Masculine Confidence Framework

Tag: Intimacy Issues

How To Never Be Rejected For Sex Again

Many men are rejected for sex without realizing how they are preventing the intimacy they crave. Dive into this article or watch the video below to discover why women are drawn to men who can face rejection with confidence.

Men Who Act Frustrated When Rejected For Sex Experience A Snowball Effect of Rejection

Rejection by your wife can be frustrating.

This frustration can push her further away, creating a never-ending cycle of more rejection.

When our sexual energy is pent-up, it can feel like a problem that needs an immediate solution.

Being wildly horny in itself isn’t the problem.

How we act when we feel urgent is what turns your wife off.

Although an orgasm seems like an obvious solution, anytime you act desperate, needy, demanding, or mopey, you are putting negative pressure on your wife.

Negative pressure is a HUGE libido killer for women.

Sexually frustrated men tend to use their own level of desire to determine if they should initiate intimacy.

This also leads to more rejection.

Our wife can sense if we are trying to make love because WE can’t handle our own instincts, or if we are initiating because SHE is ripe for engaging it.

Acting on our feelings with no awareness of her emotional state is a guaranteed path to rejection.

She Wants Intimacy With A Man Who Holds His Agency

I used to believe that my feelings were my wife’s job to take care of.

If I was hungry, she should feed me.

If I was horny, she should make love to me.

This mindset made me feel like a victim of her moods and dependent on her for my happiness.

Making others responsible for how we feel is a path to codependency, victimhood, and a sense of neediness.

A man who takes responsibility for his own feelings talks differently.

He won’t say, “You’re making me angry,” he will say, “I feel my anger”.

A man who plays the victim will say things like, “That person is making me feel disrespected”.

A man who owns his agency will say, “My thoughts about that person are making me feel disrespected”.

Men who hold their agency are attractive to women.

Your wife wants to feel that you can hold your emotions AND her emotions without losing your agency.

How To Stop Getting Rejected For Sex

Imagine there is a green light and a red light on every woman’s forehead.

If you try to initiate physical intimacy with your wife when the light is red, it will push her away.

My advice?

ONLY INITIATE WHEN HER LIGHT IS GREEN.

Nearly every guy I coach who is frustrated in the bedroom is initiating when she’s giving clear signals to stop.

We can’t turn her red light green by getting all cuddly and affectionate with her.

A woman’s desire for intimacy comes in seasons, and she can’t just flip a switch to turn it on.

There’s no use in getting upset with her season, just like there’s no use in getting upset if it’s summer or winter.

There is an irony to this.

When we are happy, inspired, successful, and fun without her giving us sex, the sooner her season changes.

If you struggle to know when her light is green, read my article “6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom“.

How To Stop Acting Like A Sexually Frustrated Man

Women are not attracted to horny, sexually frustrated men.

But they are attracted to sexy men!

So what’s the difference?

Horny, sexually frustrated men can’t handle discomfort.

Sexy men face discomfort.

Horny, sexually frustrated men act impulsively.

Sexy men act deliberately.

Many horny, sexually frustrated men think they need sex 3 or 5 times a day.

Here’s the truth.

When you have BETTER sex, you’ll crave sex less.

Better sex is enthusiastic, wild, connected, and erotic.

Before we can have better sex, we first need to build emotional intimacy with our partner.

Not taking things personally and tuning into her emotions to validate them is how she feels emotional intimacy.

In my coaching, I teach you how to THINK to feel empowered by things that used to drive you crazy.

Don’t believe this helps?

Right now, imagine biting into a freshly cut lemon… Imagine your teeth squeezing the tart juice out as it drips down your lips… Did your mouth start to water?

Your mouth is watering because of the THOUGHT you just fed in your mind.

Sexually frustrated men need to feed new thoughts!

I’ll show you how.

August 19, 2024
53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity Your Wife Secretly Craves
This article provides 53 traits of mature masculinity. The video below uses some movie scenes as examples. Being more masculine isn’t something you have to force. Masculinity is natural when you stop trying to make yourself different or better than other men and embrace the polar opposite of femininity.

53 Traits Of A Masculine Man

The other day, a man reached out to me after watching one of my videos.

He thought it was pathetic that I teach men how to be masculine, but don’t include things in my videos like cars, golf, or sports.

There’s something this man hasn’t learned yet.

Although many masculine men do things like sports, fishing, or golf, doing those things won’t make you masculine.

Women have a unique gift called a 6th sense.

This means she can smell your intentions a mile away, even if you’re wearing a Packers jersey in a lifted 4×4 blasting through a mud hole.

She can smell if you need her validation, if you’re jealous, insecure, or desperate.

Deep down, your wife wants a man.

Not a needy boy.

Not a conflict adverse people pleaser… A MAN.

