Does an honest conversation with your wife turn into her saying, “Stop trying to fix me?” This article tells a TRUE story about how men and women interact differently with emotions. In the video below, I share how to communicate with your wife so she doesn’t feel like you’re trying to fix her.
Trying To Fix Women: A Peek Behind The Curtain
Billy enters the living room.
His wife’s face is distressed.
Grace and Billy have been married for nearly a decade, and he knows when one of her meltdowns is imminent.
Billy is a competent man.
He can fix anything to keep the household running… except for Grace when she’s this worked up.
“I feel like I have to do EVERYTHING around here,” Grace sobs.
Billy replies, “No, you don’t! When was the last time you did anything outside? I handle ALL the yardwork myself!”
Grace’s face tightens, “Why is everything always about you? A decent husband would give me some emotional support!”
“I’m not making everything about me! I’m just pointing out how you got yourself into this mess.” Billy said emphatically.
A few tears leak down Grace’s cheeks.
Billy and Grace always fall into this rut.
Grace makes illogical complaints, Billy points out why she is wrong, and then Grace makes him feel like he’s failed.
Billy knows he’s dug himself into a hole.
He tries to climb out by saying, “Why didn’t you ask for help if you felt overloaded? I would have helped. Plus, half the stuff you did could have waited!”
“Stop trying to fix me!” Grace replies.
There it was… the ONE phrase that always baffled Billy… Why on earth does she think he’s trying to “fix” her??
“I’m not trying to fix you! I’m just trying to understand,” Billy says sharply.
Grace stands up straight, wipes her tears, and walks out of the room.
Billy hears her go into their bedroom and close the door.
“Great… Now she’ll keep herself locked in our bedroom all afternoon, then give me the silent treatment when she emerges,” Billy mumbles as he throws his hands up in bewilderment.
Do You Feel Misunderstood When She Says, “Stop Trying To Fix Me”?
In the story of Billy and Grace, there’s two dynamics unfolding.
- Grace is focused on WHAT she feels.
- Billy is focused on WHY she feels it.
In a man’s world, 99% of our distress is around the “WHY”.
- WHY is the roof leaking?
- WHY is my shirt lost?
- WHY does my wife not want sex?
As a man, you have a logical, troubleshooting brain.
You intend to make things better.
This can leave you feeling misunderstood when your partner doesn’t see it that way.
That’s because she doesn’t need a solution.
In your world, if you can find the WHY, you can change the WHY, and then give a solution.
This process works great in the workplace, laboratory, and engineering department!
But when you interact with a woman, it makes her feel like you’re not seeing the whole picture.
If your wife is staying, “stop trying to fix me”, it’s best to keep your WHY questions to yourself.
Is There A Time You Should Be “Fixing” Your Wife?
Yes, there’s one time when you should “fix” your wife…When she asks you to!
I’m going to be Captain Obvious and point something out.
Trying to “fix” your wife never creates a deeper connection in the marriage.
Trying to “fix” your crumbling marriage will have the same result.
Men come to me every day wanting to “fix” their relationship.
I empower my clients with the necessary tools to overcome their OWN fears, insecurities, and emotional dependencies.
The flighty, emotional, ebb and flow of feminine is not a riddle to solve.
Your role as her man is to be the string to her kite, a man with balls.
A man with balls…
- Has nothing to prove
- Doesn’t need to be right or change how others feel for him to be okay
- Isn’t a doormat in the relationship
If you want to learn how to be the masculine leader in your relationship, then consider joining our, “Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course“
How To Lead Connection When She Says, “Stop Trying To Fix Me”
Not surprisingly, Billy and Grace ended up divorced.
This was the wake-up call Billy needed.
He dove into personal development.
He found there’s a different way to THINK about women, emotions, and feelings.
His new understanding helped him stop taking things so personally.
He learned how to BE relaxed, accepting, and empathetic towards women.
He no longer pushed for the “why” behind women’s feelings and could listen to “what” she feels instead.
Billy met a new lady and created a deep connection with her.
He opened layers of her heart she had never shared before.
How juicy is that!
His new relationship skills were not luck.
Billy deliberately learned to drop HIS discomfort, HIS confusion, and HIS tension around women’s feelings.
Perhaps you’re at the end of your rope and want to go all in on the biggest transformation of your life.
If you can relate to Billy’s story, take the next step.