Masculine Confidence Framework

Tag: Relationship Advice

  • Kiss Porn Goodbye — What Worked For Me

    Kiss Porn Goodbye — What Worked For Me

    Let’s talk about what it really takes to kiss porn goodbye. This isn’t about making you feel bad.

    It’s not about what’s right or wrong. It’s about not letting anything have control over you.

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    Why I Decided to Kiss Porn Goodbye

    For years, I leaned on porn like a crutch.

    Over and over, I tried to break the habit.

    When my marriage fell apart, I finally got tired of giving my energy to images and videos of women who didn’t love me.

    I wanted something REAL.

    A REAL girl, dripping with desire, craving my touch, and caring about me.

    The truth is, if we say “yes” to fake lovers, by default, we’re saying “no” to the real deal.

    Porn didn’t just kill my time, it drained my confidence to look my wife in the eye with nothing to hide.

    It softened my leadership, fearful I would be found out.

    It disconnected me from my partner by making me defensive about my integrity.

    These behaviors destroyed our sex life.

    Like a bottomless pit that takes but never gives back, porn left me drained of my vitality.  

    It rewired my brain to think I had created a real, loving, connection in my life when I hadn’t created one at all.

    But I wanted to feel alive again.

    I wanted to stop hiding, stop numbing, and kiss porn goodbye for good.

    So here’s what actually worked for me:

    1: I Changed What Horniness Meant

    Feeling horny isn’t a problem.

    You’re supposed to feel attracted to naked women and erotic play.

    You are not broken for waking up with a raging hard-on.

    These are not things to suppress, or make your wife’s responsibility to manage!

    It’s power. It’s drive.

    Old me thought, “I need to release this tension.”

    New me? “This tension is fuel to create, build, and lead.”

    That mindset shift alone made me want to hold my power and love what that tension feels like in my body.

    2: I Defined My Values—In Writing

    Not just in my head. On paper.

    “I’m a man who only gives his amazing sexuality to real women, with real emotions, real problems, real connection.”

    That became my filter.

    Not shame. Not fear. Not web browser filters.

    Just a HIGHER standard for what I give my amazing sexuality to.

    Fake cam girls aren’t good enough.

    A lady I’ll never meet or have a real connection with is a non-option.

    I started seeing myself as a PRIZE not available to the lowest bidder.

    I started valuing REAL intimacy over FAKE intimacy and seeing MYSELF as the creator of it.   

    3: I Stopped Outsourcing My Power

    Accountability partners, app blockers, guilt trips, praying…

    They didn’t work for me long-term.

    Why?

    Because they relied on things OUTSIDE me for accountability.

    What finally worked?

    Holding myself to my own INTERNAL standards…even when no one was watching.

    Living to my INTERNAL standards produced feelings of self-respect, integrity, and confidence.

    I have to wake up with myself for the rest of my life.

    I love being able to look at myself in the mirror with pride.

    I value this feeling MORE than then the “quick fix” porn offered.

    Until you find something you value MORE than what porn offers, its chains will hold you prisoner.

    That’s my challenge for you.

    What will you not settle for less than?

    4: I Transmuted My Energy

    I didn’t try to shut off my sex drive.

    I redirected it into my relationships, my work, my health, my mission.

    Porn was a dead-end.

    Real life? Real connection? Real creation?

    That takes all the balls I’ve got.

    The feeling of intense, ragging horniness without release became something I looked forward to.

    I remind myself, “This is what it feels like when I’m powerful enough to create something I never otherwise would have had the stamina to create.”

    I practice breathing up the front of my body, pulling that power away from my balls and into my eyes and mind.

    It gives me a mental edge.

    It makes my face bright and potent.  

    Ladies are drawn to my pheromones.

    I have the energy for adventure, and to stay present when my partner needs me to be her rock.

    If you want MORE money, MORE love, MORE freedom, you can’t make sexually sedated, limp-dick efforts.

    You have to face whatever terrifies you the most.

    The thing that’s blocking your cash flow or best life.

    If you are going to bed with blue balls, then you are not facing big enough problems during the day that scare the shit out of you.

