Tag: Men’s Relationship Advice

  • If I Give Her Space, Won’t We Drift Apart?

    If I Give Her Space, Won’t We Drift Apart?

    If your wife asks you to give her space, it didn’t come out of nowhere. By the time she gets to this point, she’s already been emotionally detaching for months, maybe even years. And most men don’t realize it until it’s too late.

    Today, we’re going deeper into the three stages of detachment a woman goes through before she ends a relationship.

    If you don’t catch it early, you’ll find yourself blindsided when she finally says, “I need space.”

    I’m not talking about the kind of “space” where she’s just tired tonight; I’m talking about when she’s considering divorce.

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    1. Emotional Detachment

    This is the first and most subtle stage leading up to your wife needing space

    It’s also the easiest to miss.

    Emotional detachment begins when she stops feeling seen, heard, or valued in the relationship.

    Her emotional needs aren’t being met, and over time, her heart starts to close off.

    This doesn’t happen overnight.

    She used to share her thoughts, feelings, and worries with you.

    But now? She keeps them to herself.

    Bringing up the little things no longer happens because she’s already convinced herself you won’t understand.

    At this stage, you might notice:

    • She’s less engaged in conversations.
    • She stops initiating affection or spending quality time.
    • She’s quick to get irritated over small things.
    • She begins focusing more on her friends, work, hobbies, or anything but you.

    2. Spiritual Detachment

    Once she emotionally detaches, she starts seeing a future without you.

    This is when she stops believing in “us.”

    Women stay in relationships when they feel a deep sense of trust and emotional safety.

    Not just physically, but spiritually.

    When that’s gone, she starts to imagine what life would be like without you.

    She stops picturing you in her future and instead, envisions her life alone or with someone who actually listens when she talks about her day.

    Signs of spiritual detachment include:

    • She stops making long-term plans with you.
    • She avoids deep conversations about the future.
    • She doesn’t care to argue anymore (because she’s already mentally checking out).
    • She’s indifferent to your efforts to “fix” things.

    3. Physical Detachment

    By the time she physically detaches, she’s already gone in her mind.

    Her body follows what her heart has been feeling for months or years.

    This is when she stops wanting to be touched, avoids intimacy, moves into another room, or moves out of the house entirely.

    At this stage, if you try to force closeness, it only reinforces her belief that you don’t understand her.

    She sees it as pressure, not love;

    Kind of like when a salesman follows you around a store even after you’ve said, “I’m just looking.”

    What physical detachment looks like:

    • She stops wanting to be intimate or withdraws from sex.
    • She recoils from physical touch.
    • She prefers to be alone rather than spend time together.
    • She starts sleeping separately (or expresses a desire to move out).

    Don’t Fear Drifting Apart, Give Her Space

    Most men react to their wife’s withdrawal by chasing her harder.

    They try to fix things, talk it out, or prove their love through desperate gestures.

    But that only makes things worse.

    Instead of chasing, you need to shift your focus inward.

    • Detach from needing her validation. If your happiness depends on her affection, she will feel pressured and suffocated.
    • Rebuild your sense of self. Who are you without the marriage? What makes you excited about life outside of her?
    • Respect the space she needs. Giving her space isn’t about losing her, it’s about creating an opportunity for her to miss you.

    Give Her Space By Removing Pressure

    If your wife is asking for space, it’s because she feels overwhelmed by pressure.

    The pressure can be from the relationship or life in general.

    Your job isn’t to fix it right now.

    Your job is to become the kind of man who is steady, secure, and capable of standing strong, so you don’t add to the pressure.

    I can show you how.

  • Failing Marriage? 2 Mistakes Successful Men in Their 40s Make

    Failing Marriage? 2 Mistakes Successful Men in Their 40s Make

    Are you a man who is highly successful everywhere in life yet finds yourself in a failing marriage? I will show you a clear path to achieving the same success in your marriage that you’ve mastered in other areas of your life.

    Why Are Most Men Blindsided By Their Failing Marriage?

    By your 40s, the sheer amount of effort you’ve poured into your business or career starts to show.

    The early days of marriage when pennies were pinched have faded and basic life expenses are no longer a stress.

    You hoped that years of hard work and sacrifice would pay off, allowing you to enjoy a fulfilling life with your wife for the long term

    But now that you stand at the best point in life to begin this epic chapter, why doesn’t she doesn’t seem interested or engaged?

    All too common, your years of labor have taken a toll on the marriage, and a distance has grown with her.

    It can feel like she has a separate life, one filled with routines and friends you know nothing about.

    The story below tells how a man named David found himself in this exact situation and what he did to turn it around.

    David’s Success At Work Didn’t Equal Success At Home

    David stood in his office, staring out the window.

    His mind was usually absorbed in work.

    Today, however, it was consumed with thoughts of Chelsie, his wife of 18 years.

    At work, everything was clear.

    He set high standards, monitored performance, and got results.

    But at home, his system was failing.

    Chelsie’s cold shoulder had started months ago.

    At first, David ignored it, thinking it would pass.

    But she stayed distant.

    She avoided his touch, brushed off his attempts to connect, and barely talked about her day.

    Frustrated, David had told her many times, “This is unacceptable! I need love and affection in this marriage! What is your problem?”

    Each time, it only made things worse.

    “I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need,” Chelsie snapped one evening.

    Her words stuck with him.

    Why couldn’t she just tell him what was wrong so they could fix their failing marriage?

    He managed dozens of people at work, each with their own needs, and got them to perform.

    Why couldn’t Chelsie do the same?

    David sighed and turned away from the window.

    Deep down, he knew the answer.

    Chelsie wasn’t one of his employees.

    She was his wife, his source of love. The one person he knew could shake his confidence.

    Women Struggle To Feel Affection For A Man Who Fears Her

    At work, David felt in control.

    He could fire underperformers or change strategies without hesitation.

    But at home, Chelsie’s rejection cut deep.

    Her coldness made him feel small, like he wasn’t enough.

    That fear paralyzed him.

    David had spent months focusing on what he didn’t like in their marriage.

