Masculine Confidence Framework

Category: Attraction

This section contains Empowering blog articles are for men passionate about creating attraction with their cold, dismissive, or withdrawn wife.

Why Nice Guys End Up in Sexless Marriages
Nice guys end up in sexless marriages, not because they’re bad men, but because they’ve been fed some lies about what it means to be a man.

They think being “nice,” agreeable, and emotionally accommodating will keep the peace and keep the connection alive.

But here’s the gut punch: nice guys often kill attraction without even realizing it.

The 22-minute video below explains more.

Nice Guys End Up in Sexless Marriages By Not Being Solid In Themselves

Most men don’t realize that the very behaviors they believe will save their relationship are actually killing the spark.

Attraction needs:
- Polarity
- Boundaries
- Your spine
…Not a man who’s constantly tiptoeing around her emotions, hoping not to rock the boat.

I know this story because I lived it.

I was the “good husband.”

The peacekeeper.

The emotional chameleon who thought avoiding conflict would make me desirable.

It didn’t.

And the truth is, your wife can’t choose to feel attraction.

So stop demanding it from her.

Stop bending over backward for it.

Feminine desire doesn’t respond to logic or “not being like your dad”, It responds to energy.

When your energy is soft, accommodating, and afraid to lead, the spark dies.

That’s how nice guys end up in sexless marriages without ever seeing it coming.

Are You Showing Up As A Man You Are Proud Of?

When you live with purpose, hold standards, and speak from your emotional truth, your confidence grows.

You stop chasing approval.

You stop begging for scraps.

And sometimes, yes…that kind of personal growth often reignites her desire.

And if it doesn’t? You’ll have the clarity to walk away.

Knowing you showed up as your best self gives you peace of mind and freedom.

How To Gain Confidence In Your Relationship

A man must thrive without feminine support before he can thrive with it.

How about having:
- More confidence
- More passion
- More success
- More connection
All of this is gained when I coach you privately.
April 2, 2025
How To Make Her Fingers Want To Trace Your Skin Again
There was a time when your wife’s touch was effortless. She’d run her fingers down your arm mindlessly, play footsie under the table, or instinctively curl up against you in bed. It wasn’t something you had to think about—it just happened. But now? That intimacy feels like a distant memory. Like Blockbuster video stores, it just… disappeared.

You catch yourself wondering how to make her fingers want to trace your skin again. Here’s the hard truth: You’ve probably skipped some critical steps.

The Paradox of Attraction

For men, physical intimacy creates feelings of connection.

For women, connection creates the desire for physical intimacy.

If she’s pulling away, it’s not random.

She’s responding to a smell in the room (and it’s not your cologne).

So, what do you do?

Well, you could watch my 6-minute video below—or keep reading, you overachiever. ?

The Path Back to Passion

Imagine right now you’re in a boat.

You want to head toward “Hot & Wild Sex Island” off on the horizon.

Seems simple—just row straight there, right?

Wrong.

There are two islands you must stop at first:
- Emotional Connection Island – Where she feels seen for who she is, understood, and safe with you.
- Spiritual Connection Island – Where your presence draws her in like a spiritual glow around you. Her emotions don’t knock you off center because you know you will be ok. Your energy feels like Yoda, but with better-looking skin and words that make sense
Learning how to make her fingers want to trace your skin again means making port at these two islands.

Men who try to find and fix what they think (or she thinks) is wrong in the marriage will make the boat go in circles.

That’s because EVERYTHING becomes a “problem” for a lady when we skip those two islands.

Once she experiences your emotional and spiritually grounded energy, those other problems fix themselves.

The Man She Wants to Touch

A spiritually strong man doesn’t need her validation to feel solid.

He doesn’t have to live like a monk or be a perfect husband either.

What he does is stare down failure, rejection—even death—believing he will be okay.
- No matter what she says.
- No matter how she reacts.
- No matter how much she blames, criticizes, or tests.
She can feel your energetic response like a spiritual force field.

If that energy makes her uneasy, it’s against her nature to want to get closer to you—let alone touch you.

Your Wife Can’t Paddle Your Boat for You

She can’t take you to Emotional Island or Spiritual Island—that’s on you.

And the only way to move your boat forward?

Use paddles made of the very thing you want to experience when you get there.
- Want respect? Give respect.
- Want appreciation? Show appreciation.
- Want passion? Live with passion.
If you’re paddling with expectations, resentments, or bitterness, you’re not moving toward “Hot & Wild Sex Island”—you’re paddling away from it.

Don’t Keep Paddling in Circles

I break all of this down in my book so you don’t have to keep guessing (or making things worse).

It’s packed with clear, actionable steps that I wish someone had taught me years ago—preferably before I learned the hard way.

