Masculine Confidence Framework

Tag: confident masculine energy

  • Why She No Longer Undresses When You’re In The Room

    Why She No Longer Undresses When You’re In The Room

    I’m sure your wife used to love being affectionate and physically intimate with you. This will help you see why she no longer undresses when you’re in the room and acts uncomfortable when you try to be close to her. 

    Exposing The Root Issue Of Negative Pressure

    Long before your wife or girlfriend will let you back into her panties, you need to get into her heart and create emotional intimacy.

    Relationship research backs this up.

    A core issue that prevents emotional intimacy between most men and women is our vibe of negative pressure.  

    We can be a great provider and never physically harm our wife, but if our vibe feels like negative pressure to her, it activates her fight or flight response.

    Negative pressure can stem from behaviors like… 

    • A lack of respect for our wife
    • Expecting her to think/act like ourselves
    • A general disdain for women
    • Criticizing her feelings or moods
    • Looking to her for validation
    • Expecting her to match our level of sacrifice for the family
    • Needing to know what, why, where, and who she has been interacting with

    Many hurt men have pointed their finger at women, armed with statistics to “prove” she is the problem.

    If we victimize ourselves by blaming women, we can kiss intimacy with women goodbye.

    Valuing that our wife is a beautiful feminine person is the path forward to rebuilding her comfort to undress and be physically intimate with us again. 

    Her struggles and pain are unique to her and might not make sense to us, but they are the exact areas of the relationship where she needs our empathy and support. 

    Believing “she’s the problem”, “she needs to get it together”, or “she’s just a b*tch” won’t get you the love and respect you deserve. 

    Why She No Longer Undresses When You’re In The Room If There’s Negative Pressure

    Adding negative pressure to a negative situation always creates a negative experience

    Think of negativity like cold water from a hose.

    A cold blast would keep your sex drive offline too!

    When the two of you first met, you probably demonstrated “positive” pressure without realizing it.

    “Positive” pressure is sexy.

    It creates positive, playful emotional tension.

    But now you have a track record with her…Possibly a negative track record.

    Your negative track record is why she no longer changes when you’re in the room, let alone joins you in the shower or sleeps pressed to your side.  

    Here’s how we built the negative track record that makes her feel uncomfortable around us…

    • When we got defensive, we kept the conversation in reaction mode instead of leading emotional safety
    • When we got critical, she felt like she couldn’t trust us with her feelings, making her feel abandoned
    • When we initiated sex while she wasn’t in the mood, we communicated that we were not tuned into her feelings or her body
    • When we fed thoughts of dissatisfaction towards her in our mind, we began behaving around her as if we didn’t value her.

    Multiply these issues over many years, and it will feel like there’s a wall between her heart and ours.

    The wall around her heart melts when she feels a strong emotional connection with us.

    That’s the opposite of the cold blast from the hose.

    How To Become The Positive Man She Wants To Undress Around Again

    Only one kind of man can turn the ship around when his track record of negative pressure has driven a wedge in the relationship.

    It’s the man who…

    • Stops taking things personally
    • Stops focusing on what’s out of his control
    • Starts living life to his terms (with swagger and a grin)
    • Starts trusting who he knows he is instead of other’s opinions

    When my clients make dramatic changes in their relationship, it’s because they made dramatic changes in themselves by resolving their insecurities, triggers, and immature behaviors.

    Now that you see why she no longer undresses when you’re in the room, it’s important to take this next step…

  • How to Stand Up to Your Wife Without Pushing Her Away

    How to Stand Up to Your Wife Without Pushing Her Away

    If you’ve ever wondered how to stand up to your wife without pushing her away, welcome to the club. Maybe you see her overloading the family schedule or making decisions that exhaust everyone, but the second you step in, it turns into a fight. Watch the 25-minute video below or keep reading to learn how a mature, masculine man stands up to his wife with attractive confidence, love, and calm leadership.

    YouTube player

    How to Stand Up to Your Wife Without Pushing Her Away Or Killing the Connection

    Most men swing between two extremes:

    1. The people-pleaser who avoids conflict, always says yes, and lets things slide to keep the peace. His wife loses respect for him because she knows he’ll always back down.

    2. The stubborn ass who stands his ground just to be right. Refuses to compromise out of ego. His wife feels disconnected and stops trusting him.

    Neither man creates respect, attraction, or a meaningful connection with their partner.

    If you want to stand up to your wife without pushing her away, you need a balance between being the people pleaser and the stubborn ass.

    The Masculine Middle: Calm, Grounded Leadership

    A grounded man doesn’t let emotions control him. He doesn’t back down to avoid conflict, but he also doesn’t assert himself out of frustration or insecurity.

    Instead, he stands firm because he trusts himself.

    • He leads with calm conviction, not reactivity
    • He stays firm in his values, not swayed by emotions
    • He stands up to his wife without attacking her

    Your clear, steady behaviors are what earn her respect, not how loud you are.

    This is key when learning how to stand up to your wife without pushing her away.

    Look at the two scenarios below. 

    Same situation, two different men.

    1. Man “A” reacts from emotion. He’s frustrated, exhausted, and snaps after holding it in too long. His wife doesn’t respect his leadership because it’s coming from frustration, not grounded confidence.

    2. Man “B” responds from principles. He steps in before it becomes an emotional explosion. He calmly asserts what needs to change because he loves the people in his life and wants what’s best for them.  She may resist at first, but she respects his clarity over time.