    What You Can Do Next If You Want To Kiss Porn Goodbye

    If porn is stealing your energy, your focus, your fire…

    You don’t need more shame or regret.

    It’s 100% possible to kiss porn goodbye and become a man you’re proud of.

    Not because someone told you to.

    But because you finally chose to.

    The masculine confidence framework I take men through gets you in touch with your inner power.

    Until you stop letting things outside you control you, you’ll keep trying to shut off the very thing you need to sit with.

    You’ll keep holding things outside you (like your wife) responsible for the tension in your body.

    This is YOUR tension, YOUR body.

    Being able to sit with tension is how great men move through life creating “impossible” things.

    Would you like to be that kind of man?

  • If I Give Her Space, Won’t We Drift Apart?

    If I Give Her Space, Won’t We Drift Apart?

    If your wife asks you to give her space, it didn’t come out of nowhere. By the time she gets to that point, she’s already been emotionally detaching for months—maybe even years. And most men don’t realize it until it’s too late.

    Today, we’re going deeper into the three stages of detachment a woman goes through before she ends a relationship.

    If you don’t catch it early, you’ll find yourself blindsided when she finally says, “I need space.”

    I’m not talking about the kind of “space” where she’s just tired tonight, I’m talking about when she’s considering divorce.

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    1. Emotional Detachment

    This is the first and most subtle stage—and also the easiest to miss.

    Emotional detachment begins when she stops feeling seen, heard, or valued in the relationship.

    Her emotional needs aren’t being met, and over time, her heart starts to close off.

    This doesn’t happen overnight.

    She used to share her thoughts, feelings, and worries with you, but now? She keeps them to herself.

    Bringing up the little things no longer happens because she’s already convinced herself you won’t understand.

    At this stage, you might notice:

    • She’s less engaged in conversations.
    • She stops initiating affection or spending quality time.
    • She’s quick to get irritated over small things.
    • She begins focusing more on her friends, work, or hobbies—anything but you.

    2. Spiritual Detachment

    Once she emotionally detaches, she starts seeing a future without you.

    This is when she stops believing in “us.”

    Women stay in relationships when they feel a deep sense of trust and emotional safety—not just physically, but spiritually.

    When that’s gone, she starts to imagine what life would be like without you.

    She stops picturing you in her future and instead, envisions her life alone or with someone who actually listens when she talks about her day.

    Signs of spiritual detachment include:

    • She stops making long-term plans with you.
    • She avoids deep conversations about the future.
    • She doesn’t care to argue anymore—because she’s already mentally checking out.
    • She’s indifferent to your efforts to “fix” things.

    3. Physical Detachment

    By the time she physically detaches, she’s already gone in her mind.

    Her body follows what her heart has been feeling for months or years.

    This is when she stops wanting to be touched, avoids intimacy, and might even move into another room—or out of the house entirely.

    At this stage, if you try to force closeness, it only reinforces her belief that you don’t understand her.

    She sees it as pressure, not love—kind of like when a salesman follows you around a store even after you’ve said, “I’m just looking.”

    What physical detachment looks like:

    • She stops wanting to be intimate or withdraws from sex.
    • She recoils from physical touch.
    • She prefers to be alone rather than spend time together.
    • She starts sleeping separately—or expresses a desire to move out.

    Don’t Fear Drifting Apart— Give Her Space

    Most men react to their wife’s withdrawal by chasing her harder.

    They try to fix things, talk it out, or prove their love through desperate gestures.

    But that only makes things worse.

    Instead of chasing, you need to shift your focus inward.

    • Detach from needing her validation. If your happiness depends on her affection, she will feel pressured and suffocated.
    • Rebuild your sense of self. Who are you without the marriage? What makes you excited about life outside of her?
    • Respect the space she needs. Giving her space isn’t about losing her—it’s about creating an opportunity for her to miss you.

    The Bottom Line: Give Her Space, Gain Clarity

    If she’s asking for space, it’s because she feels overwhelmed by pressure—whether from the relationship or from her own emotions.

    Your job isn’t to fix it right now.

    Your job is to become the kind of man who is steady, secure, and capable of standing strong, even when things feel uncertain.

