Masculine Confidence Framework

Tag: Relationship Advice

How To Break Porn Addiction

Let’s talk about what it really takes to break porn addiction. This isn’t about making you feel bad.

It’s not about what’s right or wrong. It’s about not letting anything have control over you.

Why I Decided To Break My Porn Addiction

For years, I leaned on porn like a crutch.

I told myself I wasn’t addicted.

Quitting anytime seemed like it would be easy enough.

Then I tried to stop, and boy was I wrong.

I realized porn wasn’t a pastime for me, it had become an addiction.

When my marriage fell apart, I finally got tired of giving my energy to images and videos of women who didn’t love me.

I wanted something REAL.

A REAL girl, dripping with desire, craving my touch, and caring about me.

I realized if I wanted real intimacy in my life, I needed to break my porn addiction since those girls were just actors.

The truth is, if we say “yes” to fake lovers, by default, we’re saying “no” to real lovers.

Porn didn’t just kill my time, it drained my confidence to look my wife in the eye with nothing to hide.

It softened my leadership, fearful I would be found out.

It disconnected me from my partner by making me defensive about my integrity.

These behaviors destroyed our sex life.

Like a bottomless pit that takes and never gives back, porn left me drained of my vitality.

It rewired my brain to think I had created a real, loving connection in my life when I hadn’t created one at all.

If you want to break porn addiction, here’s what worked for me:

1: I Changed What Feeling Horny Means To Me

Feeling horny isn’t a problem.

You’re supposed to feel attracted to naked women and erotic play.

You are not broken for waking up with a raging hard-on.

These are not things to suppress or make your wife’s responsibility to manage!

That’s what I had to change.

To me, feeling horny meant my wife needed to do her job and have sex with me.

Old me thought, “I need to release this tension.”

New me? “This tension is fuel to create, build, and lead.”

That mindset shift alone made me want to hold my power and love what sexual tension feels like in my body.

I don’t need anyone to “take care” of my horniness.

I learned to be ok feeling horny, knowing that energy makes me energized to get a lot of shit done.

2: I Defined My Values In Writing

Not just in my head. On paper.

“I’m a man who only gives his amazing sexuality to real women, with real emotions, real problems, real connection.”

That became my filter.

Not shame. Not fear. Not web browser filters.

Just a HIGHER standard for what I give my amazing sexuality to.

Fake cam girls aren’t good enough.

A lady I’ll never meet or have a real connection with is a non-option.

I started seeing myself as a PRIZE not available to the lowest bidder.

I started valuing REAL intimacy over FAKE intimacy and seeing MYSELF as the creator of it.

3: I Stopped Outsourcing My Power

Accountability partners, app blockers, guilt trips, praying…

They never helped me break porn addiction.

Why?

Because they relied on things OUTSIDE me for accountability.

What finally worked?

Holding myself to my own INTERNAL standards…even when no one was watching.

Living to my INTERNAL standards produced feelings of self-respect, integrity, and confidence.

I have to wake up with myself for the rest of my life.

I love being able to look at myself in the mirror with pride.

I value this feeling MORE than then the “quick fix” porn offered.

Until you find something you value MORE than what porn offers, its chains will hold you prisoner.

That’s my challenge for you.

What will you not settle for less than?

4: I Transmuted My Energy

I didn’t try to shut off my sex drive to break porn addiction.

I redirected it into my relationships, my work, my health, my mission.

Porn was a dead-end.

Real life? Real connection? Real creation?

That takes all the balls I’ve got.

The feeling of intense, raging horniness without release became something I looked forward to.

It’s what gave me the stamina to listen to my partner when she needed to talk on and on.

I remind myself, “This is what it feels like when I’m powerful enough to create something I never otherwise would have had the stamina to create.”

I practice breathing up the front of my body, pulling that power away from my balls and into my eyes and mind.

It gives me a mental edge.

It makes my face bright and potent.

Ladies are drawn to my pheromones.

I have the energy for adventure, and to stay present when my partner needs me to be her rock.

If you want MORE money, MORE love, MORE freedom, you can’t make sexually sedated, limp-dick efforts.

You have to face whatever terrifies you the most.

The thing that’s blocking your cash flow or best life.

If you are going to bed with blue balls, then you are not facing big enough problems during the day that use your energy up.

What You Can Do Next If You Want To Break Porn Addiction

If trying to break porn addiction is stealing your energy, your focus, your fire…

You don’t need more shame or regret.

