Tag: Building Emotional Connection

  • Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    When our wife emotionally and sexually withdraws, we can find ourselves in the depths of despair and heartache. We feel suffocated under the weight of painful emotions. Self-doubt gnaws at our core, eroding any remnants of confidence we once had. In the darkness of a sexless marriage, there’s a flicker of hope. Our hope to overcome this anguish is to realize we need to rebuild our shattered confidence before intimacy can return. Are you resentful that you ended up in a sexless marriage? Well, don’t blame her…Yet. Allow the story below to be your roadmap back to confidence and intimacy.

    Chris’s Sexless Marriage

    Meet Chris.

    Chris is known for his remarkable kindness and always going the extra mile to please others. 

    He has a gentle soul, and conflict is his sworn enemy. 

    He would do anything to avoid confrontation, believing that maintaining harmony in all aspects of life is paramount!

    Chris’s marriage to his wife, Sarah, started off blissfully. 

    They were deeply in love and seemed to have a fairytale relationship. 

    As time passed, Sarah began to feel a growing disconnect. 

    Chris’s unwavering niceness became suffocating, and his fear of conflict prevented open communication between them.

    Rather than leading an emotional connection with Sarah, Chris would walk on eggshells hoping to not upset her.

    In their intimate life, Chris’s insatiable sexual neediness further strained their relationship.

    He constantly sought validation and reassurance, often pressuring Sarah for physical intimacy. 

    His desperation for connection had unintentionally pushed Sarah away, and she no longer felt the same attraction she once had.

    Sarah longed for a partner who could stand up for himself, express his desires and needs, and engage in honest conversations. 

    She craved a sense of balance, where both partners were able to communicate their feelings openly, even if it meant occasional disagreements.

    Feeling the growing distance, Sarah contemplated the state of their marriage. 

    She realized that if things continued as they were, both of them would suffer. 

    Sarah knew deep down that Chris’s innate kindness was genuine, but it was overshadowed by his fear of conflict and his inability to assert himself.

    She wanted to feel attracted to Chris, but an unexplainable pressure kept her from feeling anything but disgust whenever she was around him.

    Though she hated to think of it, Sarah knew deep down the only way she could have the relationship she wanted was to leave Chris. 

    Lack of Confidence, The Cause Nice Guys Overlook

    Jump forward 24 months.

    Chris and Sarah’s marriage had only worsened. 

    Sarah had come to terms that she didn’t want to be with Chris and told him she wanted a divorce. 

    Chris was devastated. 

    Determined to change, he embarked on a journey of self-improvement.

    Chris sought mentorship to explore his own insecurities and learn healthier ways of expressing his needs

    Through self-reflection and guidance, he began to strike a balance between being kind and standing up for himself. 

    He discovered that true strength lies not in avoiding conflicts but in being unshakable in his self-esteem, boundaries, and personal values. 

    Over time, the dynamic between Chris and Sarah started to shift! 

    Their conversations became more honest and open, as they learned to communicate their desires and concerns without reacting from a place of neediness, insecurity, or fear. 

    Chris’s newfound self-assuredness and willingness to engage in constructive dialogue reignited the spark in their relationship.

    As they grew together, Chris learned the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between kindness and assertiveness. 

    He discovered that true intimacy blossoms when both partners can express their needs, engage in open dialogue, and face conflicts with love and respect.

    If Chris could summarize with one word the most basic skill he had to learn to re-gain attractiveness it would be this: CONFIDENCE

    Your Chance To Restore Intimacy

    Did the story of Chris & Sarah sound familiar brother?

    Learn the key building blocks to become an attractive, happy, CONFIDENT man who women can’t resist in the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

    Watch this video for a sneak peek into the benefits men are gaining in this course!

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    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    If you’re action-orientated, serious about making permanent changes in your mojo, relationships, sex life, and work life, (and have a sense of humor) then you should join this course.

