I was blessed to meet a man a few weeks ago who was a husband who died happy. His passing came as a shock. Neither of us had any clue his end was so near. When grieving the loss of something you love, it can feel like there’s only one cure: get back what you lost! Especially when it comes to relationships, we can get fixated on what seems like it would take our pain away. Let’s look at some key mindsets this man lived by to maintain happiness right to the end.
Life Is About Endings
Every relationship, house, car, pet, experience, and person in our lives has an expiration date.
The catch is, we don’t know the dates when these things will expire.
Sometimes these expirations come from death, sometimes it’s the natural progression of what we loved moving along.
A few weeks ago, I met a man who was keenly aware of his mortality.
Rather than being urgent and complaining, though, he had a presence about him that stood out.
This man savored each moment!
He genuinely wanted to enjoy whatever unfolded wherever he was.
I noticed he looked forward to what was next.
His zeal for life was largely due to a scuba diving accident he survived a few years ago.
He had drowned and was resuscitated back to life!
The underwater accident left him with a renewed appreciation for living.
Being A Man Who Enjoys The Now
My evening with my new friend progressed into a steak dinner he had prepared.
Soon, he brought out an old bottle of wine.
“This is the last bottle of my favorite wine!” He said as he pulled the cork.
He went on to say, “The vineyard discontinued this line, so I can’t get any more.”
I challenged his choice.
“Are you sure you want to open it up right now??” I replied, feeling a bit of shame for partaking in something so scarce.
“Now’s a great time,” he laughed as he filled my glass.
We continued to talk about mountains, trucks, snow plows, and travel.
An hour earlier, we had been total strangers.
I was surprised at how many similarities we had!
We talked about the experiences we wanted to create this summer.
His next experience was to go to Mexico and escape the snow for a few weeks.
Dinner ended, and we parted ways.
I just discovered he did go to Mexico and died in his sleep while there.
He was a fireman, an outdoorsman, a traveler, and a husband who died happy.
I wanted to share his story to pay him respect.
The Mindset Of A Husband Who Died Happy
In three generations, nobody will know your name.
Nobody will know what others thought of you.
Nobody will care how scared you were or how safe you played life.
It all ends.
So why do you (and I) care so much now??
That’s the challenge…
To have a mindset of self-trust and live life on our terms, no matter what others think of us.
I’ll never forget the shift in my thinking after reading the article, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” By New York Times best seller, Mark Manson.
The picture towards the top of his article shows a guy floating away on balloons in the face of onlookers.
The caption says, “Everyone Just Wants To Be Liked And Accepted… Except for Tim…Tim Doesn’t Give A F*ck.”
My friend was a husband who died happy, even though his wife wasn’t perfect.
She had moods, doubts, and would neg.
But he didn’t give a f*ck.
Two Distinct Traits Of A Husband Who Died Happy
1. He showed up to each daily experience like it was his last, seeing himself as fortunate since he had woken up that day!
2. He looked forward. This man spoke like he had 30 more years to go! He talked about property he would buy, trails he would explore, and places he would see.
Right now, you’re creating tomorrow’s memories.
Letting go of what’s ended is necessary to keep creating happiness right to the end.
This means no longer chasing your walkway wife or trying to force connection when it isn’t wanted.
You’re only on this blob of dirt for a few years, and then you’re gone.
Nobody owes you anything (not even your wife!).
A life of regret or happiness isn’t created by what others are doing, it’s created by how you decide to respond.
Take that trip.
Speak your truth.
Love those you love.
Be who you would be if this were your last day to live.
How To Change Your Thinking So You Can Be A Husband Who Dies Happy
In my coaching, I take guys through a transformation to confidence.
Emerging from my Masculine Confidence Framework, you become ok when relationships expire and seasons in life change.
The man I met was a husband who died happy in spite of hardship.
He could simply enjoy the moment.
That’s what I want for you.