Masculine Confidence Framework

Category: Intimacy

The section contains vital blog posts for men looking to increase intimacy, affection, love, and a deeper connection in their marriage.

  • 6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom

    6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom

    I’m sure you want to be more bold in the bedroom, but you also don’t want to feel like a predator. The female mind possesses fantasies and secret desires waiting to be ravished! Timing is everything. This article and video helps you identify when to let your wild love-making loose.

    Do Women Desire Sexual Boldness?

    Women often secretly crave what they repress.

    In 2023, over 39 million romance novels were sold, with 82% of those purchases made by women.

    Romance novels depict scenes so erotic, even a sex coach would blush.

    The provocative narrative in these novels proves women DO have an intense desire to be seduced in bold, imaginative ways.

    As a man, you get turned on by your physical senses.

    What you see, hear, smell, and touch gets your passions fired up.

    You can easily assume that if your wife is not turned on, you just need to stimulate her.

    You might even think being more bold in the bedroom means using more toys or lube.

    While women do appreciate physical stimulation, it’s most enjoyable for her AFTER she’s turned on.

    This raises the question all men have asked, “What turns her on??”

    Well, it’s not the toys, lube, or vibrator…

    In the video below, I talk more about female arousal.

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    6 Signs She Would Like You To Be Bolder in the Bedroom

    Being Sexually Bold 24/7 Backfires

    Women desire romantic confidence from their partners, but not constantly.

    Shame around your sexuality does need to be resolved if you want to be more bold in the bedroom.

    You need to be confident with your body, warts and all.

    Being awkward with your lovemaking will shut her down.

    But if you boldly push your sexuality 24/7, it’s just as bad as shame or being awkward.

    Initiating sex takes confidence.

    Hitting the brakes if she isn’t receptive while maintaining playfulness takes MORE confidence.

    In a long-term relationship, your wife is turned on by how you handle her

    rejections, not by how well you can perform in bed.

    This made no sense to me when I first learned it.

    I thought being more bold in the bedroom meant being more fearless to initiate sex.

    Handling rejection in a positive way revolutionized my sex life.

    When you can call off your sexual pursuit while maintaining a non-needy vibe, her juices start to flow.

    How Desire for Physical Intimacy Builds Up In Women

    A woman’s desire builds through numerous intimate moments.

    Like “drips” filling a bucket, the bucket is eventually full of arousal.

    Women are vessels who accumulate their experiences internally.

    Have you noticed your wife always remembers the past?

    Her emotional experiences accumulate, one on top of the other, shaping how she feels right now.

    “Intimate moments” are things like:

    • Feeling valued
    • Feeling emotionally safe and connected
    • Feeling slight anxiety about our love for her (creates want)
    • Feeling a little left out (creates desire)
    • Feeling appreciated
    • Feeling teased
    • Feeling beautiful

    In my experience, when a relationship is NOT on the rocks, a woman will accumulate “intimate moments” into her bucket for about a week (or even two) before she starts to brim with erotic desire.

    Her brimming desire is a green light to be more bold in the bedroom!

    We men are so different!

    Show us a picture of a hot girl, and we’re turned on NOW.

    Women show signs when they’re ready for us to express our unbridled sexuality.

    Here are 6 Signs It’s Time To Be More Bold In The Bedroom:

    1. She’s blushing, avoiding eye contact, and fiddling with her hair
    2. She’s happily chatting for a very long time.
    3. She’s lingering around while occasionally brushing against you or touching your arm.
    4. She walks by with no pants or top, then lingers for no apparent reason.
    5. She shows you a craft or something she made, then hangs around like she’s waiting for a pat on the head.
    6. She faces you while she talks, and when you step closer, she doesn’t back up or turn to the side.

    Blushing is my favorite sign to be more bold in the bedroom.

    When she’s blushing, she’s literally so hot and bothered she can’t control herself.

    When you see these signs, hesitation will squander the moment.

    The moment she shows one (or more) of the signs above, cup her face and plant a long, hot kiss on her lips.

    If she’s receptive to the kiss, lead her into an amazing, intimate experience!

    If she isn’t receptive to your kiss, leave the room with a wink.

    Your level of arousal has zero bearing on her arousal.

    This is another thing that’s totally backwards between men and women.

    Most men are turned on by their lady getting turned on.

    Trust me, your raging hard on does nothing to get her turned on.

    Testing her because you’re horny is as annoying as a mosquito on a summer night.

    LET HER COME TO YOU with signs she’s ALREADY turned on before going for a long, hot kiss.

    How To Be More Bold In The Bedroom When Your Marriage Is Struggling

    If I could boil this whole article down to one sentence, it would be this: Your horniness is not the indicator of when it’s time to be sexually bold; her receptivity is.

    Self-evaluating questions to improve intimacy:

    • How good am I at not taking things personally so I can connect with where SHE is?
    • Can I see “no” as an indicator of HER state, not a statement about me?
    • Do I have clarity about how I love to behave regardless of how others behave?

    In our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course,” I give you the framework to be a confident, attractive man who’s going to be more bold in the bedroom.

    In the course, we teach you how to stop walking on eggshells with your amazing gift of sexual intimacy and to view yourself as the prize.

    This course is taught LIVE so you get specific coaching for your situation.

    When a relationship is on the rocks, it’s time to face your fears, shame, insecurities, and triggers and stop trying to “fix” what’s frustrating about your partner.

    Until you face your own issues, you’re not in a position to lead the relationship to a better place.

    Be the sexually bold man she can’t rattle.

  • How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    I’ll show you how to make your wife want you again by becoming a version 2.0 of yourself. Women respond to the energy you bring into the relationship. Below is a video with examples from the TV show “Vikings” to illustrate the kind of energy your wife can’t resist.

    Focus On Causes, Not Symptoms

    Every day, I speak to men in a desperate spot. 

    They sincerely want to save their failing marriage, but everything they do seems to backfire.  

    I know how easy it is to hyper-focus on everything that’s “wrong” in your relationship.

    You’ll assume what’s “wrong” is preventing your marriage from turning around. 

    The problem with this approach is you’re trying to resolve symptoms, not causes. 

    • Lack of affection/no sex
    • Poor communication
    • Blaming attachment styles
    • Love language frustrations
    • Emotional coldness/withdrawal
    • Her inability to be respectful or do self-improvement

    The list above is symptoms, not root causes.

