To make your wife want to touch you again, ignore most of the advice you find on Google.
Why?
Because most online advice does nothing to address that gut punch you feel when she turns her shoulder in bed.
There was a time she couldn’t keep her hands off you.
But now, you’re lucky to get a polite hug.
You act like it doesn’t bother you, but it does.
Every man feels that ache when the woman he loves stops reaching back.
How you handle that ache is the deeper thing to address before she’ll enjoy tracing her fingers on your skin again.
To put it plainly, being unhappy isn’t attractive to her.
The Paradox of Attraction
For men, physical intimacycreates feelings of connection.
For women, connection creates the desire for physical intimacy.
If she’s pulling away, it’s not random.
She’s responding to a smell in the room (and it’s not your cologne).
The path back to passion has special checkpoints that you cannot skip.
The Path Back to Passion
Imagine you’re in a boat.
You want to head toward “Hot & Wild Sex Island” off on the horizon.
Seems simple.
Just row straight there, right?
Wrong.
There are two islands you must stop at first:
Emotional Connection Island, where she feels seen for who she is, understood, and safe with you.
Spiritual Connection Island, where your presence draws her in like a magnet. Her emotions don’t knock you off center because you know you will be ok. Your energy feels like Yoda, but with better-looking skin and words that make sense.
Learning how to make your wife want to touch your skin again means making port at these two islands.
Men who try to find and fix what they think (or she thinks) is wrong in the marriage will make the boat go in circles.
That’s because EVERYTHING becomes a “problem” for a lady when we skip those two islands.
Once she experiences your emotional and spiritual grounded energy, those other problems fix themselves.
Make Your Wife Want To Touch You Again Through Attraction
Forced love doesn’t feel special.
Obligatory sex doesn’t make anyone happy.
You want a partner who WANTS you.
This sounds simple, but you become attractive to your lady when you act like a secure man.
You don’t need her validation to feel solid.
You don’t have to live like a monk or be a perfect husband either.
No matter what she says.
No matter how she reacts.
No matter how much she blames, criticizes, or tests.
If you respond immaturely, it makes her desire shut down.
Your Wife Can’t Row Your Boat for You
Your wife can’t take you to Emotional Island or Spiritual Island, that’s on you.
And the only way to move your boat forward?
Use paddles made of the very thing you want to experience when you get there.
Want respect? Give respect.
Want appreciation? Show appreciation.
Want passion? Live with passion.
If you’re trying to make your wife want to touch you by having expectations, resentments, or bitterness, you’re not moving toward “Hot & Wild Sex Island”—you’re paddling away from it.
How To Start Rowing Your Boat Towards Intimacy
Every day, I help men evolve into their mature masculinity.
They’re no longer chasing approval.
These men are creating love, sex, and respect on their terms.
They’re living what they used to only imagine.
You already have what it takes to heal your relationship; you just haven’t seen it clearly yet.
When your wife says you don’t listen, she’s often reacting less to your listening and more to the way you respond. I’m sure you mean well with your response. But there is a difference between what men and women see as a good response. Often, your response will feel like mansplaining to her. Below, you’ll read two stories about what mansplaining is and how to manage it. The video below gives two additional stories for more insight. Mansplaining is simply offering unsolicited advice or using a demeaning tone with women. Ironically, when men “mansplain” to each other, the results can be positive.
Is Mansplaining Bad??
If Your Wife Says You Don’t Listen, You Might Be Mansplaining
“I’m pushing so hard on this screwdriver, my palm is bruised!” Emily complained to her husband Tom.
Tom was unaware that the dishwasher door had been catching the countertop lately.
Emily removed it at least once a day to ensure a tight seal.
Tom glanced at Emily’s hands.
She was using a Phillips screwdriver… to remove a torx bit screw.
“Why are you using a Philips on a torx bit? Tom Asked.
Before she could answer, he said, “You need a T10 bit to remove that screw!”
“I’ve removed this door 20 times, I don’t need you to mansplain to me how it’s done!” Emily replied.
Tom didn’t mean to mansplain.
He thought he was being helpful.
What Tom didn’t realize was that he was offering unsolicited advice.
Emily was just trying to communicate frustration.
Tom could have asked her, “Do you want me to listen or give advice right now?”
Asking her would have shown respect rather than immediately assuming she didn’t know how to use a screwdriver.
When your wife says you don’t listen, she might just be trying to communicate frustration.
His wife, Denise, was in the bedroom folding clothes.
Denise told Billy, “It’s snowing. I’m worried I’ll be late for work in the morning. I’ll leave extra early in case the roads are bad”.
Billy was sleepy, but he managed to mumble, “You’re worried traffic will make you late? You hitting the snooze button is more of a concern.”
Denise seemed a little bothered by this.
But after a moment, she said, “I just feel like work is expecting way too much of me lately. I think it’s time to tell my boss I can’t take on any more projects”.