    He pointed out her flaws and told her she was wrong for shutting him out.

    But he never thought about what she needed.

    His critical thinking was his strength at work, but it was failing him at home.

    The truth was, Chelsie didn’t want a manager.

    She wanted a lover.

    She wanted the playful, relaxed man she had married.

    The David who made her laugh, wasn’t afraid of her moods, and didn’t treat their relationship like a quarterly project.

    That version of David had been buried under his drive for success.

    He was so focused on work that he lost touch with the fun, loving side of himself who could enjoy the moment.

    Deep down, there were many things Chelsie wanted to share with David, but she knew her true feelings would be met by his frustration or need to fix them.

    David feared her feelings, and he feared losing intimacy… a power Chelise didn’t want to have over him.

    Like darkness slowly enveloping her, Chelsie’s affectionate feelings for David diminished as he continued to hold her responsible for his frustration.

    2 Hidden Mistakes Successful Men Make At Home

    Whenever I’ve coached highly successful men, I’ve noticed two common mistakes.

    The first mistake is that we think our wife’s cold reactions are unfair to what we’ve provided.

    We look at our list of amazing things we’ve done, analyze her current reaction, and then think, “This doesn’t add up!! I’m doing my part, why aren’t you doing yours?”

    If we can leave our calculator brain at the office for a moment, we can start to see how our wife’s reactions are EXACTLY what they are supposed to be.

    Imagine how different you would respond if you really believed that her feelings were exactly what she was supposed to feel and she was reacting to them the best she could.

    The 2nd mistake I see highly successful men make is that we think our money, house, wife, and frequency of sex are confirmation of our success in life.

    I fell into this category hard in my marriage.

    The moment my cash flow, household, or love life changed, I was a frazzled wreck.

    I expected my wife to “mommy” my frustration so I could feel strong enough to take on the world.

    “Mommy” looked like her making a warm meal, washing my socks, and listening to me talk on and on about my problems.

    If we want an intimate, sexual relationship with a woman, we cannot make her our mommy.

    When a man internalizes his sense of confidence and well-being, he won’t react to his wife as David did, which drove love and affection right out of his relationship.

    He won’t need a mommy to make him feel better.

    How Did David Save His Failing Marriage?

    That evening, David sat in the living room.

    For the first time in months, he ignored his work emails.

    He thought about Chelsie’s words: “I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need.”

    Those words hurt, but they also challenged him.

    Could he see past his frustration and fear?

    Could he show her, not tell her, that he cared?

    David knew it wouldn’t be easy.

    He’d have to face his fear of rejection and let go of control.

    But if he approached her with empathy instead of criticism, maybe he could break through.

    Maybe he could melt the icy wall between them.

    He closed his eyes and pictured Chelsie’s smile.

    He remembered the way her eyes lit up when he walked into the room.

    That’s what he wanted to see again.

    For the first time in months, he decided to stop pointing out what she did wrong.

    Instead, he would SHOW her what he wanted their love to be like.

    His first step was to not react, but listen when she made small bids for conversation.

    Within a few weeks, they were back to laughing and enjoying each other’s company!

    How did David turn around his failing marriage?

    Ask him and he’ll say –“I internalized my self-confidence & stopped fearing the reactions of the woman I love”.

    How To Become The Confidant Man Your Wife Needs

    Over the last three weeks, four of my 1:1 clients have told me, “Holy cow, my marriage has done a full 180!”

    These are highly successful men who have learned how to not settle for the status quo while also not being a controlling jerk.

    I can teach you how to be a man with a solid spine and a soft heart.

  • How To Never Be Rejected For Sex Again

    How To Never Be Rejected For Sex Again

    Many men are rejected for sex without realizing how they are preventing the intimacy they crave. Dive into this article or watch the video below to discover why women are drawn to men who can face rejection with confidence.

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    Men Who Act Frustrated When Rejected For Sex Experience A Snowball Effect of Rejection

    Rejection by your wife can be frustrating.

    This frustration can push her further away, creating a never-ending cycle of more rejection.

    When our sexual energy is pent-up, it can feel like a problem that needs an immediate solution.

    Being wildly horny in itself isn’t the problem.

    How we act when we feel urgent is what turns your wife off.   

    Although an orgasm seems like an obvious solution, anytime you act desperate, needy, demanding, or mopey, you are putting negative pressure on your wife.

    Negative pressure is a HUGE libido killer for women.

    Sexually frustrated men tend to use their own level of desire to determine if they should initiate intimacy.

    This also leads to more rejection.

    Our wife can sense if we are trying to make love because WE can’t handle our own instincts, or if we are initiating because SHE is ripe for engaging it.

    Acting on our feelings with no awareness of her emotional state is a guaranteed path to rejection.

    She Wants Intimacy With A Man Who Holds His Agency

    I used to believe that my feelings were my wife’s job to take care of.

    If I was hungry, she should feed me.

    If I was horny, she should make love to me.

    This mindset made me feel like a victim of her moods and dependent on her for my happiness.

    Making others responsible for how we feel is a path to codependency, victimhood, and a sense of neediness.

    A man who takes responsibility for his own feelings talks differently.

    He won’t say, “You’re making me angry,” he will say, “I feel my anger”.

    A man who plays the victim will say things like, “That person is making me feel disrespected”.

    A man who owns his agency will say, “My thoughts about that person are making me feel disrespected”.

    Men who hold their agency are attractive to women.

    Your wife wants to feel that you can hold your emotions AND her emotions without losing your agency.

    How To Stop Getting Rejected For Sex

    Imagine there is a green light and a red light on every woman’s forehead.

    If you try to initiate physical intimacy with your wife when the light is red, it will push her away.

    My advice?

    ONLY INITIATE WHEN HER LIGHT IS GREEN.

    Nearly every guy I coach who is frustrated in the bedroom is initiating when she’s giving clear signals to stop.

    We can’t turn her red light green by getting all cuddly and affectionate with her.

    A woman’s desire for intimacy comes in seasons, and she can’t just flip a switch to turn it on.

