Masculine Confidence Framework

Category: Attraction

This section contains Empowering blog articles are for men passionate about creating attraction with their cold, dismissive, or withdrawn wife.

My Wife Wants A Divorce But I Don’t!
I tip my hat to you, brother! Saying, “My wife wants a divorce but I don’t” bears testimony of your love and care for the relationship. Trying to keep your family and marriage together is a noble act! This article will help you focus on root issues that must be addressed for your marriage to be saved. I’m including a true story about how one of my clients saved his marriage.

Do Not Do What You Feel Like Doing

Notice how paramedics behave when they show up to the scene of an accident.

They arrive calm, intentional, and focused on their role without adding to the drama.

Almost all the things you feel like saying, feel like doing, and feel should make your wife want to stay in the marriage will only push her away.

The reason is simple.

Right now, you are in a state of fear and desperation.

You’re insecure about the future of your marriage.

Have you ever met a desperate salesperson?

Did you want to buy from them?

I think you see my point.

To save your marriage, you’ll need to do things that will feel counterintuitive.

The proof is in the pudding; just read the true story below.

Paul Told Me, “My Wife Wants A Divorce But I Don’t!”

Paul came to me desperate to save his marriage of 10 years.

Over the last two years, he had tried to be the best husband possible to turn his marriage around.

Then he learned his wife had been having an emotional affair.

Ugh.

Paul was hurt beyond words.

He’d cut off his right arm if it could save his marriage and keep his family together.

About 20 minutes into our conversation, it became obvious what was wrong with his relationship.

Paul’s wife had become her own man.

We can identify when our wife has become her own man when she…
- Is making most of the decisions
- Is the only one addressing conflict with friends and family
- Has been in charge of the romance department for a long time
- Is being logical, punctual, and direct
- Acts from her thinking instead of her heart
- Notices what needs to be done and goes first
The magic formula for marriage to work is for the man to be masculine and for the woman to be feminine.

Men can choose to be masculine whenever they want.

However, a woman isn’t necessarily able to be feminine whenever she wants.

Like a flower that needs water, soil, and sunlight, a woman’s femininity needs a safe environment to emerge.

Women who become their own men are made, not born.

For many years, Paul had been wishy-washy in his choices.

He avoided conflict and placated to whatever would make his wife happy.

Pleasing her during intimacy was his source of personal validation.

Since he didn’t want to come off as an asshole, he would always agree with her and not set boundaries.

His mantra had been, “Happy wife, happy life”.

And that set his wife up to feel alone and unprotected.

Her fun, flirty, soft, and affectionate side needed a knight standing at the door for her to feel safe.

A knight is NOT:
- A people pleaser
- Reactive
- Conflict avoidant
- Afraid of her emotions
- Easily triggered
Those traits make women feel like they have to fend for their own safety.

A woman who fends for her own safety will put up her guard and become her own man.

There is ZERO chemistry once your wife becomes her own man.

How Paul Saved His Marriage

Paul and I worked together for almost nine months.

Over that time, we focused on building his masculine frame so he could have confidence in his relationship.

He learned how to respond from his own agency and to interact with his wife from a place of empathy and curiosity.

The biggest test to his confidence came when I told him, “If you love her, you need to let her go.”

Paul finally stopped resisting the divorce process his wife had been asking for all along.

He finally accepted that if she couldn’t see a future with him, then she was free to go.

This was not an easy choice, and it weighed heavily on him for weeks.

Paul focused on self-care and spent time with quality men he looked up to.

Then, one day, (when he least expected it) his wife called off the divorce.

They made love that night and to this day are still together.

Their marriage is very different now since Paul is leading the relationship with his masculine frame.

His wife is learning to relax into her feminine energy and let go of things as Paul takes the lead.

Have You Said, “My Wife Wants A Divorce But I Don’t”?

If you’re ready to be guided on a path of building your masculine frame, then reach out.

The masculine confidence framework I teach men enables the kind of environment women need to relax into their affectionate, vulnerable, soft, and juicy side.

Our first call is free!

I was once that guy who called a mentor and said, “My wife wants a divorce but I don’t”.

I’m ready to share all the insights I’ve collected over the years to help your marriage!

I promise you’ll gain instant clarity about what to do differently in your relationship.
July 16, 2024
How To Make Your Wife Sweet & Affectionate In 7 Days
You want to make your wife sweet and affectionate, but can you handle some raw truth about her? There are 3 steps to take this week to turbo-boost your relationship. But first, let’s face the raw truth head-on.

The Raw Truth About Changing Your Wife

Fact check…We can’t change other people.

That’s the raw truth.

For us men, this is hard to swallow.

I’m the oldest of 4 brothers.

As a kid, I was the biggest.

I could make my brothers do whatever I wanted.

Our father could make us do whatever he wanted.

A dominating voice or fear of punishment was all it took.

I developed a subconscious belief that others should bend to a man’s will.

I tried for 10 years to change what I didn’t like about my wife.

Then, in 2018, a mentor showed me a different way.

You see, I had it backward.

You can’t make women sweet and affectionate, but you can be the kind of man women are sweet and affectionate with.

There is what women say they want, and there is what they can’t help but want.

I’ll show you how to activate what she can’t help but want.

If You Can’t Make Your Wife Sweet & Affectionate, Then What Should You Do?

If we get back to the primal roots of what it means to be masculine, 99% of marriage issues clear up on their own.

Attraction is NATURAL and will occur without our intervention if we stay in our masculine frame.

Here are 3 steps to take this week so your wife can experience your attractive, masculine frame.
1. Stop applying negativity to things you don’t like
2. Celebrate your wife
3. Go do things you love
Do the above for the next 7 days and notice what changes.

If you like the changes, keep it up!

Being negative about what you don’t like about your wife has about a 5% success rate.

Yet we men tend to use negativity a lot.

You know who else uses negativity to change what they don’t like?

Children.

Like I always say… Women crave men, not boys.

If someone’s behavior has the power to make us negative, they are our boss.

Women are attracted to a man who can’t be bothered, not a man who makes her the boss of how he reacts.

If we take it personally whenever she does something for herself, we are once again acting like a boy, not a man.

In his article, “No, You Can’t Change A Person” Mark Manson points out how trying to change others is manipulation and a violation of personal boundaries.

