When your wife is always unhappy or chronically upset, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing as a husband or father. There are 5 things you can change right now to bring some joy back into your relationship. Just watch the video below or keep reading.
Unhappy Wife – 5 Necessities To Change
Failed Expectations: A Source Of Unhappiness
We like to imagine how life would be “in a perfect world”.
“Perfect” includes a loving, sweet, affectionate, beautiful woman waiting for you at the door when you come home.
She’s wearing a sexy outfit and holding freshly baked cinnamon rolls.
I’m here to warn you that sex won’t save your marriage when your wife asks for space or says she’s done. This is part six in my series of 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.(Use these links to see secretsONE,TWO, THREE,FOUR &FIVE) Here’s secret #6: Sex isn’t a gauge for marriage repair.
I’ve coached many men who’s wife gave in for sex towards the end of their marriage.
The physical intimacy made matters WORSE.
Here desire to leave was only amplified.
That’s why sex won’t save your marriage.
She’s not a dude.
She needs something very different.
Let’s look at how the relationship got to this point so you understand.
Why Sex Isn’t A Gauge For Marriage Repair
How Relationships Tend To Start
Nick and Christine met in the spring.
Nick’s sense of humor and carefree energy enticed Christine.
Christine’s strong will and enthusiasm for life refreshed Nick.
I want you to know that masculine leadership is sexy even if your wife is a very alpha, driven person. That’s secret# 5 in my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets. (Use these links to see secretsONE, TWO, THREE,FOUR, FIVE, and SIX) This article is not for the controlling jackass who bosses his wife around or treats women with disrespect. Quite opposite. The tips you’re about to learn ARE for the man who mistakenly thought letting his wife wear the pants in the relationship would make her happy. Even if your wife has a stubborn streak, deep down, she feels leadership is sexy.
Masculine Leadership Is Sexy (Even to Strong Independent Women)
Why Kate Was Unhappy In Her Marriage
Kate looked up from her phone and asked, “What do you want for dinner?”
Travis almost didn’t hear her.
He was lost in his laptop, browsing new real estate listings.
“I don’t care. Whatever is easy”, Travis replied with a smile.
Kate said, “We have some leftover meatloaf. Or I could do a casserole”.
Travis’s eyes stayed on his computer.
He had no idea Kate was seeking his masculine leadership.
He was more interested in the new listing he just found.
“Whatever you want, honey. If one of those is near the front of the fridge, just warm that up”, he suggested.
“Think we could watch a nature show tonight? It’s been a while since we’ve done that. Or we could go for a drive and look at Christmas lights!”, Amy said with enthusiasm.
“Maybe”, Travis mumbled as he tried to cut and paste an address from his web browser.
Kate’s voice got serious, “I just think we need to prioritize making efforts for our relationship.”
“Huh?”, Travis said, confused.
Kate’s face got emotional.
Her throat tightened as she said, “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one fighting for us. I always have to fight alone”.
Travis tried to make sense of how the conversation went from dinner to prioritizing their relationship.
He felt himself getting angry.
“Kate, you’re a strong, independent woman. You love plowing your own way through life. The battles you fight, you bring on yourself”, he scolded disapprovingly.
Hearing this did not sit well with Kate.
Kate began walking out of the room.
In a frustrated tone, she turned around and said, “Never mind.”
Travis heard her walk into their bedroom and close the door.
About an hour later, his mind was still foggy as he tried to process his conversation with Kate.
He felt a little resentful that she didn’t make him anything to eat.
While he warmed up some meatloaf in the microwave, he could hear a nature show coming from the TV in their bedroom.
Yay!
Dinner in bed would be fun.
Travis brought his plate to bed and nestled next to Kate.
She fell asleep moments later.
He finished the episode by himself.
This wasn’t the fun, connected, sexy evening he had hoped for.
Masculine Leadership Is Sexy, Management Is Not
Each time Kate brought up a question, Travis tried to avoid leadership by putting the choice back on her.
Management is a form of damage control.
You’ll never be responsible for damage if other people make the choices!
In the business world, a manager has one job: Use the systems in place to keep the show going.
The leader of a company looks broad range.
A leader ensures effort is spent on the right problems based on where he wants the company to go.
Without leadership, managers can end up straightening chairs on a sinking Titanic, assuming effort=success.
You’ll win the battle but lose the war.
The same applies to your marriage.
Here are the replies Travis gave his wife in the story above:
“I don’t care”
Whatever is easy”
“Whatever you want honey”
“Maybe”
“Huh?”
Do those sound like words of leadership to you?
Those replies were attempts to put out small fires.
That’s what managers do.
Even the strongest, most independent, business-minded woman wants to relax.
