Let’s talk about taking charge of love and romance in your marriage. I’ll help you see how restoring intimacy is a game of inches in a long-term relationship.
The Steps Towards Romance
A quick fix.
A magic pill.
That’s what we men like.
While dating, your partner was probably down for a quickie at the drop of a hat.
Those were good times!
But that’s history.
Leading love and romance back into a marriage of 18+ years won’t happen overnight.
This, my friend, is a game of inches.
Stop Killing Intimacy & Romance
Your wife’s affection, desire, and intimacy are fragile and delicate.
This does not mean you need to tiptoe around her feelings to, “get lucky”.
She needs you to meet her where she is and be content with that.
Besides, I don’t believe in luck- I create opportunity.
Her erotic desire shatters if we go for sex when she isn’t turned on.
The game of inches to achieve intimacy in a long-term relationship has many small steps we men tend to jump past.
Let’s say your wife is in a bad mood.
Moods are one of the inches toward intimacy, the start of a romance.
And what do we men tend to do?
We rush PAST the mood to something more physical (like cuddling)…And then get rejected!
We killed the intimacy.
Women crave a man who goes for what he wants, but she needs you to meet her where she is before hitting the gas pedal.
How Many Inches Does It Take To Reach Intimacy?
Some have said there are 12 steps towards intmacy.
I’ve outlined 6 before.
But size doesn’t matter.
If you have a whopping 45 minutes to listen to me babble about taking charge of love and romance in your marriage, check out the video below.
In the video, I give you a list of ways to tell when you should take the lead and go for sex.
For those on a time budget, I’ll cut to the chase.
Forget how many steps or inches there are between your chest and hers.
Keeping score will keep you frustrated.
What you can do right now is STOP letting your horniness be the deciding factor for when you initiate sex.
Next, you can focus on understanding where SHE is right now and simply connect with her THERE.
Your relaxed presence and listening ear will move her one inch closer to intimacy at a pace that’s correct for her.
Sometimes it will be as fast as a few minutes.
Other times, it will be as slow as a few months.
If you’re watching the clock, your vibe of frustration and urgency will keep her at arm’s length indefinitely.
Just look at nature.
When the doe isn’t in heat, the buck is wasting his time trying to get her in the mood.
Graze in the pasture with her.
Jump in front of headlights.
Do epic, fun deer shit.
The breedin’ will happen when it’s breedin’ time.
Can’t I At Least Get A Hug Until Then?
Your wife will wrap her arm around you without thinking when she feels accepted by you.
Unlike deer, women don’t have to wait once a year to feel frisky.
She’s multi-orgasmic and capable of enough intimacy to make us beg for mercy.
She just needs to experience you as a secure man, so she can experience herself as a girl who wants that man.
Stuffing your feelings down doesn’t make you a man.
Neither does watching football, driving a Lambo, or arguing your logic to her.
Being a man means you are clear, focused, deliberate, and intentional.
You don’t need to be right or prove your worth.
You hold your head high and don’t let your feelings control your behaviors.
A man takes action.
He goes first.
He’s a leader and a shield to those who are vulnerable.
The true mark of a mature man is when you understand that all your fear, lack of confidence, urgency, and desperation come from your perspectives, not reality.
As far as intimacy goes, focus on being a mature man and let nature take its course.
If you want help in developing your masculine core, book a free “Get Grounded Now” call.
We’ll have a straightforward talk about my masculine confidence framework.
This process has helped countless men, and it might be just what you need to stop killing romance in your marriage.
Stay grounded brother,
Garrett Prettyman