Masculine Confidence Framework

Category: Intimacy

The section contains vital blog posts for men looking to increase intimacy, affection, love, and a deeper connection in their marriage.

How To Never Be Rejected For Sex Again

Many men are rejected for sex without realizing how they are preventing the intimacy they crave. Dive into this article or watch the video below to discover why women are drawn to men who can face rejection with confidence.

Men Who Act Frustrated When Rejected For Sex Experience A Snowball Effect of Rejection

Rejection by your wife can be frustrating.

This frustration can push her further away, creating a never-ending cycle of more rejection.

When our sexual energy is pent-up, it can feel like a problem that needs an immediate solution.

Being wildly horny in itself isn’t the problem.

How we act when we feel urgent is what turns your wife off.

Although an orgasm seems like an obvious solution, anytime you act desperate, needy, demanding, or mopey, you are putting negative pressure on your wife.

Negative pressure is a HUGE libido killer for women.

Sexually frustrated men tend to use their own level of desire to determine if they should initiate intimacy.

This also leads to more rejection.

Our wife can sense if we are trying to make love because WE can’t handle our own instincts, or if we are initiating because SHE is ripe for engaging it.

Acting on our feelings with no awareness of her emotional state is a guaranteed path to rejection.

She Wants Intimacy With A Man Who Holds His Agency

I used to believe that my feelings were my wife’s job to take care of.

If I was hungry, she should feed me.

If I was horny, she should make love to me.

This mindset made me feel like a victim of her moods and dependent on her for my happiness.

Making others responsible for how we feel is a path to codependency, victimhood, and a sense of neediness.

A man who takes responsibility for his own feelings talks differently.

He won’t say, “You’re making me angry,” he will say, “I feel my anger”.

A man who plays the victim will say things like, “That person is making me feel disrespected”.

A man who owns his agency will say, “My thoughts about that person are making me feel disrespected”.

Men who hold their agency are attractive to women.

Your wife wants to feel that you can hold your emotions AND her emotions without losing your agency.

How To Stop Getting Rejected For Sex

Imagine there is a green light and a red light on every woman’s forehead.

If you try to initiate physical intimacy with your wife when the light is red, it will push her away.

My advice?

ONLY INITIATE WHEN HER LIGHT IS GREEN.

Nearly every guy I coach who is frustrated in the bedroom is initiating when she’s giving clear signals to stop.

We can’t turn her red light green by getting all cuddly and affectionate with her.

A woman’s desire for intimacy comes in seasons, and she can’t just flip a switch to turn it on.

There’s no use in getting upset with her season, just like there’s no use in getting upset if it’s summer or winter.

There is an irony to this.

When we are happy, inspired, successful, and fun without her giving us sex, the sooner her season changes.

If you struggle to know when her light is green, read my article “6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom“.

How To Stop Acting Like A Sexually Frustrated Man

Women are not attracted to horny, sexually frustrated men.

But they are attracted to sexy men!

So what’s the difference?

Horny, sexually frustrated men can’t handle discomfort.

Sexy men face discomfort.

Horny, sexually frustrated men act impulsively.

Sexy men act deliberately.

Many horny, sexually frustrated men think they need sex 3 or 5 times a day.

Here’s the truth.

When you have BETTER sex, you’ll crave sex less.

Better sex is enthusiastic, wild, connected, and erotic.

Before we can have better sex, we first need to build emotional intimacy with our partner.

Not taking things personally and tuning into her emotions to validate them is how she feels emotional intimacy.

In my coaching, I teach you how to THINK to feel empowered by things that used to drive you crazy.

Don’t believe this helps?

Right now, imagine biting into a freshly cut lemon… Imagine your teeth squeezing the tart juice out as it drips down your lips… Did your mouth start to water?

Your mouth is watering because of the THOUGHT you just fed in your mind.

Sexually frustrated men need to feed new thoughts!

I’ll show you how.

August 19, 2024
How To Be Irresistible To Your Wife
This article reveals how to be irresistible to your wife by building erotic desire through seduction.

Seduction is not about picking up strange women.

Seduction is about the art of creating and maintaining feelings of positive emotional tension, including sexual tension.

Perhaps you have a fairytale version of love in your mind.

In this fairytale, your wife or girlfriend is magically affectionate, intimate, and sexual with you for 60 years… All because you’re such an easy-going, great guy!

This rarely happens.

Like it or not, seduction is a game.

Playing the game is NOT about being a slimy manipulator who tricks women into liking him.

Games are about having FUN.

If you’ve ever had sex, you are already a player in the game of seduction.

The OUTSIDE Game Of Seduction

Pickup artists use OUTSIDE game to meet and have sex with new women effectively.

Fancy clothes, nice cologne, a fancy watch… those are all OUTSIDE things.

These men know how to catch a woman’s eye.

The female mind loves the tease, temptation, emotions, and illusion of freedom that OUTSIDE game provides.

However, if you do not have INSIDE game, new women you seduce with OUTSIDE game will eventually break up with you.

As they get to know you, they realize it was all smoke and mirrors because everything was just an act to get into her pants.

The INSIDE Game Of Seduction

INSIDE game is all about the vibe your behaviors give off under pressure.

Your inner maturity, confidence, self-esteem, vulnerability, and masculine frame are part of your INSIDE game.

Without a rock-solid INSIDE game, your wife won’t feel safe opening her heart to you.

Your relationship is on borrowed time when she feels like she can’t open her heart around you.

It makes her feel like the relationship has no depth.

Many younger women become infatuated with “bad boys.”

They assume if his OUTSIDE game feels confident, then his INSIDE game must be very secure, strong, and competent.