Her sexuality goes offline if she isn’t relaxed.
Leadership allows her to relax and step out of the guessing game.
She can’t do that with a manager.
Every time Kate bounced options off Travis, she wanted him to make a choice.
She wanted to relax in his masculine leadership.
Travis didn’t step up, and that’s when her emotions changed from “What do you want to eat?” to “sometimes I feel like I’m the only one fighting for us”.
Your wife wants the GOOD feeling of knowing she just gave you something you really wanted.
Saying, “Just warm up whatever happens to be the fridge” robs her of that good feeling.
It’s very selfish to not know what you want
How Travis Could Have Shown Masculine Leadership
Especially for guys married to strong, independent women, letting her make the choices in the house feels easy.
Deep down, these men are afraid she won’t like him if he faces her strong will.
He’s afraid that saying what he really thinks will just be used against him.
Here’s how Travis could have lead Sexy, FUN leadership:
“Meatloaf sounds great! Let’s have that.”
“No, we can’t look at Christmas lights tonight. We will next weekend. It will be fun!”
“You feel like you’re fighting all your battles alone? I’m sorry, that sounds exhausting. Let’s talk about it after I get out of the shower tonight when I’m not distracted.”
A unique difference between masculine leadership vs feminine leadership is that masculine leadership is CONSISTENTLY based on values, boundaries, and standards, NOT emotions.
Your leadership is still a gift even if she protests with comments like, “I don’t want meatloaf. I’d rather have a casserole.”
Here’s why: She didn’t know what she wanted until you did.
Feminine energy finds her truth when contained by strong masculine leadership
Just as a river can’t reach the ocean without river banks, feminine can’t know what she wants or where she’s going until she encounters your clear choices
Begging and pleading never help a struggling marriage because the urgency to fix your marriage will end it. That’s secret #4 of my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets (Use these links to see secretsONE, TWO, THREE,FOUR, FIVE, and SIX).
When I take you through my Masculine Confidence Framework, your calm inner man starts to emerge around session four. This version of yourself is emotionally grounded. A steady heartbeat, clear thoughts, and some swagger in your footsteps are noticeable. Like a movie scene when the hero walks away from an explosion without looking back, the thought of losing your wife no longer crumbles you. Slow and steady wins the marriage-saving race. Watch the video below or keep reading for a real-life example.
Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It
Andrew Learned The Hard Way That Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It
Andrew felt like a dagger was being pushed through his gut.
He was lying face down, motionless in bed.
His wife, Christy, was packing up the last of the food in the kitchen.
Their dog zipped around the room, excited for the car ride home.
They were at a lake cabin Andrew rented to celebrate their 7th wedding anniversary.
Outside, the December sun melted a crisp morning frost. Inside, the silence was ominous.
Not a single fiber in Andrew wanted to get up.
He turned and noticed the full-wall mirror along the bed.
His gut sank deeper.
All hopes of having intimate lovemaking by this mirror the night before were shattered.
The wine by the bed was unopened…the lingerie on the chair was unused…the roses on the table were ignored.
Christy walked over to the bed. “Are you ready to go?” she asked.
Andrew managed to follow Christy out to the car.
They passed a hand-drawn sign with their names on it.
The words “Happy Anniversary, Andrew & Christy” had welcomed their arrival 2 days prior.
Andrew’s blood ran cold as he tried to comprehend how badly the weekend had gone.
How Andrew Accidentally Created The Worst Anniversary Of His Life
Three months ago…
That’s when Christy’s emotional affair with her co-worker first came out.
Andrew’s initial pain of betrayal lifted when Christy broke off the connection with her affair partner.
At that time, Christy told Andrew she wanted to work on their marriage.
Andrew franticly scoured the web for a marriage counselor and booked a session.
He poured through YouTube videos about “how to save your marriage”.
He read blog after blog about “how to re-attract your wife”.
Every time he discovered a new “hack” he would use it on his wife.
He…
Took her on a hot air balloon ride attempting to re-create an adrenaline-infused positive experience with her
Showered her with love notes, surprise visits at work with coffee, flowers, long foot rubs, phone calls, and constant “I love you” texts just like when they were dating
Took old photos and made tear-jerking slide shows for her
Brought her to locations they had previously made good memories at
Bought her cute outfits and gifts
Took over doing the dishes, laundry, meals, and shopping
Flooded her with attention and deep emotional conversations
Every spare moment Christy had, Andrew was by her side.
Andrew had one target in mind: He would have his marriage fixed by their anniversary.
He took great lengths to ensure the cabin he rented had everything Christy loved.
The whole weekend was carefully planned out.
