Masculine Confidence Framework

Book Call

Author: Garrett

  • Walkaway Wife: 3 Red Flags It’s Coming

    Walkaway Wife: 3 Red Flags It’s Coming

    You didn’t marry a walkaway wife: 3 red flags about YOU can push her right out the door, though.

    Even if she’s a Christian…

    Even if you’ve always had good intentions….

    There are 3 red flags in men that women walk away from.

    YouTube player
    Walkaway Wife: 3 Red Flags It’s Coming

    Red Flag #1: You Fail Her “Jealousy Tests”

    Here’s the thing with a walkaway wife: 3 red flags have arisen from the many men I’ve worked with.

    When a woman leaves a marriage, it’s rarely from a specific argument or forgotten birthday.

    She has been suffering for years, while doing a very good job of hiding it.

    A large part of her desire for you revolves around how secure you are.

    She doesn’t consciously come up with ways to test your jealousy.

    Like I said, this is mostly a hidden thing she feels.

    What happens is her feminine way of making connections everywhere she goes reveals how secure you are.

    Think of all the connections she makes with people as a “jealousy test”.

    Below are some examples of how a man can fail these tests.  

    • Getting controlling or suspicious when she has male friends
    • Stressing out when she gets a text from a guy
    • Anxiously pestering her about why, what, who, or where she was
    • Losing your cool when guys give her attention

    Even if all her male friends want to get into her pants, it’s not a red flag.

    Women are very good at keeping guys in the friend zone.

    Just look at how many husbands are stuck in her friend zone, going for years without sex.

    If you’re wife has to adjust her life because of your insecurities, your relationship is on borrowed time.

    Take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why you give a rat’s tail who your wife is friendly towards.

    This was my excuse back in the day: “It’s not that I don’t trust her, it’s that I don’t trust other guys!”

    Another excuse I’ve heard is, “She’s disrespecting me with other guys!”

    Both excuses are based on something most women detest: insecurity.

    I have to laugh at myself for trying to justify those excuses while my marriage was sexless. 

    Seriously. 

    I tried 99.6 “hacks” to get my wife to be intimate with no success.. and I was STILL insecure that with someone else, she would give in…

    Trust me, a woman’s affection is impossible to gain when SHE doesn’t want it to be accessed.

    When our wife feels like we can’t handle how she lives her life, she stops sharing it with us.

    Not long after, she stops letting us inside her heart and body.

    Can we really blame her for closing off when every time she lets us see into her world, we have a cow, act disrespected, or mope around?

    Red Flag #2: You Keep A Mental Score Card Of What She Owes You

    This red flag sounds like this: “After all I’ve sacrificed for this family, the least you could do is give me some sex!”

    Keeping a mental scorecard is deeply revealing about our intentions and indicates a long-term chronic behavior of self-abandonment. 

    I was the guy who “sacrificed” my weekends, time with friends, living location, and hobbies for my wife. 

    On a deeper level, I stopped standing by my own beliefs, stopped prioritizing my own needs, and held her approval on a pedestal.

    Everything I did carried a hidden expectation.

    I would never say it, but boy, could she smell it all over me.

    It got so bad, I couldn’t even hang a picture in the living room or spray the weeds on the sidewalk without expecting her to reciprocate love (preferably in the form of sex). 

    Transactional love will send your wife running for the hills. 

    Red Flag #3: You Can’t Appreciate The “Messiness” Of Your Wife.

    Women are born with a unique ability to create, embellish, stretch, and change the status quo.

    She’s like an artist painting her masterpiece.

    An artist’s room is covered in paint, scraps of canvas, and pieces of craft supplies.

    Yet from the contemplative and messy room of an artist, a high-value painting emerges. 

    A very feminine woman won’t stick to a schedule, finish what she starts, maintain a consistent mood, or make up her mind. 

    If we can’t look at our wife’s “messiness” with the same appreciation as a kitten tumbling in a box of yarn, she’ll grow more masculine, ridged, and closed off around us. 

    We didn’t marry a dude, so we need to stop expecting her to be one.

    She was designed to bring new things into this life.

    Just look at birth.

    There’s blood, poop, slime, screaming… It’s pure chaos.

    But from that mess emerges a new life, your child.

    She is built to “birth” many new experiences into your life.

    Because she is feminine, it will always be messy.

    She is literally the embodiment of Mother Nature.

    Rainbows, sunsets, hurricanes, and wildfires.   

    Walkaway Wife: 3 Red Flags To Resolve Before It’s Too Late

    The 3 red flags you just read about all stem from one common factor: an insecure husband.

    I spent years trying to “trim the wings” of my wife to prevent her from engaging with other men. 

    I managed to get her lifestyle so boxed in, I thought there was no way another man could get with her…Then she had an emotional affair with a woman!

    Like a lightning bolt to my brain, I suddenly realized isolating your partner from other humans because you’re insecure has never worked and never will. 

    I transitioned from being someone who would act extremely distressed if my partner hugged another man to genuinely celebrating with her when she receives attention.

    This new, secure way of living has produced fidelity in my relationship in ways I NEVER experienced before! 

    You can’t white-knuckle what you want into your marriage, you have to attract it. 

    We’re only making the grass greener on the other side of the fence when we’re puking insecurity all over our side.

    The moment we make something forbidden or taboo, it’s instantly more exciting and tempting to flirt with it. 

    To this day, I’m shocked when I see how being secure with my partner’s engagement around others has disempowered their charm over her. 

    The old me never would have believed it, but letting go is how you get some things. 

    Your Next Step To Attract The Marriage You Want

    Through my coaching, we’ll unpack all the things that scare you.

    We’ll face them head-on with NEW perspectives and NEW understanding.

    This rewires your brain.

    You’ll never stop feeling scared or insecure; you’re human.

    But my process builds a new relationship with those feelings so they no longer control your reactions.

    You don’t need to fear a walkaway wife: 3 red flags can be nipped right now.

  • How To Respond When Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

    How To Respond When Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

    The rejection you feel when your wife doesn’t want sex can cut deep.