Sadly, most women who marry “bad boys” realize down the road that his INSIDE game is that of insecurity, self-doubt, and a need for validation.

Many women who have been burned by a “bad boy” will latch on to a “nice guy” next.

They assume the “nice guy” will have what the “bad boy” lacks.

Sadly, most women who marry “nice guys” lose sexual attraction for him.

His softness, wishy-washiness, aversion to conflict, and lack of boundaries feel boyish and feminine to her.

Women crave to ravish a man, not a boy.

Mastering Seduction To Be Irresistible To Your Wife

To be irresistible to your wife, she needs to be seduced again and again.

She needs to bounce between your INSIDE game and your OUTSIDE game weekly for the rest of your life.

On the days she’s drawn to your INSIDE game, she loves how her mood can’t rattle you.

Her complaints are met with your empathy.

When she brings up the past, you show understanding without getting defensive.

You like who you are being.

You trust your intentions, and she can sense your secure vibe.

On days she’s drawn to your OUTSIDE game, she’s loving that you’re sexting her during the day.

You’re giving her a wink and a squeeze on the shoulder, or buying her favorite coffee.

In other words, you are living your best life, and she’s feeling the invitation to join.

I used to suck at both INSIDE and OUTSIDE game badly.

I’ve made it my mission to learn and teach men both by mastering seduction in my own life.

In my Masculine Confidence Framework, I get raw and personal with you on how to be a masculine man in a 1:1 setting.

You already have the traits for INSIDE & OUTSIDE game hard-coded into your DNA.

You were born a man women can’t get enough of.

But along the way, you may have adopted some faulty beliefs about masculine and feminine that need to be rewritten.

I will help you spot the mindsets that make you feel indecisive, unclear, wishy-washy, and unattractive towards women.

This way, you can be naturally good at the game of seduction.

My Masculine Confidence Framework Can Make You Irresistible To Your Wife

I pack a lot of the most potent things I’ve learned into my masculine confidence framework.

Below are 4 ways to tell if my framework will help you.

Are you a man who can…
1. Be willing to take constructive feedback
2. Be willing to laugh at your past mistakes
3. Be willing to follow through on reading and homework assignments
4. Be willing to turn down her offers for sex
That last one might sound strange, but you’ll find out why if we work together.

I’m willing to take you by the hand and lead you each step of the way.

This kind of mentorship will save you YEARS of trial and error!
July 25, 2024
How To Make Your Wife Sweet & Affectionate In 7 Days
You want to make your wife sweet and affectionate, but can you handle some raw truth about her? There are 3 steps to take this week to turbo-boost your relationship. But first, let’s face the raw truth head-on.

The Raw Truth About Changing Your Wife

Fact check…We can’t change other people.

That’s the raw truth.

For us men, this is hard to swallow.

I’m the oldest of 4 brothers.

As a kid, I was the biggest.

I could make my brothers do whatever I wanted.

Our father could make us do whatever he wanted.

A dominating voice or fear of punishment was all it took.

I developed a subconscious belief that others should bend to a man’s will.

I tried for 10 years to change what I didn’t like about my wife.

Then, in 2018, a mentor showed me a different way.

You see, I had it backward.

You can’t make women sweet and affectionate, but you can be the kind of man women are sweet and affectionate with.

There is what women say they want, and there is what they can’t help but want.

I’ll show you how to activate what she can’t help but want.

If You Can’t Make Your Wife Sweet & Affectionate, Then What Should You Do?

If we get back to the primal roots of what it means to be masculine, 99% of marriage issues clear up on their own.

Attraction is NATURAL and will occur without our intervention if we stay in our masculine frame.

Here are 3 steps to take this week so your wife can experience your attractive, masculine frame.
1. Stop applying negativity to things you don’t like
2. Celebrate your wife
3. Go do things you love
Do the above for the next 7 days and notice what changes.

If you like the changes, keep it up!

Being negative about what you don’t like about your wife has about a 5% success rate.

Yet we men tend to use negativity a lot.

You know who else uses negativity to change what they don’t like?

Children.

Like I always say… Women crave men, not boys.

If someone’s behavior has the power to make us negative, they are our boss.

Women are attracted to a man who can’t be bothered, not a man who makes her the boss of how he reacts.

If we take it personally whenever she does something for herself, we are once again acting like a boy, not a man.

In his article, “No, You Can’t Change A Person” Mark Manson points out how trying to change others is manipulation and a violation of personal boundaries.

Having good intentions won’t make up for the violation our wife feels when we try to coerce or change her behaviors.

To Make Your Wife Sweet & Affectionate, She Needs To Be Celebrated

Your wife’s deepest need is to be seen to her core and praised for who she is.

When you celebrate your wife’s “wins” or fun times she has with her friends, you are showing that you are happy for her and glad she had fun.

I used to keep a mental scorecard of how much attention my wife gave me vs others and would make a fuss if she had fun without me.

Experience has shown me women feel a draw towards those who celebrate them.

She isn’t out to maliciously hurt you, but it can feel like that if you have a scarcity mindset.

An abundance mindset knows that other people having love, attention, money, intimacy, or fun won’t reduce what’s available for us to create.

The Secret To Erotic Intimacy

When you take the initiative to do things you love for your own sake, you lift a huge burden off your wife’s shoulders.

At the core of wild, fun, erotic intimacy is the exchange of energy.

The type of energy doesn’t matter, really.

Feeling very upset with each other can translate into passionate intercourse.

Annoyance can turn to a playful tease until you are both so ravenous you’re ripping each other’s clothes off.

But if you’ve been using the marriage bed as a place to GET validation…

If you’ve been looking to your wife to remove your horniness..