    Visit our registration page to save your spot!

    Over the years, I’ve appreciated the research into intimacy Esther Perel has done.

    In her article, “Are Taboos Holding Your Relationship Back?” she reminds us how familiarity breeds loss of desire.

    Let this truth relax your anxious mind that when something NEW comes out of you, something NEW will come out of the relationship.

    Have A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her… Focus On Being A Man You’re Proud Of

    Your love story can take a new turn.

    Your relationship can be stronger and more passionate than ever before when you stop trying to please her and focus on rebuilding your self-confidence.

    You can learn how to give her space without losing her.

    The confidence course isn’t the only place I’m teaching men how to regain their attractive confidence while in a sexless marriage.

    In my coaching, I mentor men personally through my masculine confidence framework.

    Book a FREE Get Grounded Now consultation if you’re interested in 1:1 mentorship.

    See you on the other side brother, 

    Garrett Prettyman

  • Masculine Identity Crisis: A Key Breakdown in Modern Marriages

    Masculine Identity Crisis: A Key Breakdown in Modern Marriages

     

    This article is about a masculine identity crisis plaguing many men and why this breakdown is creating frustration in marriages.

    The struggle to feel desirable when our wife or girlfriend isn’t being affectionate can be painful.

    We tend to think, “If only she would warm up to me, everything would feel better!”

    I realize this logically makes sense.

    Heck, if we’re thirsty and someone gives us water the problem is solved.

    Or is it?In the video below, relationship coach Mark Drezga and I explain the masculine identity crisis in more detail.

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    Masculine Identity Crisis: A Key Factor In The Breakdown of Modern Marriages

    Having An Identity

    Having an identity is a normal part of developing from a child into an adult.

    Without an identity, nothing sets us apart from the crowd.

    In fact, identity, or “ego” is necessary to have a perceptive consciousness.

    Notice how a child doesn’t seem to have awareness of how they’re impacting their surroundings.

    As a child matures, he/she develops more consciousness in tandem with having a sense of self or “ego”.

    Many times it’s during this childhood-adult transition that the masculine identity crisis sets in.

    The Masculine Identity Crisis

    To be joined to something as one, you first have to be separate from it.

    There’s No..

    • love without pain
    • happiness without sadness
    • excitement without fear

    This is the world of polarity we live in.

    As a man’s sexual nature develops, it’s easy to look at women and think, “I need sex… Women can give me sex!! ..Therefore I must GET sex from a woman.”

    With this mindset, a man starts adjusting his identity to what he thinks will be more attractive to women.

    Maybe the girl he likes hates onions so he starts hating onions too.

    Maybe she speaks poorly of a specific stereotype of men so he abandons that trait in himself.

    Play this out over a long period, and the masculine identity crisis is formed.

    The man is trying to be more like her instead of letting himself be the polar opposite.

    What’s the problem with this you might ask?

    Well, it’s not just one problem, there are two problems actually…

    1. The moment a woman isn’t warm, sexual, and affectionate towards a man in a masculine identity crisis he feels massive amounts of frustration. He resents her because he feels he’s owed for all he’s sacrificed!

    2. One of the main reasons his woman isn’t feeling attracted to him is he’s too smooth, pleasing, malleable, and unclear on who he is, what he stands for, and where he’s going in life.

    Resolving The Masculine Identity Crisis

    “Opposites attract” is the golden ticket here.

    To attract a female, be a man!

    Hang out with men.

    Talk how men talk.

    Stop trying to, “not be like those guys”.

    In fact, the more you hang out with mature men, the more you’ll act like a mature man.

    Females have a sedative effect on men.

    If we spend too much time with our partner, we start acting more feminine.

    Taking The Next Step

    Sometimes we don’t have a clear sense of who we are because of an underlying insecurity.

    Other times it’s our fear of loneliness or low self-esteem that causes us to have no polarizing identity.

    This is where I come in.

