Tag: Building Emotional Connection

  • Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    Are you pointing a finger at your wife for your sexless marriage? Don’t blame her until you take a hard look in the mirror, brother. When your wife emotionally and sexually withdraws, you can find yourself in the depths of despair and heartache. I know a sexless marriage wasn’t what you signed up for. But wallowing in resentment and blame doesn’t create intimacy. Let Chris’s story below be your roadmap back to confidence and intimacy.

    How Did Chris End Up In A Sexless Marriage?

    Meet Chris.

    Chris is known for his remarkable kindness and for always going the extra mile to please others. 

    He has a gentle soul, and conflict is his sworn enemy. 

    He would do anything to avoid confrontation and prides himself on being a peacemaker.

    Chris’s marriage to his wife, Sarah, started off blissfully. 

    They were deeply in love and seemed to have a fairytale relationship. 

    As time passed, Sarah began to feel a growing disconnect. 

    Chris’s unwavering niceness became suffocating, and his fear of conflict prevented open communication between them.

    Rather than leading an emotional connection with Sarah, Chris would walk on eggshells, hoping not to upset her.

    In their intimate life, Chris’s insatiable sexual neediness further strained their relationship.

    He constantly sought validation and reassurance, often pressuring Sarah for physical intimacy. 

    His desperation for connection had unintentionally pushed Sarah away, and she no longer felt the same attraction she once had.

    Sarah longed for a partner who could stand up for himself, express his desires and needs, and engage in honest conversations. 

    She craved a sense of balance, where both partners were able to communicate their feelings openly, even if it meant occasional disagreements.

    Feeling the growing distance, Sarah contemplated the state of their marriage. 

    She realized that if things continued as they were, both of them would suffer. 

    Sarah knew deep down that Chris’s innate kindness was genuine, but it was overshadowed by his fear of conflict and his inability to assert himself.

    She wanted to feel attracted to Chris, but an unexplainable pressure kept her from feeling anything but disgust whenever she was around him.

    Though she hated to think of it, Sarah knew deep down that the only way she could have the relationship she wanted was to leave Chris. 

    Does Avoiding Conflict Lead To A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her If She’s Turned Off By It

    Chris’s wife wasn’t trying to punish him by withholding intimacy.

    Even she felt confused why her body shut down around him.

    Jump forward 24 months.

    Chris and Sarah’s marriage only worsened. 

    Sarah had come to terms that she didn’t want to be with Chris and told him she wanted a divorce. 

    Chris was devastated. 

    Determined to change, he embarked on a journey of self-improvement.

    Chris sought mentorship to explore his own insecurities and learn healthier ways of expressing his needs

    Through self-reflection and guidance, he began to strike a balance between being kind and standing up for himself. 

    He discovered that true strength lies not in avoiding conflicts but in being unshakable in his self-esteem, boundaries, and personal values. 

    Over time, the dynamic between Chris and Sarah started to shift!

    Chris was living from a more masculine frame, and it evoked something primal in Sarah.

    Their conversations became more honest and open as they learned to communicate their desires and concerns without reacting from a place of neediness, insecurity, or fear. 

    Chris’s newfound self-assuredness and willingness to engage in constructive dialogue reignited the spark in their relationship.

    As they grew together, Chris learned the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between kindness and assertiveness. 

    He discovered that intimacy blossoms when his vibe feels safe and grounded.

    Sarah felt comfortable sharing her feelings with him again.

    In a word, it was Chris’s newfound confidence with emotions that drew her in.

    Your Chance To Restore Intimacy

    Did the story of Chris & Sarah sound familiar?

    Learn the key building blocks to become an attractive, happy, CONFIDENT man who women can’t resist in the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

    Watch this video for a sneak peek into the benefits men are gaining in this course!

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    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    If you’re action-oriented, serious about making permanent changes in your mojo, relationships, sex life, and work life (and have a sense of humor), then you should join this course.

    Over the years, I’ve appreciated the research into intimacy Esther Perel has done.

    In her article, “Are Taboos Holding Your Relationship Back?” she reminds us how familiarity breeds loss of desire.

    Let this truth relax your anxious mind that when something NEW comes out of you, something NEW will come out of the relationship.