Every man who wants a thriving relationship needs to understand this.

? Grab your copy here

Start paddling in the right direction today.

Stay grounded, brother.

Garrett Prettyman
February 21, 2025
Why Are Some Men So Good With Women?

Seduction. Desire. Play.

Let’s be real—we love to be swept off our feet by a lover.

There’s nothing like a woman so stunning she stops you in your tracks.

And sure, we all know true beauty is on the inside, but let’s not pretend we don’t appreciate it when it’s on the outside too.

Here’s the thing—feminine women feel the same pull.

Only for them, it’s not about looks.

They notice:

? Strength

? Self-confidence

? Momentum/Leadership

That’s what draws her in.

That’s what keeps her interested.

And if your Relationship is struggling, it’s time to take a good hard look in the mirror.

The Hard Truth About Attraction in a Strained Relationship

It’s easy to let yourself go once you’re married.

You settle into routines.

You get comfortable.

You assume she’ll always be there.

And then one day… she isn’t.

Now, let’s be clear—getting a fresh haircut or dropping 20 pounds won’t save your marriage.

But let’s use some common sense—if you care about your house, you paint it and fix the roof when it leaks.

Your body, your presence, your energy? Same thing.

Neglect yourself, and you send a message—you’re not serious about LIVING.

And if you’re not serious about living, why should she be excited to live it with you?

This is where most men go wrong.

They wonder, Why are some men so good with women?—and assume it’s about tricks, gimmicks, or even luck.

But the truth is much simpler.

It’s about presence.

It’s about energy.

It’s about being a man who lives with purpose rather than looking to others to give him those things.

The Inside & Outside Game of Seduction

In the pickup world, they call haircuts, jawlines, and money “Outside Game.”

It’s what turns heads.

It can attract women fast, but like a beautiful storefront with nothing inside, if there’s no substance, she’ll walk right out the back door.

That’s where Inside Game comes in.

Inside Game is about who you are when it counts:

? How you hold yourself when things get tense

? Your tone when she pushes back

? The way you look at her when she’s in her own storm

That’s when she feels who you really are.

And if what she feels isn’t grounded, strong, and certain—she pulls away.

It’s why some men seem to have natural success with women while others struggle.

They embody strength and certainty—not to seduce, but as a way of being true to themselves.

Your Wife Wants to Be Seduced—Even Now

Yes, even now.

She wants to be romanced.

She wants to be wooed.

She wants to feel something real.

Because let’s be honest—the daily grind? It’s the exact opposite of seduction.

Even one of the best pickup artists of all time, stage-named “Mystery,” said married women were his easiest targets.

Why?

Because they were starving for attention, excitement, and connection.

Can you blame them?

We’re all racing toward the grave.

How many truly great memories are you going to make before you get there?

Women seem to be most aware of this.

She won’t waste her time on a sinking ship.

And if you’re wondering, Why are some men so good with women?, here’s your answer: They live their PURPOSE from the INSIDE-OUT.

How You Can Become A Purpose Filled Man

I know a man is living from the OUTSIDE-In when he:

? Complains

? Blames others

? Seeks validation

Here’s the truth—when your purpose and mission are clear, you should walk, talk, and behave like a man who loves every damn minute of it.

And that’s all any woman truly dreams of feeling from her man.

If you’re ready to do what it takes to bring that energy back—Then let’s talk.

Book a “Get Grounded Now“ consultation, and I’ll get you clear on your next move.

Stay grounded, brother.

—Garrett Prettyman

February 7, 2025
Speak Her Language: The Art of Real Connection

Real connection is intimate. It’s meaningful. If you’re feeling stuck in your marriage, frustrated by the silence and misunderstandings, here’s the truth: Communication isn’t about fixing things. It’s about being able to listen. Poor communication? That’s just the smoke, brother. The real fire is underneath, and that’s where we’re heading.

Real Connection is About Relaxing Enough To Tune In

Back when I had my snowplowing business, we used radios to keep the trucks in sync.

Everybody knew their lane, their role, and their timing like Canadian geese flying in formation.

You might think that kind of clear-cut system would work at home, right?

Just say what you need to say and the other person listens.

But marriage isn’t a job site, It’s a dance with a pretty lady.

And that dance runs on emotional connection, not instructions.

A man in a relaxed state of mind invites real connection without effort.

She Doesn’t Want the ‘Why’—She Wants the ‘What’

Here’s the thing about men: We’re wired to ask why.

Why’s the car smoking?

Why’s this situation broken?

But for women, it’s all about the what.

What does she feel?

What’s her heart telling her?

The next time your wife critiques your dishwasher-loading skills, don’t ask why she cares—ask yourself what she’s feeling.

