Here’s how to know if your marriage can be saved: If your wife has only experienced a version of you who provided for the family and wanted sex, then your marriage has hope! She hasn’t fully experienced masculine/feminine polarity with you yet. That polarity is the secret to attraction. And shoveling the sidewalk or changing oil in her car wasn’t that. This article explains 4 ways your marriage will fail without masculine/feminine polarity.
1. Without Masculine/Feminine Polarity, You Become Roommates
Regardless of your gender, you feel attraction to what polarizes you.
Opposites create polarity.
Imagine a soft, sweet, affectionate woman who smells like strawberries.
Her entire body is hairless, and she giggles in a high voice.
Sound attractive?
Opposites attract.
The idea of masculine/feminine polarity is not a new concept.
In Tony Robin’s article, “How to increase relationship polarity” he says, “When your relationship polarity becomes too similar, passion dies“.
Harmony and polarity are not the same.
Similar likes, dislikes, and perspectives is harmony.
It’s what friends do… and roommates!
Polarity is a spark.
Where there’s Polarity, there’s energy.
Polarity pulls you out of your comfort zone.
It makes you feel sexual passion.
A healthy relationship needs “spark” to fire on all cylinders.
Asking how to know if your marriage can be saved is the wrong question.
Asking how to have more masculine/feminine polarity is the right question.
2. Your Wife Cannot Relax Into Intimacy Unless She Feels Your Strong Containment
Containment is not control.
Containment is your protection.
What would you do if thugs tried to break into your house?
You would protect your family!
That’s containment on a physical level.
It’s time to learn how that looks on an emotional level.
Your wife needs to know you can protect her emotionally, even from herself.
She needs something to challenge to know where she stands.
If you react or become defensive, you’re adding to the attack, not the containment.
If you don’t handle her emotions with grace and presence, she doesn’t feel your masculine containment.
Masculine/feminine polarity is created when your steady presence with her emotions relaxes her need to hide them.
Your wife is fully capable of providing her own masculine containment.
She can put her emotions in a box and only show you the parts she thinks you can handle.
But this doesn’t feel feminine to her; it feels masculine.
Polarity is lost.
She feels like she has to be her own man to contain her emotional flow.
A woman who has become her own man will grow resentful, angry, and burned out.
Worst of all?
Here’s how you restore masculine/feminine polarity by being the masculine container:
- Stop reacting to her feelings and start responding from your values.
- Take extreme ownership of her like you would a new car (this means being interested in what’s best for her and taking action so it happens).
- Be quick to lead and to serve, but not to please (you don’t need momma to be happy for you to be happy).
- Listen to what your wife says to understand it, not to give it answers or to fix it.
Being this way grounds your relationship.
And grounding is key for masculine/feminine polarity.
3. Sexual Intimacy Needs An Initiator And A Reciever
It’s time to stop complaining that your wife never initiates sex.
Initiating is a masculine trait.
Want her to be feminine?
Be masculine by going first.
Not just in the bedroom, across the board.
A man who waits for his wife to plan the weekend, decide what’s for dinner, or figure out the holidays is not going first.
He’s being a receiver.
He’s reducing masculine/feminine polarity, and his sex life will suffer.
Both men and women can embody masculine or feminine energy.
There’s nothing wrong with switching roles sometimes.
Getting STUCK in the opposite polarity is the problem.
A man stuck in feminine energy will:
- Grow passive, indecisive, and depressed
- Feel like he’s at the mercy of those in his life
- Blame others for how he feels
- Let people walk over him
- Avoid conflict like the plague
- Hope and fantasize about sexual intimacy instead of leading it
- Assume others are responsible for dealing with inconveniences in his life
Why?
Because in his heart of hearts, he is a king.
You’re asking how to know if your marriage can be saved.
I’m asking you if your wife has experienced you as a king.
A king leads, does hard things, and takes responsibility for his actions.
A king also does what’s best even if it makes him unpopular.
Your relationship won’t survive unless someone takes charge in the realm of intimacy.
That somebody is YOU.
4. Until You Pass A Woman’s Tests, You Won’t Experience Her Full Depth Of Love
When your wife complains about the toilet seat, she doesn’t want to talk about toilet seats.
Little negs like this are how she tests to see how you handle it.
Something totally unrelated is gnawing at her, and she’s testing how you respond.
If you defend, explain, or avoid, she won’t bring up the real thing bothering her.
That’s why you need to pass these small tests by not arguing or defending.
Get curious and provide a safe space for her with your tone and presence.
The real issue eventually comes out.
A deeper layer opens, and so does her deeper love and sexual desire.
Before she can totally let go in the bedroom, she needs to test how safe you are outside the bedroom.
She feels masculine/feminine polarity when she can’t rock your boat over stupid stuff like toilet seats.
How To Know If Your Marriage Can Be Saved With Masculine/Feminine Polarity
If your wife has already experienced the best version of you and doesn’t like it, then your marriage probably can’t be saved.
But if you know you could be so much better then the past, there is hope.
I teach a highly effective process for becoming a man with polarizing masculine energy.
- You learn a new way to think about your feelings.
- You make choices from your non-negotiable values.
- You stop orbiting around her approval and start creating the life you want
- You become a man who is irresistible to women!
Since feminine is wired to be a responder, you doing this work first is very effective.
Masculine/feminine polarity is a natural occurrence.
Let’s talk about your current situation.