Masculine Confidence Framework

Category: Confidence

This section contains mind-probing blog articles to help men develop masculine confidence in relationships.

How To Respond When Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex
The rejection you feel when your wife doesn’t want sex can cut deep.

It’s confusing, even painful, to wonder why the woman you love doesn’t seem to want your affection anymore.

She’ll say things like, “Is sex all you think about?” if you try to push past her objections.

The truth is, long before your wife feels safe to get naked with you physically, she needs to feel safe getting naked with you emotionally.

In this article, I share how I had to find my inner confidence and stop taking my wife’s rejections personally.

Masculinity coach Mark Drezga and I dive deeper in this video so you know how to respond when your wife doesn’t want sex.

How To Gain REAL Confidence When She Stops Being Intimate

Build Your Confidence When Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

When your wife doesn’t want sex, ANY response made from desperation or insecurity will prevent her from wanting sex with you.

She’s just not drawn to guys who react to her because they feel hurt.

It’s around session 2 of my masculine confidence framework when my clients have a hard dose of reality to swallow: For years, they’ve been taking sex in their marriage for granted.

If you compare marriage to a pond, and lack of intimacy to an alligator, the alligator has been there the whole time.

This means your marriage could have gone sexless ages ago.

You’ve been obliviously basking in the sun by an alligator-filled pond each time you had sex.

You behaved in ways that could trigger those alligators, and didn’t even know it.

How do the alligators come alive?
- By explaining her feelings away
- Ranting about your day without asking about hers
- Expecting her to think like you do
- Having an attitude you would never show to your friends or coworkers
- Always having an explanation for why something is not your fault
Once the alligators come out, sex is off the table.

Can you blame her?

Can you get turned on while swimming through alligator-infested waters?

But hey, you didn’t know better.

Alligator ignorance is bliss.

I call this having “oblivious” confidence.

When you’re “obviously” confident, you didn’t know you were feeding the alligators every time you complained or ignored your wife’s feelings.

You didn’t know it made her feel unsafe to be around you.

Now that your wife doesn’t want sex, you’re seeing reality for the first time.

When I teach guys how I gained confidence when my wife stopped being intimate, I’m teaching CONSCIOUS confidence.

A conscious man is fully aware of what he stands to lose, but stays present and steady.

He doesn’t fall apart when he realizes he’s been feeding alligators that make her feel unsafe.

There is a level of ACCEPTANCE he has for where she is without taking it personally.

Conscious Confidence Is Only Born Through Suffering

I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite (Form of Amish) church with a 0% divorce rate.

We were a private community completely separate from society.

We didn’t have TVs or radios, and we were only permitted to marry within the Mennonite community.

Courtship was practiced instead of dating (think of courting akin to only dating someone you’ve already decided you will marry).

My happy, self-assured, cocky-self crumbled when I first asked a girl for courtship and she refused my offer.

This was a point where I could have developed conscious confidence, but I didn’t.

With my mojo in the toilet, I fell into victimhood.

Needless to say, I attracted zero lovers for several years.

Eventually, I got enough spark back that it caught my future wife’s eye.

Since divorce was unheard of in ultra-conservative Mennonite churches nationwide, the thought never crossed my mind that I could be divorced.

Fast forward 10 years.

My wife and I were no longer part of the Mennonite community.

I found myself holding divorce papers that I didn’t want to sign.

My suffering this time was rock bottom for me.

It’s only from this place of deflated ego that “conscious” confidence is born.

Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex, She Wants Leadership

My time as a Mennonite let me see firsthand how when a man leads with confidence, the right woman will follow, and the relationship thrives like it’s supposed to.

When you stop reacting to your wife and start RESPONDING with leadership, something awakens in her.

It’s what you feel when she puts on that cute red dress.

My masculine confidence coaching program is your ticket to a better, stronger, more intimate marriage.

It’s a culmination of experienced men who have been in your shoes.

We men tend to hang onto the last shred of our ego before finally reaching out for help.

Don’t wait until all hope is lost to turn your marriage around.

Take action for your self-development NOW.

