Brother, if you’ve been watching videos on “how to make your wife want you again” or “how to save your marriage” but nothing changes, you may be avoiding the root marriage issue.
Back in my landscaping days, we called adding quick curb appeal “Putting lipstick on the pig”
Spray-painting dead grass green.
Fake flowers.
A quick hedge trim.
Those things made a place look better fast, but it did nothing to address long-term issues the property suffered from.
A lot of men treat their marriage the same way.
They’re chasing quick fixes in their marriage while avoiding what needs to change.
You Can’t Hide A Dead Rat
If insecurity is driving the way you speak, act, and react in your relationship, you can’t hide it.
You can say all the right things.
Do all the right stuff.
But your wife won’t feel safe enough to open her heart to you.
She won’t tell you where she went last night; she doesn’t want to deal with your anxiety about it.
She’ll avoid being soft and affectionate with you; she doesn’t want to be your emotional tampon.
If your emotions stink, there’s a dead rat floating in the soup.
No amount of seasoning will make it appetizing.
You have to address the root marriage issue.
Insecurity seeps into your tone, your energy, and your reactions.
It makes you defensive, controlling, and judgmental.
You’ll talk more than you’ll listen.
Explain more than understand.
That’s the opposite of what the feminine craves…Leadership, stability, and a man who can lean in to hear her out without losing himself.
Labeling her as “crazy,” “a narcissist,” or saying, “You’re just like your mom” might feel powerful in the moment, but it’s a sign of feeling powerless.
Labels communicate that you need to put others down to feel strong.
It’s avoiding ownership instead of showing true confidence.
It’s avoiding the root marriage issue of insecurity.
Addressing The Root Marriage Issue Changes How You See Her
Starting fresh begins with your mindset.
When you change how you see the world, you change your experience of it.
Don’t believe me?
Think about a juicy, freshly sliced, bright yellow lemon.
Your teeth sink into it as the juices spray onto your mouth.
Feel your mouth water?
You just changed your reality.
There is no lemon, just these words.
Your feelings are not very intelligent; they are easily changed.
You can’t change your wife, but you can experience her differently.
When you do, your energy around her changes.
That’s when she starts to feel safe, attracted, and open again.
And if not?
You’ll be a man with no regrets, knowing you did exactly what men who saved their marriages do.
If you want to give your relationship the best possible chance and become a man who leads with clarity instead of fear, reach out.