Reading this will explain why some marriages can be turned around and some cannot. The man you must become to save your marriage is the man you need to be regardless. Being in a sexless marriage amplifies our shortcomings giving us a clear picture of where we could use self-improvement.
What A Sexless Marriage Reveals In A Man
When a man is not engaging in physical intimacy, a part of his heart gets harder to access.
Even the most stone-cold, brutal man can be melted by a loving woman’s touch.
It’s like magic.
Her affection draws out his care and desire to emotionally connect.
Take her magical touch away, and we end up with a man who finds it harder and harder to feel any depth of connection with his partner.
Her presence starts feeling like a negative, annoying vacuum in his life.
The almost cruel irony is women don’t feel a desire for sexual intimacy unless she feels a strong connection, and men don’t feel a strong connection unless he’s having sexual intimacy.
This is the stalemate most marriages wrestle with.
The typical compromise is the wife offers, “obligation sex”.
Obligation sex isn’t the satisfying, intimate sex the man wants, so the problem only worsens.
She blames him for not being deeply connected to her and he blames her for not being sexually passionate.
Some marriages do get turned around and the wife regains her desire for intimate sex with her husband again!
Some marriages never recover after sex leaves the scene.
Here are 4 signs she won’t change:
1. Despite being non-defensive about your intentions, she’s constantly criticizing them
2. Even though you’ve been showing her appreciation, she’s full of contempt and holds you in low regard
3. You’re taking responsibility for your wrongs, but she is always defensive and blames you for how she feels
4. You’ve learned how to manage your reactions and set a calm safe tone but she still stone-walls and gives the silent treatment For full disclosure, I didn’t make these 4 signs up.The Gottman research institution calls these 4 signs, “The 4 Horsman” signifying the end of a marriage.Â
We cannot talk our way out of something we behaved ourselves into.
BEING a non-defensive, responsible, emotionally calm man who holds his wife in high regard is a vibe to confront these 4 signs with, not a conversation.
Don’t expect the “new you” to immediately make her want to have sex with you.
These things take time.
A rough rule of thumb for marriage recovery is at least one month for each year you’ve been together.
If after that, she’s still exhibiting the 4 signs above, she may never change.
Sexual affection is a fragile thing in the female world.
Keep in mind there are also hormonal and physical issues you’re wife may be struggling with.
Watch my post on peri-menopause for more info.
The “success gauge” to focus on is this: Are you showing up as the man you want to be and have you been doing it for an extended period of time despite being in a sexless marriage?
What To Do Next
What it means to be “masculine” in relationships is very blurred in our Western society.
Getting crystal clear on the kind of man you need to be in your relationship is essential to knowing if you gave your marriage the best chance for survival.
You’ll discover the foundation of attractive manhood in my “Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence” course.
The cost to join this course will be the best money you’ve ever invested in your family, I guarantee it.
Click HERE to secure your spot.The pain of being in a sexless marriage will be for nothing if we don’t use that pain to make our future better.The comadiary and support of the men in my groups can’t be found anywhere else.Join today and start gaining the benefits of connecting with men who have already walked your path.
Much love brother,
Garrett Prettyman