Tag: Navigating Marital Challenges

  • If I Give Her Space, Won’t We Drift Apart?

    If I Give Her Space, Won’t We Drift Apart?

    If your wife asks you to give her space, it didn’t come out of nowhere. By the time she gets to this point, she’s already been emotionally detaching for months, maybe even years. And most men don’t realize it until it’s too late.

    Today, we’re going deeper into the three stages of detachment a woman goes through before she ends a relationship.

    If you don’t catch it early, you’ll find yourself blindsided when she finally says, “I need space.”

    I’m not talking about the kind of “space” where she’s just tired tonight; I’m talking about when she’s considering divorce.

    YouTube player

    1. Emotional Detachment

    This is the first and most subtle stage leading up to your wife needing space

    It’s also the easiest to miss.

    Emotional detachment begins when she stops feeling seen, heard, or valued in the relationship.

    Her emotional needs aren’t being met, and over time, her heart starts to close off.

    This doesn’t happen overnight.

    She used to share her thoughts, feelings, and worries with you.

    But now? She keeps them to herself.

    Bringing up the little things no longer happens because she’s already convinced herself you won’t understand.

    At this stage, you might notice:

    • She’s less engaged in conversations.
    • She stops initiating affection or spending quality time.
    • She’s quick to get irritated over small things.
    • She begins focusing more on her friends, work, hobbies, or anything but you.

    2. Spiritual Detachment

    Once she emotionally detaches, she starts seeing a future without you.

    This is when she stops believing in “us.”

    Women stay in relationships when they feel a deep sense of trust and emotional safety.

    Not just physically, but spiritually.

    When that’s gone, she starts to imagine what life would be like without you.

    She stops picturing you in her future and instead, envisions her life alone or with someone who actually listens when she talks about her day.

    Signs of spiritual detachment include:

    • She stops making long-term plans with you.
    • She avoids deep conversations about the future.
    • She doesn’t care to argue anymore (because she’s already mentally checking out).
    • She’s indifferent to your efforts to “fix” things.

    3. Physical Detachment

    By the time she physically detaches, she’s already gone in her mind.

    Her body follows what her heart has been feeling for months or years.

    This is when she stops wanting to be touched, avoids intimacy, moves into another room, or moves out of the house entirely.

    At this stage, if you try to force closeness, it only reinforces her belief that you don’t understand her.

    She sees it as pressure, not love;

    Kind of like when a salesman follows you around a store even after you’ve said, “I’m just looking.”

    What physical detachment looks like:

    • She stops wanting to be intimate or withdraws from sex.
    • She recoils from physical touch.
    • She prefers to be alone rather than spend time together.
    • She starts sleeping separately (or expresses a desire to move out).

    Don’t Fear Drifting Apart, Give Her Space

    Most men react to their wife’s withdrawal by chasing her harder.

    They try to fix things, talk it out, or prove their love through desperate gestures.

    But that only makes things worse.

    Instead of chasing, you need to shift your focus inward.

    • Detach from needing her validation. If your happiness depends on her affection, she will feel pressured and suffocated.
    • Rebuild your sense of self. Who are you without the marriage? What makes you excited about life outside of her?
    • Respect the space she needs. Giving her space isn’t about losing her, it’s about creating an opportunity for her to miss you.

    Give Her Space By Removing Pressure

    If your wife is asking for space, it’s because she feels overwhelmed by pressure.

    The pressure can be from the relationship or life in general.

    Your job isn’t to fix it right now.

    Your job is to become the kind of man who is steady, secure, and capable of standing strong, so you don’t add to the pressure.

    I can show you how.

  • Why Are Some Men So Good With Women?

    Why Are Some Men So Good With Women?

    YouTube player

    Seduction. Desire. Play.

    We love to be swept off our feet by a lover.

    There’s nothing like a woman so stunning she stops you in your tracks.

    And sure, we all know true beauty is on the inside, but let’s not pretend we don’t appreciate it when it’s on the outside too.

    Feminine women feel the same pull.

    Only for them, it’s not about looks.

    They notice:

    • Emotional presence
    • Self-confidence
    • Momentum/Leadership

    That’s what draws her in.

    That’s what keeps her interested.

    If your Relationship is struggling, it’s time to take a hard look in the mirror.

    The Hard Truth About Attraction in a Strained Relationship

    It’s easy to let yourself go once you’re married.

    You settle into routines, get comfortable and assume she’ll always be there.

    And then one day… she isn’t.

    Now, let’s be clear, getting a fresh haircut or dropping 20 pounds won’t save your marriage.

    But let’s use some common sense!

    If you care about your house, you paint it and fix the roof when it leaks.

    Your body, your presence, your energy? Same thing.

    Neglect yourself, and you send a message that you’re not serious about LIVING.

    If you’re not serious about living, why should she be excited to live it with you?

    This is where most men go wrong.

    They wonder, Why are some men so good with women? (and assume it’s about tricks, gimmicks, or even luck).

    But the truth is much simpler.

    It’s about presence.

    It’s about energy.

    It’s about being a man who lives with purpose rather than looking to others to give him those things.

    The Inside & Outside Game of Seduction

    In the pickup world, they call haircuts, jawlines, and money “Outside Game.”

    It’s what turns heads.

    It can attract women fast, but like a beautiful storefront with nothing inside, if there’s no substance, she’ll walk right out the back door.

    That’s where “Inside Game” comes in.

    “Inside Game” is about who you are when it counts:

    • How you hold yourself when things get tense
    • Your tone when she pushes back
    • The way you look at her when she’s in her own storm

    That’s when she feels who you really are.

    If what she feels isn’t grounded, strong, and certain, she pulls away.

    It’s why some men seem to have natural success with women while others struggle.

    They embody strength and certainty.

    Not to seduce, but as a way of being true to themselves.

    Your Wife Wants to Be Seduced…Even Now!

    Yes, even now.

