Masculine Confidence Framework

Tag: Intimacy Issues

Why Sexually Frustrated Men Experience Rejection More Often

Many sexually frustrated men don’t realize how they are preventing the intimacy they crave! Dive into this article or watch the video below to discover why women are drawn to confident, powerful men—not those who are sexually frustrated.

Sexually Frustrated Men Experience A Snowball Affect Of Rejection

Rejection from our wife can be frustrating, and this frustration can push her further away, creating a never-ending cycle of more rejection.

When our sexual energy is pent-up, it can feel like a problem that needs an immediate solution.

Being wildly horny in itself isn’t the problem.

How we act when we feel urgent is what turns our wife off.

Although an orgasm seems like an obvious solution, anytime we act desperate, needy, demanding, or mopey we are putting negative pressure on our wife.

Negative pressure is a HUGE libido killer for women.

Sexually frustrated men tend to use their own level of desire to determine if they should initiate intimacy.

This also leads to more rejection.

Our wife can sense if we are trying to make love because WE can’t handle our own instincts or if we are initiating because SHE is ripe for engaging it.

Acting on our feelings with no awareness of her emotional state is a guaranteed path to rejection.

She Wants Intimacy With A Man Who Holds His Power

I used to believe that my feelings were my wife’s job to take care of.

If I was hungry, she should feed me.

If I was horny, she should make love to me.

This mindset made me feel like a victim of her moods and dependent on her for my happiness.

Making others responsible for how we feel is a path to codependence, victimhood, neediness, and loss of power.

A man who takes responsibility for his own feelings talks differently.

He won’t say, “You’re making me angry” he will say, “I feel my anger”.

A man who gives his power away will say things like, “That person is making me feel disrespected”.

A man who holds his power will say, “My thoughts about that person are making me feel disrespected”.

Men who hold their power are attractive to women.

Your wife wants to sense that you can hold your emotions AND her emotions without giving your power away.

How To Stop Getting Rejected

Imagine there is a green light and a red light on every woman’s forehead.

If we try to initiate physical intimacy with our wife when the light is red, it will push her away.

My advice?

ONLY INITIATE WHEN HER LIGHT IS GREEN.

Nearly every guy I coach who is frustrated in the bedroom is initiating when she’s giving clear signals to stop.

We can’t turn her red light green by getting all cuddly and affectionate with her.

A woman’s desire for intimacy comes in seasons and she can’t just flip a switch to turn it on.

There’s no use in getting upset with her season, just like there’s no use in getting upset if it’s summer or winter.

There is an irony to this.

When we are happy, inspired, successful, and fun without her giving us sex the sooner her season changes.

If you struggle to know when her light is green, read my article “6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom“.

How To Stop Acting Like Horny, Sexually Frustrated Men

Women are not attracted to horny, sexually frustrated men but they are attracted to sexy men.

Horny men can’t handle discomfort.

Sexy men face discomfort.

Horny men act impulsively.

Sexy men act deliberately.

Many “horny” men think they need sex 3 or 5 times a day.

Here’s the truth.

When we have BETTER sex, we crave sex less.

Better sex is enthusiastic, wild, connected, and erotic.

Before we can have better sex, we first need to lead emotional intimacy with our partner.

Not taking things personally and tuning into her emotions to validate them is how she feels emotional intimacy.

In my coaching, I teach you how to THINK to feel empowered by things that used to drive you crazy.

Don’t believe this helps?

Right now, imagine biting into a freshly cut lemon… Imagine your teeth squeezing the tart juice out as it drips down your lips… Did your mouth start to water?

Your mouth is watering because of the THOUGHT you just fed in your mind.

Sexually frustrated men need to feed new thoughts!

If you want a free consultation about how to stop being a sexually frustrated man in your marriage, fill out my “Get Grounded Now“ form, and let’s talk!

Be grounded brother,

Garrett Prettyman

August 19, 2024
Why Small Dick Syndrome is Ruining Your Marriage
Small dick syndrome is the immature version of masculinity. This article provides 53 traits of a mature masculine man. The video below uses some movie scenes to provide examples. Being more masculine isn’t something we have to force. Masculinity is naturally forged in men when we choose the high road when faced with pain and when we resolve the false core beliefs we have about ourselves.

53 Traits Of A Masculine Man

A while back, a man reached out to me after watching one of my videos. He thought it was pathetic that I teach men how to be masculine but don’t include things in my videos like cars, golf or sports. There’s something this man hasn’t learned yet. Although many masculine men do things like sports, fishing, or golf, doing those things won’t make you masculine. Women have a unique gift called a 6th sense. This means she can smell “small dick” syndrome a mile away even if we’re wearing a Packers jersey in a lifted 4×4 blasting through a mud hole.