Then your wife will feel drained by the mere thought of having intimacy.

Get out this week and do something you love.

Let it fill you down to your toes.

Swim in it.

Come home with a spark in your eye and let your wife off the hook for making you happy.

Such behaviors tend to have a happy ending.

It’s time to be comfortable in your own skin and let attraction do all the work.

Be the kind of man who can make your wife sweet and affectionate again by celebrating her.

I would love to hear about your personal situation and get to know you.
July 10, 2024
6 Signs She Wants You To Be More Bold In The Bedroom
I’m sure you want to be more bold in the bedroom, but you also don’t want to feel like a predator. The female mind possesses fantasies and secret desires waiting to be ravished! Timing is everything. This article and video helps you identify when to let your wild love-making loose.

Do Women Desire Sexual Boldness?

Women often secretly crave what they repress.

In 2023, over 39 million romance novels were sold, with 82% of those purchases made by women.

Romance novels depict scenes so erotic, even a sex coach would blush.

The provocative narrative in these novels proves women DO have an intense desire to be seduced in bold, imaginative ways.

As a man, you get turned on by your physical senses.

What you see, hear, smell, and touch gets your passions fired up.

You can easily assume that if your wife is not turned on, you just need to stimulate her.

You might even think being more bold in the bedroom means using more toys or lube.

While women do appreciate physical stimulation, it’s most enjoyable for her AFTER she’s turned on.

This raises the question all men have asked, “What turns her on??”

Well, it’s not the toys, lube, or vibrator…

In the video below, I talk more about female arousal.

6 Signs She Would Like You To Be Bolder in the Bedroom

Being Sexually Bold 24/7 Backfires

Women desire romantic confidence from their partners, but not constantly.

Shame around your sexuality does need to be resolved if you want to be more bold in the bedroom.

You need to be confident with your body, warts and all.

Being awkward with your lovemaking will shut her down.

But if you boldly push your sexuality 24/7, it’s just as bad as shame or being awkward.

Initiating sex takes confidence.

Hitting the brakes if she isn’t receptive while maintaining playfulness takes MORE confidence.

In a long-term relationship, your wife is turned on by how you handle her

rejections, not by how well you can perform in bed.

This made no sense to me when I first learned it.

I thought being more bold in the bedroom meant being more fearless to initiate sex.

Handling rejection in a positive way revolutionized my sex life.

When you can call off your sexual pursuit while maintaining a non-needy vibe, her juices start to flow.

How Desire for Physical Intimacy Builds Up In Women

A woman’s desire builds through numerous intimate moments.

Like “drips” filling a bucket, the bucket is eventually full of arousal.

Women are vessels who accumulate their experiences internally.

Have you noticed your wife always remembers the past?

Her emotional experiences accumulate, one on top of the other, shaping how she feels right now.

“Intimate moments” are things like:
- Feeling valued
- Feeling emotionally safe and connected
- Feeling slight anxiety about our love for her (creates want)
- Feeling a little left out (creates desire)
- Feeling appreciated
- Feeling teased
- Feeling beautiful
In my experience, when a relationship is NOT on the rocks, a woman will accumulate “intimate moments” into her bucket for about a week (or even two) before she starts to brim with erotic desire.

Her brimming desire is a green light to be more bold in the bedroom!

We men are so different!

Show us a picture of a hot girl, and we’re turned on NOW.

Women show signs when they’re ready for us to express our unbridled sexuality.

Here are 6 Signs It’s Time To Be More Bold In The Bedroom:
1. She’s blushing, avoiding eye contact, and fiddling with her hair
2. She’s happily chatting for a very long time.
3. She’s lingering around while occasionally brushing against you or touching your arm.
4. She walks by with no pants or top, then lingers for no apparent reason.
5. She shows you a craft or something she made, then hangs around like she’s waiting for a pat on the head.
6. She faces you while she talks, and when you step closer, she doesn’t back up or turn to the side.
Blushing is my favorite sign to be more bold in the bedroom.

When she’s blushing, she’s literally so hot and bothered she can’t control herself.

When you see these signs, hesitation will squander the moment.

The moment she shows one (or more) of the signs above, cup her face and plant a long, hot kiss on her lips.

If she’s receptive to the kiss, lead her into an amazing, intimate experience!

If she isn’t receptive to your kiss, leave the room with a wink.

Your level of arousal has zero bearing on her arousal.

This is another thing that’s totally backwards between men and women.

Most men are turned on by their lady getting turned on.

Trust me, your raging hard on does nothing to get her turned on.

Testing her because you’re horny is as annoying as a mosquito on a summer night.

LET HER COME TO YOU with signs she’s ALREADY turned on before going for a long, hot kiss.

How To Be More Bold In The Bedroom When Your Marriage Is Struggling

If I could boil this whole article down to one sentence, it would be this: Your horniness is not the indicator of when it’s time to be sexually bold; her receptivity is.

Self-evaluating questions to improve intimacy:
- How good am I at not taking things personally so I can connect with where SHE is?
- Can I see “no” as an indicator of HER state, not a statement about me?
- Do I have clarity about how I love to behave regardless of how others behave?
In our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course,” I give you the framework to be a confident, attractive man who’s going to be more bold in the bedroom.

In the course, we teach you how to stop walking on eggshells with your amazing gift of sexual intimacy and to view yourself as the prize.

This course is taught LIVE so you get specific coaching for your situation.

When a relationship is on the rocks, it’s time to face your fears, shame, insecurities, and triggers and stop trying to “fix” what’s frustrating about your partner.

Until you face your own issues, you’re not in a position to lead the relationship to a better place.

