Masculine Confidence Framework

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Author: Garrett

  • Why Sex Won’t Save Your Marriage

    Why Sex Won’t Save Your Marriage

    I’m here to warn you that sex won’t save your marriage when your wife asks for space or says she’s done. This is part six in my series of 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets. (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR & FIVE) Here’s secret #6: Sex isn’t a gauge for marriage repair.

    I’ve coached many men who’s wife gave in for sex towards the end of their marriage.

    The physical intimacy made matters WORSE.

    Here desire to leave was only amplified.

    That’s why sex won’t save your marriage.

    She’s not a dude.

    She needs something very different.

    Let’s look at how the relationship got to this point so you understand.  

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    Why Sex Isn’t A Gauge For Marriage Repair

    How Relationships Tend To Start

    Nick and Christine met in the spring.

    Nick’s sense of humor and carefree energy enticed Christine.

    Christine’s strong will and enthusiasm for life refreshed Nick. 

    Banter was easy. 

    They were fun and playful together.  

    Their teasing and joking moved to a deeper connection within a few weeks. 

    By fall, they had small spats, but nothing a tussle under the sheets couldn’t fix.

    Their relationship grew over the following months. 

    This felt like more than a casual encounter for Nick. 

    He wanted to commit to Christine for the long haul.

    Nick and Christine:

    • Married and bought a house.
    • Got a dog, chickens, and a duck
    • Dedicated themselves to their careers to fund their dreams
    • Enjoyed domestic life together
    • Delighted in intimate sex regularly

    As the years went by, Christine no longer responded as positively to Nick’s sarcasm or witty comments. 

    His teasing used to get her all hot and bothered.

    Now, it seemed to annoy and frustrate her. 

    Tonight, Nick hoped he could get her aroused. 

    Christine lay in bed, playing a game on her phone.

    Nick spooned up to her.

    She glanced up and said, “Don’t do that. Is sex all you think about?“

    He pressed his lips to her neck, hoping to change her mind.

    Christine pulled away.

    “We’ve only had sex like once this month,” Nick complained.

    “I need some emotional foreplay before I feel turned on,” Christine shot back.

    Emotional foreplay… this was a term Nick hated to hear.

    It sounded like BS as far as he was concerned. 

    Nick felt sure a lack of intimacy was the only problem in their relationship.

    He had no clue that sex won’t save your marriage.

    His mind raced.  

    Did they need to put sex on the calendar?

    Did Christine need to go to therapy?

    Going long periods without sex felt lonely for Nick. 

    More sexual intimacy seemed like the perfect fix for their problems! 

    Nick had been complaining about this to Christine for over a year. 

    He felt like she was ruining their marriage by keeping her legs closed.

    Why Sex Won’t Save Your Marriage Of Many Years

    For the first few years of marriage, sex just happens.

    Hurts and dashed expectations haven’t accumulated yet.

    A woman can’t simply shake off what’s eating at her.

    In a long-term relationship, your wife needs more than kisses and passion.

    She needs all 4 layers of intimacy (mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical).

    That’s why sex won’t save your marriage if you’ve been together for a long time.

    It’s easy to ignore this.

    You just want to get to the good part where everyone climaxes!

    There’s no avoiding the underlying issues if you want to bring intimacy back. 

    One of the hardest things for a man is to open his heart without sex.

    Dam, it’s hard.

    But that’s what you need to do right now.

    Because your wife’s body opens to your heart, not your hard on.

    You need to behave as a man who’s getting plenty of sex.

    Do Women Always Lose Desire For Sex In Marriage?

    For your wife, wanting sex and wanting sex with you are two different things.

    Husbands worldwide have been shocked to discover their wife was having an affair while their marriage was sexless.

    He assumed she had lost her sex drive.  

    What you need to know is that women are an extension of Mother Nature. 

    She is constantly leaving one season and moving into another.

    The same is also true of her sexuality.

    In my book, I explain the five different seasons your relationship goes through.

    I also explain what you can do to ignite her passion at each stage.

    For example, a date in stage 2 will get her juices going.

    By stage 3, you’d better know how to lead a deeper connection on that date, or it will end flat.  

    In short, your masculine energy needs to mature as she moves into each stage.

    Masculine is always attractive to feminine, but not when he’s acting immature.

    Mature masculinity can give her space without taking it personally.

    He can celebrate when she has a fun day with her friends, even if he wasn’t along.

    She needs to feel you can celebrate her right where she is.

    A man who can enjoy where his wife is right now feels attractive to her.

    He knows how to lead the 4 levels of intimacy, especially emotional intimacy.

    When he does, his presence feels like a magnet she can’t resist.

    Sex Won’t Save Your Marriage, But Here’s What Can

    Here are 5 goals to restore passionate intimacy in your marriage:

    1. Consistently live up to your standards and boundaries for yourself (and feel good about it)
    2. Let her moods (and your triggers) wash over you without reacting to them
    3. Choose a mindset of high regard whenever your wife doesn’t make sense
    4. Live like a happily divorced man
    5. Remain calm and unperturbed when she tests you. 

    Notice that being more agreeable and helping with dishes is not on the list.

    Your wife only complains about these things when her emotional love tank is empty.

    Feminine only shows her rough emotions to those she WANTS to trust and respect. 

    In all honesty, women tend to keep the full range of their emotions hidden from you in the early stages of a relationship.

    Even she struggles to see what’s attractive about the storms she feels.

    If your wife of many years suddenly opens Pandora’s box of emotions with you, get happy! 

    She wants to feel safe with you again. 

    She’s testing to see how you respond, hoping you’ll respond in a way she can respect.

    How Nick Saved His Marriage

    Nick’s story is one of hope. 

    He learned happiness comes from within you, not from others. 

    He joined a group of men who were intentional about being more loving, confident, and emotionally skilled. 

    These men helped Nick understand that the lack of sex was an invitation to meet Christine where she was. 

    He learned to lead emotional, mental, and spiritual intimacy with her by learning how to lead it in himself. 

    These experiences softened Christine.

    She started opening up.

    She wanted to spend more time with him. 

    After a few months, their sex was the best they had ever had.  

    On its own, sex won’t save your marriage, but how Nick handled it sure can!

    How You Can Address Underlying Issues In Your Marriage

    There isn’t enough space in these articles to give you what you need.

    You need someone to actively engage with.

    The work of becoming the man you want to be is a deep dive.

    It’s intense.

    I’m up for the challenge, are you?

    This could be the best thing you’ve ever done for your relationship and family.

  • Masculine Leadership Is Sexy (Even to Strong Independent Women)

    Masculine Leadership Is Sexy (Even to Strong Independent Women)

    I want you to know that masculine leadership is sexy even if your wife is a very alpha, driven person. That’s secret# 5 in my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets. (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX) This article is not for the controlling jackass who bosses his wife around or treats women with disrespect. Quite opposite. The tips you’re about to learn ARE for the man who mistakenly thought letting his wife wear the pants in the relationship would make her happy. Even if your wife has a stubborn streak, deep down, she feels leadership is sexy.

