Tag: Personal Growth

  • Being a Man Who Defies the Odds

    Being a Man Who Defies the Odds

    I get goosebumps and feel instant respect for a man who defies all odds and creates what he wants.

    A man who doesn’t play small.

    A man who looks at the odds stacked against him and moves forward anyway.

    I wasn’t born into wealth.

    No silver spoon.

    No handouts.

    Everything I have—I built with my own two hands.

    At 12 years old, I spent an entire summer busting my ass doing yard work for neighbors until I made my first $100.

    Then I reinvested it—bought better tools, worked faster, and made more.

    By my late 20s, I’d rolled several million through my company.

    And I did it despite the odds:

    ? A recession

    ? Living in a town where most people made $20K a year

    ? My wife’s affair and a brutal divorce

    ? Heavy state taxes and red tape

    ? People criticizing my success, calling me an “evil business owner”

    You know what? Didn’t even matter.

    Because I was too busy doing the work.

    I wasn’t sitting around worrying about whether it was supposed to be possible—I was too busy making it happen.

    2008? One of my best years.

    I didn’t even realize there was a recession until people told me.

    COVID? Another great year.

    While the world locked itself inside, my crews and I were out doing clean-ups for wildfire prevention—even when the state threatened to arrest us.

    A Man Who Defies The Odds Takes Action NOW

    Fear makes you second-guess yourself.

    It convinces you to hesitate when you should be moving.

    But here’s the truth: The right time to act is always NOW.

    I want to introduce you to a client of mine—let’s call him Chuck.

    Chuck is a go-big or-go-home kind of guy.

    Hard worker.

    No excuses.

    He thought he had masculinity figured out.

    He had the truck.

    The military background.

    The paycheck.

    But at home? Different story.

    Over the years, an emotional gap grew between him and his wife.

    Like a lot of us, he was successful everywhere—except in his marriage.

    She started pulling away.

    He figured as long as they still had sex, things were fine.

    She didn’t see it that way.

    Because to a woman, a relationship isn’t worth it unless there’s emotional safety, a heart-to-heart connection, and a man who knows his value—independent of her moods.

    Right before Christmas, she filed for divorce.

    Chuck was wrecked.

    But even through the pain, he made a decision: He was gonna do the worknot just to save his marriage, but to become the man he was always meant to be in his relationships.

    The Light Switch Flipped

    A few sessions in, something clicked.

    I asked him what changed.

    He said:

    “I realized I can accept that my wife no longer loves me… or I can keep wishing it was different and keep suffering.”

    Boom.

    That was it.

    Clarity.

    Clarity about what he’s worth. Clarity about his standards. Clarity about who he gives his value to.

    And once that switch flipped?

    Everything changed.

    Suddenly, he had the power to create an emotional connection with anyone, anytime.

    Now? Women blush when he talks to them—not because he’s running some kind of game, but because they feel seen in a way most men never learn.

    And get this—Chuck lost everything in a matter of weeks. His home, his wife, his dogs, his future plans.

    If that wasn’t enough reason to give up, wildfires hit California.

    Instead of throwing in the towel, he got to work fighting fires with his crew while still pressing forward in his personal development with me.

    What Are You Waiting For?

    Chuck is a man who defies the odds.

    He’s putting in the work while pulling long shifts, rebuilding his life, and starting over from scratch.

    I asked him what he’d tell another man who’s waiting for the right time to act.

    He said: “Life is short, and hard sometimes. So make the decision to be the man you want to be. Be the hero of your own story. Get educated, do the work, and change your life faster than trying to figure it out alone.”

    That, my friend, is the mindset of a man who refuses to be a victim.

    Chuck owns his power now.

    He told me: “The power to be sad or happy is mine, and no one else’s. Anxiety tells you you’re unprepared for what’s happening. The books, the coaching, the work—it gave me the tools to be ready.”

    Phew! That gives me tears.

    Those are the words of a champion.

    He’s walking, head high, through his right of passage to join the ranks of great men.

    A man who defies the odds and takes action is the kind of man I love working with.

    Are you that kind of man?

    If so, we should talk.

    Book a free Get Grounded Now call, and let’s get clear on your next move.

