There are consequences to being a ‘yes’ man to avoid conflict with your wife. There are consequences to being a ‘no’ man, too. I’ll show you what the middle ground looks like that your marriage needs to succeed.
Shallow Connection: One Of The Consequences Of Being A ‘Yes’ Man
When you constantly agree with your spouse, YOUR feelings get neglected.
When you neglect your own feelings and desires, you’re robbing your relationship of authenticity.
Want real love?
Real connection?
Real intimacy?
Then you have to be real.
I know what you’re thinking, “It always blows up if I don’t agree with her!”
Here’s my response: So what?
The consequences of being a ‘yes’ don’t appear until way down the road.
A deep connection in marriage is lost.
So is deep intimacy.
Trust is the foundation for a deeper connection with your partner.
When you always agree with her, she can’t trust you.
And, let’s be real, constantly saying “yes” brews some major resentment on our part too.
When you don’t express your honest perspectives and are not willing to put your foot down in the name of courage, you come off as weak and fake to your partner.
This chips away at the trust and love in your relationship, making it harder to repair.
In her interview on 60 Minutes, best-selling author and shame researcher Brene Brown points something out. She says when we start going with the flow, we destroy the ability for there to be creativity, connection, and leadership.
The result is a stale marriage.
It’s one of the consequences of being a ‘yes’ man.
And I don’t want you to live in dry relationship like that.
The Consequences of Being a ‘Yes’ Man Is Two-Fold
By being true to yourself and communicating openly with your wife, you show her that you respect and value her.
You don’t have to disagree with your wife to not be a ‘Yes” man.
It means you don’t NEED her to agree with you.
See the difference?
But here’s a warning!
Before you unload Pandora’s box of how you feel with your partner, understand this: If you’re coming from a place of desperation, neediness, or lack of happiness, the timing is all wrong.
It’s also bad timing when your wife is “wanting space” or “loves you but isn’t in love with you”.
Her need for space can be one of the consequences of being a ‘yes’ man.
She wants to relax with someone who has a spine, not someone who always caters to her.
When she needs space, that’s not a time to open up to her; it’s a time to open up to yourself.
Clarify who you are, where you’re going, and why that matters for your own sake.
Speaking your truth from a place of inner security leads to a deeper level of relationship when your wife is all in.
On the other hand, speaking your truth out of FEAR or insecurity when she pulls back drives a wedge between you.
How To Have The Spine She Needs
If you don’t want the consequences of being a ‘yes’ man in your marriage, prioritize honesty and authenticity while taking responsibility to calm your fears and insecurities.
This ensures that your relationship stays strong, based on trust and mutual respect.
If right now your marriage is in limbo, reach out.
I’ve helped many men get their relationship back to where vulnerability and deeper connection thrive.