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    Masculine Leadership Is Sexy (Even to Strong Independent Women)

    Why Kate Was Unhappy In Her Marriage

    Kate looked up from her phone and asked, “What do you want for dinner?”

    Travis almost didn’t hear her.

    He was lost in his laptop, browsing new real estate listings.

    “I don’t care. Whatever is easy”, Travis replied with a smile.

    Kate said, “We have some leftover meatloaf. Or I could do a casserole”.

    Travis’s eyes stayed on his computer.

    He had no idea Kate was seeking his masculine leadership.

    He was more interested in the new listing he just found.

    “Whatever you want, honey. If one of those is near the front of the fridge, just warm that up”, he suggested.

    “Think we could watch a nature show tonight? It’s been a while since we’ve done that. Or we could go for a drive and look at Christmas lights!”, Amy said with enthusiasm.

    “Maybe”, Travis mumbled as he tried to cut and paste an address from his web browser.

    Kate’s voice got serious, “I just think we need to prioritize making efforts for our relationship.”

    “Huh?”, Travis said, confused.

    Kate’s face got emotional.

    Her throat tightened as she said, “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one fighting for us. I always have to fight alone”.

    Travis tried to make sense of how the conversation went from dinner to prioritizing their relationship.

    He felt himself getting angry.

    “Kate, you’re a strong, independent woman. You love plowing your own way through life. The battles you fight, you bring on yourself”, he scolded disapprovingly.

    Hearing this did not sit well with Kate.

    Kate began walking out of the room.

    In a frustrated tone, she turned around and said, “Never mind.”

    Travis heard her walk into their bedroom and close the door.

    About an hour later, his mind was still foggy as he tried to process his conversation with Kate.

    He felt a little resentful that she didn’t make him anything to eat.

    While he warmed up some meatloaf in the microwave, he could hear a nature show coming from the TV in their bedroom.

    Yay!

    Dinner in bed would be fun.

    Travis brought his plate to bed and nestled next to Kate.

    She fell asleep moments later.

    He finished the episode by himself.

    This wasn’t the fun, connected, sexy evening he had hoped for.

    Masculine Leadership Is Sexy, Management Is Not

    Each time Kate brought up a question, Travis tried to avoid leadership by putting the choice back on her.

    Management is a form of damage control.

    You’ll never be responsible for damage if other people make the choices!

    In the business world, a manager has one job: Use the systems in place to keep the show going.

    The leader of a company looks broad range.

    A leader ensures effort is spent on the right problems based on where he wants the company to go.

    Without leadership, managers can end up straightening chairs on a sinking Titanic, assuming effort=success.

    You’ll win the battle but lose the war.

    The same applies to your marriage.

    Here are the replies Travis gave his wife in the story above:

    • “I don’t care”
    • Whatever is easy”
    • “Whatever you want honey”
    • “Maybe”
    • “Huh?”

    Do those sound like words of leadership to you?

    Those replies were attempts to put out small fires.

    That’s what managers do.

    Even the strongest, most independent, business-minded woman wants to relax.

    Her sexuality goes offline if she isn’t relaxed.

    Leadership allows her to relax and step out of the guessing game.

    She can’t do that with a manager.

    Every time Kate bounced options off Travis, she wanted him to make a choice.

    She wanted to relax in his masculine leadership.

    Travis didn’t step up, and that’s when her emotions changed from “What do you want to eat?” to “sometimes I feel like I’m the only one fighting for us”.

    Your wife wants the GOOD feeling of knowing she just gave you something you really wanted.

    Saying, “Just warm up whatever happens to be the fridge” robs her of that good feeling.

    It’s very selfish to not know what you want

    How Travis Could Have Shown Masculine Leadership

    Especially for guys married to strong, independent women, letting her make the choices in the house feels easy.

    Deep down, these men are afraid she won’t like him if he faces her strong will.

    He’s afraid that saying what he really thinks will just be used against him.

    Here’s how Travis could have lead Sexy, FUN leadership:

    • “Meatloaf sounds great! Let’s have that.”
    • “No, we can’t look at Christmas lights tonight. We will next weekend. It will be fun!”
    • “You feel like you’re fighting all your battles alone? I’m sorry, that sounds exhausting. Let’s talk about it after I get out of the shower tonight when I’m not distracted.”

    A unique difference between masculine leadership vs feminine leadership is that masculine leadership is CONSISTENTLY based on values, boundaries, and standards, NOT emotions.

    Your leadership is still a gift even if she protests with comments like, “I don’t want meatloaf. I’d rather have a casserole.”

    Here’s why: She didn’t know what she wanted until you did.

    Feminine energy finds her truth when contained by strong masculine leadership

    Just as a river can’t reach the ocean without river banks, feminine can’t know what she wants or where she’s going until she encounters your clear choices

    In her article, “What Every Man Should Know About Women,” Author and mentor Teal Swan reveals how women live in constant fear.

    A woman’s fear is biologically woven into who she is as a feminine person.

    Strong independent women get tired of fending for themselves, but will struggle to let their armor down if they don’t feel safe.

    When a man consistently “contains” his wife’s emotions by taking ownership of the situation, it provides the woman with a sense of safety.

    Travis and Kate: A Few Months Later

    Travis had a mind-jolting insight into the obvious: What he was doing wasn’t working.

    He confided his frustrations with another man whom he respected.

    Once a week, they would meet at a local diner to talk about what was happening in Travis’s marriage.

    This wasn’t a time for complaining about their wives.

    These were times to connect and get clear on how to create trust and safety using masculine leadership.

    Travis began to realize most of his frustrations with Kate came from his own ways of thinking about her.

    When Travis’s mentor spoke to him man-to-man, everything made sense.

    Leadership and confidence weren’t something he had to go find, they were things he needed to stop holding back.

    Travis went on to create an intimate, fun-filled relationship with Kate.

    His only regret was that he let himself suffer for so many years before seeking the mentorship of an experienced man.

    How To Grow Your Masculine Leadership Right Now

    I take genuine, successful men through a field-tested process of masculine confidence development.

    Plant your feet on the solid ground of your values, boundaries, and personal standards by committing to this work.

    You’ll feel good stepping up as a natural leader in your relationship.

    Masculine leadership is sexy, and your wife wants to experience it.

  • Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It

    Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It

    Begging and pleading never help a struggling marriage because the urgency to fix your marriage will end it. That’s secret #4 of my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX).

    When I take you through my Masculine Confidence Framework, your calm inner man starts to emerge around session four. This version of yourself is emotionally grounded. A steady heartbeat, clear thoughts, and some swagger in your footsteps are noticeable. Like a movie scene when the hero walks away from an explosion without looking back, the thought of losing your wife no longer crumbles you. Slow and steady wins the marriage-saving race. Watch the video below or keep reading for a real-life example.

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    Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It

    Andrew Learned The Hard Way That Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It

    Andrew felt like a dagger was being pushed through his gut. 

    He was lying face down, motionless in bed.  

    His wife, Christy, was packing up the last of the food in the kitchen. 