A bubble bath, back rub, candles, music, new lingerie… Mathew felt confident going into the weekend they would have sex for the first time in months.
All his expectations came crashing down as every attempt to seduce Christy over the weekend resulted in her turning away.
She gave the dog plenty of affection, but Andrew’s craving for a kiss, cuddle, or any kind of acknowledgment went unmet.
Your Wife Is Not A Guinea Pig For Marriage Saving Hacks
Andrew didn’t say a word as he and Christy drove home from the cabin.
Despite months of trying every marriage-saving hack he could find on the internet, their marriage was no better off.
When they arrived home, Andrew left Christy to unpack.
He took their dog into a travel trailer in the backyard and curled up on the bed.
Several hours later, Christy found him there. She knocked and quietly entered.
After sitting down on the edge of the bed she said, “Andrew, if we divorce, who gets the dog?”
“How can you say that?”, Andrew replied.
Although he was bummed their marriage wasn’t fixed, hearing the word “divorce” was too much to take in.
Was she suggesting their marriage was over?
Christy spoke again, “I’m just wondering… If we were to separate, how would we raise the dog?”
Tears started streaming down Andrew’s face.
This kind of talk was NOT ok. “Don’t ever say that. We’re not getting a divorce. You’re my wife, forever. We’re Christians and don’t believe in divorce”, Andrew said firmly.
Christy got up and walked out.
She divorced Andrew before the month ended.
Why Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It (And What To Do Instead)
The story about Andrew is an example of what NOT to do.
There are no magic hacks, gifts, or words that will make your wife want to be with you.
Those behaviors feel smothering at this point of marriage collapse.
There has to be a change in energy.
Remember those giant bubble-making wands from when you were a kid?
After dipping it in soapy water, you had to slowly open it and let a slight breeze blow through it.
Go too fast, and the bubble would pop.
A slow, steady motion would make massive bubbles.
This is what your marriage is like.
Love and attraction are delicate.
Addressing your urgent anxiety, fear, loneliness, expectations, and low self-esteem is what you need to be working on.
Until you become a calm, confident, outcome non-dependent man, everything you try with your wife will have undertones of urgency.
Frantically trying every new marriage tip when your relationship is on the rocks will keep popping her love bubble.
Behaving erratically like this leaves her confused about who you are.
A confused woman can’t make a clear choice if she’s in or out.
So here’s what you’re going to do about it: SLOW DOWN.
These 5 questions will help you slow down:
What if you believed what’s happening now is supposed to happen to get you where you’re supposed to be? (Did you just gloss over that? Read it again.)
If you pause your reactions, what response would you choose?
What’s a narrative about “right now” that feels better than your current story?
How can you be self-reliant in order to give yourself what you need right now?
What outcome are you attached to that you have no control over?
Right now, your mind is racing to every possible worst outcome.
It’s getting stuck on things you can’t control.
You probably can’t even focus at work or sleep more than 3 hours.
There are so many hopes you’re clinging to that need to be let go of.
That’s the real issue right now, not your marriage.
A Paradox: Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It… BUT Letting It Go Can Save It
I see it over and over with the men I work with…
The man finally gets secure enough to let the marriage go… Then she circles back!
It takes balls of steel to let someone you love go free.
You can’t fake this kind of confidence.
Your urgency to fix your marriage will end it because it oozes out of you, making her feel pressured.
It leaks out of your eyes, breathing, movements, and tones.
It’s needy and unattractive.
What you need is real, internal change.
A new way of thinking and a new framework to live by.
Many men, after being married to their wives for 18+ years, are wondering why she’s pulling away from intimacy. Is she ok? Am I ok? Are we ok? These are the thoughts of a frustrated, rejected husband. Let’s unpack what’s going on in this 3rd installment of my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.
End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent
Secret# 3: End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent.
The sun was out, the weather was perfect, and Matthew felt good.
If the sky stayed clear, he’d finish painting the house.
Even better, his wife, Amy, would be home soon from her graveyard shift.
They had plans for coffee together, a rare moment of connection after ten days of barely seeing each other.
But Matthew wasn’t just excited for coffee; he was horny.
The thought of getting tangled up with Amy before they left made him smile.
Then Amy walked in.
No hello.
No eye contact.
Just walked right past him.
Matthew followed her into the bedroom, hopeful.
She let out a deep sigh.
He stepped behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and groped.
Amy stepped away.
She walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
The Reason Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy Isn’t What You Think
Thirty minutes later, Matthew and Amy sat in silence at a coffee shop.
Matthew was irritated.
He’d had his mind set on sex, and it hadn’t happened.
Amy was even quieter than usual.
Trying to fill the dead air, Matthew talked about his plans to finish painting.