    There’s no use in getting upset with her season, just like there’s no use in getting upset if it’s summer or winter.

    There is an irony to this.

    When we are happy, inspired, successful, and fun without her giving us sex, the sooner her season changes.

    If you struggle to know when her light is green, read my article 6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom“.

    How To Stop Acting Like A Sexually Frustrated Man

    Women are not attracted to horny, sexually frustrated men.

    But they are attracted to sexy men!

    So what’s the difference?

    Horny, sexually frustrated men can’t handle discomfort.

    Sexy men face discomfort.

    Horny, sexually frustrated men act impulsively.

    Sexy men act deliberately.

    Many horny, sexually frustrated men think they need sex 3 or 5 times a day.

    Here’s the truth.

    When you have BETTER sex, you’ll crave sex less.

    Better sex is enthusiastic, wild, connected, and erotic.

    Before we can have better sex, we first need to build emotional intimacy with our partner.  

    Not taking things personally and tuning into her emotions to validate them is how she feels emotional intimacy.  

    In my coaching, I teach you how to THINK to feel empowered by things that used to drive you crazy.

    Don’t believe this helps?

    Right now, imagine biting into a freshly cut lemon… Imagine your teeth squeezing the tart juice out as it drips down your lips… Did your mouth start to water?

    Your mouth is watering because of the THOUGHT you just fed in your mind.

    Sexually frustrated men need to feed new thoughts!

    I’ll show you how.

  • 4 Critical Steps To Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away

    4 Critical Steps To Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away

    Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away happens in stages. Men are affected by heartbreak differently than women, so the steps to heal are a little different. This article and the video below will help you take the right steps to feeling better.

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    The Pain Of Heartbreak

    Loss of appetite.

    Tears. 

    Inability to sleep.

    Feeling like a used rag flushed down the toilet. 

    Nausea.

    Shortness of breath. 

    What a man goes through when the woman he loves divorces him is no joke. 

    Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away is possible if you follow time-proven steps.

    Why Should Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away Be The Focus?

    When we’re suffering from the loss of our marriage, we men tend to hyper-focus on ONE thing…getting our wife back!

    We think if we could get our wife back, all our suffering would end and the world would feel like a happy place again.

    However, making our wife want to be with us is out of our control.

    We will get stuck in grief for years if we focus on things we can’t control.

    The other problem with focusing on getting our runaway wife back is it leaves us feeling like a powerless victim.

    You know a man feels like a powerless victim when he…

    • Complains about his situation
    • Blames others for the choices he “had” to make
    • Defends why his pain is “different” from what other men face
    • Argues and raises his voice
    • Focuses on all the negative things that make his situation seem “unchangeable.”
    • Always brings up his ex in conversation to point out that she left him and why the relationship could’ve been fixed


    Many songs have been written about men who pined for a woman who stopped loving him until he died.

    Is that any way to live?

    Misery puts a dark cloud over life itself.

    Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away is 100% in our control, and that is why we must focus on it.

    You know a man is staying focused on what’s 100% in his control when he…

    • Sees the cup as half full instead of half empty
    • Can clearly describe what his bright, amazing, love-filled future will look like
    • Stops acting urgent
    • No longer holds others responsible to change for his life to be amazing
    • Bravely makes BIG, BOLD choices to create what he wants (even if nobody else approves)
    • Doesn’t allow fear, loneliness, or desperation to dictate the choices he makes
    • Takes full responsibility for how he feels without holding others liable

    4 Steps To Healing A Broken Heart After Your Wife Walks Away

    1. Come to terms with your denial of reality.

    During a marriage, it’s best if we focus on the positives of our partner. However, after divorce, it’s time to notice what was not positive about our wife. We can easily romanticize her, which perpetuates our suffering. Coming to terms with reality means accepting that she isn’t all the amazing things we thought she was. We need to believe that we deserve better. A self-respecting man will not throw himself at a woman who clearly does not love him. The reality we must accept is that she no longer loves us, and clinging to her prevents the love we want from coming into our lives.

    2. Go alone in nature and unload all your anger.

    We will not be able to heal if we try to suppress our emotions. Go out in nature (far away from people) and fully unload all your anger about the relationship ending. Feel the anger from your head to your toes. An emotion that isn’t fully experienced can fester for decades, keep us stuck, and lead to PTSD. You might find the anger shifts to grief, regret, or resentment. Whatever emerges, get it all out. The goal is to let our body naturally heal by progressing through a whole range of emotions.

    3. Grab a journal and vent all your “if onlys” and all the things you wish you could have made your wife understand.

    When our wife leaves us, our brain will stew and stew on it, analyzing every angle, desperate to find a fix. Mental exhaustion ensues. It leaves us dazed. We can hardly function at our normal capacity. Use your laptop or journal to unload everything in your brain. Write out all your “if onlys”, “what ifs”, and everything you want to explain to your ex. Do not send her any of your epiphanies! Our subconscious can’t tell if we’re using paper or her as a sounding board. Using paper (instead of her) provides relief as if she were there to listen & understand our perspective.

    4. Let yourself grieve the loss

    Letting go and grieving the loss of the relationship is the hardest part. Some call this stage “the lament.” A lament is to mourn what we lost, grieve what will never be, and let go of the story we’ve been clinging to. Hanging onto our suffering does not prove our love for her! I’ve found self-love meditations to be very healing during this stage, along with doing shadow work. It’s important to build a support system during this time, preferably with men who understand your pain and can empathize with how it feels.

    Your Personal Guide To Heal A Broken Heart

    Acceptance is the only path to having a meaningful, happy life, even when life hands us lemons.

    Once we reach acceptance, we can look forward and create a new chapter that’s BETTER than the one we just closed.

    In my book, “A Man’s Vital Guide To Healing Grief” I give a blueprint you can follow to put your broken heart back together and reach acceptance.

    I’ve had my heart broken more than once.

    In my book, I wrote down every step I took to recover so you can have a clear path to follow.