It’s 100% possible to kiss porn goodbye and become a man you’re proud of.

Not because someone told you to.

But because you finally chose to.

The masculine confidence framework I take men through gets you in touch with your inner power.

Until you stop letting things outside you control you, you’ll keep trying to shut off the very thing you need to sit with.

You’ll keep holding things outside you (like your wife) responsible for the tension in your body.

This is YOUR tension, YOUR body.

Being able to sit with tension is how great men move through life, creating “impossible” things.

Would you like to be that kind of man?

April 10, 2025
If I Give Her Space, Won’t We Drift Apart?
If your wife asks you to give her space, it didn’t come out of nowhere. By the time she gets to this point, she’s already been emotionally detaching for months, maybe even years. And most men don’t realize it until it’s too late.

Today, we’re going deeper into the three stages of detachment a woman goes through before she ends a relationship.

If you don’t catch it early, you’ll find yourself blindsided when she finally says, “I need space.”

I’m not talking about the kind of “space” where she’s just tired tonight; I’m talking about when she’s considering divorce.

1. Emotional Detachment

This is the first and most subtle stage leading up to your wife needing space

It’s also the easiest to miss.

Emotional detachment begins when she stops feeling seen, heard, or valued in the relationship.

Her emotional needs aren’t being met, and over time, her heart starts to close off.

This doesn’t happen overnight.

She used to share her thoughts, feelings, and worries with you.

But now? She keeps them to herself.

Bringing up the little things no longer happens because she’s already convinced herself you won’t understand.

At this stage, you might notice:
- She’s less engaged in conversations.
- She stops initiating affection or spending quality time.
- She’s quick to get irritated over small things.
- She begins focusing more on her friends, work, hobbies, or anything but you.
2. Spiritual Detachment

Once she emotionally detaches, she starts seeing a future without you.

This is when she stops believing in “us.”

Women stay in relationships when they feel a deep sense of trust and emotional safety.

Not just physically, but spiritually.

When that’s gone, she starts to imagine what life would be like without you.

She stops picturing you in her future and instead, envisions her life alone or with someone who actually listens when she talks about her day.

Signs of spiritual detachment include:
- She stops making long-term plans with you.
- She avoids deep conversations about the future.
- She doesn’t care to argue anymore (because she’s already mentally checking out).
- She’s indifferent to your efforts to “fix” things.
3. Physical Detachment

By the time she physically detaches, she’s already gone in her mind.

Her body follows what her heart has been feeling for months or years.

This is when she stops wanting to be touched, avoids intimacy, moves into another room, or moves out of the house entirely.

At this stage, if you try to force closeness, it only reinforces her belief that you don’t understand her.

She sees it as pressure, not love;

Kind of like when a salesman follows you around a store even after you’ve said, “I’m just looking.”

What physical detachment looks like:
- She stops wanting to be intimate or withdraws from sex.
- She recoils from physical touch.
- She prefers to be alone rather than spend time together.
- She starts sleeping separately (or expresses a desire to move out).
Don’t Fear Drifting Apart, Give Her Space

Most men react to their wife’s withdrawal by chasing her harder.

They try to fix things, talk it out, or prove their love through desperate gestures.

But that only makes things worse.

Instead of chasing, you need to shift your focus inward.
- Detach from needing her validation. If your happiness depends on her affection, she will feel pressured and suffocated.
- Rebuild your sense of self. Who are you without the marriage? What makes you excited about life outside of her?
- Respect the space she needs. Giving her space isn’t about losing her, it’s about creating an opportunity for her to miss you.
Give Her Space By Removing Pressure

If your wife is asking for space, it’s because she feels overwhelmed by pressure.

The pressure can be from the relationship or life in general.

Your job isn’t to fix it right now.

Your job is to become the kind of man who is steady, secure, and capable of standing strong, so you don’t add to the pressure.

I can show you how.
February 28, 2025
Failing Marriage? 2 Mistakes Successful Men in Their 40s Make

Are you a man who is highly successful everywhere in life yet finds yourself in a failing marriage? I will show you a clear path to achieving the same success in your marriage that you’ve mastered in other areas of your life.

Why Are Most Men Blindsided By Their Failing Marriage?

By your 40s, the sheer amount of effort you’ve poured into your business or career starts to show.

The early days of marriage when pennies were pinched have faded and basic life expenses are no longer a stress.