A tear slid down Amy’s cheek.
“Why are you crying, Amy?” he asked, setting his coffee down.
Amy stared off.
“Come on, Matthew. You should know me well enough by now. I shouldn’t have to say.”
Matthew replayed the morning in his mind.
What had he missed?
Amy finally broke the silence. “I need you to care about me.”
Her voice was as cold as her untouched coffee.
Matthew was stumped and annoyed!
Didn’t he just try to have sex with her an hour ago?
Didn’t that prove he cared?
“Maybe you just need some sleep,” he suggested.
Amy shook her head, eyes narrowing. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do.”
Matthew clenched his jaw.
His patience was thin.
“This is BS,” he thought.
Arms crossed, determined to defend himself, he snapped: “Well, I do care about you, so I don’t know what your problem is.”
Amy turned her face as another tear ran down her cheek.
Pro Tip: If Matthew had simply said, “I hear you. What else are you feeling?” he could’ve stopped this crash before it happened. A woman’s words aren’t a conclusion; they’re the tip of the iceberg to something else she’s feeling.
How Matthew Made Matters Worse
That evening, Matthew was feeling better.
The house painting had gone great.
But he was still horny as hell.
Amy slept most of the day.
Even now, she was curled up in bed.
Matthew stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, and slid under the sheets next to her.
He kissed her neck.
She barely responded.
“Come on, Amy. I’m gonna sleep like shit if we don’t have sex.”
Amy sighed… that long, exhausted sigh Matthew had grown to hate.
“Okay, fine. Just do your thing.”
This was the kind of sex they had been having lately.
Matthew hated it.
Amy hated it.
But here’s what Matthew didn’t understand: hisneed to relieve his horniness was all Amy could feel from him.
Pro Tip: Your wife wants to feel your sexual desire, not your sexual neediness. There is a difference!
If you don’t understand why she’s pulling away from intimacy, it’s time to notice the energy you bring to the room.
A man full of sexual desire is playful, can tune into the present moment, and can create emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.
Women love this guy!
A man full of sexual neediness is laser-focused on getting to orgasm.
He counts the days since they last had sex.
He tries to get his wife to feel sorry for him when they don’t have sex.
Women can’t stand this guy.
How Matthew Fixed the Intimacy Issues in His Marriage
If your marriage is like Matthew’s, there are some things you need to STOP doing.
Stop doing things like:
Needing to be right.
Using her body as an outlet to get off
Trying to rationalize her into having sex
Getting upset when she’s not in the mood
Insisting she’s doing something wrong to you when she turns away
That conversation Matthew and Amy had at the coffee stand?
That could have led to an intimate moment.
Matthew only needed to hold space for Amy to sort out her feelings with him.
But he didn’t.
He reacted, and she shut down.
Tears indicate that there is more she wants to share, but she doesn’t feel safe to.
Never mistake this cue.
The reason why she’s pulling away from intimacy isn’t the first reason she says.
If your woman’s eyes get glossy, she wants to open up; if only you could handle it.
Thankfully, Matthew realized this cycle would destroy his marriage and got help.
Join an amazing group of men and learn to lead intimacy in marriage with confidence!
If you’re ready to break free from frustration, rebuild attraction, and restore the deep, passionate intimacy you once had with your wife, then it’s time to step up.
Nothing shuts your wife down like emotional pressure. It’s the silent and deadly marriage-killer. That’s secret #2 in my series of 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets(Use these links to see secretsONE, TWO, THREE,FOUR, FIVE, and SIX).
There were many points in my marriage when I didn’t know what was happening.
My wife would spiral out, and I couldn’t make any sense of it.
It’s frustrating when you genuinely don’t know what to do next.
I was oblivious to how I had been adding emotional pressure.
I explain more in this video:
Pressure: The Silent And Deadly Marriage-Killer
Why Emotional Pressure Ruins Marriages
Emotional pressure is the opposite of attraction.
Here are some common marriage-killing forms of emotional pressure that you don’t want to put on your wife.
Making YOUR feelings her problem
Withholding praise as “punishment” for her behaviours
Listening to “fix the problem”, not to understand her perspective
Needing her to make up her mind
Doing things for her with unspoken expectations
To women, these hidden agendas feel like a snake in the grass.
It keeps her tense, on guard, and hesitant to open up.
It feels like emotional pressure, the silent and deadly marriage killer.
If your wife recently said she wants a divorce, then there’s a whole new level of pressure to remove:
Let go of needing specific outcomes for the marriage
Don’t resist the divorce process
Stop spending every free moment with her
Speak calmly and follow through on what you say
Force anything (animal or human) to do something, and you’ll get the same result: Resistance.