    I go deeper into this in my book, How High-Achieving Men In Their 40s Can Restore Passionate Intimacy With Their Wife of 18 Plus Years.

    You can grab a free copy HERE.

    Breathe.

    Trust the process.

    You got this.

    Garrett Prettyman

  • Failing Marriage? 2 Mistakes Successful Men in Their 40s Make

    Failing Marriage? 2 Mistakes Successful Men in Their 40s Make

    Are you a man who is highly successful everywhere in life yet finds yourself in a failing marriage? I will show you a clear path to achieving the same success in your marriage that you’ve mastered in other areas of your life.

    Why Are Most Men Blindsided By Their Failing Marriage?

    By our 40s, the sheer amount of effort we’ve poured into our business or career starts to show.

    The early days of marriage when pennies were pinched have faded and basic life expenses are no longer a stress.

    We hoped that years of hard work and sacrifice would pay off, allowing us to enjoy a fulfilling life with our wife for the long term

    But now that we stand at the best point in life to begin this epic chapter, why doesn’t she doesn’t seem interested or engaged?

    All too common, our years of labor have taken a toll on the marriage and a distance has grown with her.

    It can feel like she has a separate life, one filled with routines and friends we know nothing about.

    The story below tells how a man named David found himself in this exact situation and what he did to turn it around.

    David’s Success At Work Didn’t Equal Success At Home

    David stood in his office, staring out the window.

    His mind was usually absorbed in work.

    Today, however, it was consumed with thoughts of Chelsie, his wife of 18 years.

    At work, everything was clear.

    He set high standards, monitored performance, and got results.

    But at home, his system was failing.

    Chelsie’s cold shoulder had started months ago.

    At first, David ignored it, thinking it would pass.

    But she stayed distant.

    She avoided his touch, brushed off his attempts to connect, and barely talked about her day.

    Frustrated, David had told her many times, “This is unacceptable! I need love and affection in this marriage! What is your problem?”

    Each time, it only made things worse.

    “I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need,” Chelsie snapped one evening.

    Her words stuck with him.

    Why couldn’t she just tell him what was wrong so they could fix their failing marriage?

    He managed dozens of people at work, each with their own needs, and got them to perform.

    Why couldn’t Chelsie do the same?

    David sighed and turned away from the window.

    Deep down, he knew the answer.

    Chelsie wasn’t one of his employees.

    She was his wife, his source of love—the one person he knew could shake his confidence.

    Women Struggle To Feel Affection For A Man Who Fears Her

    At work, David felt in control.

    He could fire underperformers or change strategies without hesitation.

    But at home, Chelsie’s rejection cut deep.

    Her coldness made him feel small, like he wasn’t enough.

    That fear paralyzed him.

    David had spent months focusing on what he didn’t like in their marriage.

    He pointed out her flaws and told her she was wrong for shutting him out.

    But he never thought about what she needed.

    His critical thinking—his strength at work—was failing him at home.

    The truth was, Chelsie didn’t want a manager.

    She wanted a lover.

    She wanted the playful, relaxed man she had married.

    The David who made her laugh, wasn’t afraid of her moods, and didn’t treat their relationship like a quarterly project.

    That version of David had been buried under his drive for success.

    He was so focused on work that he lost touch with the fun, loving side of himself.

    Deep down, there were many things Chelsie wanted to share with David but she knew her true feelings would be met by his frustration or need to fix them.

    David feared her feelings and he feared losing intimacy – a power Chelise didn’t want to have over him.

    Like darkness slowly enveloping her, Chelsie’s affectionate feelings for David diminished as he continued to hold her responsible for his frustration.

    2 Hidden Mistakes Successful Men Make At Home

    Whenever I’ve coached highly successful men, I’ve noticed two common mistakes.

    The first mistake is we think our wife’s cold reactions are unfair to what we’ve provided.

    We look at our list of amazing things we’ve done, analyze her current reaction, and then think, “This doesn’t add up!!”

    If we can leave our calculator brain at the office for a moment, we can start to see how our wife’s reactions are EXACTLY what they are supposed to be.

