Discussing why your wife acts grossed out during sex is a vulnerable, sensitive topic. I’m going to get graphic! This article is specifically for the husband whose wife has grown repulsed by him finishing during sex. No man wants to make his wife feel repulsed by him. I know firsthand what it’s like. Feeling isolated. Feeling like there’s something bad or wrong with you. Let me help you see things differently so you know what to do about it.
Sam Used To Be In “Lover’s Paradise”
Sam’s wife, Heather, lay comfortably naked on a fuzzy blanket by the fireplace.
Her skin was soft and warm from soaking in the bath.
As Sam’s hands spread lotion up her freshly shaved legs, her her eyes closed.
Starting at her toes and working his way up, he could feel her relax.
Heather’s legs spread open.
Gently, he rubbed the sides of her hips, then pushed his palm from her lower tummy straight up to her chest, then back down.
She arched.
Her curves shadowed by the flickering fire.
Sam placed his palms on either side of her belly button, holding steady pressure.
He could see she was getting wet.
Sam brushed her labia as he slid his hands back down the insides of her legs.
Suddenly, her legs wrapped around him, and she pulled him in closer.
Heather’s hands unbuttoned Sam’s pants.
She looked at him with begging eyes and pleaded, “I want to feel you inside me”.
A while later, their passionate writhing had Sam cumming.
“Yes! Yes!” Heather moaned.
“I want all of you, every inch!”
Heather used her fingers to spread his juices all over herself in ecstasy.
She smiled and said, “I love having you all over me.”
Now, Sam’s Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex
Imagine the same scenario as before.
But now candles are burning, and soft music is playing.
Sam massages his wife’s muscles into jello.
He touches her lips with his finger and leans in for a kiss.
As their lips touch, tears run down Heather’s cheeks.
“I feel nothing,” she said, then got up and walked out of the room.
The next weekend, Sam and Heather were at it again.
They both lay in bed kissing and cuddling.
As desire grew, Sam slipped his hard manhood inside her.
They arched together.
Soon, both Heather and Sam climaxed together.
After Sam came, Heather’s face held a look of disgust.
“I’ll be leaking your juices for the rest of the day… This is GROSS!” she snapped.
Heather rolled out of bed to shower.
When she came back, she crawled into bed facing the wall with her back to Sam and went to sleep.
This was happening more and more lately.
The month prior, Sam had pulled out and finished on her chest.
She had the same reaction then.
Why was his wife so grossed out during sex?
She used to LOVE him finishing on her.
What changed?
Was he doing something wrong?
The answer is both simple and complex.
Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex Because She’s Not Turned On
Women’s sexuality “opens” and “closes” (This is not because of a wrong sex position or lube).
This is the simple thing to understand.
Men’s desire for sex goes up and down depending on sexual frequency.
There’s one constant to be relied on with men: The longer it’s been since he’s had sex, the more strongly he can feel desire.
Women are not wired this way. A “closed” Woman can go decades without desire.
When a woman is “closed,” your morning wood makes you a pervert in her opinion.
If she’s “opened,” she can’t keep her hands out of your pants.
If your wife used to love when you finished (and now hates it), it’s a window into where SHE is.
This is where it gets a little more complex.
Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex When She’s “Closed”
In her book, “Open Her,” Karen Brody describes 7 masculine archetypes that “open” women.
She talks about two ways women lose respect and sexual desire for a man.
These two ways are:
- Going for sex after your wife hasn’t been treating you well.
- Proceeding with sex when the first initial touch or kiss was obviously not well received by her.
If you go for sex after your wife mistreats you, it shows low self-worth.
See yourself as the prize.
Don’t give yourself to her when she’s been nasty to you.
If you do, she’ll grow to resent your touch.
She’ll think to herself, “He has no standards… why should I even give effort to be a better wife?”
When your wife acts grossed out during sex, it’s because you missed the early signals that said STOP.
Did she wince when you put your hand on her arm?
Did she turn her face when you went in for the kiss?
Was she complaining about a headache?
These are all signs she is NOT in the mood.
See how your wife acts grossed out during sex because she wasn’t desiring it in the first place?
For guys, we get turned on by doing sexual stuff.
Your wife doesn’t have this ability.
She has to be turned on FIRST.
For the confident, attractive man, sex is never transactional.
A man with high self-esteem takes sex off the table when his standards for engagement are not met.
Sex is his awesome gift.
He only gives it at the right time.
But most men are looking at this backwards.
They think SHE is the one rejecting him from good, intimate sex.
Thinking this way is a reversal of leadership.
YOU are the gatekeeper of intimacy.
YOU take sex off the table when your wife acts grossed out during sex.
Not to be mean, but to show you won’t settle for less than the best.
It also means you lovingly lead her to something besides sex when she’s not in the mood.
Something you both can still enjoy.
A conversation.
An adventure.
Until a man can show this self-value for himself, SHE won’t be able to feel respect for him.
And women don’t sexually desire men they don’t respect.
Your Wife Is Helping You Connect To The Present Moment
When a man’s sex drive is full throttle, it’s easy for his mind to be in la-la land.
Presence is the opposite.
And without presence, your wife will feel like a used blowup doll.
How your wife responds to you is calling you to tune into the NOW.
She’s challenging you to the edge of your personal growth.
What are your boundaries?
How much do you value yourself?
When your wife acts grossed out during sex, how will you respond?
You won’t know where you stand on these things until you’re challenged by feminine.
Going at it like rabbits isn’t growth at all.
When she shames you for ejaculating, it’s calling on your leadership, sense of worth, and boundaries.
Let’s Get Your Bedroom Steamy Again
Has your partner brought you to the end of your wits?
Good.
You’re in the battlefield where kings are made.
I help men in the battlefield become kings every day.
If you’re ready to address the deeper issues in yourself, the ones keeping your marriage sexless and cold, reach out.