You hoped that years of hard work and sacrifice would pay off, allowing you to enjoy a fulfilling life with your wife for the long term

But now that you stand at the best point in life to begin this epic chapter, why doesn’t she doesn’t seem interested or engaged?

All too common, your years of labor have taken a toll on the marriage, and a distance has grown with her.

It can feel like she has a separate life, one filled with routines and friends you know nothing about.

The story below tells how a man named David found himself in this exact situation and what he did to turn it around.

David’s Success At Work Didn’t Equal Success At Home

David stood in his office, staring out the window.

His mind was usually absorbed in work.

Today, however, it was consumed with thoughts of Chelsie, his wife of 18 years.

At work, everything was clear.

He set high standards, monitored performance, and got results.

But at home, his system was failing.

Chelsie’s cold shoulder had started months ago.

At first, David ignored it, thinking it would pass.

But she stayed distant.

She avoided his touch, brushed off his attempts to connect, and barely talked about her day.

Frustrated, David had told her many times, “This is unacceptable! I need love and affection in this marriage! What is your problem?”

Each time, it only made things worse.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need,” Chelsie snapped one evening.

Her words stuck with him.

Why couldn’t she just tell him what was wrong so they could fix their failing marriage?

He managed dozens of people at work, each with their own needs, and got them to perform.

Why couldn’t Chelsie do the same?

David sighed and turned away from the window.

Deep down, he knew the answer.

Chelsie wasn’t one of his employees.

She was his wife, his source of love. The one person he knew could shake his confidence.

Women Struggle To Feel Affection For A Man Who Fears Her

At work, David felt in control.

He could fire underperformers or change strategies without hesitation.

But at home, Chelsie’s rejection cut deep.

Her coldness made him feel small, like he wasn’t enough.

That fear paralyzed him.

David had spent months focusing on what he didn’t like in their marriage.

He pointed out her flaws and told her she was wrong for shutting him out.

But he never thought about what she needed.

His critical thinking was his strength at work, but it was failing him at home.

The truth was, Chelsie didn’t want a manager.

She wanted a lover.

She wanted the playful, relaxed man she had married.

The David who made her laugh, wasn’t afraid of her moods, and didn’t treat their relationship like a quarterly project.

That version of David had been buried under his drive for success.

He was so focused on work that he lost touch with the fun, loving side of himself who could enjoy the moment.

Deep down, there were many things Chelsie wanted to share with David, but she knew her true feelings would be met by his frustration or need to fix them.

David feared her feelings, and he feared losing intimacy… a power Chelise didn’t want to have over him.

Like darkness slowly enveloping her, Chelsie’s affectionate feelings for David diminished as he continued to hold her responsible for his frustration.

2 Hidden Mistakes Successful Men Make At Home

Whenever I’ve coached highly successful men, I’ve noticed two common mistakes.

The first mistake is that we think our wife’s cold reactions are unfair to what we’ve provided.

We look at our list of amazing things we’ve done, analyze her current reaction, and then think, “This doesn’t add up!! I’m doing my part, why aren’t you doing yours?”

If we can leave our calculator brain at the office for a moment, we can start to see how our wife’s reactions are EXACTLY what they are supposed to be.

Imagine how different you would respond if you really believed that her feelings were exactly what she was supposed to feel and she was reacting to them the best she could.

The 2nd mistake I see highly successful men make is that we think our money, house, wife, and frequency of sex are confirmation of our success in life.

I fell into this category hard in my marriage.

The moment my cash flow, household, or love life changed, I was a frazzled wreck.

I expected my wife to “mommy” my frustration so I could feel strong enough to take on the world.

“Mommy” looked like her making a warm meal, washing my socks, and listening to me talk on and on about my problems.

If we want an intimate, sexual relationship with a woman, we cannot make her our mommy.

When a man internalizes his sense of confidence and well-being, he won’t react to his wife as David did, which drove love and affection right out of his relationship.

He won’t need a mommy to make him feel better.

How Did David Save His Failing Marriage?

That evening, David sat in the living room.

For the first time in months, he ignored his work emails.

He thought about Chelsie’s words: “I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need.”

Those words hurt, but they also challenged him.

Could he see past his frustration and fear?

Could he show her, not tell her, that he cared?

David knew it wouldn’t be easy.

He’d have to face his fear of rejection and let go of control.

But if he approached her with empathy instead of criticism, maybe he could break through.

Maybe he could melt the icy wall between them.

He closed his eyes and pictured Chelsie’s smile.