What Small Dick Syndrome Looks Like

Our cock can be the size of a baseball bat and we still can have “small dick” energy.

We’re exuding “small dick” energy where we’re…
- Easily triggered, then act on that trigger
- Always need to “be right”
- Hold other people accountable for our happiness
- Raise our voice and try to defend ourselves when questioned
- Always have an excuse for why we’re innocent
- Blame other people for our misery/lack of success
- Have to put others in their place to feel a sense of status or power
- Take other people’s actions as a personal threat
- Get jealous or take it personal when our wife finds other guys attractive (or men find her attractive)
- Resort to physical force to “make” people respect us
- Seek revenge and go tit for tat when others “do us wrong”
Small dick syndrome is hard to spot in ourselves because it FEELS like the opposite.
- We FEEL like we’re being assertive when we’re really being reactive
- We FEEL like we’re being confident when we’re really being stubborn
- We FEEL like we’re standing up for our wife when we’re really acting on jealousy or insecurity about our desirability
Needless to say, acting on feelings won’t create a strong masculine vibe.

What A Mature Masculine Man Looks Like

A mature masculine man dances to the beat of his own drum and isn’t bothered by what others say or do. He has a big grin on his face, and has bigger fish to fry than to be caught up with trivial moods or comments his wife might make. The list below is not something you need to learn. You were born with these masculine traits already hardwired to emerge as an adult. What happens is we can develop insecurities, mental narratives, and deeply held core beliefs during times of suffering that PREVENT us from choosing the high road and being the masculine man we’re naturally good at.

The 53 Traits Of A Masculine Man:
1. Clear
2. Calm
3. Direct
4. Non-reactive
5. Capable of danger, but controls it
6. Steady
7. Responds, but on his own time
8. Plays the long game
9. Is self-reliant
10. Can’t be emotionally swayed by others
11. Powerful
12. Stable
13. Discerning
14. Confident
15. Visionary
16. Wise
17. Purposeful
18. Driven
19. Physical
20. Courageous
21. Honorable
22. Decisive
23. Protective
24. Assertive
25. Focused
26. Consistent
27. Embraces Death
28. Knowledgeable
29. World-Wise
30. Mysterious
31. Intellectual
32. Truth Seeking
33. Mystic
34. Insightful
35. Detached from others’ reactions
36. Engineering
37. Sees probable outcomes
38. Vivid life force
39. Sensitive to the outside environment
40. Embodies pleasure without shame
41. Sensual
42. Compassionate
43. Empathetic
44. Creates connection
45. Reads people
46. Feel’s other’s pain
47. Sees potential
48. Lives from the heart
49. Is present
50. Trusts intention over outcome
51. Creates, invents, and innovates what he wants
52. Is on a mission
53. Isn’t urgent
Why Small Dick Syndrome Ruins Marriages

Every romantic relationship (regardless of gender) requires one person who is in the masculine spectrum and one who is in the feminine spectrum. Our wife is incapable of feeling soft, affectionate, nurturing, receptive, submissive, or sexually turned on when we step out of our masculine energy.

How You Can Resolve “Small Dick” Energy

My YouTube critic was correct. Fast cars and golf won’t be on our agenda as we develop your masculinity. When I teach you my masculine confidence framework, I help you cut the blue wire to your triggers and insecurities. I ask you questions so you can see the core beliefs that make you a slave to your emotions. I help you create a frame you would be willing to take a bullet for. Book a call using my “Get Grounded Now” form if you want to talk to me directly. I promise the call will improve your entire week.

Be grounded brother,

Garrett Prettyman
April 13, 2024
How I Gained REAL Confidence When My Wife Stopped Being Intimate

Long before a woman will get naked with us in bed she needs to feel safe to get naked with us emotionally. This article shares my own experience of losing “oblivious” confidence and then gaining REAL confidence when my wife stopped being intimate. When we’re confident from being oblivious, our wife feels emotionally unsafe which triggers her to be closed off. We can easily slip into jealousy and neediness when we feel her heart withdrawing which only pushes her further away. In the video below, masculinity coach Mark Drezga and I discuss how I was faced with a choice to mature into genuine confidence when I realized marriage is not a guarantee of intimacy.

How To Gain REAL Confidence When She Stops Being Intimate

“Oblivious” Confidence Has An Expiration Date

When I’m coaching guys around session 2 of my masculine confidence framework, there’s a hard dose of reality to swallow: The security we thought marriage gave us never existed.

If we compare marriage to a pond, and lack of intimacy to an alligator, the alligator was there the whole time.

We think pretty highly of ourselves when obliviously basking in the sun by an alligator-filled pond.

