A deeper connection is intimate. It’s meaningful. If you’re feeling stuck in your marriage, frustrated by the neglect and misunderstandings, realize this: a deeper connection isn’t about fixing things. It’s about being able to LISTEN.
Deeper Connection is About Relaxing Enough To Tune In
Back when I had my snowplowing business, we used radios to keep the trucks in sync.
Everybody knew their lane, their role, and their timing like Canadian geese flying in formation.
You might think that kind of clear-cut system would work at home, right?
Just say what you need to say, and the other person listens.
But marriage isn’t a job site, it’s a dance with a pretty lady.
And that dance runs on emotional connection, not instructions.
A man in a relaxed state of mind invites deeper connection without effort.
Read that last sentence again.
- Trying to make her understand where things went wrong
- Explaining your intentions she misread
- Shooting a text back, trying to use logic to fix her opinion
Those behaviours don’t come from a relaxed state of mind.
That’s why she’s pulling away from you.
She doesn’t want to manage your monkey mind for you.
She Doesn’t Want the ‘Why’, She Wants the ‘What’
Here’s the thing about men: We’re wired to ask why.
Why’s the car smoking?
Why’s this situation broken?
But for women, a deeper connection is all about the what.
What does she feel?
What’s her heart telling her?
The next time your wife critiques your dishwasher-loading skills, don’t ask why she cares.
Ask yourself what she’s feeling.
Frustration?
Overwhelm?
That’s where a deeper connection starts.
Think of her emotions as layers.
On the surface, there’s what she’s showing.
The irritation and the complaints.
Beneath that are her feelings, the unspoken truth of what’s really going on.
And at the core?
Desire.
Exploring her desire is where she wants to meet you for a deeper connection, brother.
Think of everything your wife says as having 3 layers.
- Her words
- Her feeling that made her say those words
- Something she desires that is totally unrelated, but gave her the feeling above
If you take the bait and get sucked into level one or two, her desire hasn’t been connected with.
When she feels like you get her desire, walls come down, connection lights up, and suddenly, the dishwasher isn’t such a big deal.
In the video below, I spend 20 minutes going over how to lead a deeper connection in more detail.
How to Turn Things Around
Here’s the deal: a deeper connection grows when you’re calm and confident.
A deeper connection is blocked when you’re defensive, overly agreeable, or trying too hard to fix things.
The best thing you can do is stay in your lane, own your space, and lead with empathy.
When you’re clear on who you are, she can’t rock your boat.
Because a man who knows who he is explains nothing, defends nothing, and needs nothing about her to change for him to have a calm state of mind.
Want to lead a deeper connection with your partner?
Start with yourself.
Confidence isn’t about proving your worth; it’s about knowing it.
It’s about showing up clear, grounded, and ready to meet her where she is with love.
If you’re ready to dig in and do the work, let’s talk.
Schedule your free Masculine Confidence Call and get tailored guidance using the Masculine Confidence Framework™.
Or, check out my free eBook on how to restore passionate intimacy.
Stay grounded, brother.
Garrett Prettyman
Founder of the Masculine Confidence Framework™
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