He remembered the way her eyes lit up when he walked into the room.

That’s what he wanted to see again.

For the first time in months, he decided to stop pointing out what she did wrong.

Instead, he would SHOW her what he wanted their love to be like.

His first step was to not react, but listen when she made small bids for conversation.

Within a few weeks, they were back to laughing and enjoying each other’s company!

How did David turn around his failing marriage?

Ask him and he’ll say –“I internalized my self-confidence & stopped fearing the reactions of the woman I love”.

How To Become The Confidant Man Your Wife Needs

Over the last three weeks, four of my 1:1 clients have told me, “Holy cow, my marriage has done a full 180!”

These are highly successful men who have learned how to not settle for the status quo while also not being a controlling jerk.

I can teach you how to be a man with a solid spine and a soft heart.

January 2, 2025
How To Never Be Rejected For Sex Again

Many men are rejected for sex without realizing how they are preventing the intimacy they crave. Dive into this article or watch the video below to discover why women are drawn to men who can face rejection with confidence.

Men Who Act Frustrated When Rejected For Sex Experience A Snowball Effect of Rejection

Rejection by your wife can be frustrating.

This frustration can push her further away, creating a never-ending cycle of more rejection.

When our sexual energy is pent-up, it can feel like a problem that needs an immediate solution.

Being wildly horny in itself isn’t the problem.

How we act when we feel urgent is what turns your wife off.

Although an orgasm seems like an obvious solution, anytime you act desperate, needy, demanding, or mopey, you are putting negative pressure on your wife.

Negative pressure is a HUGE libido killer for women.

Sexually frustrated men tend to use their own level of desire to determine if they should initiate intimacy.

This also leads to more rejection.

Our wife can sense if we are trying to make love because WE can’t handle our own instincts, or if we are initiating because SHE is ripe for engaging it.

Acting on our feelings with no awareness of her emotional state is a guaranteed path to rejection.

She Wants Intimacy With A Man Who Holds His Agency

I used to believe that my feelings were my wife’s job to take care of.

If I was hungry, she should feed me.

If I was horny, she should make love to me.

This mindset made me feel like a victim of her moods and dependent on her for my happiness.

Making others responsible for how we feel is a path to codependency, victimhood, and a sense of neediness.

A man who takes responsibility for his own feelings talks differently.

He won’t say, “You’re making me angry,” he will say, “I feel my anger”.

A man who plays the victim will say things like, “That person is making me feel disrespected”.

A man who owns his agency will say, “My thoughts about that person are making me feel disrespected”.

Men who hold their agency are attractive to women.

Your wife wants to feel that you can hold your emotions AND her emotions without losing your agency.

How To Stop Getting Rejected For Sex

Imagine there is a green light and a red light on every woman’s forehead.

If you try to initiate physical intimacy with your wife when the light is red, it will push her away.

My advice?

ONLY INITIATE WHEN HER LIGHT IS GREEN.

Nearly every guy I coach who is frustrated in the bedroom is initiating when she’s giving clear signals to stop.

We can’t turn her red light green by getting all cuddly and affectionate with her.

A woman’s desire for intimacy comes in seasons, and she can’t just flip a switch to turn it on.

There’s no use in getting upset with her season, just like there’s no use in getting upset if it’s summer or winter.

There is an irony to this.

When we are happy, inspired, successful, and fun without her giving us sex, the sooner her season changes.

If you struggle to know when her light is green, read my article “6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom“.

How To Stop Acting Like A Sexually Frustrated Man

Women are not attracted to horny, sexually frustrated men.

But they are attracted to sexy men!

So what’s the difference?

Horny, sexually frustrated men can’t handle discomfort.

Sexy men face discomfort.

Horny, sexually frustrated men act impulsively.

Sexy men act deliberately.

Many horny, sexually frustrated men think they need sex 3 or 5 times a day.

Here’s the truth.

When you have BETTER sex, you’ll crave sex less.

Better sex is enthusiastic, wild, connected, and erotic.

Before we can have better sex, we first need to build emotional intimacy with our partner.

Not taking things personally and tuning into her emotions to validate them is how she feels emotional intimacy.

In my coaching, I teach you how to THINK to feel empowered by things that used to drive you crazy.

Don’t believe this helps?

Right now, imagine biting into a freshly cut lemon… Imagine your teeth squeezing the tart juice out as it drips down your lips… Did your mouth start to water?