    Imagine how different you would respond if you really believed that her feelings were exactly what she was supposed to feel and she was reacting to them the best she could.

    The 2nd mistake I see highly successful men make is we think our money, house, wife, and frequency of sex are confirmation of our success in life.

    I fell into this category hard in my marriage.

    The moment my cash flow, household, or love life changed, I was a frazzled wreck.

    I expected my wife to “mommy” my frustration so I could feel strong enough to take on the world.

    If we want an intimate, sexual relationship with a woman, we cannot make her our mommy.

    When a man INTERNERALIZES his sense of confidence and well-being, he won’t react to his wife as David did, which drove love and affection right out of his relationship.

    How Did David Save His Failing Marriage?

    That evening, David sat in the living room.

    For the first time in months, he ignored his work emails.

    He thought about Chelsie’s words: “I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need.”

    They hurt, but they also challenged him.

    Could he see past his frustration and fear?

    Could he show her, not tell her, that he cared?

    David knew it wouldn’t be easy.

    He’d have to face his fear of rejection and let go of control.

    But if he approached her with empathy instead of criticism, maybe he could break through.

    Maybe he could melt the icy wall between them.

    He closed his eyes and pictured Chelsie’s smile.

    He remembered the way her eyes lit up when he walked into the room.

    That’s what he wanted to see again.

    For the first time in months, he decided to stop pointing out what she did wrong.

    Instead, he would SHOW her what he wanted their love to be.

    His first step was to not react, but listen when she made small bids for conversation.

    Within a few weeks, they were back to laughing and enjoying each other’s company!

    How did David turn around his failing marriage?

    Ask him and he’ll say –“I internalized my self-confidence & stopped fearing the woman I love”.

    How To Become The Confidant Man Your Wife Needs

    Over the last Three weeks, four of my 1:1 clients have told me, “Holy cow, my marriage has done a full 180!”

    These are highly successful men who have learned how to not settle for the status quo while also not being a controlling jerk.

    In my masculine confidence framework, I teach you how to be a man with a solid spine and a soft heart.

    Book a free Get Grounded Now call and we’ll have an amazing 60 minute chat so I can better understand your situation and give you clear steps to take.

    Stay grounded brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • Why Sexually Frustrated Men Experience Rejection More Often

    Why Sexually Frustrated Men Experience Rejection More Often

    Many sexually frustrated men don’t realize how they are preventing the intimacy they crave! Dive into this article or watch the video below to discover why women are drawn to confident, powerful men—not those who are sexually frustrated.

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    Sexually Frustrated Men Experience A Snowball Affect Of Rejection

    Rejection from our wife can be frustrating, and this frustration can push her further away, creating a never-ending cycle of more rejection.

    When our sexual energy is pent-up, it can feel like a problem that needs an immediate solution.

    Being wildly horny in itself isn’t the problem.

    How we act when we feel urgent is what turns our wife off.   

    Although an orgasm seems like an obvious solution, anytime we act desperate, needy, demanding, or mopey we are putting negative pressure on our wife.

    Negative pressure is a HUGE libido killer for women.

    Sexually frustrated men tend to use their own level of desire to determine if they should initiate intimacy.

    This also leads to more rejection.

    Our wife can sense if we are trying to make love because WE can’t handle our own instincts or if we are initiating because SHE is ripe for engaging it.

    Acting on our feelings with no awareness of her emotional state is a guaranteed path to rejection.

    She Wants Intimacy With A Man Who Holds His Power

    I used to believe that my feelings were my wife’s job to take care of.

    If I was hungry, she should feed me.

    If I was horny, she should make love to me.

    This mindset made me feel like a victim of her moods and dependent on her for my happiness.

    Making others responsible for how we feel is a path to codependence, victimhood, neediness, and loss of power.

    A man who takes responsibility for his own feelings talks differently.

    He won’t say, “You’re making me angry” he will say, “I feel my anger”.

    A man who gives his power away will say things like, “That person is making me feel disrespected”.

    A man who holds his power will say, “My thoughts about that person are making me feel disrespected”.

    Men who hold their power are attractive to women.