    She wants to be romanced.

    She wants to be wooed.

    She wants to FEEL something.

    Let’s be honest.

    The daily grind?

    It’s the exact opposite of seduction.

    Even one of the best pickup artists of all time, stage-named “Mystery,” said married women were his easiest targets.

    Why?

    Because they were starving for attention, excitement, and connection.

    Can you blame them?

    We’re all racing toward the grave.

    How many truly great memories are you going to make before you get there?

    Women seem to be most aware of this.

    She won’t waste her time on a sinking ship.

    Still wondering why some men are so good with women?

    Here’s the simplest answer: They live their PURPOSE from the INSIDE-OUT.

    How You Can Become A Purpose-Filled Man

    I know a man is living from the OUTSIDE-In when he:

    • Complains
    • Blames others
    • Seeks validation

    When your purpose and mission are clear, you should walk, talk, and behave like a man who loves every damn minute of it.

    That’s all any woman truly dreams of feeling from her man.

    If you’re ready to do what it takes to bring that energy back, let’s talk.

  • Failing Marriage? 2 Mistakes Successful Men in Their 40s Make

    Failing Marriage? 2 Mistakes Successful Men in Their 40s Make

    Are you a man who is highly successful everywhere in life yet finds yourself in a failing marriage? I will show you a clear path to achieving the same success in your marriage that you’ve mastered in other areas of your life.

    Why Are Most Men Blindsided By Their Failing Marriage?

    By your 40s, the sheer amount of effort you’ve poured into your business or career starts to show.

    The early days of marriage when pennies were pinched have faded and basic life expenses are no longer a stress.

    You hoped that years of hard work and sacrifice would pay off, allowing you to enjoy a fulfilling life with your wife for the long term

    But now that you stand at the best point in life to begin this epic chapter, why doesn’t she doesn’t seem interested or engaged?

    All too common, your years of labor have taken a toll on the marriage, and a distance has grown with her.

    It can feel like she has a separate life, one filled with routines and friends you know nothing about.

    The story below tells how a man named David found himself in this exact situation and what he did to turn it around.

    David’s Success At Work Didn’t Equal Success At Home

    David stood in his office, staring out the window.

    His mind was usually absorbed in work.

    Today, however, it was consumed with thoughts of Chelsie, his wife of 18 years.

    At work, everything was clear.

    He set high standards, monitored performance, and got results.

    But at home, his system was failing.

    Chelsie’s cold shoulder had started months ago.

    At first, David ignored it, thinking it would pass.

    But she stayed distant.

    She avoided his touch, brushed off his attempts to connect, and barely talked about her day.

    Frustrated, David had told her many times, “This is unacceptable! I need love and affection in this marriage! What is your problem?”

    Each time, it only made things worse.

    “I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need,” Chelsie snapped one evening.

    Her words stuck with him.

    Why couldn’t she just tell him what was wrong so they could fix their failing marriage?

    He managed dozens of people at work, each with their own needs, and got them to perform.

    Why couldn’t Chelsie do the same?

    David sighed and turned away from the window.

    Deep down, he knew the answer.

    Chelsie wasn’t one of his employees.

    She was his wife, his source of love. The one person he knew could shake his confidence.

    Women Struggle To Feel Affection For A Man Who Fears Her

    At work, David felt in control.

    He could fire underperformers or change strategies without hesitation.

    But at home, Chelsie’s rejection cut deep.

    Her coldness made him feel small, like he wasn’t enough.

    That fear paralyzed him.

    David had spent months focusing on what he didn’t like in their marriage.

    He pointed out her flaws and told her she was wrong for shutting him out.

    But he never thought about what she needed.

    His critical thinking was his strength at work, but it was failing him at home.

    The truth was, Chelsie didn’t want a manager.

    She wanted a lover.

    She wanted the playful, relaxed man she had married.

    The David who made her laugh, wasn’t afraid of her moods, and didn’t treat their relationship like a quarterly project.

    That version of David had been buried under his drive for success.

    He was so focused on work that he lost touch with the fun, loving side of himself who could enjoy the moment.

    Deep down, there were many things Chelsie wanted to share with David, but she knew her true feelings would be met by his frustration or need to fix them.

    David feared her feelings, and he feared losing intimacy… a power Chelise didn’t want to have over him.

    Like darkness slowly enveloping her, Chelsie’s affectionate feelings for David diminished as he continued to hold her responsible for his frustration.

    2 Hidden Mistakes Successful Men Make At Home

    Whenever I’ve coached highly successful men, I’ve noticed two common mistakes.

    The first mistake is that we think our wife’s cold reactions are unfair to what we’ve provided.

    We look at our list of amazing things we’ve done, analyze her current reaction, and then think, “This doesn’t add up!! I’m doing my part, why aren’t you doing yours?”

    If we can leave our calculator brain at the office for a moment, we can start to see how our wife’s reactions are EXACTLY what they are supposed to be.

    Imagine how different you would respond if you really believed that her feelings were exactly what she was supposed to feel and she was reacting to them the best she could.

    The 2nd mistake I see highly successful men make is that we think our money, house, wife, and frequency of sex are confirmation of our success in life.

    I fell into this category hard in my marriage.

    The moment my cash flow, household, or love life changed, I was a frazzled wreck.

    I expected my wife to “mommy” my frustration so I could feel strong enough to take on the world.

    “Mommy” looked like her making a warm meal, washing my socks, and listening to me talk on and on about my problems.

    If we want an intimate, sexual relationship with a woman, we cannot make her our mommy.

    When a man internalizes his sense of confidence and well-being, he won’t react to his wife as David did, which drove love and affection right out of his relationship.

    He won’t need a mommy to make him feel better.

    How Did David Save His Failing Marriage?

    That evening, David sat in the living room.

    For the first time in months, he ignored his work emails.

    He thought about Chelsie’s words: “I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need.”

    Those words hurt, but they also challenged him.

