Tag: Strengthening Marital Bonds for Men

  • Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    When our wife emotionally and sexually withdraws, we can find ourselves in the depths of despair and heartache. We feel suffocated under the weight of painful emotions. Self-doubt gnaws at our core, eroding any remnants of confidence we once had. In the darkness of a sexless marriage, there’s a flicker of hope. Our hope to overcome this anguish is to realize we need to rebuild our shattered confidence before intimacy can return. Are you resentful that you ended up in a sexless marriage? Well, don’t blame her…Yet. Allow the story below to be your roadmap back to confidence and intimacy.

    Chris’s Sexless Marriage

    Meet Chris.

    Chris is known for his remarkable kindness and always going the extra mile to please others. 

    He has a gentle soul, and conflict is his sworn enemy. 

    He would do anything to avoid confrontation, believing that maintaining harmony in all aspects of life is paramount!

    Chris’s marriage to his wife, Sarah, started off blissfully. 

    They were deeply in love and seemed to have a fairytale relationship. 

    As time passed, Sarah began to feel a growing disconnect. 

    Chris’s unwavering niceness became suffocating, and his fear of conflict prevented open communication between them.

    Rather than leading an emotional connection with Sarah, Chris would walk on eggshells hoping to not upset her.

    In their intimate life, Chris’s insatiable sexual neediness further strained their relationship.

    He constantly sought validation and reassurance, often pressuring Sarah for physical intimacy. 

    His desperation for connection had unintentionally pushed Sarah away, and she no longer felt the same attraction she once had.

    Sarah longed for a partner who could stand up for himself, express his desires and needs, and engage in honest conversations. 

    She craved a sense of balance, where both partners were able to communicate their feelings openly, even if it meant occasional disagreements.

    Feeling the growing distance, Sarah contemplated the state of their marriage. 

    She realized that if things continued as they were, both of them would suffer. 

    Sarah knew deep down that Chris’s innate kindness was genuine, but it was overshadowed by his fear of conflict and his inability to assert himself.

    She wanted to feel attracted to Chris, but an unexplainable pressure kept her from feeling anything but disgust whenever she was around him.

    Though she hated to think of it, Sarah knew deep down the only way she could have the relationship she wanted was to leave Chris. 

    Lack of Confidence, The Cause Nice Guys Overlook

    Jump forward 24 months.

    Chris and Sarah’s marriage had only worsened. 

    Sarah had come to terms that she didn’t want to be with Chris and told him she wanted a divorce. 

    Chris was devastated. 

    Determined to change, he embarked on a journey of self-improvement.

    Chris sought mentorship to explore his own insecurities and learn healthier ways of expressing his needs

    Through self-reflection and guidance, he began to strike a balance between being kind and standing up for himself. 

    He discovered that true strength lies not in avoiding conflicts but in being unshakable in his self-esteem, boundaries, and personal values. 

    Over time, the dynamic between Chris and Sarah started to shift! 

    Their conversations became more honest and open, as they learned to communicate their desires and concerns without reacting from a place of neediness, insecurity, or fear. 

    Chris’s newfound self-assuredness and willingness to engage in constructive dialogue reignited the spark in their relationship.

    As they grew together, Chris learned the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between kindness and assertiveness. 

    He discovered that true intimacy blossoms when both partners can express their needs, engage in open dialogue, and face conflicts with love and respect.

    If Chris could summarize with one word the most basic skill he had to learn to re-gain attractiveness it would be this: CONFIDENCE

    Your Chance To Restore Intimacy

    Did the story of Chris & Sarah sound familiar brother?

    Learn the key building blocks to become an attractive, happy, CONFIDENT man who women can’t resist in the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

    Watch this video for a sneak peek into the benefits men are gaining in this course!

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    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    If you’re action-orientated, serious about making permanent changes in your mojo, relationships, sex life, and work life, (and have a sense of humor) then you should join this course.

    Visit our registration page to save your spot!

    Over the years, I’ve appreciated the research into intimacy Esther Perel has done.

    In her article, “Are Taboos Holding Your Relationship Back?” she reminds us how familiarity breeds loss of desire.

    Let this truth relax your anxious mind that when something NEW comes out of you, something NEW will come out of the relationship.

    Have A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her… Focus On Being A Man You’re Proud Of

    Your love story can take a new turn.

    Your relationship can be stronger and more passionate than ever before when you stop trying to please her and focus on rebuilding your self-confidence.

    You can learn how to give her space without losing her.

    The confidence course isn’t the only place I’m teaching men how to regain their attractive confidence while in a sexless marriage.

    In my coaching, I mentor men personally through my masculine confidence framework.

    Book a FREE Get Grounded Now consultation if you’re interested in 1:1 mentorship.