Be the sexually bold man she can’t rattle.
February 10, 2024
How To Make Your Wife Want You Again
I’ll show you how to make your wife want you again by becoming a version 2.0 of yourself. Women respond to the energy you bring into the relationship. Below is a video with examples from the TV show “Vikings” to illustrate the kind of energy your wife can’t resist.

Focus On Causes, Not Symptoms

Every day, I speak to men in a desperate spot.

They sincerely want to save their failing marriage, but everything they do seems to backfire.

I know how easy it is to hyper-focus on everything that’s “wrong” in your relationship.

You’ll assume what’s “wrong” is preventing your marriage from turning around.

The problem with this approach is you’re trying to resolve symptoms, not causes.
- Lack of affection/no sex
- Poor communication
- Blaming attachment styles
- Love language frustrations
- Emotional coldness/withdrawal
- Her inability to be respectful or do self-improvement
The list above is symptoms, not root causes.

I say it all the time, “Love covers a multitude of sins”.

When your wife feels attracted to you, she overlooks the annoyances (and so do you).

The level of personal happiness and fulfillment you feel outside of marriage determines how you’ll eventually feel inside the marriage.

The degree to which you can create an amazing life without your wife determines the degree to which you can create one with her.

If you’re not emotionally secure enough to let her go, you’re not emotionally secure enough to have her.

These are the kinds of insecurities and root causes that cripple a relationship.

How To Make Your Wife Want You Again If She Wants Space

If your wife wants space, that means she doesn’t want to manage your needs for you.

She’s tired.

She wants to feel a SPARK when she’s around you, not obligation.

Watch my video below to see how a woman’s feelings change when her man gets his spark back.

How To Make Your Wife Want You Again

One of the most effective ways to attract a woman is to let her go.

She wants to have the freedom to CHOOSE you.

How do you give her that freedom?

By letting her have the option to NOT choose you.

A man without an inspiring life mission will see his wife as his source of happiness.

She becomes his purpose for living.

You can’t let her go if you can’t imagine living an amazing life without her.

I know this seems backwards.

You probably think your inability to live an amazing life without her is proof of your love for her.

But it’s the opposite for her.

Your partner is not wired to be responsible for her happiness AND yours.

A huge burden is lifted off her shoulders when you have a life that’s so energizing that your spark, charisma, excitement, joy, and inspiration are full regardless of what she does.

How A Viking Reattracted His Lover

In the video, I point out how Rollo wallows in his self-pity, victim mindset, and lack of purpose.

These behaviours make Siggy lose her attraction for him.

Rolo blames his brother, his ex-lover, the gods’, and everyone else for his life.

For a time, he tries to demand respect and love from others.

This quickly makes his situation worse.

I realize this story is made up, but it mirrors what I see with men I work with.

Again and again, I’ve seen my client’s wife circle back after he gets clear, excited, and motivated by his positive future to the point that he lovingly lets her go.

These men grew until they:
- No longer resisted the divorce process.
- No longer needed to “be right”.
- No longer needed her mood be different for him to be ok.
- Could unshakably trust in his own ability to create the experiences he wanted.
- Accepted that she is on her own journey of personal growth and is progressing at her own pace.
- Stopped “fighting for the marriage.”
In the video, Siggy suddenly became re-attracted to Rollo because his spark brought energy to the relationship.

That’s the opposite of needing the relationship to give him energy.

She wanted to feel ALIVE.

Women move towards what makes her feel ALIVE.

You get to take the lead and demonstrate what feeling alive looks like.

Your partner is wired to respond to the energy you bring into your relationship.

Your vibe, tone, and look in our eyes do all the talking.

How To Get Your Wife Back If Your Spark Is Gone

Getting your wife back won’t happen until you get your spark back.

When I take a man through my Masculine Confidence Framework, I’m giving him the foundation for who HE is.

I give you clarity on HOW to be YOURSELF your relationship.

You’ll emerge from this framework with personalized, unflappable self-trust and inner security.

You read that right.

YOUR masculine frame is not going to consist of the same values or operating principles as the next guy.

My coaching challenges YOUR pain points, YOUR perspectives, and YOUR excuses.

An interesting study revealed how high testosterone doesn’t necessarily equal high female attraction.

What the researchers discovered was that low levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) had more of an appealing effect on women than high testosterone did.

You don’t need to be more “macho” for your wife to want you.

You need to be more comfortable in your own skin, more OK, and more relaxed to face what needs to be faced.

If you’re ready to have your brain rewired so you can make decisions quickly, know how to be with feminine emotions, and live as a man with an inspiring purpose, then let’s talk.

I promise you’ll gain clarity on how to make your wife want you again without being fake or manipulative.
February 10, 2024
Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her…Yet

Are you pointing a finger at your wife for your sexless marriage? Don’t blame her until you take a hard look in the mirror, brother. When your wife emotionally and sexually withdraws, you can find yourself in the depths of despair and heartache. I know a sexless marriage wasn’t what you signed up for. But wallowing in resentment and blame doesn’t create intimacy. Let Chris’s story below be your roadmap back to confidence and intimacy.

How Did Chris End Up In A Sexless Marriage?

Meet Chris.

Chris is known for his remarkable kindness and for always going the extra mile to please others.

He has a gentle soul, and conflict is his sworn enemy.

He would do anything to avoid confrontation and prides himself on being a peacemaker.

Chris’s marriage to his wife, Sarah, started off blissfully.

They were deeply in love and seemed to have a fairytale relationship.

As time passed, Sarah began to feel a growing disconnect.

Chris’s unwavering niceness became suffocating, and his fear of conflict prevented open communication between them.

Rather than leading an emotional connection with Sarah, Chris would walk on eggshells, hoping not to upset her.