Frustration?

Overwhelm?

That’s where the real conversation starts.

Think of her emotions as layers.

On the surface, there’s what she’s showing—the irritation, the complaints.

Beneath that are her feelings, the unspoken truth of what’s really going on.

And at the core?

Desire.

The desire is where she wants you to meet her, brother.

When she feels like you get her desire, walls come down, connection lights up, and suddenly, the dishwasher isn’t such a big deal.

In the video below, I spend 20 minutes going over this in more detail.

How to Turn Things Around

Here’s the deal: Communication flows when you’re calm and confident.

Real connection is blocked when you’re defensive, insecure, or trying too hard to fix things.

The best thing you can do is stay in your lane, own your space, and lead with empathy.

When you’re clear on who you are, you make space for her to feel safe and seen.

Want to lead better communication?

Start with yourself.

Confidence isn’t about proving your worth—it’s about knowing it.

It’s about showing up clear, grounded, and ready to meet her where she is.

If you’re ready to dig in and do the work, let’s talk.

Book a free “Get Grounded Now” call, and we’ll map out how you can lead your marriage back to connection and intimacy.

Keep living true and steady, brother.

Garrett Prettyman

January 23, 2025
Failing Marriage? 2 Mistakes Successful Men in Their 40s Make

Are you a man who is highly successful everywhere in life yet finds yourself in a failing marriage? I will show you a clear path to achieving the same success in your marriage that you’ve mastered in other areas of your life.

Why Are Most Men Blindsided By Their Failing Marriage?

By our 40s, the sheer amount of effort we’ve poured into our business or career starts to show.

The early days of marriage when pennies were pinched have faded and basic life expenses are no longer a stress.

We hoped that years of hard work and sacrifice would pay off, allowing us to enjoy a fulfilling life with our wife for the long term

But now that we stand at the best point in life to begin this epic chapter, why doesn’t she doesn’t seem interested or engaged?

All too common, our years of labor have taken a toll on the marriage and a distance has grown with her.

It can feel like she has a separate life, one filled with routines and friends we know nothing about.

The story below tells how a man named David found himself in this exact situation and what he did to turn it around.

David’s Success At Work Didn’t Equal Success At Home

David stood in his office, staring out the window.

His mind was usually absorbed in work.

Today, however, it was consumed with thoughts of Chelsie, his wife of 18 years.

At work, everything was clear.

He set high standards, monitored performance, and got results.

But at home, his system was failing.

Chelsie’s cold shoulder had started months ago.

At first, David ignored it, thinking it would pass.

But she stayed distant.

She avoided his touch, brushed off his attempts to connect, and barely talked about her day.

Frustrated, David had told her many times, “This is unacceptable! I need love and affection in this marriage! What is your problem?”

Each time, it only made things worse.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need,” Chelsie snapped one evening.

Her words stuck with him.

Why couldn’t she just tell him what was wrong so they could fix their failing marriage?

He managed dozens of people at work, each with their own needs, and got them to perform.

Why couldn’t Chelsie do the same?

David sighed and turned away from the window.

Deep down, he knew the answer.

Chelsie wasn’t one of his employees.

She was his wife, his source of love—the one person he knew could shake his confidence.

Women Struggle To Feel Affection For A Man Who Fears Her

At work, David felt in control.

He could fire underperformers or change strategies without hesitation.

But at home, Chelsie’s rejection cut deep.

Her coldness made him feel small, like he wasn’t enough.

That fear paralyzed him.

David had spent months focusing on what he didn’t like in their marriage.

He pointed out her flaws and told her she was wrong for shutting him out.

But he never thought about what she needed.

His critical thinking—his strength at work—was failing him at home.

The truth was, Chelsie didn’t want a manager.

She wanted a lover.

She wanted the playful, relaxed man she had married.

The David who made her laugh, wasn’t afraid of her moods, and didn’t treat their relationship like a quarterly project.

That version of David had been buried under his drive for success.

He was so focused on work that he lost touch with the fun, loving side of himself.

Deep down, there were many things Chelsie wanted to share with David but she knew her true feelings would be met by his frustration or need to fix them.

David feared her feelings and he feared losing intimacy – a power Chelise didn’t want to have over him.

Like darkness slowly enveloping her, Chelsie’s affectionate feelings for David diminished as he continued to hold her responsible for his frustration.

2 Hidden Mistakes Successful Men Make At Home

Whenever I’ve coached highly successful men, I’ve noticed two common mistakes.

The first mistake is we think our wife’s cold reactions are unfair to what we’ve provided.

We look at our list of amazing things we’ve done, analyze her current reaction, and then think, “This doesn’t add up!!”