Stubbornly holding out to save a dollar saves nothing (ask me how I know).
February 20, 2024
How To Be A More Confident Husband
You’ll want to be a more confident husband when you realize just how dam attractive it is. Feminine women are drawn to confidence like a cat to catnip. This week, one of the men in our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course saw a change in his marriage. His wife (who had been disagreeable and cold) warmed up! Her change was in response to his new calm/understanding masculine frame. This article provides two key ingredients to be a more confident husband, even if your marriage is in distress.

Be A Confident Husband: 2 Key Ingredients

Love Being A Man

When your confidence is low, everything feels personal.

No morning kiss from your wife feels like a nagging stab in your gut.

Her complaints about the house make you feel like you’re not a good enough provider.

And when she says she feels emotionally neglected, you want to say, “Wait a minute, how do you think I feel?”

Unless a marriage is led by a man who is secure in himself, it will eventually disintegrate into blaming and victimhood.

You don’t need to end up as a divorced, gutted shell of yourself who blames others for your suffering.

Being more secure and unshakable leaves you with a better life, no matter what.

You’ll be a more confident husband when you value how you are built as a man.

Yet, many men quickly lose any sense of confidence when it comes to tension and conflict with their wives.

One major reason for this is due to BRAIN differences!

A study at the Brain Science Centre in Minneapolis revealed that a female brain can process data 5 times faster than a male brain.

This is why it feels like your wife can talk circles around you in an argument.

It’s why her reactions seem to go in 5 directions all at once.

That’s cool, though.

Good for her.

She’s got a gift you don’t have.

Don’t fight against it.

Appreciate it…and realize that YOUR brain has a gift of its own.

Your brain likes to process data more slowly…at an even pace in a way that makes logical sense to you.

The data your brain processes needs to pass through various phases of contemplation in your mind before making conclusions.

It’s a gift and a strength, brother!

And it’s THAT gift that might make her feel like you’re not listening.

You might look like a deer caught in the headlights while your brain is processing.

This is nothing for you to be ashamed of.

Instead, be AMUSED and own it as your superpower!

The path to confidence is about being comfortable with who you are authentically and not trying to live by other people’s standards or abilities.

There are two key ingredients to face marriage distress with confidence:
1. Be a more confident husband by knowing you’re OK
2. Be a more confident husband by trusting your intentions
You’ll Be A More Confident Husband When You Believe You’re Going To Be Ok

If your wife is talking circles around you, she’s doing what people with her brain are supposed to be doing.

She’s OK.

You’re OK.

Everyone is OK.

If your logical brain tells you she’s way off base or that she isn’t seeing things clearly, take a breath.

Your brain is just doing what it’s supposed to do.

Everything is still ok.

A man who knows deep down that he’s OK can face chaos with confidence.

The Vikings were unstoppable in battle because they believed they couldn’t die except on the day the gods had chosen.

In other words, they believed they would be OK no matter what.

The Vikings had what we call spiritual confidence, and it made them a fearless force to reckon with!

It’s a certain type of faith to develop.

Faith believing that everything is working out exactly how it’s supposed to.

Not because the big man upstairs is moving pieces on a chessboard, but because the world always balances itself through opposites.

The very fabric of reality behaves according to a specific set of rules.

It’s the same rules that keep the planets in orbit and prevent dogs from giving birth to cats.

You are supposed to go through everything that you go through.

Call it kinetic energy.

Call it the rubberband effect or karma.

Whatever it is, you have to have faith in it if you want to be a more confident husband.

Be A More Confident Husband By Trusting Your Intentions

How people decide to judge your actions is their choice.

What’s important is that you trust your own intentions.

When you trust your intentions, you can let go of needing to be right, better, or understood by others.

To be a more confident man, stop trying so hard to prove yourself.

When your intentions are honorable, simply trust them.

Act on them.

There is nothing to explain or defend when people react to it.

How You Can Take A BIG Step Towards Confidence This Week

In my coaching, you learn how to have a strong masculine frame.

To be a more confident husband requires a first step: Knowing your values.

I will teach you how to narrow your values down to a few key components that energize your masculine frame.