In their intimate life, Chris’s insatiable sexual neediness further strained their relationship.

He constantly sought validation and reassurance, often pressuring Sarah for physical intimacy.

His desperation for connection had unintentionally pushed Sarah away, and she no longer felt the same attraction she once had.

Sarah longed for a partner who could stand up for himself, express his desires and needs, and engage in honest conversations.

She craved a sense of balance, where both partners were able to communicate their feelings openly, even if it meant occasional disagreements.

Feeling the growing distance, Sarah contemplated the state of their marriage.

She realized that if things continued as they were, both of them would suffer.

Sarah knew deep down that Chris’s innate kindness was genuine, but it was overshadowed by his fear of conflict and his inability to assert himself.

She wanted to feel attracted to Chris, but an unexplainable pressure kept her from feeling anything but disgust whenever she was around him.

Though she hated to think of it, Sarah knew deep down that the only way she could have the relationship she wanted was to leave Chris.

Does Avoiding Conflict Lead To A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her If She’s Turned Off By It

Chris’s wife wasn’t trying to punish him by withholding intimacy.

Even she felt confused why her body shut down around him.

Jump forward 24 months.

Chris and Sarah’s marriage only worsened.

Sarah had come to terms that she didn’t want to be with Chris and told him she wanted a divorce.

Chris was devastated.

Determined to change, he embarked on a journey of self-improvement.

Chris sought mentorship to explore his own insecurities and learn healthier ways of expressing his needs

Through self-reflection and guidance, he began to strike a balance between being kind and standing up for himself.

He discovered that true strength lies not in avoiding conflicts but in being unshakable in his self-esteem, boundaries, and personal values.

Over time, the dynamic between Chris and Sarah started to shift!

Chris was living from a more masculine frame, and it evoked something primal in Sarah.

Their conversations became more honest and open as they learned to communicate their desires and concerns without reacting from a place of neediness, insecurity, or fear.

Chris’s newfound self-assuredness and willingness to engage in constructive dialogue reignited the spark in their relationship.

As they grew together, Chris learned the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between kindness and assertiveness.

He discovered that intimacy blossoms when his vibe feels safe and grounded.

Sarah felt comfortable sharing her feelings with him again.

In a word, it was Chris’s newfound confidence with emotions that drew her in.

Your Chance To Restore Intimacy

Did the story of Chris & Sarah sound familiar?

Learn the key building blocks to become an attractive, happy, CONFIDENT man who women can’t resist in the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

Watch this video for a sneak peek into the benefits men are gaining in this course!

Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Herâ€¦Yet

If you’re action-oriented, serious about making permanent changes in your mojo, relationships, sex life, and work life (and have a sense of humor), then you should join this course.

Over the years, I’ve appreciated the research into intimacy Esther Perel has done.

In her article, “Are Taboos Holding Your Relationship Back?” she reminds us how familiarity breeds loss of desire.

Let this truth relax your anxious mind that when something NEW comes out of you, something NEW will come out of the relationship.

Have A Sexless Marriage? Don’t Blame Her… Focus On Being A Man You’re Proud Of
Your love story can take a new turn.

Your relationship can be stronger and more passionate than ever when you stop trying to please her and focus on rebuilding your self-confidence.

You can learn how to give her space without losing her.

You can use a season of no intimacy to dig deeper into being a more self-reliant man.

Why?

Because feminine can’t help but be attracted to a self-reliant, confident man!

And hey, you know that feels good:)

In my coaching, I can give you highly personalized guidance to rebuild your attractive masculine energy.

January 31, 2024
Sexless Marriages: Why She Won’t Touch You

Sexless marriages… women’s moods… irrational behavior… it’s easy to get frustrated with ladies! This article takes a peek under the hood of feminine affection and reveals why her sensual desire seems so fickle at times.

Sexless Marriage: Unraveling The Fragile And Elusive Erotic Desire Of Women

Feminine Love Is Mostly Narcissistic

I’m not trying to bash women when I say their love is mostly narcissistic.

And guess what?

Sexless marriages are not women’s fault.

You wanting sex when she doesn’t, doesn’t make her the one with the problem.

But yes, your wife’s sexuality is narcissistic.

Click HERE to watch a short video by Esther Perel.

Esther has been studying infidelity and sex in long-term relationships for many years.

If you’re thinking, “Narcissistic, that’s toxic!” Don’t pull the eject lever yet, brother.

Feminine and masculine are polar opposites.

A LOT of how women work will seem backward to how you are wired.

When I was a young boy going through puberty, I fantasized how my man parts could make a girl fall in love with me if I let her see it fully erect.

Real life was a wake-up call.

You and I both know that when a woman is not turned on, your hard-on does not make her want you.

Why?

Because her intimate desire only orbits around how SHE feels, not how you feel.

I’ve learned to accept that what a woman loves when she is turned on is not what turns her on.

But there’s a secret!

Her biology turns on from specific masculine traits.

And those traits aren’t your manhood hanging between your legs, your bank account, or your car.

There are two kinds of experiences she needs for her body to desire your physical intimacy.

On the one hand, she needs to sense you as a grounded, secure, confident, protective, and competent man. One who keeps her safe when she’s emotionally, physically, and mentally the most vulnerable. You have full control over this!

On the other hand, SHE needs to feel connected, desirable, attractive, and delicious all on her own totally separate from you. You have no control over this.

As Esther Perel says, “A woman who cannot make love to herself cannot receive love from others”.

And, that’s where we men get frustrated…

We see her spiraling into coldness and moods, and wish we could shake her out of it.

So what should men in sexless marriages do?