Having good intentions won’t make up for the violation our wife feels when we try to coerce or change her behaviors.

To Make Your Wife Sweet & Affectionate, She Needs To Be Celebrated

Your wife’s deepest need is to be seen to her core and praised for who she is.

When you celebrate your wife’s “wins” or fun times she has with her friends, you are showing that you are happy for her and glad she had fun.

I used to keep a mental scorecard of how much attention my wife gave me vs others and would make a fuss if she had fun without me.

Experience has shown me women feel a draw towards those who celebrate them.

She isn’t out to maliciously hurt you, but it can feel like that if you have a scarcity mindset.

An abundance mindset knows that other people having love, attention, money, intimacy, or fun won’t reduce what’s available for us to create.

The Secret To Erotic Intimacy

When you take the initiative to do things you love for your own sake, you lift a huge burden off your wife’s shoulders.

At the core of wild, fun, erotic intimacy is the exchange of energy.

The type of energy doesn’t matter, really.

Feeling very upset with each other can translate into passionate intercourse.

Annoyance can turn to a playful tease until you are both so ravenous you’re ripping each other’s clothes off.

But if you’ve been using the marriage bed as a place to GET validation…

If you’ve been looking to your wife to remove your horniness..

Then your wife will feel drained by the mere thought of having intimacy.

Get out this week and do something you love.

Let it fill you down to your toes.

Swim in it.

Come home with a spark in your eye and let your wife off the hook for making you happy.

Such behaviors tend to have a happy ending.

It’s time to be comfortable in your own skin and let attraction do all the work.

Be the kind of man who can make your wife sweet and affectionate again by celebrating her.

I would love to hear about your personal situation and get to know you.
July 10, 2024
What To Do If Your Marriage Is Failing

When your marriage is failing, it can feel like being stuck on a runaway train heading straight for a concrete wall, and you have no idea how to hit the brakes. This article and video give three steps to maximize your chances of saving your relationship.

Men Who Saved Their Marriage Took These 3 Steps

It’s a lonely season when Google is the only person you can turn to when your marriage is suffering.

Many men can relate.

You’re completely alone, trying to fix problems with your wife that you have no idea how to fix.

But you don’t have to feel alone.

I connect men into a brotherhood where they share sage old wisdom unfiltered.

Here is some of that wisdom…

When Your Marriage Is Failing, Take These 3 Steps

Step 1: Don’t do what you feel like doing

When your relationship is struggling, doing what you feel like doing almost always makes matters worse.

Do you feel like begging? Don’t.

Want to get her a dozen roses? Don’t.

Think it’s time for an ultimatum or a letter declaring your undying love? Don’t.

Everything done out of separation just feels needy to her.

There is a time to boldly and confidently declare your wants, but at this point of marriage collapse, you have way too much fear and anxiety in your blood for your actions not to reek of desperation.

Step 2: Come to terms that the marriage cannot be worked on.

We can only work on one thing, and that is ourselves.

The “relationship” is what happens when you are around her.

It’s a natural result of what you are like, mixed with what she is like.

Take responsibility for your 50% and only work on YOU.

You need to grow the biggest pair of balls you’ve ever had and let the version of the relationship you’ve been feeding in your head go.

That means dropping the idea that she’s a total bitch or that she’s your “one and only”.

When your marriage is failing, it’s easy to assume that if you stop fighting for the relationship, it will end.

Or maybe you fear she’ll run off with the neighbor or forget all about you.

These are all fear-based assumptions that are simply not true.

I see it all the time… men who NEED the relationship to work end up divorced.

What we want in life can never be created from a place of fear, demanding, or chasing.

If your wife smells any of that on you, she’s out.

It feels controlling and unloving to her.

Things like love, affection, and a deep relationship cannot be white-knuckled into existence.

Trying to “work on the relationship” is the same as trying to fly a kite when there is no wind.

No amount of fixing or tweaking the kite will allow it to soar until there is wind.

Being a man of momentum who is unshakable in himself, has a specific purpose he’s passionate about, and fearlessly creates the experiences he loves in life is the wind your relationship needs.

Step 3: Let her come to you.

Your wife can’t come to you if you’re not standing somewhere solid for her to join.

Want her to be happy? Figure out how to be happy yourself.

Want her to respect you? Show her respect.

I know your deepest desire is to give your failing marriage the best chance for survival.

To be chosen, desired, and sought after again, you’ll need to give her choices.

Instead of chasing her, you need to back off.

Back off from needing to know “why” and back off from trying to fix it.

If you’re full of anger, resentment, expectations, and gloom, it’s a low bar for her to join you at.

Invite her to a juicy, interesting, exciting way of doing life by living it now, even if she doesn’t join.

The man who keeps checking over his shoulder to see if she’s responding still reeks of desperation.

Here’s the “ya but” I hear from men: “Ya but Garrett, being apart too much is what got us here. My situation is unique. I think we need to grow closer and spend more time together to rebuild our connection.”

That sounds logical, but the numbers do not lie.

I never see my clients save their marriages by spending more time with their wife once she’s said the words “I need space”, “I can’t keep doing this”, or “I want a divorce”.

What you can do is invite her into awesome things you love doing AFTER giving her at least 3-6 months of space.

Backing off for a few weeks isn’t enough time when your marriage is failing.

If you’ve been married for over 25 years, you’ll probably have to give space for 12-24 months.

This is not a race.

You didn’t get her overnight; you won’t be getting out of it overnight.

Progress needs to be slow and steady for her to trust it.

You want to build desire in her.

Real, hot desire.

Let’s be honest.

The real reason you want to spend more time with her right now is that you’re in a panic when apart.

She can sense that you are leaning on her to settle your panic.

This makes you feel like another kid to take care of…that’s not attractive!

Your Next Step If Your Marriage Is Failing

When your marriage is failing, it’s not the time to try random tricks and hacks to save it.

Imagine thousands of men worldwide who have already been in your situation.

Think how valuable it would be if they all came together to share what has worked and what hasn’t worked in creating a great marriage.

Over the years, these men would accumulate a wealth of wisdom to share.

Here’s my secret: the wisdom of these men is what you gain in my private coaching!

You’re not going to learn principles I made up.