Your Wife Knows If You’re Trying To Overcompensate

Your woody can be the size of a baseball bat, and you can still have “small dick” energy.

That’s because your wife doesn’t look at your body to know if you’re masculine; she looks at your emotional world.

These 11 behaviors instantly tell your wife you’re not a secure, masculine man.
1. Being easily triggered, then acting on that trigger
2. Always need to be right
3. Holding other people accountable for your happiness
4. Raising your voice and trying to defend yourself when questioned
5. Always having an excuse for why you’re innocent
6. Blaming other people for your misery/lack of success
7. Having to put others in their place to feel a sense of status or power
8. Taking other people’s actions as a personal threat
9. Getting jealous or taking it personally when your wife finds other guys attractive (or men find her attractive)
10. Resorting to physical force to “make” people respect you
11. Seeking revenge and going tit for tat when others “do us wrong”
These behaviours tell your wife that deep down there’s a lack of self-trust, inner security, and self-esteem.

She can sense that your feelings control you.

Being controlled by feelings is feminine.

For her to feel romantic and sexual attraction for you, you need to have a mature relationship with feelings.

How Mature Masculinity Handles Feelings

Maybe your dad used to blow up.

He’d yell at your mom.

Hit the kids.

Throw and break stuff.

Part of you decided long ago, “I’ll never be like him.”

So you stomach your anger.

You play it nice.

Never rock boats.

But guess what?

You’ve become your father.

Even though you’re not breaking things around the house, you’re breaking your own feelings.

You see masculinity as toxic and try to dissociate yourself from other men.

You thought a girl would LOVE to be with a man who wasn’t like “those other ass holes”.

Now your sex life sucks, and you’re chasing your wife for affection.

She’s not wired to feel attraction to the version of masculinity you’ve conjured up.

You don’t need to start yelling like your dad, but you do need to stop avoiding feelings.

The difference your dad never learned is that you are not going to use your feelings as instructions.

Your values are the only thing you look to when deciding how you will behave.

That’s what mature masculinity looks like.

You can have feelings and just be with them without trying to avoid, dismiss, or stuff them down.

Until you can do this with yourself, you won’t be able to do this with your wife’s feelings.

Your wife craves a man who can be with her feelings and not try to fix or change them.

The 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity
1. Clear
2. Calm
3. Direct
4. Non-reactive
5. Capable of danger, but controls it
6. Steady
7. Responds, but on his own time
8. Plays the long game
9. Is self-reliant
10. Can’t be emotionally swayed by others
11. Powerful
12. Stable
13. Discerning
14. Confident
15. Visionary
16. Wise
17. Purposeful
18. Driven
19. Physical
20. Courageous
21. Honorable
22. Decisive
23. Protective
24. Assertive
25. Focused
26. Consistent
27. Embraces Death
28. Knowledgeable
29. World-Wise
30. Mysterious
31. Intellectual
32. Truth Seeking
33. Mystic
34. Insightful
35. Detached from others’ reactions
36. Engineering
37. Sees probable outcomes
38. Vivid life force
39. Sensitive to the outside environment
40. Embodies pleasure without shame
41. Sensual
42. Compassionate
43. Empathetic
44. Creates connection
45. Reads people
46. Feel’s other’s pain
47. Sees potential
48. Lives from the heart
49. Is present
50. Trusts intention over outcome
51. Creates, invents, and innovates what he wants
52. Is on a mission
53. Isn’t urgent
Why Mature Masculinity Can Save Your Marriage

Marriages are not saved by jumping through hoops until she likes you again.

Every romantic relationship (regardless of gender) requires one person who is in the masculine spectrum and one who is in the feminine spectrum.

Your wife is incapable of feeling soft, affectionate, nurturing, receptive, submissive, or sexually turned on unless you are behaving as a mature, masculine man.

Once you are that man, relax and let the law of attraction do all the work.

How You Can Gain The 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity

My YouTube critic was correct.

Fast cars and golf won’t be on our agenda as we develop your masculinity.

When I teach you my masculine confidence framework, I help you cut the blue wire to your triggers and insecurities.

I ask you questions so you can see the core beliefs that make you a slave to your emotions.

I help you create a frame built from values that you would take a bullet for.
April 13, 2024
How To Respond When Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex
The rejection you feel when your wife doesn’t want sex can cut deep.

It’s confusing, even painful, to wonder why the woman you love doesn’t seem to want your affection anymore.

She’ll say things like, “Is sex all you think about?” if you try to push past her objections.

The truth is, long before your wife feels safe to get naked with you physically, she needs to feel safe getting naked with you emotionally.

In this article, I share how I had to find my inner confidence and stop taking my wife’s rejections personally.

Masculinity coach Mark Drezga and I dive deeper in this video so you know how to respond when your wife doesn’t want sex.