    I say it all the time, “Love covers a multitude of sins”.

    When your wife feels attracted to you, she overlooks the annoyances (and so do you).

    The level of personal happiness and fulfillment you feel outside of marriage determines how you’ll eventually feel inside the marriage.

    The degree to which you can create an amazing life without your wife determines the degree to which you can create one with her.

    If you’re not emotionally secure enough to let her go, you’re not emotionally secure enough to have her. 

    These are the kinds of insecurities and root causes that cripple a relationship. 

    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again If She Wants Space

    If your wife wants space, that means she doesn’t want to manage your needs for you.

    She’s tired.

    She wants to feel a SPARK when she’s around you, not obligation.

    Watch my video below to see how a woman’s feelings change when her man gets his spark back. 

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    How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

    One of the most effective ways to attract a woman is to let her go. 

    She wants to have the freedom to CHOOSE you.

    How do you give her that freedom?

    By letting her have the option to NOT choose you.

    A man without an inspiring life mission will see his wife as his source of happiness.

    She becomes his purpose for living. 

    You can’t let her go if you can’t imagine living an amazing life without her. 

    I know this seems backwards.

    You probably think your inability to live an amazing life without her is proof of your love for her.

    But it’s the opposite for her.

    Your partner is not wired to be responsible for her happiness AND yours. 

    A huge burden is lifted off her shoulders when you have a life that’s so energizing that your spark, charisma, excitement, joy, and inspiration are full regardless of what she does.

    How A Viking Reattracted His Lover

    In the video, I point out how Rollo wallows in his self-pity, victim mindset, and lack of purpose.

    These behaviours make Siggy lose her attraction for him. 

    Rolo blames his brother, his ex-lover, the gods’, and everyone else for his life. 

    For a time, he tries to demand respect and love from others.

    This quickly makes his situation worse.

    I realize this story is made up, but it mirrors what I see with men I work with. 

    Again and again, I’ve seen my client’s wife circle back after he gets clear, excited, and motivated by his positive future to the point that he lovingly lets her go.

    These men grew until they:

    • No longer resisted the divorce process.
    • No longer needed to “be right”.
    • No longer needed her mood be different for him to be ok.
    • Could unshakably trust in his own ability to create the experiences he wanted.
    • Accepted that she is on her own journey of personal growth and is progressing at her own pace.
    • Stopped “fighting for the marriage.”

    In the video, Siggy suddenly became re-attracted to Rollo because his spark brought energy to the relationship.

    That’s the opposite of needing the relationship to give him energy.

    She wanted to feel ALIVE. 

    Women move towards what makes her feel ALIVE.

    You get to take the lead and demonstrate what feeling alive looks like. 

    Your partner is wired to respond to the energy you bring into your relationship.

    Your vibe, tone, and look in our eyes do all the talking.

    How To Get Your Wife Back If Your Spark Is Gone

    Getting your wife back won’t happen until you get your spark back.

    When I take a man through my Masculine Confidence Framework, I’m giving him the foundation for who HE is.

    I give you clarity on HOW to be YOURSELF your relationship.

    You’ll emerge from this framework with personalized, unflappable self-trust and inner security.

    You read that right. 

    YOUR masculine frame is not going to consist of the same values or operating principles as the next guy. 

    My coaching challenges YOUR pain points, YOUR perspectives, and YOUR excuses. 

    An interesting study revealed how high testosterone doesn’t necessarily equal high female attraction.

    What the researchers discovered was that low levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) had more of an appealing effect on women than high testosterone did.

    You don’t need to be more “macho” for your wife to want you.

    You need to be more comfortable in your own skin, more OK, and more relaxed to face what needs to be faced.

    If you’re ready to have your brain rewired so you can make decisions quickly, know how to be with feminine emotions, and live as a man with an inspiring purpose, then let’s talk.

    I promise you’ll gain clarity on how to make your wife want you again without being fake or manipulative.

  • Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    Are you pointing a finger at your wife for your sexless marriage? Don’t blame her until you take a hard look in the mirror, brother. When your wife emotionally and sexually withdraws, you can find yourself in the depths of despair and heartache. I know a sexless marriage wasn’t what you signed up for. But wallowing in resentment and blame doesn’t create intimacy. Let Chris’s story below be your roadmap back to confidence and intimacy.

    How Did Chris End Up In A Sexless Marriage?

    Meet Chris.

    Chris is known for his remarkable kindness and for always going the extra mile to please others. 

    He has a gentle soul, and conflict is his sworn enemy. 

    He would do anything to avoid confrontation and prides himself on being a peacemaker.

    Chris’s marriage to his wife, Sarah, started off blissfully. 

    They were deeply in love and seemed to have a fairytale relationship. 

    As time passed, Sarah began to feel a growing disconnect. 

    Chris’s unwavering niceness became suffocating, and his fear of conflict prevented open communication between them.

    Rather than leading an emotional connection with Sarah, Chris would walk on eggshells, hoping not to upset her.

    In their intimate life, Chris’s insatiable sexual neediness further strained their relationship.

    He constantly sought validation and reassurance, often pressuring Sarah for physical intimacy. 

    His desperation for connection had unintentionally pushed Sarah away, and she no longer felt the same attraction she once had.

    Sarah longed for a partner who could stand up for himself, express his desires and needs, and engage in honest conversations. 

    She craved a sense of balance, where both partners were able to communicate their feelings openly, even if it meant occasional disagreements.

    Feeling the growing distance, Sarah contemplated the state of their marriage. 

    She realized that if things continued as they were, both of them would suffer. 

    Sarah knew deep down that Chris’s innate kindness was genuine, but it was overshadowed by his fear of conflict and his inability to assert himself.

    She wanted to feel attracted to Chris, but an unexplainable pressure kept her from feeling anything but disgust whenever she was around him.

    Though she hated to think of it, Sarah knew deep down that the only way she could have the relationship she wanted was to leave Chris. 

    Does Avoiding Conflict Lead To A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her If She’s Turned Off By It

    Chris’s wife wasn’t trying to punish him by withholding intimacy.

    Even she felt confused why her body shut down around him.

    Jump forward 24 months.

