This article tells a TRUE story about how men and women interact differently with emotions. In the video below, I share how to respond when a woman says, “Stop trying to fix me”.
Trying To Fix Women – A Peak Behind The Curtain
Billy entered the living room and saw his wife’s distressed face.
Grace and Billy had been married for nearly a decade, and he knew when one of her meltdowns was imminent.
No challenge was too great for Billy to tackle, except for Grace when she was this worked up.
“I feel like I have to do EVERYTHING around here,” Grace sobbed.
Billy replied, “No, you don’t! When was the last time you did anything outside? I’ve handled ALL the landscape maintenance myself!”
Grace retorted, “Why do you make everything about you? If you were a decent husband, you would at least give me some emotional support!”
“I’m not making everything about me!” Billy said emphatically.
Billy went on to say, “I’m just pointing out how you got yourself into this mess.”
A few tears slipped down Grace’s cheeks.
This was the same rut Billy and Grace always fell into.
Grace would make illogical complaints, Billy would point out why she was wrong, and then Grace would make him feel like he was a failure as a husband.
Billy continued, “Why didn’t you ask for help if you felt overloaded? Not only would I have helped, half the stuff you did could have waited!”
“Stop trying to fix me!” Grace replied.
There it was… the ONE phrase that always baffled Billy… Why on earth did she think he was trying to “fix” her??
“I’m not trying to fix you! I’m just trying to understand,” Billy said sharply.
Grace stood up straight, wiped her tears, and walked out of the room.
Billy could hear her go into their bedroom and close the door.
“Great… Now she’ll keep herself locked in our bedroom all afternoon, then give me the silent treatment when she emerges,” Billy mumbled as he threw his hands up in bewilderment.
Why Men Like To Fix Women
In the story of Billy and Grace, we can see two dynamics unfolding.
- Grace is focused on WHAT she feels.
- Billy is focused on WHY she feels it.
In a man’s world, 99% of our distress is around the “WHY”.
- WHY is the roof leaking?
- WHY is my shirt lost?
- WHY does my wife not want sex?
We men have logical, troubleshooting brains.
In our world, if we can find the WHY, we can change the WHY, and therefore improve the result.
This process works great in the workplace, laboratory, and engineering department!
But when we encounter a pretty creatures with boobs, this process blows up in our face.
If our wife is blaming us, misguided, off-track, illogical, irrational, or emotional, it’s best to keep our WHY questions to ourselves.
Is There A Time We Should Be “Fixing” Our Wife?
Yes, there’s one time when we should “fix” our wife…When she asks us to!
I’m going to be captain obvious and point something out.
Trying to “fix” our wife never created a deeper connection in the marriage.
Trying to “fix” our crumbling marriage will have the same result.
Men come to me every day wanting to “fix” their relationship.
I empower my clients with the necessary tools to overcome their OWN fears, insecurities, and emotional dependencies.
The flighty, emotional, ebb and flow of feminine is not a riddle to solve.
We’re in her life so her chaos can encounter our balls.
A man with balls…
- Has nothing to prove
- Doesn’t need to be right or change how others feel for him to be okay
- Isn’t a doormat in the relationship
If you want to learn how to be the masculine leader in your relationship, then consider joining our, “Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course“
How It Looks When A Man Leads A Woman Closer To Himself
Not surprisingly, Billy and Grace ended up divorced.
This was the wake-up call Billy needed to take a hard look at himself.
Billy dove into personal development and found there’s a different way to THINK about women, emotions, and feelings.
With his new mindset, he stopped taking things so personally.
He learned how to BE relaxed, accepting, and empathetic towards women without needing answers for WHY she felt how she felt.
The juicy part of Billy’s story is when his future partner met him, he was able to open layers of her he had never experienced with a woman before.
None of this improvement in his relationships was by chance.
Billy had deliberately learned to drop HIS discomfort, HIS confusion, and HIS tension around women.
Perhaps you’re at the end of your rope and want to go all in on the biggest transformation of your life.
If you can relate to Billy’s story, take the next step by joining “The Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course“.
I promise this course will give you a new way of thinking and behaving that could change everything in your relationship.
Be grounded brother,
Garrett Prettyman