I’m passing wisdom on to you from the knowledge of countless mentors and men around the world.

Save yourself years of frustration by reaching out.

April 6, 2024
5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love In Marriage
If you want a long-term relationship, you need to understand the crucial stages to lasting love. I usually show men a few slides when they reach out for a consultation. They help you understand the stages every marriage goes through. I put the slides in this article so you can see what I mean! I go even more in-depth in the video below.

5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love In Marriage

Many men want a better marriage, but they feel alone and uncertain about what to do.

It seems like every conversation and promise to improve only digs them into a deeper hole.

But talk with other men and you’ll quickly realize we’re all in the same boat, experiencing similar relationship dynamics.

I want to give full credit to Dr. Jed Diamond for introducing me to the 5 crucial stages to lasting love.

Based on my marriage and the many men I’ve helped, I’ve adjusted these stages to what I’ve seen most guys (and myself) experience.

I’ve also added more information about what women specifically experience when they’re questioning if they married the wrong man.

The 5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love

Here are the 5 seasons I see every marriage go through:
1. New Relationship Season
2. Monogamous Season
3. Bonded Partner Season
4. Disillusionment Season
5. Long-Term Love Season
It’s important to recognize which season you’re in so you can make the right choices.

Each of these seasons needs something different to add spark and love back into the relationship.

For example, giving your partner flowers in the monogamous season will warm her heart.

But in the disillusionment season, flowers won’t do much for her.

This is why you can’t apply random Instagram dating advice to a marriage of 15 years.

Another example is having a date night.

Date nights in the monogamous season will make your wife feel close to you, even if all you do is show up to the date.

By the bonded partner season, you’d better know how to lead an emotional connection with her on that date, or it won’t do much for your marriage.

Her fears started the day you first met and will continue to evolve.

It’s in her nature.

Fears like, “Where is this going?” and “Am I good enough?”

Allison Armstrong compares women’s need for reassurance to that of a strainer… everything you pour in drains out.
- Did you love her yesterday?
- Did you connect with her yesterday?
- Did you show leadership yesterday?
In her world, all of that is gone today like water through a strainer.

Whatever you created with her TODAY is all she has to ride on.

How you act RIGHT NOW, in this conversation, is as good as the marriage will ever be (in her eyes).

How The 5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love Unfold

A new relationship season swamps your brain in dopamine.

That’s the first of the 5 crucial stages to lasting love.

This stage is easy!

A simple touch or eye gaze feels electric and sensual.

However, women feel a lot more fear daily than men do.

When you start getting affectionate with a girl you like, she soon wants to know, “What are we?”.

Most guys settle her fear by assuring her he’s no longer pursuing other girls.

Making her your girlfriend calms her relationship anxiety for a few years at most.

Eventually, she brings up her next fear: “Are we going to tie the knot?”

We men tend to keep resolving her fears as they come up.

After the proposal, we address where we’ll live, if we’ll have kids, if we’ll have chickens, etc.

Once we put a ring on her finger and settle all these fears, most men start coasting through life.

We behave as if we can’t lose her.

By this point, you’re having lots of sex.

The release of oxytocin suppresses dopamine in your brain.

The result?

You feel like bonded family, not honeymoon lovers.

You tend to act more domesticated, abandoning the majority of your hobbies, friendships, and freedoms for her and the family.

You’re at your lowest point of attractiveness during this stage.

Many women have a midlife crisis at this point, since life feels like it isn’t going anywhere.

Welcome to the disillusionment stage, where both the husband and wife question if they married the wrong person.

Maybe that’s why you’re reading this now.

Disillusionment is the 4th step in the 5 crucial stages to lasting love.

You’re so close!

But this is the stage where divorce happens 75% of the time if the man doesn’t understand it.

Her 5 Stages Of Disillusionment

Here are the 5 stages I see women go through once they enter the disillusionment stage:
1. Self-Improvement Stage
2. Checking Out Stage
3. I’m Not In Love With You Stage
4. I Need Space Stage
5. I’m Done Stage
If you catch the signs of her disillusionment early, you have a much higher chance of saving the marriage.

But most of us totally missed the warning signs of the self-improvement stage
- She started doing more work around the house
- She tried initiating sex more
- Maybe she started going to therapy or the gym
It’s easy to think her self-improvement stage is just her finally getting her stuff figured out!

What’s really happening is she’s giving the marriage one last shot.

Her taking the lead in a relationship like this isn’t natural for her.

As a result, she often experiences burnout.

Once she burns out, she checks out.

The self-improvement stage is easy to miss since we think the marriage is improving by her making an effort

If you make no effort for your self-improvement during this time, your wife will enter the “checking out season”.

You’ll get obligation sex from her in the “checking out season”.

She’ll complain less, too.

That’s because women only complain when they care about things.

Her care is dropping.

The ship starts to sink fast once she checks out because not long after, she’ll say the words, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you“.

If you continue to be the same guy you’ve always been in the relationship, divorce is on the horizon.

The path to divorce starts with her entering the “I need space” season.

You’ll know she’s in the “I need space season” when:
- She doesn’t want you in the room when she changes
- She’s making plans or traveling without you
- She’s spending most weekends away from the house
- She’s sleeping separately or wanting her own place
Once you’ve heard the words, “I’m done,” there is only a 4% chance the marriage can be turned around without divorce being involved.

The time from the “self-improvement stage” to the “I’m done” stage is usually about 2 years.

I have met men where it took 10 years, but that isn’t the norm.

I also know several guys who were very confused by how passionate the sex was after she said, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”.

What’s happening is she’s trying to find release for the intense emotions boiling in her.

This is why we can’t use sex as a gauge for marriage repair.

What most of us experience over this time is “the ice queen”.

Her closed-off, icy moods are like a zombie version of who we knew our wife to be in years past.

How You Can Take Charge Of The 5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love

Building a life around shared values is the only way you can lead a relationship out of the disillusionment season and into the lasting love season.

This does NOT mean you have long conversations about values to convince your wife to stay.

The tone in your voice, how you handle your emotions, staying connected to your wellbeing…That is how she FEELS your values.

There is deeper work to do.

Many coaches are only helping men go from point A to point B.

I do transformational coaching so that you can self-coach, self-source confidence, and be self-assured that you are making the right choice 100% of the time.