    It’s confusing, even painful, to wonder why the woman you love doesn’t seem to want your affection anymore.

    She’ll say things like, “Is sex all you think about?” if you try to push past her objections.

    The truth is, long before your wife feels safe to get naked with you physically, she needs to feel safe getting naked with you emotionally.

    In this article, I share how I had to find my inner confidence and stop taking my wife’s rejections personally.

    Masculinity coach Mark Drezga and I dive deeper in this video so you know how to respond when your wife doesn’t want sex.

    YouTube player
    How To Gain REAL Confidence When She Stops Being Intimate

    Build Your Confidence When Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

    When your wife doesn’t want sex, ANY response made from desperation or insecurity will prevent her from wanting sex with you.

    She’s just not drawn to guys who react to her because they feel hurt.

    It’s around session 2 of my masculine confidence framework when my clients have a hard dose of reality to swallow: For years, they’ve been taking sex in their marriage for granted.

    If you compare marriage to a pond, and lack of intimacy to an alligator, the alligator has been there the whole time.

    This means your marriage could have gone sexless ages ago.

    You’ve been obliviously basking in the sun by an alligator-filled pond each time you had sex.

    You behaved in ways that could trigger those alligators, and didn’t even know it.

    How do the alligators come alive? 

    • By explaining her feelings away
    • Ranting about your day without asking about hers
    • Expecting her to think like you do
    • Having an attitude you would never show to your friends or coworkers
    • Always having an explanation for why something is not your fault

    Once the alligators come out, sex is off the table.

    Can you blame her?

    Can you get turned on while swimming through alligator-infested waters?

    But hey, you didn’t know better.

    Alligator ignorance is bliss.

    I call this having “oblivious” confidence.

    When you’re “obviously” confident, you didn’t know you were feeding the alligators every time you complained or ignored your wife’s feelings.

    You didn’t know it made her feel unsafe to be around you.

    Now that your wife doesn’t want sex, you’re seeing reality for the first time.

    When I teach guys how I gained confidence when my wife stopped being intimate, I’m teaching CONSCIOUS confidence. 

    A conscious man is fully aware of what he stands to lose, but stays present and steady.

    He doesn’t fall apart when he realizes he’s been feeding alligators that make her feel unsafe.

    There is a level of ACCEPTANCE he has for where she is without taking it personally.

    Conscious Confidence Is Only Born Through Suffering

    I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite (Form of Amish) church with a 0% divorce rate.  

    We were a private community completely separate from society.

    We didn’t have TVs or radios, and we were only permitted to marry within the Mennonite community.

    Courtship was practiced instead of dating (think of courting akin to only dating someone you’ve already decided you will marry).

    My happy, self-assured, cocky-self crumbled when I first asked a girl for courtship and she refused my offer. 

    This was a point where I could have developed conscious confidence, but I didn’t. 

    With my mojo in the toilet, I fell into victimhood. 

    Needless to say, I attracted zero lovers for several years. 

    Eventually, I got enough spark back that it caught my future wife’s eye.  

    Since divorce was unheard of in ultra-conservative Mennonite churches nationwide, the thought never crossed my mind that I could be divorced.

    Fast forward 10 years. 

    My wife and I were no longer part of the Mennonite community. 

    I found myself holding divorce papers that I didn’t want to sign.

    My suffering this time was rock bottom for me.  

    It’s only from this place of deflated ego that “conscious” confidence is born.

    Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex, She Wants Leadership

    My time as a Mennonite let me see firsthand how when a man leads with confidence, the right woman will follow, and the relationship thrives like it’s supposed to.

    When you stop reacting to your wife and start RESPONDING with leadership, something awakens in her.

    It’s what you feel when she puts on that cute red dress.

    My masculine confidence coaching program is your ticket to a better, stronger, more intimate marriage.

    It’s a culmination of experienced men who have been in your shoes. 

    We men tend to hang onto the last shred of our ego before finally reaching out for help. 

    Don’t wait until all hope is lost to turn your marriage around.

    Take action for your self-development NOW. 

    Stubbornly holding out to save a dollar saves nothing (ask me how I know).  

  • 2 Key Ingredients To Masculine Confidence In Marrage

    2 Key Ingredients To Masculine Confidence In Marrage

    Without masculine confidence in marriage, You’ll start to feel like another kid to take care of to your wife. Decisions, boundaries, scheduling – Your wife feels like she’s having to step up on your behalf over and over. On the flip side, feminine women are drawn to masculine confidence in marriage like a cat to catnip. This week, one of the men in our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course saw a change in his marriage. His wife (who had been disagreeable and cold) warmed up! Her change was in response to his new calm/understanding masculine frame. This article provides two key ingredients to be a more confident husband, even if your marriage is in distress.   

    YouTube player
    Be A Confident Husband: 2 Key Ingredients

    Love Being A Man

    When your confidence is low, everything feels personal.

    No morning kiss from your wife feels like a nagging stab in your gut.

    Her complaints about the house make you feel like you’re not a good enough provider.

    And when she says she feels emotionally neglected, you want to say, “Wait a minute, how do you think I feel?”

    Unless a marriage is led by a man who is secure in himself, it will eventually disintegrate into blaming and victimhood.

    You don’t need to end up as a divorced, gutted shell of yourself who blames others for your suffering.

    Being more secure and unshakable leads to a better life, no matter what.

    You’ll have more masculine confidence in marriage, work, and socially when you value how you are built as a man.

    Yet, many men quickly lose any sense of confidence when it comes to tension and conflict with their wives.

    One major reason for this is due to BRAIN differences!

    A study at the Brain Science Centre in Minneapolis revealed that a female brain can process data 5 times faster than a male brain.

    This is why it feels like your wife can talk circles around you in an argument.

    It’s why her reactions seem to go in 5 directions all at once.

    That’s cool, though.

    Good for her.

    She’s got a gift you don’t have.

    Don’t fight against it.

    Appreciate it…and realize that YOUR brain has a gift of its own.

    Your brain likes to process data more slowly…at an even pace in a way that makes logical sense to you.