    Could he see past his frustration and fear?

    Could he show her, not tell her, that he cared?

    David knew it wouldn’t be easy.

    He’d have to face his fear of rejection and let go of control.

    But if he approached her with empathy instead of criticism, maybe he could break through.

    Maybe he could melt the icy wall between them.

    He closed his eyes and pictured Chelsie’s smile.

    He remembered the way her eyes lit up when he walked into the room.

    That’s what he wanted to see again.

    For the first time in months, he decided to stop pointing out what she did wrong.

    Instead, he would SHOW her what he wanted their love to be like.

    His first step was to not react, but listen when she made small bids for conversation.

    Within a few weeks, they were back to laughing and enjoying each other’s company!

    How did David turn around his failing marriage?

    Ask him and he’ll say –“I internalized my self-confidence & stopped fearing the reactions of the woman I love”.

    How To Become The Confidant Man Your Wife Needs

    Over the last three weeks, four of my 1:1 clients have told me, “Holy cow, my marriage has done a full 180!”

    These are highly successful men who have learned how to not settle for the status quo while also not being a controlling jerk.

    I can teach you how to be a man with a solid spine and a soft heart.

  • How To Never Be Rejected For Sex Again

    How To Never Be Rejected For Sex Again

    Many men are rejected for sex without realizing how they are preventing the intimacy they crave. Dive into this article or watch the video below to discover why women are drawn to men who can face rejection with confidence.

    YouTube player

    Men Who Act Frustrated When Rejected For Sex Experience A Snowball Effect of Rejection

    Rejection by your wife can be frustrating.

    This frustration can push her further away, creating a never-ending cycle of more rejection.

    When our sexual energy is pent-up, it can feel like a problem that needs an immediate solution.

    Being wildly horny in itself isn’t the problem.

    How we act when we feel urgent is what turns your wife off.   

    Although an orgasm seems like an obvious solution, anytime you act desperate, needy, demanding, or mopey, you are putting negative pressure on your wife.

    Negative pressure is a HUGE libido killer for women.

    Sexually frustrated men tend to use their own level of desire to determine if they should initiate intimacy.

    This also leads to more rejection.

    Our wife can sense if we are trying to make love because WE can’t handle our own instincts, or if we are initiating because SHE is ripe for engaging it.

    Acting on our feelings with no awareness of her emotional state is a guaranteed path to rejection.

    She Wants Intimacy With A Man Who Holds His Agency

    I used to believe that my feelings were my wife’s job to take care of.

    If I was hungry, she should feed me.

    If I was horny, she should make love to me.

    This mindset made me feel like a victim of her moods and dependent on her for my happiness.

    Making others responsible for how we feel is a path to codependency, victimhood, and a sense of neediness.

    A man who takes responsibility for his own feelings talks differently.

    He won’t say, “You’re making me angry,” he will say, “I feel my anger”.

    A man who plays the victim will say things like, “That person is making me feel disrespected”.

    A man who owns his agency will say, “My thoughts about that person are making me feel disrespected”.

    Men who hold their agency are attractive to women.

    Your wife wants to feel that you can hold your emotions AND her emotions without losing your agency.

    How To Stop Getting Rejected For Sex

    Imagine there is a green light and a red light on every woman’s forehead.

    If you try to initiate physical intimacy with your wife when the light is red, it will push her away.

    My advice?

    ONLY INITIATE WHEN HER LIGHT IS GREEN.

    Nearly every guy I coach who is frustrated in the bedroom is initiating when she’s giving clear signals to stop.

    We can’t turn her red light green by getting all cuddly and affectionate with her.

    A woman’s desire for intimacy comes in seasons, and she can’t just flip a switch to turn it on.

    There’s no use in getting upset with her season, just like there’s no use in getting upset if it’s summer or winter.

    There is an irony to this.

    When we are happy, inspired, successful, and fun without her giving us sex, the sooner her season changes.

    If you struggle to know when her light is green, read my article 6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom“.

    How To Stop Acting Like A Sexually Frustrated Man

    Women are not attracted to horny, sexually frustrated men.

    But they are attracted to sexy men!

    So what’s the difference?

    Horny, sexually frustrated men can’t handle discomfort.

    Sexy men face discomfort.

    Horny, sexually frustrated men act impulsively.

    Sexy men act deliberately.

    Many horny, sexually frustrated men think they need sex 3 or 5 times a day.

    Here’s the truth.

    When you have BETTER sex, you’ll crave sex less.

    Better sex is enthusiastic, wild, connected, and erotic.

    Before we can have better sex, we first need to build emotional intimacy with our partner.  

    Not taking things personally and tuning into her emotions to validate them is how she feels emotional intimacy.  

    In my coaching, I teach you how to THINK to feel empowered by things that used to drive you crazy.

    Don’t believe this helps?

    Right now, imagine biting into a freshly cut lemon… Imagine your teeth squeezing the tart juice out as it drips down your lips… Did your mouth start to water?

    Your mouth is watering because of the THOUGHT you just fed in your mind.

    Sexually frustrated men need to feed new thoughts!

    I’ll show you how.

  • How To Make Your Wife Love You Again

    How To Make Your Wife Love You Again

    Trying to make your wife love you again is like trying to control the weather. You can DO all the right things. SAY all the right stuff. In the end, her feelings are what they are. So what is in your control? Even though you can’t control her feelings, you can control whether you are the kind of man women are attracted to.

    What Women Need To Feel In Love 

    A few days ago, Google directed a man to my blog because he had a heartfelt question.

    His question was, “Can you make your wife love you again?

    No doubt his story is much like yours or mine.

    He remembers when his wife used to respond affectionately to his touch.

    She would smile when he entered the room.

    Her love motivated him to work hard at his job and remain committed to the relationship.

    But over the years, something changed.

    Now, a small peck on her cheek annoys her.

    Placing his hand on her leg makes her tense up.