    Their dog zipped around the room, excited for the car ride home. 

    They were at a lake cabin Andrew rented to celebrate their 7th wedding anniversary. 

    Outside, the December sun melted a crisp morning frost.  Inside, the silence was ominous. 

    Not a single fiber in Andrew wanted to get up. 

    He turned and noticed the full-wall mirror along the bed. 

    His gut sank deeper. 

    All hopes of having intimate lovemaking by this mirror the night before were shattered.

    The wine by the bed was unopened…the lingerie on the chair was unused…the roses on the table were ignored.

    Christy walked over to the bed. “Are you ready to go?” she asked.

    Andrew managed to follow Christy out to the car. 

    They passed a hand-drawn sign with their names on it. 

    The words “Happy Anniversary, Andrew & Christy” had welcomed their arrival 2 days prior. 

    Andrew’s blood ran cold as he tried to comprehend how badly the weekend had gone. 

    How Andrew Accidentally Created The Worst Anniversary Of His Life

    Three months ago…

    That’s when Christy’s emotional affair with her co-worker first came out. 

    Andrew’s initial pain of betrayal lifted when Christy broke off the connection with her affair partner.

    At that time, Christy told Andrew she wanted to work on their marriage.

    Andrew franticly scoured the web for a marriage counselor and booked a session. 

    He poured through YouTube videos about “how to save your marriage”. 

    He read blog after blog about “how to re-attract your wife”.  

    Every time he discovered a new “hack” he would use it on his wife. 

    He…

    • Took her on a hot air balloon ride attempting to re-create an adrenaline-infused positive experience with her
    • Showered her with love notes, surprise visits at work with coffee, flowers, long foot rubs, phone calls, and constant “I love you” texts just like when they were dating
    • Took old photos and made tear-jerking slide shows for her
    • Brought her to locations they had previously made good memories at
    • Bought her cute outfits and gifts
    • Took over doing the dishes, laundry, meals, and shopping
    • Flooded her with attention and deep emotional conversations

    Every spare moment Christy had, Andrew was by her side.  

    Andrew had one target in mind: He would have his marriage fixed by their anniversary. 

    He took great lengths to ensure the cabin he rented had everything Christy loved.  

    The whole weekend was carefully planned out. 

    A bubble bath, back rub, candles, music, new lingerie… Mathew felt confident going into the weekend they would have sex for the first time in months.

    All his expectations came crashing down as every attempt to seduce Christy over the weekend resulted in her turning away.

    She gave the dog plenty of affection, but Andrew’s craving for a kiss, cuddle, or any kind of acknowledgment went unmet. 

    Your Wife Is Not A Guinea Pig For Marriage Saving Hacks

    Andrew didn’t say a word as he and Christy drove home from the cabin. 

    Despite months of trying every marriage-saving hack he could find on the internet, their marriage was no better off. 

    When they arrived home, Andrew left Christy to unpack. 

    He took their dog into a travel trailer in the backyard and curled up on the bed. 

    Several hours later, Christy found him there.  She knocked and quietly entered.

     After sitting down on the edge of the bed she said, “Andrew, if we divorce, who gets the dog?”

    “How can you say that?”, Andrew replied. 

    Although he was bummed their marriage wasn’t fixed, hearing the word “divorce” was too much to take in. 

    Was she suggesting their marriage was over?

    Christy spoke again, “I’m just wondering… If we were to separate, how would we raise the dog?”

    Tears started streaming down Andrew’s face. 

    This kind of talk was NOT ok. “Don’t ever say that. We’re not getting a divorce. You’re my wife, forever. We’re Christians and don’t believe in divorce”, Andrew said firmly. 

    Christy got up and walked out. 

    She divorced Andrew before the month ended. 

    Why Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It (And What To Do Instead)

    The story about Andrew is an example of what NOT to do. 

    There are no magic hacks, gifts, or words that will make your wife want to be with you.

    Those behaviors feel smothering at this point of marriage collapse. 

    There has to be a change in energy.

    Remember those giant bubble-making wands from when you were a kid? 

    After dipping it in soapy water, you had to slowly open it and let a slight breeze blow through it. 

    Go too fast, and the bubble would pop. 

    A slow, steady motion would make massive bubbles. 

    This is what your marriage is like. 

    Love and attraction are delicate.

    Addressing your urgent anxiety, fear, loneliness, expectations, and low self-esteem is what you need to be working on.

    Until you become a calm, confident, outcome non-dependent man, everything you try with your wife will have undertones of urgency. 

    Frantically trying every new marriage tip when your relationship is on the rocks will keep popping her love bubble.

     Behaving erratically like this leaves her confused about who you are.

    A confused woman can’t make a clear choice if she’s in or out.

    So here’s what you’re going to do about it: SLOW DOWN.

    These 5 questions will help you slow down:

    1. What if you believed what’s happening now is supposed to happen to get you where you’re supposed to be? (Did you just gloss over that? Read it again.)
    2. If you pause your reactions, what response would you choose?
    3. What’s a narrative about “right now” that feels better than your current story?
    4. How can you be self-reliant in order to give yourself what you need right now?
    5. What outcome are you attached to that you have no control over?

    Right now, your mind is racing to every possible worst outcome.

    It’s getting stuck on things you can’t control.

    You probably can’t even focus at work or sleep more than 3 hours.

    There are so many hopes you’re clinging to that need to be let go of.

    That’s the real issue right now, not your marriage.

    A Paradox: Urgency To Fix Your Marriage Will End It… BUT Letting It Go Can Save It

    I see it over and over with the men I work with…

    The man finally gets secure enough to let the marriage go… Then she circles back!

    It takes balls of steel to let someone you love go free.

    You can’t fake this kind of confidence.

    Your urgency to fix your marriage will end it because it oozes out of you, making her feel pressured.

    It leaks out of your eyes, breathing, movements, and tones.

    It’s needy and unattractive.

    What you need is real, internal change.

    A new way of thinking and a new framework to live by.

    Masculinity coach Mark Drezga and I help you make this deep internal change in our “The Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course“. 

    Click HERE to join an outstanding, value-based group of men. 

    Check out the energy in this video where men give their honest feedback.

    Can you sense the vibe of leadership and clarity they gained? 

    These are confident men who can create the marriage they want. 

    How Andrew Created An Amazing Life

    95% of men turn to porn, alcohol, or sex to numb the pain of rejection.

    These guys end up re-creating the same dynamics from their first marriage in their next relationship.  

    Andrew wasn’t this kind of man. 

    He joined the ranks of the 5% club and committed to addressing the underlying issues that destroyed his marriage. 

    Through the guidance of a seasoned mentor, Andrew gained a mindset that put him back in the driver’s seat of his life. 

    Christy’s divorce was a gift. 

    Andrew may never have committed to making deep internal changes if he hadn’t gone through the pain of losing his wife. 

    Although Christy had already filed for divorce, she noticed these changes in Andrew in the months that followed. 

    She liked it. 

    She wanted to go on adventures, meet up for coffee, and share her feelings with Andrew again.