Your mouth is watering because of the THOUGHT you just fed in your mind.

Sexually frustrated men need to feed new thoughts!

I’ll show you how.

August 19, 2024
What To Do When Your Wife Is Upset
It’s tempting to tiptoe around topics when your wife is upset. You want to keep the peace, so you try to avoid conflict. Here’s a story illustrating why being indirect and avoiding things creates MORE issues in relationships.

Trying To Keep The Peace Can Backfire

When Bill was a kid, his grandfather (rest his soul) gave him some advice.

The advice was, “If you want to get along with others, don’t ever bring up religion or politics.”

Bill’s 8-year-old brain tucked this advice away.

A few decades later, Bill regularly applied his grandfather’s advice in his marriage.

He and his wife, Christy, had opposite political views.

His grandfather’s advice certainly helped keep the peace with Christy… until it didn’t!

One evening, during an election year, Christy’s Facebook feed was flooded with dicey political topics.

As she read through her feed, she got really worked up.

She turned to Bill and said, “Anyone who votes for the other party is no friend of mine.”

She looked at Bill, waiting for him to agree.

Bill was silent.

“Wait,” she said.

“You wouldn’t vote for THAT party, would you?” she asked.

Bill felt cornered, knowing he would vote for the candidate she disapproved of.

He could say otherwise and lie, but that went against his morals.

Or he could tell her the truth, but that would make him “no friend of hers.”

He chose to say nothing.

Christy didn’t buy it.

“You WOULD vote for them, wouldn’t you??” she demanded.

Bill was busted.

His wife was upset.

Even though his mouth was closed, she could read his face.

A huge argument ensued.

Christy insisted that she would not respect anyone who voted for the opposing party, and they could not remain in her life.

They both went to bed frustrated that night.

Bill feared his marriage might be in jeopardy, and rightly so!

Knowing how to manage “dammed if I do, dammed if I don’t” situations is a critical skill for marriage to work.

What To Say When Your Wife Is Upset

Speaking up in itself isn’t the answer.

Neither is keeping secrets, hoping not to rock the boat.

It’s HOW we speak up and HOW we listen that does all the talking.

The advice Bill’s grandpa gave only addressed the 1st level of managing conflicting views.

There is a 2nd level that can be reached with your wife by using a skill I call “finding the shared value”.

For example, let’s say your wife is upset because she wants to build a career.

You are adamant that she should be a homemaker.

Even if you say nothing, she will feel your displeasure in your tone and demeanor whenever she pursues her career.

Most of her reactions towards you will grow and worsen over time because she can sense that you don’t have her back.

On the flip side, if you voice your opinions about her career, a stalemate will likely ensue since you would be leading her to a level 1 conversation.

You can initiate a level 2 conversation by steering the discussion towards the values influencing her perspective.

Perhaps, in this case, she values financial stability or giving the kids a good life.

These might be values you have to!

In a level 1 conversation, you would be arguing about surface-level issues that seem to oppose themselves.

In a level 2 conversation, you would both feel closer and in harmony since you’re talking about values you both share.

You would be shocked at how often a woman will change her course when she feels understood and supported on a value level.

When a confident husband knows how to positively lead
level 2 conversations, his wife will many times follow
his leadership into the amazing marriage he envisions.

Once you become confident and skillful at level 2 conversations, you will intuitively know what to say when your wife is upset.

How To Lead Deeper, More Connecting Conversations

The biggest thing I see preventing men from leading deeper (level 2) conversations with their wives is taking conflict personally.

If you get flustered when your wife is upset, you can’t lead a deeper conversation with her.

I teach you how to find values and how to face conflict in my masculine confidence framework

Many of my clients have seen their wives demeanor change when they improved their masculine confidence and started taking the lead!

My framework best helps the man who…
- Has been avoiding conflict and his wife’s moods
- Puts women on a pedestal
- Seeks validation from women (especially through sex)
- Has been letting his wife wear the pants in the relationship
- Struggles to set boundaries
- Can’t calm his sex drive without chasing sex or porn
- Feels defeated or gets mopey if his wife rejects him
- Has been walking on eggshells around his wife
Does this describe you?
August 6, 2024
4 Critical Steps To Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away
Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away happens in stages. Men are affected by heartbreak differently than women, so the steps to heal are a little different. This article and the video below will help you take the right steps to feeling better.

The Pain Of Heartbreak

Loss of appetite.

Tears.

Inability to sleep.

