Tag: save marriage

  • How To Be A More Confident Husband

    How To Be A More Confident Husband

    You’ll want to be a more confident husband when you realize just how dam attractive it is. Feminine women are drawn to confidence like a cat to catnip. This week, one of the men in our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course saw a change in his marriage. His wife (who had been disagreeable and cold) warmed up! Her change was in response to his new calm/understanding masculine frame. This article provides two key ingredients to be a more confident husband, even if your marriage is in distress.   

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    Be A Confident Husband: 2 Key Ingredients

    Love Being A Man

    When your confidence is low, everything feels personal.

    No morning kiss from your wife feels like a nagging stab in your gut.

    Her complaints about the house make you feel like you’re not a good enough provider.

    And when she says she feels emotionally neglected, you want to say, “Wait a minute, how do you think I feel?”

    Unless a marriage is led by a man who is secure in himself, it will eventually disintegrate into blaming and victimhood.

    You don’t need to end up as a divorced, gutted shell of yourself who blames others for your suffering.

    Being more secure and unshakable leaves you with a better life, no matter what.

    You’ll be a more confident husband when you value how you are built as a man.

    Yet, many men quickly lose any sense of confidence when it comes to tension and conflict with their wives.

    One major reason for this is due to BRAIN differences!

    A study at the Brain Science Centre in Minneapolis revealed that a female brain can process data 5 times faster than a male brain.

    This is why it feels like your wife can talk circles around you in an argument.

    It’s why her reactions seem to go in 5 directions all at once.

    That’s cool, though.

    Good for her.

    She’s got a gift you don’t have.

    Don’t fight against it.

    Appreciate it…and realize that YOUR brain has a gift of its own.

    Your brain likes to process data more slowly…at an even pace in a way that makes logical sense to you.

    The data your brain processes needs to pass through various phases of contemplation in your mind before making conclusions.

    It’s a gift and a strength, brother!

    And it’s THAT gift that might make her feel like you’re not listening.

    You might look like a deer caught in the headlights while your brain is processing.

    This is nothing for you to be ashamed of.

    Instead, be AMUSED and own it as your superpower!

    The path to confidence is about being comfortable with who you are authentically and not trying to live by other people’s standards or abilities.

    There are two key ingredients to face marriage distress with confidence:

    1. Be a more confident husband by knowing you’re OK
    2. Be a more confident husband by trusting your intentions

    You’ll Be A More Confident Husband When You Believe You’re Going To Be Ok

    If your wife is talking circles around you, she’s doing what people with her brain are supposed to be doing. 

    She’s OK. 

    You’re OK. 

    Everyone is OK.

    If your logical brain tells you she’s way off base or that she isn’t seeing things clearly, take a breath.

    Your brain is just doing what it’s supposed to do.

    Everything is still ok. 

    A man who knows deep down that he’s OK can face chaos with confidence. 

    The Vikings were unstoppable in battle because they believed they couldn’t die except on the day the gods had chosen. 

    In other words, they believed they would be OK no matter what. 

    The Vikings had what we call spiritual confidence, and it made them a fearless force to reckon with! 

    It’s a certain type of faith to develop.

    Faith believing that everything is working out exactly how it’s supposed to.

    Not because the big man upstairs is moving pieces on a chessboard, but because the world always balances itself through opposites.

    The very fabric of reality behaves according to a specific set of rules.

    It’s the same rules that keep the planets in orbit and prevent dogs from giving birth to cats.

    You are supposed to go through everything that you go through.

    Call it kinetic energy.

    Call it the rubberband effect or karma.

    Whatever it is, you have to have faith in it if you want to be a more confident husband.

    Be A More Confident Husband By Trusting Your Intentions

    How people decide to judge your actions is their choice.

    What’s important is that you trust your own intentions.  

    When you trust your intentions, you can let go of needing to be right, better, or understood by others. 

    To be a more confident man, stop trying so hard to prove yourself.

    When your intentions are honorable, simply trust them.

    Act on them.

    There is nothing to explain or defend when people react to it.

    How You Can Take A BIG Step Towards Confidence This Week

    In my coaching, you learn how to have a strong masculine frame.

    To be a more confident husband requires a first step: Knowing your values

    I will teach you how to narrow your values down to a few key components that energize your masculine frame.

    Your masculine frame will enable you to face marriage distress with confidence by being clear, strong, and sure of yourself.

    Even if your wife has one foot out the door, doing this work gives your marriage the best chance for survival.

  • How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    I’ll show you how to make your wife want you again by becoming a version 2.0 of yourself. Women respond to the energy you bring into the relationship. Below is a video with examples from the TV show “Vikings” to illustrate the kind of energy your wife can’t resist.

    Focus On Causes, Not Symptoms

    Every day, I speak to men in a desperate spot. 

    They sincerely want to save their failing marriage, but everything they do seems to backfire.  