    Your wife wants to sense that you can hold your emotions AND her emotions without giving your power away.

    How To Stop Getting Rejected

    Imagine there is a green light and a red light on every woman’s forehead.

    If we try to initiate physical intimacy with our wife when the light is red, it will push her away.

    My advice?

    ONLY INITIATE WHEN HER LIGHT IS GREEN.

    Nearly every guy I coach who is frustrated in the bedroom is initiating when she’s giving clear signals to stop.

    We can’t turn her red light green by getting all cuddly and affectionate with her.

    A woman’s desire for intimacy comes in seasons and she can’t just flip a switch to turn it on.

    There’s no use in getting upset with her season, just like there’s no use in getting upset if it’s summer or winter.

    There is an irony to this.

    When we are happy, inspired, successful, and fun without her giving us sex the sooner her season changes.

    If you struggle to know when her light is green, read my article “6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom“.

    How To Stop Acting Like Horny, Sexually Frustrated Men

    Women are not attracted to horny, sexually frustrated men but they are attracted to sexy men.

    Horny men can’t handle discomfort.

    Sexy men face discomfort.

    Horny men act impulsively.

    Sexy men act deliberately.

    Many “horny” men think they need sex 3 or 5 times a day.

    Here’s the truth.

    When we have BETTER sex, we crave sex less.

    Better sex is enthusiastic, wild, connected, and erotic.

    Before we can have better sex, we first need to lead emotional intimacy with our partner.  

    Not taking things personally and tuning into her emotions to validate them is how she feels emotional intimacy.  

    In my coaching, I teach you how to THINK to feel empowered by things that used to drive you crazy.

    Don’t believe this helps?

    Right now, imagine biting into a freshly cut lemon… Imagine your teeth squeezing the tart juice out as it drips down your lips… Did your mouth start to water?

    Your mouth is watering because of the THOUGHT you just fed in your mind.

    Sexually frustrated men need to feed new thoughts!

    If you want a free consultation about how to stop being a sexually frustrated man in your marriage, fill out my “Get Grounded Now“ form, and let’s talk!

    Be grounded brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • Should We Avoid Topics That Upset Our Wife?

    Should We Avoid Topics That Upset Our Wife?

    If we avoid topics that upset our wife, it will create issues in our marriage. And…speaking up in the wrong way will create even MORE issues. One of the most important areas of CONFIDENCE with any man is knowing, with clear, calm clarity, how to handle uncomfortable conversations with our partners. This article will help you know when you should speak up or shut up.

    Trying To Keep The Peace Can Backfire

    When Bill was a kid, his grandfather (rest his soul) gave him some advice.

    The advice was, “If you want to get along with others, don’t ever bring up religion or politics.”

    Bill’s 8-year-old brain tucked this advice away.

    A few decades later, Bill regularly applied his grandfather’s advice in his marriage.

    He and his wife, Christy, had opposite political views.

    His grandfather’s advice certainly helped keep the peace with Christy… until it didn’t!

    One evening, during an election year, Christy’s Facebook feed was flooded with dicey political topics.

    As she read through her feed, she got really worked up.

    She turned to Bill and said, “Anyone who votes for the other party is no friend of mine.”

    She looked at Bill, waiting for him to agree.

    Bill was silent.

    “Wait,” she said.

    “You wouldn’t vote for THAT party, would you?” she asked.

    Bill felt cornered knowing he would vote for the candidate she disapproved of.

    He could say otherwise and lie, but that went against his morals.

    Or he could tell her the truth, but that would make him “no friend of hers.”

    He chose to say nothing.

    Christy didn’t buy it.

    “You WOULD vote for them, wouldn’t you??” she demanded.

    Bill was busted.

    Even though his mouth was closed, she could read his face.

    A huge argument ensued.

    Christy insisted that she would not respect anyone who voted for the opposing party and they could not remain in her life.

    They both went to bed frustrated that night.

    Bill feared his marriage might be in jeopardy, and rightly so!

    Knowing how to manage “dammed if I do, dammed if I don’t” situations is a critical skill for marriage to work.

    When To Speak Up and When To Shut Up

    What we both know is if we start speaking up instead of shutting up, a whole pile of drama with our wife is likely to ensue.