    The data your brain processes needs to pass through various phases of contemplation in your mind before making conclusions.

    It’s a gift and a strength, brother!

    And it’s THAT gift that might make her feel like you’re not listening.

    You might look like a deer caught in the headlights while your brain is processing.

    This is nothing for you to be ashamed of.

    Instead, be AMUSED and own it as your superpower!

    The path to greater masculine confidence in marriage is about being comfortable with who you are authentically and not trying to live up to other people’s standards or abilities.

    There are two key ingredients to be able to face marriage distress with confidence:

    1. By knowing you’re OK
    2. By trusting your intentions

    You’ll Have More Masculine Confidence In Marriage When You Believe You’re Going To Be Ok

    If your wife is talking circles around you, she’s doing what people with her brain are supposed to be doing. 

    She’s OK. 

    You’re OK. 

    Everyone is OK.

    If your logical brain tells you she’s way off base or that she isn’t seeing things clearly, take a breath.

    Your brain is just doing what it’s supposed to do.

    Everything is still ok. 

    A man who knows deep down that he’s OK can face chaos with confidence. 

    The Vikings were unstoppable in battle because they believed they couldn’t die except on the day the gods had chosen. 

    In other words, they believed they would be OK no matter what. 

    The Vikings had what we call spiritual confidence, and it made them a fearless force to reckon with! 

    It’s a certain type of faith to develop.

    Faith is believing that everything is working out exactly how it’s supposed to.

    Not because the big man upstairs is moving pieces on a chessboard, but because the world always balances itself through opposites.

    The very fabric of reality behaves according to a specific set of rules.

    It’s the same rules that keep the planets in orbit and prevent dogs from giving birth to cats.

    You are supposed to go through everything that you go through.

    Call it kinetic energy.

    Call it the rubberband effect or karma.

    Whatever it is, you have to have faith in it if you want to have more masculine confidence in marriage and across the board.

    Have More Masculine Confidence In Marriage By Trusting Your Intentions

    How people decide to judge your actions is their choice.

    What’s important is that you trust your own intentions.  

    When you trust your intentions, you can let go of needing to be right, better, or understood by others. 

    To be a more confident man, stop trying so hard to prove yourself.

    When your intentions are honorable, simply trust them.

    Act on them.

    There is nothing to explain or defend when people react to it.

    How You Can Take A BIG Step Towards Confidence This Week

    In my coaching, you learn how to have a strong masculine frame.

    To have more masculine confidence in marriage requires a first step: Knowing your values. 

    I will teach you how to narrow your values down to a few key components that energize your masculine frame.

    Your masculine frame will enable you to face marriage distress with confidence by being clear, strong, and sure of yourself.

    Even if your wife has one foot out the door, doing this work gives your marriage the best chance for survival.

  • Heal Your Mother Wounds To Increase Masculine Confidence

    Heal Your Mother Wounds To Increase Masculine Confidence

    This article reveals two sides of mother wounds in men and how to mature these insecurities into confidence.

    The video below is longer than usual but goes deeper into what causes mother wounds in boys.

    YouTube player
    How To Turn Mommy Issues Into James Bond Confidence

    The Mother Wounds Of The Absent Mom

    When your mom abandons you or barely pays attention to you as a kid, you learn to act out just to get noticed.

    You might resort to teasing her, disagreeing with her, or flat-out disobeying.

    Feminine attention feels like love, even if her attention was only while she was punishing you for misbehaving.

    Now you’re grown up.

    You have a wife, and your mother wounds are going to wreak havoc on your marriage.

    Do you “poke the bear” when you want some love from your wife instead of being direct?

    If so, the mother wounds of the absent mom might be in you.

    Another side effect of an unavailable or absent mother is that you’ll avoid vulnerability.

    You’ll close off emotionally or objectify women.

    Your feelings as a kid were ignored, so you learned to stomach them

    If you can hide your heart, you can’t be hurt, right?

    Well, being emotionally disconnected, “poking the bear”, or objectifying your wife to get her riled up so you feel loved won’t feel loving to her.

    If your relationship is struggling and you want to regain your wife’s affection, you’ll have to resolve your mother wounds.

    Hugh Hefner’s mother kept him at arm’s reach as a kid.

    When you grow up without the trusting, strong, supporting love of the feminine, you’ll distrust it.

    You’ll develop a wall towards feminine care to protect your vulnerability.

    When you lack a healthy connection with your mom, you tend to objectify women or de-personalize them to make sense of the world.

    That’s what Hugh Hefner did.

    He went on to create Playboy Magazine and to build his Playboy mansion.

    But every girlfriend he had said he was shallow.

    He kept his heart closed.

    He lived as a man with the mother wounds of an absent mom.

    The Mother Wounds Of The Orbiting Mom

    When your mom is overly focused on you, it creates mother wounds that are the exact opposite of those caused by an absent mother.

    Instead of objectifying women, you expect them to be latched onto you.

    The child of a mom who makes him the center of her world thinks everything revolves around him.

    He thinks others are responsible for how he feels.

    Elvis Presley is a great example.

    Elvis’s mom was so enmeshed with him, he could hardly face life once she passed away.

    Out of Elvis’s crippling loneliness, he married Priscilla, expecting her to take the role of “mommy” after his mom passed away.

    The marriage of Elvis and Priscilla ended in divorce.

    Elvis sang of his loneliness right up to his last days as he tried to cope with the hole his mom’s death left in his heart.

    When a child is worshiped by their mother, they don’t know how to live without that support.

    A Mom Who Believes in Her Son Creates A Secure Man

    There’s a balance between the absent or orbiting mom, called the supportive mom.

    She believes in his dreams, desires, and ambitions.

    Her support grows his trust in himself and towards the feminine.

    How is this different then the orbiting mom who creates mother wounds?

    When he fails or messes up, she points him to men for help.

    She is not his umbilical cord; other men are.

    When you seek guidance from men, you reduce your reliance on femininity for well-being and courage.

    Unless you’re secure in yourself, you can’t give your wife love without it being needy.

    A great example of this kind of security is the James Bond character.

