This article is about a man who couldn’t handle his wife’s moods or emotions. Tiptoeing around your wife creates a long-term “drama loop”. A grounded, confident husband nips the “drama loop” in the bud.
The Negative Effects Of Being Indirect
Gerald felt torn.
He and his wife Susan were sitting in the hot tub.
She was looking intently at him for an answer.
He didn’t know what to say.
Part of him knew if he spoke plainly, all hell would break loose from Susan.
The other part of him knew his tactics of tiptoeing around questions had been getting under her skin lately.
There was a part of Susan Gerald dreaded.
He had named this part of her “the dragon”.
Although he had never admitted this term to Susan, she instinctively knew he saw part of her this way.
Susan’s “dragon” was a cold, dismissive, angry, moody personality that usually surfaced around her period.
For years, Gerald had managed to keep Susan’s “dragon” asleep by not disturbing the peace when she was on edge.
He had become a black-belt master of adjusting his responses based on how he felt she would take them.
Susan wasn’t the only one who Gerald used this tactic with.
Customers, family members, in-laws… Gerald could smooth over anything with anyone.
The “Drama Loop”
Over the last few months, indirect behavior from Gerald made Susan feel very unsupported in the marriage.
Her complaints were:
- I don’t feel supported
- You don’t stand up for people
- I can’t trust you
- I don’t feel heard
- You don’t understand me
As Gerald and Susan sat in the hot tub, Gerald opened his mouth to speak.
Susan immediately sensed he was going to “walk on eggshells”.
She stopped him mid-sentence.
Susan: “See! You always do this!!”
Gerald tried to backpedal with a logical excuse.
Susan: “Just tell me, did you or did you not tell your mom exactly why we won’t be going to their place for Thanksgiving?”
Gerald knew he hadn’t been direct with his mom… He didn’t want to piss her off. Gerald had given his mom a list of excuses why they wouldn’t be there for the holiday…
He tried to explain himself then Susan cut him off again:
“I’m done. I’m done with you never having any backbone… I don’t even feel like I can stay in this relationship”
A man who is not in his masculine power rides the drama loop of women in his life. There’s a highly effective process to stopping the drama loop. I teach this process to men every day. I teach you how to stay in your own “lane” when drama strikes. You’re cool, safe, loving, but FIRM.
Without this masculine “containment” women feel they don’t have a champion in their corner and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
How To Stop Tiptoeing Around Your Wife
I gained confidence to be direct by having another man I respect ask me some hard questions. My clarity of those questions gave me clarity to address conflict. You need confidence to stop tiptoeing around your wife. You need men of integrity to ask you some hard questions to challenge your thinking.
Fill out an application for my “Get Grounded Now” FREE consultation. I will ask you some challenging questions. Masculinity grows through challenge.
Much Love Brother,
Garrett Prettyman
Schedule your free Masculine Confidence Call and get tailored guidance using the Masculine Confidence Framework™.
Or, check out my free eBook on how to restore passionate intimacy.
Stay grounded, brother.
Garrett Prettyman
Founder of the Masculine Confidence Framework™
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