I compare it to teaching someone how to shop for food vs how to grow their own food…Which guy do you think will confidently survive an apocalypse?

If you’re ready to step up and lead the 5 crucial stages to lasting love, reach out.

I promise you’ll have a better sense of what to do after we talk.
March 25, 2024
How To Get Your Wife Back With Honesty (3 Myths Busted)
I totally understand why you want to get your wife back. You care about her. You love her. And you go to bed feeling gutted she isn’t in your arms anymore. This article debunks 3 online myths about “getting your ex back” with brutal honesty. Keep reading or watch the following video to gain clarity about what works and what’s all smoke and hot air.

How To Get Your Wife Back With Honesty (3 Myths Busted)

Debunking Myths On How To Get Your Wife Back

Let’s pull out the shotgun and eliminate a few misconceptions running feral on the internet.

Myth 1: You can save your marriage even if your wife doesn’t want to.

I’ve been engaging with thousands of men in troubled relationships worldwide for years, and this is unheard of.

Yes, you can do self-improvement even if she doesn’t want to.

Sure, you can invite her to join a new standard of interacting in the relationship.

What’s self-evident is that until SHE decides she wants the marriage to work, fighting for the marriage fails nearly every time.

I explain this more in my article, Walkaway Wife, Why You Need To STOP Chasing Her.

What really works is LETTING GO of the marriage and accepting that if she doesn’t want to be married to you, she is free to go.

I’m not advocating that you should file for divorce, but I am saying you shouldn’t try to resist it.

Let go of:
- Needing her to give you certainty
- Needing her to give you affection
- Needing her to love you again
- Needing her to stay for the kids
- Needing her to see how much she stands to lose
By letting go, she no longer feels burdened by your NEEDS.

Needs stink.

Needs push her away.

Be ok and let go.

Myth 2: Opening up more to your wife will bring you closer together.

This is the kind of advice you’ll hear from women and wiki pages on how to improve relationships.

Digging everything out from under the rug so you can identify your attachment styles and childhood traumas can be equally as unproductive.

In the therapy world, it’s called “low-mood therapy” when you try to focus on everything “wrong” with the relationship.

Despite many women claiming this would have closed the gulf between her and her husband in years past, only about 5% of women have done enough personal development to handle a man’s raw vulnerability.

For the rest of us in relationships with the remaining 95% of women, we need to trust that having a support system outside the marriage is what works best.

If you don’t believe me, click HERE to read an excerpt by researcher/author Brene Brown.

Let your wife do more talking so SHE feels connected.

Men open up through affection and intimacy, not by talking about the past.

Your wife is the opposite.

She needs to get everything off her chest, or she won’t feel affectionate enough to give you the intimacy you need to feel close and bonded with her.

What she shares doesn’t need to be fixed, it only needs to be heard.

If you react, get triggered, or defend, divorce is in your cards, brother.

Myth 3: “No contact” makes her want you.

I bring this one up all the time.

Yes, when dating, “absence makes the heart grow fonder“.

In a long-term relationship, your absence just feels like relief.

If you want more info on this, read my article, “How To Give Your Wife Space Without Losing Her“, where I discuss what to do instead of “no contact”.

In a nutshell, there are things like neediness, begging, and pleading that you can stop dumping on her.

For guys who can’t shut off their insecurities, I do recommend the no-contact rule for HIS sake (not hers).

How To Get Your Wife Back With Tried & True Practices

The masculine confidence framework I teach men isn’t about becoming some badass with a sports car and tattoos.

I help you build a clear framework so you’ll never second-guess if you’re responding correctly.

You’ll gain a purpose for your life that goes beyond your wife and kids.

You can’t awaken your wife’s passion without this kind of clarity and life mission.

This is a whole new version of yourself she will need to experience.

Will it get your wife back?

She will either be strongly attracted or strongly repelled by it.

That polarizing force is the only way she can have feelings for you again once they’ve been lost.

What I guarantee is the right woman will be drawn to it, and sometimes that person is your ex.

Are you ready to stop relying on YouTube duct tape to patch your relationship together?
March 17, 2024
Walkaway Wife: 3 Red Flags It’s Coming
You didn’t marry a walkaway wife: 3 red flags about YOU can push her right out the door, though.

Even if she’s a Christian…

Even if you’ve always had good intentions….

There are 3 red flags in men that women walk away from.

Walkaway Wife: 3 Red Flags It’s Coming

Red Flag #1: You Fail Her “Jealousy Tests”

Here’s the thing with a walkaway wife: 3 red flags have arisen from the many men I’ve worked with.

When a woman leaves a marriage, it’s rarely from a specific argument or forgotten birthday.

She has been suffering for years, while doing a very good job of hiding it.

A large part of her desire for you revolves around how secure you are.

She doesn’t consciously come up with ways to test your jealousy.

Like I said, this is mostly a hidden thing she feels.

What happens is her feminine way of making connections everywhere she goes reveals how secure you are.

Think of all the connections she makes with people as a “jealousy test”.

Below are some examples of how a man can fail these tests.
- Getting controlling or suspicious when she has male friends
- Stressing out when she gets a text from a guy
- Anxiously pestering her about why, what, who, or where she was
- Losing your cool when guys give her attention
Even if all her male friends want to get into her pants, it’s not a red flag.

Women are very good at keeping guys in the friend zone.

Just look at how many husbands are stuck in her friend zone, going for years without sex.

If you’re wife has to adjust her life because of your insecurities, your relationship is on borrowed time.

Take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why you give a rat’s tail who your wife is friendly towards.

This was my excuse back in the day: “It’s not that I don’t trust her, it’s that I don’t trust other guys!”

Another excuse I’ve heard is, “She’s disrespecting me with other guys!”

Both excuses are based on something most women detest: insecurity.

I have to laugh at myself for trying to justify those excuses while my marriage was sexless.

Seriously.

I tried 99.6 “hacks” to get my wife to be intimate with no success.. and I was STILL insecure that with someone else, she would give in…

Trust me, a woman’s affection is impossible to gain when SHE doesn’t want it to be accessed.

When our wife feels like we can’t handle how she lives her life, she stops sharing it with us.

Not long after, she stops letting us inside her heart and body.