    • James Bond stays in his own emotional lane, no matter what others are doing
    • He’s deliberate with his movements and doesn’t match women’s energy when he interacts with them
    • James Bond holds steady eye contact, is playful, and is in touch with his heart

    Women can sense when you have a heart, feelings, and experiences, but you CHOOSE not to act on them impulsively!

    A natural attraction occurs when you stay in our own frame around the changing whims of feminine and when you don’t need her to coddle you.

    Even if your mom didn’t believe in you, the mother wounds can be healed when you surround yourself with men who believe in you.

    How To Turn Your Mother Wounds Into Confidence

    As a boy, you looked to others to tell you if you did things right, if you were fast, smart, or funny.

    It doesn’t matter if you had an attentive or absent mother; you’re an adult now.

    You get to define your masculine frame and stop acting from mother wounds.

    Below is an image of what a masculine frame looks like.

    Masculine Frame

    Without a strong INTERNAL frame to contain your behaviours, you’ll feel weak and soft to women.

    My guess is you don’t like being flimsy or wishy-washy any more than she does.

    You can heal your mother wounds and gain this frame when you rewrite some of your core beliefs.

    Right now, you look at life with assumptions (core beliefs) you don’t even know you have.

    There are new mindsets to learn.

    New clarifications to form about your identity as a man.

    This kind of deep work doesn’t happen in one or two sessions.

    Most guys see a permanent change after about 6 months of doing the deep work.

    I’ll be vulnerable and say I was not one of those 6-month guys; it took me 4 years!

    This stuff can’t be rushed or forced; it takes commitment.

    Are you a committed man who’s ready to change how you’ll show up in relationships over the next 20-30 years?

  • Why Your Wife Says You Don’t Listen

    Why Your Wife Says You Don’t Listen

    When your wife says you don’t listen, she’s often reacting less to your listening and more to the way you respond. I’m sure you mean well with your response. But there is a difference between what men and women see as a good response. Often, your response will feel like mansplaining to her. Below, you’ll read two stories about what mansplaining is and how to manage it. The video below gives two additional stories for more insight. Mansplaining is simply offering unsolicited advice or using a demeaning tone with women. Ironically, when men “mansplain” to each other, the results can be positive.

    YouTube player
    Is Mansplaining Bad??

    If Your Wife Says You Don’t Listen, You Might Be Mansplaining

    “I’m pushing so hard on this screwdriver, my palm is bruised!” Emily complained to her husband Tom.

    Tom was unaware that the dishwasher door had been catching the countertop lately.

    Emily removed it at least once a day to ensure a tight seal.

    Tom glanced at Emily’s hands.

    She was using a Phillips screwdriver… to remove a torx bit screw.

    “Why are you using a Philips on a torx bit? Tom Asked.

    Before she could answer, he said, “You need a T10 bit to remove that screw!”

    “I’ve removed this door 20 times, I don’t need you to mansplain to me how it’s done!” Emily replied.

    Tom didn’t mean to mansplain.

    He thought he was being helpful.

    What Tom didn’t realize was that he was offering unsolicited advice.

    Emily was just trying to communicate frustration.

    Tom could have asked her, “Do you want me to listen or give advice right now?”

    Asking her would have shown respect rather than immediately assuming she didn’t know how to use a screwdriver.

    When your wife says you don’t listen, she might just be trying to communicate frustration.

    And what do you do?

    You don’t hear the frustration; you only see the problem.

    How Billy “Mansplained” To Denise

    Billy was in bed for the night.

    His wife, Denise, was in the bedroom folding clothes.

    Denise told Billy, “It’s snowing. I’m worried I’ll be late for work in the morning. I’ll leave extra early in case the roads are bad”.

    Billy was sleepy, but he managed to mumble, “You’re worried traffic will make you late? You hitting the snooze button is more of a concern.”

    Denise seemed a little bothered by this.

    But after a moment, she said, “I just feel like work is expecting way too much of me lately. I think it’s time to tell my boss I can’t take on any more projects”.

    Billy was more awake now.

    He got out of bed to use the master bathroom.

    As he walked past Denise, he said, “You’re feeling overloaded at work because your sister was here all week and she didn’t lift a finger to help around the house”.

    Denise looked at Billy, “Stop trying to explain my feelings to me, I just need you to listen!”

    Billy shook his head and proceeded to the bathroom.

    Moments later, he was back in bed when Denise said, “Tada!”

    She held up a picture frame.

    Earlier that summer, Denise started a side hustle.

    She sold custom picture frames on Etsy.

    “What’s so special about this picture frame?” Billy asked curiously.

    “This one is made of foam, but looks like real wood! I’ll etch grooves in the back with the table saw. That way, the backerboard stays put. Emily replied.

    Tom looked at Emily like a 5-year-old had announced she was going to swim across Lake Erie.

    With a tone of sarcasm, he said, “You’re only excited because you think using power tools makes you ‘cool” or something. Stand to the side when using the table saw, that thing likes to kick back”.

    Denise stomped her foot and cried, “I’m not stupid! Stop mansplaining to me how I feel and how to do stuff!”

    What Billy didn’t take into consideration was that Denise had been using the table saw all summer and was quite familiar with it.

    Billy’s tone felt demeaning.

    Not his words, his tone.

    His words weren’t much better though.

    Each time Denise told Billy her feelings, Billy invalidated her feelings by saying WHY she had them.

    If Your Wife Says You Don’t Listen, Check Your Tone

    Men and women communicate differently.

    This is old news.

    But “different” isn’t necessarily bad..

    Mansplaining never serves when directed to women.

    Mansplaining CAN benefit when directed to MEN.

    So don’t drop the skill altogether!

    What women perceive as “mansplaining” is how we men speak to each other all the time.

    For us guys, when someone speaks to us as if we know nothing, we take it as a challenge to step up our game.

    If you said to your buddy, “I’ll get to work on time despite the snow,” and he replied with, “surrrre you willlll, watch those slick corners,” your friend’s tone of doubt would feel like a CHALLENGE to surpass his expectation.

    Not so for women.

    To her, your tone of doubt makes her feel like an idiot.