    See you on the other side brother, 

    Garrett Prettyman

  • Sexless Marriages: The Fragile And Elusive Erotic Desire Of Women

    Sexless Marriages: The Fragile And Elusive Erotic Desire Of Women

    This article takes a peek under the hood of feminine affection and reveals why her sensual desires can seem fickle and unavailable at times. Although sexless marriages can feel very bleak, being patient and letting her come to you is imperative.

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    Sexless Marriage: Unraveling The Fragile And Elusive Erotic Desire Of Women

    Feminine Love Is Mostly Narcissistic 

    Click HERE to watch a short video by Esther Perel.

    Esther has been studying infidelity and sex in long-term relationships for many years.

    If you’re thinking, “Narcissistic, that’s toxic!” Don’t pull the eject lever yet brother.

    Feminine and masculine are polar opposites so A LOT of how women work will seem backward to us guys.

    In a nutshell, women are wired to experience erotic turn-on when they’ve received a cocktail of emotional experiences.

    Women are bombarded with male attraction from all sides constantly.

    Her biology is wired to only “open the doors” to specific masculine traits that will ensure the survival of the human race.

    This is a twofold experience for her.

    On the one hand, she needs to sense we’re a grounded, secure, confident, protective, and competent man who will keep her safe when she’s emotionally, physically, and mentally the most vulnerable.

    On the other hand, SHE needs to feel safe, contained, desirable, attractive, and delicious all on her own totally separate from you.

    As Esther Perel says, “A woman who cannot make love to herself cannot receive love from others”. 

    See why feminine love is largely narcissistic? 

    Everything revolves around HER feelings for HER sexuality to open. 

    Expecialy In Sexless Marriages, Her Love Is Sensitive

    Think of your partner’s affection like a bubble.

    In the early stages of a relationship, her initial responses to us can form a “love bubble”.

    We men are the ones who assume the “love bubble” is a permanent part of how she feels towards us.

    No sir! This bubble can pop from the slightest shift in the wind.

    Sometimes the bubble can be reformed, sometimes it cannot.

    This has nothing to do with our value, quality, or achievements as men but has EVERYTHING to do with how HER biology towards us feels to her.

    Women are wired to be responders.

    Just as the moon is a reflection of the sun, She’s supposed to respond/reflect back to us a version of herself based on how we’re being.

    Women Are Like Cats, Men Are Like Dogs

    Corey Wayne Came up with the cat/dog analogy to compare men to women.

    I love this point of view because it’s so relatable!

    Both species make good pets.

    Both can be affectionate.

    Cats are more elusive though.

    A cat can’t be forced to obey, purr, sit still, or “stay” unless they feel like it.

    Dogs are very loyal and are quick to forget about yesterday.

    Cats are always suspicious of our intentions and only come close when they feel the right vibes around us.

    Dogs are ready to pick up the fun right where they left off regardless of how bad the day was.

    Can you relate to any of these experiences with your partner?

    In a sexless marriage, your wife is mirroring to you how she feels around you.

    If you’re showing up 100% as the confident, MAN in the relationship who is inspired, fulfilled, outcome non-dependent, and happy, then this is just how she’s going to be with you.

    However, most men are walking on eggshells, trying to make her happy, and sacrificing themselves instead of staying in their masculine frame when the marriage is struggling.

    If the latter version sounds like you, then what she’s mirroring to you will change when YOU change.

    Sexless Marriages Call For A Clear Masculine Frame

    Masculinity coach Mark Drezga and I teach a Confidence Course that will get you thinking, responding, and talking like a grounded, attractive man.

    Learning how to be masculine in relationships will completely change your sex life, work life, and social life!

    If you’re ready to pull out the big guns and fully re-wire your brain for life-long transformation, consider my 1:1 mentorship.

    Click HERE to schedule a free consultation about my 1:1 Masculine Confidence Framework package that will be the most life-changing investment you’ve ever made for yourself.

    Sexless marriages are the perfect place in life for men to get the biggest results from doing this work.

    True masculinity can only be forged in the total absence of feminine support and affection.

    Make good use of this time brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • The Consequences of Being a ‘Yes’ Man in Marriage

    The Consequences of Being a ‘Yes’ Man in Marriage

    We often think saying “yes” all the time is a sign of being a good, agreeable partner. In reality, always being agreeable in marriage can lead to some serious consequences. This article dives into, The Consequences of Being a ‘Yes’ Man in Marriage.

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    The Consequences of Being a ‘Yes’ Man in Marriage

    Why Your Wife Doesn’t Feel A Deep Connection With You

    When we constantly agree with our spouse by neglecting our own feelings and desires, we’re robbing our relationship of authenticity.

    This lack of honesty and transparency can make it hard for our spouse to trust us and understand what’s truly important to us.

    Without trust, we won’t be able to LEAD the intimacy we want.

    And, let’s be real, constantly saying “yes” can also brew to some major resentment on our part.

    When we don’t express our honest perspectives and are not willing to put our foot down in the name of courage, we come off as weak and fake to our partner.

    This can chip away at the trust and love in our relationship, making it harder to repair.