    Chris and Sarah’s marriage only worsened. 

    Sarah had come to terms that she didn’t want to be with Chris and told him she wanted a divorce. 

    Chris was devastated. 

    Determined to change, he embarked on a journey of self-improvement.

    Chris sought mentorship to explore his own insecurities and learn healthier ways of expressing his needs

    Through self-reflection and guidance, he began to strike a balance between being kind and standing up for himself. 

    He discovered that true strength lies not in avoiding conflicts but in being unshakable in his self-esteem, boundaries, and personal values. 

    Over time, the dynamic between Chris and Sarah started to shift!

    Chris was living from a more masculine frame, and it evoked something primal in Sarah.

    Their conversations became more honest and open as they learned to communicate their desires and concerns without reacting from a place of neediness, insecurity, or fear. 

    Chris’s newfound self-assuredness and willingness to engage in constructive dialogue reignited the spark in their relationship.

    As they grew together, Chris learned the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between kindness and assertiveness. 

    He discovered that intimacy blossoms when his vibe feels safe and grounded.

    Sarah felt comfortable sharing her feelings with him again.

    In a word, it was Chris’s newfound confidence with emotions that drew her in.

    Your Chance To Restore Intimacy

    Did the story of Chris & Sarah sound familiar?

    Learn the key building blocks to become an attractive, happy, CONFIDENT man who women can’t resist in the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

    Watch this video for a sneak peek into the benefits men are gaining in this course!

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    Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

    If you’re action-oriented, serious about making permanent changes in your mojo, relationships, sex life, and work life (and have a sense of humor), then you should join this course.

    Over the years, I’ve appreciated the research into intimacy Esther Perel has done.

    In her article, “Are Taboos Holding Your Relationship Back?” she reminds us how familiarity breeds loss of desire.

    Let this truth relax your anxious mind that when something NEW comes out of you, something NEW will come out of the relationship.

    Have A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her… Focus On Being A Man You’re Proud Of
    Your love story can take a new turn.

    Your relationship can be stronger and more passionate than ever when you stop trying to please her and focus on rebuilding your self-confidence.

    You can learn how to give her space without losing her.

    You can use a season of no intimacy to dig deeper into being a more self-reliant man.

    Why?

    Because feminine can’t help but be attracted to a self-reliant, confident man!

    And hey, you know that feels good:)

    In my coaching, I can give you highly personalized guidance to rebuild your attractive masculine energy.

  • Sexless Marriages: Why She Won’t Touch You

    Sexless Marriages: Why She Won’t Touch You

    Sexless marriages… women’s moods… irrational behavior… it’s easy to get frustrated with ladies! This article takes a peek under the hood of feminine affection and reveals why her sensual desire seems so fickle at times.

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    Sexless Marriage: Unraveling The Fragile And Elusive Erotic Desire Of Women

    Feminine Love Is Mostly Narcissistic

    I’m not trying to bash women when I say their love is mostly narcissistic.

    And guess what?

    Sexless marriages are not women’s fault.

    You wanting sex when she doesn’t, doesn’t make her the one with the problem.

    But yes, your wife’s sexuality is narcissistic.

    Click HERE to watch a short video by Esther Perel.

    Esther has been studying infidelity and sex in long-term relationships for many years.

    If you’re thinking, “Narcissistic, that’s toxic!” Don’t pull the eject lever yet, brother.

    Feminine and masculine are polar opposites.

    A LOT of how women work will seem backward to how you are wired.

    When I was a young boy going through puberty, I fantasized how my man parts could make a girl fall in love with me if I let her see it fully erect.

    Real life was a wake-up call.

    You and I both know that when a woman is not turned on, your hard-on does not make her want you.

    Why?

    Because her intimate desire only orbits around how SHE feels, not how you feel.

    I’ve learned to accept that what a woman loves when she is turned on is not what turns her on.

    But there’s a secret!

    Her biology turns on from specific masculine traits.

    And those traits aren’t your manhood hanging between your legs, your bank account, or your car.

    There are two kinds of experiences she needs for her body to desire your physical intimacy.

    On the one hand, she needs to sense you as a grounded, secure, confident, protective, and competent man. One who keeps her safe when she’s emotionally, physically, and mentally the most vulnerable. You have full control over this!

    On the other hand, SHE needs to feel connected, desirable, attractive, and delicious all on her own totally separate from you. You have no control over this.

    As Esther Perel says, “A woman who cannot make love to herself cannot receive love from others”. 

    And, that’s where we men get frustrated…

    We see her spiraling into coldness and moods, and wish we could shake her out of it.

    So what should men in sexless marriages do?

    Your demands won’t help, but your sensitivity to how she must feel can.

    Especially In Sexless Marriages, Women’s Love Is Sensitive

    Think of your partner’s affection like a bubble.

    In the early stages of a relationship, everything was soft and yummy.

    Her love grew like a soft, thin, delicate bubble filled with affection and desire.

    Then she got her period.

    You left the toilet seat up.

    The bubble started to pop.

    But you kissed, made up, made love, all was good again, right?

    Wrong.

    Sex makes a man feel more connected, but no amount of lovemaking can resolve buried feelings in your wife.

    Women are responders in their nature.

    Responders to her FEELINGS.

    And what did we do with those feelings?

    We explained them away.

    Defended our point of view.

    Or avoided them altogether, hoping they would go away.

    They didn’t.

    Her feelings festered in her.

    They rotted.

    Now she feels gross each time we walk by.

    See why so many couples end up in sexless marriages?

    There is a better way to handle this dynamic.

    It starts with understanding how men and women are different.

    Women Are Like Cats, Men Are Like Dogs

    Corey Wayne came up with the cat/dog analogy to compare men to women.

    I love this point of view because it’s so relatable!

    Both species make good pets.

    Both can be affectionate.

    Cats are more elusive, though.

    Cats won’t obey, purr, sit still, or “stay” unless they feel like it.

    Dogs are very loyal and are quick to forget about yesterday.

    Cats are always suspicious of your intentions and only come close when they feel the right vibes with you.

    Dogs are ready to pick up the fun right where they left off, regardless of how bad the day was.

    Can you relate to any of these experiences with your partner?

    In sexless marriages, the woman is mirroring back to the man how it feels to be around him.

