This is part 3 of a 3-part series called “Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid” (Click HERE to read part 2). I’m about to share my personal experience. I hope you can learn from my mistakes and be all the wiser!
Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid If You Want To Turn It Around
- Don’t use triggers to determine your behaviors, choices, or actions.
- Don’t assume sacrifices and loyalty will win a woman’s heart (know how to value your differences instead).
- Avoid holding out for her if she’s said, “I’m done”.
I know what it’s like to love a woman who doesn’t want to be with you.
I also know what it’s like to love a woman who used to love you, but no longer does.
In my early days, I used logic to try to attract a girl who clearly didn’t love me.
I believed that if I saved myself for her by not dating anyone else, she would end things with her boyfriend.
In my imagined fairytale, she would become my dream wife by falling in love with my devotion and abstinence from other women.
I demonstrated these traits to her by not dating any other girls for YEARS while she dated other guys and was seemingly not interested in me.
Despite her full knowledge of my interest and my years of remaining available for her, it never made her want me.
Even after my divorce, I waited a few years to date.
My reason was to work on my loneliness without feminine support and to grieve the loss of my marriage.
But if I’m honest, I also hoped my wife would come running back and I would still be available for her.
Over the last few years of doing men’s work, I’ve come to terms with a startling reality.
Women rarely are reattracted to men who hold out for her after she’s said, “I’m done”.
I’ve seen more of my clients save their marriage by moving on than by waiting around like a loyal puppy.
I’ve even seen this in my dating life.
Once you have a girlfriend, two more women almost always start chasing you.
When you’re solo with no girlfriend, you tend to go unnoticed by the ladies.
Being The Kind Of Man Women Chase
When we see women pursue a man who appears to be solo, it’s usually because he’s confidently leading a life of FREEDOM.
He’s doing what he wants, when he wants, however he wants.
He doesn’t hold back because of fear.
He pushes his limits.
He creates what other people would be to fearful to even try.
These are the guys we see solo sail the Pacific, get in a position of leadership, or stand for a cause while everyone else plays it safe.
The lesson is clear.
Sitting at home waiting for your runaway wife to come back NEVER works.
Waiting is like getting your boat stuck on a sandbar.
She wants to be on a boat that’s going somewhere.
Being a martyr by enduring years without sex, weeks without meaningful conversation, or a job you hate sinks your boat in the sand
Being The Man Your Wife Would Cheat With
It goes without saying.
When a woman does have an affair, it’s never the man paying her bills or sharing her bed who she cheats with.
Yet what do we men tend to do when she pulls back and we want intimacy?
We try to spend MORE time with her, share MORE experiences with her, and talk about the relationship MORE with her.
Less is more.
Being the kind of man she would cheat with means we are living our own life.
To be this kind of man, we must STOP seeing her moods or affection as having any meaning about our value, integrity, or purpose.
Thinking we need her permission to live our best life puts our balls in her purse and makes it hard for her to respect us.
We need to formulate our own script we operate by that makes us want to get out of bed every day and enjoy living.
Avoiding her emotions or stonewalling doesn’t count as getting out and living your own life.
I will help you clarify a new meaning for your purpose as a man in my masculine confidence framework.
Being a MAN is your inherent role on this earth.
Yet what that means has become hazy in our modern times.
I will help you get back to the primal roots of what it means to be masculine and what it means to be feminine.
The magic of attraction between masculine and feminine has existed for all of eternity.
You can tap into this magic by learning how to stay in your own pole (and let her be in hers).
