Masculine Confidence Framework

Tag: Husband Leadership

  • STOP Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

    STOP Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

    This article is about a man who couldn’t handle his wife’s moods or emotions. Tiptoeing around your wife creates a long-term “drama loop”. A grounded, confident husband nips the “drama loop” in the bud. 

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    Why You Need To STOP Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

    The Negative Effects Of Being Indirect

    Gerald felt torn. 

    He and his wife Susan were sitting in the hot tub. 

    She was looking intently at him for an answer. 

    He didn’t know what to say. 

    Part of him knew if he spoke plainly, all hell would break loose from Susan. 

    The other part of him knew his tactics of tiptoeing around questions had been getting under her skin lately.

    There was a part of Susan Gerald dreaded.

    He had named this part of her “the dragon”.

    Although he had never admitted this term to Susan, she instinctively knew he saw part of her this way. 

    Susan’s “dragon” was a cold, dismissive, angry, moody personality that usually surfaced around her period. 

    For years, Gerald had managed to keep Susan’s “dragon” asleep by not disturbing the peace when she was on edge. 

    He had become a black-belt master of adjusting his responses based on how he felt she would take them. 

    Susan wasn’t the only one who Gerald used this tactic with. 

    Customers, family members, in-laws… Gerald could smooth over anything with anyone. 

    The “Drama Loop”

    Over the last few months, indirect behavior from Gerald made Susan feel very unsupported in the marriage. 

    Her complaints were:

    • I don’t feel supported
    • You don’t stand up for people
    • I can’t trust you
    • I don’t feel heard
    • You don’t understand me

    As Gerald and Susan sat in the hot tub, Gerald opened his mouth to speak. 

    Susan immediately sensed he was going to “walk on eggshells”.

    She stopped him mid-sentence. 

    Susan: “See! You always do this!!”

    Gerald tried to backpedal with a logical excuse. 

    Susan: “Just tell me, did you or did you not tell your mom exactly why we won’t be going to their place for Thanksgiving?”

    Gerald knew he hadn’t been direct with his mom… He didn’t want to piss her off. Gerald had given his mom a list of excuses why they wouldn’t be there for the holiday…

    He tried to explain himself then Susan cut him off again:

    “I’m done. I’m done with you never having any backbone… I don’t even feel like I can stay in this relationship”

    A man who is not in his masculine power rides the drama loop of women in his life. There’s a highly effective process to stopping the drama loop. I teach this process to men every day. I teach you how to stay in your own “lane” when drama strikes. You’re cool, safe, loving, but FIRM.

     Without this masculine “containment” women feel they don’t have a champion in their corner and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. 

    How To Stop Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

    I gained confidence to be direct by having another man I respect ask me some hard questions. My clarity of those questions gave me clarity to address conflict. You need confidence to stop tiptoeing around your wife. You need men of integrity to ask you some hard questions to challenge your thinking. 

    Fill out an application for my “Get Grounded Now” FREE consultation. I will ask you some challenging questions. Masculinity grows through challenge.

    Much Love Brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • Roommate Wife: How To Change (For Men’s Eyes Only)

    Roommate Wife: How To Change (For Men’s Eyes Only)

    This article gives a short outline of key differences between men’s sexual desire and women’s sexual desire for men’s eyes only. Do you have a roommate wife? Then keep reading. 

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    Roommate Wife: How To Change (For Men’s Eyes Only)

    How Men Sexually Desire Women

    I’ll point out immediately that roommates don’t have sex. 

    They can be besties. 

    They can get along awesomely.

    Sexual intimacy is the differentiator

    Men and women are opposites in how they mentally process data. 

    The same is true when it comes to sexual attraction. 

    Men love when women are:

    • Fun
    • Exuberant
    • Full of life 
    • Sparkly
    • Sweet
    • Soft
    • Receptive
    • Motherly towards cute things 

    All those attributes add warmth to our connection and relationship with her. These traits are her “inner beauty” that amplifies her outward beauty. 

    But what makes him feel sexual attraction for her? 

    The answer is quite simple: She’s pretty. 

    1 is not pretty…10 is drop-dead pretty. 

    The end. 

    Note: There’s highly “classified” information a king knows that doesn’t help the realm if he shares it with them.

    Sharing would inflict panic and unnecessary stress.

    That’s why it’s classified.

    The mechanics of how most of our sexual desire towards our wife comes from her looks is best kept to yourself.

    How Women Sexually Desire Men

    Occasionally, I’ll ask women which movie character they find HOT or ATTRACTIVE.

    The results always intrigue me. 

    90% of the time, it’s not the big muscular handsome-looking guy she finds as a sexual turn-on.