    She doesn’t plan it out.

    Her body does this automatically.

    If you’re showing up 100% as the confident, MAN in the relationship who is inspired, fulfilled, outcome non-dependent, and happy, then this is just how she’s going to be with you.

    However, most men are walking on eggshells, trying to make her happy, and sacrificing themselves instead of staying in their masculine frame when the marriage is struggling.

    If the latter version sounds like you, then your marriage has hope.

    When you change for the better, she will probably respond very positively to that.

    Sexless Marriages Call For A Clear Masculine Frame

    Masculinity coach Mark Drezga and I teach a Confidence Course that will get you thinking, responding, and talking like a grounded, attractive man.

    Learning how to be masculine in relationships will completely change your sex life, work life, and social life!

    If you’re ready to pull out the big guns and fully rewire your brain for life-long transformation, consider my 1:1 mentorship.

    My private coaching will be the most life-changing investment you’ve ever made for yourself.

    Sexless marriages are the perfect place for men to get the biggest results from doing this work.

    Forging masculinity in the total absence of feminine support and affection is the only way it sticks.

    Make good use of this time, brother,

  • Polarize Her Desire: Techniques for Men to Build Sexual Energy

    Polarize Her Desire: Techniques for Men to Build Sexual Energy

    Your wife’s primal sexual passions are activated when you polarize her desire. And the level of pleasure you can experience with her is proportional to the level of uncomfortable feelings you can face. This article is about how to polarize her desire by holding still under emotional tension (even when it feels uncomfortable).

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    Polarizing Her Desire: Techniques for Men to Build Sexual Energy

    Polarize Her Desire At The Right Time

    Your relationship is like a garden.

    Trying to sprout beans in the dead of winter is a fool’s run.

    If your wife is asking for space, this is the wrong time to apply the advice you’re about to read.

    Go read my post, “How To Give Your Wife Space Without Losing Her” to get clear on what you can do instead.

    If your relationship is in the daily grind, feels mundane, or needs a jump-start, keep reading!

    Playful Tension Will Polarize Her Desire

    Men are attracted to beauty.

    Women are attracted to strong safety.

    It’s not your ability to beat up bad guys or wrestle tigers that I’m talking about.

    When I say, “strong safety,” I’m talking about how you handle emotions.

    • When you’re direct instead of beating around the bush, your woman knows you can handle someone’s verbal assaults on her
    • When you step up and sort the schedule, decide where to eat, and have a plan for the day, she feels like she can trust you to take the wheel when she needs a break
    • When she sees you can stay present even when she’s being emotional, she knows you can control your impulses (which builds trust)
    • When you listen to her accusations without getting defensive, she knows you don’t just care about yourself, you care about her too

    Holding strong under emotional tension will polarize her desire towards you.

    This means FACING the conversations, the conflicts, and the emotional messiness of relationships, not avoiding it.

    And sometimes she just needs your humor to guide her out of her complicated world of overanalysis and feelings.

    There can be no sense of erotic play without the energy of tension!

    One thing to notice is when you “leak” energy instead of letting it build.

    Bouncing your leg releases energy.

    So does talking fast, looking away, or laughing.

    I’m not saying you should never laugh, but notice when you laugh because something is funny vs trying to deflect energy.

    Letting energy build between you and your partner makes her skin tingle.

    Get playful with that energy, and it increases her sexual pull towards you.

    Leaking energy communicates that you can’t handle her and won’t polarize her desire.

    A woman will struggle to let herself go in the bedroom with a man she feels can’t handle her.

    How I Failed & Succeeded At Building Playful Tension

    As I’m typing this, I’m on a plane.

    An old man just walked down the aisle towards me.

    He noticed my blanket had fallen into the aisle.

    With a very somber face, he picked it up and placed it on the seat next to me.

    His frustration was thick in the air, so I laughed and said, “Oops!”

    The old man glared back, unimpressed.

    Here’s why my laugh was unnecessary: I was chuckling because I was uncomfortable with his sour emotion.

    Other people’s emotions are not mine to manage!

    He can have his sour emotion; it’s not my job to deal with that for him.

    So hey, I’m a recovering nice guy just like you.

    The nice guy goes through his day trying to smooth out the emotional tension that other people create.

    Even though that story was an example of what NOT to do when allowing tension to build, I do have success stories too 🙂

    The other day, I was on a date with an attractive woman.

    She talked…A LOT.

    One thing I’ve learned about women is that they only talk a lot to people they like, so I took it as a compliment.

    So I..

    • Stayed present
    • Held eye contact
    • Teased her a little and felt the tension building between us
    • Held the tension
    • Didn’t laugh it away, bounce my leg, or change the topic
    • I stayed present and let the tension build between us

    In fact, I slowed down and stayed facing her, letting her be the first to break eye contact.

    Holding energy like this is porn to women.

    I watched it polarize her desire for me.

    You could cut the sexual tension between us with a knife.

    A few hours later, we were at her place, making hot love in the bedroom.

    Women crave to let go! To expand. To be taken.

    Her body can’t do that if she senses your energy is nervous, flighty, or needy.

    It takes inner confidence to sit with tension.

    She’s turned on by the emotional strength it takes to hold tension.

    Two Ways To Hold Tension That Builds Sexual Desire

    1. Breathe into your balls to relax.

    2. Develop the mindset of a confident man.

    Breath work can be as simple as pulling your stomach out when you inhale.

    I like to picture that I’m inflating my balls when I inhale.

    This kind of deep breathing grounds and relaxes our bodies.

    Any time we have constriction in our body, we’re blocking our energy flow.

    Masculine energy is open, relaxed, and broad.

    It should feel unopoligetic, but present and tuned into the moment.

    That undistracted presence is what polarizes her desire for intimacy.

    Masculinity coaches G.S Youngblood and Doctor Greg Wells both teach how daily breathwork can increase your resilience to stress and regulate your nervous system.

    Make breathing your #1 priority when feeling tension or anxiety building between you and your partner.

    Don’t try to figure out what to say to her, just keep facing her while taking deep breaths.

    Let your silence build positive tension.

    Breathing is always in the PRESENT.

    Being in the NOW displays that you can stop to open your heart, even though everything else in life is calling for your attention.

    Developing the mindset of a confident man is more of a process.