    You know this book will help if you…

    • Wake up at night in a panic that your wife is gone
    • Feel miserable when you see other couples kiss or hold hands
    • Cannot imagine yourself ever attending a wedding again
    • Have lost your will to keep going
    • Feel everything (even your job) is pointless

    Chapter 9 provides a link to get a FREE copy of my “healing loneliness” meditations, along with videos and digital resources.

    Healing a broken heart after your wife walks away can be hindered if we keep holding onto the pain.

    It’s paradoxical, but letting go of the pain feels like letting go of her.

    Part of us doesn’t want to let go, because it feels like we’re giving up or letting her off the hook.

    I help you overcome problems like this (and many more) in my book.  

    Click HERE to get a copy.

    Reach out if you want personal guidance.

  • How To Be Irresistible To Your Wife

    How To Be Irresistible To Your Wife

    This article reveals how to be irresistible to your wife by building erotic desire through seduction.

    Seduction is not about picking up strange women.

    Seduction is about the art of creating and maintaining feelings of positive emotional tension, including sexual tension.

    Perhaps you have a fairytale version of love in your mind.

    In this fairytale, your wife or girlfriend is magically affectionate, intimate, and sexual with you for 60 years… All because you’re such an easy-going, great guy!

    This rarely happens.

    Like it or not, seduction is a game.

    Playing the game is NOT about being a slimy manipulator who tricks women into liking him.

    Games are about having FUN.

    If you’ve ever had sex, you are already a player in the game of seduction.

    The OUTSIDE Game Of Seduction

    Pickup artists use OUTSIDE game to meet and have sex with new women effectively.

    Fancy clothes, nice cologne, a fancy watch… those are all OUTSIDE things.

    These men know how to catch a woman’s eye.

    The female mind loves the tease, temptation, emotions, and illusion of freedom that OUTSIDE game provides.

    However, if you do not have INSIDE game, new women you seduce with OUTSIDE game will eventually break up with you.

    As they get to know you, they realize it was all smoke and mirrors because everything was just an act to get into her pants.

    The INSIDE Game Of Seduction

    INSIDE game is all about the vibe your behaviors give off under pressure.

    Your inner maturity, confidence, self-esteem, vulnerability, and masculine frame are part of your INSIDE game.

    Without a rock-solid INSIDE game, your wife won’t feel safe opening her heart to you.

    Your relationship is on borrowed time when she feels like she can’t open her heart around you.

    It makes her feel like the relationship has no depth.

    Many younger women become infatuated with “bad boys.”

    They assume if his OUTSIDE game feels confident, then his INSIDE game must be very secure, strong, and competent.

    Sadly, most women who marry “bad boys” realize down the road that his INSIDE game is that of insecurity, self-doubt, and a need for validation.

    Many women who have been burned by a “bad boy” will latch on to a “nice guy” next.

    They assume the “nice guy” will have what the “bad boy” lacks.

    Sadly, most women who marry “nice guys” lose sexual attraction for him.

    His softness, wishy-washiness, aversion to conflict, and lack of boundaries feel boyish and feminine to her.

    Women crave to ravish a man, not a boy.

    Mastering Seduction To Be Irresistible To Your Wife

    To be irresistible to your wife, she needs to be seduced again and again.

    She needs to bounce between your INSIDE game and your OUTSIDE game weekly for the rest of your life.

    On the days she’s drawn to your INSIDE game, she loves how her mood can’t rattle you.

    Her complaints are met with your empathy.

    When she brings up the past, you show understanding without getting defensive.

    You like who you are being.

    You trust your intentions, and she can sense your secure vibe.

    On days she’s drawn to your OUTSIDE game, she’s loving that you’re sexting her during the day.

    You’re giving her a wink and a squeeze on the shoulder, or buying her favorite coffee.

    In other words, you are living your best life, and she’s feeling the invitation to join.

    I used to suck at both INSIDE and OUTSIDE game badly.

    I’ve made it my mission to learn and teach men both by mastering seduction in my own life.

    In my Masculine Confidence Framework, I get raw and personal with you on how to be a masculine man in a 1:1 setting.

    You already have the traits for INSIDE & OUTSIDE game hard-coded into your DNA.

    You were born a man women can’t get enough of.

    But along the way, you may have adopted some faulty beliefs about masculine and feminine that need to be rewritten.

    I will help you spot the mindsets that make you feel indecisive, unclear, wishy-washy, and unattractive towards women.

    This way, you can be naturally good at the game of seduction.

    My Masculine Confidence Framework Can Make You Irresistible To Your Wife

    I pack a lot of the most potent things I’ve learned into my masculine confidence framework.

    Below are 4 ways to tell if my framework will help you.

    Are you a man who can…

    1. Be willing to take constructive feedback
    2. Be willing to laugh at your past mistakes
    3. Be willing to follow through on reading and homework assignments
    4. Be willing to turn down her offers for sex

    That last one might sound strange, but you’ll find out why if we work together.

    I’m willing to take you by the hand and lead you each step of the way.

    This kind of mentorship will save you YEARS of trial and error!

  • (Part 1) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    (Part 1) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    This is part 1 in a 3-part series. Fair warning. This might be triggering to read. Trust me when I say triggers need to be faced for relationships to improve. Keep reading to see how a man named Luke learned the hard way that triggers are not a guide for recovering a failing marriage. Also, notice how often Luke changes his mind as he’s met with new advice or his wife’s reactions. If you want to stop the downward spiral towards divorce, don’t be a “Luke”.  

    Luke’s Wife Could Sense His Indecisiveness

    3 Days ago.

    That’s when Luke’s wife, Hailey, said the dreaded words, “I want a divorce”.

    Luke’s world was turned upside down.

    He knew their marriage had issues, but he was shocked she would go so far as to divorce him.

    Luke’s emotions were overwhelming.

    He couldn’t keep the tears back.

    He cried, begged, and pleaded for Hailey to change her mind.

    Nothing he said could sway her decision.

    Determined to keep the marriage together, Luke turned to Reddit for advice.

    “If she wants divorce, let her figure out the divorce paperwork on her own,” several men advised.