If we can leave our calculator brain at the office for a moment, we can start to see how our wife’s reactions are EXACTLY what they are supposed to be.

Imagine how different you would respond if you really believed that her feelings were exactly what she was supposed to feel and she was reacting to them the best she could.

The 2nd mistake I see highly successful men make is we think our money, house, wife, and frequency of sex are confirmation of our success in life.

I fell into this category hard in my marriage.

The moment my cash flow, household, or love life changed, I was a frazzled wreck.

I expected my wife to “mommy” my frustration so I could feel strong enough to take on the world.

If we want an intimate, sexual relationship with a woman, we cannot make her our mommy.

When a man INTERNERALIZES his sense of confidence and well-being, he won’t react to his wife as David did, which drove love and affection right out of his relationship.

How Did David Save His Failing Marriage?

That evening, David sat in the living room.

For the first time in months, he ignored his work emails.

He thought about Chelsie’s words: “I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong or what I need.”

They hurt, but they also challenged him.

Could he see past his frustration and fear?

Could he show her, not tell her, that he cared?

David knew it wouldn’t be easy.

He’d have to face his fear of rejection and let go of control.

But if he approached her with empathy instead of criticism, maybe he could break through.

Maybe he could melt the icy wall between them.

He closed his eyes and pictured Chelsie’s smile.

He remembered the way her eyes lit up when he walked into the room.

That’s what he wanted to see again.

For the first time in months, he decided to stop pointing out what she did wrong.

Instead, he would SHOW her what he wanted their love to be.

His first step was to not react, but listen when she made small bids for conversation.

Within a few weeks, they were back to laughing and enjoying each other’s company!

How did David turn around his failing marriage?

Ask him and he’ll say –“I internalized my self-confidence & stopped fearing the woman I love”.

How To Become The Confidant Man Your Wife Needs

Over the last Three weeks, four of my 1:1 clients have told me, “Holy cow, my marriage has done a full 180!”

These are highly successful men who have learned how to not settle for the status quo while also not being a controlling jerk.

In my masculine confidence framework, I teach you how to be a man with a solid spine and a soft heart.

Book a free Get Grounded Now call and we’ll have an amazing 60 minute chat so I can better understand your situation and give you clear steps to take.

Stay grounded brother,

Garrett Prettyman

January 2, 2025
Why Won’t She Let The Past Go?
A client working to improve his marriage recently asked me, “Why won’t she let the past go”?

This article addresses how to deal with a wife or girlfriend who keeps bringing up the past.

The quote, “Do it right the first time so you never have to do it again” rings true for most men.

There’s nothing more satisfying than checking something off as complete…For good!

So it is understandable when we feel frustrated that our spouse brings up past issues.

Re-hashing the past can get under our skin when…
1. We’re made out as the “bad guy” even though we’ve apologized many times for the part we played.
2. She tells a version of the past that doesn’t accurately reflect our true intention or perspective of what happened.
3. We see there is absolutely nothing that can be done about what happened in the past
Why Won’t She Let The Past Go If We’ve Already Hashed Through It Many Times?

Your wife or girlfriend isn’t crazy.

There are 2 very logical reasons why she keeps bringing up the past.
1. She wants to feel seen, loved and cared for RIGHT NOW
2. She wants to feel your unflappable emotional safety, understanding, and solid masculine core AGAIN AND AGAIN
She doesn’t want to feel our confidence, leadership, and unflappable emotional safety just one time; She LOVES to feel it again, and again, and again, AND AGAIN…

When she’s in emotional turmoil and pain, she can’t get enough of you when you’re:
- Curious about her experience
- Still present with her
- Unshakable in your attitude
- A lighthouse through her uncertainty
- Empathetic to her state of feelings
Men like physical intimacy again and again; Whereas women like emotional intimacy again and again.

So bringing up the past is a way for her to feel the strength and consistency of your love over and over again!

How You Can Make Going Down Memory Lane With Her Positive

If we get defensive, critical, or lose our cool when our wife brings up the past we are leading a negative experience.

The same applies if we become quiet, withdrawn, or numb.

Her bringing up the past is a cry for love.

Imagine she is drowning in an ocean crying out for us to toss her a life vest.

If we stand on shore explaining to her why she’s overreaching, why she doesn’t have the story straight, or why she should just get over it, she will stop respecting us.

Women don’t want to be sexual with men they don’t respect, so how you handle this directly affects her desire to be intimate with you.

Around session 3 of my masculine confidence framework, my clients develop the ability to handle their wife’s drama with newfound confidence.

This skill is essential to feel confident in how you lead conversations with her, where in the past it might have turned into an argument or drama.

Most of us guys didn’t realize that her desire to feel our balls of brass and heart of gold comes through her complaints or bringing up the past.