    It’s the guy who holds a FRAME of mystery, courage, and self-control. 

    The rare 10% who find the big muscular guy attractive choose the muscular guy who has mystery, courage, and self-control. 

    A woman will call a guy “creepy” or “inappropriate” if he touches her and then daydream about a different man ripping her clothes off. 

    Why the contradiction to what she wants or calls creepy? 

    The answer is mind-numbingly simple: For the one man, she feels a sexual attraction. 

    Thank goodness women have a 1-100 point system for attraction.

    1 is a total creep. 

    100 is her knight-in-shining armor. 

    Muscles might gain you 5 points. 

    A handsome face maybe 10.

    Most of your attractive points come from your ENERGY Towards life. 

    Why Lack Of Emotional Safty Creates A “Roommate Wife”

    Here’s what WON’T make your wife or girlfriend feel safe:

    • Big muscles
    • Combing your hair just right
    • Beating up bad guys
    • Working 80-hour weeks so she can have a good life 

    A woman feels safe when she can open herself up to you without fearing rejection, defensiveness, resentment, or pissiness. She feels safe when you dare to go to emotional depths she fears to go herself.

    To sexually desire you, she needs to feel your resilience to her chaos.

    She needs to feel your deep grounding in who you are and what you’re creating in life. 

    Getting angry at how this “game” works won’t serve you.

    A hot woman will have scads of guys drooling after her.

    She could have any one of them she chooses. 

    A man, on the other hand, has to BE something before she will notice him as a sexual partner.  

    Who are you BEING? 

    At this point, I need to warn you of a common mistake men make. 

    Trying to be something she likes will backfire. 

    Even if her mouth is telling you all the things she wants, her body wants you to be a mysterious, courageous, self-controlled man who does whatever the hell he wants to ensure his own happiness…I know, women can be hard to make sense of sometimes. But trust me, her sexuality is in her body, not her head. 

    Being her roommate or lover is your choice, not hers. 

    She is simply responding to what you’re choosing in life. 

    Choose confidently. 

    How To End The “Roommate Wife” Situation

    If you think getting this stuff sorted on your own is a good idea I have news for you brother- that’s a LONG windy road. 

    Close male bonds with men you look up to is irreplaceable to re-calibrate your thinking. 

    You don’t have to waste any more time trying to figure this stuff out.

    You sure as hell don’t need to spend any more time trying to figure your wife out! 

    Master coach Mark Drezga and I have a well-proven plan to end your “roommate wife” problem.

    We teach you how to stop playing it small, stop waiting for others to change, and start making bold decisions that will bring the spark back.

    We are seeking 8 action-orientated men who are ready to get off the bench of late-night self-help binging and take charge of their personal development. 

    View our course info if you’re a man who wants more confidence, happiness, masculine charisma, and higher self-esteem. 

    Be grounded brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • 2 Ways You’re Unknowingly Turning Her Off

    2 Ways You’re Unknowingly Turning Her Off

    When we’re getting under our wife’s skin and unknowingly turning her off, we can be totally oblivious. In this article, I explain the two most common ways you could be turning your wife off without realizing it. I’ll also define the kind of man you need to be to turn her on.

    Has your wife said these words to you?

    “You don’t have my back”… “Stop trying to fix me”… “You don’t “get it”

    I know a husband who had been working long days at his job for years.

    He found a sense of honor in all the sacrifices he made for his family to have a good life.

    Not being able to pay the bills was a stress he never wanted his wife to face.

    • He worked tirelessly to save for a larger home, a dependable car, and even their own hot tub
    • He dedicated himself to resolving every issue that arose along the way, ensuring she could relax and reap the rewards
    • Despite the strain, he reassured himself that his hard work wouldn’t always be necessary

    One afternoon, he came home from work and his wife was crying. “I’m just so lonely”, she sobbed.

    He was pissed. This didn’t make sense.

    He was giving her a dream life!

    She could do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.

    Deep down, the husband felt jealous she had so much freedom.

    The husband felt incredibly disrespected and undervalued by her response to all he had sacrificed for her.

    He decided to challenge her with a mental “map” so she could clearly see why he wasn’t to blame for how she was feeling. (FYI, the man in this story was me) 

    The 1st Way You Could Be Turning Your Wife Off Without Realizing it: Presenting Her With The “Map”

    I talk more about this “Map” in the video:

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    2 Ways You’re Turning Your Wife Off Without Realizing It

    To summarize the video, when you try to set her feelings straight or justify your actions, you’re presenting her with a “map” and unknowingly turning her off. You’ve shifted the conversation away from “what” to “why“. This will make your wife feel “unheard”. Trying to get her to follow your logical “map” makes her feel like you don’t “get” her.