How To Gain REAL Confidence When She Stops Being Intimate

Build Your Confidence When Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

When your wife doesn’t want sex, ANY response made from desperation or insecurity will prevent her from wanting sex with you.

She’s just not drawn to guys who react to her because they feel hurt.

It’s around session 2 of my masculine confidence framework when my clients have a hard dose of reality to swallow: For years, they’ve been taking sex in their marriage for granted.

If you compare marriage to a pond, and lack of intimacy to an alligator, the alligator has been there the whole time.

This means your marriage could have gone sexless ages ago.

You’ve been obliviously basking in the sun by an alligator-filled pond each time you had sex.

You behaved in ways that could trigger those alligators, and didn’t even know it.

How do the alligators come alive?
- By explaining her feelings away
- Ranting about your day without asking about hers
- Expecting her to think like you do
- Having an attitude you would never show to your friends or coworkers
- Always having an explanation for why something is not your fault
Once the alligators come out, sex is off the table.

Can you blame her?

Can you get turned on while swimming through alligator-infested waters?

But hey, you didn’t know better.

Alligator ignorance is bliss.

I call this having “oblivious” confidence.

When you’re “obviously” confident, you didn’t know you were feeding the alligators every time you complained or ignored your wife’s feelings.

You didn’t know it made her feel unsafe to be around you.

Now that your wife doesn’t want sex, you’re seeing reality for the first time.

When I teach guys how I gained confidence when my wife stopped being intimate, I’m teaching CONSCIOUS confidence.

A conscious man is fully aware of what he stands to lose, but stays present and steady.

He doesn’t fall apart when he realizes he’s been feeding alligators that make her feel unsafe.

There is a level of ACCEPTANCE he has for where she is without taking it personally.

Conscious Confidence Is Only Born Through Suffering

I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite (Form of Amish) church with a 0% divorce rate.

We were a private community completely separate from society.

We didn’t have TVs or radios, and we were only permitted to marry within the Mennonite community.

Courtship was practiced instead of dating (think of courting akin to only dating someone you’ve already decided you will marry).

My happy, self-assured, cocky-self crumbled when I first asked a girl for courtship and she refused my offer.

This was a point where I could have developed conscious confidence, but I didn’t.

With my mojo in the toilet, I fell into victimhood.

Needless to say, I attracted zero lovers for several years.

Eventually, I got enough spark back that it caught my future wife’s eye.

Since divorce was unheard of in ultra-conservative Mennonite churches nationwide, the thought never crossed my mind that I could be divorced.

Fast forward 10 years.

My wife and I were no longer part of the Mennonite community.

I found myself holding divorce papers that I didn’t want to sign.

My suffering this time was rock bottom for me.

It’s only from this place of deflated ego that “conscious” confidence is born.

Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex, She Wants Leadership

My time as a Mennonite let me see firsthand how when a man leads with confidence, the right woman will follow, and the relationship thrives like it’s supposed to.

When you stop reacting to your wife and start RESPONDING with leadership, something awakens in her.

It’s what you feel when she puts on that cute red dress.

My masculine confidence coaching program is your ticket to a better, stronger, more intimate marriage.

It’s a culmination of experienced men who have been in your shoes.

We men tend to hang onto the last shred of our ego before finally reaching out for help.

Don’t wait until all hope is lost to turn your marriage around.

Take action for your self-development NOW.

Stubbornly holding out to save a dollar saves nothing (ask me how I know).
February 20, 2024
Why Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex
Discussing why your wife acts grossed out during sex is a vulnerable, sensitive topic. I’m going to get graphic! This article is specifically for the husband whose wife has grown repulsed by him finishing during sex. No man wants to make his wife feel repulsed by him. I know firsthand what it’s like. Feeling isolated. Feeling like there’s something bad or wrong with you. Let me help you see things differently so you know what to do about it.

When Your Wife Shames You For Ejaculating: 2 Causes (Explicit)

Sam Used To Be In “Lover’s Paradise”

Sam’s wife, Heather, lay comfortably naked on a fuzzy blanket by the fireplace.

Her skin was soft and warm from soaking in the bath.

As Sam’s hands spread lotion up her freshly shaved legs, her her eyes closed.

Starting at her toes and working his way up, he could feel her relax.

Heather’s legs spread open.

Gently, he rubbed the sides of her hips, then pushed his palm from her lower tummy straight up to her chest, then back down.

She arched.

Her curves shadowed by the flickering fire.

Sam placed his palms on either side of her belly button, holding steady pressure.

He could see she was getting wet.

Sam brushed her labia as he slid his hands back down the insides of her legs.

Suddenly, her legs wrapped around him, and she pulled him in closer.

Heather’s hands unbuttoned Sam’s pants.

