Lead with presence, and you’ll become a man who is strong, grounded, and feels safe to feminine women. It’s not about controlling or fixing anyone else. It’s about you standing in your own state of wellbeing, no longer needing your wife (or anyone) to behave a certain way for you to feel solid.
When life throws storms your way—especially emotional storms from your wife—your role isn’t to react or defend. It’s to stay present.
I once worked with a client who noticed that every time his wife got upset, his body would betray him—one foot would instinctively start turning toward the door.
His foot said, “Run! Avoid conflict!”
But he caught himself, literally grabbed his leg, and planted himself firmly in place to remain present.
He decided, “I’m staying right here. I can handle this.”
His body FACED the conflict, his eyes looked into hers, his ears open, his mouth closed.
After a while, she finished her rant.
He calmly looked at her and asked, “Honey, do you need something from me, or were you just venting”?
That’s power.
That’s how you lead with presence when there’s choas.
The Jedi Mindset: Lead with Presence Over Emotion
I recently rewatched all the Star Wars movies, and something stood out to me like never before: the clear divide between the Jedi and the Sith.
The Sith, (the dark side) fuel their power with raw emotion—anger, hatred, passion, love, vengeance. They react.
The Jedi? They move with intentionality. They respond rather than react. They have a frame—a set of values that don’t sway with emotion or circumstance.
Anakin Skywalker struggled with this.
When he lost his mother, he went on a revenge steak to avenge her, killing many.
His love for his wife drove him down an even a darker path, terified he might lose her as he lost his mother—but the Jedi kept pulling him back, reminding him: That’s not the way.
And that’s exactly what this work is about—No longer being controlled by fear.
The Modern Man’s Challenge
Most of today’s “heroes” we see in movies don’t follow the Jedi path.
In modern movies, the main character is often fueled by vengeance—some injustice happens, and he lashes out in fury.
This Hollywood version of ‘power’ has been glorified, but it’s not power at all—it’s pure reactivity, a misguided portrayal of what true strength really looks like.
A truly initiated man doesn’t operate that way.
He doesn’t let his emotions dictate his actions.
His values determine his course, not his momentary feelings.
How To Be A Hero
How you feel about something is secondary to the fact that you’ve already decided—in advance—to act in alignment with your values.
That’s what makes a man grounded, powerful, and magnetic.
Lead with presence and you won’t let the storm move you—you become the anchor.
This is the way of the Jedi.
And if you want to step into this kind of presence and strength in your marriage, your leadership, and your life, it starts with a decision:
Will you lead yourself, or will you let emotions lead you?
If you’re ready to break free from frustration, rebuild attraction, and restore the deep, passionate intimacy you once had with your wife, then it’s time to step up.
My eBook, How High-Achieving Men In Their 40s Can Restore Passionate Intimacy With Their Wife of 18+ Years, is your guide to making it happen.
Inside, I walk you through the exact mindset shifts, strategies, and actions you need to take to lead with presence, strength, confidence, and clarity.
Get your copy today and start leading your marriage with presence, power, and purpose
Stay grounded, brother.
– Garrett Prettyman