    It’s the tone that made her feel that way, not the words themselves.

    When you explain WHY she has feelings, she feels like you’ve invalidated her feelings.

    Like coals in a fire, she has her own self-doubt and insecurities.

    Your tone can blow on those coals, heating them up.

    If you offer your wife unsolicited advice, it can feel like you don’t believe in her abilities.

    If Your Wife Says You Don’t Listen, Stop Talking

    The right thing, spoken at the wrong time, is the wrong thing to say.

    If you screamed, “You’re screwed” at an accident, it wouldn’t help.

    Take your logical “truth” and observations to the men in your mastermind group.

    They can handle your facts without feeling invalidated.

    When your wife opens up, she is trying to let you see how she feels.

    She isn’t asking you to help her understand why she feels how she does.

    She doesn’t even need you to change how she feels.

    Show your wife respect by letting her have her own feelings and ideas.

    See that your wife is doing the best she can.

    Whenever she asks for your logic, give it to her 100%.

    Keep unsolicited advice to yourself.

    If she tells you her feelings and you really, really, want to point out “why,” you can always say, “Honey, do you want me to listen right now or give my advice?”

    She’ll let you know which she needs.

    The truth is, men tend to be logically aware, and women tend to be emotionally aware

    We can easily feel unheard by the other because of our different perspectives.

    Your Next Step To Being A Better Listener

    Many men today are uncertain about what it means to be masculine.

    Without a masculine framework, core values, boundaries, and decisive leadership, your relationship will lose sexual polarity.

    The masculine confidence framework gives you the clarity to show up to any situation with women attractively and confidently.

    There are old patterns you operate by that you can’t even see.

    When your wife says you don’t listen, she’s mirroring yourself back to you.

    What does that mean?

    It means there are parts of yourself you are not listening to.

    Improving your relationship with yourself always improves your relationships with others.

  • How Two Of My Clients Re-Attracted Their Wife This Week

    How Two Of My Clients Re-Attracted Their Wife This Week

    Two of my clients re-attracted their wife in a way that shocked even them. Two weeks ago, these women were done, checked out, cold, and planning their exit. Today, they’re affectionate, engaged, and back in their husbands’ arms. I’ll share the story of how these runaway wives came running back. 

    YouTube player
    How Two Of My Clients Re-Attracted Their Wife This Week

    If You Love Her, Let Her Go

    There’s a milestone that men I work with usually reach. 

    The husband finally drops his expectations for his wife to make him happy.

    • He would like her to love him, but he’s cool if she’s not up for it. 
    • He wants a sweet and affectionate partner, but he won’t try to change her if she isn’t.
    • He would like her to be married to him, but he’s not going to hold the door shut if she wants out. 

    When a man reaches this stage, his wife tends to second-guess her choice to leave the relationship.

    Before my clients re-attracted their wife, they had to pass her tests.

    She wanted to know if his changes were genuine.

    How did she test him?

    By being moody & critical to see how he responded.

    By bringing up the past, to see if he would accept responsibility instead of being defensive.

    Both of my clients stood strong under her tests!  

    And both had partners who were emotionally cold and adamant about ending the relationship a few weeks ago.

    For months, these guys chased their lover, trying to get her to choose him. 

    Today, they’re being chased by her.  

    Neither of these guys had been trying to save their relationship recently (and that’s the secret).

    When these men first started coaching with me, they were hell-bent on saving their relationship.

    During our first few weeks together, we focused 100% on strengthening their masculine operating principles so they could be strong enough to let their partner go out of love and self-respect.

    Why self-respect?

    Because you deserve someone who loves you in return.

    My clients re-attracted their wife because they got this.

    Over and over, I’ve seen women circle back when the man demonstrates this much self-security and love by setting her FREE. 

    Letting go of a woman includes letting go of all the stuff you’ve been holding against her. 

    These guys also learned to let go of the neediness, fear, desperation, and anxiety that had driven them to hang onto their relationships with a death grip.

    True love does not possess; it sets free.

    That’s a truth you have to reckon with.

    In the story of the fisherman who claims he eats fish because he loves fish, it’s obvious that it doesn’t feel like love from the fish’s perspective.

    Is the love you have for your wife “fish love”?

    Making her stay because you don’t want to feel heartbreak or loss isn’t love.

    My Clients Re-Attracted Their Wife Because Leadership Is Attractive

    Part of having a strong masculine core is being able to LEAD. 

    Leading means going first. 

    Want a happy wife? Be happy first.

    Want a respectful wife? Respect her first. 

    If you want a wife who chooses you, then let her have the option to leave.

    Letting your wife go and then hiding in the bushes waiting for her return doesn’t work. 

    Both my clients were shocked when their partners wanted back into the relationship because they GENUINELY had let her go, moved on, and were actively creating NEW amazing lives without her. 

    The masculine confidence framework provides a blueprint to gain massive self-confidence, a clear value system, and an inspiring mission worth living for.

    Women are attracted to men who are bold leaders who fearlessly create the life they want! 

    As my clients discovered, your ex isn’t the only person who notices how attractive you’ve become when you’re secure enough to let her go. 

    Many times, other women come out of the woodwork when you’re a confident, secure man. 

    You go from having no women who want you to having several. 

    Not everyone has the means to commit to 1:1 coaching like these guys did. 

    That’s why we created the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course. 

    In the course, Mark Drezga & I teach the framework you need to regain your mojo and masculine leadership without breaking the bank.

    My clients re-attracted their wife, I promise you’ll attract something you didn’t expect when you start living in the new frame the course teaches.

    I’m a “Go big or go home” man.

    If you share the same mindset, we can make something BIG happen together.

    1:1 mentorship is the BIGGEST, most personalized, powerful, and heart-connecting way to learn this stuff.

  • I’m A Good Guy, Why Doesn’t My Wife Want Me?

    I’m A Good Guy, Why Doesn’t My Wife Want Me?

