Nothing shuts your wife down like emotional pressure. It’s the silent and deadly marriage-killer. That’s secret #2 in my series of 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX).
There were many points in my marriage when I didn’t know what was happening.
My wife would spiral out, and I couldn’t make any sense of it.
It’s frustrating when you genuinely don’t know what to do next.
I was oblivious to how I had been adding emotional pressure.
I explain more in this video:
Why Emotional Pressure Ruins Marriages
Emotional pressure is the opposite of attraction.
Here are some common marriage-killing forms of emotional pressure that you don’t want to put on your wife.
- Making YOUR feelings her problem
- Withholding praise as “punishment” for her behaviours
- Listening to “fix the problem”, not to understand her perspective
- Needing her to make up her mind
- Doing things for her with unspoken expectations
To women, these hidden agendas feel like a snake in the grass.
It keeps her tense, on guard, and hesitant to open up.
It feels like emotional pressure, the silent and deadly marriage killer.
If your wife recently said she wants a divorce, then there’s a whole new level of pressure to remove:
- Let go of needing specific outcomes for the marriage
- Don’t resist the divorce process
- Stop spending every free moment with her
- Speak calmly and follow through on what you say
Force anything (animal or human) to do something, and you’ll get the same result: Resistance.
External pressure = resistance.
Internal pressure = motivation.
When a woman feels her own internal pressure, she makes positive changes because she wants to.
But she can’t feel her own internal pressure if you’re glued other side, following her around, and begging for her to change her mind.
3 Things You Can Do Right Now To Build INTERNAL (Good) Pressure In Your Wife
- Identify something you’ve been making your wife responsible for that is your responsibility. Is it meal plans? The schedule this weekend? Walking the dog? Leading your own happiness? Pick something, make a decision, and follow through on it. Remove the emotional pressure of needing her to decide.
- Stop explaining yourself. Every word that leaves your lips drains your wife’s batteries. Every word she says fills her back up. Practice listening. Make short statements, not full explanations. Use the silence to give your wife your undivided attention with your ears when she’s around. That means listen to understand, not to respond. Attention affects women the same way sex affects men. Sex in a long-term relationship is a byproduct of emotional intimacy. Listening is the first step to facilitating emotional intimacy.
- Stop holding others accountable for how you feel. This is your life, and only you can live it. Are you secretly hoping your wife will want to go for a walk? Go for the walk yourself. Are you blaming your wife’s behaviours for your misery? Go do something you love. Stop waiting for other people to give you something for you to be ok. Take action on your own initiative.
Your Next Steps To Removing Emotional Pressure
There’s an effective process I take men through.
I help you:
- Unplug from your wife’s moods and plug into solid men
- Get an upgraded mental map to manage your triggers
- Gain new perspectives to address faulty core beliefs causing your fear and anxiety
- Become a happy, confident, emotionally present man
- Get solid in your values so you can feel integrity and confidently set boundaries
- Clarify what you want and how to create it (very important)
You become the kind of man who can lead a woman through her emotions with ease.
These are the results of being in my “Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course”.
Doing things for your wife, hoping for a specific outcome, feels like emotional pressure.
It’s time to take your expectations off her and put them on yourself.
When you can lead yourself back to happiness, you can lead your family back to happiness.
Want help?