    You might be surprised to learn Andrew did not take her up on this. 

    His clarity about what he wants, tolerates and values gave him certainty about the kind of woman he allows into his life. 

    Urgency to fix your marriage will end it.

    Resolving your anxious, deadline-driven expectations can bring about the attractive energy you both want.

    Lead your relationship to calmer, warmer waters by taking this next step. 

  • Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy (And How to Fix It)

    Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy (And How to Fix It)

    Many men, after being married to their wives for 18+ years, are wondering why she’s pulling away from intimacy. Is she ok? Am I ok? Are we ok? These are the thoughts of a frustrated, rejected husband. Let’s unpack what’s going on in this 3rd installment of my 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.

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    End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent

    Secret# 3: End Sexual Neediness – The Pungent Wife Repellent.

    (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX)

    Matthew’s Advances Fell Flat

    The sun was out, the weather was perfect, and Matthew felt good.

    If the sky stayed clear, he’d finish painting the house.

    Even better, his wife, Amy, would be home soon from her graveyard shift.

    They had plans for coffee together, a rare moment of connection after ten days of barely seeing each other.

    But Matthew wasn’t just excited for coffee; he was horny.

    The thought of getting tangled up with Amy before they left made him smile.

    Then Amy walked in.

    No hello.

    No eye contact.

    Just walked right past him.

    Matthew followed her into the bedroom, hopeful.

    She let out a deep sigh.

    He stepped behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and groped.

    Amy stepped away.

    She walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

    The Reason Why She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy Isn’t What You Think

    Thirty minutes later, Matthew and Amy sat in silence at a coffee shop.

    Matthew was irritated.

    He’d had his mind set on sex, and it hadn’t happened.

    Amy was even quieter than usual.

    Trying to fill the dead air, Matthew talked about his plans to finish painting.

    A tear slid down Amy’s cheek.

    “Why are you crying, Amy?” he asked, setting his coffee down.

    Amy stared off.

    “Come on, Matthew. You should know me well enough by now. I shouldn’t have to say.”

    Matthew replayed the morning in his mind.

    What had he missed?

    Amy finally broke the silence. “I need you to care about me.”

    Her voice was as cold as her untouched coffee.

    Matthew was stumped and annoyed!

    Didn’t he just try to have sex with her an hour ago?

    Didn’t that prove he cared?

    “Maybe you just need some sleep,” he suggested.

    Amy shook her head, eyes narrowing. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do.”

    Matthew clenched his jaw.

    His patience was thin.

    “This is BS,” he thought.

    Arms crossed, determined to defend himself, he snapped: “Well, I do care about you, so I don’t know what your problem is.”

    Amy turned her face as another tear ran down her cheek.

    Pro Tip: If Matthew had simply said, “I hear you. What else are you feeling?” he could’ve stopped this crash before it happened. A woman’s words aren’t a conclusion; they’re the tip of the iceberg to something else she’s feeling.

    How Matthew Made Matters Worse

    That evening, Matthew was feeling better.

    The house painting had gone great.

    But he was still horny as hell.

    Amy slept most of the day.

    Even now, she was curled up in bed.

    Matthew stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, and slid under the sheets next to her.

    He kissed her neck.

    She barely responded.

    “Come on, Amy. I’m gonna sleep like shit if we don’t have sex.”

    Amy sighed… that long, exhausted sigh Matthew had grown to hate.

    “Okay, fine. Just do your thing.”

    This was the kind of sex they had been having lately.

    Matthew hated it.

    Amy hated it.

    But here’s what Matthew didn’t understand: his need to relieve his horniness was all Amy could feel from him.

    Pro Tip: Your wife wants to feel your sexual desire, not your sexual neediness. There is a difference!

    If you don’t understand why she’s pulling away from intimacy, it’s time to notice the energy you bring to the room.

    A man full of sexual desire is playful, can tune into the present moment, and can create emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.

    Women love this guy!

    A man full of sexual neediness is laser-focused on getting to orgasm.

    He counts the days since they last had sex.

    He tries to get his wife to feel sorry for him when they don’t have sex.

    Women can’t stand this guy.

    How Matthew Fixed the Intimacy Issues in His Marriage

    If your marriage is like Matthew’s, there are some things you need to STOP doing.

    Stop doing things like:

    • Needing to be right.
    • Using her body as an outlet to get off
    • Trying to rationalize her into having sex
    • Getting upset when she’s not in the mood
    • Insisting she’s doing something wrong to you when she turns away

    That conversation Matthew and Amy had at the coffee stand?

    That could have led to an intimate moment.

    Matthew only needed to hold space for Amy to sort out her feelings with him.

    But he didn’t.

    He reacted, and she shut down.

    Tears indicate that there is more she wants to share, but she doesn’t feel safe to.

    Never mistake this cue.

    The reason why she’s pulling away from intimacy isn’t the first reason she says.

    If your woman’s eyes get glossy, she wants to open up; if only you could handle it.

    Thankfully, Matthew realized this cycle would destroy his marriage and got help.

    He found a mentor who guided him.

    And that’s when everything changed.

    He stopped letting his horniness override his awareness of how Amy was feeling.

    He learned to create a connection in moments that used to trigger his defensiveness.

    Amy felt his presence again.

    She felt his sexual desire, not his sexual neediness.

    And that’s when intimacy started to flow naturally again.

    Your Next Step If She’s Pulling Away From Intimacy

    You can’t hold space for another if you’re not rock-solid in yourself.

    The confidence you display when your wife pulls back is what attracts her to get close again.

    You can gain the same attractive masculine energy Matthew achieved in our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

    Join an amazing group of men and learn to lead intimacy in marriage with confidence!

    If you’re ready to break free from frustration, rebuild attraction, and restore the deep, passionate intimacy you once had with your wife, then it’s time to step up. 

  • Emotional Pressure: The Silent And Deadly Marriage-Killer

    Emotional Pressure: The Silent And Deadly Marriage-Killer

    Nothing shuts your wife down like emotional pressure. It’s the silent and deadly marriage-killer. That’s secret #2 in my series of 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX).

    There were many points in my marriage when I didn’t know what was happening.

    My wife would spiral out, and I couldn’t make any sense of it.

    It’s frustrating when you genuinely don’t know what to do next.  

    I was oblivious to how I had been adding emotional pressure.

    I explain more in this video:

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    Pressure: The Silent And Deadly Marriage-Killer

    Why Emotional Pressure Ruins Marriages

    Emotional pressure is the opposite of attraction. 

    Here are some common marriage-killing forms of emotional pressure that you don’t want to put on your wife. 

    • Making YOUR feelings her problem
    • Withholding praise as “punishment” for her behaviours
    • Listening to “fix the problem”, not to understand her perspective
    • Needing her to make up her mind
    • Doing things for her with unspoken expectations

    To women, these hidden agendas feel like a snake in the grass.

    It keeps her tense, on guard, and hesitant to open up.

    It feels like emotional pressure, the silent and deadly marriage killer.

