Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away happens in stages. Men are affected by heartbreak differently than women, so the steps to heal are a little different. This article and the video below will help you take the right steps to feeling better.
The Pain Of Heartbreak
Loss of appetite.
Tears.
Inability to sleep.
Feeling like a used rag flushed down the toilet.
Nausea.
Shortness of breath.
What a man goes through when the woman he loves divorces him is no joke.
Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away is possible if you follow time-proven steps.
Why Should Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away Be The Focus?
When we’re suffering from the loss of our marriage, we men tend to hyper-focus on ONE thing…getting our wife back!
We think if we could get our wife back, all our suffering would end and the world would feel like a happy place again.
However, making our wife want to be with us is out of our control.
We will get stuck in grief for years if we focus on things we can’t control.
The other problem with focusing on getting our runaway wife back is it leaves us feeling like a powerless victim.
You know a man feels like a powerless victim when he…
- Complains about his situation
- Blames others for the choices he “had” to make
- Defends why his pain is “different” from what other men face
- Argues and raises his voice
- Focuses on all the negative things that make his situation seem “unchangeable.”
- Always brings up his ex in conversation to point out that she left him and why the relationship could’ve been fixed
Many songs have been written about men who pined for a woman who stopped loving him until he died.
Is that any way to live?
Misery puts a dark cloud over life itself.
Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away is 100% in our control, and that is why we must focus on it.
You know a man is staying focused on what’s 100% in his control when he…
- Sees the cup as half full instead of half empty
- Can clearly describe what his bright, amazing, love-filled future will look like
- Stops acting urgent
- No longer holds others responsible to change for his life to be amazing
- Bravely makes BIG, BOLD choices to create what he wants (even if nobody else approves)
- Doesn’t allow fear, loneliness, or desperation to dictate the choices he makes
- Takes full responsibility for how he feels without holding others liable
4 Steps To Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away
1. Come to terms with your denial of reality.
During a marriage, it’s best if we focus on the positives of our partner. However, after divorce, it’s time to notice what was not positive about our wife. We can easily romanticize her, which perpetuates our suffering. Coming to terms with reality means accepting that she isn’t all the amazing things we thought she was. We need to believe that we deserve better. A self-respecting man will not throw himself at a woman who clearly does not love him. The reality we must accept is that she no longer loves us, and clinging to her prevents the love we want from coming into our lives.
2. Go alone in nature and unload all your anger.
We will not be able to heal if we try to suppress our emotions. Go out in nature (far away from people) and fully unload all your anger about the relationship ending. Feel the anger from your head to your toes. An emotion that isn’t fully experienced can fester for decades, keep us stuck, and lead to PTSD. You might find the anger shifts to grief, regret, or resentment. Whatever emerges, get it all out. The goal is to let our body naturally heal by progressing through a whole range of emotions.
3. Grab a journal and vent all your “if onlys” and all the things you wish you could have made your wife understand.
When our wife leaves us, our brain will stew and stew on it, analyzing every angle, desperate to find a fix. Mental exhaustion ensues. It leaves us dazed. We can hardly function at our normal capacity. Use your laptop or journal to unload everything in your brain. Write out all your “if onlys”, “what ifs”, and everything you want to explain to your ex. Do not send her any of your epiphanies! Our subconscious can’t tell if we’re using paper or her as a sounding board. Using paper (instead of her) provides relief as if she were there to listen & understand our perspective.
4. Let yourself grieve the loss
Letting go and grieving the loss of the relationship is the hardest part. Some call this stage “the lament.” A lament is to mourn what we lost, grieve what will never be, and let go of the story we’ve been clinging to. Hanging onto our suffering does not prove our love for her! I’ve found self-love meditations to be very healing during this stage, along with doing shadow work. It’s important to build a support system during this time, preferably with men who understand your pain and can empathize with how it feels.
Your Personal Guide To Heal A Broken Heart
Acceptance is the only path to having a meaningful, happy life, even when life hands us lemons.
Once we reach acceptance, we can look forward and create a new chapter that’s BETTER than the one we just closed.
In my book, “A Man’s Vital Guide To Healing Grief” I give a blueprint you can follow to put your broken heart back together and reach acceptance.
I’ve had my heart broken more than once.
In my book, I wrote down every step I took to recover so you can have a clear path to follow.
You know this book will help if you…
- Wake up at night in a panic that your wife is gone
- Feel miserable when you see other couples kiss or hold hands
- Cannot imagine yourself ever attending a wedding again
- Have lost your will to keep going
- Feel everything (even your job) is pointless
Chapter 9 provides a link to get a FREE copy of my “healing loneliness” meditations, along with videos and digital resources.
Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away can be hindered if we keep holding onto the pain.
It’s paradoxical, but letting go of the pain feels like letting go of her.
Part of us doesn’t want to let go, because it feels like we’re giving up or letting her off the hook.
I help you overcome problems like this (and many more) in my book.
Click HERE to get a copy.
Reach out if you want personal guidance.