    Most of what’s taught to us in movies and culture leads us to think others are making us feel how we feel.

    A confident man understands what he feels is his own creation based on his current perspective.

    Your power is that you can choose a new perspective when your feelings get buzzing.

    In my story above, I could have thought, “Why won’t this woman shut up? She’s been talking for a solid hour!!”

    Or, I could decide to think, “Women talk to guys they like. This is a compliment.”

    Same situation.

    Different mindset.

    The Next Step To Polarizing Her Desire

    This article is just the tip of the iceberg.

    I teach men a whole lot more when I take them through my private coaching program.

    Re-wiring your brain requires a serious commitment to change.

    Polarizing her desire is a natural byproduct of healthy self-esteem, grounded energy, and confident behaviors.

    I’m ready to meet your level of commitment.

  • Menopause: What Men Need To Know To Save Their Marriage

    Menopause: What Men Need To Know To Save Their Marriage

    Let’s talk about menopause: What men need to know can save a lot of frustration. This article is like receiving the puberty talk before your voice changes. It’s nice having a heads-up before everything in your life shifts. It’s also an uncomfortable topic that’s easy to put off. Further down is a video from a man who has successfully navigated menopause with his wife. Pay attention to his advice. Your marriage might depend on it. 

    Menopause: What Men Need To Know (But Nobody Is Saying)

    At 9 years old, I loved technology.

    I came across a Radio Shack ad for a control module.

    It could turn on any appliance with a cord!

    I wanted one. 

    I saved up that summer, went to Radio Shack, and bought the control module. 

    Feeling ecstatic was an understatement!

    After I opened the box, I quickly realized I had been misguided. 

    Every outlet in the house had to be equipped with a receiver for the system to work. 

    I was so bummed. 

    The full system was way out of budget for a 9-year-old. 

    Why hadn’t the salesmen at Radio Shack informed me? 

    Why wasn’t the ad clear that upcoming purchases were necessary to use the module?

    Men sat at your wedding who knew something shocking.

    They watched you pledge your love to a woman… and they stayed silent.

    You thought you were signing up for a lifetime of romantic intimacy with the exact woman who stood before you. 

    Maybe these men didn’t want to douse the spark in your eye. 

    Maybe they thought they were alone in their experience.

    Here’s the shocking thing these men knew: Your wife would go through an unavoidable metamorphosis and become a totally different person… Menopause!

    I’m calling in an expert to give us the facts straight.

    In the video below, men’s coach Charlie McKeever shares how he saved his marriage from menopause. 

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    Menopause – What Men Need To Know (But Nobody Is Saying)

    Menopause: What Men Need To Know When She Acts Different

    The stages leading up to menopause can be a 10-year span called perimenopause. 

    For most women, perimenopause starts in their mid-40s. 

    You might be thinking, “So what, her period gets irregular or something?” 

    Think again.

    Remember how much your body changes going through puberty?

    Imagine going through puberty again to have everything reversed.

    That’s what it’s like for her. 

    Every man is well aware of how sensitive and changing a woman’s moods are when she’s on her period…

    Underlying issues in your relationship she’s been sweeping under the rug boil over during this time. 

    Perimenopause challenges your standards, boundaries, and self-reliance to your own happiness in ways you’ve never been tested before. 

    She’ll need you to be confident and emotionally present, not for the weekend…FOR THE LONG HAUL!

    Can Hormone Therapy Help Menopause Symptoms?

    Hormone therapy can absolutely help your wife through her life transition.

    So can supplements and being supportive.

    If you feel like your marriage is in the throes of menopause, I encourage you to reach out to Charlie by clicking HERE. He can mentor you through the stages every man must learn while your wife goes through menopause.

    Telling your wife she needs hormone therapy isn’t the magic pill.

    She needs you to be the rock during this time of change.

    Being a confident man who doesn’t seek his wife’s approval and leads the relationship is the type of man you should be, regardless. 

    Masculine finds purpose in momentum. 

    We like to see progress, goals reached, and checklists completed. 

    When you stop reacting to your wife, she feels huge relief.

    As her moods change, you need to be steady.

    You need a frame.

    You need personal standards for yourself.

    Menopause: What men need to know is that it’s not a matter of IF but WHEN.

    Guys who have already become the rock in their relationships (before menopause strikes) won’t take her moods personally.

    He won’t beg, argue, complain, or sulk when she’s having a bad day.

    He’s understanding when she’s not down for sex.

    He’s the lighthouse that leads her home.

    That’s what a great man does for his wife. 

  • Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy (And How to Fix It)

    Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy (And How to Fix It)

    Many men, after being married to their wives for 18+ years, are wondering why she’s pulling away from intimacy. Is she ok? Am I ok? Are we ok? These are the thoughts of a frustrated, rejected husband. Let’s unpack what’s going on in this 3rd installment of my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.

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    End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent

    Secret# 3: End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent.

    (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX)

    Matthew’s Advances Fell Flat

    The sun was out, the weather was perfect, and Matthew felt good.

    If the sky stayed clear, he’d finish painting the house.

    Even better, his wife, Amy, would be home soon from her graveyard shift.

    They had plans for coffee together, a rare moment of connection after ten days of barely seeing each other.

    But Matthew wasn’t just excited for coffee; he was horny.

    The thought of getting tangled up with Amy before they left made him smile.

    Then Amy walked in.

    No hello.

    No eye contact.

    Just walked right past him.

    Matthew followed her into the bedroom, hopeful.

    She let out a deep sigh.

    He stepped behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and groped.

    Amy stepped away.

    She walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

    The Reason Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy Isn’t What You Think

    Thirty minutes later, Matthew and Amy sat in silence at a coffee shop.

    Matthew was irritated.

    He’d had his mind set on sex, and it hadn’t happened.

    Amy was even quieter than usual.

    Trying to fill the dead air, Matthew talked about his plans to finish painting.

    A tear slid down Amy’s cheek.

    “Why are you crying, Amy?” he asked, setting his coffee down.

    Amy stared off.

    “Come on, Matthew. You should know me well enough by now. I shouldn’t have to say.”

    Matthew replayed the morning in his mind.

    What had he missed?

    Amy finally broke the silence. “I need you to care about me.”

    Her voice was as cold as her untouched coffee.