    If your wife recently said she wants a divorce, then there’s a whole new level of pressure to remove:

    • Let go of needing specific outcomes for the marriage
    • Don’t resist the divorce process
    • Stop spending every free moment with her
    • Speak calmly and follow through on what you say

    Force anything (animal or human) to do something, and you’ll get the same result: Resistance. 

    External pressure = resistance.

    Internal pressure = motivation.

    When a woman feels her own internal pressure, she makes positive changes because she wants to.

    But she can’t feel her own internal pressure if you’re glued other side, following her around, and begging for her to change her mind.  

    3 Things You Can Do Right Now To Build INTERNAL (Good) Pressure In Your Wife

    1. Identify something you’ve been making your wife responsible for that is your responsibility. Is it meal plans? The schedule this weekend? Walking the dog? Leading your own happiness? Pick something, make a decision, and follow through on it. Remove the emotional pressure of needing her to decide.
    2. Stop explaining yourself. Every word that leaves your lips drains your wife’s batteries. Every word she says fills her back up. Practice listening. Make short statements, not full explanations. Use the silence to give your wife your undivided attention with your ears when she’s around. That means listen to understand, not to respond. Attention affects women the same way sex affects men. Sex in a long-term relationship is a byproduct of emotional intimacy. Listening is the first step to facilitating emotional intimacy. 
    3. Stop holding others accountable for how you feel. This is your life, and only you can live it. Are you secretly hoping your wife will want to go for a walk? Go for the walk yourself. Are you blaming your wife’s behaviours for your misery? Go do something you love. Stop waiting for other people to give you something for you to be ok. Take action on your own initiative.

    Your Next Steps To Removing Emotional Pressure

    There’s an effective process I take men through.

    I help you:

    • Unplug from your wife’s moods and plug into solid men
    • Get an upgraded mental map to manage your triggers
    • Gain new perspectives to address faulty core beliefs causing your fear and anxiety
    • Become a happy, confident, emotionally present man 
    • Get solid in your values so you can feel integrity and confidently set boundaries
    • Clarify what you want and how to create it (very important)

    You become the kind of man who can lead a woman through her emotions with ease. 

    These are the results of being in my “Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course”.

    Doing things for your wife, hoping for a specific outcome, feels like emotional pressure.

    It’s time to take your expectations off her and put them on yourself.

    When you can lead yourself back to happiness, you can lead your family back to happiness.

    Want help?

  • 6 Dangerously Effective Marriage-Saving Secrets

    6 Dangerously Effective Marriage-Saving Secrets

    This is the first in my series of 6 dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets (Use these links to see secrets ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, and SIX) I help extraordinary men create long-lasting love, deeper connection, intimacy, respect, and authentic affection through personalized masculine confidence coaching. The secrets I’m about to share are field-tested. They’ll bring lasting positive change to your relationships. 

    These Dangerously Effective Marriage-Saving Secrets Are Time-Proven

    I’ve been working with men in troubled marriages for years. 

    I’ve seen repeated patterns of trial and error.

    Many of my clients saved their marriages, even though their wives were ready to quit.

    That’s why I call these dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets… they really work!

    Let’s get into it.

    Secret 1: STOP Being A Wishy-Washy Husband 

    You watch a movie with your wife.

    Then she turns and asks, “Did you like it?”

    If you give a straight answer, great!

    You just provided something strong for her to feel about you.

    But if you said, “Well, I don’t know, babe… did you like it?”… then you avoided the question.

    Avoiding the question or leaving it open-ended feels wishy-washy to her.  

    It says you’re afraid to stand on your own two feet.

    Why does dropping wishy-washy behaviours save marriages?

    Because not having a clear opinion (or being quick to change it) feels manipulative to her.

    It feels slimy and controlling.

    She wants authenticity, not games.

    So why do we guys beat around the bush?

    If you’re like me, you’re hoping not to get in trouble.

    You don’t want to rock the boat.

    Her approval is important, and you don’t want to lose it.

    And that’s the real issue she senses.

    It makes her feel unsafe to be around you when you adjust yourself to try to gain something from her (like approval).

    Explaining Yourself Makes Her Lose Respect 

    A confident person says “yes” or “no” for one reason: Because that is what they want.

    Using a list of reasons to validate your choices feels wishy-washy.

    It makes her feel like you don’t trust your choice, so how can she?

    This sounds wishy-washy: “Honey, hopefully I’ll be home later tonight sometime if everything goes ok and traffic isn’t too bad.

    You’re avoiding a solid response so you don’t disappoint.

    And that’s the deeper issue.

    Your wife can sense that you fear disappointing her, and that affects your sex life.

    It’s hard for her body to soften to a man who walks on eggshells, hoping not to rock the boat.

    This sounds confident: “Honey, I’m planning to be home by 6:00. I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

    No list of reasons.

    No holding others responsible.

    Just a clear statement.

    It can totally change your relationship.

    That’s why ending wishy-washy behaviors ranks as one of my dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets.

    Feminine Needs You To Be Direct

    In my youth, I played basketball with my friends.

    Our church gym had carpet floors… it made it hard to dribble the ball!

    Imagine your wife is dribbling a basketball. 

    The basketball is her feminine energy. 

    When the ball hits something firm, she can dribble the ball. 

    When the ball hits something soft, her need for safety hijacks her brain.

    A female’s sexual desire goes offline without safety. 

    She needs to feel your firmness to feel safe. 

    Your firmness is what polarizes her desires.

    Without opposites, there can be no polarity.

    What’s the opposite of being clear, direct, and firm?

    Being indecisive, emotional, and prodding… So expect this from your wife!

    It’s how she bounces her basketball off you.

    She’s testing if your behaviors are safe, no matter what hits you. 

    She’s giving you a “dribble test”.

    I explain more in this video:

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    (Part 1) 6 Dangerously Effective Marriage-Saving Secrets

    Walking on eggshells, avoiding conflict, answering indirectly, using a passive-aggressive tone – Those are traits of the wishy-washy husband!

    I lived this way most of my marriage. 

    I didn’t even know there were dangerously effective marriage-saving secrets to practice.

    It sucked. 

    It felt like a confusing, illogical, no-win rollercoaster.

    Being wishy-washy around your wife won’t stop until you lean on your own worth more than outside approval.

    Your Next Step To End Wishy-Washy Behaviours

    Do you beat around the bush when your wife needs a clear answer?

    Changing how you talk is the first step.

    But the real issue is deeper, and that’s what you need to work on.

    Ask yourself these 3 questions:

    1. What do I secretly try to gain by tiptoeing around my wife?
    2. What do I fear will happen if I speak my truth plainly?
    3. How would I address people if I trusted my intentions more than others’ interpretation of them?

    Wishy-washy tendencies are a symptom of a deeper fear.

    I’ll help you face that fear so being direct becomes natural for you.

  • What To Do If Your Wife Never Wants Sex

    What To Do If Your Wife Never Wants Sex

    If your wife never wants sex, there is an attraction problem, not a performance problem. Sure, hormones and life stages can have an effect, but your wife is a sexual person when she feels attraction. You’re about to read two stories. They will help you understand how attraction works in a long-term relationship.