Your demands won’t help, but your sensitivity to how she must feel can.

Especially In Sexless Marriages, Women’s Love Is Sensitive

Think of your partner’s affection like a bubble.

In the early stages of a relationship, everything was soft and yummy.

Her love grew like a soft, thin, delicate bubble filled with affection and desire.

Then she got her period.

You left the toilet seat up.

The bubble started to pop.

But you kissed, made up, made love, all was good again, right?

Wrong.

Sex makes a man feel more connected, but no amount of lovemaking can resolve buried feelings in your wife.

Women are responders in their nature.

Responders to her FEELINGS.

And what did we do with those feelings?

We explained them away.

Defended our point of view.

Or avoided them altogether, hoping they would go away.

They didn’t.

Her feelings festered in her.

They rotted.

Now she feels gross each time we walk by.

See why so many couples end up in sexless marriages?

There is a better way to handle this dynamic.

It starts with understanding how men and women are different.

Women Are Like Cats, Men Are Like Dogs

Corey Wayne came up with the cat/dog analogy to compare men to women.

I love this point of view because it’s so relatable!

Both species make good pets.

Both can be affectionate.

Cats are more elusive, though.

Cats won’t obey, purr, sit still, or “stay” unless they feel like it.

Dogs are very loyal and are quick to forget about yesterday.

Cats are always suspicious of your intentions and only come close when they feel the right vibes with you.

Dogs are ready to pick up the fun right where they left off, regardless of how bad the day was.

Can you relate to any of these experiences with your partner?

In sexless marriages, the woman is mirroring back to the man how it feels to be around him.

She doesn’t plan it out.

Her body does this automatically.

If you’re showing up 100% as the confident, MAN in the relationship who is inspired, fulfilled, outcome non-dependent, and happy, then this is just how she’s going to be with you.

However, most men are walking on eggshells, trying to make her happy, and sacrificing themselves instead of staying in their masculine frame when the marriage is struggling.

If the latter version sounds like you, then your marriage has hope.

When you change for the better, she will probably respond very positively to that.

Sexless Marriages Call For A Clear Masculine Frame

Masculinity coach Mark Drezga and I teach a Confidence Course that will get you thinking, responding, and talking like a grounded, attractive man.

Learning how to be masculine in relationships will completely change your sex life, work life, and social life!

If you’re ready to pull out the big guns and fully rewire your brain for life-long transformation, consider my 1:1 mentorship.

My private coaching will be the most life-changing investment you’ve ever made for yourself.

Sexless marriages are the perfect place for men to get the biggest results from doing this work.

Forging masculinity in the total absence of feminine support and affection is the only way it sticks.

Make good use of this time, brother,

January 31, 2024
Polarize Her Desire: Techniques for Men to Build Sexual Energy
Your wife’s primal sexual passions are activated when you polarize her desire. And the level of pleasure you can experience with her is proportional to the level of uncomfortable feelings you can face. This article is about how to polarize her desire by holding still under emotional tension (even when it feels uncomfortable).

Polarizing Her Desire: Techniques for Men to Build Sexual Energy

Polarize Her Desire At The Right Time

Your relationship is like a garden.

Trying to sprout beans in the dead of winter is a fool’s run.

If your wife is asking for space, this is the wrong time to apply the advice you’re about to read.

Go read my post, “How To Give Your Wife Space Without Losing Her” to get clear on what you can do instead.

If your relationship is in the daily grind, feels mundane, or needs a jump-start, keep reading!

Playful Tension Will Polarize Her Desire

Men are attracted to beauty.

Women are attracted to strong safety.

It’s not your ability to beat up bad guys or wrestle tigers that I’m talking about.

When I say, “strong safety,” I’m talking about how you handle emotions.
- When you’re direct instead of beating around the bush, your woman knows you can handle someone’s verbal assaults on her
- When you step up and sort the schedule, decide where to eat, and have a plan for the day, she feels like she can trust you to take the wheel when she needs a break
- When she sees you can stay present even when she’s being emotional, she knows you can control your impulses (which builds trust)
- When you listen to her accusations without getting defensive, she knows you don’t just care about yourself, you care about her too
Holding strong under emotional tension will polarize her desire towards you.

This means FACING the conversations, the conflicts, and the emotional messiness of relationships, not avoiding it.

And sometimes she just needs your humor to guide her out of her complicated world of overanalysis and feelings.

There can be no sense of erotic play without the energy of tension!

One thing to notice is when you “leak” energy instead of letting it build.

Bouncing your leg releases energy.

So does talking fast, looking away, or laughing.

I’m not saying you should never laugh, but notice when you laugh because something is funny vs trying to deflect energy.

Letting energy build between you and your partner makes her skin tingle.

Get playful with that energy, and it increases her sexual pull towards you.

Leaking energy communicates that you can’t handle her and won’t polarize her desire.

A woman will struggle to let herself go in the bedroom with a man she feels can’t handle her.

How I Failed & Succeeded At Building Playful Tension

As I’m typing this, I’m on a plane.

An old man just walked down the aisle towards me.

He noticed my blanket had fallen into the aisle.

With a very somber face, he picked it up and placed it on the seat next to me.

His frustration was thick in the air, so I laughed and said, “Oops!”

The old man glared back, unimpressed.

Here’s why my laugh was unnecessary: I was chuckling because I was uncomfortable with his sour emotion.

Other people’s emotions are not mine to manage!

He can have his sour emotion; it’s not my job to deal with that for him.

So hey, I’m a recovering nice guy just like you.

The nice guy goes through his day trying to smooth out the emotional tension that other people create.

Even though that story was an example of what NOT to do when allowing tension to build, I do have success stories too 🙂

The other day, I was on a date with an attractive woman.