    I know how easy it is to hyper-focus on everything that’s “wrong” in your relationship.

    You’ll assume what’s “wrong” is preventing your marriage from turning around. 

    The problem with this approach is you’re trying to resolve symptoms, not causes. 

    • Lack of affection/no sex
    • Poor communication
    • Blaming attachment styles
    • Love language frustrations
    • Emotional coldness/withdrawal
    • Her inability to be respectful or do self-improvement

    The list above is symptoms, not root causes.

    I say it all the time, “Love covers a multitude of sins”.

    When your wife feels attracted to you, she overlooks the annoyances (and so do you).

    The level of personal happiness and fulfillment you feel outside of marriage determines how you’ll eventually feel inside the marriage.

    The degree to which you can create an amazing life without your wife determines the degree to which you can create one with her.

    If you’re not emotionally secure enough to let her go, you’re not emotionally secure enough to have her. 

    These are the kinds of insecurities and root causes that cripple a relationship. 

    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again If She Wants Space

    If your wife wants space, that means she doesn’t want to manage your needs for you.

    She’s tired.

    She wants to feel a SPARK when she’s around you, not obligation.

    Watch my video below to see how a woman’s feelings change when her man gets his spark back. 

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    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    One of the most effective ways to attract a woman is to let her go. 

    She wants to have the freedom to CHOOSE you.

    How do you give her that freedom?

    By letting her have the option to NOT choose you.

    A man without an inspiring life mission will see his wife as his source of happiness.

    She becomes his purpose for living. 

    You can’t let her go if you can’t imagine living an amazing life without her. 

    I know this seems backwards.

    You probably think your inability to live an amazing life without her is proof of your love for her.

    But it’s the opposite for her.

    Your partner is not wired to be responsible for her happiness AND yours. 

    A huge burden is lifted off her shoulders when you have a life that’s so energizing that your spark, charisma, excitement, joy, and inspiration are full regardless of what she does.

    How A Viking Reattracted His Lover

    In the video, I point out how Rollo wallows in his self-pity, victim mindset, and lack of purpose.

    These behaviours make Siggy lose her attraction for him. 

    Rolo blames his brother, his ex-lover, the gods’, and everyone else for his life. 

    For a time, he tries to demand respect and love from others.

    This quickly makes his situation worse.

    I realize this story is made up, but it mirrors what I see with men I work with. 

    Again and again, I’ve seen my client’s wife circle back after he gets clear, excited, and motivated by his positive future to the point that he lovingly lets her go.

    These men grew until they:

    • No longer resisted the divorce process.
    • No longer needed to “be right”.
    • No longer needed her mood be different for him to be ok.
    • Could unshakably trust in his own ability to create the experiences he wanted.
    • Accepted that she is on her own journey of personal growth and is progressing at her own pace.
    • Stopped “fighting for the marriage.”

    In the video, Siggy suddenly became re-attracted to Rollo because his spark brought energy to the relationship.

    That’s the opposite of needing the relationship to give him energy.

    She wanted to feel ALIVE. 

    Women move towards what makes her feel ALIVE.

    You get to take the lead and demonstrate what feeling alive looks like. 

    Your partner is wired to respond to the energy you bring into your relationship.

    Your vibe, tone, and look in our eyes do all the talking.

    How To Get Your Wife Back If Your Spark Is Gone

    Getting your wife back won’t happen until you get your spark back.

    When I take a man through my Masculine Confidence Framework, I’m giving him the foundation for who HE is.

    I give you clarity on HOW to be YOURSELF your relationship.

    You’ll emerge from this framework with personalized, unflappable self-trust and inner security.

    You read that right. 

    YOUR masculine frame is not going to consist of the same values or operating principles as the next guy. 

    My coaching challenges YOUR pain points, YOUR perspectives, and YOUR excuses. 

    An interesting study revealed how high testosterone doesn’t necessarily equal high female attraction.

    What the researchers discovered was that low levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) had more of an appealing effect on women than high testosterone did.

    You don’t need to be more “macho” for your wife to want you.

    You need to be more comfortable in your own skin, more OK, and more relaxed to face what needs to be faced.

    If you’re ready to have your brain rewired so you can make decisions quickly, know how to be with feminine emotions, and live as a man with an inspiring purpose, then let’s talk.

    I promise you’ll gain clarity on how to make your wife want you again without being fake or manipulative.

  • Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy (And How to Fix It)

    Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy (And How to Fix It)

    Many men, after being married to their wives for 18+ years, are wondering why she’s pulling away from intimacy. Is she ok? Am I ok? Are we ok? These are the thoughts of a frustrated, rejected husband. Let’s unpack what’s going on in this 3rd installment of my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.

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    End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent

    Secret# 3: End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent.

    (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWOTHREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX)

    Matthew’s Advances Fell Flat

    The sun was out, the weather was perfect, and Matthew felt good.