Your masculine frame will enable you to face marriage distress with confidence by being clear, strong, and sure of yourself.

Even if your wife has one foot out the door, doing this work gives your marriage the best chance for survival.
February 13, 2024
Heal Your Mother Wounds To Increase Masculine Confidence
This article reveals two sides of mother wounds in men and how to mature these insecurities into confidence.

The video below is longer than usual but goes deeper into what causes mother wounds in boys.

How To Turn Mommy Issues Into James Bond Confidence

The Mother Wounds Of The Absent Mom

When your mom abandons you or barely pays attention to you as a kid, you learn to act out just to get noticed.

You might resort to teasing her, disagreeing with her, or flat-out disobeying.

Feminine attention feels like love, even if her attention was only while she was punishing you for misbehaving.

Now you’re grown up.

You have a wife, and your mother wounds are going to wreak havoc on your marriage.

Do you “poke the bear” when you want some love from your wife instead of being direct?

If so, the mother wounds of the absent mom might be in you.

Another side effect of an unavailable or absent mother is that you’ll avoid vulnerability.

You’ll close off emotionally or objectify women.

Your feelings as a kid were ignored, so you learned to stomach them

If you can hide your heart, you can’t be hurt, right?

Well, being emotionally disconnected, “poking the bear”, or objectifying your wife to get her riled up so you feel loved won’t feel loving to her.

If your relationship is struggling and you want to regain your wife’s affection, you’ll have to resolve your mother wounds.

Hugh Hefner’s mother kept him at arm’s reach as a kid.

When you grow up without the trusting, strong, supporting love of the feminine, you’ll distrust it.

You’ll develop a wall towards feminine care to protect your vulnerability.

When you lack a healthy connection with your mom, you tend to objectify women or de-personalize them to make sense of the world.

That’s what Hugh Hefner did.

He went on to create Playboy Magazine and to build his Playboy mansion.

But every girlfriend he had said he was shallow.

He kept his heart closed.

He lived as a man with the mother wounds of an absent mom.

The Mother Wounds Of The Orbiting Mom

When your mom is overly focused on you, it creates mother wounds that are the exact opposite of those caused by an absent mother.

Instead of objectifying women, you expect them to be latched onto you.

The child of a mom who makes him the center of her world thinks everything revolves around him.

He thinks others are responsible for how he feels.

Elvis Presley is a great example.

Elvis’s mom was so enmeshed with him, he could hardly face life once she passed away.

Out of Elvis’s crippling loneliness, he married Priscilla, expecting her to take the role of “mommy” after his mom passed away.

The marriage of Elvis and Priscilla ended in divorce.

Elvis sang of his loneliness right up to his last days as he tried to cope with the hole his mom’s death left in his heart.

When a child is worshiped by their mother, they don’t know how to live without that support.

A Mom Who Believes in Her Son Creates A Secure Man

There’s a balance between the absent or orbiting mom, called the supportive mom.

She believes in his dreams, desires, and ambitions.

Her support grows his trust in himself and towards the feminine.

How is this different then the orbiting mom who creates mother wounds?

When he fails or messes up, she points him to men for help.

She is not his umbilical cord; other men are.

When you seek guidance from men, you reduce your reliance on femininity for well-being and courage.

Unless you’re secure in yourself, you can’t give your wife love without it being needy.

A great example of this kind of security is the James Bond character.
- James Bond stays in his own emotional lane, no matter what others are doing
- He’s deliberate with his movements and doesn’t match women’s energy when he interacts with them
- James Bond holds steady eye contact, is playful, and is in touch with his heart
Women can sense when you have a heart, feelings, and experiences, but you CHOOSE not to act on them impulsively!

A natural attraction occurs when you stay in our own frame around the changing whims of feminine and when you don’t need her to coddle you.

Even if your mom didn’t believe in you, the mother wounds can be healed when you surround yourself with men who believe in you.

How To Turn Your Mother Wounds Into Confidence

As a boy, you looked to others to tell you if you did things right, if you were fast, smart, or funny.

It doesn’t matter if you had an attentive or absent mother; you’re an adult now.