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    Emergency Video For Husbands Not Having Intimate Sex

    Bass, Sunshine, Mosquitoes, and Sex…

    A fly just flew in through my front door.

    There’s a rainstorm brewing outside.

    Flies are extra clingy in this weather, especially this one.

    It’s landed on my arm and wiggled into my hair several times.

    It won’t leave me alone.

    I want to kill it.

    I feel my whole body closing up as I get angry.

    It’s buzzing on my head, and I’m ready for war.

    If your wife never wants sex, don’t be a fly.

    Your horniness can feel annoying when it’s buzzing all over her, trying to “get some”.

    Her body closes, and she can’t get aroused.

    A mature man understands that his horniness is his to manage.

    Your horniness (along with your emotions) are not your wife’s responsibility to take care of.

    Don’t agree?

    You can have your own opinion.

    You might say, “It’s a wife’s responsibility to take care of her husband’s sexual needs”.

    Keep that belief, watch intimacy dry up, or keep reading.

    Don’t Be A Mosquitoe If Your Wife Never Wants Sex

    We talked about flies.

    Now, let’s talk about mosquitoes.

    I think you know where this is going, lol.

    Here’s the story…

    Years back, I hiked to a remote lake before sunrise.

    I planned to bass fish from shore… cast a few lines in, take a swim, and soak up some sun.

    The sun rose, and the bass started biting!

    Then something else started biting.

    Mosquitoes.

    Millions of them.

    I tried to cover up every inch of my body. 

    My bare hand on the reel got slaughtered.

    Did I want to rip my shirt off and go for a swim?

    Hell no!

    The sun was out and everything.

    But not a shred of me wanted my skin exposed to those blood-sucking little bastards.

    Back to your wife never wanting sex… are you poking her like a mosquito, wondering why she keeps her skin covered?

    Your wife always has the proper juices to desire physical intimacy with you.

    But, when you pelter her with your needs, you’re shooting your own foot.

    • The need to be right
    • The need to get off
    • The need to know why
    • The need to be chosen
    • The need to have her get clear

    These needs feel like a thousand mosquitoes under the sheets.

    Any wonder her body isn’t responding to your touch?

    How To Be A Man Your Wife Can’t Get Enough Of

    Seduction tactics and advice for attracting women for dates will not work on your wife!

    There is a proven process for being the kind of man who is attractive in a long-term relationship vs dating. 

    It’s 14 steps of deep masculine development.

    You go from being a nice guy to being a confident husband.

    You become unapologetic about your sexuality and how to manage your own needs.

    Be amazed at how your wife changes when you remove the flies and mosquitoes!

    But it’s not just about acting differently around her; it’s about changing your relationship with your needs.

    The inside work is what matters most.

    No mask or faking it will fool your wife of many years.

  • Why Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex

    Why Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex

    Discussing why your wife acts grossed out during sex is a vulnerable, sensitive topic. I’m going to get graphic! This article is specifically for the husband whose wife has grown repulsed by him finishing during sex. No man wants to make his wife feel repulsed by him. I know firsthand what it’s like. Feeling isolated. Feeling like there’s something bad or wrong with you. Let me help you see things differently so you know what to do about it.

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    When Your Wife Shames You For Ejaculating: 2 Causes (Explicit)

    Sam Used To Be In “Lover’s Paradise”

    Sam’s wife, Heather, lay comfortably naked on a fuzzy blanket by the fireplace.

    Her skin was soft and warm from soaking in the bath.

    As Sam’s hands spread lotion up her freshly shaved legs, her her eyes closed.

    Starting at her toes and working his way up, he could feel her relax.

    Heather’s legs spread open.

    Gently, he rubbed the sides of her hips, then pushed his palm from her lower tummy straight up to her chest, then back down.

    She arched.

    Her curves shadowed by the flickering fire.

    Sam placed his palms on either side of her belly button, holding steady pressure.

    He could see she was getting wet.

    Sam brushed her labia as he slid his hands back down the insides of her legs.

    Suddenly, her legs wrapped around him, and she pulled him in closer.

    Heather’s hands unbuttoned Sam’s pants.

    She looked at him with begging eyes and pleaded, “I want to feel you inside me”.

    A while later, their passionate writhing had Sam cumming.

    “Yes! Yes!” Heather moaned.

    “I want all of you, every inch!”

    Heather used her fingers to spread his juices all over herself in ecstasy.

    She smiled and said, “I love having you all over me.”

    Now, Sam’s Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex

    Imagine the same scenario as before.

    But now candles are burning, and soft music is playing.

    Sam massages his wife’s muscles into jello.

    He touches her lips with his finger and leans in for a kiss.

    As their lips touch, tears run down Heather’s cheeks.

    “I feel nothing,” she said, then got up and walked out of the room.

    The next weekend, Sam and Heather were at it again.

    They both lay in bed kissing and cuddling.

    As desire grew, Sam slipped his hard manhood inside her.

    They arched together.

    Soon, both Heather and Sam climaxed together.

    After Sam came, Heather’s face held a look of disgust.

    “I’ll be leaking your juices for the rest of the day… This is GROSS!” she snapped.

    Heather rolled out of bed to shower.

    When she came back, she crawled into bed facing the wall with her back to Sam and went to sleep.

    This was happening more and more lately.

    The month prior, Sam had pulled out and finished on her chest.

    She had the same reaction then.

    Why was his wife so grossed out during sex?

    She used to LOVE him finishing on her.

    What changed?

    Was he doing something wrong?

    The answer is both simple and complex.

    Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex Because She’s Not Turned On

    Women’s sexuality “opens” and “closes” (This is not because of a wrong sex position or lube).

    This is the simple thing to understand.

    Men’s desire for sex goes up and down depending on sexual frequency.

    There’s one constant to be relied on with men: The longer it’s been since he’s had sex, the more strongly he can feel desire.

    Women are not wired this way. A “closed” Woman can go decades without desire.

    When a woman is “closed,” your morning wood makes you a pervert in her opinion.

    If she’s “opened,” she can’t keep her hands out of your pants.

    If your wife used to love when you finished (and now hates it), it’s a window into where SHE is.

    This is where it gets a little more complex.

    Your Wife Acts Grossed Out During Sex When She’s “Closed”

    In her book, “Open Her,” Karen Brody describes 7 masculine archetypes that “open” women.

    She talks about two ways women lose respect and sexual desire for a man.

    These two ways are:

    1. Going for sex after your wife hasn’t been treating you well.
    2. Proceeding with sex when the first initial touch or kiss was obviously not well received by her.

    If you go for sex after your wife mistreats you, it shows low self-worth.

    See yourself as the prize.

    Don’t give yourself to her when she’s been nasty to you.

    If you do, she’ll grow to resent your touch.

    She’ll think to herself, “He has no standards… why should I even give effort to be a better wife?”

    When your wife acts grossed out during sex, it’s because you missed the early signals that said STOP.