    I know you’re a great provider and all-around good guy….but, your wife isn’t impressed. In fact, she might even be asking for space or ready to file for divorce.  I’ll introduce you to a former client and share how he saved his marriage. Many men have thought, “I’m a good guy, why doesn’t my wife want me?” But few have realized that being “good” isn’t what attracts her.

    YouTube player
    I’m A Good Guy, Why Doesn’t My Wife Want Me??

    If you value family, hard work, integrity, being a handyman, honesty, or loyalty, then we’re cut from the same cloth. 

    If you lean towards being easy-going, non-confrontational, conflict-avoidant, or self-sacrificing, then we’re pretty much blood brothers. 

    “Camp Good Guy” – Where Relationships Go To Die

    I’m a seasoned veteran at “Camp Good Guy”.

    This is a camp where every man thinks being good separates him from the assholes.

    Maybe you don’t like how your dad was forceful with your mom.

    Or you’re repulsed by how most men treat women.

    Whatever the case, you decided to never become like THOSE men.

    So you joined “Camp Good Guy”.

    Makes sense.

    Until your sex life is gone and you’re wondering what happened.

    I’ve lived at “Camp Good Guy” long enough to tell you how life goes in this camp. 

    You’ll marry a woman who’s your opposite. 

    You’ll pour your soul into creating a life for her that you never had.

    Over time, you’ll learn to tiptoe around her sensitivities and suppress your opinions to avoid conflict. 

    Secretly, you’ll compare what you provide to how she acts, and feel shorted.

    At “Camp Good Guy”, men’s wives are lining up to leave the relationship.

    These soon-to-be ex-husbands are hearing complaints like:

    • You don’t stand up for me
    • I don’t feel supported
    • I don’t feel an emotional connection with you
    • I love you, but I don’t feel in love with you
    • You make me feel stupid and invalidate my feelings

    How A Man Moved Out Of “Camp Good Guy” And Saved His Marriage

    Meet Gavin. 

    Gavin is a client who joined the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course a year and a half ago. 

    Gavin’s marriage was on the verge of falling apart

    He was terrified to breathe, fearing the axe would fall and his wife would file for divorce.

    Just like you and I, Gavin was thinking, “I’m a good guy, why doesn’t my wife want me?”

    He feared she might be having an affair.

    Through the course, Gavin learned to drop his unspoken expectations and grievances toward his wife.

    He learned how to be secure in himself, how to live his values, have a spine, and be direct while still showing presence and care for his wife’s feelings. 

    Gavin didn’t become mean.

    The opposite of the “good guy” isn’t a tyrant.

    It’s about having self-worth and not giving with strings attached.

    This new, mature version of Gavin left his wife with a choice. 

    She could choose to walk away from an amazing man, or she could join him in a more mature way of interacting. 

    She chose to surrender to his leadership and match his level of love and respect.

    Over the last year and a half, Gavin’s marriage has been the most intimate, connected, respectful, and loving it has ever been. 

    Just like you, Gavin read a similar email about the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course. 

    Gavin decided to get off the fence and join. 

    His testimony today is that he would have lost his marriage if he hadn’t joined our course. 

    I encourage you to check out the course or have a private conversation with me.

    I promise you’ll have no regrets learning how to be a more confident, secure man.  

    At some point, each of us has thought, “I’m a good guy, why doesn’t my wife want me?”

    We’re in the trenches together learning to let go of our win-lose mindsets and give from abundance, not needy expectations.

    I’m ready to welcome you into this new way of living with open arms.

  • 6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom

    6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom

    I’m sure you want to be more bold in the bedroom, but you also don’t want to feel like a predator. The female mind possesses fantasies and secret desires waiting to be ravished! Timing is everything. This article and video helps you identify when to let your wild love-making loose.

    Do Women Desire Sexual Boldness?

    Women often secretly crave what they repress.

    In 2023, over 39 million romance novels were sold, with 82% of those purchases made by women.

    Romance novels depict scenes so erotic, even a sex coach would blush.

    The provocative narrative in these novels proves women DO have an intense desire to be seduced in bold, imaginative ways.

    As a man, you get turned on by your physical senses.

    What you see, hear, smell, and touch gets your passions fired up.

    You can easily assume that if your wife is not turned on, you just need to stimulate her.

    You might even think being more bold in the bedroom means using more toys or lube.

    While women do appreciate physical stimulation, it’s most enjoyable for her AFTER she’s turned on.

    This raises the question all men have asked, “What turns her on??”

    Well, it’s not the toys, lube, or vibrator…

    In the video below, I talk more about female arousal.

    YouTube player
    6 Signs She Would Like You To Be Bolder in the Bedroom

    Being Sexually Bold 24/7 Backfires

    Women desire romantic confidence from their partners, but not constantly.

    Shame around your sexuality does need to be resolved if you want to be more bold in the bedroom.

    You need to be confident with your body, warts and all.

    Being awkward with your lovemaking will shut her down.

    But if you boldly push your sexuality 24/7, it’s just as bad as shame or being awkward.

    Initiating sex takes confidence.

    Hitting the brakes if she isn’t receptive while maintaining playfulness takes MORE confidence.

    In a long-term relationship, your wife is turned on by how you handle her

    rejections, not by how well you can perform in bed.

    This made no sense to me when I first learned it.

    I thought being more bold in the bedroom meant being more fearless to initiate sex.

    Handling rejection in a positive way revolutionized my sex life.

    When you can call off your sexual pursuit while maintaining a non-needy vibe, her juices start to flow.

    How Desire for Physical Intimacy Builds Up In Women

    A woman’s desire builds through numerous intimate moments.

    Like “drips” filling a bucket, the bucket is eventually full of arousal.

    Women are vessels who accumulate their experiences internally.

    Have you noticed your wife always remembers the past?

    Her emotional experiences accumulate, one on top of the other, shaping how she feels right now.

    “Intimate moments” are things like:

    • Feeling valued
    • Feeling emotionally safe and connected
    • Feeling slight anxiety about our love for her (creates want)
    • Feeling a little left out (creates desire)
    • Feeling appreciated
    • Feeling teased
    • Feeling beautiful

    In my experience, when a relationship is NOT on the rocks, a woman will accumulate “intimate moments” into her bucket for about a week (or even two) before she starts to brim with erotic desire.