    This is because “speaking up” in itself isn’t the answer.

    It’s HOW we speak up that does all the talking.

    The advice Bill’s grandpa gave only addressed the 1st level of managing conflicting views. 

    There is a 2nd level that can be reached with your wife by using a skill I call, “finding the shared value”.

    For example, let’s say your wife is adamant about building a career and you are adamant that she should be a homemaker.

    If you shut up about your view, she will feel your displeasure in your tone and demeanor whenever she pursues her career.

    Most of her reactions towards you will grow and worsen over time because she can sense that you don’t have her back.

    On the flip side, if you voice your opinions about her having a career, conflict will likely ensue since you would be leading her to a level 1 conversation.

    You can initiate a level 2 conversation by steering the discussion towards the values influencing her perspective.

    Perhaps, in this case, she values financial stability or giving the kids a good life.

    These might be values you have to!

    In a level 1 conversation, you would be arguing about surface-level issues that seem to oppose themselves.

    In a level 2 conversation, you would both feel closer and in harmony since you’re talking about values you both share.

    You would be shocked how often a woman will change her course when she feels understood and supported.

    When a confident husband knows how to positively lead
    these kinds of conversations, his wife will many times follow
    his leadership into the amazing marriage he envisions.

    Once you become confident and skillful in this situation, you will intuitively know when to speak up or shut up all on your own.

    How You Can Handle Topics That Upset Your Wife

    The biggest thing I see preventing men from leading level 2 conversations with their wives is taking the conflict personally.

    If your wife’s opinions and reactions get you flustered, you can’t lead a deeper conversation with her.

    I teach you how to find values and how to face conflict in my masculine confidence framework

    Many men who have been through my masculine confidence framework have seen their wives demeanor change when they improved their masculine confidence and started taking the lead!

    My framework best helps the man who…

    • Has been avoiding conflict and his wife’s moods
    • Puts women on a pedestal
    • Seeks validation from women (especially through sex)
    • Has been letting his wife wear the pants in the relationship
    • Struggles to set boundaries
    • Can’t calm his sex drive without chasing sex or porn
    • Feels defeated or gets mopy if his wife rejects him
    • Has been walking on eggshells around his wife

    Does this describe you?

    If so, fill out my “Get Grounded Now” consultation form, and let’s talk.

    I can help you get clearer on handling topics that upset your wife.

    Be grounded brother

    Garrett Prettyman

  • 4 Critical Steps To Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away

    4 Critical Steps To Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away

    Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away happens in stages. Men are affected by heartbreak differently than women, so the steps to heal are a little different. This article and video below will help you take the right steps to feeling better.

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    The Pain Of Heartbreak


    Loss of appetite.

    Tears. 

    Inability to sleep.

    Feeling like a used rag flushed down the toilet. 

    Nausea.

    Shortness of breath. 

    What a man goes through when the woman he loves divorces him is no joke. 

    Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away is possible if you follow time-proven steps.

    Why Should Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away Be The Focus?

    When we’re suffering from the loss of our marriage, we men tend to hyper-focus on ONE thing…Getting our wife back!

    We think if we could get our wife back, all our suffering would end and the world would feel like a happy place again.

    However, making our wife want to be with us is out of our control.

    We will get stuck in grief for years if we focus on things we can’t control.

    The other problem with focusing on getting our runaway wife back, is it leaves us feeling like a powerless victim.

    You know a man feels like a powerless victim when he…

    • Complains about his situation
    • Blames others for the choices he “had” to make
    • Defends why his pain is “different” from what other men face
    • Argues and raises his voice
    • Focuses on all the negative things that make his situation seem “unchangeable.”
    • Always brings up his ex in conversation to point out that she left him and why the relationship could’ve been fixed


    Many songs have been written about men who pined for a woman who stopped loving him until he died.

    Misery puts a dark cloud over life itself.

    Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away is 100% in our control, and that is why we must focus on it.