You get to define your masculine frame and stop acting from mother wounds.

Below is an image of what a masculine frame looks like.

Without a strong INTERNAL frame to contain your behaviours, you’ll feel weak and soft to women.

My guess is you don’t like being flimsy or wishy-washy any more than she does.

You can heal your mother wounds and gain this frame when you rewrite some of your core beliefs.

Right now, you look at life with assumptions (core beliefs) you don’t even know you have.

There are new mindsets to learn.

New clarifications to form about your identity as a man.

This kind of deep work doesn’t happen in one or two sessions.

Most guys see a permanent change after about 6 months of doing the deep work.

I’ll be vulnerable and say I was not one of those 6-month guys; it took me 4 years!

This stuff can’t be rushed or forced; it takes commitment.

Are you a committed man who’s ready to change how you’ll show up in relationships over the next 20-30 years?
February 13, 2024
I’m A Good Guy, Why Doesn’t My Wife Want Me?
I know you’re a great provider and all-around good guy….but, your wife isn’t impressed. In fact, she might even be asking for space or ready to file for divorce. I’ll introduce you to a former client and share how he saved his marriage. Many men have thought, “I’m a good guy, why doesn’t my wife want me?” But few have realized that being “good” isn’t what attracts her.

I’m A Good Guy, Why Doesn’t My Wife Want Me??

If you value family, hard work, integrity, being a handyman, honesty, or loyalty, then we’re cut from the same cloth.

If you lean towards being easy-going, non-confrontational, conflict-avoidant, or self-sacrificing, then we’re pretty much blood brothers.

“Camp Good Guy” – Where Relationships Go To Die

I’m a seasoned veteran at “Camp Good Guy”.

This is a camp where every man thinks being good separates him from the assholes.

Maybe you don’t like how your dad was forceful with your mom.

Or you’re repulsed by how most men treat women.

Whatever the case, you decided to never become like THOSE men.

So you joined “Camp Good Guy”.

Makes sense.

Until your sex life is gone and you’re wondering what happened.

I’ve lived at “Camp Good Guy” long enough to tell you how life goes in this camp.

You’ll marry a woman who’s your opposite.

You’ll pour your soul into creating a life for her that you never had.

Over time, you’ll learn to tiptoe around her sensitivities and suppress your opinions to avoid conflict.

Secretly, you’ll compare what you provide to how she acts, and feel shorted.

At “Camp Good Guy”, men’s wives are lining up to leave the relationship.

These soon-to-be ex-husbands are hearing complaints like:
- You don’t stand up for me
- I don’t feel supported
- I don’t feel an emotional connection with you
- I love you, but I don’t feel in love with you
- You make me feel stupid and invalidate my feelings
How A Man Moved Out Of “Camp Good Guy” And Saved His Marriage

Meet Gavin.

Gavin is a client who joined the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course a year and a half ago.

Gavin’s marriage was on the verge of falling apart

He was terrified to breathe, fearing the axe would fall and his wife would file for divorce.

Just like you and I, Gavin was thinking, “I’m a good guy, why doesn’t my wife want me?”

He feared she might be having an affair.

Through the course, Gavin learned to drop his unspoken expectations and grievances toward his wife.

He learned how to be secure in himself, how to live his values, have a spine, and be direct while still showing presence and care for his wife’s feelings.

Gavin didn’t become mean.

The opposite of the “good guy” isn’t a tyrant.

It’s about having self-worth and not giving with strings attached.

This new, mature version of Gavin left his wife with a choice.

She could choose to walk away from an amazing man, or she could join him in a more mature way of interacting.

She chose to surrender to his leadership and match his level of love and respect.

Over the last year and a half, Gavin’s marriage has been the most intimate, connected, respectful, and loving it has ever been.

Just like you, Gavin read a similar email about the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

Gavin decided to get off the fence and join.

His testimony today is that he would have lost his marriage if he hadn’t joined our course.

I encourage you to check out the course or have a private conversation with me.

I promise you’ll have no regrets learning how to be a more confident, secure man.