    Her brimming desire is a green light to be more bold in the bedroom!

    We men are so different!

    Show us a picture of a hot girl, and we’re turned on NOW.

    Women show signs when they’re ready for us to express our unbridled sexuality.

    Here are 6 Signs It’s Time To Be More Bold In The Bedroom:

    1. She’s blushing, avoiding eye contact, and fiddling with her hair
    2. She’s happily chatting for a very long time.
    3. She’s lingering around while occasionally brushing against you or touching your arm.
    4. She walks by with no pants or top, then lingers for no apparent reason.
    5. She shows you a craft or something she made, then hangs around like she’s waiting for a pat on the head.
    6. She faces you while she talks, and when you step closer, she doesn’t back up or turn to the side.

    Blushing is my favorite sign to be more bold in the bedroom.

    When she’s blushing, she’s literally so hot and bothered she can’t control herself.

    When you see these signs, hesitation will squander the moment.

    The moment she shows one (or more) of the signs above, cup her face and plant a long, hot kiss on her lips.

    If she’s receptive to the kiss, lead her into an amazing, intimate experience!

    If she isn’t receptive to your kiss, leave the room with a wink.

    Your level of arousal has zero bearing on her arousal.

    This is another thing that’s totally backwards between men and women.

    Most men are turned on by their lady getting turned on.

    Trust me, your raging hard on does nothing to get her turned on.

    Testing her because you’re horny is as annoying as a mosquito on a summer night.

    LET HER COME TO YOU with signs she’s ALREADY turned on before going for a long, hot kiss.

    How To Be More Bold In The Bedroom When Your Marriage Is Struggling

    If I could boil this whole article down to one sentence, it would be this: Your horniness is not the indicator of when it’s time to be sexually bold; her receptivity is.

    Self-evaluating questions to improve intimacy:

    • How good am I at not taking things personally so I can connect with where SHE is?
    • Can I see “no” as an indicator of HER state, not a statement about me?
    • Do I have clarity about how I love to behave regardless of how others behave?

    In our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course,” I give you the framework to be a confident, attractive man who’s going to be more bold in the bedroom.

    In the course, we teach you how to stop walking on eggshells with your amazing gift of sexual intimacy and to view yourself as the prize.

    This course is taught LIVE so you get specific coaching for your situation.

    When a relationship is on the rocks, it’s time to face your fears, shame, insecurities, and triggers and stop trying to “fix” what’s frustrating about your partner.

    Until you face your own issues, you’re not in a position to lead the relationship to a better place.

    Be the sexually bold man she can’t rattle.

  • What To Do When She Says, “Stop Trying To Fix Me”

    What To Do When She Says, “Stop Trying To Fix Me”

    Does an honest conversation with your wife turn into her saying, “Stop trying to fix me?” This article tells a TRUE story about how men and women interact differently with emotions. In the video below, I share how to communicate with your wife so she doesn’t feel like you’re trying to fix her.  

    YouTube player
    She Said, “Stop Trying To Fix Me!!” – How To Respond

    Trying To Fix Women: A Peek Behind The Curtain

    Billy enters the living room.

    His wife’s face is distressed. 

    Grace and Billy have been married for nearly a decade, and he knows when one of her meltdowns is imminent. 

    Billy is a competent man.

    He can fix anything to keep the household running… except for Grace when she’s this worked up.

    “I feel like I have to do EVERYTHING around here,” Grace sobs.

    Billy replies, “No, you don’t! When was the last time you did anything outside? I handle ALL the yardwork myself!”

    Grace’s face tightens, “Why is everything always about you? A decent husband would give me some emotional support!”

    “I’m not making everything about me! I’m just pointing out how you got yourself into this mess.” Billy said emphatically.

    A few tears leak down Grace’s cheeks. 

    Billy and Grace always fall into this rut.

    Grace makes illogical complaints, Billy points out why she is wrong, and then Grace makes him feel like he’s failed.

    Billy knows he’s dug himself into a hole.

    He tries to climb out by saying, “Why didn’t you ask for help if you felt overloaded? I would have helped. Plus, half the stuff you did could have waited!”

    “Stop trying to fix me!” Grace replies.

    There it was… the ONE phrase that always baffled Billy… Why on earth does she think he’s trying to “fix” her??

    “I’m not trying to fix you! I’m just trying to understand,” Billy says sharply.

    Grace stands up straight, wipes her tears, and walks out of the room. 

    Billy hears her go into their bedroom and close the door.

    “Great… Now she’ll keep herself locked in our bedroom all afternoon, then give me the silent treatment when she emerges,” Billy mumbles as he throws his hands up in bewilderment.

    Do You Feel Misunderstood When She Says, “Stop Trying To Fix Me”?

    In the story of Billy and Grace, there’s two dynamics unfolding. 

    1. Grace is focused on WHAT she feels.
    2. Billy is focused on WHY she feels it. 

    In a man’s world, 99% of our distress is around the “WHY”. 

    • WHY is the roof leaking?
    • WHY is my shirt lost?
    • WHY does my wife not want sex?

    As a man, you have a logical, troubleshooting brain.

    You intend to make things better.

    This can leave you feeling misunderstood when your partner doesn’t see it that way.

    That’s because she doesn’t need a solution.  

    In your world, if you can find the WHY, you can change the WHY, and then give a solution.

    This process works great in the workplace, laboratory, and engineering department! 

    But when you interact with a woman, it makes her feel like you’re not seeing the whole picture.  

    If your wife is staying, “stop trying to fix me”, it’s best to keep your WHY questions to yourself.

    Is There A Time You Should Be “Fixing” Your Wife?

    Yes, there’s one time when you should “fix” your wife…When she asks you to!

    I’m going to be Captain Obvious and point something out. 

    Trying to “fix” your wife never creates a deeper connection in the marriage. 

    Trying to “fix” your crumbling marriage will have the same result. 

    Men come to me every day wanting to “fix” their relationship. 

    I empower my clients with the necessary tools to overcome their OWN fears, insecurities, and emotional dependencies.

