Staying connected to your own happiness should be your primary focus, not the results of the 5-minute quickie you just gave her.
What To Do If She’s Still Unhappy After
You can’t fix another person’s unhappiness.
You can only show them by example how to have a happy life.
Until you can be okay right where you are, as things are, you’re not in a position to lead the relationship anywhere better.
Feelings can be like clouds.
They block the sun from shining.
So much so, we can start to believe the sun will never shine again.
But this belief doesn’t mean the sun no longer exists.
Your inner well-being is always alive, even when your feelings cloud it over.
A man needs FAITH (even if it’s as small as a grain of mustard seed) that his wellbeing is still alive if he is to move mountains in his life on cloudy days.
If you’re ready to learn how to access that calm, confident center that leads naturally and magnetically, then reach out.
The feminine cannot fully trust or be attracted to an emotional noodle softer than hers.
Emotional Tussle Is the Foreplay She Needs
Men get turned on by visual and physical beauty.
Women? They’re turned on by having an emotional tussle.
When she can push up against you emotionally and feel that you’re solid, unshakable, present, and leading with clarity it sparks something deep.
It’s a form of seduction.
You are emotionally erect, penetrating through her feelings with calm, powerful direction.
That’s the foreplay her nervous system is dying for.
Not good-boy behaviors.
Not reactive asshole moves.
Just a man who stays in his own emotional lane.
What Secretly Turns Her On: A Man Rooted in His Mission
She lives in the now. Emotionally.
You, as the man, must live from the future you’re building.
What does that mean?
Even if right now she’s cold, distant, or closed off, you don’t let that define you.
You show up as the man who already lives in the amazing future you’re committed to.
Adventure. Passion. Freedom. Stability.
Whatever that vision is… Behave like it’s yours.
Embody it. Speak it. Prophesy it into the relationship by selling the vision.
This is how you create intimacy in an otherwise mundane marriage.
Ready to Become That Man?
This is the work I do with men every day.
Whether you want to save your marriage or attract real connection in your dating life, it starts with you being the grounded, calm, masculine leader she can feel in your tone and vibe.
Let’s talk about taking charge of love and romance in your marriage. I’ll help you see how restoring intimacy is a game of inches in a long-term relationship.
The Steps Towards Romance
A quick fix.
A magic pill.
That’s what we men like.
While dating, your partner was probably down for a quickie at the drop of a hat.
Those were good times!
But that’s history.
Leading love and romance back into a marriage of 18+ years won’t happen overnight.
This, my friend, is a game of inches.
Stop Killing Intimacy & Romance
Your wife’s affection, desire, and intimacy are fragile and delicate.
This does not mean you need to tiptoe around her feelings to, “get lucky”.
She needs you to meet her where she is and be content with that.
Besides, I don’t believe in luck- I create opportunity.
If you have a whopping 45 minutes to listen to me babble about taking charge of love and romance in your marriage, check out the video below.
In the video, I give you a list of ways to tell when you should take the lead and go for sex.
For those on a time budget, I’ll cut to the chase.
Forget how many steps or inches there are between your chest and hers.
Keeping score will keep you frustrated.
What you can do right now is STOP letting your horniness be the deciding factor for when you initiate sex.
Next, you can focus on understanding where SHE is right now and simply connect with her THERE.
Your relaxed presence and listening ear will move her one inch closer to intimacy at a pace that’s correct for her.
Sometimes it will be as fast as a few minutes.
Other times, it will be as slow as a few months.
If you’re watching the clock, your vibe of frustration and urgency will keep her at arm’s length indefinitely.
Just look at nature.
When the doe isn’t in heat, the buck is wasting his time trying to get her in the mood.
Graze in the pasture with her.
Jump in front of headlights.
Do epic, fun deer shit.
The breedin’ will happen when it’s breedin’ time.
Can’t I At Least Get A Hug Until Then?
Your wife will wrap her arm around you without thinking when she feels accepted by you.
Unlike deer, women don’t have to wait once a year to feel frisky.
She’s multi-orgasmic and capable of enough intimacy to make us beg for mercy.
She just needs to experience you as a secure man, so she can experience herself as a girl who wants that man.
Stuffing your feelings down doesn’t make you a man.
Neither does watching football, driving a Lambo, or arguing your logic to her.
Being a man means you are clear, focused, deliberate, and intentional.
You don’t need to be right or prove your worth.
You hold your head high and don’t let your feelings control your behaviors.
A man takes action.
He goes first.
He’s a leader and a shield to those who are vulnerable.
The true mark of a mature man is when you understand that all your fear, lack of confidence, urgency, and desperation come from your perspectives, not reality.
As far as intimacy goes, focus on being a mature man and let nature take its course.
If you want help in developing your masculine core, book a free “Get Grounded Now” call.
We’ll have a straightforward talk about my masculine confidence framework.
This process has helped countless men, and it might be just what you need to stop killing romance in your marriage.
Many sexually frustrated men don’t realize how they are preventing the intimacy they crave! Dive into this article or watch the video below to discover why women are drawn to confident, powerful men—not those who are sexually frustrated.
Sexually Frustrated Men Experience A Snowball Affect Of Rejection
Rejection from our wife can be frustrating, and this frustration can push her further away, creating a never-ending cycle of more rejection.
When our sexual energy is pent-up, it can feel like a problem that needs an immediate solution.
Being wildly horny in itself isn’t the problem.
How we act when we feel urgent is what turns our wife off.