    He’s met with excuses when he tries to initiate sex with her.

    He hoped this was just a phase, but over the months, it has only gotten worse.

    Today, he’s wondering if she will ever love him enough to engage in the intimate, respectful, nurturing relationship he craves to have with her.

    You see, even if you DO all the right things in your relationship, if you make your wife feel disconnected, pressured, or criticized, you can kiss intimacy goodbye.

    Without a consistent experience of emotional safety and connection with you, she won’t feel safe enough to expose her intimate side.

    Building Connection, Trust, & Emotional Safety With Your Wife

    We men tend to focus on what needs to change about our wives for the relationship to work.

    Who she is helps us decide if the relationship is worth our effort or not.

    But we don’t realize that a lot of how she is comes as a reaction to what it’s like to be around us.

    If we defend, explain, or try to use logic to fix her emotions whenever she shares something with us, it communicates that we are insecure in ourselves.

    It also communicates that we can’t see past our own discomfort to connect with her feelings.  

    This makes us feel boyish and like a powerless victim to her.

    It should go without saying that being a victim or acting boyish isn’t the path to building a better connection with your wife. 

    Criticizing her moods, arguing, walking on eggshells, or being resentful doesn’t help either. 

    If we take a closer look at ourselves, we might find even deeper issues.

    Issues such as…

    • Feeling like a failure
    • Aversion to conflict
    • A knee-jerk response to people-please
    • Doing things with hidden expectations

    These deeper personal issues are what you need to resolve to have a meaningful emotional connection with your wife. 

    This connection is critical in a long-term relationship.

    Without it, she won’t be able to trust herself to be soft and affectionate around you.   

    What’s 100% In Your Control Right Now?

    There are 3 zones in life… 

    1. What’s out of our control
    2. What’s under our influence
    3. What’s in our control

    Happiness, confidence, clear boundaries, and mojo only come from staying focused on things 100% in your control.

    Your wife’s feelings are under your influence, not under your control.

    Whenever I speak to a man who is frustrated, lonely, upset, rejected, or in panic mode, it’s because he’s been focusing on things that are either out of his control or only under his influence.

    When I’m coaching a man who doesn’t know what to do next in his relationship (limbo) it’s usually because he hasn’t forged an internal masculine frame that is 100% in his control.

    Our masculine frame is our blueprint to follow!

    Although this sounds like simple advice, many of us didn’t know HOW to build a masculine frame that is 100% in our control before our marriage called for it.

    A Call To Confidence

    If you have a blueprint or a compass to follow, you will always know how to respond to things like being rejected for sex, marriage limbo, or the uncertainty of her feelings.

    Hint: Her feelings are not your compass.

    Last year, a man we’ll call John, joined one of my group courses where I teach my masculine confidence framework.

    John was down in the dumps.

    He and his wife hadn’t had sex in many months.

    His wife was unsure if she could continue in their marriage of 25+ years.

    6 weeks into the course, everything changed for John!

    He learned how to have his own compass to follow even when his wife was withdrawn or emotional.

    He learned how to give her emotional space without walking on eggshells around her.

    The result?

    Her passion for him returned!

    To this day, they are both loving a brand new version of their marriage!

    In my coaching, I train you to forge an internal locus of control. 

    This means you learn how to respond from the inside out instead of the outside in. 

    Being this kind of non-reactive man who can be comfortable in his own skin is the only version of yourself your wife can fall back in love with.

    Would you like help identifying the underlying issues that are keeping your marriage stuck?

  • How To Be Irresistible To Your Wife

    How To Be Irresistible To Your Wife

    This article reveals how to be irresistible to your wife by building erotic desire through seduction.

    Seduction is not about picking up strange women.

    Seduction is about the art of creating and maintaining feelings of positive emotional tension, including sexual tension.

    Perhaps you have a fairytale version of love in your mind.

    In this fairytale, your wife or girlfriend is magically affectionate, intimate, and sexual with you for 60 years… All because you’re such an easy-going, great guy!

    This rarely happens.

    Like it or not, seduction is a game.

    Playing the game is NOT about being a slimy manipulator who tricks women into liking him.

    Games are about having FUN.

    If you’ve ever had sex, you are already a player in the game of seduction.

    The OUTSIDE Game Of Seduction

    Pickup artists use OUTSIDE game to meet and have sex with new women effectively.

    Fancy clothes, nice cologne, a fancy watch… those are all OUTSIDE things.

    These men know how to catch a woman’s eye.

    The female mind loves the tease, temptation, emotions, and illusion of freedom that OUTSIDE game provides.

    However, if you do not have INSIDE game, new women you seduce with OUTSIDE game will eventually break up with you.

    As they get to know you, they realize it was all smoke and mirrors because everything was just an act to get into her pants.

    The INSIDE Game Of Seduction

    INSIDE game is all about the vibe your behaviors give off under pressure.

    Your inner maturity, confidence, self-esteem, vulnerability, and masculine frame are part of your INSIDE game.

    Without a rock-solid INSIDE game, your wife won’t feel safe opening her heart to you.

    Your relationship is on borrowed time when she feels like she can’t open her heart around you.

    It makes her feel like the relationship has no depth.

    Many younger women become infatuated with “bad boys.”

    They assume if his OUTSIDE game feels confident, then his INSIDE game must be very secure, strong, and competent.

    Sadly, most women who marry “bad boys” realize down the road that his INSIDE game is that of insecurity, self-doubt, and a need for validation.

    Many women who have been burned by a “bad boy” will latch on to a “nice guy” next.

    They assume the “nice guy” will have what the “bad boy” lacks.

    Sadly, most women who marry “nice guys” lose sexual attraction for him.

    His softness, wishy-washiness, aversion to conflict, and lack of boundaries feel boyish and feminine to her.

    Women crave to ravish a man, not a boy.

    Mastering Seduction To Be Irresistible To Your Wife

    To be irresistible to your wife, she needs to be seduced again and again.