    The flighty, emotional, ebb and flow of feminine is not a riddle to solve. 

    Your role as her man is to be the string to her kite, a man with balls. 

    A man with balls…

    • Has nothing to prove
    • Doesn’t need to be right or change how others feel for him to be okay
    • Isn’t a doormat in the relationship

    If you want to learn how to be the masculine leader in your relationship, then consider joining our, “Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course“

    How To Lead Connection When She Says, “Stop Trying To Fix Me”

    Not surprisingly, Billy and Grace ended up divorced. 

    This was the wake-up call Billy needed.

    He dove into personal development.

    He found there’s a different way to THINK about women, emotions, and feelings. 

    His new understanding helped him stop taking things so personally. 

    He learned how to BE relaxed, accepting, and empathetic towards women.

    He no longer pushed for the “why” behind women’s feelings and could listen to “what” she feels instead.

    Billy met a new lady and created a deep connection with her.

    He opened layers of her heart she had never shared before.

    How juicy is that!

    His new relationship skills were not luck.

    Billy deliberately learned to drop HIS discomfort, HIS confusion, and HIS tension around women’s feelings. 

    Perhaps you’re at the end of your rope and want to go all in on the biggest transformation of your life. 

    If you can relate to Billy’s story, take the next step.

  • How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    I’ll show you how to make your wife want you again by becoming a version 2.0 of yourself. Women respond to the energy you bring into the relationship. Below is a video with examples from the TV show “Vikings” to illustrate the kind of energy your wife can’t resist.

    Focus On Causes, Not Symptoms

    Every day, I speak to men in a desperate spot. 

    They sincerely want to save their failing marriage, but everything they do seems to backfire.  

    I know how easy it is to hyper-focus on everything that’s “wrong” in your relationship.

    You’ll assume what’s “wrong” is preventing your marriage from turning around. 

    The problem with this approach is you’re trying to resolve symptoms, not causes. 

    • Lack of affection/no sex
    • Poor communication
    • Blaming attachment styles
    • Love language frustrations
    • Emotional coldness/withdrawal
    • Her inability to be respectful or do self-improvement

    The list above is symptoms, not root causes.

    I say it all the time, “Love covers a multitude of sins”.

    When your wife feels attracted to you, she overlooks the annoyances (and so do you).

    The level of personal happiness and fulfillment you feel outside of marriage determines how you’ll eventually feel inside the marriage.

    The degree to which you can create an amazing life without your wife determines the degree to which you can create one with her.

    If you’re not emotionally secure enough to let her go, you’re not emotionally secure enough to have her. 

    These are the kinds of insecurities and root causes that cripple a relationship. 

    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again If She Wants Space

    If your wife wants space, that means she doesn’t want to manage your needs for you.

    She’s tired.

    She wants to feel a SPARK when she’s around you, not obligation.

    Watch my video below to see how a woman’s feelings change when her man gets his spark back. 

    YouTube player
    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    One of the most effective ways to attract a woman is to let her go. 

    She wants to have the freedom to CHOOSE you.

    How do you give her that freedom?

    By letting her have the option to NOT choose you.

    A man without an inspiring life mission will see his wife as his source of happiness.

    She becomes his purpose for living. 

    You can’t let her go if you can’t imagine living an amazing life without her. 

    I know this seems backwards.

    You probably think your inability to live an amazing life without her is proof of your love for her.

    But it’s the opposite for her.

    Your partner is not wired to be responsible for her happiness AND yours. 

    A huge burden is lifted off her shoulders when you have a life that’s so energizing that your spark, charisma, excitement, joy, and inspiration are full regardless of what she does.

    How A Viking Reattracted His Lover

    In the video, I point out how Rollo wallows in his self-pity, victim mindset, and lack of purpose.

    These behaviours make Siggy lose her attraction for him. 

    Rolo blames his brother, his ex-lover, the gods’, and everyone else for his life. 

    For a time, he tries to demand respect and love from others.

    This quickly makes his situation worse.

    I realize this story is made up, but it mirrors what I see with men I work with. 

    Again and again, I’ve seen my client’s wife circle back after he gets clear, excited, and motivated by his positive future to the point that he lovingly lets her go.

    These men grew until they:

    • No longer resisted the divorce process.
    • No longer needed to “be right”.
    • No longer needed her mood be different for him to be ok.
    • Could unshakably trust in his own ability to create the experiences he wanted.
    • Accepted that she is on her own journey of personal growth and is progressing at her own pace.
    • Stopped “fighting for the marriage.”

    In the video, Siggy suddenly became re-attracted to Rollo because his spark brought energy to the relationship.

    That’s the opposite of needing the relationship to give him energy.

    She wanted to feel ALIVE. 

    Women move towards what makes her feel ALIVE.

    You get to take the lead and demonstrate what feeling alive looks like. 

    Your partner is wired to respond to the energy you bring into your relationship.

    Your vibe, tone, and look in our eyes do all the talking.

    How To Get Your Wife Back If Your Spark Is Gone

    Getting your wife back won’t happen until you get your spark back.

    When I take a man through my Masculine Confidence Framework, I’m giving him the foundation for who HE is.

    I give you clarity on HOW to be YOURSELF in your relationship.

    You’ll emerge from this framework with personalized, unflappable self-trust and inner security.

    You read that right. 

    YOUR masculine frame is not going to consist of the same values or operating principles as the next guy. 

    My coaching challenges YOUR pain points, YOUR perspectives, and YOUR excuses. 

    An interesting study revealed how high testosterone doesn’t necessarily equal high female attraction.

    What the researchers discovered was that low levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) had more of an appealing effect on women than high testosterone did.

    You don’t need to be more “macho” for your wife to want you.

    You need to be more comfortable in your own skin, more OK, and more relaxed to face what needs to be faced.

    If you’re ready to have your brain rewired so you can make decisions quickly, know how to be with feminine emotions, and live as a man with an inspiring purpose, then let’s talk.

    I promise you’ll gain clarity on how to make your wife want you again without being fake or manipulative.