This article is about a masculine identity crisis plaguing many men and why this breakdown is creating frustration in marriages.
The struggle to feel desirable when our wife or girlfriend isn’t being affectionate can be painful.
We tend to think, “If only she would warm up to me, everything would feel better!â€
I realize this logically makes sense.
Heck, if we’re thirsty and someone gives us water the problem is solved.
Or is it?In the video below, relationship coach Mark Drezga and I explain the masculine identity crisis in more detail.
Having An Identity
Having an identity is a normal part of developing from a child into an adult.
Without an identity, nothing sets us apart from the crowd.
In fact, identity, or “ego†is necessary to have a perceptive consciousness.
Notice how a child doesn’t seem to have awareness of how they’re impacting their surroundings.
As a child matures, he/she develops more consciousness in tandem with having a sense of self or “egoâ€.
Many times it’s during this childhood-adult transition that the masculine identity crisis sets in.
The Masculine Identity Crisis
To be joined to something as one, you first have to be separate from it.
There’s No..
- love without pain
- happiness without sadness
- excitement without fear
This is the world of polarity we live in.
As a man’s sexual nature develops, it’s easy to look at women and think, “I need sex… Women can give me sex!! ..Therefore I must GET sex from a woman.â€
With this mindset, a man starts adjusting his identity to what he thinks will be more attractive to women.
Maybe the girl he likes hates onions so he starts hating onions too.
Maybe she speaks poorly of a specific stereotype of men so he abandons that trait in himself.
Play this out over a long period, and the masculine identity crisis is formed.
The man is trying to be more like her instead of letting himself be the polar opposite.
What’s the problem with this you might ask?
Well, it’s not just one problem, there are two problems actually…
1. The moment a woman isn’t warm, sexual, and affectionate towards a man in a masculine identity crisis he feels massive amounts of frustration. He resents her because he feels he’s owed for all he’s sacrificed!
2. One of the main reasons his woman isn’t feeling attracted to him is he’s too smooth, pleasing, malleable, and unclear on who he is, what he stands for, and where he’s going in life.
Resolving The Masculine Identity Crisis
“Opposites attract†is the golden ticket here.
To attract a female, be a man!
Hang out with men.
Talk how men talk.
Stop trying to, “not be like those guysâ€.
In fact, the more you hang out with mature men, the more you’ll act like a mature man.
Females have a sedative effect on men.
If we spend too much time with our partner, we start acting more feminine.
Taking The Next Step
Sometimes we don’t have a clear sense of who we are because of an underlying insecurity.
Other times it’s our fear of loneliness or low self-esteem that causes us to have no polarizing identity.
This is where I come in.
Men who go through my “Masculine Confidence Framework†learn how to have rock-solid values, firm boundaries, mojo, and a clear life direction.
If you’re ready to make massive strikes in your confidence and maturity as a man, fill out my “Get Grounded Now†form for a free consultation.
I tried for decades to figure this stuff out on my own.
Nothing changed until I set aside a few years to be mentored by men with experience.
Save yourself years of frustration and reach out.
Be grounded brother,
Garrett Prettyman
Schedule your free Masculine Confidence Call and get tailored guidance using the Masculine Confidence Framework™.
Or, check out my free eBook on how to restore passionate intimacy.
Stay grounded, brother.
Garrett Prettyman
Founder of the Masculine Confidence Framework™
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