This article provides 53 traits of mature masculinity. The video below uses some movie scenes as examples. Being more masculine isn’t something you have to force. Masculinity is natural when you stop trying to make yourself different or better than other men and embrace the polar opposite of femininity.
The other day, a man reached out to me after watching one of my videos.
He thought it was pathetic that I teach men how to be masculine, but don’t include things in my videos like cars, golf, or sports.
There’s something this man hasn’t learned yet.
Although many masculine men do things like sports, fishing, or golf, doing those things won’t make you masculine.
Women have a unique gift called a 6th sense.
This means she can smell your intentions a mile away, even if you’re wearing a Packers jersey in a lifted 4×4 blasting through a mud hole.
She can smell if you need her validation, if you’re jealous, insecure, or desperate.
Deep down, your wife wants a man.
Not a needy boy.
Not a conflict adverse people pleaser… A MAN.
You’re Wife Knows If You’re Trying To Over Compensate
Your woody can be the size of a baseball bat, and you can still have “small dick” energy.
That’s because your wife doesn’t look at your body to know if you’re masculine; she looks at your emotional world.
These 11 behaviors instantly tell your wife you’re not a secure, masculine man.
- Being easily triggered, then acting on that trigger
- Always need to be right
- Holding other people accountable for your happiness
- Raising your voice and trying to defend yourself when questioned
- Always having an excuse for why you’re innocent
- Blaming other people for your misery/lack of success
- Having to put others in their place to feel a sense of status or power
- Taking other people’s actions as a personal threat
- Getting jealous or taking it personally when your wife finds other guys attractive (or men find her attractive)
- Resorting to physical force to “make” people respect you
- Seeking revenge and going tit for tat when others “do us wrong”
These behaviours tell your wife that deep down there’s a lack of self-trust, inner security, and self-esteem.
She can sense that your feelings control you.
Being controlled by feelings is feminine.
For her to feel romantic and sexual attraction for you, you need to have a mature relationship with feelings.
How Mature Masculinity Handles Feelings
Maybe your dad used to blow up.
He’d yell at your mom.
Hit the kids.
Throw and break stuff.
Part of you decided long ago, “I’ll never be like him”.
So you stomach your anger.
You play it nice.
Never rock boats.
But guess what?
You’ve become your father.
Even though you’re not breaking things around the house, you’re breaking your own feelings.
You see masculinity as toxic and try to dissociate yourself from other men.
You thought a girl would LOVE to be with a man who wasn’t like “those other ass holes”.
Now you’re sex life sucks, and you’re chasing your wife for affection.
She’s not wired to feel attraction to the version of masculinity you’ve conjured up.
You don’t need to start yelling like your dad, but you do need to stop avoiding feelings.
The difference your dad never learned is that you are not going to use your feelings as instructions.
Your values are the only thing you look to when deciding how you will behave.
That’s what mature masculinity looks like.
You can have feelings and just be with them without trying to avoid, dismiss, or stuff them down.
Until you can do this with yourself, you won’t be able to do this with your wife’s feelings.
Your wife craves a man who can be with her feelings and not try to fix or change them.
The 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity
- Clear
- Calm
- Direct
- Non-reactive
- Capable of danger, but controls it
- Steady
- Responds, but on his own time
- Plays the long game
- Is self-reliant
- Can’t be emotionally swayed by others
- Powerful
- Stable
- Discerning
- Confident
- Visionary
- Wise
- Purposeful
- Driven
- Physical
- Courageous
- Honorable
- Decisive
- Protective
- Assertive
- Focused
- Consistent
- Embraces Death
- Knowledgeable
- World-Wise
- Mysterious
- Intellectual
- Truth Seeking
- Mystic
- Insightful
- Detached from others’ reactions
- Engineering
- Sees probable outcomes
- Vivid life force
- Sensitive to the outside environment
- Embodies pleasure without shame
- Sensual
- Compassionate
- Empathetic
- Creates connection
- Reads people
- Feel’s other’s pain
- Sees potential
- Lives from the heart
- Is present
- Trusts intention over outcome
- Creates, invents, and innovates what he wants
- Is on a mission
- Isn’t urgent
Why Mature Masculinity Can Save Your Marriage
Marriages are not saved by jumping through hoops until she likes you again.
Every romantic relationship (regardless of gender) requires one person who is in the masculine spectrum and one who is in the feminine spectrum.
Your wife is incapable of feeling soft, affectionate, nurturing, receptive, submissive, or sexually turned on unless you are behaving as a mature, masculine man.
Once you are that man, relax and let the law of attraction do all the work.
How You Can Gain The 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity
My YouTube critic was correct.
Fast cars and golf won’t be on our agenda as we develop your masculinity.
When I teach you my masculine confidence framework, I help you cut the blue wire to your triggers and insecurities.
I ask you questions so you can see the core beliefs that make you a slave to your emotions.
I help you create a frame built from values that you would take a bullet for.