Tag: Empowering Male Sexual Health

  • Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    Are you pointing a finger at your wife for your sexless marriage? Don’t blame her until you take a hard look in the mirror, brother. When your wife emotionally and sexually withdraws, you can find yourself in the depths of despair and heartache. I know a sexless marriage wasn’t what you signed up for. But wallowing in resentment and blame doesn’t create intimacy. Let Chris’s story below be your roadmap back to confidence and intimacy.

    How Did Chris End Up In A Sexless Marriage?

    Meet Chris.

    Chris is known for his remarkable kindness and for always going the extra mile to please others. 

    He has a gentle soul, and conflict is his sworn enemy. 

    He would do anything to avoid confrontation and prides himself on being a peacemaker.

    Chris’s marriage to his wife, Sarah, started off blissfully. 

    They were deeply in love and seemed to have a fairytale relationship. 

    As time passed, Sarah began to feel a growing disconnect. 

    Chris’s unwavering niceness became suffocating, and his fear of conflict prevented open communication between them.

    Rather than leading an emotional connection with Sarah, Chris would walk on eggshells, hoping not to upset her.

    In their intimate life, Chris’s insatiable sexual neediness further strained their relationship.

    He constantly sought validation and reassurance, often pressuring Sarah for physical intimacy. 

    His desperation for connection had unintentionally pushed Sarah away, and she no longer felt the same attraction she once had.

    Sarah longed for a partner who could stand up for himself, express his desires and needs, and engage in honest conversations. 

    She craved a sense of balance, where both partners were able to communicate their feelings openly, even if it meant occasional disagreements.

    Feeling the growing distance, Sarah contemplated the state of their marriage. 

    She realized that if things continued as they were, both of them would suffer. 

    Sarah knew deep down that Chris’s innate kindness was genuine, but it was overshadowed by his fear of conflict and his inability to assert himself.

    She wanted to feel attracted to Chris, but an unexplainable pressure kept her from feeling anything but disgust whenever she was around him.

    Though she hated to think of it, Sarah knew deep down that the only way she could have the relationship she wanted was to leave Chris. 

    Does Avoiding Conflict Lead To A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her If She’s Turned Off By It

    Chris’s wife wasn’t trying to punish him by withholding intimacy.

    Even she felt confused why her body shut down around him.

    Jump forward 24 months.

    Chris and Sarah’s marriage only worsened. 

    Sarah had come to terms that she didn’t want to be with Chris and told him she wanted a divorce. 

    Chris was devastated. 

    Determined to change, he embarked on a journey of self-improvement.

    Chris sought mentorship to explore his own insecurities and learn healthier ways of expressing his needs

    Through self-reflection and guidance, he began to strike a balance between being kind and standing up for himself. 

    He discovered that true strength lies not in avoiding conflicts but in being unshakable in his self-esteem, boundaries, and personal values. 

    Over time, the dynamic between Chris and Sarah started to shift!

    Chris was living from a more masculine frame, and it evoked something primal in Sarah.

    Their conversations became more honest and open as they learned to communicate their desires and concerns without reacting from a place of neediness, insecurity, or fear. 

    Chris’s newfound self-assuredness and willingness to engage in constructive dialogue reignited the spark in their relationship.

    As they grew together, Chris learned the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between kindness and assertiveness. 

    He discovered that intimacy blossoms when his vibe feels safe and grounded.

    Sarah felt comfortable sharing her feelings with him again.

    In a word, it was Chris’s newfound confidence with emotions that drew her in.

    Your Chance To Restore Intimacy

    Did the story of Chris & Sarah sound familiar?

    Learn the key building blocks to become an attractive, happy, CONFIDENT man who women can’t resist in the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

    Watch this video for a sneak peek into the benefits men are gaining in this course!

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    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    If you’re action-oriented, serious about making permanent changes in your mojo, relationships, sex life, and work life (and have a sense of humor), then you should join this course.

    Over the years, I’ve appreciated the research into intimacy Esther Perel has done.

    In her article, “Are Taboos Holding Your Relationship Back?” she reminds us how familiarity breeds loss of desire.

    Let this truth relax your anxious mind that when something NEW comes out of you, something NEW will come out of the relationship.

    Have A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her… Focus On Being A Man You’re Proud Of
    Your love story can take a new turn.

    Your relationship can be stronger and more passionate than ever when you stop trying to please her and focus on rebuilding your self-confidence.

    You can learn how to give her space without losing her.

    You can use a season of no intimacy to dig deeper into being a more self-reliant man.

    Why?

    Because feminine can’t help but be attracted to a self-reliant, confident man!

    And hey, you know that feels good:)

    In my coaching, I can give you highly personalized guidance to rebuild your attractive masculine energy.

  • Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy (And How to Fix It)

    Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy (And How to Fix It)

    Many men, after being married to their wives for 18+ years, are wondering why she’s pulling away from intimacy. Is she ok? Am I ok? Are we ok? These are the thoughts of a frustrated, rejected husband. Let’s unpack what’s going on in this 3rd installment of my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.