    Did she wince when you put your hand on her arm?

    Did she turn her face when you went in for the kiss?

    Was she complaining about a headache?

    These are all signs she is NOT in the mood.

    See how your wife acts grossed out during sex because she wasn’t desiring it in the first place?

    For guys, we get turned on by doing sexual stuff.

    Your wife doesn’t have this ability.

    She has to be turned on FIRST.

    For the confident, attractive man, sex is never transactional.

    A man with high self-esteem takes sex off the table when his standards for engagement are not met.

    Sex is his awesome gift.

    He only gives it at the right time.

    But most men are looking at this backwards.

    They think SHE is the one rejecting him from good, intimate sex.

    Thinking this way is a reversal of leadership.

    YOU are the gatekeeper of intimacy.

    YOU take sex off the table when your wife acts grossed out during sex.

    Not to be mean, but to show you won’t settle for less than the best.

    It also means you lovingly lead her to something besides sex when she’s not in the mood.

    Something you both can still enjoy.

    A conversation.

    An adventure.

    Maybe just listening.

    Until a man can show this self-value for himself, SHE won’t be able to feel respect for him.

    And women don’t sexually desire men they don’t respect.

    Your Wife Is Helping You Connect To The Present Moment

    When a man’s sex drive is full throttle, it’s easy for his mind to be in la-la land.

    Presence is the opposite.

    And without presence, your wife will feel like a used blowup doll.

    How your wife responds to you is calling you to tune into the NOW.

    She’s challenging you to the edge of your personal growth.

    What are your boundaries?

    How much do you value yourself?

    When your wife acts grossed out during sex, how will you respond?

    You won’t know where you stand on these things until you’re challenged by feminine.

    Going at it like rabbits isn’t growth at all.

    When she shames you for ejaculating, it’s calling on your leadership, sense of worth, and boundaries.

    Let’s Get Your Bedroom Steamy Again

    Has your partner brought you to the end of your wits?

    Good.

    You’re in the battlefield where kings are made.

    I help men in the battlefield become kings every day.

    If you’re ready to address the deeper issues in yourself, the ones keeping your marriage sexless and cold, reach out.

  • Walkaway Wife: Why You Need To STOP Chasing Her

    Walkaway Wife: Why You Need To STOP Chasing Her

    If you’ve been trying to get your walkaway wife back, I have news for you. The test results are in (and it’s stamped with a big “F”). Seventy percent of divorces are initiated by women. You know what that means? It means 70% of men were unable to stop the divorce. But you? You’re going to do the opposite of those 70%. Welcome to the 5% club, where marriages are restored to actually being loving and affectionate. Not because you tricked your wife into staying, like the 25% of men who avoided divorce but lost the passion… but because you stopped chasing her and became the kind of man she’s naturally drawn to.

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    Walkaway Wife: Why You Need To STOP Chasing Her

    Men Everywhere Are Being Blindsided By Divorce

    Most men never dreamed the girl they married would turn into a walkaway wife.

    Disbelief. Horror. Panic. 

    Those juices surge through his veins like acid when he hears, “I’m going to leave you”.

    • Why is she leaving?
    • Why didn’t she bring this up sooner?
    • Can’t we go to marriage counseling and fix this?
    • Is she saying she needs a separation to clear her head, or does she need a full-blown divorce?

    A walkaway wife is just as emotionally damaging as a gunshot wound.

    But running around like a headless chicken never helps… And that’s EXACTLY what most men do.

    They pull out all the stops.

    They flood her with everything she loved while dating.

    He cries, begs, pleads, argues, plays the victim, and then writes the most passionate love letter of his life.

    Do all those things, and you’ll join the 70% of men who never got their walkaway wife back.

    You need to understand why she’s pulling away.

    Then, how you should respond makes more sense.

    Why Your Bride Has Turned Into A Walkaway Wife

    24 months ago. 

    That’s how long ago she gave up and started imagining life without you. 

    Giving up felt like relief.

    Like a huge weight lifted off her shoulders.

    She opened herself up to get her needs met outside the marriage.

    Not sexually, emotionally.  

    Work, friends, activities, weekend getaways, counseling… those became her new sources of emotional intimacy. 

    You, on the other hand, were oblivious while focused on surviving the daily grind. 

    >>>Fast forward to now. 

    She has already grieved the loss of the marriage.

    An emotional bond has formed with others besides you.

    She’s already cried until there were no more tears, and it was probably two summers ago.

    That’s why she seems so cold and indifferent now.

    Leaving you? That’s old news to her.

    You feel like an ex-boyfriend or old business partner.   

    You, however, are NOWHERE near the same point as her.

    This is fresh and raw.

    You have a right to feel how you feel!

    Any man would feel the same.

    But acting on those feelings makes your walkaway wife want to rip the band-aid off.

    Why You Need To STOP Chasing Her

    I’ve worked with hundreds of men whose wives had one foot out the door.

    I’ve never seen a walkaway wife return because he smothered her with his unbound love.

    She’s not leaving because you don’t love her, so stop trying to prove it!

    She’s leaving because she no longer feels attracted to you.

    That’s what she means when she says, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

    It doesn’t matter if you still feel attracted to her.

    In this critical moment of marriage collapse, nearly all primal instincts of the male brain push her away (if acted on). 

    You see, all her reasons for wanting to leave you are tied to a common female experience. 

    An experience that has less to do with you than she’ll admit. 

    Michele Weiner-Davis explains it perfectly in her article “The Walkaway Wife Syndrome”

    Right now, your wife genuinely thinks she has tried everything in her power to help you “wake up” and give her the deep emotional connection and sense of belonging she craves. 

    She did this by following her immature female instincts of arguing, complaining, giving obligation sex, and taking on more responsibilities than she could handle.

    She thought being this way was an obvious cry for help.

    But those behaviours don’t create a deep emotional connection with a man.

    Any wonder she burned out?

    It’s why she’s “done”.

    If you try to chase her, it only makes her run away faster.

    The Attractiveness Of Letting Go

    Have you ever tried to catch a dog by chasing it? 

    I have. 

    Good luck! 

    When you BACK AWAY, the dog gets very curious about what you’re up to. 

    Run away from a dog, and it will be hot on your heels.

    I know what you’re thinking.

    “My wife is complaining that I haven’t been there for her. I need to close the gap, not back away!”

    Man-to-man lesson 101: Never take a woman’s words as a factual repair manual. She is saying what she feels like, not what you should do about it.

    Over the years, your wife has conceived a version of you in her head.

    This version has hardened like concrete. 

    Only one thing melts that version of you from her brain: time. 

    In time, experiencing a new version of you will give her new feelings about you.

    You need to give time and space for the old version to fade from her memory.

    But if you try to become someone she wants, you’ll lose your attractive edge.

    It’s time to go balls-to-the-wall, and be the man you’ve always wanted to be.

    Your #1 goal right now is to stop chasing her and start making bold, scary movements towards creating an amazing life YOU love.

    Women act on their own internal pressure. 