    She needs to bounce between your INSIDE game and your OUTSIDE game weekly for the rest of your life.

    On the days she’s drawn to your INSIDE game, she loves how her mood can’t rattle you.

    Her complaints are met with your empathy.

    When she brings up the past, you show understanding without getting defensive.

    You like who you are being.

    You trust your intentions, and she can sense your secure vibe.

    On days she’s drawn to your OUTSIDE game, she’s loving that you’re sexting her during the day.

    You’re giving her a wink and a squeeze on the shoulder, or buying her favorite coffee.

    In other words, you are living your best life, and she’s feeling the invitation to join.

    I used to suck at both INSIDE and OUTSIDE game badly.

    I’ve made it my mission to learn and teach men both by mastering seduction in my own life.

    In my Masculine Confidence Framework, I get raw and personal with you on how to be a masculine man in a 1:1 setting.

    You already have the traits for INSIDE & OUTSIDE game hard-coded into your DNA.

    You were born a man women can’t get enough of.

    But along the way, you may have adopted some faulty beliefs about masculine and feminine that need to be rewritten.

    I will help you spot the mindsets that make you feel indecisive, unclear, wishy-washy, and unattractive towards women.

    This way, you can be naturally good at the game of seduction.

    My Masculine Confidence Framework Can Make You Irresistible To Your Wife

    I pack a lot of the most potent things I’ve learned into my masculine confidence framework.

    Below are 4 ways to tell if my framework will help you.

    Are you a man who can…

    1. Be willing to take constructive feedback
    2. Be willing to laugh at your past mistakes
    3. Be willing to follow through on reading and homework assignments
    4. Be willing to turn down her offers for sex

    That last one might sound strange, but you’ll find out why if we work together.

    I’m willing to take you by the hand and lead you each step of the way.

    This kind of mentorship will save you YEARS of trial and error!

  • 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity Your Wife Secretly Craves

    53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity Your Wife Secretly Craves

    This article provides 53 traits of mature masculinity. The video below uses some movie scenes as examples. Being more masculine isn’t something you have to force. Masculinity is natural when you stop trying to make yourself different or better than other men and embrace the polar opposite of femininity.

    YouTube player
    53 Traits Of A Masculine Man

    The other day, a man reached out to me after watching one of my videos.

    He thought it was pathetic that I teach men how to be masculine, but don’t include things in my videos like cars, golf, or sports.

    There’s something this man hasn’t learned yet

    Although many masculine men do things like sports, fishing, or golf, doing those things won’t make you masculine. 

    Women have a unique gift called a 6th sense.

    This means she can smell your intentions a mile away, even if you’re wearing a Packers jersey in a lifted 4×4 blasting through a mud hole.

    She can smell if you need her validation, if you’re jealous, insecure, or desperate.

    Deep down, your wife wants a man.

    Not a needy boy.

    Not a conflict adverse people pleaser… A MAN. 

    You’re Wife Knows If You’re Trying To Over Compensate

    Your woody can be the size of a baseball bat, and you can still have “small dick” energy.

    That’s because your wife doesn’t look at your body to know if you’re masculine; she looks at your emotional world.  

    These 11 behaviors instantly tell your wife you’re not a secure, masculine man.

    1. Being easily triggered, then acting on that trigger
    2. Always need to be right
    3. Holding other people accountable for your happiness
    4. Raising your voice and trying to defend yourself when questioned
    5. Always having an excuse for why you’re innocent
    6. Blaming other people for your misery/lack of success
    7. Having to put others in their place to feel a sense of status or power
    8. Taking other people’s actions as a personal threat
    9. Getting jealous or taking it personally when your wife finds other guys attractive (or men find her attractive)
    10. Resorting to physical force to “make” people respect you
    11. Seeking revenge and going tit for tat when others “do us wrong”

    These behaviours tell your wife that deep down there’s a lack of self-trust, inner security, and self-esteem.

    She can sense that your feelings control you.

    Being controlled by feelings is feminine.

    For her to feel romantic and sexual attraction for you, you need to have a mature relationship with feelings.

    How Mature Masculinity Handles Feelings

    Maybe your dad used to blow up.

    He’d yell at your mom.

    Hit the kids.

    Throw and break stuff.

    Part of you decided long ago, “I’ll never be like him”.

    So you stomach your anger.

    You play it nice.

    Never rock boats.

    But guess what?

    You’ve become your father.

    Even though you’re not breaking things around the house, you’re breaking your own feelings.

    You see masculinity as toxic and try to dissociate yourself from other men.

    You thought a girl would LOVE to be with a man who wasn’t like “those other ass holes”.

    Now you’re sex life sucks, and you’re chasing your wife for affection.

    She’s not wired to feel attraction to the version of masculinity you’ve conjured up.

    You don’t need to start yelling like your dad, but you do need to stop avoiding feelings.

    The difference your dad never learned is that you are not going to use your feelings as instructions.

    Your values are the only thing you look to when deciding how you will behave.

    That’s what mature masculinity looks like.

    You can have feelings and just be with them without trying to avoid, dismiss, or stuff them down.

    Until you can do this with yourself, you won’t be able to do this with your wife’s feelings.

    Your wife craves a man who can be with her feelings and not try to fix or change them.