    If we want a strong and trustworthy marriage, honesty and authenticity are key.

    In her interview on 60 Minutes, best-selling author and shame researcher Brene Brown points out how when we tap about because we feel vulnerable and start going with the flow, we’ve destroyed the ability for there to be creativity, connection, and leadership.

    The Consequences of Being a ‘Yes’ Man Is Two-Fold

    By being true to ourselves and communicating openly with our wife, we show her that we respect and value her.

    This will help build trust and strengthen our relationship.

    But, before we decide to unload Pandora’s box of how we feel with our partner, we need to understand this: When we’re coming from a place of desperation, neediness, or lack of happiness the timing is all wrong.

    The same applies if right now she’s, “wanting space” or, “loves you but isn’t in love with you“.

    On the one hand, speaking our truth from a place of inner security can lead to a deeper level of relationship.

    On the other hand, speaking our truth out of FEAR or insecurity can drive a wedge between us.

    The Process Of Introducing The New You Into Your Relationship

    If you don’t want the consequences of being a ‘yes’ man in your marriage, prioritize honesty and authenticity while taking responsibility to calm your fears and insecurities.

    This will help ensure that your relationship stays strong, based on trust and mutual respect.

    If right now your marriage is in limbo, reach out.

    I take men through a “Masculine Confidence Framework” that is absolutely necessary to get your relationship back to where vulnerability and deeper connection can grow by no longer being a “yes man”.

    Fill out my “Get Grounded Now” form for a free consultation call.

    Be grounded brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • Sexless Marriage – 4 Signs She Won’t Change

    Sexless Marriage – 4 Signs She Won’t Change

    Reading this will explain why some marriages can be turned around and some cannot. The man you must become to save your marriage is the man you need to be regardless. Being in a sexless marriage amplifies our shortcomings giving us a clear picture of where we could use self-improvement.

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    Sexless Marriage – 4 Signs She Won’t Change

    What A Sexless Marriage Reveals In A Man

    When a man is not engaging in physical intimacy, a part of his heart gets harder to access.

    Even the most stone-cold, brutal man can be melted by a loving woman’s touch.

    It’s like magic.

    Her affection draws out his care and desire to emotionally connect.

    Take her magical touch away, and we end up with a man who finds it harder and harder to feel any depth of connection with his partner.

    Her presence starts feeling like a negative, annoying vacuum in his life.

    The almost cruel irony is women don’t feel a desire for sexual intimacy unless she feels a strong connection, and men don’t feel a strong connection unless he’s having sexual intimacy. 

    This is the stalemate most marriages wrestle with. 

    The typical compromise is the wife offers, “obligation sex”.

    Obligation sex isn’t the satisfying, intimate sex the man wants, so the problem only worsens.

    She blames him for not being deeply connected to her and he blames her for not being sexually passionate.

    Some marriages do get turned around and the wife regains her desire for intimate sex with her husband again!

    Some marriages never recover after sex leaves the scene. 

    Here are 4 signs she won’t change:

    1. Despite being non-defensive about your intentions, she’s constantly criticizing them

    2. Even though you’ve been showing her appreciation, she’s full of contempt and holds you in low regard

    3. You’re taking responsibility for your wrongs, but she is always defensive and blames you for how she feels

    4. You’ve learned how to manage your reactions and set a calm safe tone but she still stone-walls and gives the silent treatment For full disclosure, I didn’t make these 4 signs up.The Gottman research institution calls these 4 signs, “The 4 Horsman” signifying the end of a marriage. 

    We cannot talk our way out of something we behaved ourselves into.

    BEING a non-defensive, responsible, emotionally calm man who holds his wife in high regard is a vibe to confront these 4 signs with, not a conversation.

    Don’t expect the “new you” to immediately make her want to have sex with you.

    These things take time.

    A rough rule of thumb for marriage recovery is at least one month for each year you’ve been together.

    If after that, she’s still exhibiting the 4 signs above, she may never change.

    Sexual affection is a fragile thing in the female world.

    Keep in mind there are also hormonal and physical issues you’re wife may be struggling with.

    Watch my post on peri-menopause for more info. 

    The “success gauge” to focus on is this: Are you showing up as the man you want to be and have you been doing it for an extended period of time despite being in a sexless marriage? 

    What To Do Next

    What it means to be “masculine” in relationships is very blurred in our Western society.

    Getting crystal clear on the kind of man you need to be in your relationship is essential to knowing if you gave your marriage the best chance for survival.

    You’ll discover the foundation of attractive manhood in my “Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence” course.

    The cost to join this course will be the best money you’ve ever invested in your family, I guarantee it.

    Click HERE to secure your spot.The pain of being in a sexless marriage will be for nothing if we don’t use that pain to make our future better.The comadiary and support of the men in my groups can’t be found anywhere else.Join today and start gaining the benefits of connecting with men who have already walked your path.

    Much love brother,

    Garrett Prettyman