    Another man said, “If she wants to move out, let her do it herself”.

    Luke followed this advice and told Hailey she was all on her own if she wanted to leave him.

    Hearing this upset Hailey, but she resolved to move forward with the divorce regardless.

    A few days later, Luke read a free E-book about how to stop divorce.

    The E-book strongly recommended showing leadership by taking charge of the divorce process.

    The E-book claimed that many women reconsider their desire for divorce when they witness their partner taking on a leadership role and meeting their needs.

    Luke took this advice to heart and changed his approach towards divorce. 

    Luke told Hailey, “I’ve got moving vans and a storage unit rented, and will help you figure out the divorce paperwork”.

    Hailey let out a huge sigh of relief.

    With teary eyes, she said, “Thank you so much, Luke, that means a lot to me”.  

    Over the next few days, Luke stayed true to his word and helped Hailey pack her things and categorize their assets.

    Luke Second-Guessed Himself

    Luke could hardly sleep at night with his intense grief gnawing at his gut.

    He loved Hailey dearly, and helping her with the divorce process was tearing him up.

    Luke turned to YouTube in the wee hours of the morning seeking advice on how he could save his marriage.

    A popular influencer said something that resonated with him.

    The influencer said, “A healthy relationship needs honest and vulnerable communication to grow deeper”.

    This jumped out to Luke.

    Over the years, Hailey had many times said, “I want to know what you’re feeling, why won’t you open up to me?”

    Hailey also complained regularly about his aversion to conflict.

    The next YouTube video Luke watched said, “The strength she craves is proven by your ability to stand up to her and set boundaries.”

    Luke realized he was bulldozing his own feelings by helping Hailey with the divorce.

    What do you think Luke did?

    You guessed it, he once again changed his approach.

    The very next day, he told Hailey, “I’m setting a boundary that I can’t help you with this divorce.”

    Hailey’s eyes filled with frustration and she said, “This is why I’m divorcing you! I never know where you stand because you’re always changing your position!”

    Luke replied, “No I don’t! You always make poor choices that put you in situations I don’t want any part of!”

    Luke defended himself by explaining he was trying to be open with his feelings and stand up for himself like she had always wanted him to.

    Hailey got up and said, “I’m staying at my friend’s house tonight. We’re done”.

    How Luke Should Have Responded To His Failing Marriage

    Avoid changing your mind because of a triggering, painful feeling.

    Urgency and desperation are never good reasons to make big decisions, especially in a failing marriage.

    Trust me when I say it’s better to confidently make the wrong choice and follow through than to keep changing your mind in search of the right choice.

    Luke felt uncertain about how to respond to Hailey because he was using her responses to validate whether his choices were correct.

    He also didn’t know how to process grief on his own.

    That pain and loneliness drove him to try a different approach.

    A mature, masculine man must not let his feelings control his choices like this!

    Luke needed to establish a clear personal code that he could follow confidently, regardless of Hailey’s choices.

    He needed a map to follow that didn’t change when his feelings changed.

    Females are more tuned into our state of self-confidence than they are to the logic supporting our decisions.

    If our behaviors are in flux each time a new perspective emerges, we demonstrate that our intentions can be manipulated.

    During separation or divorce, the need for consistency is irreplaceable.

    Resist following every new bit of advice you hear and stick to your own code of conduct!

    It’s okay to change your mind when you do it slowly and deliberately.

    But never change your mind just because you feel rushed or triggered.

    How You Can Gain Clear, Decisive Thinking In A Failing Marriage

    In my masculine confidence framework, I teach you how to sort preferences from values so you can hold yourself to a personal code no matter what.

    Many men confuse stubbornness with confidence and wonder why they frustrate their wives when they try to hold their ground.

    I will show you how to respond to your wife in a way that makes YOU feel good and opens her heart towards you.

    Let’s talk!

    I can’t spoon-feed confidence to you, but you can show up to our call with a commitment to positive change as your first step to saving your failing marriage.

  • 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity Your Wife Secretly Craves

    53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity Your Wife Secretly Craves

    This article provides 53 traits of mature masculinity. The video below uses some movie scenes as examples. Being more masculine isn’t something you have to force. Masculinity is natural when you stop trying to make yourself different or better than other men and embrace the polar opposite of femininity.

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    53 Traits Of A Masculine Man

    The other day, a man reached out to me after watching one of my videos.

    He thought it was pathetic that I teach men how to be masculine, but don’t include things in my videos like cars, golf, or sports.

    There’s something this man hasn’t learned yet

    Although many masculine men do things like sports, fishing, or golf, doing those things won’t make you masculine. 

    Women have a unique gift called a 6th sense.

    This means she can smell your intentions a mile away, even if you’re wearing a Packers jersey in a lifted 4×4 blasting through a mud hole.

    She can smell if you need her validation, if you’re jealous, insecure, or desperate.

    Deep down, your wife wants a man.

    Not a needy boy.

    Not a conflict adverse people pleaser… A MAN. 

    You’re Wife Knows If You’re Trying To Over Compensate

    Your woody can be the size of a baseball bat, and you can still have “small dick” energy.

    That’s because your wife doesn’t look at your body to know if you’re masculine; she looks at your emotional world.  

    These 11 behaviors instantly tell your wife you’re not a secure, masculine man.

    1. Being easily triggered, then acting on that trigger
    2. Always need to be right
    3. Holding other people accountable for your happiness
    4. Raising your voice and trying to defend yourself when questioned
    5. Always having an excuse for why you’re innocent
    6. Blaming other people for your misery/lack of success
    7. Having to put others in their place to feel a sense of status or power
    8. Taking other people’s actions as a personal threat
    9. Getting jealous or taking it personally when your wife finds other guys attractive (or men find her attractive)
    10. Resorting to physical force to “make” people respect you
    11. Seeking revenge and going tit for tat when others “do us wrong”

    These behaviours tell your wife that deep down there’s a lack of self-trust, inner security, and self-esteem.

    She can sense that your feelings control you.

    Being controlled by feelings is feminine.