External pressure = resistance.
Internal pressure = motivation.
When a woman feels her own internal pressure, she makes positive changes because she wants to.
But she can’t feel her own internal pressure if you’re glued other side, following her around, and begging for her to change her mind.
3 Things You Can Do Right Now To Build INTERNAL (Good) Pressure In Your Wife
Identify something you’ve been making your wife responsible for that is your responsibility. Is it meal plans? The schedule this weekend? Walking the dog? Leading your own happiness? Pick something, make a decision, and follow through on it. Remove the emotional pressure of needing her to decide.
Stop explaining yourself. Every word that leaves your lips drains your wife’s batteries. Every word she says fills her back up. Practice listening. Make short statements, not full explanations. Use the silence to give your wife your undivided attention with your ears when she’s around. That means listen to understand, not to respond. Attention affects women the same way sex affects men. Sex in a long-term relationship is a byproduct of emotional intimacy. Listening is the first step to facilitating emotional intimacy.
Stop holding others accountable for how you feel. This is your life, and only you can live it. Are you secretly hoping your wife will want to go for a walk? Go for the walk yourself. Are you blaming your wife’s behaviours for your misery? Go do something you love. Stop waiting for other people to give you something for you to be ok. Take action on your own initiative.
Your Next Steps To Removing Emotional Pressure
There’s an effective process I take men through.
I help you:
Unplug from your wife’s moods and plug into solid men
Get an upgraded mental map to manage your triggers
Gain new perspectives to address faulty core beliefs causing your fear and anxiety
Become a happy, confident, emotionally present man
Get solid in your values so you can feel integrity and confidently set boundaries
Clarify what you want and how to create it (very important)
You become the kind of man who can lead a woman through her emotions with ease.
This is the first in my series of 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets (Use these links to see secretsONE, TWO, THREE,FOUR, FIVE, and SIX) I help extraordinary men create long-lasting love, deeper connection, intimacy, respect, and authentic affection through personalized masculine confidence coaching. The secrets I’m about to share are field-tested. They’ll bring lasting positive change to your relationships.
These Dangerously Effective Marriage-Saving SecretsAre Time-Proven
I’ve been working with men in troubled marriages for years.
I’ve seen repeated patterns of trial and error.
Many of my clients saved their marriages, even though their wives were ready to quit.
That’s why I call these dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets… they really work!
Let’s get into it.
Secret 1: STOP Being A Wishy-Washy Husband
You watch a movie with your wife.
Then she turns and asks, “Did you like it?”
If you give a straight answer, great!
You just provided something strong for her to feel about you.
But if you said, “Well, I don’t know, babe… did you like it?”… then you avoided the question.
Avoiding the question or leaving it open-ended feels wishy-washy to her.
It says you’re afraid to stand on your own two feet.
Why does dropping wishy-washy behaviours save marriages?
Because not having a clear opinion (or being quick to change it) feels manipulative to her.
It feels slimy and controlling.
She wants authenticity, not games.
So why do we guys beat around the bush?
If you’re like me, you’re hoping not to get in trouble.
You don’t want to rock the boat.
Her approval is important, and you don’t want to lose it.
And that’s the real issue she senses.
It makes her feel unsafe to be around you when you adjust yourself to try to gain something from her (like approval).
Explaining Yourself Makes Her Lose Respect
A confident person says “yes” or “no” for one reason: Because that is what they want.
Using a list of reasons to validate your choices feels wishy-washy.
It makes her feel like you don’t trust your choice, so how can she?
This sounds wishy-washy: “Honey, hopefully I’ll be home later tonight sometime if everything goes ok and traffic isn’t too bad.
You’re avoiding a solid response so you don’t disappoint.
And that’s the deeper issue.
Your wife can sense that you fear disappointing her, and that affects your sex life.
It’s hard for her body to soften to a man who walks on eggshells, hoping not to rock the boat.
This sounds confident:“Honey, I’m planning to be home by 6:00. I’ll let you know if anything changes.”
No list of reasons.
No holding others responsible.
Just a clear statement.
It can totally change your relationship.
That’s why ending wishy-washy behaviors ranks as one of my dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.
Feminine Needs You To Be Direct
In my youth, I played basketball with my friends.
Our church gym had carpet floors… it made it hard to dribble the ball!
Imagine your wife is dribbling a basketball.
The basketball is her feminine energy.
When the ball hits something firm, she can dribble the ball.
When the ball hits something soft, her need for safety hijacks her brain.
A female’s sexual desire goes offline without safety.