She talked…A LOT.

One thing I’ve learned about women is that they only talk a lot to people they like, so I took it as a compliment.

So I..
- Stayed present
- Held eye contact
- Teased her a little and felt the tension building between us
- Held the tension
- Didn’t laugh it away, bounce my leg, or change the topic
- I stayed present and let the tension build between us
In fact, I slowed down and stayed facing her, letting her be the first to break eye contact.

Holding energy like this is porn to women.

I watched it polarize her desire for me.

You could cut the sexual tension between us with a knife.

A few hours later, we were at her place, making hot love in the bedroom.

Women crave to let go! To expand. To be taken.

Her body can’t do that if she senses your energy is nervous, flighty, or needy.

It takes inner confidence to sit with tension.

She’s turned on by the emotional strength it takes to hold tension.

Two Ways To Hold Tension That Builds Sexual Desire

1. Breathe into your balls to relax.

2. Develop the mindset of a confident man.

Breath work can be as simple as pulling your stomach out when you inhale.

I like to picture that I’m inflating my balls when I inhale.

This kind of deep breathing grounds and relaxes our bodies.

Any time we have constriction in our body, we’re blocking our energy flow.

Masculine energy is open, relaxed, and broad.

It should feel unopoligetic, but present and tuned into the moment.

That undistracted presence is what polarizes her desire for intimacy.

Masculinity coaches G.S Youngblood and Doctor Greg Wells both teach how daily breathwork can increase your resilience to stress and regulate your nervous system.

Make breathing your #1 priority when feeling tension or anxiety building between you and your partner.

Don’t try to figure out what to say to her, just keep facing her while taking deep breaths.

Let your silence build positive tension.

Breathing is always in the PRESENT.

Being in the NOW displays that you can stop to open your heart, even though everything else in life is calling for your attention.

Developing the mindset of a confident man is more of a process.

Most of what’s taught to us in movies and culture leads us to think others are making us feel how we feel.

A confident man understands what he feels is his own creation based on his current perspective.

Your power is that you can choose a new perspective when your feelings get buzzing.

In my story above, I could have thought, “Why won’t this woman shut up? She’s been talking for a solid hour!!”

Or, I could decide to think, “Women talk to guys they like. This is a compliment.”

Same situation.

Different mindset.

The Next Step To Polarizing Her Desire

This article is just the tip of the iceberg.

I teach men a whole lot more when I take them through my private coaching program.

Re-wiring your brain requires a serious commitment to change.

Polarizing her desire is a natural byproduct of healthy self-esteem, grounded energy, and confident behaviors.

I’m ready to meet your level of commitment.
January 31, 2024
Menopause: What Men Need To Know To Save Their Marriage

Let’s talk about menopause: What men need to know can save a lot of frustration. This article is like receiving the puberty talk before your voice changes. It’s nice having a heads-up before everything in your life shifts. It’s also an uncomfortable topic that’s easy to put off. Further down is a video from a man who has successfully navigated menopause with his wife. Pay attention to his advice. Your marriage might depend on it.

Menopause: What Men Need To Know (But Nobody Is Saying)

At 9 years old, I loved technology.

I came across a Radio Shack ad for a control module.

It could turn on any appliance with a cord!

I wanted one.

I saved up that summer, went to Radio Shack, and bought the control module.

Feeling ecstatic was an understatement!

After I opened the box, I quickly realized I had been misguided.

Every outlet in the house had to be equipped with a receiver for the system to work.

I was so bummed.

The full system was way out of budget for a 9-year-old.

Why hadn’t the salesmen at Radio Shack informed me?

Why wasn’t the ad clear that upcoming purchases were necessary to use the module?

Men sat at your wedding who knew something shocking.

They watched you pledge your love to a woman… and they stayed silent.

You thought you were signing up for a lifetime of romantic intimacy with the exact woman who stood before you.

Maybe these men didn’t want to douse the spark in your eye.

Maybe they thought they were alone in their experience.

Here’s the shocking thing these men knew: Your wife would go through an unavoidable metamorphosis and become a totally different person… Menopause!

I’m calling in an expert to give us the facts straight.

In the video below, men’s coach Charlie McKeever shares how he saved his marriage from menopause.

Menopause – What Men Need To Know (But Nobody Is Saying)

Menopause: What Men Need To Know When She Acts Different

The stages leading up to menopause can be a 10-year span called perimenopause.

For most women, perimenopause starts in their mid-40s.

You might be thinking, “So what, her period gets irregular or something?”

Think again.

Remember how much your body changes going through puberty?

Imagine going through puberty again to have everything reversed.

That’s what it’s like for her.

Every man is well aware of how sensitive and changing a woman’s moods are when she’s on her period…

Underlying issues in your relationship she’s been sweeping under the rug boil over during this time.

Perimenopause challenges your standards, boundaries, and self-reliance to your own happiness in ways you’ve never been tested before.

She’ll need you to be confident and emotionally present, not for the weekend…FOR THE LONG HAUL!

Can Hormone Therapy Help Menopause Symptoms?

Hormone therapy can absolutely help your wife through her life transition.

So can supplements and being supportive.

If you feel like your marriage is in the throes of menopause, I encourage you to reach out to Charlie by clicking HERE. He can mentor you through the stages every man must learn while your wife goes through menopause.

Telling your wife she needs hormone therapy isn’t the magic pill.

She needs you to be the rock during this time of change.

Being a confident man who doesn’t seek his wife’s approval and leads the relationship is the type of man you should be, regardless.

Masculine finds purpose in momentum.

We like to see progress, goals reached, and checklists completed.

