Masculine Confidence Framework

Tag: Resilience

  • How To Be A More Confident Husband

    How To Be A More Confident Husband

    You’ll want to be a more confident husband when you realize just how dam attractive it is. Feminine women are drawn to confidence like a cat to catnip. This week, one of the men in our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course saw a change in his marriage. His wife (who had been disagreeable and cold) warmed up! Her change was in response to his new calm/understanding masculine frame. This article provides two key ingredients to be a more confident husband, even if your marriage is in distress.   

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    Be A Confident Husband: 2 Key Ingredients

    Love Being A Man

    When your confidence is low, everything feels personal.

    No morning kiss from your wife feels like a nagging stab in your gut.

    Her complaints about the house make you feel like you’re not a good enough provider.

    And when she says she feels emotionally neglected, you want to say, “Wait a minute, how do you think I feel?”

    Unless a marriage is led by a man who is secure in himself, it will eventually disintegrate into blaming and victimhood.

    You don’t need to end up as a divorced, gutted shell of yourself who blames others for your suffering.

    Being more secure and unshakable leaves you with a better life, no matter what.

    You’ll be a more confident husband when you value how you are built as a man.

    Yet, many men quickly lose any sense of confidence when it comes to tension and conflict with their wives.

    One major reason for this is due to BRAIN differences!

    A study at the Brain Science Centre in Minneapolis revealed that a female brain can process data 5 times faster than a male brain.

    This is why it feels like your wife can talk circles around you in an argument.

    It’s why her reactions seem to go in 5 directions all at once.

    That’s cool, though.

    Good for her.

    She’s got a gift you don’t have.

    Don’t fight against it.

    Appreciate it…and realize that YOUR brain has a gift of its own.

    Your brain likes to process data more slowly…at an even pace in a way that makes logical sense to you.

    The data your brain processes needs to pass through various phases of contemplation in your mind before making conclusions.

    It’s a gift and a strength, brother!

    And it’s THAT gift that might make her feel like you’re not listening.

    You might look like a deer caught in the headlights while your brain is processing.

    This is nothing for you to be ashamed of.

    Instead, be AMUSED and own it as your superpower!

    The path to confidence is about being comfortable with who you are authentically and not trying to live by other people’s standards or abilities.

    There are two key ingredients to face marriage distress with confidence:

    1. Be a more confident husband by knowing you’re OK
    2. Be a more confident husband by trusting your intentions

    You’ll Be A More Confident Husband When You Believe You’re Going To Be Ok

    If your wife is talking circles around you, she’s doing what people with her brain are supposed to be doing. 

    She’s OK. 

    You’re OK. 

    Everyone is OK.

    If your logical brain tells you she’s way off base or that she isn’t seeing things clearly, take a breath.

    Your brain is just doing what it’s supposed to do.

    Everything is still ok. 

    A man who knows deep down that he’s OK can face chaos with confidence. 

    The Vikings were unstoppable in battle because they believed they couldn’t die except on the day the gods had chosen. 

    In other words, they believed they would be OK no matter what. 

    The Vikings had what we call spiritual confidence, and it made them a fearless force to reckon with! 

    It’s a certain type of faith to develop.

    Faith believing that everything is working out exactly how it’s supposed to.

    Not because the big man upstairs is moving pieces on a chessboard, but because the world always balances itself through opposites.

    The very fabric of reality behaves according to a specific set of rules.

    It’s the same rules that keep the planets in orbit and prevent dogs from giving birth to cats.

    You are supposed to go through everything that you go through.

    Call it kinetic energy.

    Call it the rubberband effect or karma.

    Whatever it is, you have to have faith in it if you want to be a more confident husband.

    Be A More Confident Husband By Trusting Your Intentions

    How people decide to judge your actions is their choice.

    What’s important is that you trust your own intentions.  

    When you trust your intentions, you can let go of needing to be right, better, or understood by others. 

    To be a more confident man, stop trying so hard to prove yourself.

    When your intentions are honorable, simply trust them.

    Act on them.

    There is nothing to explain or defend when people react to it.

    How You Can Take A BIG Step Towards Confidence This Week

    In my coaching, you learn how to have a strong masculine frame.

    To be a more confident husband requires a first step: Knowing your values. 

    I will teach you how to narrow your values down to a few key components that energize your masculine frame.

    Your masculine frame will enable you to face marriage distress with confidence by being clear, strong, and sure of yourself.

    Even if your wife has one foot out the door, doing this work gives your marriage the best chance for survival.

  • Heal Your Mother Wounds To Increase Masculine Confidence

    Heal Your Mother Wounds To Increase Masculine Confidence

    This article reveals two sides of mother wounds in men and how to mature these insecurities into confidence.

    The video below is longer than usual but goes deeper into what causes mother wounds in boys.