    It’s like handing a boiling lobster the owner’s manual to the stove it’s being cooked on. 

    You have a man’s brain. You SEE how everything fits together in the bigger picture. For you, spotting problems coming down the road is natural. Your excitement comes from putting those pieces together while keeping your eye on the desired result. You love “maps”.

    Your wife has a woman’s brain. She FEELS what you’re like to be around. She FEELS how you think about her. Her excitement comes from whatever she’s feeling.  Showing her the “map” to justify your actions feels like you’re trying to invalidate how she’s feeling RIGHT NOW. 

    A man doesn’t feel the need to whip out the “map” when he:

    •  Trusts his intentions
    •  Has clarity
    •  Acts Deliberate
    •  Stays Calm
    •  Feels confident in his inherent value as a man 

    She can feel your insecure need to get yourself off the hot seat by presenting the “map”.

    THAT is the turn-off for her. She wants you to “pass her test” by not getting defensive. She wants to FEEL you noticing her emotions, not the reasons for her emotions. 

    The 2nd Way You Could Be Turning Your Wife Off Without Realizing it: Not Valuing What’s Yours To Value

    Sometimes your wife will do things you never would do.

    Sometimes she doesn’t value things you value.

    Your own worth, value, and attractiveness as a man are things YOU need to be grounded in, not her.

    She can FEEL if the removal of her affirmations will crumble you.

    She can FEEL if all she has to do is roll her eyes and you’ll go weak in the knees.

    Women are hardwired to move towards safety and away from danger.

    She cannot feel safe or have deep trust with you when you’re dependent on her for your sense of well-being.

    When a husband is bothered or annoyed by his wife she’s usually doing something he wouldn’t.  

    Maybe she:

    •  Won’t stop talking at dinner with friends
    •  Doesn’t help with housework 
    •  Is always on her phone 

    If you’re bothered by it, SHE’S MIRRORING TO YOU WHAT YOU SUPPRESS IN YOURSELF 

    Example: Let’s say every day she sleeps in and you have to get up early. When you see her sleeping in, you’re projecting how you would feel about yourself if you did that.

    Resentment grows when you see her “get away with it”.

    Jealousy grows when you see her “living how she wants”.

    Part of you would also feel “lazy” if you slept in every day so you label her as “lazy”.

    All these labels are just your own perspectives and triggers! The swirling, changing, flowing feminine energy of our wives pushes us to our edge so we can work on our own shit. She stretches us to consider new perspectives and not get so stuck in a rut.

    Maybe we need to give ourselves permission to enjoy some things in life a bit more

    Maybe we should allow ourselves to have some freedoms instead of getting resentful of hers? 

    How A Happy Attractive Husband Brings The Spark Back

    Your charging cable needs to be unplugged from your wife. One shadow many men have is they think they need to “man up”, “have balls” or “be more alpha”. Although it’s true women find self-reliant men attractive, your batteries will go dead if you don’t plug your charger into a new receptacle. You need a community of men who have your back. You need male comrades. We love maps! We can hash data all day and find it very connecting. Unplug your charger from her and plug it into us or you’ll keep turning her off by draining her.   

    Many husbands are clueless about how to create an emotional connection. For some, it stems from deeper shame or fear of loneliness that motivates him instead of his heart (also a common way men turn off their wife). You can turn that around right now by connecting with me. 

    I teach nice, good, quality men how to:

    •  Be unshakably grounded in your manhood
    •  Have crystal clear boundaries
    •  Live from your values
    •  Create the relationship you want by having effective operating principles and standards

     These are foundational to becoming the strong man you want to be! (without becoming a jerk). Why is it so effective? Because this is man-to-man mentorship. We look forward, not backward.  I’ve been where you’re at and I can show you how to move forward. If you’re serious about stepping into your manhood, fill out my “Get Grounded Now” consultation form. It’s free. No fine print. No stress. I’m a certified life coach living in the mountains of Idaho who likes his eggs over easy and his coffee extra hot. We’re both real men. Let’s have a deep conversation about your current situation. Many men are blown away after this call. We talk about things our dad never told us. I give you tools to start using right away. I guarantee you’ll instantly feel better after we talk. 

  • How To Lead Your Wife Without Controlling Her

    How To Lead Your Wife Without Controlling Her

    I’m going to show you why it’s so dam attractive when you lead your wife without controlling her.

    The core of masculine leadership is the ability to direct others by giving them choices.

    The core of feminine leadership is the ability to sway or attract others through receptivity.