Feeling like a used rag flushed down the toilet.

Nausea.

Shortness of breath.

What a man goes through when the woman he loves divorces him is no joke.

Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away is possible if you follow time-proven steps.

Why Should Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away Be The Focus?

When we’re suffering from the loss of our marriage, we men tend to hyper-focus on ONE thing…getting our wife back!

We think if we could get our wife back, all our suffering would end and the world would feel like a happy place again.

However, making our wife want to be with us is out of our control.

We will get stuck in grief for years if we focus on things we can’t control.

The other problem with focusing on getting our runaway wife back is it leaves us feeling like a powerless victim.

You know a man feels like a powerless victim when he…
- Complains about his situation
- Blames others for the choices he “had” to make
- Defends why his pain is “different” from what other men face
- Argues and raises his voice
- Focuses on all the negative things that make his situation seem “unchangeable.”
- Always brings up his ex in conversation to point out that she left him and why the relationship could’ve been fixed
Many songs have been written about men who pined for a woman who stopped loving him until he died.

Is that any way to live?

Misery puts a dark cloud over life itself.

Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away is 100% in our control, and that is why we must focus on it.

You know a man is staying focused on what’s 100% in his control when he…
- Sees the cup as half full instead of half empty
- Can clearly describe what his bright, amazing, love-filled future will look like
- Stops acting urgent
- No longer holds others responsible to change for his life to be amazing
- Bravely makes BIG, BOLD choices to create what he wants (even if nobody else approves)
- Doesn’t allow fear, loneliness, or desperation to dictate the choices he makes
- Takes full responsibility for how he feels without holding others liable
4 Steps To Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away

1. Come to terms with your denial of reality.

During a marriage, it’s best if we focus on the positives of our partner. However, after divorce, it’s time to notice what was not positive about our wife. We can easily romanticize her, which perpetuates our suffering. Coming to terms with reality means accepting that she isn’t all the amazing things we thought she was. We need to believe that we deserve better. A self-respecting man will not throw himself at a woman who clearly does not love him. The reality we must accept is that she no longer loves us, and clinging to her prevents the love we want from coming into our lives.

2. Go alone in nature and unload all your anger.

We will not be able to heal if we try to suppress our emotions. Go out in nature (far away from people) and fully unload all your anger about the relationship ending. Feel the anger from your head to your toes. An emotion that isn’t fully experienced can fester for decades, keep us stuck, and lead to PTSD. You might find the anger shifts to grief, regret, or resentment. Whatever emerges, get it all out. The goal is to let our body naturally heal by progressing through a whole range of emotions.

3. Grab a journal and vent all your “if onlys” and all the things you wish you could have made your wife understand.

When our wife leaves us, our brain will stew and stew on it, analyzing every angle, desperate to find a fix. Mental exhaustion ensues. It leaves us dazed. We can hardly function at our normal capacity. Use your laptop or journal to unload everything in your brain. Write out all your “if onlys”, “what ifs”, and everything you want to explain to your ex. Do not send her any of your epiphanies! Our subconscious can’t tell if we’re using paper or her as a sounding board. Using paper (instead of her) provides relief as if she were there to listen & understand our perspective.

4. Let yourself grieve the loss

Letting go and grieving the loss of the relationship is the hardest part. Some call this stage “the lament.” A lament is to mourn what we lost, grieve what will never be, and let go of the story we’ve been clinging to. Hanging onto our suffering does not prove our love for her! I’ve found self-love meditations to be very healing during this stage, along with doing shadow work. It’s important to build a support system during this time, preferably with men who understand your pain and can empathize with how it feels.

Your Personal Guide To Heal A Broken Heart

Acceptance is the only path to having a meaningful, happy life, even when life hands us lemons.

Once we reach acceptance, we can look forward and create a new chapter that’s BETTER than the one we just closed.

In my book, “A Man’s Vital Guide To Healing Grief” I give a blueprint you can follow to put your broken heart back together and reach acceptance.

I’ve had my heart broken more than once.

In my book, I wrote down every step I took to recover so you can have a clear path to follow.

You know this book will help if you…
- Wake up at night in a panic that your wife is gone
- Feel miserable when you see other couples kiss or hold hands
- Cannot imagine yourself ever attending a wedding again
- Have lost your will to keep going
- Feel everything (even your job) is pointless
Chapter 9 provides a link to get a FREE copy of my “healing loneliness” meditations, along with videos and digital resources.

Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away can be hindered if we keep holding onto the pain.

It’s paradoxical, but letting go of the pain feels like letting go of her.

Part of us doesn’t want to let go, because it feels like we’re giving up or letting her off the hook.

I help you overcome problems like this (and many more) in my book.

Click HERE to get a copy.

Reach out if you want personal guidance.
August 2, 2024
How To Make Your Wife Love You Again
Trying to make your wife love you again is like trying to control the weather. You can DO all the right things. SAY all the right stuff. In the end, her feelings are what they are. So what is in your control? Even though you can’t control her feelings, you can control whether you are the kind of man women are attracted to.

What Women Need To Feel In Love

A few days ago, Google directed a man to my blog because he had a heartfelt question.

His question was, “Can you make your wife love you again?”

No doubt his story is much like yours or mine.

He remembers when his wife used to respond affectionately to his touch.

She would smile when he entered the room.

Her love motivated him to work hard at his job and remain committed to the relationship.

But over the years, something changed.

Now, a small peck on her cheek annoys her.

Placing his hand on her leg makes her tense up.

He’s met with excuses when he tries to initiate sex with her.

He hoped this was just a phase, but over the months, it has only gotten worse.

Today, he’s wondering if she will ever love him enough to engage in the intimate, respectful, nurturing relationship he craves to have with her.

You see, even if you DO all the right things in your relationship, if you make your wife feel disconnected, pressured, or criticized, you can kiss intimacy goodbye.

Without a consistent experience of emotional safety and connection with you, she won’t feel safe enough to expose her intimate side.

Building Connection, Trust, & Emotional Safety With Your Wife

We men tend to focus on what needs to change about our wives for the relationship to work.

Who she is helps us decide if the relationship is worth our effort or not.

But we don’t realize that a lot of how she is comes as a reaction to what it’s like to be around us.

If we defend, explain, or try to use logic to fix her emotions whenever she shares something with us, it communicates that we are insecure in ourselves.

It also communicates that we can’t see past our own discomfort to connect with her feelings.

This makes us feel boyish and like a powerless victim to her.

It should go without saying that being a victim or acting boyish isn’t the path to building a better connection with your wife.

Criticizing her moods, arguing, walking on eggshells, or being resentful doesn’t help either.

If we take a closer look at ourselves, we might find even deeper issues.

Issues such as…
- Feeling like a failure
- Aversion to conflict
- A knee-jerk response to people-please
- Doing things with hidden expectations
These deeper personal issues are what you need to resolve to have a meaningful emotional connection with your wife.

This connection is critical in a long-term relationship.

Without it, she won’t be able to trust herself to be soft and affectionate around you.

What’s 100% In Your Control Right Now?

There are 3 zones in life…
1. What’s out of our control
2. What’s under our influence
3. What’s in our control
Happiness, confidence, clear boundaries, and mojo only come from staying focused on things 100% in your control.

Your wife’s feelings are under your influence, not under your control.

Whenever I speak to a man who is frustrated, lonely, upset, rejected, or in panic mode, it’s because he’s been focusing on things that are either out of his control or only under his influence.

When I’m coaching a man who doesn’t know what to do next in his relationship (limbo) it’s usually because he hasn’t forged an internal masculine frame that is 100% in his control.

Our masculine frame is our blueprint to follow!

Although this sounds like simple advice, many of us didn’t know HOW to build a masculine frame that is 100% in our control before our marriage called for it.

A Call To Confidence

If you have a blueprint or a compass to follow, you will always know how to respond to things like being rejected for sex, marriage limbo, or the uncertainty of her feelings.

Hint: Her feelings are not your compass.

Last year, a man we’ll call John, joined one of my group courses where I teach my masculine confidence framework.

John was down in the dumps.

He and his wife hadn’t had sex in many months.

His wife was unsure if she could continue in their marriage of 25+ years.

6 weeks into the course, everything changed for John!

He learned how to have his own compass to follow even when his wife was withdrawn or emotional.

He learned how to give her emotional space without walking on eggshells around her.

The result?

Her passion for him returned!

To this day, they are both loving a brand new version of their marriage!

In my coaching, I train you to forge an internal locus of control.

This means you learn how to respond from the inside out instead of the outside in.

Being this kind of non-reactive man who can be comfortable in his own skin is the only version of yourself your wife can fall back in love with.

Would you like help identifying the underlying issues that are keeping your marriage stuck?
July 30, 2024