    Have A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her… Focus On Being A Man You’re Proud Of
    Your love story can take a new turn.

    Your relationship can be stronger and more passionate than ever when you stop trying to please her and focus on rebuilding your self-confidence.

    You can learn how to give her space without losing her.

    You can use a season of no intimacy to dig deeper into being a more self-reliant man.

    Why?

    Because feminine can’t help but be attracted to a self-reliant, confident man!

    And hey, you know that feels good:)

    In my coaching, I can give you highly personalized guidance to rebuild your attractive masculine energy.

  • Masculine Identity Crisis: A Key Breakdown in Modern Marriages

    Masculine Identity Crisis: A Key Breakdown in Modern Marriages

    This article is about a masculine identity crisis plaguing many men and why this breakdown is creating frustration in marriages.

    The struggle to feel desirable when your wife or girlfriend isn’t being affectionate can be painful.

    You’ll tend to think, “If only she would warm up to me, everything would feel better!

    I realize this logically makes sense.

    But what if needing your wife to change is what’s keeping her (and you) stuck?

    If sex is the only thing that makes you feel valuable, it’s time to get back to the roots of what it means to be a man.

    In the video below, relationship coach Mark Drezga and I explain how a masculine identity crisis is leaving men uncertain about what they’re supposed to provide in modern marriages.

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    Masculine Identity Crisis: A Key Factor In The Breakdown of Modern Marriages

    Without An Identity, There Can Be No Intimacy

    To be intimately joined to something, you first have to be separate from it.

    If your entire life has merged with your wife’s, you don’t have a clear identity.

    Having an identity is a normal part of developing from a child into an adult.

    Without an identity, nothing sets you apart from the crowd.

    In fact, identity (ego) is necessary to have a perceptive consciousness.

    Notice how a child doesn’t seem to have awareness of how they impact their surroundings.

    As a child matures, he/she develop more consciousness in tandem with having a sense of self (ego).

    Many times, it’s during this childhood-adult transition that the masculine identity crisis sets in.

    His sex drive makes him want a lover, so he tries to make himself into what he thinks women want.

    The Masculine Identity Crisis In Modern Marriages

    Every man is born with a drive to provide.

    It doesn’t have to be money.

    Time, protection, help – there are countless things men provide.

    Things men can DO are the most common (Like mowing the lawn or shoveling snow off the driveway).

    The masculine identity crisis sets in when a man thinks DOING THINGS is the only way he can provide.

    We live in a time where women can do most anything without their man’s help.

    There was no corporate ladder or city transit system 1,000 years ago.

    Back then, if you could chop firewood and fix a roof, you were her knight in shining armor.

    But many men feel lost now, feeling like their wives don’t need them to provide anything.

    This threatens his very purpose.

    Is it any wonder suicide runs 4x higher with men vs women?

    The Masculine Identity Crisis Forces Men To Find Emotional Purpose

    There was a time when your purpose was to kill a buffalo for winter.

    Why? Because your wife couldn’t.

    Feeling needed by your wife is important for men!

    We need to feel like what we provide is highly valued.

    Our modern society is set up so women can provide for themselves whatever they need.

    But one thing women will always need from men is emotional polarity.

    She won’t feel this polarity if you always try to please her, agree with her, and make her happy, hoping that will make her like you.

    This is how the masculine identity crisis is formed.

    She hates onions, so you say you don’t like them too.

    She hates a specific stereotype of men, so you hate on them too.

    Play this out over the long haul, and you lose your own identity.

    Your wife will lose her sexual desire for you.

    She needs to feel emotional polarity.

    Being her girlfriend with a beard destroys that polarity.

    Having emotional purpose means you value the emotional element you bring to the relationship.

    • Being steady and nonreactive
    • Facing uncomfortable feelings with empathy and curiosity
    • Tuning into the current moment without trying to change it

    Those are examples of having an emotional purpose that is masculine, not feminine.

    Resolving The Masculine Identity Crisis

    To attract a female, be a man!

    Hang out with men.

    Talk how men talk.

    Stop trying to “not be like those guys”.

    In fact, the more you hang out with mature men, the more you’ll act like a mature man.