You can be a different kind of man going forward.

You know my Masculine Confidence Framework is for you if…
- Your moods change when your wife’s moods change
- You find yourself arguing about the same stuff over and over
- You shut down or numb out to survive her chaos
- You’ve been hoping things will improve but years have gone by and she doesn’t even know if she loves you now
Fill out my Get Grounded Now Consultation Form if you would like to discuss how to move forward in this program.

Be grounded brother,

Garrett Prettyman
August 8, 2024
Can You Make Your Wife Love You Again?
This email explains how we can easily get caught up on surface-level issues in our marriage. Asking if you can make your wife love you again is a surface-level question. We can DO all the right things but that won’t attract our wife’s loving affection if we’re not BEING the kind of man who makes her feel emotionally safe and trusting. Below are three better questions to ask ourselves. These questions will help uncover underlying issues when our wife seems to have lost interest in us.

1. What Do Women Need To Feel In Love?

A few days ago, Google directed a man to my blog because he had a heartfelt question.

His question was, “Can you make your wife love you again?”

If you’ve ever wondered if your wife can love you again, you know how he must feel.

No doubt his story is much like yours or mine.

He remembers when his wife used to respond affectionately to his touch and smile when he entered the room.

Having an intimate and supportive relationship with her probably inspired him to work hard at his job and remain committed to the relationship.

But over the years, something changed.

A small peck on her cheek seems to annoy her now.

Placing his hand on her leg makes her tense up.

He’s met with excuses when he tries to initiate sex with her.

He hoped this was just a phase but over the months, it has only got worse.

Today, he’s wondering if she will ever love him enough to engage in the intimate, respectful, nurturing relationship he craves to have with her.

Asking if our wife can fall back in love with us is a surface-level question.

A deeper question is, “What do women need to feel in love?”

You see, we can DO all the right things in our relationship but if we make her feel disconnected, pressured, or criticized we can kiss intimacy goodbye.

Without a consistent experience of emotional safety and connection, she won’t feel enough trust to expose her intimate side.

2. What Limits You From Building Connection, Trust, & Emotional Safety With Your Wife?

It’s ironic how we, as guys, tend to answer this question the same.

We tend to focus on what needs to change about HER (like her state of limbo, irrational thinking, or emotional drama).

Another usual response is getting stuck on deciding if the relationship is worth our effort or not.

These common responses send a message to her that we can’t see past our own discomfort to connect with her feelings.

This makes us feel boyish and like a powerless victim to her.

It should go without saying that being a victim or acting boyish isn’t the path to building a better connection with our wife.

Criticizing her moods, arguing, walking on eggshells, and being resentful doesn’t help either.

When we look closer at ourselves, we might find even deeper issues.

When we look closer at ourselves, we might find even deeper issues.

Issues such as…
- Feeling like a failure
- Aversion to conflict
- A knee-jerk response to people-please
These deeper personal issues are what we need to focus on to unblock a meaningful emotional connection with our wife.

This connection is critical in a long-term relationship.

Without it, she won’t be able to trust herself to be soft and affectionate towards us.

3. What Is 100% In Your Control Right Now?

There are 3 zones in life…
1. What’s out of our control
2. What’s under our influence
3. What’s in our control
Happiness, confidence, clear boundaries, and mojo only come from staying focused on things 100% in our control.

Our wife’s feelings towards us are under our influence, not under our control.

Whenever I speak to a man who is frustrated, lonely, upset, rejected, or in panic mode, it’s because he’s been focusing on things that are either out of his control or only under his influence.

When I’m coaching a man who doesn’t know what to do next in his relationship (limbo) it’s usually because he hasn’t forged an internal masculine frame that is 100% in his control.

Our masculine frame is our blueprint to follow!

Although this sounds like simple advice, many of us didn’t know HOW to build a masculine frame that is 100% in our control before our marriage called for it.

A Call To Confidence

If we have a blueprint or a “compass” to follow, we will always know how to respond to things like being rejected for sex, marriage limbo, or the uncertainty of her feelings towards us.

Hint: Her timing or clarity of feelings is not a compass.

Last year, a man we’ll call John, joined one of my group courses where I teach my masculine confidence framework.

John was down in the dumps.

He and his wife hadn’t had sex in many months.

His wife was unsure if she could continue in their marriage of 25+ years.

6 weeks into the course, everything changed for John!

He learned how to have his own compass to follow even when his wife was withdrawn or emotional.

He learned how to give her emotional space without walking on eggshells around her.

Her passion for him returned and to this day, they are both loving a brand new version of their marriage!

When I take you through my masculine confidence framework, I train you to forge an internal locus of control.

This means you learn how to respond from the inside out instead of the outside in.