    Matthew was stumped and annoyed!

    Didn’t he just try to have sex with her an hour ago?

    Didn’t that prove he cared?

    “Maybe you just need some sleep,” he suggested.

    Amy shook her head, eyes narrowing. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do.”

    Matthew clenched his jaw.

    His patience was thin.

    “This is BS,” he thought.

    Arms crossed, determined to defend himself, he snapped: “Well, I do care about you, so I don’t know what your problem is.”

    Amy turned her face as another tear ran down her cheek.

    Pro Tip: If Matthew had simply said, “I hear you. What else are you feeling?” he could’ve stopped this crash before it happened. A woman’s words aren’t a conclusion; they’re the tip of the iceberg to something else she’s feeling.

    How Matthew Made Matters Worse

    That evening, Matthew was feeling better.

    The house painting had gone great.

    But he was still horny as hell.

    Amy slept most of the day.

    Even now, she was curled up in bed.

    Matthew stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, and slid under the sheets next to her.

    He kissed her neck.

    She barely responded.

    “Come on, Amy. I’m gonna sleep like shit if we don’t have sex.”

    Amy sighed… that long, exhausted sigh Matthew had grown to hate.

    “Okay, fine. Just do your thing.”

    This was the kind of sex they had been having lately.

    Matthew hated it.

    Amy hated it.

    But here’s what Matthew didn’t understand: his need to relieve his horniness was all Amy could feel from him.

    Pro Tip: Your wife wants to feel your sexual desire, not your sexual neediness. There is a difference!

    If you don’t understand why she’s pulling away from intimacy, it’s time to notice the energy you bring to the room.

    A man full of sexual desire is playful, can tune into the present moment, and can create emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.

    Women love this guy!

    A man full of sexual neediness is laser-focused on getting to orgasm.

    He counts the days since they last had sex.

    He tries to get his wife to feel sorry for him when they don’t have sex.

    Women can’t stand this guy.

    How Matthew Fixed the Intimacy Issues in His Marriage

    If your marriage is like Matthew’s, there are some things you need to STOP doing.

    Stop doing things like:

    • Needing to be right.
    • Using her body as an outlet to get off
    • Trying to rationalize her into having sex
    • Getting upset when she’s not in the mood
    • Insisting she’s doing something wrong to you when she turns away

    That conversation Matthew and Amy had at the coffee stand?

    That could have led to an intimate moment.

    Matthew only needed to hold space for Amy to sort out her feelings with him.

    But he didn’t.

    He reacted, and she shut down.

    Tears indicate that there is more she wants to share, but she doesn’t feel safe to.

    Never mistake this cue.

    The reason why she’s pulling away from intimacy isn’t the first reason she says.

    If your woman’s eyes get glossy, she wants to open up; if only you could handle it.

    Thankfully, Matthew realized this cycle would destroy his marriage and got help.

    He found a mentor who guided him.

    And that’s when everything changed.

    He stopped letting his horniness override his awareness of how Amy was feeling.

    He learned to create a connection in moments that used to trigger his defensiveness.

    Amy felt his presence again.

    She felt his sexual desire, not his sexual neediness.

    And that’s when intimacy started to flow naturally again.

    Your Next Step If She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy

    You can’t hold space for another if you’re not rock-solid in yourself.

    The confidence you display when your wife pulls back is what attracts her to get close again.

    You can gain the same attractive masculine energy Matthew achieved in our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

    Join an amazing group of men and learn to lead intimacy in marriage with confidence!

    If you’re ready to break free from frustration, rebuild attraction, and restore the deep, passionate intimacy you once had with your wife, then it’s time to step up. 

  • What To Do If Your Wife Never Wants Sex

    What To Do If Your Wife Never Wants Sex

    If your wife never wants sex, there is an attraction problem, not a performance problem. Sure, hormones and life stages can have an effect, but your wife is a sexual person when she feels attraction. You’re about to read two stories. They will help you understand how attraction works in a long-term relationship.

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    Emergency Video For Husbands Not Having Intimate Sex

    Bass, Sunshine, Mosquitoes, and Sex…

    A fly just flew in through my front door.

    There’s a rainstorm brewing outside.

    Flies are extra clingy in this weather, especially this one.

    It’s landed on my arm and wiggled into my hair several times.

    It won’t leave me alone.

    I want to kill it.

    I feel my whole body closing up as I get angry.

    It’s buzzing on my head, and I’m ready for war.

    If your wife never wants sex, don’t be a fly.

    Your horniness can feel annoying when it’s buzzing all over her, trying to “get some”.

    Her body closes, and she can’t get aroused.

    A mature man understands that his horniness is his to manage.

    Your horniness (along with your emotions) are not your wife’s responsibility to take care of.

    Don’t agree?

    You can have your own opinion.

    You might say, “It’s a wife’s responsibility to take care of her husband’s sexual needs”.

    Keep that belief, watch intimacy dry up, or keep reading.

    Don’t Be A Mosquitoe If Your Wife Never Wants Sex

    We talked about flies.

    Now, let’s talk about mosquitoes.

    I think you know where this is going, lol.

    Here’s the story…

    Years back, I hiked to a remote lake before sunrise.

    I planned to bass fish from shore… cast a few lines in, take a swim, and soak up some sun.

    The sun rose, and the bass started biting!

    Then something else started biting.

    Mosquitoes.

    Millions of them.

    I tried to cover up every inch of my body. 

    My bare hand on the reel got slaughtered.

    Did I want to rip my shirt off and go for a swim?

    Hell no!

    The sun was out and everything.

    But not a shred of me wanted my skin exposed to those blood-sucking little bastards.

    Back to your wife never wanting sex… are you poking her like a mosquito, wondering why she keeps her skin covered?

    Your wife always has the proper juices to desire physical intimacy with you.

    But, when you pelter her with your needs, you’re shooting your own foot.

    • The need to be right
    • The need to get off
    • The need to know why
    • The need to be chosen
    • The need to have her get clear

    These needs feel like a thousand mosquitoes under the sheets.

    Any wonder her body isn’t responding to your touch?

    How To Be A Man Your Wife Can’t Get Enough Of

    Seduction tactics and advice for attracting women for dates will not work on your wife!

    There is a proven process for being the kind of man who is attractive in a long-term relationship vs dating. 

