I’m going to show you why it’s so dam attractive when you lead your wife without controlling her.
The core of masculine leadership is the ability to direct others by giving them choices.
The core of feminine leadership is the ability to sway or attract others through receptivity.
Society has heavily taught the mindset that men and women are equals and both sexes have the same value.
Society tells us we’re all human, and that giving attention to something unique about someone’s sex, color, or background is “racist†and therefore BAD.
That statement I just made will offend many people and push them into the streets to protest for something that nobody can even give them.. Their SELF-WORTH.
This is because somewhere along the line, we as a culture have misguided where our value lies.
Value Is Something Nobody Can Take From You Because Your Value Does Not Lie OUTSIDE You. Your value Lies INSIDE Who You’re BEING.
You see brother, When I talk about masculinity and femininity this has nothing to do with who is better, more powerful, more valuable, or equal.
When I say “masculine leadership†this in no way implies the woman is, “less thanâ€.
There are basic rules to our universe:
- What goes up must come down
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction
- What you resist will persist
- Polarity brings clarity to attractiveness
A car only needs one steering wheel to reach its destination.
When The Driver Knows Where he’s Going And Is Confident At The Wheel, Everyone On Board Can Relax And Enjoy The Ride.
You can be the feminine energy in your relationship if you want.
For some men, they feel most alive when they are the flowing, soft, receptive, nurturing partner in the relationship.
Other men feel most alive when they are clear, direct, logical, and creators of action towards definite plans and a definite purpose.
Many people try to shoot down the latter man because he makes them feel uncomfortable about their own state of inaction or their own lack of purpose.
What the clear, logical man is actually doing is providing leadership.
Masculine Leadership Creates Space For The Other To Be Feminine.
Attraction arises between masculine and feminine energy.
Here is where men shoot themselves in the foot when it comes to leadership.
We tend to copy how we saw leadership demonstrated by those around us while growing up.
It’s easy to thinkg of leadership as being “in chargeâ€.
We assume telling people what to do or what we want is leading them.
But here’s the truth. Bossing people around will manifest “you not being chosen†in your life.
Is being chosen something you have wished for brother?
Have you said: “I just want her to CHOOSE me?â€
You Lead Your Wife By Simply Presenting Your Position In The Form Of Choices.
Let’s say you and your wife are in the kitchen and she just said something rude or hurtful to you.
1. Decide your position, then decide “where to from here”?
…Let’s say you decide you want to talk about it with her.
2. Don’t explain, rather STATE how you’ve been impacted. “Dang babe, hearing that hurtâ€.
3. Give her options based on YOUR position. “Do you want to talk about it right now or later tonight?â€
By giving her options to your position, she gets to CHOOSE your position.
If you had said “Dang babe, hearing that hurt. I want to talk about this with you later tonight†She would feel PRESSURE, not FREEDOM to choose you because you are TELLING her what to do, not LEADING her to what to do.
Another example is to imagine you are at the park with your kids.
You decide it’s time to go.
LEADERSHIP would say “Almost time to go kids! Do you want to get in the car in 5 minutes or in 10 minutes?†Shouting “Get in the car kids, we’re leaving!†doesn’t allow them to CHOOSE your leadership.
Pushing people, bossing people, forcing people, is not leadership just as avoidance, beating around the bush, indirect answers, and waiting for the other to make the move is not leadership.
Even if a woman is saying with her mouth she is a “strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man to tell her what to do” she can’t help that when the man confidently takes the wheel of the car her body can relax, take a nap, and enjoy the ride.
To Lead Your Wife Without Controlling Her Is Like Driving A Car
If a car had a steering wheel for each passenger, the destination would never be reached.
Hell, if a car had no steering wheel or gps guidance system the destination would never be reached.
Your marriage is that car.
Your marriage will not work unless someone is at the wheel.
I was that man who abandoned the driver’s seat of my marriage because my wife was complaining about my “driving” (and lack of “driving”). I decided to let her have a turn rather than step up.
Letting her take the wheel put too much pressure on her to maintain safety and a definite direction.
She jumped in the next car with the next driver who came along.
Women’s brains are wired to use feelings to reach a conclusion.
Men’s brains are wired to use logic to reach a conclusion.
Nothing undermines a man’s masculinity more than when he goes against his logic by adjusting his values and life direction in an attempt to make his partner feel happy.
Be grounded in your position brother.
Lead your position by giving her clear choices and notice how THAT kind of leadership allows you to lead your wife without controlling her.
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