If you’ve been trying to get your walkaway wife back, I have news for you. The test results are in (and it’s stamped with a big “F”). Seventy percent of divorces are initiated by women. You know what that means? It means 70% of men were unable to stop the divorce. But you? You’re going to do the opposite of those 70%. Welcome to the 5% club, where marriages are saved. Not because you tricked your wife into staying, but because you used the laws of attraction and stopped chasing her.
Walkaway Wife: Why You Need To STOP Chasing Her
Men Everywhere Are Being Blindsided By Divorce
Most men never dreamed the girl they married would turn into a walkaway wife.
Disbelief. Horror. Panic.
Those juices surge through his veins like acid when he hears, “I’m going to leave you”.
Why is she leaving?
Why didn’t she bring this up sooner?
Can’t we go to marriage counseling and fix this?
A walkaway wife is as emotionally damaging as a gunshot wound.
But running around like a headless chicken never helps… And that’s EXACTLY what most men do.
They pull out all the stops.
They flood her with everything she loved while dating.
He cries, begs, pleads, argues, withdraws, and then writes the most passionate love letter of his life.
Do all those things, and you’ll join the 70% of men who never got their walkaway wife back.
You need to understand why she’s pulling away.
Then, how you should respond makes more sense.
Why Your Bride Has Turned Into A Walkaway Wife
24 months ago.
That’s how long ago she gave up and started imagining life without you.
Giving up felt like relief.
Like a huge weight lifted off her shoulders.
She opened herself up to get her needs met outside the marriage.
Not sexually, emotionally.
Work, friends, activities, weekend getaways, counseling… those became her new sources of emotional intimacy.
You, on the other hand, were oblivious while focused on surviving the daily grind.
>>>Fast forward to now.
She has already grieved the loss of the marriage.
An emotional bond has formed with others besides you.
She’s already cried until there were no more tears, and it was probably two summers ago.
That’s why she seems so cold and indifferent now.
Leaving you? That’s old news to her.
You feel like an ex-boyfriend or old business partner.
You, however, are NOWHERE near the same point as her.
Right now, your wife genuinely thinks she has tried everything in her power to help you “wake up” and give her the deep emotional connection and sense of belonging she craves.
She did this by following her immature female instincts of arguing, complaining, giving obligation sex, and taking on more responsibilities than she could handle.
She thought being this way was an obvious cry for help.
But those behaviours don’t create a deep emotional connection with a man.
Any wonder she burned out?
It’s why she’s “done”.
If you try to chase her, it only makes her run away faster.
The Attractiveness Of Letting Go
Have you ever tried to catch a dog by chasing it?
I have.
Good luck!
When you BACK AWAY, the dog gets very curious about what you’re up to.
Run away from a dog, and it will be hot on your heels.
I know what you’re thinking.
“My wife is complaining that I haven’t been there for her. I need to close the gap, not back away!”
Man-to-man lesson 101: Never take a woman’s words as a factual repair manual. She is saying what she feels like, not what you should do about it.
Over the years, your wife has conceived a version of you in her head.
This version has hardened like concrete.
Only one thing melts that version of you from her brain: time.
In time, experiencing a new version of you will give her new feelings about you.
You need to give time and space for the old version to fade from her memory.
But if you try to become someone she wants, you’ll lose your attractive edge.
It’s time to go balls-to-the-wall and be the man you’ve always wanted to be.
Your #1 goal right now is to stop chasing her and start making bold, scary movements towards creating an amazing life YOU love.
Women act on their owninternalpressure.
Just hearing your voice and seeing your face right now is external pressure.
That’s why space helps a walkaway wife forget what she grew to dislike about you.
ONLY NON-REACTIVE, PRESENT, SAFE ENERGY COMING FROM YOU CAN INFLUENCE HER INTERNAL PRESSURE IN A POSITIVE WAY.
Stop doing anything that feels like external pressure to her.
Hanging around her, inviting her to events, trying to guilt her into spending Christmas with you and the kids – that is all external pressure.
It shows you care when you step aside from blocking what she thinks she needs.
And what she needs right now is to have you fling the door wide open for her to walk out.
Only a man who is very secure in himself can do this.
The irony is that traits like security and confidence can only be built in the total absence of feminine support.
That’s what I teach men to develop when faced with a walkaway wife.
Your value and sense of well-being must no longer be attached to your wife’s validation.
Have A Walkaway Wife? Do This Now
Nothing is more effective in creating lasting change than man-to-man mentorship.
I challenge your thinking.
I give you new mindsets.
An open, deeper, authentic, confident version of yourself emerges.
You’ll stop chasing your walkaway wife and start being a man women walk towards.