    For her to feel romantic and sexual attraction for you, you need to have a mature relationship with feelings.

    How Mature Masculinity Handles Feelings

    Maybe your dad used to blow up.

    He’d yell at your mom.

    Hit the kids.

    Throw and break stuff.

    Part of you decided long ago, “I’ll never be like him”.

    So you stomach your anger.

    You play it nice.

    Never rock boats.

    But guess what?

    You’ve become your father.

    Even though you’re not breaking things around the house, you’re breaking your own feelings.

    You see masculinity as toxic and try to dissociate yourself from other men.

    You thought a girl would LOVE to be with a man who wasn’t like “those other ass holes”.

    Now you’re sex life sucks, and you’re chasing your wife for affection.

    She’s not wired to feel attraction to the version of masculinity you’ve conjured up.

    You don’t need to start yelling like your dad, but you do need to stop avoiding feelings.

    The difference your dad never learned is that you are not going to use your feelings as instructions.

    Your values are the only thing you look to when deciding how you will behave.

    That’s what mature masculinity looks like.

    You can have feelings and just be with them without trying to avoid, dismiss, or stuff them down.

    Until you can do this with yourself, you won’t be able to do this with your wife’s feelings.

    Your wife craves a man who can be with her feelings and not try to fix or change them.

    The 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity 

    1. Clear
    2. Calm
    3. Direct
    4. Non-reactive
    5. Capable of danger, but controls it
    6. Steady
    7. Responds, but on his own time
    8. Plays the long game
    9. Is self-reliant
    10. Can’t be emotionally swayed by others
    11. Powerful
    12. Stable
    13. Discerning
    14. Confident
    15. Visionary
    16. Wise
    17. Purposeful
    18. Driven
    19. Physical
    20. Courageous
    21. Honorable
    22. Decisive
    23. Protective
    24. Assertive
    25. Focused
    26. Consistent
    27. Embraces Death
    28. Knowledgeable
    29. World-Wise
    30. Mysterious
    31. Intellectual
    32. Truth Seeking
    33. Mystic
    34. Insightful
    35. Detached from others’ reactions
    36. Engineering
    37. Sees probable outcomes
    38. Vivid life force
    39. Sensitive to the outside environment
    40. Embodies pleasure without shame
    41. Sensual
    42. Compassionate
    43. Empathetic
    44. Creates connection
    45. Reads people
    46. Feel’s other’s pain
    47. Sees potential
    48. Lives from the heart
    49. Is present
    50. Trusts intention over outcome
    51. Creates, invents, and innovates what he wants
    52. Is on a mission
    53. Isn’t urgent

    Why Mature Masculinity Can Save Your Marriage

    Marriages are not saved by jumping through hoops until she likes you again.

    Every romantic relationship (regardless of gender) requires one person who is in the masculine spectrum and one who is in the feminine spectrum. 

    Your wife is incapable of feeling soft, affectionate, nurturing, receptive, submissive, or sexually turned on unless you are behaving as a mature, masculine man.

    Once you are that man, relax and let the law of attraction do all the work.

    How You Can Gain The 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity

    My YouTube critic was correct.

    Fast cars and golf won’t be on our agenda as we develop your masculinity.

    When I teach you my masculine confidence framework, I help you cut the blue wire to your triggers and insecurities.

    I ask you questions so you can see the core beliefs that make you a slave to your emotions.

    I help you create a frame built from values that you would take a bullet for.

  • Why Your Wife Holds Onto The Past…Exposed!

    Why Your Wife Holds Onto The Past…Exposed!

    What I’m about to say might seem unrelated to why your wife holds onto the past, but hang in there. We’re going to navigate the dicey topic of husband/wife roles in modern marriages. This will help you understand your wife better. Below is a video explaining more.

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    Why Your Wife Holds Onto The Past…Exposed!

    A Shift In Husband/Wife Roles

    I grew up in the typical 1950s family model.

    The husband was the breadwinner, and the wife ran the household. 

    Dad, grandpa, and great-grandpa never changed a diaper, washed a dish, or prepared a meal. 

    Neither my mom, grandma, nor great-grandma would be caught dead fixing the roof or changing the car’s oil.

    I assumed it was normal to have clear lines between what men do and what women do. 

    Then I married a strong, independent, career-driven woman.

    That was a real wake-up call. 

    It turns out that men can cook and women can change oil… 

    I had a masculine identity crisis.

    I struggled to know my value, place, and role as a husband.

    Many men are in this spot, feeling like their wives don’t need them. 

    Deep down, you start to question why you’re even in your wife’s life if she doesn’t need you.

    Even though society has blurred gender roles, I’m going to show you some roles that can’t be changed.

    This helps expose why your wife holds onto the past.

    She’s biologically designed to bring balance to who you are.

    Why Your Wife Holds Onto The Past Even If It Creates Friction

    Feminine energy and masculine energy are two polar opposites that can’t be eradicated from our planet. 

    The reason why your wife holds onto the past is because of her biological makeup.

    Most humans with ovaries are going to have feminine energy, and most humans with balls are going to have masculine energy. 

    A human with ovaries is designed to take in, germinate, hold, and absorb the energy around her like an oil spill kit. 

    In fact, she’s so well built for this, she can take in a man’s seed and germinate a new human from it.

    Feminine energy is a POWERFUL receiver, seducer, enticer, and fertile garden ready for “seeds”. 

    What you plant in your wife WILL germinate, multiply, and be handed back to you 10-fold.

    Holding onto the past is what she’s supposed to do. 

    Imagine being a sponge that adsorbs the vibe in the room everywhere you go…eventually, you would feel overwhelmed and need to vent. 

    Most of the time, when your wife brings up the past, she’s just trying to let some pressure out so she doesn’t burst. 

    I love marriage expert Mark Gungor’s humorous take on this in his viral video, The Tale Of Two Brains.

    You’re biologically designed to bring balance to feminine.

    That’s why you prefer to look forward when she looks backwards.

    Being The Masculine Role In Modern Marriages

    The days of mowing the lawn to prove you’re a valuable husband are over.