    Society has heavily taught the mindset that men and women are equals and both sexes have the same value.

    Society tells us we’re all human, and that giving attention to something unique about someone’s sex, color, or background is “racist” and therefore BAD.

    That statement I just made will offend many people and push them into the streets to protest for something that nobody can even give them.. Their SELF-WORTH.

    This is because somewhere along the line, we as a culture have misguided where our value lies.

    Value Is Something Nobody Can Take From You Because Your Value Does Not Lie OUTSIDE You. Your value Lies INSIDE Who You’re BEING.

    You see brother, When I talk about masculinity and femininity this has nothing to do with who is better, more powerful, more valuable, or equal.

    When I say “masculine leadership” this in no way implies the woman is, “less than”.

    There are basic rules to our universe:

    •  What goes up must come down
    •  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction
    •  What you resist will persist
    •  Polarity brings clarity to attractiveness

    A car only needs one steering wheel to reach its destination.

    When The Driver Knows Where he’s Going And Is Confident At The Wheel, Everyone On Board Can Relax And Enjoy The Ride.

    You can be the feminine energy in your relationship if you want.

    For some men, they feel most alive when they are the flowing, soft, receptive, nurturing partner in the relationship.

    Other men feel most alive when they are clear, direct, logical, and creators of action towards definite plans and a definite purpose.

    Many people try to shoot down the latter man because he makes them feel uncomfortable about their own state of inaction or their own lack of purpose.

    What the clear, logical man is actually doing is providing leadership.

    Masculine Leadership Creates Space For The Other To Be Feminine.

    Attraction arises between masculine and feminine energy.

    Here is where men shoot themselves in the foot when it comes to leadership.

    We tend to copy how we saw leadership demonstrated by those around us while growing up.

    It’s easy to thinkg of leadership as being “in charge”.

    We assume telling people what to do or what we want is leading them.

    But here’s the truth. Bossing people around will manifest “you not being chosen” in your life.

    Is being chosen something you have wished for brother?

    Have you said: “I just want her to CHOOSE me?”

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    How To Lead Your Wife Without Controlling Her

    You Lead Your Wife By Simply Presenting Your Position In The Form Of Choices.

    Let’s say you and your wife are in the kitchen and she just said something rude or hurtful to you.

    1. Decide your position, then decide “where to from here”?

    …Let’s say you decide you want to talk about it with her.

    2. Don’t explain, rather STATE how you’ve been impacted. “Dang babe, hearing that hurt”.

    3. Give her options based on YOUR position. “Do you want to talk about it right now or later tonight?”

    By giving her options to your position, she gets to CHOOSE your position.

    If you had said “Dang babe, hearing that hurt. I want to talk about this with you later tonight” She would feel PRESSURE, not FREEDOM to choose you because you are TELLING her what to do, not LEADING her to what to do.

    Another example is to imagine you are at the park with your kids.

    You decide it’s time to go.

    LEADERSHIP would say “Almost time to go kids! Do you want to get in the car in 5 minutes or in 10 minutes?” Shouting “Get in the car kids, we’re leaving!” doesn’t allow them to CHOOSE your leadership.

    Pushing people, bossing people, forcing people, is not leadership just as avoidance, beating around the bush, indirect answers, and waiting for the other to make the move is not leadership.

    Even if a woman is saying with her mouth she is a “strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man to tell her what to do” she can’t help that when the man confidently takes the wheel of the car her body can relax, take a nap, and enjoy the ride.

    To Lead Your Wife Without Controlling Her Is Like Driving A Car

    If a car had a steering wheel for each passenger, the destination would never be reached.

    Hell, if a car had no steering wheel or gps guidance system the destination would never be reached.

    Your marriage is that car.

    Your marriage will not work unless someone is at the wheel.

    I was that man who abandoned the driver’s seat of my marriage because my wife was complaining about my “driving” (and lack of “driving”). I decided to let her have a turn rather than step up.

    Letting her take the wheel put too much pressure on her to maintain safety and a definite direction.

    She jumped in the next car with the next driver who came along.

    Women’s brains are wired to use feelings to reach a conclusion.

    Men’s brains are wired to use logic to reach a conclusion.

    Nothing undermines a man’s masculinity more than when he goes against his logic by adjusting his values and life direction in an attempt to make his partner feel happy.

    Be grounded in your position brother.

    Lead your position by giving her clear choices and notice how THAT kind of leadership allows you to lead your wife without controlling her.

    Want to become a grounded, strong, masculine leader? Complete this form to have a FREE “Get Grounded Now” consultation call with me. No sales pitch. No snake oil. You have nothing to lose!