Boundaries.
It’s a buzzword.
A go-to fix-it line from well-meaning friends.
“Boundaries, girl! Don’t let David’s mom control you like that!” Alesha’s friend declares over coffee.
Meanwhile, David’s mother is setting her own boundaries for Alesha… and David? He’s contemplating boundaries just to keep them both from strangling each other.
This isn’t boundaries, it’s a mess.
I’m going to teach you a simple, no-BS approach to boundaries.
One that actually works.
I explain more about boundaries in the 15-minute video below, which includes an invitation to join The Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.
What Bad Boundaries Look Like
Most people are doing boundaries wrong.
They think boundaries are about forcing other people to stop annoying them.
That’s because 95% of people aren’t fully conscious.
They think their feelings are caused by other people—so they believe setting a boundary will magically make them feel better.
That’s like trying to drive the road down the car instead of driving the car down the road.
Your feelings don’t come from other people.
They come from YOU.
YOUR triggers.
YOUR perceptions.
Your brain interprets the world through YOUR five senses (which, by the way, are highly unreliable).
Think of boundaries like a fence.
If you use boundaries to fence your bad feelings, you’re just letting those negative feelings run your life.
And that’s a losing game.
What Good Boundaries Look Like
A good boundary protects something you value.
That’s the key—it’s positive.
Your phone dies if you never charge it, right?
You’re no different.
When you get crystal clear on what keeps you strong, draw a line in the sand so you don’t exhaust it.
No more over-giving. No more over-accommodating. No more over-serving.
That’s a good boundary.
So what fuels you?
- Time in nature?
- Meaningful conversation?
- A night with the boys?
- Intimacy with your wife?
Protect those things with a boundary, brother.
Protect both how you receive it and how much you give.
We all have behaviors that make us proud of who we are—that light us up so we feel self-respect.
Don’t bend on them.
A boundary around respect means nobody can push you into acting disrespectfully.
A boundary around love means nobody can push you into acting unloving.
If you want strong boundaries with your wife, dig your heels in and hold the line on these things.
If you don’t like how she’s acting?
Don’t join her—step back.
That’s your boundary because you know what you value.
That’s you drawing a line in the sand for anything less than that.
Boundaries Are for BIG Things
Moods? Petty frustrations? Minor annoyances?
They don’t need to have boundaries enforced on them.
Boundaries are for the BIG things.
DEALBREAKERS.
The experiences that would make you step out of someone’s life.
Your wife is always going to have feelings, pushback, and moods—it’s part of her nature.
You must be the rock.
- When she’s stormy, you stay grounded.
- When she’s emotional, you stand firm.
- When she tests you, you don’t react.
That’s having a masculine frame for her feminine behaviors.
But the moment she crosses the line of what you deeply value…
BOOM.
That’s when your boundary comes out for the kinds of people you keep in your life.
The first time your boundary gets crossed warrants a verbal affirmation of what you value and won’t tolerate.
The 2nd time requires a more severe consequence.
By the third offense, you remove yourself from that person’s life.
That’s how serious boundaries are.
Gaining Clarity on Who You Are
This is the work I do with men.
We dig deep into your core values and get rock-solid on how to stand firm in them.
You become a man who is strong, not reactive.
A man who fills the space that’s his to fill—and lets her do the same.
1:1 coaching with me isn’t for guys who dabble.
It’s for men who want the maximum return on their investment.
Men who don’t pussyfoot around—they go big or go home.
But if you’re not ready for coaching yet, my book is a great place to start.
It’s for High-Achieving Men who want to restore intimacy in their marriage.
? You’ll learn why doing everything she’s been asking for isn’t working.
? Why being her “dream husband” is backfiring.
? Why she no longer craves your touch—and how to turn that around.
? Download your FREE copy HERE.
Much love, brother.
– Garrett Prettyman