    The 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity 

    1. Clear
    2. Calm
    3. Direct
    4. Non-reactive
    5. Capable of danger, but controls it
    6. Steady
    7. Responds, but on his own time
    8. Plays the long game
    9. Is self-reliant
    10. Can’t be emotionally swayed by others
    11. Powerful
    12. Stable
    13. Discerning
    14. Confident
    15. Visionary
    16. Wise
    17. Purposeful
    18. Driven
    19. Physical
    20. Courageous
    21. Honorable
    22. Decisive
    23. Protective
    24. Assertive
    25. Focused
    26. Consistent
    27. Embraces Death
    28. Knowledgeable
    29. World-Wise
    30. Mysterious
    31. Intellectual
    32. Truth Seeking
    33. Mystic
    34. Insightful
    35. Detached from others’ reactions
    36. Engineering
    37. Sees probable outcomes
    38. Vivid life force
    39. Sensitive to the outside environment
    40. Embodies pleasure without shame
    41. Sensual
    42. Compassionate
    43. Empathetic
    44. Creates connection
    45. Reads people
    46. Feel’s other’s pain
    47. Sees potential
    48. Lives from the heart
    49. Is present
    50. Trusts intention over outcome
    51. Creates, invents, and innovates what he wants
    52. Is on a mission
    53. Isn’t urgent

    Why Mature Masculinity Can Save Your Marriage

    Marriages are not saved by jumping through hoops until she likes you again.

    Every romantic relationship (regardless of gender) requires one person who is in the masculine spectrum and one who is in the feminine spectrum. 

    Your wife is incapable of feeling soft, affectionate, nurturing, receptive, submissive, or sexually turned on unless you are behaving as a mature, masculine man.

    Once you are that man, relax and let the law of attraction do all the work.

    How You Can Gain The 53 Traits Of Mature Masculinity

    My YouTube critic was correct.

    Fast cars and golf won’t be on our agenda as we develop your masculinity.

    When I teach you my masculine confidence framework, I help you cut the blue wire to your triggers and insecurities.

    I ask you questions so you can see the core beliefs that make you a slave to your emotions.

    I help you create a frame built from values that you would take a bullet for.

  • 5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love In Marriage

    5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love In Marriage

    If you want a long-term relationship, you need to understand the crucial stages to lasting love. I usually show men a few slides when they reach out for a consultation. They help you understand the stages every marriage goes through. I put the slides in this article so you can see what I mean! I go even more in-depth in the video below.

    YouTube player
    5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love In Marriage

    Many men want a better marriage, but they feel alone and uncertain about what to do.

    It seems like every conversation and promise to improve only digs them into a deeper hole.

    But talk with other men and you’ll quickly realize we’re all in the same boat, experiencing similar relationship dynamics. 

    I want to give full credit to Dr. Jed Diamond for introducing me to the 5 crucial stages to lasting love. 

    Based on my marriage and the many men I’ve helped, I’ve adjusted these stages to what I’ve seen most guys (and myself) experience. 

    I’ve also added more information about what women specifically experience when they’re questioning if they married the wrong man. 

    The 5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love

    Here are the 5 seasons I see every marriage go through:

    1. New Relationship Season
    2. Monogamous Season
    3. Bonded Partner Season
    4. Disillusionment Season
    5. Long-Term Love Season

    It’s important to recognize which season you’re in so you can make the right choices. 

    The 5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love

    Each of these seasons needs something different to add spark and love back into the relationship. 

    For example, giving your partner flowers in the monogamous season will warm her heart.

    But in the disillusionment season, flowers won’t do much for her.  

    This is why you can’t apply random Instagram dating advice to a marriage of 15 years.

    Another example is having a date night.

    Date nights in the monogamous season will make your wife feel close to you, even if all you do is show up to the date.

    By the bonded partner season, you’d better know how to lead an emotional connection with her on that date, or it won’t do much for your marriage.

    Her fears started the day you first met and will continue to evolve. 

    It’s in her nature.

    Fears like, “Where is this going?” and “Am I good enough?”

    Allison Armstrong compares women’s need for reassurance to that of a strainer… everything you pour in drains out. 

    • Did you love her yesterday? 
    • Did you connect with her yesterday?
    • Did you show leadership yesterday?


    In her world, all of that is gone today like water through a strainer. 

    Whatever you created with her TODAY is all she has to ride on.

    How The 5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love Unfold

    A new relationship season swamps your brain in dopamine.

    That’s the first of the 5 crucial stages to lasting love.

    This stage is easy!

    A simple touch or eye gaze feels electric and sensual. 

    However, women feel a lot more fear daily than men do. 

    When you start getting affectionate with a girl you like, she soon wants to know, “What are we?”. 

    Most guys settle her fear by assuring her he’s no longer pursuing other girls.

    Making her your girlfriend calms her relationship anxiety for a few years at most.

    Eventually, she brings up her next fear: “Are we going to tie the knot?”

    We men tend to keep resolving her fears as they come up. 

    After the proposal, we address where we’ll live, if we’ll have kids, if we’ll have chickens, etc. 

    Once we put a ring on her finger and settle all these fears, most men start coasting through life. 

    We behave as if we can’t lose her. 

    By this point, you’re having lots of sex.

    The release of oxytocin suppresses dopamine in your brain.

    The result?

    You feel like bonded family, not honeymoon lovers. 

    You tend to act more domesticated, abandoning the majority of your hobbies, friendships, and freedoms for her and the family.

    You’re at your lowest point of attractiveness during this stage. 

    Many women have a midlife crisis at this point, since life feels like it isn’t going anywhere. 

    Welcome to the disillusionment stage, where both the husband and wife question if they married the wrong person.

    Maybe that’s why you’re reading this now.

    Disillusionment is the 4th step in the 5 crucial stages to lasting love.

    You’re so close!

    But this is the stage where divorce happens 75% of the time if the man doesn’t understand it.

    Her 5 Stages Of Disillusionment

    Here are the 5 stages I see women go through once they enter the disillusionment stage:

    1. Self-Improvement Stage
    2. Checking Out Stage
    3. I’m Not In Love With You Stage
    4. I Need Space Stage
    5. I’m Done Stage
    Her 5 Stages Of Disillusionment

    If you catch the signs of her disillusionment early, you have a much higher chance of saving the marriage.

    But most of us totally missed the warning signs of the self-improvement stage

    • She started doing more work around the house
    • She tried initiating sex more
    • Maybe she started going to therapy or the gym

    It’s easy to think her self-improvement stage is just her finally getting her stuff figured out!