    Females have a sedative effect on men.

    If you spend too much time with your partner, you’ll start acting more feminine.

    When you stop trying to provide by only DOING things, you’ll find a new identity in how you can BE while you are doing those things.

    To resolve the masculine identity crisis, start placing your sense of value into the attitude you bring, not your actions.

    Attitudes like:

    • Stabilty
    • Clarity
    • Disernment
    • Playfulness
    • Leadership

    Taking The Next Step To Feeling Like A Valuable Man

    Even if your wife is a CEO who mows her own lawn, she will never be able to channel the VIBE of masculinity day after day, year after year.

    You were built not to burn out from routine daily efforts.

    Why do you think Edison spent YEARS trying to figure out how to make a light bulb?

    Because masculine thrives on the PROCESS of exploration!

    Most ladies would have given up after the first 300 tries.

    She’s wired to love the RESULTS of exploration.

    Not you.

    You can show up steady, grounded, deliberate, and intentional again and again for your entire life, loving the process.

    You can feel the timeless value you bring to relationships when you get crystal clear on what you value and how that man behaves.

    I help men every day find their inner code to live by that feminine will always be drawn to.

  • What To Do If Your Wife Annoys You

    What To Do If Your Wife Annoys You

    Your wife annoys you by knowing how to push your buttons just right. She questions your intentions or complains when you’re doing the best you can. What if I told you this only happens when you have buttons to push? I’m going to show you how to use your triggers and buttons to be a more loving, confident man.

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    Guys: How To Spot What Needs Improvement In Your Relationship

    Listen To Your Body When Your Wife Annoys You

    A drop in your gut… 

    A tightness in your chest…

    The hair on your neck bristling…

    The unconscious husband misses these cues.

    He’s so caught up in REACTING that he doesn’t even notice his fists are clenched.

    With practice, you direct your focus to your body when your wife annoys you.

    Instead of trying to think out how to answer, you can use the cues in your body.

    A tight chest means take a deep breath.

    A clenched fist means relax your hands and shake them out.

    You see, what your wife needs most in this moment isn’t your brilliant answer or justifications.

    She needs to feel your love in ONE form: PRESENCE.

    Presence is fully tuned into what your body is doing.

    It’s fully tuned into what her body is doing.

    You’re not getting sucked into the conversation or adding to the drama.

    “But she’s making me angry!” You might say.

    Yes, when your wife annoys you, it can piss you off or make you want to retreat.

    But she’s not doing this to you; your thoughts and feelings are doing this to you.

    It’s not your wife’s job to adjust herself around YOUR triggers because they are YOURS.

    If everyone on the planet danced around the triggers of the most insecure person, it would be a race to the bottom.

    You can raise the bar.

    Feel your body, not your raging thoughts.

    Your neck might be getting tense, or your face might be getting tight.

    Relax it.

    That’s your only job.

    The Hidden Gift When Your Wife Annoys You

    The purpose of masculinity is to pioneer uncertainty… to create something new in the face of chaos. 

    A friend of mine categorized all his anxious feelings as his “frizzle”. 

    “Frizzle” always means one thing: the opportunity to create something NEW

    What did Columbus feel before sailing for the New World? Frizzle.

    Before Lewis and Clark embarked on exploring the new Far West, they felt Frizzle.

    When Neal Armstrong crawled into a rocket to pioneer the moon exploration, he experienced Frizzle. 

    Your relationship has “new” areas to penetrate with your calm, brave, courageous self-confidence.

    The hidden gift is you have no clue where you need to grow until your wife annoys you.

    NEW areas in your relationship are trying to evolve through Frizzle.

    Frizzle doesn’t inform you what needs to change in your wife.

    It informs you where a NEW frontier in your relationship is calling for your courage and presence.

    How To Be A More Secure Man

    Not sure how to be the stable masculine energy in your relationship who doesn’t need validating by outside factors? 

    I didn’t know how either.

    Then another man taught me the ropes.

    All I can say is WOW!

    There is a whole new level of relationship with your wife that you are missing out on.

    I want you to have a BETTER relationship, MORE intimacy, and STRONGER self-esteem.

    Do you want that for yourself too?