    You know a man is staying focused on what’s 100% in his control when he…

    • Sees the cup as half full instead of half empty
    • Can clearly describe what his bright, amazing, love-filled future will look like
    • Stops acting urgent
    • No longer holds others responsible to change for his life to be amazing
    • Bravely makes BIG, BOLD choices to create what he wants (even if nobody else approves)
    • Doesn’t allow fear, loneliness, or desperation to dictate the choices he makes
    • Takes full responsibility for how he feels without holding others liable

    4 Steps To Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away

    1. Come to terms with your denial of reality.

    During a marriage, it’s best if we focus on the positives of our partner. However, after divorce, it’s time to notice what was not positive about our wife. We can easily romanticize her which perpetuates our suffering. Coming to terms with reality means accepting that she isn’t all the amazing things we thought she was and we deserve better. A self-respecting man will not throw himself at a woman who clearly does not love him. The reality we must accept is that she no longer loves us, and clinging to her prevents the love we want from coming into our lives.

    2. Go alone in nature and unload all your anger.

    We will not be able to heal if we try to suppress our emotions. Go out in nature (far away from people) and fully unload all your anger about the relationship ending. Feel the anger from your head to your toes. An emotion that isn’t fully experienced can fester for decades, keep us stuck, and lead to PTSD. You might find the anger shifts to grief, regret, or resentfulness. Whatever emerges, get it all out. The goal is to let our body naturally heal by progressing through a whole range of emotions.

    3. Grab a journal and vent all your “if onlys” and all the things you wish you could have made your wife understand.

    When our wife leaves us, our brain will stew and stew on it, analyzing every angle, desperate to find a fix.. Mental exhaustion ensues leaving us dazed where we can hardly function at our normal capacity. Use your laptop or journal to unload everything in your brain. Write out all your “if onlys”, “what ifs”, and everything you want to explain to your ex. Do not send her any of your epiphanies! Our subconscious can’t tell if we’re using paper or her as a sounding board. Using paper provides relief as if she was there to listen & understand our perspective.

    4. Let yourself grieve the loss

    Letting go and grieving the loss of the relationship is the hardest part. Some call this stage “the lament” A lament is to mourn what we lost, grieve what will never be, and let go of the story we’ve been clinging to. Hanging onto our suffering does not prove our love for her! I’ve found self-love meditations to be very healing during this stage along with doing shadow work. It’s important to build a support system during this time, preferably with men who understand your pain and can empathize with how it feels.

    Your Personal Guide To Heal A Broken Heart

    Acceptance is the only path to having a meaningful, happy life even when life hands us lemons.

    Once we reach acceptance, we can look forward and create a new chapter that’s BETTER than the one we just closed.

    In my book, “A Man’s Vital Guide To Healing Grief” I give a blueprint you can follow to put your broken heart back together and reach acceptance.

    I’ve had my heart broken more than once.

    In my book, I wrote down every step I took to recover so you can have a clear path to follow.

    You know this book will help you if…

    • You wake up at night in a panic that your wife is gone
    • Feel miserable when you see other couples kiss or hold hands
    • Cannot imagine yourself ever attending a wedding again
    • Have lost your will to keep going
    • Everything (even your job) feels pointless

    Chapter 9 provides a link to get a FREE copy of my “healing loneliness” meditations along with videos and digital resources.

    Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away can be hindered if we keep holding onto the pain.

    It’s paradoxical, but letting go of the pain feels like letting go of her.

    Part of us never wants to let go, because it feels like we’re giving up.

    I help you overcome problems like this (and many more) in my book.  

    Click HERE to get a copy.

    Much love brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • Can You Make Your Wife Love You Again?

    Can You Make Your Wife Love You Again?

    This email explains how we can easily get caught up on surface-level issues in our marriage. Asking if you can make your wife love you again is a surface-level question. We can DO all the right things but that won’t attract our wife’s loving affection if we’re not BEING the kind of man who makes her feel emotionally safe and trusting. Below are three better questions to ask ourselves. These questions will help uncover underlying issues when our wife seems to have lost interest in us.

    1. What Do Women Need To Feel In Love? 

    A few days ago, Google directed a man to my blog because he had a heartfelt question.

    His question was, “Can you make your wife love you again?”