Can we really blame her for closing off when every time she lets us see into her world, we have a cow, act disrespected, or mope around?

Red Flag #2: You Keep A Mental Score Card Of What She Owes You

This red flag sounds like this: “After all I’ve sacrificed for this family, the least you could do is give me some sex!”

Keeping a mental scorecard is deeply revealing about our intentions and indicates a long-term chronic behavior of self-abandonment.

I was the guy who “sacrificed” my weekends, time with friends, living location, and hobbies for my wife.

On a deeper level, I stopped standing by my own beliefs, stopped prioritizing my own needs, and held her approval on a pedestal.

Everything I did carried a hidden expectation.

I would never say it, but boy, could she smell it all over me.

It got so bad, I couldn’t even hang a picture in the living room or spray the weeds on the sidewalk without expecting her to reciprocate love (preferably in the form of sex).

Transactional love will send your wife running for the hills.

Red Flag #3: You Can’t Appreciate The “Messiness” Of Your Wife.

Women are born with a unique ability to create, embellish, stretch, and change the status quo.

She’s like an artist painting her masterpiece.

An artist’s room is covered in paint, scraps of canvas, and pieces of craft supplies.

Yet from the contemplative and messy room of an artist, a high-value painting emerges.

A very feminine woman won’t stick to a schedule, finish what she starts, maintain a consistent mood, or make up her mind.

If we can’t look at our wife’s “messiness” with the same appreciation as a kitten tumbling in a box of yarn, she’ll grow more masculine, ridged, and closed off around us.

We didn’t marry a dude, so we need to stop expecting her to be one.

She was designed to bring new things into this life.

Just look at birth.

There’s blood, poop, slime, screaming… It’s pure chaos.

But from that mess emerges a new life, your child.

She is built to “birth” many new experiences into your life.

Because she is feminine, it will always be messy.

She is literally the embodiment of Mother Nature.

Rainbows, sunsets, hurricanes, and wildfires.

Walkaway Wife: 3 Red Flags To Resolve Before It’s Too Late

The 3 red flags you just read about all stem from one common factor: an insecure husband.

I spent years trying to “trim the wings” of my wife to prevent her from engaging with other men.

I managed to get her lifestyle so boxed in, I thought there was no way another man could get with her…Then she had an emotional affair with a woman!

Like a lightning bolt to my brain, I suddenly realized isolating your partner from other humans because you’re insecure has never worked and never will.

I transitioned from being someone who would act extremely distressed if my partner hugged another man to genuinely celebrating with her when she receives attention.

This new, secure way of living has produced fidelity in my relationship in ways I NEVER experienced before!

You can’t white-knuckle what you want into your marriage, you have to attract it.

We’re only making the grass greener on the other side of the fence when we’re puking insecurity all over our side.

The moment we make something forbidden or taboo, it’s instantly more exciting and tempting to flirt with it.

To this day, I’m shocked when I see how being secure with my partner’s engagement around others has disempowered their charm over her.

The old me never would have believed it, but letting go is how you get some things.

Your Next Step To Attract The Marriage You Want

Through my coaching, we’ll unpack all the things that scare you.

We’ll face them head-on with NEW perspectives and NEW understanding.

This rewires your brain.

You’ll never stop feeling scared or insecure; you’re human.

But my process builds a new relationship with those feelings so they no longer control your reactions.

You don’t need to fear a walkaway wife: 3 red flags can be nipped right now.
February 29, 2024
How Two Of My Clients Re-Attracted Their Wife This Week
Two of my clients re-attracted their wife in a way that shocked even them. Two weeks ago, these women were done, checked out, cold, and planning their exit. Today, they’re affectionate, engaged, and back in their husbands’ arms. I’ll share the story of how these runaway wives came running back.

How Two Of My Clients Re-Attracted Their Wife This Week

If You Love Her, Let Her Go

There’s a milestone that men I work with usually reach.

The husband finally drops his expectations for his wife to make him happy.
- He would like her to love him, but he’s cool if she’s not up for it.
- He wants a sweet and affectionate partner, but he won’t try to change her if she isn’t.
- He would like her to be married to him, but he’s not going to hold the door shut if she wants out.
When a man reaches this stage, his wife tends to second-guess her choice to leave the relationship.

Before my clients re-attracted their wife, they had to pass her tests.

She wanted to know if his changes were genuine.

How did she test him?

By being moody & critical to see how he responded.

By bringing up the past, to see if he would accept responsibility instead of being defensive.

Both of my clients stood strong under her tests!

And both had partners who were emotionally cold and adamant about ending the relationship a few weeks ago.

For months, these guys chased their lover, trying to get her to choose him.

Today, they’re being chased by her.

Neither of these guys had been trying to save their relationship recently (and that’s the secret).

When these men first started coaching with me, they were hell-bent on saving their relationship.

During our first few weeks together, we focused 100% on strengthening their masculine operating principles so they could be strong enough to let their partner go out of love and self-respect.

Why self-respect?

Because you deserve someone who loves you in return.

My clients re-attracted their wife because they got this.

Over and over, I’ve seen women circle back when the man demonstrates this much self-security and love by setting her FREE.

Letting go of a woman includes letting go of all the stuff you’ve been holding against her.

These guys also learned to let go of the neediness, fear, desperation, and anxiety that had driven them to hang onto their relationships with a death grip.

True love does not possess; it sets free.

That’s a truth you have to reckon with.

In the story of the fisherman who claims he eats fish because he loves fish, it’s obvious that it doesn’t feel like love from the fish’s perspective.

Is the love you have for your wife “fish love”?

Making her stay because you don’t want to feel heartbreak or loss isn’t love.

My Clients Re-Attracted Their Wife Because Leadership Is Attractive

Part of having a strong masculine core is being able to LEAD.

Leading means going first.

Want a happy wife? Be happy first.

Want a respectful wife? Respect her first.

If you want a wife who chooses you, then let her have the option to leave.

Letting your wife go and then hiding in the bushes waiting for her return doesn’t work.

Both my clients were shocked when their partners wanted back into the relationship because they GENUINELY had let her go, moved on, and were actively creating NEW amazing lives without her.

The masculine confidence framework provides a blueprint to gain massive self-confidence, a clear value system, and an inspiring mission worth living for.

