Tag: relationship

  • How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    This article discusses how women respond to the energy we bring into the relationship. I’ll use examples from the TV show “Vikings” to illustrate how you need to be to make your wife want you again.

    Focus On Causes, Not Symptoms

    Every day, I speak to men in a desperate spot. 

    They sincerely want to save their failing marriage, but everything they do seems to backfire.  

    I know how it feels to become hiper focused on everything that’s “wrong” assuming those issues are the only thing preventing our marriage from turning around. 

    The problem with this approach is we’re trying to resolve symptoms, not causes. 

    • Lack of affection/no sex
    • Poor communication
    • Blaming attachment styles
    • Love language frustrations
    • Emotional coldness/withdrawal
    • Her inability to be respectful or do self-improvement

    The list above are symptoms, not root causes.

    I say it all the time, “Love covers a multitude of sins”.

    When our wife feels attracted to us, she overlooks the annoyances (and so do we).

    The level of personal happiness and fulfillment we feel outside of marriage determines how we’ll eventually feel inside the marriage.

    The degree to which we can create an amazing life without our wife determines the degree to which we can create one with her.

    If we’re not emotionally secure enough to let her go, we’re not emotionally secure enough to have her. 

    These are the kinds of insecurities and root causes that cripple a relationship. 

    How You Need To Be To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    Watch my video below to see how a woman changes when the man gets his spark back. 

    YouTube player
    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    One of the most effective ways to attract a woman is to let her go. 

    She wants to have the freedom to CHOOSE you, and she can’t have that freedom unless she knows she has the freedom to NOT choose you as well. 

    A man without an inspiring life mission will see his wife as his source of happiness and purpose for living. 

    He can’t let her go because he can’t imagine living without her. 

    Woman are not wired to be responsible for their happiness AND ours. 

    A huge burden is lifted off her shoulders when we have a life that’s so energizing that our spark, charisma, excitement, joy, and inspiration are full regardless of what she does.

    How A Viking Reattracted His Lover

    In the video, I pointed out how the more Rollo wallowed in his self-pity, victim mindset, and lack of purpose the more Siggy lost her attraction for him. 

    He blamed his brother, his ex-lover, the gods’, and everyone else for his life. 

    For a time, Rollo tried to demand respect and love from others and that quickly made his situation worse.

    I realize this story is made up, but it mirrors what I see with men I work with. 

    Again and again, I’ve seen my client’s wife circle back after the man gets clear, excited, and motivated by his positive future to the point that he lovingly lets her go.

    These men grew to the point they:

    • No longer resisted the divorce process.
    • No longer needed to “be right”.
    • No longer needed her mood be different for him to be ok.
    • Could unshakably trust in their own ability to create the experiences they wanted.
    • Accepted that she is on her own journey of personal growth and is progressing at her own pace.
    • Stopped “fighting for the marriage”

    In the video, Siggy suddenly became re-attracted to Rollo because his spark brought energy to the relationship instead of taking energy from it.

    She wanted to feel ALIVE. 

    Women move towards what makes them feel ALIVE.

    We as men get to take the lead and demonstrate what feeling alive looks like. 

    Our partner is wired to respond to the energy we bring into our relationship.

    Our vibe, tone, and look in our eye does all the talking.

    Getting Your Spark Back

    When I take men through my Masculine Confidence Framework I’m giving them the foundation for WHO they are, then helping them get clear on HOW to be that man in their relationship.

    Men emerge from this framework with personalized, unflappable self-trust and inner security.

    You read that right. 

    YOUR masculine frame is not going to consist of the same values or operating principles as the next guy. 

    My coaching challenges YOUR pain points, YOUR perspectives, and YOUR excuses. 

    An interesting study revealed how high testosterone doesn’t necessarily equal high female attraction.

    What the researchers discovered was low levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) had more of an appealing effect on women than high testosterone did.

    We don’t need to be more “macho” for our wife to want us, we need to be more comfortable in our own skin, more OK, and more relaxed to face what needs to be faced.

    If you’re ready to have your brain rewired so you can make decisions quickly, know how to be with feminine emotions, and live as a man with an inspiring purpose, then fill out my Get Grounded Now contact form to schedule a free consultation. 

    I promise you’ll gain clarity on how to make your wife want you again without being fake or manipulative.

    In total honesty, we CAN’T make our wife do anything, we can only be a higher standard that makes the choice to join us blindingly obvious.

    Much love brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • How I Got My Happiness Back After My Wife’s Affair

    How I Got My Happiness Back After My Wife’s Affair

    Below is a video from a recent conversation I had with master coach Sven Masterson. I highly recommend Sven’s community and mentorship. Click his name to see the content he has about men, marriage, sex, and relationships. This article will outline exactly how I got my happiness back after my wife’s affair. I promise you’ll find value in listening to my discussion with Sven as well. 

    My Wife’s Affair:

    My August Saturday started off as usual.

    Stacks of book work needed my attention.

    Being self-employed required me to do the job description of 5 employees.

    It had been this way for years

    My wife and I were ghosts in passing.

    This summer was different though.

    The few times we were home together, she acted like I didn’t exist.

    She hadn’t wanted sex in weeks.

    Most weekends she would go out with friends and not come home for days. 