She looked at him with begging eyes and pleaded, “I want to feel you inside me”.

A while later, their passionate writhing had Sam cumming.

“Yes! Yes!” Heather moaned.

“I want all of you, every inch!”

Heather used her fingers to spread his juices all over herself in ecstasy.

She smiled and said, “I love having you all over me.”

Now, Sam’s Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex

Imagine the same scenario as before.

But now candles are burning, and soft music is playing.

Sam massages his wife’s muscles into jello.

He touches her lips with his finger and leans in for a kiss.

As their lips touch, tears run down Heather’s cheeks.

“I feel nothing,” she said, then got up and walked out of the room.

The next weekend, Sam and Heather were at it again.

They both lay in bed kissing and cuddling.

As desire grew, Sam slipped his hard manhood inside her.

They arched together.

Soon, both Heather and Sam climaxed together.

After Sam came, Heather’s face held a look of disgust.

“I’ll be leaking your juices for the rest of the day… This is GROSS!” she snapped.

Heather rolled out of bed to shower.

When she came back, she crawled into bed facing the wall with her back to Sam and went to sleep.

This was happening more and more lately.

The month prior, Sam had pulled out and finished on her chest.

She had the same reaction then.

Why was his wife so grossed out during sex?

She used to LOVE him finishing on her.

What changed?

Was he doing something wrong?

The answer is both simple and complex.

Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex Because She’s Not Turned On

Women’s sexuality “opens” and “closes” (This is not because of a wrong sex position or lube).

This is the simple thing to understand.

Men’s desire for sex goes up and down depending on sexual frequency.

There’s one constant to be relied on with men: The longer it’s been since he’s had sex, the more strongly he can feel desire.

Women are not wired this way. A “closed” Woman can go decades without desire.

When a woman is “closed,” your morning wood makes you a pervert in her opinion.

If she’s “opened,” she can’t keep her hands out of your pants.

If your wife used to love when you finished (and now hates it), it’s a window into where SHE is.

This is where it gets a little more complex.

Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex When She’s “Closed”

In her book, “Open Her,” Karen Brody describes 7 masculine archetypes that “open” women.

She talks about two ways women lose respect and sexual desire for a man.

These two ways are:
1. Going for sex after your wife hasn’t been treating you well.
2. Proceeding with sex when the first initial touch or kiss was obviously not well received by her.
If you go for sex after your wife mistreats you, it shows low self-worth.

See yourself as the prize.

Don’t give yourself to her when she’s been nasty to you.

If you do, she’ll grow to resent your touch.

She’ll think to herself, “He has no standards… why should I even give effort to be a better wife?”

When your wife acts grossed out during sex, it’s because you missed the early signals that said STOP.

Did she wince when you put your hand on her arm?

Did she turn her face when you went in for the kiss?

Was she complaining about a headache?

These are all signs she is NOT in the mood.

See how your wife acts grossed out during sex because she wasn’t desiring it in the first place?

For guys, we get turned on by doing sexual stuff.

Your wife doesn’t have this ability.

She has to be turned on FIRST.

For the confident, attractive man, sex is never transactional.

A man with high self-esteem takes sex off the table when his standards for engagement are not met.

Sex is his awesome gift.

He only gives it at the right time.

But most men are looking at this backwards.

They think SHE is the one rejecting him from good, intimate sex.

Thinking this way is a reversal of leadership.

YOU are the gatekeeper of intimacy.

YOU take sex off the table when your wife acts grossed out during sex.

Not to be mean, but to show you won’t settle for less than the best.

It also means you lovingly lead her to something besides sex when she’s not in the mood.

Something you both can still enjoy.

A conversation.

An adventure.

Maybe just listening.

Until a man can show this self-value for himself, SHE won’t be able to feel respect for him.

And women don’t sexually desire men they don’t respect.

Your Wife Is Helping You Connect To The Present Moment

When a man’s sex drive is full throttle, it’s easy for his mind to be in la-la land.

Presence is the opposite.

And without presence, your wife will feel like a used blowup doll.

How your wife responds to you is calling you to tune into the NOW.

She’s challenging you to the edge of your personal growth.

What are your boundaries?

How much do you value yourself?

When your wife acts grossed out during sex, how will you respond?

You won’t know where you stand on these things until you’re challenged by feminine.

Going at it like rabbits isn’t growth at all.

When she shames you for ejaculating, it’s calling on your leadership, sense of worth, and boundaries.

Let’s Get Your Bedroom Steamy Again

Has your partner brought you to the end of your wits?

Good.

You’re in the battlefield where kings are made.

I help men in the battlefield become kings every day.

If you’re ready to address the deeper issues in yourself, the ones keeping your marriage sexless and cold, reach out.
January 30, 2024