At some point, each of us has thought, “I’m a good guy, why doesn’t my wife want me?”

We’re in the trenches together learning to let go of our win-lose mindsets and give from abundance, not needy expectations.

I’m ready to welcome you into this new way of living with open arms.
February 10, 2024
What To Do When She Says, “Stop Trying To Fix Me”
Does an honest conversation with your wife turn into her saying, “Stop trying to fix me?” This article tells a TRUE story about how men and women interact differently with emotions. In the video below, I share how to communicate with your wife so she doesn’t feel like you’re trying to fix her.

She Said, “Stop Trying To Fix Me!!” – How To Respond

Trying To Fix Women: A Peek Behind The Curtain

Billy enters the living room.

His wife’s face is distressed.

Grace and Billy have been married for nearly a decade, and he knows when one of her meltdowns is imminent.

Billy is a competent man.

He can fix anything to keep the household running… except for Grace when she’s this worked up.

“I feel like I have to do EVERYTHING around here,” Grace sobs.

Billy replies, “No, you don’t! When was the last time you did anything outside? I handle ALL the yardwork myself!”

Grace’s face tightens, “Why is everything always about you? A decent husband would give me some emotional support!”

“I’m not making everything about me! I’m just pointing out how you got yourself into this mess.” Billy said emphatically.

A few tears leak down Grace’s cheeks.

Billy and Grace always fall into this rut.

Grace makes illogical complaints, Billy points out why she is wrong, and then Grace makes him feel like he’s failed.

Billy knows he’s dug himself into a hole.

He tries to climb out by saying, “Why didn’t you ask for help if you felt overloaded? I would have helped. Plus, half the stuff you did could have waited!”

“Stop trying to fix me!” Grace replies.

There it was… the ONE phrase that always baffled Billy… Why on earth does she think he’s trying to “fix” her??

“I’m not trying to fix you! I’m just trying to understand,” Billy says sharply.

Grace stands up straight, wipes her tears, and walks out of the room.

Billy hears her go into their bedroom and close the door.

“Great… Now she’ll keep herself locked in our bedroom all afternoon, then give me the silent treatment when she emerges,” Billy mumbles as he throws his hands up in bewilderment.

Do You Feel Misunderstood When She Says, “Stop Trying To Fix Me”?

In the story of Billy and Grace, there’s two dynamics unfolding.
1. Grace is focused on WHAT she feels.
2. Billy is focused on WHY she feels it.
In a man’s world, 99% of our distress is around the “WHY”.
- WHY is the roof leaking?
- WHY is my shirt lost?
- WHY does my wife not want sex?
As a man, you have a logical, troubleshooting brain.

You intend to make things better.

This can leave you feeling misunderstood when your partner doesn’t see it that way.

That’s because she doesn’t need a solution.

In your world, if you can find the WHY, you can change the WHY, and then give a solution.

This process works great in the workplace, laboratory, and engineering department!

But when you interact with a woman, it makes her feel like you’re not seeing the whole picture.

If your wife is staying, “stop trying to fix me”, it’s best to keep your WHY questions to yourself.

Is There A Time You Should Be “Fixing” Your Wife?

Yes, there’s one time when you should “fix” your wife…When she asks you to!

I’m going to be Captain Obvious and point something out.

Trying to “fix” your wife never creates a deeper connection in the marriage.

Trying to “fix” your crumbling marriage will have the same result.

Men come to me every day wanting to “fix” their relationship.

I empower my clients with the necessary tools to overcome their OWN fears, insecurities, and emotional dependencies.

The flighty, emotional, ebb and flow of feminine is not a riddle to solve.

Your role as her man is to be the string to her kite, a man with balls.

A man with balls…
- Has nothing to prove
- Doesn’t need to be right or change how others feel for him to be okay
- Isn’t a doormat in the relationship
If you want to learn how to be the masculine leader in your relationship, then consider joining our, “Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course“

How To Lead Connection When She Says, “Stop Trying To Fix Me”

Not surprisingly, Billy and Grace ended up divorced.

This was the wake-up call Billy needed.

He dove into personal development.