When your wife loves you but isn’t in love with you, it shakes you to your core. The desperation. The fear. The loneliness. I’ve been there. I’ve been the guy up at 3:00 AM searching Google on how to save your marriage. At some point, you realize this isn’t about saving your marriage. This is about saving yourself. Here’s a true story from another man who didn’t let his wife’s loss of feelings destroy his life.
Marriage Without Masculine Confidence Is Doomed
It’s 3:00 Am.
Josh can’t sleep.
His wife, Marcia, is working a graveyard shift.
He’s alone in bed.
Something Marcia said before she left for work really bothers him.
“I don’t feel in love with you anymore. I mean, I still love you, like a really good friend, but I don’t want to have sex anymore.”
What does it even mean when your wife says she loves you but isn’t in love with you??
Josh still has feelings for his wife and can’t imagine living in a sexless marriage.
He feels desperate to bring affection back, the cuddles, and the sexy Sunday mornings.
But he’s not sure where to start.
He feels like he’s done everything a great husband should do.
He’s always quick to agree with her and never pressures her with his views or opinions.
She’s a very strong, independent woman, and he always appreciates her for being that way.
On the outside, Josh seems easy-going.
But on the inside, he feels like Marcia’s withdrawal is unfair.
He hopes that leaving little clues about what bothers him will make Marcia change.
Like when she takes trips without him.
Or when she’s at work all night and he sleeps alone.
He would never openly say what bothers him; he doesn’t want to create conflict.
Instead, he cleverly slips in snide comments about her trips, hoping it will discourage her.
He’ll make sarcastic jokes about being home alone, hoping she’ll feel bad for him.
That’s how Josh drops bread crumbs instead of speaking openly and honestly.
When Marcia messes up, Josh never gets angry.
But he does give her a look that says, “You’re being dumb.”
When she’s not in the mood for sex, he won’t say anything negative… but he gets mopey, hoping she’ll have sympathy.
Josh is unaware that his indirect behaviours are not helping to bring affection back into his relationship.
To Marcia, it’s a huge turn-off when he beats around the bush, trying not to offend her.
Deep down, Josh is insecure about facing conflict.
Marcia senses this.
She would feel more secure in the relationship if he was more secure in himself to be direct with her.
When your wife loves you but isn’t in love, she’s struggling to relax into her feminine state, where she can feel affection with you.
She needs your masculine confidence to feel safe enough to relax.
Not just physically relax, but to emotionally relax and open her heart.
This is the deeper connection feminine needs that awakens her desire for physical closeness and intimacy.
Masculine Confidence Polarizes Your Wife’s Feminine Attraction Towards You
Josh thinks he’s doing everything a great husband should do for his wife!
He prioritizes her pleasure, ensuring she orgasms first
He’s always agreeable
He sacrifices time with friends, leisure activities, and solo adventures to be with her on the weekends
He works really hard at his job and always puts food on the table
He’s remodeled the bathroom and put new carpet in the house, trying to make her happy
Josh feels resentful, knowing he’s done so much without Marcia reciprocating
For all he’s sacrificed, shouldn’t she at least show him some affection?
But these actions won’t bring affection back.
Josh’s efforts with strings attached make Marcia feel manipulated.
Maybe that’s why your wife loves you but isn’t in love with you.
To her, you feel like another kid to take care of.
Another child with needs she has to meet.
And your smoldering resentment for all you’ve done only makes her feel like she needs space from it all.
Lead By Example When Your Wife Loves You But Isn’t In Love
Josh never buys himself anything nice, but he secretly hopes his wife will.
Snacks, a new shirt, renting a movie, going in nature, or planning a fun trip – those are things he wants, but he never actually asks for.
Instead, he broods over his expectations not being met.
He waits in frustration for his wife to meet his needs.
There are things Marcia secretly hopes Josh will do for her, too.
She thinks Josh should know her well enough to take charge when she’s overwhelmed.
That he should be able to buy her an outfit she likes or know what book she wants for her birthday.
Both of them are suffering from a lack of experiences they think the other is responsible for.
This is what happens when a relationship loses masculine/feminine polarity.
You get stuck in a stalemate.
The Google Search History That Nearly Ended Josh’s Marriage
Here Josh was… Spending the wee hours of the morning watching YouTube videos about how to save your marriage.
He found one guy who seemed to have solid advice.
Josh found his website and eBook.
Yikes!
The eBook cost $7.99.
Screw that!
Josh went back to watching free self-help YouTube videos.
Then another hour slipped by as he found some porn.
The next morning, Josh woke up exhausted from little sleep.
He left for work.
Nothing changed in his life.
When he got home, Marcia was beside herself.
She pointed to the computer screen and then to the browser history.
“Have you been watching porn?” She demanded.