    Men who go through my “Masculine Confidence Framework” learn how to have rock-solid values, firm boundaries, mojo, and a clear life direction.

    If you’re ready to make massive strikes in your confidence and maturity as a man, fill out my “Get Grounded Now” form for a free consultation.

    I tried for decades to figure this stuff out on my own.

    Nothing changed until I set aside a few years to be mentored by men with experience.

    Save yourself years of frustration and reach out.

    Be grounded brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • 2 Areas Men Overlook In Relationships

    2 Areas Men Overlook In Relationships

    I’m going to show you why wanting your wife to “get her shit together” won’t fix your marriage. If we’re honest with ourselves, the 2 areas men overlook in relationships are no surprise.  Both of these areas involve us getting out of our heads and leaning into acceptance.

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    Guys: How To Spot What Needs Improvement In Your Relationship

    Areas Men Overlook In Relationships #1

    A drop in our gut… 

    A tightness in our chest…

    The hair on our neck bristling…

    The unconscious husband misses these cues to be PRESENT and stop overthinking. 

    He sees the above feelings as “annoyances” caused by his wife. 

    Because of past experiences, we feel emotional reactions to what our wife is doing.

    It’s not other people’s job to adjust to our triggers, nor us to theirs…doing so is a race to the bottom!

    If we all dance to the beat of the most triggered, insecure person in the room, THAT person is setting the bar for how people live.


    We can raise the bar for how people live by taking responsibility for our triggers and by building a new relationship with our traumas.


    This improves our marriage because it takes the pressure off our wife to be responsible for our well-being. 


    Love sets free.


    Loves accepts others for how they are.


    If we want to receive that kind of love we need to give that kind of love.

    The purpose of masculinity is to pioneer uncertainty…To create something new in the face of chaos. 

    A friend of mine categorized all his anxious feelings as his “frizzle”. 

    “Frizzle” Always Means One Thing: The Opportunity To Create Something NEW

    What did Columbus feel before sailing for the New World? Frizzle.

    Before Lewis and Clark embarked on exploring the new far West, they felt Frizzle.

    When Neal Armstrong crawled in a rocket to pioneer the moon exploration, he experienced Frizzle. 

    Your relationship has “new” areas to penetrate with your calm, brave, courageous self-confidence.

    NEW areas in your relationship are trying to evolve through Frizzle.

    Frizzle doesn’t inform us what needs to change in our wife,  it shows us where a NEW frontier in the relationship is calling for our courage.

    Areas Men Overlook In Relationships #2

    We men tend to overlook the fact that our wife is evolving, changing, and constantly going through a metamorphosis.

    We THINK we know who we married, what our wife prefers, how she will respond, and that her wedding day promises are still how she feels today.

    This version of her only lives in our heads.

    In my blog, “Menopause: What Men Need To Know (But Nobody Is Saying)” I interviewed Men’s coach Charlie McKeever.

    Charlie shared a shocking insight: No man can escape menopause, it’s coming!

    We all agree puberty changed us into an entirely different person.

    The shift of a woman changing from being reproductive to not being reproductive is just as dynamic.

    In his book, “Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants” Elliott Katz describes how our wife will go through at least 5 different versions of herself over a lifetime.

    When we react to the version of our wife we have in our head instead of seeking to understand the REAL woman standing before us, our wife feels like we don’t value her heart.

    To maintain an intimate marriage, we need to approach our wife like we’re getting to know a new person.

    What To Do Next For Your Relationship As A Man

    Not sure how to be the stable masculine energy in your relationship who doesn’t need validating by outside factors? 

    The Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence course will teach you EXACTLY how to have internal security.

    Click HERE to save your spot. Your only regret will be that you didn’t do this 30 years ago.  


    The areas men overlook in relationships or common but not that difficult to face once we understand them.


    I’ll be glad to help you find your clarity.

    Stay grounded brother,

    Garrett Prettyman