    If you’ve ever wondered if your wife can love you again, you know how he must feel.  

    No doubt his story is much like yours or mine.

    He remembers when his wife used to respond affectionately to his touch and smile when he entered the room.

    Having an intimate and supportive relationship with her probably inspired him to work hard at his job and remain committed to the relationship.

    But over the years, something changed.

    A small peck on her cheek seems to annoy her now.

    Placing his hand on her leg makes her tense up.

    He’s met with excuses when he tries to initiate sex with her.

    He hoped this was just a phase but over the months, it has only got worse.

    Today, he’s wondering if she will ever love him enough to engage in the intimate, respectful, nurturing relationship he craves to have with her.

    Asking if our wife can fall back in love with us is a surface-level question.

    A deeper question is, “What do women need to feel in love?”

    You see, we can DO all the right things in our relationship but if we make her feel disconnected, pressured, or criticized we can kiss intimacy goodbye.

    Without a consistent experience of emotional safety and connection, she won’t feel enough trust to expose her intimate side.

    2. What Limits You From Building Connection, Trust, & Emotional Safety With Your Wife?

    It’s ironic how we, as guys, tend to answer this question the same. 

    We tend to focus on what needs to change about HER (like her state of limbo, irrational thinking, or emotional drama). 

    Another usual response is getting stuck on deciding if the relationship is worth our effort or not.

    These common responses send a message to her that we can’t see past our own discomfort to connect with her feelings.  

    This makes us feel boyish and like a powerless victim to her.

    It should go without saying that being a victim or acting boyish isn’t the path to building a better connection with our wife. 

    Criticizing her moods, arguing, walking on eggshells, and being resentful doesn’t help either. 

    When we look closer at ourselves, we might find even deeper issues.

    When we look closer at ourselves, we might find even deeper issues.

    Issues such as…

    • Feeling like a failure
    • Aversion to conflict
    • A knee-jerk response to people-please

    These deeper personal issues are what we need to focus on to unblock a meaningful emotional connection with our wife. 

    This connection is critical in a long-term relationship.

    Without it, she won’t be able to trust herself to be soft and affectionate towards us.   

    3. What Is 100% In Your Control Right Now?

    There are 3 zones in life… 

    1. What’s out of our control
    2. What’s under our influence
    3. What’s in our control

    Happiness, confidence, clear boundaries, and mojo only come from staying focused on things 100% in our control.

    Our wife’s feelings towards us are under our influence, not under our control.

    Whenever I speak to a man who is frustrated, lonely, upset, rejected, or in panic mode, it’s because he’s been focusing on things that are either out of his control or only under his influence.

    When I’m coaching a man who doesn’t know what to do next in his relationship (limbo) it’s usually because he hasn’t forged an internal masculine frame that is 100% in his control.

    Our masculine frame is our blueprint to follow!

    Although this sounds like simple advice, many of us didn’t know HOW to build a masculine frame that is 100% in our control before our marriage called for it.

    A Call To Confidence

    If we have a blueprint or a “compass” to follow, we will always know how to respond to things like being rejected for sex, marriage limbo, or the uncertainty of her feelings towards us.

    Hint: Her timing or clarity of feelings is not a compass.

    Last year, a man we’ll call John, joined one of my group courses where I teach my masculine confidence framework.

    John was down in the dumps.

    He and his wife hadn’t had sex in many months.

    His wife was unsure if she could continue in their marriage of 25+ years.

    6 weeks into the course, everything changed for John!

    He learned how to have his own compass to follow even when his wife was withdrawn or emotional.

    He learned how to give her emotional space without walking on eggshells around her.

    Her passion for him returned and to this day, they are both loving a brand new version of their marriage!

    When I take you through my masculine confidence framework, I train you to forge an internal locus of control. 

    This means you learn how to respond from the inside out instead of the outside in. 

    Being this kind of non-reactive man who can be comfortable in his own skin is the only version of yourself your wife can fall back in love with.

    Would you like help identifying the underlining issues that are keeping your marriage stuck?

    If so, then fill out my “Get Grounded Now” form for a free consultation.

    Much Love Brother,

    Garrett Prettyman