He found there’s a different way to THINK about women, emotions, and feelings.

His new understanding helped him stop taking things so personally.

He learned how to BE relaxed, accepting, and empathetic towards women.

He no longer pushed for the “why” behind women’s feelings and could listen to “what” she feels instead.

Billy met a new lady and created a deep connection with her.

He opened layers of her heart she had never shared before.

How juicy is that!

His new relationship skills were not luck.

Billy deliberately learned to drop HIS discomfort, HIS confusion, and HIS tension around women’s feelings.

Perhaps you’re at the end of your rope and want to go all in on the biggest transformation of your life.

If you can relate to Billy’s story, take the next step.
February 10, 2024
STOP Tiptoeing Around Your Wife
Tiptoeing around your wife makes her feel like she has to fend for herself. This damages her sense of security in the relationship. A grounded, confident husband makes her feel safe by being direct. Here’s a story to help you understand what tiptoeting around your wife looks like so you can avoid it.

Why You Need To STOP Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

The Negative Effects Of Being Indirect

Gerald felt torn.

He sat in the hot tub with his wife, Susan.

She looked intently at him for an answer.

He didn’t know what to say.

Part of him knew if he spoke plainly, all hell would break loose from her.

The other part of him knew his tactics of tiptoeing around questions had been getting under her skin lately.

There was a part of Susan Gerald dreaded.

He had named this part of her “the dragon”.

Although he had never admitted this term to Susan, she instinctively knew he saw part of her this way.

Susan’s “dragon” was a cold, dismissive, angry, and moody personality that usually surfaced around her period.

For years, Gerald managed to keep Susan’s “dragon” asleep by not disturbing the peace when she was on edge.

He was a black-belt master at adjusting his responses based on how he felt she would react.

Adjusting your responses is typical when you’re tiptoeing around your wife.

You’re putting feelers out to see how she takes it before saying your truth.

Susan wasn’t the only one Gerald used this tactic with.

Customers, family members, in-laws… Gerald could smooth over anything with anyone.

Gerald’s Indirect Answers Made His Wife Lose Respect

Over the last few months, Gerald’s indirect behaviors made Susan feel very unsupported in the marriage.

She struggled to respect him because she never knew where he stood.

Her complaints were:
- I don’t feel like you have my back
- You always try to fix me
- I can’t trust you
- I don’t feel heard
- You make everything about you
As Gerald and Susan sat in the hot tub, Gerald opened his mouth to speak.

Susan immediately sensed he was going to walk on eggshells.

She stopped him mid-sentence.

“See! You always do this!!” Susan said.

Gerald tried to backpedal with a logical excuse.

It only dug him into a deeper hole.

Sound familiar?

It’s easy to try to be blameless while tiptoeing around your wife.

Susan wasn’t having it.

“Just tell me, did you or did you not tell your mom exactly why we won’t be going to their place for Thanksgiving?” She asked.

Gerald knew he hadn’t been direct with his mom… He didn’t want to piss her off either. Gerald had given his mom a list of excuses why they wouldn’t be there for the holiday…

He tried to explain himself, then Susan cut him off again:

“I’m done. I’m done with you never having any backbone… I don’t even feel like I can stay in this relationship.”

Garald’s marriage was on a razor’s edge from divorce.

What Susan desperately needed was to feel safe, protected, and contained in the marriage.

Without masculine “containment“, women feel they don’t have a champion in their corner, and you feel like you’re tiptoing around your wife.

How To Stop Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

Throw out everything you thought you knew about how marriage works.

You need to get back to the basics of what it means to be masculine, so the natural attraction with feminine can happen.

Tiptoeing around your wife?

It feels feminine to her.

That’s why it lowers attraction.

I’m not saying buy a truck or play more sports.

That’s not what makes you masculine.

Being masculine is about being sure, grounded, firm, present, and clear.

When we work on your inner confidence, you become that man naturally.

You need confidence to stop tiptoeing around your wife.

Fear of conflict, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment… there’s always a fear driving people-pleasing.

There’s always a fear behind being overly agreeable.

That fear puts your wife into a state of fight or flight.