    What’s really happening is she’s giving the marriage one last shot.

    Her taking the lead in a relationship like this isn’t natural for her.

    As a result, she often experiences burnout.

    Once she burns out, she checks out. 

    The self-improvement stage is easy to miss since we think the marriage is improving by her making an effort 

    If you make no effort for your self-improvement during this time, your wife will enter the “checking out season”.

    You’ll get obligation sex from her in the “checking out season”.

    She’ll complain less, too.

    That’s because women only complain when they care about things.

    Her care is dropping.

    The ship starts to sink fast once she checks out because not long after, she’ll say the words, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you“. 

    If you continue to be the same guy you’ve always been in the relationship, divorce is on the horizon. 

    The path to divorce starts with her entering the “I need space” season. 

    You’ll know she’s in the “I need space season” when:

    • She doesn’t want you in the room when she changes
    • She’s making plans or traveling without you
    • She’s spending most weekends away from the house 
    • She’s sleeping separately or wanting her own place

    Once you’ve heard the words, “I’m done,” there is only a 4% chance the marriage can be turned around without divorce being involved.

    The time from the “self-improvement stage” to the “I’m done” stage is usually about 2 years. 

    I have met men where it took 10 years, but that isn’t the norm. 

    I also know several guys who were very confused by how passionate the sex was after she said, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”.

    What’s happening is she’s trying to find release for the intense emotions boiling in her. 

    This is why we can’t use sex as a gauge for marriage repair

    What most of us experience over this time is “the ice queen”.

    Her closed-off, icy moods are like a zombie version of who we knew our wife to be in years past.  

    How You Can Take Charge Of The 5 Crucial Stages To Lasting Love

    Building a life around shared values is the only way you can lead a relationship out of the disillusionment season and into the lasting love season.

    This does NOT mean you have long conversations about values to convince your wife to stay.

    The tone in your voice, how you handle your emotions, staying connected to your wellbeing…That is how she FEELS your values.  

    There is deeper work to do. 

    Many coaches are only helping men go from point A to point B. 

    I do transformational coaching so that you can self-coach, self-source confidence, and be self-assured that you are making the right choice 100% of the time. 

    I compare it to teaching someone how to shop for food vs how to grow their own food…Which guy do you think will confidently survive an apocalypse? 

    If you’re ready to step up and lead the 5 crucial stages to lasting love, reach out.

    I promise you’ll have a better sense of what to do after we talk. 

  • How To Get Your Wife Back With Honesty (3 Myths Busted)

    How To Get Your Wife Back With Honesty (3 Myths Busted)

    I totally understand why you want to get your wife back. You care about her. You love her. And you go to bed feeling gutted she isn’t in your arms anymore. This article debunks 3 online myths about “getting your ex back” with brutal honesty. Keep reading or watch the following video to gain clarity about what works and what’s all smoke and hot air.

    YouTube player
    How To Get Your Wife Back With Honesty (3 Myths Busted)

    Debunking Myths On How To Get Your Wife Back

    Let’s pull out the shotgun and eliminate a few misconceptions running feral on the internet.

    Myth 1: You can save your marriage even if your wife doesn’t want to. 

    I’ve been engaging with thousands of men in troubled relationships worldwide for years, and this is unheard of.

    Yes, you can do self-improvement even if she doesn’t want to.

    Sure, you can invite her to join a new standard of interacting in the relationship.

    What’s self-evident is that until SHE decides she wants the marriage to work, fighting for the marriage fails nearly every time.

    I explain this more in my article, Walkaway Wife, Why You Need To STOP Chasing Her.

    What really works is LETTING GO of the marriage and accepting that if she doesn’t want to be married to you, she is free to go.

    I’m not advocating that you should file for divorce, but I am saying you shouldn’t try to resist it.

    Let go of:

    • Needing her to give you certainty
    • Needing her to give you affection
    • Needing her to love you again
    • Needing her to stay for the kids
    • Needing her to see how much she stands to lose

    By letting go, she no longer feels burdened by your NEEDS.

    Needs stink.

    Needs push her away.

    Be ok and let go.

    Myth 2: Opening up more to your wife will bring you closer together.

    This is the kind of advice you’ll hear from women and wiki pages on how to improve relationships.

    Digging everything out from under the rug so you can identify your attachment styles and childhood traumas can be equally as unproductive.

    In the therapy world, it’s called “low-mood therapy” when you try to focus on everything “wrong” with the relationship.

    Despite many women claiming this would have closed the gulf between her and her husband in years past, only about 5% of women have done enough personal development to handle a man’s raw vulnerability.

    For the rest of us in relationships with the remaining 95% of women, we need to trust that having a support system outside the marriage is what works best.

    If you don’t believe me, click HERE to read an excerpt by researcher/author Brene Brown.

    Let your wife do more talking so SHE feels connected.

    Men open up through affection and intimacy, not by talking about the past.

    Your wife is the opposite.

    She needs to get everything off her chest, or she won’t feel affectionate enough to give you the intimacy you need to feel close and bonded with her.

    What she shares doesn’t need to be fixed, it only needs to be heard.

    If you react, get triggered, or defend, divorce is in your cards, brother.

    Myth 3: “No contact” makes her want you.

    I bring this one up all the time.

    Yes, when dating, “absence makes the heart grow fonder“.

    In a long-term relationship, your absence just feels like relief.

    If you want more info on this, read my article, “How To Give Your Wife Space Without Losing Her“, where I discuss what to do instead of “no contact”.

    In a nutshell, there are things like neediness, begging, and pleading that you can stop dumping on her.

    For guys who can’t shut off their insecurities, I do recommend the no-contact rule for HIS sake (not hers).

    How To Get Your Wife Back With Tried & True Practices

    The masculine confidence framework I teach men isn’t about becoming some badass with a sports car and tattoos. 