    Still unsure how to stand up to your wife without pushing her away?

    Then ask yourself one question: Do you trust yourself?

    Women test men instinctively to feel their self-trust.

    If your emotions dictate your actions, she won’t trust you.

    If you’re consistent, grounded, and clear, she will respect you even if she doesn’t like what you’re saying in the moment.

    How to Be the Leader Your Wife Craves (Without Being Controlling)

    Here’s what asserting yourself with love looks like in action:

    • Say What’s Happening. Even small things like “Hey, I’ll be in the garage for 20 minutes” create structure that makes her feel safe.
    • Don’t Take Her Reactions Personally. If you trust yourself, you don’t need her approval.
    • Have a Plan. If you just drift through life following her lead, she’ll feel exhausted and unsupported. Even the most driven women want to relax into a man’s leadership.
    • Detach from Needing Her Validation. A man who has an interesting and fulfilling life takes immense pressure off his wife. She no longer has to be his source of happiness, confidence, or purpose.

    I know, it all sounds great on paper, but it’s a whole different game when she’s reacting, blaming you, and making her mess your fault.

    So how do you access this kind of masculine energy when her cannons are aimed at you?

    Glad you asked.

    How You Can Gain The Self-Assurance You Need To Lead Your Marriage

    I’ve been coaching men for years.

    Men desperate for a “quick fix”? I see them all the time.

    They join my courses, do a few coaching sessions, and the moment their marriage starts to improve, they vanish thinking their job is done.

    Then, two years later, they come crawling back.

    Why?

    Because they didn’t do the work long enough or deep enough to rewire their brains.

    Rewiring your brain is painful, hard, and not for the average man.

    It takes dedication and an unyielding passion to achieve what others only dream of.

    I LOVE working with these kinds of dedicated men because that’s who I am.

    MORE love, MORE fun, MORE freedom, and MORE money.

    That’s what gets me out of bed.

    That’s what fuels my mission.

    If you half-ass life, or settle for “good enough,” we’re not a good fit to work together.

    So, what kind of man are you?

    If you know in your bones that being average goes against your very nature, we should talk.

  • What To Do If Your Wife Hangs Onto The Past

    What To Do If Your Wife Hangs Onto The Past

    A client recently told me, “My wife hangs onto the past. I’m tired of rehashing the same things over and over!”

    This article addresses how to deal with a wife or girlfriend who brings up the same stuff over and over.

    There’s a quote: “Do it right the first time so you never have to do it again”.

    That logic rings true for most men.

    There’s nothing more satisfying than checking something off…For good!

    So it’s understandable that you feel frustrated when your lady brings up past issues.

    But let’s be honest, we don’t mind her bringing up the past as much when we are not the villain in her story.

    Re-hashing the past can get under our skin when…

    1. We’re made out as the “bad guy” even though we’ve apologized many times for the part we played.
    2. She tells a version of the past that doesn’t accurately reflect our true intention or perspective of what happened.
    3. We see there is absolutely nothing that can be done about what happened in the past

    Why Your Wife Hangs Onto The Past Even If You’ve Already Hashed Through It Many Times

    Your wife or girlfriend isn’t crazy.

    There are 2 very logical reasons why she keeps bringing up the past.

    1. She wants to feel seen, loved, and cared for RIGHT NOW
    2. She wants to feel your unflappable emotional safety, understanding, and solid masculine core AGAIN AND AGAIN

    It’s not about the thing she brings up.

    It’s about you being able to give her (in the current conversation) the thing you didn’t give her in the past.

    She doesn’t want to feel your confidence, leadership, and unflappable emotional safety just one time; She LOVES to feel it again, and again, and again, AND AGAIN…

    So what does she do?

    She brings up the past again and again.

    Each time, she wants to feel you handle it better and better.

    When she’s in emotional turmoil and pain, she can’t get enough of you when you’re:

    • Curious about her experience  
    • Remain present with her
    • Hold an unshakable attitude
    • Act as a lighthouse through her uncertainty
    • Give an empathetic gaze towards her

    Men like physical intimacy again and again, whereas women like emotional intimacy again and again.

    So bringing up the past is a way for her to feel the strength and consistency of your love over and over again!

    Make Memory Lane With Her Positive

    If we get defensive, critical, or lose our cool when our wife brings up the past, we are leading a negative experience.

    The same applies if we become quiet, withdrawn, or numb.

    Her bringing up the past is a cry for love.

    Imagine she is drowning in an ocean, crying out for us to toss her a life vest.

    If we stand on shore explaining to her why she’s overreaching, why she doesn’t have the story straight, or why she should just get over it, she will stop respecting us.

    Women don’t want to be sexual with men they don’t respect, so how you handle this directly affects her desire to be intimate with you.   

    Around session 3 of my masculine confidence framework, my clients develop the ability to handle their wife’s drama with newfound confidence.

    This skill is essential for feeling confident when your wife hangs onto the past, especially in moments that used to spiral into arguments or drama.

    Most men don’t realize that her desire to feel his balls of brass and heart of gold comes through her complaints or bringing up the past.

    You can be a different kind of man going forward. 

    You know my Masculine Confidence Framework is for you if…

    • Your moods change when your wife’s moods change
    • You find yourself arguing about the same stuff over and over
    • You shut down or numb out to survive her chaos
    • You’ve been hoping things will improve, but years have gone by, and she doesn’t even know if she loves you anymore