I teach you how to THINK differently about your fears.

You become solid in yourself and less bothered by how your wife responds to you.

You’ll be able to open your heart to her when you used to shut down.

What you used to avoid you’ll face head-on.

Your wife will be less reactive with your fear out of the room.
January 30, 2024
Your Wife Loves You But Isn’t In Love: How To Bring Afffection Back
When your wife loves you but isn’t in love with you, it shakes you to your core. The desperation. The fear. The loneliness. I’ve been there. I’ve been the guy up at 3:00 AM searching Google on how to save your marriage. At some point, you realize this isn’t about saving your marriage. This is about saving yourself. Here’s a true story from another man who didn’t let his wife’s loss of feelings destroy his life.

Marriage Without Masculine Confidence Is Doomed

It’s 3:00 Am.

Josh can’t sleep.

His wife, Marcia, is working a graveyard shift.

He’s alone in bed.

Something Marcia said before she left for work really bothers him.

“I don’t feel in love with you anymore. I mean, I still love you, like a really good friend, but I don’t want to have sex anymore.”

What does it even mean when your wife says she loves you but isn’t in love with you??

Josh still has feelings for his wife and can’t imagine living in a sexless marriage.

He feels desperate to bring affection back, the cuddles, and the sexy Sunday mornings.

But he’s not sure where to start.

He feels like he’s done everything a great husband should do.

He’s always quick to agree with her and never pressures her with his views or opinions.

She’s a very strong, independent woman, and he always appreciates her for being that way.

On the outside, Josh seems easy-going.

But on the inside, he feels like Marcia’s withdrawal is unfair.

He hopes that leaving little clues about what bothers him will make Marcia change.

Like when she takes trips without him.

Or when she’s at work all night and he sleeps alone.

He would never openly say what bothers him; he doesn’t want to create conflict.

Instead, he cleverly slips in snide comments about her trips, hoping it will discourage her.

He’ll make sarcastic jokes about being home alone, hoping she’ll feel bad for him.

That’s how Josh drops bread crumbs instead of speaking openly and honestly.

When Marcia messes up, Josh never gets angry.

But he does give her a look that says, “You’re being dumb.”

When she’s not in the mood for sex, he won’t say anything negative… but he gets mopey, hoping she’ll have sympathy.

Josh is unaware that his indirect behaviours are not helping to bring affection back into his relationship.

To Marcia, it’s a huge turn-off when he beats around the bush, trying not to offend her.

Deep down, Josh is insecure about facing conflict.

Marcia senses this.

She would feel more secure in the relationship if he was more secure in himself to be direct with her.

When your wife loves you but isn’t in love, she’s struggling to relax into her feminine state, where she can feel affection with you.

She needs your masculine confidence to feel safe enough to relax.

Not just physically relax, but to emotionally relax and open her heart.

This is the deeper connection feminine needs that awakens her desire for physical closeness and intimacy.

Masculine Confidence Polarizes Your Wife’s Feminine Attraction Towards You

Josh thinks he’s doing everything a great husband should do for his wife!
- He prioritizes her pleasure, ensuring she orgasms first
- He’s always agreeable
- He sacrifices time with friends, leisure activities, and solo adventures to be with her on the weekends
- He works really hard at his job and always puts food on the table
- He’s remodeled the bathroom and put new carpet in the house, trying to make her happy
Josh feels resentful, knowing he’s done so much without Marcia reciprocating

For all he’s sacrificed, shouldn’t she at least show him some affection?

But these actions won’t bring affection back.

Josh’s efforts with strings attached make Marcia feel manipulated.

Maybe that’s why your wife loves you but isn’t in love with you.

To her, you feel like another kid to take care of.

Another child with needs she has to meet.

And your smoldering resentment for all you’ve done only makes her feel like she needs space from it all.

Lead By Example When Your Wife Loves You But Isn’t In Love

Josh never buys himself anything nice, but he secretly hopes his wife will.

Snacks, a new shirt, renting a movie, going in nature, or planning a fun trip – those are things he wants, but he never actually asks for.

