This is the first in my series of 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX) I help extraordinary men create long-lasting love, deeper connection, intimacy, respect, and authentic affection through personalized masculine confidence coaching. The secrets I’m about to share are field-tested. They’ll bring lasting positive change to your relationships.
These Dangerously Effective Marriage-Saving Secrets Are Time-Proven
I’ve been working with men in troubled marriages for years.
I’ve seen repeated patterns of trial and error.
Many of my clients saved their marriages, even though their wives were ready to quit.
That’s why I call these dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets… they really work!
Let’s get into it.
Secret 1: STOP Being A Wishy-Washy Husband
You watch a movie with your wife.
Then she turns and asks, “Did you like it?”
If you give a straight answer, great!
You just provided something strong for her to feel about you.
But if you said, “Well, I don’t know, babe… did you like it?”… then you avoided the question.
Avoiding the question or leaving it open-ended feels wishy-washy to her.
It says you’re afraid to stand on your own two feet.
Why does dropping wishy-washy behaviours save marriages?
Because not having a clear opinion (or being quick to change it) feels manipulative to her.
It feels slimy and controlling.
She wants authenticity, not games.
So why do we guys beat around the bush?
If you’re like me, you’re hoping not to get in trouble.
You don’t want to rock the boat.
Her approval is important, and you don’t want to lose it.
And that’s the real issue she senses.
It makes her feel unsafe to be around you when you adjust yourself to try to gain something from her (like approval).
Explaining Yourself Makes Her Lose Respect
A confident person says “yes” or “no” for one reason: Because that is what they want.
Using a list of reasons to validate your choices feels wishy-washy.
It makes her feel like you don’t trust your choice, so how can she?
This sounds wishy-washy: “Honey, hopefully I’ll be home later tonight sometime if everything goes ok and traffic isn’t too bad.
You’re avoiding a solid response so you don’t disappoint.
And that’s the deeper issue.
Your wife can sense that you fear disappointing her, and that affects your sex life.
It’s hard for her body to soften to a man who walks on eggshells, hoping not to rock the boat.
This sounds confident: “Honey, I’m planning to be home by 6:00. I’ll let you know if anything changes.”
No list of reasons.
No holding others responsible.
Just a clear statement.
It can totally change your relationship.
That’s why ending wishy-washy behaviors ranks as one of my dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.
Feminine Needs You To Be Direct
In my youth, I played basketball with my friends.
Our church gym had carpet floors… it made it hard to dribble the ball!
Imagine your wife is dribbling a basketball.
The basketball is her feminine energy.
When the ball hits something firm, she can dribble the ball.
When the ball hits something soft, her need for safety hijacks her brain.
A female’s sexual desire goes offline without safety.
She needs to feel your firmness to feel safe.
Your firmness is what polarizes her desires.
Without opposites, there can be no polarity.
What’s the opposite of being clear, direct, and firm?
Being indecisive, emotional, and prodding… So expect this from your wife!
It’s how she bounces her basketball off you.
She’s testing if your behaviors are safe, no matter what hits you.
She’s giving you a “dribble test”.
I explain more in this video:
Walking on eggshells, avoiding conflict, answering indirectly, using a passive-aggressive tone – Those are traits of the wishy-washy husband!
I lived this way most of my marriage.
I didn’t even know there were dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets to practice.
It sucked.
It felt like a confusing, illogical, no-win rollercoaster.
Being wishy-washy around your wife won’t stop until you lean on your own worth more than outside approval.
Your Next Step To End Wishy-Washy Behaviours
Do you beat around the bush when your wife needs a clear answer?
Changing how you talk is the first step.
But the real issue is deeper, and that’s what you need to work on.
Ask yourself these 3 questions:
- What do I secretly try to gain by tiptoeing around my wife?
- What do I fear will happen if I speak my truth plainly?
- How would I address people if I trusted my intentions more than others’ interpretation of them?
Wishy-washy tendencies are a symptom of a deeper fear.
I’ll help you face that fear so being direct becomes natural for you.
Schedule your free Masculine Confidence Call and get tailored guidance using the Masculine Confidence Framework™.
Or, check out my free eBook on how to restore passionate intimacy.
Stay grounded, brother.
Garrett Prettyman
Founder of the Masculine Confidence Framework™
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