    Stay grounded, brother.

    —Garrett Prettyman

  • How To Turn Mommy Issues Into James Bond Confidence

    How To Turn Mommy Issues Into James Bond Confidence

    This article reveals two sides of “mommy issues” in men and how to mature these insecurities into confidence.

    The video below is longer than usual but goes deeper into what causes mommy wounding in boys and includes some clips of James Bond as an example of what confident behaviors look like.

    YouTube player
    How To Turn Mommy Issues Into James Bond Confidence

    Mommy Issues From An Absent Mom

    If our mom abandons us or pays little attention to us as a kid, we tend to act out to get her attention.

    We might resort to teasing her, disagreeing with her, or flat-out disobeying.

    Feminine attention feels like love!

    Even if her attention was only to “correct” us for acting out.

    When we grow up “poking the bear” to get our mom to “correct us” we tend to resort to the same behaviors with our wife.

    We also tend to be emotionally closed off and avoid vulnerability since the world we grew up in didn’t work that way.

    Needless to say, resorting to teasing, “poking the bear”, or harassing our wife to get her riled up so we feel loved won’t feel loving to her.

    Hugh Hefner is an example of a man who didn’t have strong motherly support.

    When we grow up without the trusting, strong, supporting love of the feminine, we distrust it and develop a wall towards it to protect our vulnerability.

    When we lack a healthy connection with our mom, we tend to objectify women or de-personalize them to make sense of the world.

    Mommy Issues From An Orbiting Mom

    When our mom is overly focused on us, it can lead to the development of inverse mommy issues.

    We often perceive reality in a distorted manner, assuming everything revolves around us and that others are responsible for our well-being.

    Elvis Presley is an example of a man whose mom was so enmeshed with him, he could hardly face life once she passed away.

    Out of Elvis’s crippling loneliness, he married Priscilla expecting her to take the role of “mommy” after his mom passed away.

    The marriage of Elvis and Priscilla ended in divorce.

    Elvis sang of his loneliness right up to his last days as he tried to cope with the hole his mom’s absence left in his heart.

    How Boys Are Affected By A Supportive Mom

    There’s a balance between the absent or orbiting mom called the supportive mom.

    When she’s supportive of our feelings, dreams, emotions, and desires it can give us a sense of security as boys.

    However, when we fail or mess up, our mom needs to point us to men to help us get back on our feet.

    When we seek guidance from men, we reduce our reliance on femininity for well-being and courage.

    Unless we’re secure in ourselves, we can’t give our wife love without it being needy.

    A great example of this kind of security is the James Bond character.

    • James Bond stays in his own emotional lane no matter what others are doing
    • He’s deliberate with his movements and doesn’t match women’s energy when he interacts with them
    • James Bond holds steady eye contact, is playful, and is in touch with his heart

    Women can sense when we have a heart, feelings, and experiences but CHOOSE to not act on them impulsively!

    A natural attraction occurs when we stay in our own frame around the changing whims of feminine and when we don’t NEED her approval to be ok.

    How To Have James Bond Confidence

    As boys, we looked to others to tell us if we did things right, if we were fast, smart, or funny.

    It doesn’t matter if we had an attentive or absent mother; as adults, we must define ourselves internally.

    Below is an image of the masculine framework our behaviors need to come from.

    Masculine Confidence

    Without a strong INTERNAL frame to contain us, we’ll feel weak and soft to women.

    My guess is you don’t like being flimsy or wishy-washy anymore than she does.

    My masculine confidence framework is what I teach in my courses and with my 1:1 clients.

    There are core beliefs we need to re-write.

    There are new mindsets and clarifications to form about your identity as a man.

    This kind of deep work doesn’t happen in one or two sessions.

    Most guys see a permanent change after about 6 months of doing the work.

    I’ll be vulnerable and say I was not one of those 6-month guys, it took me 4 years!

    This stuff can’t be rushed or forced, it takes commitment.

    Are you a committed man who’s ready to change how you’ll show up in relationships over the next 20-30 years?

    If so, reach out for a free “Get Grounded Now” consultation.

    You’ll be glad you did.

    Garrett Prettyman