You’ve heard the quote, “You’ll miss 100% of the shots you never takeâ€.What if I told you, “The level of pleasure you can experience is proportional to the level of pain you can face?”This article is about polarizing her desire by holding tension (even when it feels scary as hell).
Polarizing Her Desire In The Right Season
Your relationship is like a garden.
Trying to sprout beans in the dead of winter is a fool’s run.
If your wife has asked for “space†your relationship is not in the right season for the advice you’re about to read.
Go watch my video titled “How To Give Your Wife Space Without Losing Her†to get clear on what you can do.
If your relationship is in the daily grind of the mundane and needs a jump-start, keep reading!
Tension – The Potent Ingredient To Polarizing Her Desire
Men are attracted to beauty, women are attracted to strong safety.
It’s not just your ability to beat up bad guys or wrestle tigers that I’m talking about when I say, “strong safety”.
When…
- A woman feels we can be direct instead of beating around the bush, she knows we can handle someone’s verbal assaults on her
- We step up and sort the schedule, decide where to eat, and have a plan for the day she feels we don’t need her to “mother” us
- She senses we can keep eye contact even when we’re blushing, she knows we can control our impulses
- We listen to her accusations without getting defensive, she knows we wouldn’t harm anyone as a reaction
These are all forms of facing and then holding strong under tension.
There can be no sense of erotic play without the energy of tension!
One thing to notice is when you “leak†tension.
Laughing releases energy.
I’m not saying you should never laugh, but notice when you laugh because something is funny vs trying to clear the air of tension.
How I Failed And Succeeded At Building Tension
Right now, I’m sitting on a plane typing this.An old man just walked down the aisle towards me.
He noticed my blanket had fallen into the aisle.
With a very somber face, he picked it up and placed it on the seat next to me.
His frustration was thick in the air so I laughed and said, “Oops!â€.
The old man glared back unimpressed.
Here’s why this laugh was unnecessary: I was chuckling because I was uncomfortable with his sour emotion.
Other people’s emotions are not mine to manage!
He can have his sour emotion, it’s not my job to deal with that for him.
So hey, I’m a recovering nice guy just like you.
Even though that story was an example of what NOT to do when allowing tension to build, I do have success stories too 🙂
The other day, I was on a date with an attractive women.
She talked…A LOT.
One thing I’ve learned about women is they only talk a lot to people they like, so I took it as a compliment.
So I..
- Stayed present
- Held eye contact
- Teased her a little and felt the tension building between us
- Held the tension
- Didn’t laugh it away, bounce my leg, or change the topic
- stayed present and let the tension build between us
In fact, I slowed down and stayed facing her, letting her be the first to break eye contact.
Holding energy like this is porn to women.
A few hours later, we were at her place making hot love in the bedroom.
Women crave to let go! To expand. To be taken.
Her body can’t do this if she senses your energy is nervous, flighty, or needy.
It takes inner confidence to sit with tension.
Two Ways To Hold Tension
1. Breathe into your balls to relax.
2. Develop the mindset of a confident man.
Breath work can be as simple as pulling your stomach out when you inhale.
I like to picture that I’m inflating my balls when I inhale.
This kind of deep breathing grounds and relaxes our bodies.
Any time we have constriction in our body, we’re blocking our energy flow.
Masculine energy is open, relaxed, broad, and open.
Both masculinity coach G.S Youngblood and Doctor Greg Wells teach how daily breathwork can increase our resilience to stress and regulate our nervous system.
Make breathing your #1 priority when feeling tension or anxiety building between you and your partner.
Breathing is always in the PRESENT.
Being in the NOW while remaining unperturbed is very polarizing.
Developing the mindset of a confident man is more of a process.
Most of what’s taught to us in movies and culture leads us to think others are making us feel how we feel.
A confident man understands what he feels is his own creation based on his current perspective.
The power in this is he can choose a new perspective when his feelings get buzzing.
Like in my story above, I could have thought, “Why won’t this woman shut up?
She’s been talking for a solid hour!!â€
Or, I could decide to think, “Women talk to guys they like. This is a compliment.â€
Same situation.
Different mindset.
Different mindsets affect the vibe you put off!
The Next Step To Polarizing Her Desire
This article is just the tip of the iceberg.
I teach men a whole lot more when I take them through my “Masculine Confidence Frameworkâ€.
Yes, it’s a big investment to have 1:1 coaching like this.
It’s supposed to be.
Re-wiring your brain requires a serious commitment to change.
If you’re ready to make this investment in yourself, fill out my “Get Grounded Now†form for a free consultation.
Polarizing her desire is a natural byproduct of healthy self-esteem, grounded energy, and confident behaviors.
Stay grounded brother,
Garrett Prettyman
Schedule your free Masculine Confidence Call and get tailored guidance using the Masculine Confidence Framework™.
Or, check out my free eBook on how to restore passionate intimacy.
Stay grounded, brother.
Garrett Prettyman
Founder of the Masculine Confidence Framework™
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