    The marker of a successful marriage is when the husband and wife value each other’s differences.

    This is how you make babies.

    This is how you build relationships.

    Penetration is the masculine role that does not change.

    Here’s what “penetration” looks like:

    • Stepping FORWARD when others hesitate
    • Making clear decisions
    • Taking the high road
    • Staying present during difficult emotions
    • Challenging the status quo
    • Breaking new ground in areas of finance, freedom, and relationships
    • Playing the long game
    • Having a specific life direction
    • Being polarizing
    • Planting seeds in receptive people (leadership)

    One of the gifts your “penetration” brings to your relationship is that you can create a safe space for her to let some pressure out.

    This is done when you close your mouth and penetrate your wife with your ears.

    Yup, it’s the gift of listening.

    Really listening, so she can let some pressure out.

    Many times, that pressure is going to be about stuff you thought was already resolved from the past. 

    In her world, the past is NEVER resolved.

    History lives to vividly in her emotional memory bank.

    When your wife holds onto the past, she’s not bringing things up for you to explain away or fix for her.

    She just wants to feel heard.

    Your ears can make her feel heard, your words cannot make her feel heard.

    What To Do When Your Wife Holds Onto the Past

    Being upset, arguing, defending, or holding a grudge when your wife holds onto the past is flaccid “penetration.”

    Feminine energy is a container for how you’ve impacted lives.

    It’s valuable feedback that teaches you something about yourself. 

    I’ll stick my neck out.

    I bet 80.7% of the time, the beef you have with your wife’s account of the past is that you feel she’s misunderstanding what your intentions were.

    You also don’t want to re-hash something that’s water under the bridge.  

    A man who trusts his intentions can “penetrate” her version of the past.

    When she brings up the past, a secure man doesn’t see it as an attack, he sees it as a cry for understanding, empathy, and connection.

    He sees her recount as an opportunity to LEAD her to the present moment, where the past no longer exists. 

    A man who trusts his intentions can also learn by her account how he can be different going forward.

    There is always a little truth that stings when she brings up the past.

    That truth can help you better align your actions to your intentions going forward.

    You might assume you’re planting a straight row of corn, but when it germinates, you can see the row isn’t straight.

    Feminine germinates what you plant, letting you see how it impacts people with more perspective.

    This Is Your Call To Action

    It’s time to get off the bus, Gus. 

    Reading blogs and doom-scrolling YouTube is the shallow end of the pool.

    The masculine confidence framework I coach men on will give you clarity about how to show up in your marriage with masculine energy. 

    How you’ve been operating has created the marriage you have. 

    Are you ready to have something better?

  • STOP Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

    STOP Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

    Tiptoeing around your wife makes her feel like she has to fend for herself. This damages her sense of security in the relationship. A grounded, confident husband makes her feel safe by being direct. Here’s a story to help you understand what tiptoeting around your wife looks like so you can avoid it.

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    Why You Need To STOP Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

    The Negative Effects Of Being Indirect

    Gerald felt torn. 

    He sat in the hot tub with his wife, Susan. 

    She looked intently at him for an answer. 

    He didn’t know what to say. 

    Part of him knew if he spoke plainly, all hell would break loose from her.

    The other part of him knew his tactics of tiptoeing around questions had been getting under her skin lately.

    There was a part of Susan Gerald dreaded.

    He had named this part of her “the dragon”.

    Although he had never admitted this term to Susan, she instinctively knew he saw part of her this way. 

    Susan’s “dragon” was a cold, dismissive, angry, and moody personality that usually surfaced around her period. 

    For years, Gerald managed to keep Susan’s “dragon” asleep by not disturbing the peace when she was on edge. 

    He was a black-belt master at adjusting his responses based on how he felt she would react.

    Adjusting your responses is typical when you’re tiptoeing around your wife.

    You’re putting feelers out to see how she takes it before saying your truth. 

    Susan wasn’t the only one Gerald used this tactic with. 

    Customers, family members, in-laws… Gerald could smooth over anything with anyone. 

    Gerald’s Indirect Answers Made His Wife Lose Respect

    Over the last few months, Gerald’s indirect behaviors made Susan feel very unsupported in the marriage.

    She struggled to respect him because she never knew where he stood. 

    Her complaints were:

    • I don’t feel like you have my back
    • You always try to fix me
    • I can’t trust you
    • I don’t feel heard
    • You make everything about you

    As Gerald and Susan sat in the hot tub, Gerald opened his mouth to speak. 

    Susan immediately sensed he was going to walk on eggshells.

    She stopped him mid-sentence. 

    “See! You always do this!!” Susan said.

    Gerald tried to backpedal with a logical excuse.

    It only dug him into a deeper hole.

    Sound familiar?

    It’s easy to try to be blameless while tiptoeing around your wife.

    Susan wasn’t having it. 

    “Just tell me, did you or did you not tell your mom exactly why we won’t be going to their place for Thanksgiving?” She asked.

    Gerald knew he hadn’t been direct with his mom… He didn’t want to piss her off either. Gerald had given his mom a list of excuses why they wouldn’t be there for the holiday…

    He tried to explain himself, then Susan cut him off again:

    “I’m done. I’m done with you never having any backbone… I don’t even feel like I can stay in this relationship.”

    Garald’s marriage was on a razor’s edge from divorce.

    What Susan desperately needed was to feel safe, protected, and contained in the marriage.

    Without masculine “containment“, women feel they don’t have a champion in their corner, and you feel like you’re tiptoing around your wife. 

    How To Stop Tiptoeing Around Your Wife

    Throw out everything you thought you knew about how marriage works.

    You need to get back to the basics of what it means to be masculine, so the natural attraction with feminine can happen.

    Tiptoeing around your wife?

    It feels feminine to her.

    That’s why it lowers attraction.

    I’m not saying buy a truck or play more sports.

    That’s not what makes you masculine.

    Being masculine is about being sure, grounded, firm, present, and clear.

    When we work on your inner confidence, you become that man naturally.

    You need confidence to stop tiptoeing around your wife.