    It’s 14 steps of deep masculine development.

    You go from being a nice guy to being a confident husband.

    You become unapologetic about your sexuality and how to manage your own needs.

    Be amazed at how your wife changes when you remove the flies and mosquitoes!

    But it’s not just about acting differently around her; it’s about changing your relationship with your needs.

    The inside work is what matters most.

    No mask or faking it will fool your wife of many years.

  • Why Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex

    Why Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex

    Discussing why your wife acts grossed out during sex is a vulnerable, sensitive topic. I’m going to get graphic! This article is specifically for the husband whose wife has grown repulsed by him finishing during sex. No man wants to make his wife feel repulsed by him. I know firsthand what it’s like. Feeling isolated. Feeling like there’s something bad or wrong with you. Let me help you see things differently so you know what to do about it.

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    When Your Wife Shames You For Ejaculating: 2 Causes (Explicit)

    Sam Used To Be In “Lover’s Paradise”

    Sam’s wife, Heather, lay comfortably naked on a fuzzy blanket by the fireplace.

    Her skin was soft and warm from soaking in the bath.

    As Sam’s hands spread lotion up her freshly shaved legs, her her eyes closed.

    Starting at her toes and working his way up, he could feel her relax.

    Heather’s legs spread open.

    Gently, he rubbed the sides of her hips, then pushed his palm from her lower tummy straight up to her chest, then back down.

    She arched.

    Her curves shadowed by the flickering fire.

    Sam placed his palms on either side of her belly button, holding steady pressure.

    He could see she was getting wet.

    Sam brushed her labia as he slid his hands back down the insides of her legs.

    Suddenly, her legs wrapped around him, and she pulled him in closer.

    Heather’s hands unbuttoned Sam’s pants.

    She looked at him with begging eyes and pleaded, “I want to feel you inside me”.

    A while later, their passionate writhing had Sam cumming.

    “Yes! Yes!” Heather moaned.

    “I want all of you, every inch!”

    Heather used her fingers to spread his juices all over herself in ecstasy.

    She smiled and said, “I love having you all over me.”

    Now, Sam’s Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex

    Imagine the same scenario as before.

    But now candles are burning, and soft music is playing.

    Sam massages his wife’s muscles into jello.

    He touches her lips with his finger and leans in for a kiss.

    As their lips touch, tears run down Heather’s cheeks.

    “I feel nothing,” she said, then got up and walked out of the room.

    The next weekend, Sam and Heather were at it again.

    They both lay in bed kissing and cuddling.

    As desire grew, Sam slipped his hard manhood inside her.

    They arched together.

    Soon, both Heather and Sam climaxed together.

    After Sam came, Heather’s face held a look of disgust.

    “I’ll be leaking your juices for the rest of the day… This is GROSS!” she snapped.

    Heather rolled out of bed to shower.

    When she came back, she crawled into bed facing the wall with her back to Sam and went to sleep.

    This was happening more and more lately.

    The month prior, Sam had pulled out and finished on her chest.

    She had the same reaction then.

    Why was his wife so grossed out during sex?

    She used to LOVE him finishing on her.

    What changed?

    Was he doing something wrong?

    The answer is both simple and complex.

    Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex Because She’s Not Turned On

    Women’s sexuality “opens” and “closes” (This is not because of a wrong sex position or lube).

    This is the simple thing to understand.

    Men’s desire for sex goes up and down depending on sexual frequency.

    There’s one constant to be relied on with men: The longer it’s been since he’s had sex, the more strongly he can feel desire.

    Women are not wired this way. A “closed” Woman can go decades without desire.

    When a woman is “closed,” your morning wood makes you a pervert in her opinion.

    If she’s “opened,” she can’t keep her hands out of your pants.

    If your wife used to love when you finished (and now hates it), it’s a window into where SHE is.

    This is where it gets a little more complex.

    Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex When She’s “Closed”

    In her book, “Open Her,” Karen Brody describes 7 masculine archetypes that “open” women.

    She talks about two ways women lose respect and sexual desire for a man.

    These two ways are:

    1. Going for sex after your wife hasn’t been treating you well.
    2. Proceeding with sex when the first initial touch or kiss was obviously not well received by her.

    If you go for sex after your wife mistreats you, it shows low self-worth.

    See yourself as the prize.

    Don’t give yourself to her when she’s been nasty to you.

    If you do, she’ll grow to resent your touch.

    She’ll think to herself, “He has no standards… why should I even give effort to be a better wife?”

    When your wife acts grossed out during sex, it’s because you missed the early signals that said STOP.

    Did she wince when you put your hand on her arm?

    Did she turn her face when you went in for the kiss?

    Was she complaining about a headache?

    These are all signs she is NOT in the mood.

    See how your wife acts grossed out during sex because she wasn’t desiring it in the first place?

    For guys, we get turned on by doing sexual stuff.

    Your wife doesn’t have this ability.

    She has to be turned on FIRST.

    For the confident, attractive man, sex is never transactional.

    A man with high self-esteem takes sex off the table when his standards for engagement are not met.

    Sex is his awesome gift.

    He only gives it at the right time.

    But most men are looking at this backwards.

    They think SHE is the one rejecting him from good, intimate sex.

    Thinking this way is a reversal of leadership.

    YOU are the gatekeeper of intimacy.

    YOU take sex off the table when your wife acts grossed out during sex.

    Not to be mean, but to show you won’t settle for less than the best.

    It also means you lovingly lead her to something besides sex when she’s not in the mood.

    Something you both can still enjoy.

    A conversation.

    An adventure.

    Maybe just listening.

    Until a man can show this self-value for himself, SHE won’t be able to feel respect for him.

    And women don’t sexually desire men they don’t respect.

    Your Wife Is Helping You Connect To The Present Moment

    When a man’s sex drive is full throttle, it’s easy for his mind to be in la-la land.

    Presence is the opposite.

    And without presence, your wife will feel like a used blowup doll.

    How your wife responds to you is calling you to tune into the NOW.

    She’s challenging you to the edge of your personal growth.

    What are your boundaries?

    How much do you value yourself?

    When your wife acts grossed out during sex, how will you respond?

    You won’t know where you stand on these things until you’re challenged by feminine.