We’ll issue commands, dismiss her feelings, and insist that her hesitation to be intimate near the alligator pond is completely unreasonable

When we’re “obviously” confident, we’re not aware of the “alligators” were inviting to bite each time we lash out, “fix” or abandon our wife’s emotional world.

But hey, we didn’t know what we didn’t know…

Eventually, the clock runs out, alligators crawl out of the water, and we’re faced with reality that intimacy is gone.

When I teach guys how I gained REAL confidence when my wife stopped being intimate, I’m teaching CONSCIOUS, confidence.

Conscious, REAL Confidence Is Only Born Through Suffering

I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite (Form of Amish) church with a 0% divorce rate.

We were a private community completely separate from society.

We didn’t have TVs or radios and we were only permitted to marry within the Mennonite community.

Courtship was practiced instead of dating (think of courting akin to only dating someone you’ve already decided you will marry).

My happy, self-assured, cocky-self crumbled when I first asked a girl for courtship and she refused my offer.

This was a point where I could have developed conscious confidence, but I didn’t.

With my mojo in the toilet, I repressed into victimhood.

Needless to say, I attracted zero lovers for several years.

Eventually, I got enough spark back that it caught my future wife’s eye.

Since divorce was unheard of in ultra-conservative Mennonite churches nationwide, the thought never crossed my mind that I could be divorced.

Fast forward 10 years later.

My wife and I were no longer part of the Mennonite community.

I found myself holding divorce papers that I didn’t want to sign.

My suffering this time was rock bottom for me.

It’s only from this place of deflated ego and clarity of reality that “conscious” confidence Is born.

How I Gained REAL Confidence

The way I developed conscious, REAL confidence was by spending time around men who already had what I wanted while continuing to FACE my pain.

Every time I had a victim mindset or a resentful rant these men would challenge me, call me out on my BS, and show me the love and acceptance I had been chasing women for.

In time, I learned to face “alligators” knowing they’ve always been there.

I was ok when I obliviously faced them, and I’ll be more than okay when I consciously face them.

Having this type of relaxed, trustable confidence as a leader is the secret to making a marriage work.

At face value, the Mennonites appear to have cracked the code, but their approach brings on a whole other list of issues we’ll discuss another time.

My time as a Mennonite let me see firsthand how when a man leads with confidence, the right woman will follow, and the relationship thrives like it’s supposed to.

How You Can Stop Being Oblivious

My masculine confidence coaching program is your ticket to a better, stronger, more intimate marriage.

The value you’ll gain is a culmination of experienced men who have been in your shoes.

We men tend to hang onto the last shred of our ego before finally reaching out for help.

Don’t wait until all hope is lost to turn your marriage around by taking action for your self-development NOW.

I’m the perfect example of stubbornly holding out to save a dollar only to save nothing.

fill out my “Get Grounded Now” consultation form and I’ll help you get clear on your next step to being the great man you want to be.

Be grounded brother,

Garrett Prettyman

February 20, 2024
Why She Shamed YouÂ For Ejaculating:Â 2 Causes (Explicit)
Fair warning: I’m about to get graphic. This article is specifically for the husband whose wife has grown repulsed by him finishing during sex. I know firsthand how insecurities and triggers can be born when our spouse’s desire dims. When she shamed you for ejaculating, the most vulnerable part of who you are was denied acceptance. In the safe, private groups I mentor, many men have confessed to experiencing this painful type of rejection. I’ll share two ways women lose sexual desire so you can better understand what’s happening. I help men get a new perspective so they can confidently lead their relationships

When Your Wife Shames You For Ejaculating: 2 Causes (Explicit)

Lovers Paradise:

She lay comfortably naked on a fuzzy blanket by the fireplace.

Her skin was soft and warm from soaking in the bath…

As Sam’s hands spread lotion up her freshly shaved legs, Heather closed her eyes.

Starting at her toes and working his way up, he could feel her leg muscles relax.

Heather’s legs spread slightly more open.

Gently, he rubbed the sides of her hips, then pushed his palm from her lower tummy straight up to her chest then back down.

She arched.

Her curves partly shadowed by the flickering fire.

Sam placed his palms on either side of her belly button, holding steady pressure.

He could see she was getting wet.

Sam brushed her labia as he slid his hands back down the insides of her legs.

Suddenly, her legs wrapped around him and she pulled him in closer.

Heather’s hands started unbuttoning Sam’s pants.

She looked at him and with begging eyes pleaded “put it inside me“.

A while later, their passionate writhing had Sam cumming.

Heather used her fingers to spread his juices all over her in ecstasy.

She smiled and said “I love having you all over me”

Same Lover A Few Years Later:

Imagine the same scenario as before.

This time though, some candles are burning and soft music is playing.