Being this kind of non-reactive man who can be comfortable in his own skin is the only version of yourself your wife can fall back in love with.

Would you like help identifying the underlining issues that are keeping your marriage stuck?

If so, then fill out my “Get Grounded Now” form for a free consultation.

Much Love Brother,

Garrett Prettyman
July 30, 2024
(Part 3) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid
This is part 3 of a 3-part series called “Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid” (Click HERE to read part 2). I’m about to share my personal experience. I hope you can learn from my mistakes and be all the wiser!

Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid If You Want To Turn It Around
1. Don’t use triggers to determine your behaviors, choices, or actions.
2. Don’t assume sacrifices and loyalty will win a woman’s heart (know how to value your differences instead).
3. Avoid holding out for her if she’s said, “I’m done”.
I know all too well what it’s like to love a woman who doesn’t want to be with you.

I also know what it’s like to love a woman who used to love you but no longer does.

In my early days, I used logic to try to attract a girl who clearly didn’t love me.

I believed that if I saved myself for her by not dating anyone else, she would end things with her boyfriend.

In my imagined fairytale, she would become my dream wife by falling in love with my devotion and abstinence from other women.

I demonstrated these traits to her by not dating any other girls for YEARS while she was dating other guys and seemingly not interested in me.

Despite her full knowledge of my interest, my years of availability for her never seduced her.

Even after my divorce, I waited a few years to date.

My reason was to work on my loneliness without feminine support and to grieve the loss of my marriage.

But if I’m honest, I also hoped my wife would come running back and I would still be available for her.

Over the last few years of doing men’s work, I’ve come to terms with a startling reality.

Women rarely are reattracted to men who hold out for her after she’s said, “I’m done”.

I’ve seen more of my clients save their marriage by divorcing her and moving on than by waiting around like a loyal puppy.

I’ve even seen this in my dating life.

Once you have a girlfriend, two more women almost always start chasing you.

When you’re solo with no girlfriend, you tend to go unnoticed by the ladies.

Being The Kind Of Man Women Chase

When we see women pursue a man who appears to be solo, it’s usually because he’s confidently leading a life of FREEDOM.

He’s doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants.

He doesn’t hold back because of fear.

He pushes the limits of what he can create in this life where other people would hesitate.

These are the guys we see solo sail the Pacific, get in a position of leadership or stand for a cause while everyone else plays it safe.

The lesson is clear.

Sitting at home waiting for our runaway wife to come back NEVER works.

Waiting is like getting our boat stuck on a sand bar.

She wants to be on a boat that’s going somewhere.

Being a martyr by enduring years without sex, weeks without meaningful conversation, or a job we hate is like sinking our boat in the sand

Being The Man Your Wife Would Cheat With

It goes without saying.

When a woman does have an affair, it’s never the man paying her bills or sharing her bed who she cheats with.

Yet what do we men tend to do when she pulls back and we want intimacy?

We try to spend MORE time with her, share MORE experiences with her, and talk about the relationship MORE with her.

Less is more.

Being the kind of man she would cheat with means we are living our own life.

In order to be this kind of man, we must STOP seeing her moods or affection as having any meaning about our value, integrity, or purpose.

Thinking we need her permission to live our life puts our balls in her purse and makes it hard for her to respect us.

We need to formulate our own script we operate by that makes us want to get out of bed every day and enjoy living.

Avoiding her emotions or stonewalling doesn’t count as getting out and living our own life.

I will help you clarify a new meaning for your purpose as a man in my masculine confidence framework.

Being a MAN is your inherent role on this earth.

Yet what that means has become hazy in our modern times.

In the course, we will help you get back to the primal roots of what it means to be masculine and what it means to be feminine.

The magic of attraction between masculine and feminine has existed for all of eternity.

You can tap into this magic by learning how to stay in your own pole (and let her be in hers).

Book a “Get Grounded Now“ consultation to learn more!

Your marriage could very well depend on it.

Much love brother,

Garrett Prettyman
July 23, 2024
(Part 2) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid
This is part 2 of a 3-part series about things to avoid in a failing marriage. (Click HERE to read part 1). I warned in the 1st part that this might be triggering to read. I’m about to turn up the heat, so prepare to have your beliefs challenged!

Men And Women Find Honor In Marriage Differently

In part one of this series, I said to avoid using triggers to justify our choices.

We learned changing our decisions every time we hear new advice or get a negative reaction from our wife accelerates the spiral to divorce.

Now let’s talk about the 2nd thing to avoid: Thinking sacrifices and loyalty wins a woman’s heart!

Ironically, disloyalty causes many divorces so it’s easy to think the opposite should be true.