Instead, he broods over his expectations not being met.

He waits in frustration for his wife to meet his needs.

There are things Marcia secretly hopes Josh will do for her, too.

She thinks Josh should know her well enough to take charge when she’s overwhelmed.

That he should be able to buy her an outfit she likes or know what book she wants for her birthday.

Both of them are suffering from a lack of experiences they think the other is responsible for.

This is what happens when a relationship loses masculine/feminine polarity.

You get stuck in a stalemate.

The Google Search History That Nearly Ended Josh’s Marriage

Here Josh was… Spending the wee hours of the morning watching YouTube videos about how to save your marriage.

He found one guy who seemed to have solid advice.

Josh found his website and eBook.

Yikes!

The eBook cost $7.99.

Screw that!

Josh went back to watching free self-help YouTube videos.

Then another hour slipped by as he found some porn.

The next morning, Josh woke up exhausted from little sleep.

He left for work.

Nothing changed in his life.

When he got home, Marcia was beside herself.

She pointed to the computer screen and then to the browser history.

“Have you been watching porn?” She demanded.

“No!” Josh studderd, knowing he was caught red-handed.

“Well, how do you explain the browser history?” She said, furious.

Josh made up a story, blaming family members who stayed with them.

Marcia believed the lie, but Josh knew this wasn’t over.

Here’s a video with perspective on why masculine confidence is magnetic when your wife loves you but isn’t in love with you:

She Doubting Her Feelings For You? Masculine Confidence Is Vital

What To Do When Your Wife Loves You But Isn’t In Love

When your wife loves you but isn’t in love, the relationship is over.

Not your future relationship with her, your old relationship with her.

It’s time for marriage 2.0.

And marriage 2.0 won’t happen until you start turning pages in the next amazing chapter of your life.

You have to launch into this new chapter knowing you’ll be ok even if your wife doesn’t join.

This is how you create an INVITATION into something better.

It’s how you bring affection back through attraction.

She has to get to know you all over again.

She has to fall in love with you again.

Josh’s pain in his marriage got so bad that he finally broke down and spent $7.99 on the eBook.

This was the first time he had ever invested in himself.

If felt strange, like he needed someone’s permission.

This was a turning point.

Josh gave himself permission to prioritize his own development.

Making himself a priority felt good!

Soon, he did something he never thought he would: He hired a life coach.

It cost over $10k.

His business saw a 30% boost in profits as a result.

Josh continued to invest in himself, spending over $50k in personal development over the next 24 months.

He showed up to the coaching sessions consistently.

He followed through on the homework.

The personal work rewired his brain.

The results of investing in himself were off the charts.

With a new mindset toward life, a community of men who had his back, and balls of brass, he boldly faced his fears.
- His property portfolio doubled.
- His business brought in over a million in sales.
- He manifested a job that covered all his coaching investments and an additional $50k as a down payment on his dream house.
His relationship with women became sensual, deep, and meaningful.

And most importantly, Josh’s sense of well-being and love for life flowed out to others.

Josh has to pinch himself each morning when he looks out the window.

He’s actually living his dream life TODAY!

Marcia didn’t like his new life.

And that gave Josh clarity.

No more settling.

No more trying to smile while he hurt on the inside.

The new woman who came into his life in this new chapter loved the life he built.

They SHARED important values that kept the relationship strong.

For many of my clients, this “new woman” was a new version of their wife.

New things start coming out of her when new things start coming out of you.

Sounds too good to be true?

Well, it’s a true story.

Your Next Step To Bring Affection Back Into Your Marriage

Nothing outside Josh changed.

He still lives on the same planet as he always has.

What changed is that Josh became a confident husband, brother, employer, son, and leader.

Why is it that we men want a priceless marriage but struggle to invest in ourselves?

Waiting for your wife to improve is a never-ending wait.

Show her a new you before it’s too late.

Work on your own lack of self-worth, low self-esteem, and dependency on others for joy and love – and let that magnetism do all the attracting.

This is about securing YOUR amazing future.

Before you can bring affection back into your marriage, you have to put yourself first.

Reach out.
January 29, 2024