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    How To Turn Mommy Issues Into James Bond Confidence

    The Mother Wounds Of The Absent Mom

    When your mom abandons you or barely pays attention to you as a kid, you learn to act out just to get noticed.

    You might resort to teasing her, disagreeing with her, or flat-out disobeying.

    Feminine attention feels like love, even if her attention was only while she was punishing you for misbehaving.

    Now you’re grown up.

    You have a wife, and your mother wounds are going to wreak havoc on your marriage.

    Do you “poke the bear” when you want some love from your wife instead of being direct?

    If so, the mother wounds of the absent mom might be in you.

    Another side effect of an unavailable or absent mother is that you’ll avoid vulnerability.

    You’ll close off emotionally or objectify women.

    Your feelings as a kid were ignored, so you learned to stomach them

    If you can hide your heart, you can’t be hurt, right?

    Well, being emotionally disconnected, “poking the bear”, or objectifying your wife to get her riled up so you feel loved won’t feel loving to her.

    If your relationship is struggling and you want to regain your wife’s affection, you’ll have to resolve your mother wounds.

    Hugh Hefner’s mother kept him at arm’s reach as a kid.

    When you grow up without the trusting, strong, supporting love of the feminine, you’ll distrust it.

    You’ll develop a wall towards feminine care to protect your vulnerability.

    When you lack a healthy connection with your mom, you tend to objectify women or de-personalize them to make sense of the world.

    That’s what Hugh Hefner did.

    He went on to create Playboy Magazine and to build his Playboy mansion.

    But every girlfriend he had said he was shallow.

    He kept his heart closed.

    He lived as a man with the mother wounds of an absent mom.

    The Mother Wounds Of The Orbiting Mom

    When your mom is overly focused on you, it creates mother wounds that are the exact opposite of those caused by an absent mother.

    Instead of objectifying women, you expect them to be latched onto you.

    The child of a mom who makes him the center of her world thinks everything revolves around him.

    He thinks others are responsible for how he feels.

    Elvis Presley is a great example.

    Elvis’s mom was so enmeshed with him, he could hardly face life once she passed away.

    Out of Elvis’s crippling loneliness, he married Priscilla, expecting her to take the role of “mommy” after his mom passed away.

    The marriage of Elvis and Priscilla ended in divorce.

    Elvis sang of his loneliness right up to his last days as he tried to cope with the hole his mom’s death left in his heart.

    When a child is worshiped by their mother, they don’t know how to live without that support.

    A Mom Who Believes in Her Son Creates A Secure Man

    There’s a balance between the absent or orbiting mom, called the supportive mom.

    She believes in his dreams, desires, and ambitions.

    Her support grows his trust in himself and towards the feminine.

    How is this different then the orbiting mom who creates mother wounds?

    When he fails or messes up, she points him to men for help.

    She is not his umbilical cord; other men are.

    When you seek guidance from men, you reduce your reliance on femininity for well-being and courage.

    Unless you’re secure in yourself, you can’t give your wife love without it being needy.

    A great example of this kind of security is the James Bond character.

    • James Bond stays in his own emotional lane, no matter what others are doing
    • He’s deliberate with his movements and doesn’t match women’s energy when he interacts with them
    • James Bond holds steady eye contact, is playful, and is in touch with his heart

    Women can sense when you have a heart, feelings, and experiences, but you CHOOSE not to act on them impulsively!

    A natural attraction occurs when you stay in our own frame around the changing whims of feminine and when you don’t need her to coddle you.

    Even if your mom didn’t believe in you, the mother wounds can be healed when you surround yourself with men who believe in you.

    How To Turn Your Mother Wounds Into Confidence

    As a boy, you looked to others to tell you if you did things right, if you were fast, smart, or funny.

    It doesn’t matter if you had an attentive or absent mother; you’re an adult now.

    You get to define your masculine frame and stop acting from mother wounds.

    Below is an image of what a masculine frame looks like.

    Masculine Frame

    Without a strong INTERNAL frame to contain your behaviours, you’ll feel weak and soft to women.

    My guess is you don’t like being flimsy or wishy-washy any more than she does.

    You can heal your mother wounds and gain this frame when you rewrite some of your core beliefs.

    Right now, you look at life with assumptions (core beliefs) you don’t even know you have.

    There are new mindsets to learn.

    New clarifications to form about your identity as a man.

    This kind of deep work doesn’t happen in one or two sessions.

    Most guys see a permanent change after about 6 months of doing the deep work.

    I’ll be vulnerable and say I was not one of those 6-month guys; it took me 4 years!

    This stuff can’t be rushed or forced; it takes commitment.

    Are you a committed man who’s ready to change how you’ll show up in relationships over the next 20-30 years?