You’ll know how to set boundaries with your wife when you clarify what you value.
The mistake most people make is using boundaries like a sword instead of a shield.
I’m going to teach you a simple, no-BS approach to boundaries.
One that actually works.
I explain more in the 15-minute video below, which includes an invitation to join The Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.
What Bad Boundaries Look Like
Most people are using boundaries like a weapon.
They think boundaries are about forcing other people to stop annoying them.
That’s because 95% of people aren’t fully aware of where feelings come from.
They falsely believe boundaries can control how others make them feel.
This is all wrong.
Your feelings don’t come from other people.
They come from YOU.
YOUR triggers.
YOUR perceptions and attachment to specific outcomes.
Your brain interprets the world through YOUR five senses (which, by the way, are very limited).
Think of boundaries like a fence.
If you use your negative feelings to build the fence, it’s built on something you don’t want.
Boundaries should clarify what you DO want.
Like a fence that defines and protects what’s most important to you.
What Good Boundaries Look Like
A good boundary protects something you value because it’s vital for you.
That’s the key…it’s positive!
Your phone dies if you never charge it, right?
You’re no different.
When you get crystal clear on what keeps you recharged, draw a line in the sand so you don’t exhaust it.
No more over-giving. No more over-accommodating. No more over-serving.
That’s a good boundary.
So what recharges you?
- Time in nature?
- Meaningful conversation?
- A night with the boys?
- Intimacy with your wife?
Protect those things with a boundary, brother.
Protect both how you receive it and how much you give.
We all have behaviors that make us proud of who we are, they light us up so we feel self-respect.
Don’t bend on them.
A boundary around respect means nobody can push you into acting disrespectfully.
A boundary around love means nobody can push you into acting unloving.
If you want strong boundaries with your wife, dig your heels in and hold the line on these things.
If you don’t like how she’s acting?
Don’t join her, step back.
That’s your boundary because you know what you value and what you deserve.
Boundaries Are for BIG Things
Moods? Petty frustrations? Minor annoyances?
They don’t need to have boundaries enforced on them.
Boundaries are for the BIG things.
DEALBREAKERS.
The experiences that would make you step out of someone’s life.
Your wife is always going to have feelings, pushback, and moods…it’s part of her nature.
You must be the rock.
- When she’s stormy, stay grounded.
- When she’s emotional, stand firm.
- When she tests you, don’t react.
That’s having a masculine frame for her feminine behaviors.
But the moment she crosses the line of what you deeply value…
BOOM.
That’s when your boundary comes out for the kinds of people you keep in your life.
The first time your boundary gets crossed warrants a verbal affirmation of what you value and won’t tolerate.
The 2nd time requires a more severe consequence.
By the third offense, you remove yourself from that person’s life.
That’s how serious boundaries are.
How To Set Boundaries With Your Wife Through Coaching
This is the work I do with men.
We dig deep into your core values and get you rock-solid on how to stand firm in them.
You become a man who is a responder, not a reactor.
A man who fills the space that’s his to fill and lets her do the same.
1:1 coaching isn’t for guys who dabble.
It’s for men who want the maximum return on their investment.
Men who don’t pussyfoot around! They go big or go home.
Does that sound like you?