After Sam massaged her muscles into jello, he touched her lips with his finger and leaned in for a kiss.

As their lips touched, tears started pouring out of Heather’s eyes and running down her cheeks. “I feel nothing,” she said, then got up and walked out of the room.

The next weekend Sam and Heather both lay in bed kissing and cuddling.

As desire grew, Sam slipped his hard manhood inside her.

They arched together.

Soon both Heather and Sam started to orgasm at the same time.

After Sam came, Heather’s face held a look of disgust.

“Now I’m going to be leaking your juices for an entire day… This is GROSS!” Heather snapped.

She rolled out of bed to shower.

When she came back, she crawled into bed facing the wall with her back to Sam and went to sleep.

This was happening more and more lately.

The month prior, Sam had pulled out and finished on her chest. She recoiled with the same tone of repulsion at that time too.

She used to love it when he orgasmed…Now she hated it.

WTF Changed?

Sam was baffled by how his wife had grown repulsed by him finishing.

Was he doing something wrong?

Why did Heather go from loving everything about his sexual nature years ago to recoiling in disgust now?

The answer is both simple and complex.

The short explanation is women’s sexuality “opens” and “closes”. (Hint: This is not because of a wrong sex position or lube)

Men’s desire for sex goes up and down depending on how long it’s been since he’s engaged in it.

There’s one constant to be relied on with men: The longer it’s been since he’s had sex, the more strongly he can feel desire.

Women are not wired this way. A “closed” Woman can go decades without desire.

When a woman is “closed” your morning wood makes you a pervert in her opinion.

If she’s “opened” she can’t keep her hands out of your pants.

When she shamed you for ejaculating, it spoke more about who SHE is than about who you are.

In her book “Open Her” Karen Brody describes 7 masculine archetypes that “open” women.

She talks about two ways women lose respect and sexual desire for a man.

Those two ways are:
1. When we have sex with her even when she’s been treating us poorly.
2. When we follow through on having sex when her body is not responding positively to our touch (obligation sex).
Let’s look at the first point: Engaging in sex when she’s treated us poorly. (And yes, shaming us for cumming is treating us poorly.)

Having sex with her when she’s been treating us badly is like rewarding a dog for shitting on the floor.

Subconsciously, our wife will think to herself, “He has no standards… why should I be anything better?”

She won’t even realize she’s thinking this, but the seed grows over time.

A man who respects himself doesn’t see sex as something he gets when he’s “lucky”.

He doesn’t see sex as a “reward” for doing what she wants around the house.

For the confident, attractive man sex is never transactional.

A man with high self-esteem sees himself as the prize.

Sex is his gift.

He is the one who takes sex off the table, not her.

There is a reversal of leadership when the woman becomes the gatekeeper of intimacy in the marriage.

This doesn’t mean we, “try to get even” by withholding sex when she’s been nasty.

It means we lovingly lead her to something besides sex when we crawl in bed that night and clearly communicate why.

Many times, this just means having an honest conversation where we do more listening than talking.

Now let’s look at the second point: Following through with sex when she’s allowing, “obligation sex”.

Let’s say you’re horny, but She’s not really in the mood.

She pulls down her panties and says, “ok do your thing“.

This is not an invitation to prove you have magical powers to turn her on.

This is a time to demonstrate your self-worth and pull those panties back up, kiss her forehead, and say, “Good night sweetie” (wink, wink).

You’re cool.

You’re non-needy.

You don’t settle for less than the best.

Until a man can show this self-value for himself, SHE won’t be able to feel respect for him.

The Bigger Issues At Play When She Shamed You For Ejaculating

Your wife is always going to push you to your edge of personal growth through challenge.

Few of us would be looking to address our own insecurities or low self-worth if women were perfect angels who blindly coddled and gave us blow-jobs constantly.

Everyone feels like a king when between the legs of a horny women.

But the king is made on the battlefield, not in the bedroom.

When she shames us for ejaculating, it’s calling us to know our boundaries and trust our inherent worth as a man. Rejection means nothing about you, it’s an expression of how SHE feels.

This raises a question we must personally answer: WHY are we giving our gifts to someone who doesn’t want them?

The key to knowing what to do next will be found in exploring that “why”.

How To Grow Your Balls Back After She Shamed You For Ejaculating

Has your partner brought you to the end of your wits? Good. You’re in the battlefield where kings are made. I help men in the battlefield become kings every day. If you’re ready to address the deeper issues that were going on when she shamed you for ejaculating, then let’s talk. Fill out my “Get Grounded Now” form to schedule a FREE 60-minute consultation. You’ll be glad you did. That’s a promise

Stay strong brother,

Garrett Prettyman
January 30, 2024