Women are attracted to men who are bold leaders who fearlessly create the life they want!

As my clients discovered, your ex isn’t the only person who notices how attractive you’ve become when you’re secure enough to let her go.

Many times, other women come out of the woodwork when you’re a confident, secure man.

You go from having no women who want you to having several.

Not everyone has the means to commit to 1:1 coaching like these guys did.

That’s why we created the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

In the course, Mark Drezga & I teach the framework you need to regain your mojo and masculine leadership without breaking the bank.

My clients re-attracted their wife, I promise you’ll attract something you didn’t expect when you start living in the new frame the course teaches.

I’m a “Go big or go home” man.

If you share the same mindset, we can make something BIG happen together.

1:1 mentorship is the BIGGEST, most personalized, powerful, and heart-connecting way to learn this stuff.
February 12, 2024
How To Make Your Wife Want You Again
I’ll show you how to make your wife want you again by becoming a version 2.0 of yourself. Women respond to the energy you bring into the relationship. Below is a video with examples from the TV show “Vikings” to illustrate the kind of energy your wife can’t resist.

Focus On Causes, Not Symptoms

Every day, I speak to men in a desperate spot.

They sincerely want to save their failing marriage, but everything they do seems to backfire.

I know how easy it is to hyper-focus on everything that’s “wrong” in your relationship.

You’ll assume what’s “wrong” is preventing your marriage from turning around.

The problem with this approach is you’re trying to resolve symptoms, not causes.
- Lack of affection/no sex
- Poor communication
- Blaming attachment styles
- Love language frustrations
- Emotional coldness/withdrawal
- Her inability to be respectful or do self-improvement
The list above is symptoms, not root causes.

I say it all the time, “Love covers a multitude of sins”.

When your wife feels attracted to you, she overlooks the annoyances (and so do you).

The level of personal happiness and fulfillment you feel outside of marriage determines how you’ll eventually feel inside the marriage.

The degree to which you can create an amazing life without your wife determines the degree to which you can create one with her.

If you’re not emotionally secure enough to let her go, you’re not emotionally secure enough to have her.

These are the kinds of insecurities and root causes that cripple a relationship.

How To Make Your Wife Want You Again If She Wants Space

If your wife wants space, that means she doesn’t want to manage your needs for you.

She’s tired.

She wants to feel a SPARK when she’s around you, not obligation.

Watch my video below to see how a woman’s feelings change when her man gets his spark back.

How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

One of the most effective ways to attract a woman is to let her go.

She wants to have the freedom to CHOOSE you.

How do you give her that freedom?

By letting her have the option to NOT choose you.

A man without an inspiring life mission will see his wife as his source of happiness.

She becomes his purpose for living.

You can’t let her go if you can’t imagine living an amazing life without her.

I know this seems backwards.

You probably think your inability to live an amazing life without her is proof of your love for her.

But it’s the opposite for her.

Your partner is not wired to be responsible for her happiness AND yours.

A huge burden is lifted off her shoulders when you have a life that’s so energizing that your spark, charisma, excitement, joy, and inspiration are full regardless of what she does.

How A Viking Reattracted His Lover

In the video, I point out how Rollo wallows in his self-pity, victim mindset, and lack of purpose.

These behaviours make Siggy lose her attraction for him.

Rolo blames his brother, his ex-lover, the gods’, and everyone else for his life.

For a time, he tries to demand respect and love from others.

This quickly makes his situation worse.

I realize this story is made up, but it mirrors what I see with men I work with.

Again and again, I’ve seen my client’s wife circle back after he gets clear, excited, and motivated by his positive future to the point that he lovingly lets her go.

These men grew until they:
- No longer resisted the divorce process.
- No longer needed to “be right”.
- No longer needed her mood be different for him to be ok.
- Could unshakably trust in his own ability to create the experiences he wanted.
- Accepted that she is on her own journey of personal growth and is progressing at her own pace.
- Stopped “fighting for the marriage.”
In the video, Siggy suddenly became re-attracted to Rollo because his spark brought energy to the relationship.

That’s the opposite of needing the relationship to give him energy.

She wanted to feel ALIVE.

Women move towards what makes her feel ALIVE.

You get to take the lead and demonstrate what feeling alive looks like.

Your partner is wired to respond to the energy you bring into your relationship.

Your vibe, tone, and look in our eyes do all the talking.

How To Get Your Wife Back If Your Spark Is Gone

Getting your wife back won’t happen until you get your spark back.

When I take a man through my Masculine Confidence Framework, I’m giving him the foundation for who HE is.

I give you clarity on HOW to be YOURSELF in your relationship.

You’ll emerge from this framework with personalized, unflappable self-trust and inner security.

You read that right.

YOUR masculine frame is not going to consist of the same values or operating principles as the next guy.

My coaching challenges YOUR pain points, YOUR perspectives, and YOUR excuses.

An interesting study revealed how high testosterone doesn’t necessarily equal high female attraction.

What the researchers discovered was that low levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) had more of an appealing effect on women than high testosterone did.

You don’t need to be more “macho” for your wife to want you.

You need to be more comfortable in your own skin, more OK, and more relaxed to face what needs to be faced.

If you’re ready to have your brain rewired so you can make decisions quickly, know how to be with feminine emotions, and live as a man with an inspiring purpose, then let’s talk.

I promise you’ll gain clarity on how to make your wife want you again without being fake or manipulative.
February 10, 2024
She Said, “Is Sex All You Think About?” – How To Respond

I think every man’s wife or girlfriend, at some point, has said, “Is sex all you think about? It feels like a misunderstanding… a booby trap… a negative assault on a positive thing. Well, keep reading. I’ll show how to defuse your partner’s landmine questions.

She Said, “Is Sex All You Think About?” – How To Respond

“Is Sex All You Think About?”

Make no apology for being male!

Reflect on the history of humanity spanning thousands of years.

Since the beginning, women have been attracted to men with a sex drive.

She’s been love-sick for the man who gives her children.

Ladies have chased men simply because they are men.

Thanks to men’s insatiable drive for physical intimacy, the human race has not gone extinct.

How cool is that?

When a woman says to me, “Is sex all you think about?” I smile and say, yup!

Sex opens a man’s heart.

