When your wife senses a gap between your heart and sexuality, it makes it hard for her to soften.
Most boys have their first orgasm alone.
No lover, no heart-to-heart connection.
We experience love in our heart and desire in our cock, both separate from the other.
When these two things aren’t connected, we bring that same gap into the bedroom with our wife.
Below is a true story that shows how a gap between your heart and sexuality can make it hard for her to soften.
Tim & Connie Felt Alone Together
Tim is annoyed.
He’s taken on extra clients this month.
He’s worked long hours and saved enough to take his wife, Connie, to a beautiful Caribbean villa.
She doesn’t like the food.
The weather’s too humid.
Most of the time, she talks about a girls’ trip she impulsively books while they’re still there.
Now the vacation is over, and Connie’s off on that trip.
Tim is home alone.
He feels angry.
Resentful.
The least she could’ve done was thank him for trying so hard.
The weekend slips by.
He feels unseen.
Unvalued.
Alone.
Connie walks through the door Sunday night.
Tim’s sitting in bed, jaw clenched, watching her with disapproval.
He snaps in frustration.
“You need to prioritize us and stop running off with your friends,” he says.
She walks to the bed.
She looks at him.
Her eyes are soft.
Her face is radiant.
She’s beautiful.
Tim’s heart softens.
He can’t stay angry.
She slips her panties off and crawls on top of him.
Her hips rock back and forth.
Her spine bends and sways.
Tim gets hard.
She slides down and takes his cock into her mouth, sucking his frustration away.
For the first time in days, Tim feels his heart again.
He feels love again.
Connie matters to him again.
He flips her over and takes her nipple into his mouth.
He traces his tongue down her chest, lost in her body, ravished by her skin.
He stops noticing Connie’s face.
She’s uncomfortable, but he doesn’t see it.
He keeps going, focused on her breasts, oblivious to her shallow breathing.
Tim gets more turned on, but their connection is fading.
Connie goes along with it, letting him do what he wants.
She feels unseen.
Used.
Her body stiffens.
Tim senses something is off.
He rubs her pussy gently, trying to turn her back on.
Her body stiffens more.
“I’m not turned on,” she says.
Tim slips his cock inside her, hoping to bring back her desire.
She lets out a small moan.
He finishes.
Connie rolls to the wall, her heart a hundred miles away.
Tim falls asleep, feeling frustrated and alone.
Man’s Need For Feminine Energy
Feminine energy softens a man’s heart.
Problems arise when he depends on his wife’s softness alone.
The anger and resentment Tim feels melts away when his wife gets sexual with him.
But for her, it leaves her out in the cold.
A woman’s heart isn’t warmed by sex alone.
When she walks through the door and is met by his clenched jaw and silent frustration, it sets the stage for her to disconnect.
Tim’s cluelessness about how she’s feeling when they get physical makes her shut him out entirely.
How To Connect To Your Heart
There are many conduits for feminine energy in this world.
Porn might seem like one, but it’s just smoke and mirrors.
Real feminine energy is tangible.
It’s in the same room with you.
Things like:
- Nature
- Music
- A well-crafted meal
- A meaningful conversation
- Art
- Dance
When you bring your presence to these sources of feminine, they bring you back to your heart.
Don’t gulp your food.
Notice its texture.
Savor the taste.
Don’t rush through your day.
Stop and smell the roses.
When you stop relying on your partner as your only source of feminine energy, you stay connected to your heart—even if she’s feeling distant.
When It’s Hard For Her To Soften, Lean Into Your Presence
A woman softens when you remain present.
Present in mind, body, and heart.
This feels tricky at first..
Focus on your feelings and you might lose your erection!
The gap between our sexuality and heart runs deep.
Practice by simply directing your consciousness.
Direct your consciousness on how you feel while at the same time noticing how she feels.
Notice how your breathing feels, how your cock feels, etc.
When your brain starts to go offline from sexual arousal, bring your awareness back to your breath, her breath, her eyes, your body, and the energy between you.
SPREAD your awareness OUT.
Your Next Step When It’s Hard For Her To Soften
My masculine confidence framework teaches you how to be self-reliant in your state of well-being.
You’re connected to other sources of feminine energy so that you don’t feel lonely or sad whenever she pulls back.
You offer her compassion and understanding in those moments instead of criticism and then watch as that softens her back up!
This kind of presence can only be offered by a man who is confident in himself and clear about where he’s going in life.