    Just hearing your voice and seeing your face right now is external pressure.

    That’s why space helps a walkaway wife forget what she grew to dislike about you.

    ONLY NON-REACTIVE, PRESENT, SAFE ENERGY COMING FROM YOU CAN INFLUENCE HER INTERNAL PRESSURE IN A POSITIVE WAY. 

    Stop doing anything that feels like external pressure to her.

    Hanging around her, inviting her to events, trying to guilt her into spending Christmas with you and the kids – that is all external pressure.

    It shows you care when you step aside from blocking what she thinks she needs.

    And what she needs right now is to have you fling the door wide open for her to walk out.

    Only a man who is very secure in himself can do this.

    The irony is that traits like security and confidence can only be built in the total absence of feminine support. 

    That’s what I teach men to develop when faced with a walkaway wife.

    Your value and sense of well-being must no longer be attached to your wife’s validation. 

    Have A Walkaway Wife? Do This Now

    Nothing is more effective in creating lasting change than man-to-man mentorship. 

    I challenge your thinking.

    I give you new mindsets.

    An open, deeper, authentic, confident version of yourself emerges.

    You’ll stop chasing your walkaway wife and start being a man women walk towards instead.

    Are you ready?

  • How To Know If Your Marriage Can Be Saved

    How To Know If Your Marriage Can Be Saved

    Here’s how to know if your marriage can be saved: If your wife has only experienced a version of you who provided for the family and wanted sex, then your marriage has hope! She hasn’t fully experienced masculine/feminine polarity with you yet. That polarity is the secret to attraction. And shoveling the sidewalk or changing oil in her car wasn’t that. This article explains 4 ways your marriage will fail without masculine/feminine polarity.

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    4 Reasons Your Marriage Will Fail Without Masculine/Feminine Polarity

    1. Without Masculine/Feminine Polarity, You Become Roommates

    Regardless of your gender, you feel attraction to what polarizes you.

    Opposites create polarity.

    Imagine a soft, sweet, affectionate woman who smells like strawberries.

    Her entire body is hairless, and she giggles in a high voice.

    Sound attractive?

    Opposites attract.

    The idea of masculine/feminine polarity is not a new concept.

    In Tony Robin’s article, “How to increase relationship polarity” he says, “When your relationship polarity becomes too similar, passion dies“.

    Harmony and polarity are not the same.

    Similar likes, dislikes, and perspectives is harmony.

    It’s what friends do… and roommates!

    Polarity is a spark.

    Where there’s Polarity, there’s energy.

    Polarity pulls you out of your comfort zone.

    It makes you feel sexual passion.

    A healthy relationship needs “spark” to fire on all cylinders.

    Asking how to know if your marriage can be saved is the wrong question.

    Asking how to have more masculine/feminine polarity is the right question. 

    2. Your Wife Cannot Relax Into Intimacy Unless She Feels Your Strong Containment

    Containment is not control.

    Containment is your protection.

    What would you do if thugs tried to break into your house?

    You would protect your family!

    That’s containment on a physical level.

    It’s time to learn how that looks on an emotional level.

    Your wife needs to know you can protect her emotionally, even from herself.

    She needs something to challenge to know where she stands.

    If you react or become defensive, you’re adding to the attack, not the containment.

    If you don’t handle her emotions with grace and presence, she doesn’t feel your masculine containment.

    Masculine/feminine polarity is created when your steady presence with her emotions relaxes her need to hide them.

    Your wife is fully capable of providing her own masculine containment.

    She can put her emotions in a box and only show you the parts she thinks you can handle.

    But this doesn’t feel feminine to her; it feels masculine.

    Polarity is lost.

    She feels like she has to be her own man to contain her emotional flow.

    A woman who has become her own man will grow resentful, angry, and burned out.

    Worst of all?

    She loses her desire for sex.

    Here’s how you restore masculine/feminine polarity by being the masculine container:

    • Stop reacting to her feelings and start responding from your values.
    • Take extreme ownership of her like you would a new car (this means being interested in what’s best for her and taking action so it happens).
    • Be quick to lead and to serve, but not to please (you don’t need momma to be happy for you to be happy).
    • Listen to what your wife says to understand it, not to give it answers or to fix it.

    Being this way grounds your relationship.

    And grounding is key for masculine/feminine polarity.

    3. Sexual Intimacy Needs An Initiator And A Reciever

    It’s time to stop complaining that your wife never initiates sex.

    Initiating is a masculine trait.

    Want her to be feminine?

    Be masculine by going first.

    Not just in the bedroom, across the board.

    A man who waits for his wife to plan the weekend, decide what’s for dinner, or figure out the holidays is not going first.

    He’s being a receiver.

    He’s reducing masculine/feminine polarity, and his sex life will suffer.

    Both men and women can embody masculine or feminine energy.

    There’s nothing wrong with switching roles sometimes.

    Getting STUCK in the opposite polarity is the problem.

    A man stuck in feminine energy will:

    • Grow passive, indecisive, and depressed
    • Feel like he’s at the mercy of those in his life
    • Blame others for how he feels
    • Let people walk over him
    • Avoid conflict like the plague
    • Hope and fantasize about sexual intimacy instead of leading it
    • Assume others are responsible for dealing with inconveniences in his life

    Why?

    Because in his heart of hearts, he is a king.

    You’re asking how to know if your marriage can be saved.

    I’m asking you if your wife has experienced you as a king.

    A king leads, does hard things, and takes responsibility for his actions.

    A king also does what’s best even if it makes him unpopular.

    Your relationship won’t survive unless someone takes charge in the realm of intimacy.

    That somebody is YOU.

    4. Until You Pass A Woman’s Tests, You Won’t Experience Her Full Depth Of Love

    When your wife complains about the toilet seat, she doesn’t want to talk about toilet seats.

    Little negs like this are how she tests to see how you handle it.

    Something totally unrelated is gnawing at her, and she’s testing how you respond.

    If you defend, explain, or avoid, she won’t bring up the real thing bothering her.

    That’s why you need to pass these small tests by not arguing or defending.

    Get curious and provide a safe space for her with your tone and presence.

    The real issue eventually comes out.

    A deeper layer opens, and so does her deeper love and sexual desire.

    Before she can totally let go in the bedroom, she needs to test how safe you are outside the bedroom.

    She feels masculine/feminine polarity when she can’t rock your boat over stupid stuff like toilet seats.

    How To Know If Your Marriage Can Be Saved With Masculine/Feminine Polarity

    If your wife has already experienced the best version of you and doesn’t like it, then your marriage probably can’t be saved.

    But if you know you could be so much better then the past, there is hope.

    I teach a highly effective process for becoming a man with polarizing masculine energy.

    • You learn a new way to think about your feelings.
    • You make choices from your non-negotiable values.
    • You stop orbiting around her approval and start creating the life you want
    • You become a man who is irresistible to women!

    Since feminine is wired to be a responder, you doing this work first is very effective.

    Masculine/feminine polarity is a natural occurrence. 

    Let’s talk about your current situation.