It makes him care.

Sex is the portal through which men gain emotional connection and bonding.

This is how we’re supposed to be wired; there is nothing wrong with it!

With annoyance, your partner might say, “Is sex all you think about?”

But that’s a reflection of her mood, not you.

It’s that simple.

Her statement isn’t a judgment call; it’s a testimony of her feelings.

The secret is not to get defensive.

Don’t give her a lecture on how men need sex.

This is a time to hear her feelings, not her words.

It’s Not Personal When She Says, “Is Sex All You Think About?”

Accusations won’t affect you if you know who you really are.

If you take other people’s complaints personally, something happens in your subconscious.

Part of you feels repressed, needing outside validation.

This creates a split in your personality.

That split feels like loneliness, depression, lack of motivation, and despair.

If you try to close the gap by making the other person understand your intentions, you’re not actually healing the split.

To keep your personality whole and secure, do one thing: Stop letting other people decide what is acceptable or unacceptable about you!

There’s a toxic mindset among a lot of men these days.

The mindset is that men in their natural form are chauvinistic, patriarchal pigs who need to change for women to want them.

This is not true.

At your core, you are a provider.

There is nothing “toxic” about that.

You’ll often hear me say, “There are some things we get to know as men that are best not to share with women”.

Here’s the irony: What I’m sharing in this article is one of those things.

The masculine error is when we get so focused on success and providing that we are not fully present in the moment.

That’s what she feels when she says, “Is sex all you think about”?

To her, your drive for intimacy seems poorly timed.

The present moment isn’t sexual for her, and it feels like you’re not tuned into that.

We men with logical brains can foresee probable outcomes.

When your child wants to eat candy for lunch, they may not understand why you won’t let them.

Explaining, “Just because something tastes good, doesn’t mean it’s good for you” won’t resolve the child’s FEELINGS for candy.

Sometimes you’ll foresee that your wife’s train (opinions) will wreck further down the track.

But her perspectives are based on feelings, not foresight.

If you try to use logic to help her see this, her feelings will feel neglected.

Keep logic to yourself, and simply offer her your curiosity and empathy.

Being A Man On A Feminine Planet

Nature is feminine… Weather is feminine… Seasons are feminine… there’s no escaping it!

At every turn, you will be challenged by the changes feminine brings.

If you are confident in your sexuality, you won’t feel insulted when your wife or girlfriend complains about it.

But do you feel insulted?

If so, you might have a split within yourself…a part of you still looking for outside validation.

Every man fears being seen as a sexual predator.

To not feel like a predator, he looks for his partner’s approval to express his sexuality.

That’s not what I’m talking about.

This is something deeper.

A part of you that feels like your sexuality is to much, to dirty, or not good enough for women to love it.

That can be healed in my masculine confidence framework.

Sexual shame leaks out by needing validation that your sexuality is ok.

Women are a hurricane of emotions, ideas, creativity, and life.

Her feminine chaos of feelings needs your strong emotional framework.

That framework feels weak if her complaints bring out your defensiveness.

Online influencer Teal Swan wrote a great article on masculine containment if you want more information on what it means to have a masculine frame.

Being a woman’s husband isn’t too far off from being her father.

Some women reject this masculine frame and become her own man.

These masculine ladies won’t feel sexual polarity with men who are strong, secure, clear-thinking, driven, or unapologetic.

The reason is simple: she doesn’t need a man.

Sadly, a woman stuck in her masculine will be riddled with tension, exhaustion, frustration, loneliness, and burnout.

Women tend to be softer and feminine when YOU stay in your masculine energy.

Being the man you need to be is the only thing you can control.

How To Be A Secure Man When She Says, “Is Sex All You Think About?”

You can transform from being a guy who rattles off an 18-point logic list when your partner rolls her eyes to becoming a man of inner confidence and charisma, who wears a slight smirk even on rainy days.

To be a woman’s frame, you first need to have your OWN frame.

That’s what I’m teaching men how to do.

Q: If my wife loves me, shouldn’t she want sex with me?

A: The warmth and affection a man feels for a woman he loves largely revolves around his sexual attraction for her.

Women are the opposite.

Her sexual desire orbits around how safe she feels, how relaxed she is, and her overall mood at the moment.

There are 3 types of sexual desire for women.

1. Primal instinct to make a baby

2. Primal desire to release pent-up energy

3. A progression into sex because of a strong sense of safety, trust, and emotional connection.

In a long-term relationship, #3 is the one you want to learn to build with your wife.

Q: Why does my wife never initiate sex?

A: Your wife probably initiated sex when you were dating.

She probably did through the honeymoon phase, too.

Once you understand the 5 stages of love every relationship goes through, it makes sense why she no longer initiates sex.

At your wife’s core, she is feminine.

It goes against her nature to go first, lead, or take initiative.

She can do that for a time, but she burns out.

Feminine is a receiver, a benefactor, the one who desires to be taken somewhere in life.

She wants you to TAKE HER in love-making.

The secret is to be tuned into your wife enough to know when to go for it.

Feminine will drop subtle clues when she wants to have sex.

You might be totally missing those cues.

Q: My wife always rejects me when I try to initiate sex.

A: Imagine your wife has 3 lights on her forehead (red, yellow, green).

If you get rejected every time you initiate sex, it means you are initiating when her light is red.

If she’s down to cuddle but rejects you if you try to touch her anywhere else, it’s because her light is yellow.

I haven’t been rejected for sex in many years because I only initiate sex when her light is green.

Learn to read her body.

If you don’t feel her receptivity, STOP.

Trying to turn her on will fail until you build a stronger emotional connection.

Q: I’m afraid that if I stop initiating sex, our marriage will go sexless.

A: Some men believe sex is like pizza.

The saying goes, “bad pizza is better than no pizza”.

But I’m here to tell you that you will NEVER have good pizza unless you stop eating bad pizza.

Show yourself respect for what you deserve and stop settling for less than that.

If your marriage goes sexless because you won’t settle for anything less than passionate, loving, intimate sex, that gives you clarity about whether your wife is the kind of woman who deserves your awesome sexuality.

Don’t assume it’s all your wife’s fault.

If you are not being the masculine energy to your wife’s emotions, she won’t feel attraction that opens her body.