Billy was more awake now.
He got out of bed to use the master bathroom.
As he walked past Denise, he said, “You’re feeling overloaded at work because your sister was here all week and she didn’t lift a finger to help around the house”.
Denise looked at Billy, “Stop trying to explain my feelings to me, I just need you to listen!”
Billy shook his head and proceeded to the bathroom.
Moments later, he was back in bed when Denise said, “Tada!”
She held up a picture frame.
Earlier that summer, Denise started a side hustle.
She sold custom picture frames on Etsy.
“What’s so special about this picture frame?” Billy asked curiously.
“This one is made of foam, but looks like real wood! I’ll etch grooves in the back with the table saw. That way, the backerboard stays put. Emily replied.
Tom looked at Emily like a 5-year-old had announced she was going to swim across Lake Erie.
With a tone of sarcasm, he said, “You’re only excited because you think using power tools makes you ‘cool” or something. Stand to the side when using the table saw, that thing likes to kick back”.
Denise stomped her foot and cried, “I’m not stupid! Stop mansplaining to me how I feel and how to do stuff!”
What Billy didn’t take into consideration was that Denise had been using the table saw all summer and was quite familiar with it.
Billy’s tone felt demeaning.
Not his words, his tone.
His words weren’t much better though.
Each time Denise told Billy her feelings, Billy invalidated her feelings by saying WHY she had them.
If Your Wife Says You Don’t Listen, Check Your Tone
What women perceive as “mansplaining” is how we men speak to each other all the time.
For us guys, when someone speaks to us as if we know nothing, we take it as a challenge to step up our game.
If you said to your buddy, “I’ll get to work on time despite the snow,” and he replied with, “surrrre you willlll, watch those slick corners,” your friend’s tone of doubt would feel like a CHALLENGE to surpass his expectation.
Not so for women.
To her, your tone of doubt makes her feel like an idiot.
It’s the tone that made her feel that way, not the words themselves.
Like coals in a fire, she has her own self-doubt and insecurities.
Your tone can blow on those coals, heating them up.
If you offer your wife unsolicited advice, it can feel like you don’t believe in her abilities.
If Your Wife Says You Don’t Listen, Stop Talking
The right thing, spoken at the wrong time, is the wrong thing to say.
If you screamed, “You’re screwed” at an accident, it wouldn’t help.
Take your logical “truth” and observations to the men in your mastermind group.
They can handle your facts without feeling invalidated.
When your wife opens up, she is trying to let you see how she feels.
She isn’t asking you to help her understand why she feels how she does.
She doesn’t even need you to change how she feels.
Show your wife respect by letting her have her own feelings and ideas.
See that your wife is doing the best she can.
Whenever she asks for your logic, give it to her 100%.
Keep unsolicited advice to yourself.
If she tells you her feelings and you really, really, want to point out “why,” you can always say, “Honey, do you want me to listen right now or give my advice?”
She’ll let you know which she needs.
The truth is, men tend to be logically aware, and women tend to be emotionally aware
We can easily feel unheard by the other because of our different perspectives.
Your Next Step To Being A Better Listener
Many men today are uncertain about what it means to be masculine.
Without a masculine framework, core values, boundaries, and decisive leadership, your relationship will lose sexual polarity.
The masculine confidence framework gives you the clarity to show up to any situation with women attractively and confidently.
There are old patterns you operate by that you can’t even see.
When your wife says you don’t listen, she’s mirroring yourself back to you.
What does that mean?
It means there are parts of yourself you are not listening to.
Improving your relationship with yourself always improves your relationships with others.
As a newlywed, the title, “How To Make Your Wife Love You Again,” never would’ve grabbed your attention. A few years, bills, and kids later, it can feel like the #1 issue in your life. This article uncovers two mindsets to change if you want genuine intimacy and attraction from your wife.
How To Make Your Wife Love You
Natural Love Vs Forced Love
You want to make your wife love you.
But you don’t want forced love.
You want natural love.
A girl who craves you all on her own.
Maybe you’re thinking, “Shouldn’tshe love me for who I am?”
Nope.
She doesn’t owe you anything.
Nobody does.
“But she vowed to be my wife! She promised!”
Doesn’t matter.
She can’t force herself to love you.
The sooner you drop the lies from society and fairy tales, the happier you’ll be!
Your happiness is KEY for her to feel natural desire for you again.
Your wife is a female, so she will always act on her FEELINGS.
Confused why that matters?
Because if your wife makes YOU feel unloved, unappreciated, and undesirable, you have an attraction problem, not a love problem.
Attraction is a FEELING.
Feelings are not created by fixing anything.
Your male brain doesn’t want to accept this as true.
Your brain has questions for her:
Why won’t you be affectionate?
Why won’t you have more sex with me?
Why won’t you respect me?
Why won’t you be sweet and romantic?
Why won’t you open up?