    On this Saturday, my wife was home.

    I was being mopey.

    I dropped a few comments about how nice it would be if she would stay home more.

    Since we both had the day off, I hoped we could at least spend the morning together.

    I sat down at my desk to do the bookwork.

    What happened next changed my entire life.  

    She sat down on the couch beside me and said “I have feelings for someone else“.

    I died that day. My heart was ripped out. I cried for days. I stopped eating. I couldn’t get out of bed. My will to live was gone. My wife’s affair tore me apart.  

    Fast Forward To Now:

    •  I’ve created a life I love!
    •  Live location independent
    •  Spend part of the season deep in the mountains
    •  Ceder trees, creeks, fireplaces, and coffee are all normal parts of my day
    •  I create connection anytime I want it
    •  Have several homes in different states
    •  Have the deep love, sex, intimacy, and relationships I want
    •  No longer dependent on women to feel good or “get lucky”
    •  No longer addicted to porn
    •  Experience the things I love everyday

    Watch this video to hear about 10 key attributes I had to develop as a man to create a life that attracts what I love after my wife’s affair:

    YouTube player
    How I Got My Happiness Back After My Wife’s Affair

    How I Created Happiness In Spite Of My Wife’s Affair 

    Step 1: STOP old behaviors

    Step 2: Grieve the loss (go through all 5 stages)

    Step 3: Develop new mindsets

    Step 4: Develop new behaviors

    Step 5. Develop new ways of communicating

    Step 6. Look forward, then invite

    STOP…

    In my Ebook The Devastated Man’s Marriage 1st Aid Revival Pack I list 26.5 things to immediately STOP doing when your wife cheats or has an affair. Continuing these behaviors pretty much guarantees your life will be miserable. These behaviors also increase the odds of divorce.

    STOP things like:

    •  Checking her phone.
    •  Tracking her location.
    •  Begging, bargaining, pleading.
    •  Trying to win her back with flowers and love notes.

      Chasing = Loosing


    Develop New Mindsets

    •  Your FEAR of divorce (not divorce itself) will PREVENT a new, better relationship from growing. Understand divorce papers don’t keep you apart any better than the marriage certificate kept you together. 
    •  Realize she didn’t cheat because you’re a bad husband. She cheated because she’s unhappy with who she’s allowed herself to become in the relationship. Even if you’re the worst husband in the world, cheating was her choice.
    •  See her as doing the best she can with the brain she has. In her mind, everything she’s done is justifiable based on how she perceives things. You can’t expect more than that from anyone. 
    •  Understand your pain comes from your perceptions, not her actions. 
    •  Get crystal clear about your values and boundaries. Write down the consequences for those boundaries. Your boundaries are NOT meant to control her. They should NOT be created out of fearanxiety or insecurity. They are intended to define the borders of what YOU want to experience and what YOU will continue to give YOUR energy to. 
    •  Let her feel the sting of her choices.

    Develop New Ways Of Communicating

    •  Use statements, not questions with her.
    •  Listen for emotion words when she talks. Connect with those emotion words. 
    •  Don’t defend, explain, justify, or get defensive about your intentions.
    •  Do more listening than talking…Drop the mic. 
    •  Talk your frustrations out with your man support group, not her family or friends.

    Look Forward, Then Invite

    •  Get laser-focused on your life mission beyond your wife and family.
    •  Face your uncomfortable edges where you’ve been playing small.
    •  Know exactly what your amazing future smells, tastes, feels and sounds like. 
    •  Say “hell yes” to what aligns to your amazing future and “hell no” to what doesn’t.

    TRUST IS THE CORE ISSUE TO ADDRESS WHEN SHE CHEATS OR HAS AN AFFAIR

    •  First, trust in yourself has to be developed before engaging her. Trust in your intentions. Trust in your ability to create a happy day. Trust you can manage your own emotions. Trust in your ability to detach from her moods.
    •  Second, She must show trustablity through consistency.  
    •  Third, she has to show true remorse for her affair.
    • Fourth, YOU must extend trust to her.

    Frame How She Can Gain Your Trust

    Trust is a mutual experience between one person being trustable and the other extending trust. Masculine energy establishes “frames” so she knows exactly how to gain your trust.

    1. “Frame” what you need from her to regain trust.

    2. “Frame” How long you need her to do this

    3. “Frame” the course of action you will take to manage your own insecurities, fears, and anxiety.

    Once I got clear on my boundaries and values, I lovingly removed myself from my wife’s life. I went from being willing to chop my arm off to save my marriage to boldly standing on my operating principles to ensure my happiness.

    If I had found a mentor before my wife’s affair, would my marriage have turned out differently?

    There is no way to know.  

    What I can tell you is everything I’ve created since then is because I had a man by my side coaching me along the way.

    This is what I offer men.

    I can show you exactly how to use the tools you need to create the relationships you want. 

    Some things only “click” when another man gives it to you straight. 

    Get Your Happiness Back Today

    Rather than waiting for my wife to change so I could have an amazing life, I created an amazing life not dependent on her. My new life has attracted what I want!

    Are you ready to have a man in your corner to show you the ropes? Fill out my Contact Form and lets have a talk. It’s free. No strings, no snake oil. See how coaching can make you into the man you want to be.