I bet as a newlywed, the title, “How To Make Your Wife Love You” never would’ve grabbed your attention. A few years, bills, and kids later, it can feel like the #1 issue in our lives. This article gives two mindsets that need to change if you want your wife to love you again.
Natural Love Vs Forced Love
I’ll spill the beans right now… you can’t make your wife love you.
“But shouldn’t she love me for who I am?”
Nope.
She doesn’t owe you anything.
Nobody does.
“But she vowed to be my wife! She promised!”
Doesn’t matter.
She can’t force herself to love you.
The sooner we stop believing the lies fed to us by society and fairy tales, the happier we’ll be!
Your wife is a female so she will always act on her FEELINGS.
However, we tend to doubt that things are that simple.
Our male brain is convinced troubleshooting the problems will fix the relationship.
- Why won’t you be affectionate?
- Why won’t you have more sex with me?
- Why won’t you respect me?
- Why won’t you be sweet and romantic?
- Why won’t you open up?
Funny how we would NEVER use all those “why” statements on a first date to seduce a woman.
So why do we think hashing these pain points with our wife will be effective?
For me, those “why” statements are how I sound when I’m responding from fear, anxiety, and insecurity.
We need to shift our mindset and realize things like affection, love, sex, and intimacy are things that ensue but cannot be pursued.
Numerous dictators have demanded obedience and loyalty, yet the commitment of their followers is never as fervent as that of the zealots who ATTRACTED their followers.
Females are RESPONDERS to the vibe in the room.
Think of feminine love, affection, and desire like the moon.
Without a light source, there is no moonlight.
You are her light source.
Again, we guys assume what we DO is the light she responds from!
We make money, unclog the toilet, take the family on vacations, mow the lawn, and then expect her to be dripping in desire for us.
The vibe we put out while we’re doing these things is what she responds from, not the action itself!
This doesn’t mean we should stop unclogging the toilet or mowing the lawn.
We DO those things for our OWN sense of integrity.
She will sense when we stop DOING things with a vibe of expectation towards her and start BEING a man who enjoys living up to his own standards he has for himself.
Chasing Love Chases It Away
The most effective way to get rid of a woman is to chase her.
I know what you’re thinking, “I thought women want to be pursued”? This is true.
Women WANT to be pursued.
Give her that pursuit, and she loses the WANT.
Keeping her wanting is the secret to attraction!
You know what comes along with wanting? DESIRE.
Warning! This is one of those things we get to know as a man but should never tell to a woman.
In her emotional brain, it will never make sense to her.
Just ask yourself this, how often has placating to your wife’s perspectives helped your relationship?
Exactly.
Adjusting your responses to her whims gave you a friend-zoned, sexless marriage, didn’t it?
Trying to align to her feminine perspectives has been lowering her attraction to us all along.
Needing Her Support Turns Her Off
Women are wired to show up to the finish line of the race and feel ALIVE celebrating with you in your accomplishments.
Hand-holding, support along the way, and being our emotional tampon during the race is a mothering role no lover is going to sign up for.
When we seek mothering energy from our wife, we can kiss her erotic side goodbye.
Support, a pat on the back, and the encouragement we need as men must come from men.
A lot of us sought mothering energy from our wives through sex!
We used sex to validate ourselves as being successful men.
We saw our ability to give her an orgasm as feminine approval.
The more secure we get about not needing her to validate us, the more her desire for intimacy grows.
We need to shift our mindset from holding others responsible for how we feel to taking responsibility for the vibe we’re putting out.
I’ve known women who broke up with their previous partner because “all he wanted was sex”
Yet, now she’s having tons of sex with her new lover, so what’s different?
What’s different is the new lover doesn’t give a shit when she’s not in the mood.
If he starts to grope her and she pulls his hand away, he doesn’t pester her or mope.
He acts like he couldn’t care less if she isn’t in the mood.
When he sees her on her phone instead of engaging with him, he goes and creates an adventure or experience more interesting than her phone.
He gives her a kiss in the morning with zero expectations that she will reciprocate.
He makes sure to treat himself so he can BRING energy to the relationship instead of trying to GET energy from her.
She understands she doesn’t have to provide anything for him to feel empowered.
A woman’s lover side can’t help but be drawn in when she senses our strength is self-reliant.
Go From Sexually Needy To Secure and Sexually Empowered
There’s a specific process I went through to build my security from the inside out.
Some of my old mindsets needed to be rewired.
Some of my values had to be rewritten!
Building our inner man is like undergoing surgery.
Cutting out our false ideas and challenging our old beliefs is bloody work.
I personally sought mentorship from men who had what I wanted.
In my 1:1 Masculine Confidence Framework, you’ll gain a deep understanding of the enduring principles and perspectives held by these individuals.
If you’re ready to stop blaming your wife for how you feel and start living like a powerful, clear-thinking, masculine man then reach out!
I offer a FREE 60-minute consultation to see if this work is right for you.
If you want to jump right in, consider my Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.
The course contains committed men who are getting their brains rewired and gaining a clear masculine frame!
There’s a shift you’ll notice in doing this work…
You start off wanting to know how to make your wife love you, but eventually, you realize the true challenge lies in living as a secure, mission-focused man who loves himself.
Much love,
Garrett Prettyman
Schedule your free Masculine Confidence Call and get tailored guidance using the Masculine Confidence Framework™.
Or, check out my free eBook on how to restore passionate intimacy.
Stay grounded, brother.
Garrett Prettyman
Founder of the Masculine Confidence Framework™
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