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    End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent

    Secret# 3: End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent.

    (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWOTHREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX)

    Matthew’s Advances Fell Flat

    The sun was out, the weather was perfect, and Matthew felt good.

    If the sky stayed clear, he’d finish painting the house.

    Even better, his wife, Amy, would be home soon from her graveyard shift.

    They had plans for coffee together, a rare moment of connection after ten days of barely seeing each other.

    But Matthew wasn’t just excited for coffee; he was horny.

    The thought of getting tangled up with Amy before they left made him smile.

    Then Amy walked in.

    No hello.

    No eye contact.

    Just walked right past him.

    Matthew followed her into the bedroom, hopeful.

    She let out a deep sigh.

    He stepped behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and groped.

    Amy stepped away.

    She walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

    The Reason Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy Isn’t What You Think

    Thirty minutes later, Matthew and Amy sat in silence at a coffee shop.

    Matthew was irritated.

    He’d had his mind set on sex, and it hadn’t happened.

    Amy was even quieter than usual.

    Trying to fill the dead air, Matthew talked about his plans to finish painting.

    A tear slid down Amy’s cheek.

    “Why are you crying, Amy?” he asked, setting his coffee down.

    Amy stared off.

    “Come on, Matthew. You should know me well enough by now. I shouldn’t have to say.”

    Matthew replayed the morning in his mind.

    What had he missed?

    Amy finally broke the silence. “I need you to care about me.”

    Her voice was as cold as her untouched coffee.

    Matthew was stumped and annoyed!

    Didn’t he just try to have sex with her an hour ago?

    Didn’t that prove he cared?

    “Maybe you just need some sleep,” he suggested.

    Amy shook her head, eyes narrowing. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do.”

    Matthew clenched his jaw.

    His patience was thin.

    “This is BS,” he thought.

    Arms crossed, determined to defend himself, he snapped: “Well, I do care about you, so I don’t know what your problem is.”

    Amy turned her face as another tear ran down her cheek.

    Pro Tip: If Matthew had simply said, “I hear you. What else are you feeling?” he could’ve stopped this crash before it happened. A woman’s words aren’t a conclusion; they’re the tip of the iceberg to something else she’s feeling.

    How Matthew Made Matters Worse

    That evening, Matthew was feeling better.

    The house painting had gone great.

    But he was still horny as hell.

    Amy slept most of the day.

    Even now, she was curled up in bed.

    Matthew stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, and slid under the sheets next to her.

    He kissed her neck.

    She barely responded.

    “Come on, Amy. I’m gonna sleep like shit if we don’t have sex.”

    Amy sighed… that long, exhausted sigh Matthew had grown to hate.

    “Okay, fine. Just do your thing.”

    This was the kind of sex they had been having lately.

    Matthew hated it.

    Amy hated it.

    But here’s what Matthew didn’t understand: his need to relieve his horniness was all Amy could feel from him.

    Pro Tip: Your wife wants to feel your sexual desire, not your sexual neediness. There is a difference!

    If you don’t understand why she’s pulling away from intimacy, it’s time to notice the energy you bring to the room.

    A man full of sexual desire is playful, can tune into the present moment, and can create emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.

    Women love this guy!

    A man full of sexual neediness is laser-focused on getting to orgasm.

    He counts the days since they last had sex.

    He tries to get his wife to feel sorry for him when they don’t have sex.

    Women can’t stand this guy.

    How Matthew Fixed the Intimacy Issues in His Marriage

    If your marriage is like Matthew’s, there are some things you need to STOP doing.

    Stop doing things like:

    • Needing to be right.
    • Using her body as an outlet to get off
    • Trying to rationalize her into having sex
    • Getting upset when she’s not in the mood
    • Insisting she’s doing something wrong to you when she turns away

    That conversation Matthew and Amy had at the coffee stand?

    That could have led to an intimate moment.

    Matthew only needed to hold space for Amy to sort out her feelings with him.

    But he didn’t.

    He reacted, and she shut down.

    Tears indicate that there is more she wants to share, but she doesn’t feel safe to.

    Never mistake this cue.

    The reason why she’s pulling away from intimacy isn’t the first reason she says.

    If your woman’s eyes get glossy, she wants to open up; if only you could handle it.

    Thankfully, Matthew realized this cycle would destroy his marriage and got help.

    He found a mentor who guided him.

    And that’s when everything changed.

    He stopped letting his horniness override his awareness of how Amy was feeling.

    He learned to create a connection in moments that used to trigger his defensiveness.

    Amy felt his presence again.

    She felt his sexual desire, not his sexual neediness.

    And that’s when intimacy started to flow naturally again.

    Your Next Step If She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy

    You can’t hold space for another if you’re not rock-solid in yourself.

    The confidence you display when your wife pulls back is what attracts her to get close again.

    You can gain the same attractive masculine energy Matthew achieved in our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

    Join an amazing group of men and learn to lead intimacy in marriage with confidence!

    If you’re ready to break free from frustration, rebuild attraction, and restore the deep, passionate intimacy you once had with your wife, then it’s time to step up.