For the most part, masculine values are not valued by others when present, BUT they are sorely missed when absent.

Loyalty is a perfect example.

Most women are not going to be burning with intimate passion for us just because we’ve remained sexually monogamous with her.

Paying bills is another example.

Paying bills on time probably won’t get us extra blow-jobs, BUT stop paying those bills and we’ll be met with her displeasure when the power gets shut off!

For some reason, when our wife says she wants out of the relationship, we assume she must not understand the depth of our love or loyalty for her.

We believe that by making her realize how much we care for her and how much we’ve sacrificed for her, we can win back her affection.

Logically, this makes sense to us.

For a man, the loyalty of a woman can largely influence our attraction towards her.

Many would refer to a faithful, loyal lady as a high-value woman.

The problem is women don’t find a sense of honor or self-respect from masculine values like men do.

In a feminine mind, she feels like she’s violating her own code of honor by committing to a man who she doesn’t have feelings for.

She feels as if she’s being unfaithful to her virtue by being intimate with her husband when she doesn’t feel attraction for him.

In her mind, ending a marriage can feel like she’s choosing honor, fidelity, and virtue.

It’s a masculine virtue to place a lot of our honor on following through on our word even if we don’t feel like it.

In movies when the superhero makes the ultimate sacrifice to save the world, we men instantly respect him for doing the hard thing.

For a woman, she gets that same sense of honor by aligning with her feelings in spite of her words.

Focus On Your Values And Let Her Have Hers

As soon as we try to hold women to the same standards we men find honor in, we set ourselves up for massive frustration.

I compare it to trying to shove a square peg in a round hole.

Here are some choices we have when a peg doesn’t fit in a hole…
1. Get mad at the peg
2. Blame the peg for being square
3. Only play with round pegs and avoid square ones
4. Force the square peg into the round hole (and destroy both in the process)
5. Accept the peg is square
Acceptance is the only path forward if we want to be happy while sharing this planet with women.

Acceptance is not the same as being a doormat.

Part of being masculine is to give others the space to make choices and to allow them to experience the sting of their choices.

If we’ve developed a people-pleasing approach, we can be tempted to smooth over the consequences of other people’s choices

If we pay for the neighbor’s window every time our son hits a baseball through it, he may never learn to hit baseballs away from house windows.

Our son will learn from the sting of his choice If he has to earn the money himself to pay for the window he broke!

The Secret In Marriage Is To VALUE Our Differences

As far as I can tell, women are here to stay so I choose to accept them how they come.

Personally, I LOVE how a woman’s body is the opposite of mine, especially during intercourse!

It took me a long time to accept that her inner world differs greatly from mine as well.

Learning to VALUE our differences is the only way we can build an abundant, happy life with our wife.

Look at what happens when we value the differences in her body.. it produces babies!

What was only 2 people becomes a family of 3, 4, or 5, Etc!

This same concept applies to our contrasting virtues.

A relationship greater than we could have created as a lone ranger becomes possible when we value her opposite way of thinking and feeling.

We can save a lot of frustration when we realize virtues that attract us to women are not the same virtues that attract women to men.

She can value that we’re steady, we can value that she changes.

She can value that we look ahead, we can value that she looks at the moment (and the past).

What A Woman Values From Her Husband In Marriage

I once watched a video about a study conducted with babies and their mothers.

The mother was placed on one end of the room, and the small child, barely old enough to crawl, was placed on the other end.

Between the mother and the child, a chair was placed to block the child’s path.

When the little boys reached the chair, they could see their mom on the other side.

The child would fuss a bit, then get busy trying to climb the chair, move the chair, or go through the chair.

Eventually, the little boys figured out how to get past the chair and reached their moms!

Then it was the little girl’s turn.

When the girls reached the chair, they too could see their mom on the other side.

However, the little girls didn’t try to move the chair, they just stood there and cried!

The story illustrates how men are fixers and women want to communicate where they are so they can be seen.

Our wife wants us to see her in her pain, in her confusion, in the messiness of life, and still love her for who she is.

Men are the watchers, and she craves to be seen by us to her core!

If we react to what emerges from her, or dismiss her feelings, she feels unloved and unvalued.

How To Look At Your Wife With New Eyes

Viewing our wife’s actions through the lens of our own expectations leads to frustration.

In my masculine confidence framework, I teach you how to keep your eyes on your own gauges for self-respect and self-honor.

I help you clarify fulfilling masculine standards you hold yourself to.

You become like a superhero who does the right thing knowing he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t.

Are you ready to become this kind of man in your marriage?

Fill out my “Get Grounded Now” form for a free consultation.

The path to being a better man starts here!