“No!” Josh studderd, knowing he was caught red-handed.
“Well, how do you explain the browser history?” She said, furious.
Josh made up a story, blaming family members who stayed with them.
Marcia believed the lie, but Josh knew this wasn’t over.
Here’s a video with perspective on why masculine confidence is magnetic when your wife loves you but isn’t in love with you:
She Doubting Her Feelings For You? Masculine Confidence Is Vital
What To Do When Your Wife Loves You But Isn’t In Love
When your wife loves you but isn’t in love, the relationship is over.
Not your future relationship with her, your old relationship with her.
It’s time for marriage 2.0.
And marriage 2.0 won’t happen until you start turning pages in the next amazing chapter of your life.
You have to launch into this new chapter knowing you’ll be ok even if your wife doesn’t join.
This is how you create an INVITATION into something better.
It’s how you bring affection back through attraction.
She has to get to know you all over again.
She has to fall in love with you again.
Josh’s pain in his marriage got so bad that he finally broke down and spent $7.99 on the eBook.
This was the first time he had ever invested in himself.
If felt strange, like he needed someone’s permission.
This was a turning point.
Josh gave himself permission to prioritize his own development.
Making himself a priority felt good!
Soon, he did something he never thought he would: He hired a life coach.
It cost over $10k.
His business saw a 30% boost in profits as a result.
Josh continued to invest in himself, spending over $50k in personal development over the next 24 months.
He showed up to the coaching sessions consistently.
He followed through on the homework.
The personal work rewired his brain.
The results of investing in himself were off the charts.
With a new mindset toward life, a community of men who had his back, and balls of brass, he boldly faced his fears.
His property portfolio doubled.
His business brought in over a million in sales.
He manifested a job that covered all his coaching investments and an additional $50k as a down payment on his dream house.
His relationship with women became sensual, deep, and meaningful.
And most importantly, Josh’s sense of well-being and love for life flowed out to others.
Josh has to pinch himself each morning when he looks out the window.
He’s actually living his dream life TODAY!
Marcia didn’t like his new life.
And that gave Josh clarity.
No more settling.
No more trying to smile while he hurt on the inside.
The new woman who came into his life in this new chapter loved the life he built.
They SHARED important values that kept the relationship strong.
For many of my clients, this “new woman” was a new version of their wife.
New things start coming out of her when new things start coming out of you.
Sounds too good to be true?
Well, it’s a true story.
Your Next Step To Bring Affection Back Into Your Marriage
Nothing outside Josh changed.
He still lives on the same planet as he always has.
What changed is that Josh became a confident husband, brother, employer, son, and leader.
Why is it that we men want a priceless marriage but struggle to invest in ourselves?
Waiting for your wife to improve is a never-ending wait.
Show her a new you before it’s too late.
Work on your own lack of self-worth, low self-esteem, and dependency on others for joy and love – and let that magnetism do all the attracting.
This is about securing YOUR amazing future.
Before you can bring affection back into your marriage, you have to put yourself first.
2 Ways You’re Turning Your Wife Off Without Realizing It
If you have an emotional or upset wife, you might be adding ice to the cocktail without realizing it. I know you don’t mean to. You try to be a good husband. You work hard, provide, and sacrifice. But each night, your wife rolls away from you in bed and your kiss lands on her cheek, at best.
This article is for you if your wife has ever said these things:
“You don’t have my back.”
“Stop trying to fix me.”
“You don’t get it.”
Sound familiar?
Then keep reading.
The Part You Don’t Know You’re Playing
I know a husband who worked long days for years.
He took pride in sacrificing so his family could have a good life.
He never wanted his wife to worry about money.
He worked nonstop to provide a bigger home, reliable cars, and even a hot tub.
Whenever problems came up, he handled them so she could relax.
He told himself this pace would only last until he made his big break and could retire
One afternoon, he came home from work and found his wife crying.
“I’m just so lonely,” she said.
He was angry.
He did not want to come home to an upset wife.
Wasn’t he giving her the dream life?
She had comfort.
Security.
Freedom.
Deep down, he felt jealous of how much freedom she had.
He also felt deeply disrespected that she couldn’t appreciate the future he was building.
His response was typical of most men.
He explained.
He justified.
He defended himself.
He didn’t want to be blamed for how she felt.
But this only pushed her further away.
That’s the part he played and didn’t even know it.
His upset wife eventually stopped opening up to him.
Let’s get you secure in yourself so you can show your upset wife empathy and support.
I want you to:
Be grounded in your unique masculine blueprint
Set clear boundaries
Live from your values
Lead with calm confidence
Be irresistible to women
Have you had man-to-man mentorship before?
It will change your life.
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