    I help you build a clear framework so you’ll never second-guess if you’re responding correctly.

    You’ll gain a purpose for your life that goes beyond your wife and kids.

    You can’t awaken your wife’s passion without this kind of clarity and life mission.

    This is a whole new version of yourself she will need to experience.

    Will it get your wife back?

    She will either be strongly attracted or strongly repelled by it.

    That polarizing force is the only way she can have feelings for you again once they’ve been lost.

    What I guarantee is the right woman will be drawn to it, and sometimes that person is your ex.  

    Are you ready to stop relying on YouTube duct tape to patch your relationship together?

  • Why Your Wife Holds Onto The Past…Exposed!

    Why Your Wife Holds Onto The Past…Exposed!

    What I’m about to say might seem unrelated to why your wife holds onto the past, but hang in there. We’re going to navigate the dicey topic of husband/wife roles in modern marriages. This will help you understand your wife better. Below is a video explaining more.

    YouTube player
    Why Your Wife Holds Onto The Past…Exposed!

    A Shift In Husband/Wife Roles

    I grew up in the typical 1950s family model.

    The husband was the breadwinner, and the wife ran the household. 

    Dad, grandpa, and great-grandpa never changed a diaper, washed a dish, or prepared a meal. 

    Neither my mom, grandma, nor great-grandma would be caught dead fixing the roof or changing the car’s oil.

    I assumed it was normal to have clear lines between what men do and what women do. 

    Then I married a strong, independent, career-driven woman.

    That was a real wake-up call. 

    It turns out that men can cook and women can change oil… 

    I had a masculine identity crisis.

    I struggled to know my value, place, and role as a husband.

    Many men are in this spot, feeling like their wives don’t need them. 

    Deep down, you start to question why you’re even in your wife’s life if she doesn’t need you.

    Even though society has blurred gender roles, I’m going to show you some roles that can’t be changed.

    This helps expose why your wife holds onto the past.

    She’s biologically designed to bring balance to who you are.

    Why Your Wife Holds Onto The Past Even If It Creates Friction

    Feminine energy and masculine energy are two polar opposites that can’t be eradicated from our planet. 

    The reason why your wife holds onto the past is because of her biological makeup.

    Most humans with ovaries are going to have feminine energy, and most humans with balls are going to have masculine energy. 

    A human with ovaries is designed to take in, germinate, hold, and absorb the energy around her like an oil spill kit. 

    In fact, she’s so well built for this, she can take in a man’s seed and germinate a new human from it.

    Feminine energy is a POWERFUL receiver, seducer, enticer, and fertile garden ready for “seeds”. 

    What you plant in your wife WILL germinate, multiply, and be handed back to you 10-fold.

    Holding onto the past is what she’s supposed to do. 

    Imagine being a sponge that adsorbs the vibe in the room everywhere you go…eventually, you would feel overwhelmed and need to vent. 

    Most of the time, when your wife brings up the past, she’s just trying to let some pressure out so she doesn’t burst. 

    I love marriage expert Mark Gungor’s humorous take on this in his viral video, The Tale Of Two Brains.

    You’re biologically designed to bring balance to feminine.

    That’s why you prefer to look forward when she looks backwards.

    Being The Masculine Role In Modern Marriages

    The days of mowing the lawn to prove you’re a valuable husband are over.

    The marker of a successful marriage is when the husband and wife value each other’s differences.

    This is how you make babies.

    This is how you build relationships.

    Penetration is the masculine role that does not change.

    Here’s what “penetration” looks like:

    • Stepping FORWARD when others hesitate
    • Making clear decisions
    • Taking the high road
    • Staying present during difficult emotions
    • Challenging the status quo
    • Breaking new ground in areas of finance, freedom, and relationships
    • Playing the long game
    • Having a specific life direction
    • Being polarizing
    • Planting seeds in receptive people (leadership)

    One of the gifts your “penetration” brings to your relationship is that you can create a safe space for her to let some pressure out.

    This is done when you close your mouth and penetrate your wife with your ears.

    Yup, it’s the gift of listening.

    Really listening, so she can let some pressure out.

    Many times, that pressure is going to be about stuff you thought was already resolved from the past. 

    In her world, the past is NEVER resolved.

    History lives to vividly in her emotional memory bank.

    When your wife holds onto the past, she’s not bringing things up for you to explain away or fix for her.

    She just wants to feel heard.

    Your ears can make her feel heard, your words cannot make her feel heard.

    What To Do When Your Wife Holds Onto the Past

    Being upset, arguing, defending, or holding a grudge when your wife holds onto the past is flaccid “penetration.”

    Feminine energy is a container for how you’ve impacted lives.

    It’s valuable feedback that teaches you something about yourself. 

    I’ll stick my neck out.

    I bet 80.7% of the time, the beef you have with your wife’s account of the past is that you feel she’s misunderstanding what your intentions were.

    You also don’t want to re-hash something that’s water under the bridge.  

    A man who trusts his intentions can “penetrate” her version of the past.

    When she brings up the past, a secure man doesn’t see it as an attack, he sees it as a cry for understanding, empathy, and connection.

    He sees her recount as an opportunity to LEAD her to the present moment, where the past no longer exists. 

    A man who trusts his intentions can also learn by her account how he can be different going forward.

    There is always a little truth that stings when she brings up the past.

    That truth can help you better align your actions to your intentions going forward.

    You might assume you’re planting a straight row of corn, but when it germinates, you can see the row isn’t straight.

    Feminine germinates what you plant, letting you see how it impacts people with more perspective.

    This Is Your Call To Action

    It’s time to get off the bus, Gus. 

    Reading blogs and doom-scrolling YouTube is the shallow end of the pool.

    The masculine confidence framework I coach men on will give you clarity about how to show up in your marriage with masculine energy. 

    How you’ve been operating has created the marriage you have. 

    Are you ready to have something better?