Much Love,

Garrett Prettyman
July 22, 2024
(Part 1) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

This is part 1 in a 3-part series. Fair warning. This might be triggering to read. Trust me when I say triggers need to be faced for relationships to improve. Keep reading to see how a man named Luke learned the hard way that triggers are not a guide for recovering a failing marriage. Also, notice how often Luke changes his mind as he’s met with new advice or his wife’s reactions. If you want to stop the downward spiral towards divorce, don’t be a “Luke”

Luke’s Wife Could Sense His Indecisiveness

3 Days ago.

That’s when Luke’s wife, Hailey, said the dreaded words, “I want a divorce”.

Luke’s world was turned upside down.

He knew their marriage had issues but he was shocked she would go so far as to divorce him.

Luke’s emotions overwhelmed him and he couldn’t keep the tears back.

He cried, begged, and pleaded for her to change her mind.

Nothing Luke said could sway Hailey’s decision.

Determined to keep the marriage together, Luke turned to Reddit for advice.

“If she wants divorce let her figure out the divorce paperwork on her own” several men advised.

Another man said, “If she wants to move out, let her do it herself”.

Luke followed this advice and told Hailey she was all on her own if she wanted to leave him.

Hearing this upset Hailey, but she resolved to move forward with divorce regardless.

A few days later, Luke read a free E-book about how to stop divorce.

The E-book strongly recommended showing leadership by taking charge of the divorce process.

The E-book claimed many women reconsider their desire for divorce when they witness their partner taking on a leadership role and meeting their needs.

Luke took this advice to heart and changed his approach towards divorce.

Luke told Hailey, “I’ve got moving vans and a storage unit rented, and will help you figure out the divorce paperwork”.

Hailey let out a huge sigh of relief.

With teary eyes, she said, “Thank you so much, Luke, that means a lot to me”.

Over the next few days, Luke stayed true to his word and helped Hailey pack her things and categorize their assets.

Luke Second-Guessed Himself

Luke could hardly sleep at night with his intense grief gnawing at his gut.

He loved Hailey dearly and helping her with the divorce process was tearing him up.

Luke turned to YouTube in the wee hours of the morning seeking advice on how he could save his marriage.

A popular influencer said something that resonated with him.

The influencer said, “A healthy relationship needs honest and vulnerable communication to grow deeper”.

This jumped out to Luke.

Over the years, Hailey had many times said, “I want to know what you’re feeling, why won’t you open up to me?”

Hailey also complained regularly about his aversion to conflict.

The next YouTube video Luke watched said, “The strength she craves is proven by your ability to stand up to her and set boundaries.”

Luke realized he was bulldozing his own feelings by helping Hailey with the divorce.

What do you think Luke did?

You guessed it, he once again changed his approach.

The very next day, he told Hailey, “I’m setting a boundary that I can’t help you with this divorce.”

Hailey’s eyes filled with frustration and she said, “This is why I’m divorceing you! I never know where you stand because you’re always changing your position!”

Luke replied, “No I don’t! You always make poor choices that put you in situations I don’t want any part of!”

Luke defended himself by explaining he was trying to be open with his feelings and stand up for himself like she had always wanted him to.

Hailey got up and said, “I’m staying at my friend’s house tonight. We’re done”.

How Luke Should Have Responded To His Failing Marriage

Avoid changing your mind because of a triggering, painful feeling.

Urgency and desperation are never good reasons to make big decisions, especially in a failing marriage.

Trust me when I say it’s better to confidently make the wrong choice and follow through than to keep changing our minds in search of the right choice.

Luke felt uncertain about how to respond to Hailey because he was using her responses to validate if his choices were correct.

He also didn’t know how to process grief on his own.

Luke needed to establish a clear personal code that he could follow confidently, regardless of Hailey’s choices.

Females are more tuned into our state of self-confidence than they are to the logic supporting our decisions.

If our behaviors are in flux each time a new perspective emerges, we demonstrate our intentions can be manipulated.

During separation or divorce, the need for consistency is irreplaceable.

Resist following every new bit of advice you hear and stick to your own code of conduct!

It’s okay to change our minds when we do it slowly and deliberately, not because we feel rushed or triggered.

How You Can Gain Clear, Decisive Thinking In A Failing Marriage

In my masculine confidence framework, I teach you how to sort preferences from values so you can hold yourself to a personal code no matter what.

Many men confuse stubbornness with confidence and wonder why they frustrate their wife when they try to hold their ground.

I will show you how to respond to your wife in a way that makes YOU feel good and opens her heart towards you.

Fill out a Get Grounded Now application so we can talk!

I can’t spoon-feed confidence to you, but you can show up to our call with a commitment to positive change as your first step to saving your failing marriage.

Much love brother,

Garrett Prettyman

July 19, 2024