When you stop reacting to your wife, she feels huge relief.

As her moods change, you need to be steady.

You need a frame.

You need personal standards for yourself.

Menopause: What men need to know is that it’s not a matter of IF but WHEN.

Guys who have already become the rock in their relationships (before menopause strikes) won’t take her moods personally.

He won’t beg, argue, complain, or sulk when she’s having a bad day.

He’s understanding when she’s not down for sex.

He’s the lighthouse that leads her home.

That’s what a great man does for his wife.

January 31, 2024
Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy (And How to Fix It)
Many men, after being married to their wives for 18+ years, are wondering why she’s pulling away from intimacy. Is she ok? Am I ok? Are we ok? These are the thoughts of a frustrated, rejected husband. Let’s unpack what’s going on in this 3rd installment of my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.

End Sexual Neediness â€“ The Pungent Wife Repellent

Secret# 3: End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent.

(Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX)

Matthew’s Advances Fell Flat

The sun was out, the weather was perfect, and Matthew felt good.

If the sky stayed clear, he’d finish painting the house.

Even better, his wife, Amy, would be home soon from her graveyard shift.

They had plans for coffee together, a rare moment of connection after ten days of barely seeing each other.

But Matthew wasn’t just excited for coffee; he was horny.

The thought of getting tangled up with Amy before they left made him smile.

Then Amy walked in.

No hello.

No eye contact.

Just walked right past him.

Matthew followed her into the bedroom, hopeful.

She let out a deep sigh.

He stepped behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and groped.

Amy stepped away.

She walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

The Reason Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy Isn’t What You Think

Thirty minutes later, Matthew and Amy sat in silence at a coffee shop.

Matthew was irritated.

He’d had his mind set on sex, and it hadn’t happened.

Amy was even quieter than usual.

Trying to fill the dead air, Matthew talked about his plans to finish painting.

A tear slid down Amy’s cheek.

“Why are you crying, Amy?” he asked, setting his coffee down.

Amy stared off.

“Come on, Matthew. You should know me well enough by now. I shouldn’t have to say.”

Matthew replayed the morning in his mind.

What had he missed?

Amy finally broke the silence. “I need you to care about me.”

Her voice was as cold as her untouched coffee.

Matthew was stumped and annoyed!

Didn’t he just try to have sex with her an hour ago?

Didn’t that prove he cared?

“Maybe you just need some sleep,” he suggested.

Amy shook her head, eyes narrowing. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do.”

Matthew clenched his jaw.

His patience was thin.

“This is BS,” he thought.

Arms crossed, determined to defend himself, he snapped: “Well, I do care about you, so I don’t know what your problem is.”

Amy turned her face as another tear ran down her cheek.

Pro Tip: If Matthew had simply said, “I hear you. What else are you feeling?” he could’ve stopped this crash before it happened. A woman’s words aren’t a conclusion; they’re the tip of the iceberg to something else she’s feeling.

How Matthew Made Matters Worse

That evening, Matthew was feeling better.

The house painting had gone great.

But he was still horny as hell.

Amy slept most of the day.

Even now, she was curled up in bed.

Matthew stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, and slid under the sheets next to her.

He kissed her neck.

She barely responded.

“Come on, Amy. I’m gonna sleep like shit if we don’t have sex.”

Amy sighed… that long, exhausted sigh Matthew had grown to hate.

“Okay, fine. Just do your thing.”

This was the kind of sex they had been having lately.

Matthew hated it.

Amy hated it.

But here’s what Matthew didn’t understand: his need to relieve his horniness was all Amy could feel from him.

Pro Tip: Your wife wants to feel your sexual desire, not your sexual neediness. There is a difference!

If you don’t understand why she’s pulling away from intimacy, it’s time to notice the energy you bring to the room.

A man full of sexual desire is playful, can tune into the present moment, and can create emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.

Women love this guy!

A man full of sexual neediness is laser-focused on getting to orgasm.

He counts the days since they last had sex.

He tries to get his wife to feel sorry for him when they don’t have sex.

Women can’t stand this guy.

How Matthew Fixed the Intimacy Issues in His Marriage

If your marriage is like Matthew’s, there are some things you need to STOP doing.

Stop doing things like:
- Needing to be right.
- Using her body as an outlet to get off
- Trying to rationalize her into having sex
- Getting upset when she’s not in the mood
- Insisting she’s doing something wrong to you when she turns away
That conversation Matthew and Amy had at the coffee stand?

That could have led to an intimate moment.

Matthew only needed to hold space for Amy to sort out her feelings with him.

But he didn’t.

He reacted, and she shut down.

Tears indicate that there is more she wants to share, but she doesn’t feel safe to.

Never mistake this cue.

The reason why she’s pulling away from intimacy isn’t the first reason she says.

If your woman’s eyes get glossy, she wants to open up; if only you could handle it.

Thankfully, Matthew realized this cycle would destroy his marriage and got help.

He found a mentor who guided him.

And that’s when everything changed.

He stopped letting his horniness override his awareness of how Amy was feeling.

He learned to create a connection in moments that used to trigger his defensiveness.

Amy felt his presence again.

She felt his sexual desire, not his sexual neediness.

And that’s when intimacy started to flow naturally again.

Your Next Step If She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy

You can’t hold space for another if you’re not rock-solid in yourself.

The confidence you display when your wife pulls back is what attracts her to get close again.

You can gain the same attractive masculine energy Matthew achieved in our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

Join an amazing group of men and learn to lead intimacy in marriage with confidence!

If you’re ready to break free from frustration, rebuild attraction, and restore the deep, passionate intimacy you once had with your wife, then it’s time to step up.
January 30, 2024