Solving the “why” problem won’t bring attraction back.
Funny how you would NEVER use all those “why” statements on a first date to come off as attractive.
Yet it’s your go-to when your partner pulls back.
For me, those “why” statements are how I sound when I’m responding from fear, anxiety, and insecurity.
Those are the deeper feelings we need to face within ourselves.
What helps is a new way of thinking about them.
Mindset shift #1: Realize things like affection, love, sex, and intimacy are things that ensue but cannot be pursued.
That means you can’t work on intimacy to improve intimacy.
You can’t work on attraction to have attraction.
Attraction is a natural result of how it feels to be around you.
Many dictators have demanded obedience and loyalty.
It’s a logical approach to force something to happen.
But the commitment of their followers is never fervent.
Leaders who ATTRACT their followers gain true loyalty.
Females are RESPONDERS to the vibe in the room.
Think of feminine love, affection, and desire like the moon.
Without a light source, there is no moonlight.
You are her light source.
You need to find your inner happiness if you want to make your wife love you again.
What do you love about yourself?
Are you showing yourself the priority, appreciation, and care that you would like from your wife?
It’s easy to think that helping with the dishes or doing more chores will make her feel attraction for you again.
But your partner isn’t drawn to your actions.
She is drawn to how you behave while you do those things.
We’re you looking for approval?
Did you do the dishes with strings attached?
Did you work hard all week, then expect to be rewarded with sex?
The vibe you put out while you’re doing these things is what she responds to, not the action itself!
This doesn’t mean you should stop unclogging the toilet or mowing the lawn.
Do those things for your OWN sense of integrity, no need for her to reciprocate.
She will sense when you stop doing things with a vibe of expectation towards her and start BEING a man who enjoys living up to his own standards he has for himself.
Make Your Wife Love You Again By Not Chasing Her
The most effective way to push a woman out of your life is to chase her.
I know you’re thinking, “I thought women want to be pursued.“?
This is true.
Women WANT to be pursued.
Give her that pursuit, and she loses the WANT.
Keeping her wanting is the secret to attraction!
You know what comes along with wanting? DESIRE.
Warning! This is one of those things you get to know as a man, but it will backfire if you share it with your wife.
In her emotional brain, it will never make sense to her.
Just ask yourself this: how often has placating to your wife’s perspectives helped your sex life?
Exactly.
Adjusting your responses to her whims gave you a friend-zoned, sexless marriage, didn’t it?
To make your wife love you again, you’ll need to trust in the principles of attraction.
Trying to align with her feminine perspectives has been lowering her attraction for you all along.
It’s time to let her experience a new you.
One who doesn’t need to make momma happy for him to be happy.
Needing Her Support Turns Her Off
Women are wired to show up to the finish line and feel ALIVE, celebrating with you in your accomplishments.
Hand-holding, support along the way, and being your emotional tampon during the race is a mothering role.
Your lover is not going to sign up for that.
Needing a mommy to support you won’t make your wife love you again; It just makes you feel like another kid to take care of.
The support and encouragement you need must come from men.
A lot of us sought mothering energy from our wives through sex!
We used sex to validate ourselves as being successful men.
We saw our ability to give her an orgasm as the feminine approval we desperately needed.
The more secure you get, the less you’ll need her validation.
That’s when her desire for intimacy grows.
Mindset shift #2: Stop holding others responsible for how you feel. Instead, take responsibility for the vibe you put out.
But now she’s having tons of sex with her new lover.
What’s different?
Here’s what changed: The new lover doesn’t go sour when she’s not in the mood.
If she pulls away from his touch, he doesn’t pester her or mope.
He loves her intimacy, but doesn’t NEED her intimacy.
He doesn’t compete with her phone for attention.
His life is interesting and full of adventure.
That kind of man is a LOT more interesting than TVs, phones, or the neighbor.
He kisses her in the morning with zero expectations that she will reciprocate.
He prioritizes himself so he can BRING energy to the relationship instead of trying to GET energy from it.
She understands she doesn’t have to provide anything for him to feel empowered.
This kind of self-reliance to happiness is attractive!
Don’t expect her to start ripping your clothes off.
She’ll start making small bids for a deeper connection.
She’ll linger around you more, ask how your day went, and be more comfortable with you being close to her again.
Make Your Wife Love You Again By Ending Sexual Neediness
There’s a specific process I went through to build my security from the inside out.
Some of my old mindsets needed to be rewired.
Some of my values had to be rewritten!
Building a new, version 2.0 inner man is like undergoing surgery.
Cutting out false ideas and challenging your old beliefs is bloody work.
I personally sought mentorship from men who had what I wanted.
In my coaching, you’ll gain a deep understanding of the enduring principles and perspectives held by these individuals.
If you’re ready to stop blaming your wife for how you feel and start living like a powerful, clear-thinking, masculine man, then reach out!
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