    Fear of conflict, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment… there’s always a fear driving people-pleasing.

    There’s always a fear behind being overly agreeable.

    That fear puts your wife into a state of fight or flight.

    I teach you how to THINK differently about your fears.

    You become solid in yourself and less bothered by how your wife responds to you.

    You’ll be able to open your heart to her when you used to shut down.

    What you used to avoid you’ll face head-on.

    Your wife will be less reactive with your fear out of the room.

  • Roommate Wife Syndrome: How To Bring The Passion Back

    Roommate Wife Syndrome: How To Bring The Passion Back

    There’s no vaccine for the roommate wife syndrome. Most couples think they are immune on their wedding day. But a decade or two later, the symptoms emerge. Loss of sexual chemistry… ghosts in passing.. the household is running, but your wife feels like a friend, not a lover. This article helps you understand male and female sexuality so you can bring the spark back.

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    Roommate Wife: How To Change (For Men’s Eyes Only)

    How Men Sexually Desire Women

    Roommates don’t have sex.

    That’s the biggest symptom of roommate wife syndrome. 

    You are best friends 

    You get along great.

    But sexual intimacy is what separates lovers from roommates.

    Men and women are opposites in how they mentally process data

    The same is true when it comes to sexual attraction

    Men love when women are:

    • Fun
    • Exuberant
    • Full of life 
    • Sparkly
    • Sweet
    • Soft
    • Receptive
    • Motherly towards cute things 

    Those attributes add warmth and connection to your relationship with her.

    It’s her inner beauty, and it amplifies her outward beauty. 

    But what makes you feel sexual attraction for her? 

    The answer is simple: She’s pretty. 

    All that makes nature beautiful flows through her body.

    It’s her curves, her hair, her scent, her soft skin, and it’s dam cute.

    Your sexual attraction is based on how her body warms your heart.

    But when roommate wife syndrome sets in, her body looks tired.

    She doesn’t glow.

    The light goes out from her eyes.

    How Women Sexually Desire Men

    Occasionally, I’ll ask women which movie character they find HOT or ATTRACTIVE.

    The results always intrigue me. 

    90% of the time, it’s not the big muscular handsome-looking guy.

    You know who gets her sex drive going?

    It’s the renegade, the one who doesn’t give a shit, the one who could be dangerous if he let himself.

    He has some mystery to him, evident by his scars.

    But he’s strong enough to provide safety.

    He keeps his dangerous side in check.

    Notice this has nothing to do with his looks!

    The rare 10% who find the big muscular guy attractive choose the muscular guy who has mystery, courage, and self-control. 

    A woman will call a random guy “creepy” or “inappropriate” if he touches her.

    But she daydreams about a different man ripping her clothes off. 

    Why does she want it from one man, but not the other? 

    The answer is mind-numbingly simple: For the one man, she feels a sexual attraction. 

    Thank goodness women have a 1-100 point system for attraction.

    1 is a total creep. 

    100 is her knight in shining armor. 

    Muscles might gain you 5 points. 

    A handsome face? maybe 10.

    Most of your attractive points come from your ENERGY towards life.

    When your wife has roommate wife syndrome, your ENERGY is what changes everything.

    And right now, familiarity is all she’s feeling.

    Why Routines Create Roommate Wife Syndrome

    The opposite of energy is a flat line.

    Like a heartbeat monitor when you have no pulse.

    When you get into predictable routines with your wife, the spark dies, roommate wife syndrome kicks in, and intimacy dries up.

    But what has really dried up is YOUR passion for life.

    When was the last time you did something fun for yourself?

    When was the last time you jumped on a plane and explored a place you’ve always wanted to see?

    You’ve been orbiting your life around your wife and family for so long, you’ve lost touch with what makes you interesting and full of life.

    You’ve had your nose to the grindstone as a provider for so long that you think that is your life.

    Boring!

    No wonder roommate wife syndrome crept in, you have zombie husband syndrome.

    Feminine is a mirror.

    She’s showing you what it’s like to hang out with you.

    What I know is you don’t even like hanging out with yourself right now.

    It’s time to stop waiting for permission and start breaking some routines.

    Reach out to an old buddy and go on an adventure.

    Get that spark back in your eye.

    Stop trying to smooth everything over, afraid to ruffle your wife’s feathers.

    Be playful.

    Tease her.

    Don’t react to her drama; be amused by it.

    Then, watch your wife get the spark back!

    How To Cure Roommate Wife Syndrome For Good

    Here’s what WON’T cure roommate wife syndrome:

    • Big muscles
    • Combining your hair just right
    • Beating up bad guys
    • Working 80-hour weeks so she can have a good life 

    A woman’s sexuality lives in her body, not her head.

    That means trying to convince her to change might change her brain, but it doesn’t get her juices going.

    She has to FEEL a change.

    There is no such thing as being a good enough husband that she wants to have passionate sex with you.

    Her body is pulled toward your masculine energy when you’re vibrant, present, and unfazed by her shifting moods.

    If you break the connection with her heart while being playful, it only turns her off.

    A woman feels safe when she can open herself up to you without fearing rejection, defensiveness, resentment, or pissiness.

    That safety is very different from the familiarity and complacency that creates roommate wife syndrome.

    It’s about her feeling comfortable opening up, knowing you won’t try to fix her or make her feel crazy.

    For your wife to sexually desire you, she needs to feel your resilience to her chaos.

    She needs to feel your deep grounding in who you are and what you’re creating in life. 

    A hot woman will have scads of guys drooling after her.

    She could have any one of them she chooses. 

    A man, on the other hand, has to BE something before she will notice him as a sexual partner.  

    Who are you BEING? 

    Being her roommate or lover is your choice, not hers. 

    She is simply responding to what you’re choosing in life. 

    If you think getting this stuff sorted on your own is a good idea, I have news for you – that’s a LONG, windy road. 

    You don’t have to waste any more time trying to figure this stuff out alone.

    I’ll help you stop playing small, stop waiting for others to change, and start making bold decisions that bring the spark back.