    Going at it like rabbits isn’t growth at all.

    When she shames you for ejaculating, it’s calling on your leadership, sense of worth, and boundaries.

    Let’s Get Your Bedroom Steamy Again

    Has your partner brought you to the end of your wits?

    Good.

    You’re in the battlefield where kings are made.

    I help men in the battlefield become kings every day.

    If you’re ready to address the deeper issues in yourself, the ones keeping your marriage sexless and cold, reach out.

  • How To Know If Your Marriage Can Be Saved

    How To Know If Your Marriage Can Be Saved

    Here’s how to know if your marriage can be saved: If your wife has only experienced a version of you who provided for the family and wanted sex, then your marriage has hope! She hasn’t fully experienced masculine/feminine polarity with you yet. That polarity is the secret to attraction. And shoveling the sidewalk or changing oil in her car wasn’t that. This article explains 4 ways your marriage will fail without masculine/feminine polarity.

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    4 Reasons Your Marriage Will Fail Without Masculine/Feminine Polarity

    1. Without Masculine/Feminine Polarity, You Become Roommates

    Regardless of your gender, you feel attraction to what polarizes you.

    Opposites create polarity.

    Imagine a soft, sweet, affectionate woman who smells like strawberries.

    Her entire body is hairless, and she giggles in a high voice.

    Sound attractive?

    Opposites attract.

    The idea of masculine/feminine polarity is not a new concept.

    In Tony Robin’s article, “How to increase relationship polarity” he says, “When your relationship polarity becomes too similar, passion dies“.

    Harmony and polarity are not the same.

    Similar likes, dislikes, and perspectives is harmony.

    It’s what friends do… and roommates!

    Polarity is a spark.

    Where there’s Polarity, there’s energy.

    Polarity pulls you out of your comfort zone.

    It makes you feel sexual passion.

    A healthy relationship needs “spark” to fire on all cylinders.

    Asking how to know if your marriage can be saved is the wrong question.

    Asking how to have more masculine/feminine polarity is the right question. 

    2. Your Wife Cannot Relax Into Intimacy Unless She Feels Your Strong Containment

    Containment is not control.

    Containment is your protection.

    What would you do if thugs tried to break into your house?

    You would protect your family!

    That’s containment on a physical level.

    It’s time to learn how that looks on an emotional level.

    Your wife needs to know you can protect her emotionally, even from herself.

    She needs something to challenge to know where she stands.

    If you react or become defensive, you’re adding to the attack, not the containment.

    If you don’t handle her emotions with grace and presence, she doesn’t feel your masculine containment.

    Masculine/feminine polarity is created when your steady presence with her emotions relaxes her need to hide them.

    Your wife is fully capable of providing her own masculine containment.

    She can put her emotions in a box and only show you the parts she thinks you can handle.

    But this doesn’t feel feminine to her; it feels masculine.

    Polarity is lost.

    She feels like she has to be her own man to contain her emotional flow.

    A woman who has become her own man will grow resentful, angry, and burned out.

    Worst of all?

    She loses her desire for sex.

    Here’s how you restore masculine/feminine polarity by being the masculine container:

    • Stop reacting to her feelings and start responding from your values.
    • Take extreme ownership of her like you would a new car (this means being interested in what’s best for her and taking action so it happens).
    • Be quick to lead and to serve, but not to please (you don’t need momma to be happy for you to be happy).
    • Listen to what your wife says to understand it, not to give it answers or to fix it.

    Being this way grounds your relationship.

    And grounding is key for masculine/feminine polarity.

    3. Sexual Intimacy Needs An Initiator And A Reciever

    It’s time to stop complaining that your wife never initiates sex.

    Initiating is a masculine trait.

    Want her to be feminine?

    Be masculine by going first.

    Not just in the bedroom, across the board.

    A man who waits for his wife to plan the weekend, decide what’s for dinner, or figure out the holidays is not going first.

    He’s being a receiver.

    He’s reducing masculine/feminine polarity, and his sex life will suffer.

    Both men and women can embody masculine or feminine energy.

    There’s nothing wrong with switching roles sometimes.

    Getting STUCK in the opposite polarity is the problem.

    A man stuck in feminine energy will:

    • Grow passive, indecisive, and depressed
    • Feel like he’s at the mercy of those in his life
    • Blame others for how he feels
    • Let people walk over him
    • Avoid conflict like the plague
    • Hope and fantasize about sexual intimacy instead of leading it
    • Assume others are responsible for dealing with inconveniences in his life

    Why?

    Because in his heart of hearts, he is a king.

    You’re asking how to know if your marriage can be saved.

    I’m asking you if your wife has experienced you as a king.

    A king leads, does hard things, and takes responsibility for his actions.

    A king also does what’s best even if it makes him unpopular.

    Your relationship won’t survive unless someone takes charge in the realm of intimacy.

    That somebody is YOU.

    4. Until You Pass A Woman’s Tests, You Won’t Experience Her Full Depth Of Love

    When your wife complains about the toilet seat, she doesn’t want to talk about toilet seats.

    Little negs like this are how she tests to see how you handle it.

    Something totally unrelated is gnawing at her, and she’s testing how you respond.

    If you defend, explain, or avoid, she won’t bring up the real thing bothering her.

    That’s why you need to pass these small tests by not arguing or defending.

    Get curious and provide a safe space for her with your tone and presence.

    The real issue eventually comes out.

    A deeper layer opens, and so does her deeper love and sexual desire.

    Before she can totally let go in the bedroom, she needs to test how safe you are outside the bedroom.

    She feels masculine/feminine polarity when she can’t rock your boat over stupid stuff like toilet seats.

    How To Know If Your Marriage Can Be Saved With Masculine/Feminine Polarity

    If your wife has already experienced the best version of you and doesn’t like it, then your marriage probably can’t be saved.

    But if you know you could be so much better then the past, there is hope.

    I teach a highly effective process for becoming a man with polarizing masculine energy.

    • You learn a new way to think about your feelings.
    • You make choices from your non-negotiable values.
    • You stop orbiting around her approval and start creating the life you want
    • You become a man who is irresistible to women!

    Since feminine is wired to be a responder, you doing this work first is very effective.

    Masculine/feminine polarity is a natural occurrence. 

    Let’s talk about your current situation.