February 9, 2024
How To Make Your Wife Love You Again
As a newlywed, the title, “How To Make Your Wife Love You Again,” never would’ve grabbed your attention. A few years, bills, and kids later, it can feel like the #1 issue in your life. This article uncovers two mindsets to change if you want genuine intimacy and attraction from your wife.

How To Make Your Wife Love You

Natural Love Vs Forced Love

You want to make your wife love you.

But you don’t want forced love.

You want natural love.

A girl who craves you all on her own.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Shouldn’t she love me for who I am?”

Nope.

She doesn’t owe you anything.

Nobody does.

“But she vowed to be my wife! She promised!”

Doesn’t matter.

She can’t force herself to love you.

The sooner you drop the lies from society and fairy tales, the happier you’ll be!

Your happiness is KEY for her to feel natural desire for you again.

Your wife is a female, so she will always act on her FEELINGS.

Confused why that matters?

Because if your wife makes YOU feel unloved, unappreciated, and undesirable, you have an attraction problem, not a love problem.

Attraction is a FEELING.

Feelings are not created by fixing anything.

Your male brain doesn’t want to accept this as true.

Your brain has questions for her:
- Why won’t you be affectionate?
- Why won’t you have more sex with me?
- Why won’t you respect me?
- Why won’t you be sweet and romantic?
- Why won’t you open up?
Solving the “why” problem won’t bring attraction back.

Funny how you would NEVER use all those “why” statements on a first date to come off as attractive.

Yet it’s your go-to when your partner pulls back.

For me, those “why” statements are how I sound when I’m responding from fear, anxiety, and insecurity.

Those are the deeper feelings we need to face within ourselves.

What helps is a new way of thinking about them.

Mindset shift #1: Realize things like affection, love, sex, and intimacy are things that ensue but cannot be pursued.

That means you can’t work on intimacy to improve intimacy.

You can’t work on attraction to have attraction.

Attraction is a natural result of how it feels to be around you.

Many dictators have demanded obedience and loyalty.

It’s a logical approach to force something to happen.

But the commitment of their followers is never fervent.

Leaders who ATTRACT their followers gain true loyalty.

Females are RESPONDERS to the vibe in the room.

Think of feminine love, affection, and desire like the moon.

Without a light source, there is no moonlight.

You are her light source.

You need to find your inner happiness if you want to make your wife love you again.

What do you love about yourself?

Are you showing yourself the priority, appreciation, and care that you would like from your wife?

It’s easy to think that helping with the dishes or doing more chores will make her feel attraction for you again.

But your partner isn’t drawn to your actions.

She is drawn to how you behave while you do those things.
- We’re you looking for approval?
- Did you do the dishes with strings attached?
- Did you work hard all week, then expect to be rewarded with sex?
The vibe you put out while you’re doing these things is what she responds to, not the action itself!

This doesn’t mean you should stop unclogging the toilet or mowing the lawn.

Do those things for your OWN sense of integrity, no need for her to reciprocate.

She will sense when you stop doing things with a vibe of expectation towards her and start BEING a man who enjoys living up to his own standards he has for himself.

Make Your Wife Love You Again By Not Chasing Her

The most effective way to push a woman out of your life is to chase her.

I know you’re thinking, “I thought women want to be pursued.“?

This is true.

Women WANT to be pursued.

Give her that pursuit, and she loses the WANT.

Keeping her wanting is the secret to attraction!

You know what comes along with wanting? DESIRE.

Warning! This is one of those things you get to know as a man, but it will backfire if you share it with your wife.

In her emotional brain, it will never make sense to her.

Just ask yourself this: how often has placating to your wife’s perspectives helped your sex life?

Exactly.

Adjusting your responses to her whims gave you a friend-zoned, sexless marriage, didn’t it?

To make your wife love you again, you’ll need to trust in the principles of attraction.

Trying to align with her feminine perspectives has been lowering her attraction for you all along.

It’s time to let her experience a new you.

One who doesn’t need to make momma happy for him to be happy.

Needing Her Support Turns Her Off

Women are wired to show up to the finish line and feel ALIVE, celebrating with you in your accomplishments.

Hand-holding, support along the way, and being your emotional tampon during the race is a mothering role.

Your lover is not going to sign up for that.

Needing a mommy to support you won’t make your wife love you again; It just makes you feel like another kid to take care of.

The support and encouragement you need must come from men.

A lot of us sought mothering energy from our wives through sex!

We used sex to validate ourselves as being successful men.

We saw our ability to give her an orgasm as the feminine approval we desperately needed.

The more secure you get, the less you’ll need her validation.

That’s when her desire for intimacy grows.

Mindset shift #2: Stop holding others responsible for how you feel. Instead, take responsibility for the vibe you put out.

I’ve known women who broke up with their previous partner because “all he wanted was sex”

But now she’s having tons of sex with her new lover.

What’s different?

Here’s what changed: The new lover doesn’t go sour when she’s not in the mood.

If she pulls away from his touch, he doesn’t pester her or mope.

He loves her intimacy, but doesn’t NEED her intimacy.

He doesn’t compete with her phone for attention.

His life is interesting and full of adventure.

That kind of man is a LOT more interesting than TVs, phones, or the neighbor.

He kisses her in the morning with zero expectations that she will reciprocate.

He prioritizes himself so he can BRING energy to the relationship instead of trying to GET energy from it.

She understands she doesn’t have to provide anything for him to feel empowered.

This kind of self-reliance to happiness is attractive!

Don’t expect her to start ripping your clothes off.

She’ll start making small bids for a deeper connection.

She’ll linger around you more, ask how your day went, and be more comfortable with you being close to her again.

Make Your Wife Love You Again By Ending Sexual Neediness

There’s a specific process I went through to build my security from the inside out.

Some of my old mindsets needed to be rewired.

Some of my values had to be rewritten!

Building a new, version 2.0 inner man is like undergoing surgery.

Cutting out false ideas and challenging your old beliefs is bloody work.

I personally sought mentorship from men who had what I wanted.

In my coaching, you’ll gain a deep understanding of the enduring principles and perspectives held by these individuals.

If you’re ready to stop blaming your wife for how you feel and start living like a powerful, clear-thinking, masculine man, then reach out!
February 9, 2024