    If the sky stayed clear, he’d finish painting the house.

    Even better, his wife, Amy, would be home soon from her graveyard shift.

    They had plans for coffee together, a rare moment of connection after ten days of barely seeing each other.

    But Matthew wasn’t just excited for coffee; he was horny.

    The thought of getting tangled up with Amy before they left made him smile.

    Then Amy walked in.

    No hello.

    No eye contact.

    Just walked right past him.

    Matthew followed her into the bedroom, hopeful.

    She let out a deep sigh.

    He stepped behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and groped.

    Amy stepped away.

    She walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

    The Reason Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy Isn’t What You Think

    Thirty minutes later, Matthew and Amy sat in silence at a coffee shop.

    Matthew was irritated.

    He’d had his mind set on sex, and it hadn’t happened.

    Amy was even quieter than usual.

    Trying to fill the dead air, Matthew talked about his plans to finish painting.

    A tear slid down Amy’s cheek.

    “Why are you crying, Amy?” he asked, setting his coffee down.

    Amy stared off.

    “Come on, Matthew. You should know me well enough by now. I shouldn’t have to say.”

    Matthew replayed the morning in his mind.

    What had he missed?

    Amy finally broke the silence. “I need you to care about me.”

    Her voice was as cold as her untouched coffee.

    Matthew was stumped and annoyed!

    Didn’t he just try to have sex with her an hour ago?

    Didn’t that prove he cared?

    “Maybe you just need some sleep,” he suggested.

    Amy shook her head, eyes narrowing. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do.”

    Matthew clenched his jaw.

    His patience was thin.

    “This is BS,” he thought.

    Arms crossed, determined to defend himself, he snapped: “Well, I do care about you, so I don’t know what your problem is.”

    Amy turned her face as another tear ran down her cheek.

    Pro Tip: If Matthew had simply said, “I hear you. What else are you feeling?” he could’ve stopped this crash before it happened. A woman’s words aren’t a conclusion; they’re the tip of the iceberg to something else she’s feeling.

    How Matthew Made Matters Worse

    That evening, Matthew was feeling better.

    The house painting had gone great.

    But he was still horny as hell.

    Amy slept most of the day.

    Even now, she was curled up in bed.

    Matthew stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, and slid under the sheets next to her.

    He kissed her neck.

    She barely responded.

    “Come on, Amy. I’m gonna sleep like shit if we don’t have sex.”

    Amy sighed… that long, exhausted sigh Matthew had grown to hate.

    “Okay, fine. Just do your thing.”

    This was the kind of sex they had been having lately.

    Matthew hated it.

    Amy hated it.

    But here’s what Matthew didn’t understand: his need to relieve his horniness was all Amy could feel from him.

    Pro Tip: Your wife wants to feel your sexual desire, not your sexual neediness. There is a difference!

    If you don’t understand why she’s pulling away from intimacy, it’s time to notice the energy you bring to the room.

    A man full of sexual desire is playful, can tune into the present moment, and can create emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.

    Women love this guy!

    A man full of sexual neediness is laser-focused on getting to orgasm.

    He counts the days since they last had sex.

    He tries to get his wife to feel sorry for him when they don’t have sex.

    Women can’t stand this guy.

    How Matthew Fixed the Intimacy Issues in His Marriage

    If your marriage is like Matthew’s, there are some things you need to STOP doing.

    Stop doing things like:

    • Needing to be right.
    • Using her body as an outlet to get off
    • Trying to rationalize her into having sex
    • Getting upset when she’s not in the mood
    • Insisting she’s doing something wrong to you when she turns away

    That conversation Matthew and Amy had at the coffee stand?

    That could have led to an intimate moment.

    Matthew only needed to hold space for Amy to sort out her feelings with him.

    But he didn’t.

    He reacted, and she shut down.

    Tears indicate that there is more she wants to share, but she doesn’t feel safe to.

    Never mistake this cue.

    The reason why she’s pulling away from intimacy isn’t the first reason she says.

    If your woman’s eyes get glossy, she wants to open up; if only you could handle it.

    Thankfully, Matthew realized this cycle would destroy his marriage and got help.

    He found a mentor who guided him.

    And that’s when everything changed.

    He stopped letting his horniness override his awareness of how Amy was feeling.

    He learned to create a connection in moments that used to trigger his defensiveness.

    Amy felt his presence again.

    She felt his sexual desire, not his sexual neediness.

    And that’s when intimacy started to flow naturally again.

    Your Next Step If She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy

    You can’t hold space for another if you’re not rock-solid in yourself.

    The confidence you display when your wife pulls back is what attracts her to get close again.

    You can gain the same attractive masculine energy Matthew achieved in our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

    Join an amazing group of men and learn to lead intimacy in marriage with confidence!

    If you’re ready to break free from frustration, rebuild attraction, and restore the deep, passionate intimacy you once had with your wife, then it’s time to step up.