Although an orgasm seems like an obvious solution, anytime we act desperate, needy, demanding, or mopey we are putting negative pressure on our wife.
Negative pressure is a HUGE libido killer for women.
Sexually frustrated men tend to use their own level of desire to determine if they should initiate intimacy.
This also leads to more rejection.
Our wife can sense if we are trying to make love because WE can’t handle our own instincts or if we are initiating because SHE is ripe for engaging it.
Acting on our feelings with no awareness of her emotional state is a guaranteed path to rejection.
She Wants Intimacy With A Man Who Holds His Power
I used to believe that my feelings were my wife’s job to take care of.
If I was hungry, she should feed me.
If I was horny, she should make love to me.
This mindset made me feel like a victim of her moods and dependent on her for my happiness.
Making others responsible for how we feel is a path to codependence, victimhood, neediness, and loss of power.
A man who takes responsibility for his own feelings talks differently.
He won’t say, “You’re making me angry” he will say, “I feel my anger”.
A man who gives his power away will say things like, “That person is making me feel disrespected”.
A man who holds his power will say, “My thoughts about that person are making me feel disrespected”.
Men who hold their power are attractive to women.
Your wife wants to sense that you can hold your emotions AND her emotions without giving your power away.
How To Stop Getting Rejected
Imagine there is a green light and a red light on every woman’s forehead.
If we try to initiate physical intimacy with our wife when the light is red, it will push her away.
My advice?
ONLY INITIATE WHEN HER LIGHT IS GREEN.
Nearly every guy I coach who is frustrated in the bedroom is initiating when she’s giving clear signals to stop.
We can’t turn her red light green by getting all cuddly and affectionate with her.
A woman’s desire for intimacy comes in seasons and she can’t just flip a switch to turn it on.
There’s no use in getting upset with her season, just like there’s no use in getting upset if it’s summer or winter.
There is an irony to this.
When we are happy, inspired, successful, and fun without her giving us sex the sooner her season changes.
How To Stop Acting Like Horny, Sexually Frustrated Men
Women are not attracted to horny, sexually frustrated men but they are attracted to sexy men.
Horny men can’t handle discomfort.
Sexy men face discomfort.
Horny men act impulsively.
Sexy men act deliberately.
Many “horny” men think they need sex 3 or 5 times a day.
Here’s the truth.
When we have BETTER sex, we crave sex less.
Better sex is enthusiastic, wild, connected, and erotic.
Before we can have better sex, we first need to lead emotional intimacy with our partner.
Not taking things personally and tuning into her emotions to validate them is how she feels emotional intimacy.
In my coaching, I teach you how to THINK to feel empowered by things that used to drive you crazy.
Don’t believe this helps?
Right now, imagine biting into a freshly cut lemon… Imagine your teeth squeezing the tart juice out as it drips down your lips… Did your mouth start to water?
Your mouth is watering because of the THOUGHT you just fed in your mind.
Sexually frustrated men need to feed new thoughts!
If you want a free consultation about how to stop being a sexually frustrated man in your marriage, fill out my “Get Grounded Now“ form, and let’s talk!
This article reveals some secrets to building erotic desire with your wife or girlfriend by mastering seduction.
Seduction is not about the art of picking up strange women.
Seduction is about the art of creating and maintaining feelings of positive emotional tension, including sexual tension.
Perhaps you have a fairytale version of love in your mind.
In this fairytale, your wife or girlfriend is magically affectionate, intimate, and sexual with you for 60 years… All because you’re such an easy-going, great guy!
This rarely happens.
Like it or not, seduction is a game.
Do you feel a negative reaction when you think of “players” who are good with women?
Don’t think of playing the game as being a slimy manipulator who tricks women into liking him.
Think of playing as something that is FUN for both of you.
If you’ve ever had sex, you are already a player in the game of seduction.
The OUTSIDE Game Of Seduction
Pickup artists use OUTSIDE game to meet and have sex with new women effectively.
These men know how to tease, be mysterious, and make her feel understood.
They get her desires burning through playfulness.
The female mind loves the tease, temptation, emotions, and illusion of freedom that OUTSIDE game provides.
However, if you do not have INSIDE game, new women you seduce with OUTSIDE game will eventually break up with you.
They will realize it was all smoke and mirrors.
The INSIDE Game Of Seduction
INSIDE game is all about the vibe your behaviors give off under pressure.
Your inner maturity, confidence, self-esteem, vulnerability, and masculine frame are part of your INSIDE game.
Without a rock-solid INSIDE game, your wife won’t feel safe opening her heart to you.
She won’t feel like she can trust you with her emotions.
She will feel like the relationship has no depth.
Many younger women become infatuated with “bad boys.”
They assume if his OUTSIDE game feels confident, then his INSIDE game must be very secure, strong, and competent.
Sadly, most women who marry “bad boys” realize down the road that his INSIDE game is that of insecurity, self-doubt, and need for validation.
Many women who have been burned by a “bad boy” will latch on to a “nice guy” next.
They assume the “nice guy” will have what the “bad boy” lacks.
Sadly, most women who marry “nice guys” lose sexual attraction for him.
His softness, wishy-washiness, aversion to conflict, and lack of boundaries feel boyish and feminine to her.
Women crave to ravish a man, not a boy.
Mastering Seduction In Long Term Relationships
Your wife needs to be seduced again and again.
She needs to bounce between your INSIDE game and your OUTSIDE game weekly for the rest of your life.
On the days she’s drawn to your INSIDE game, she loves how her mood can’t rattle you.
Her complaints are met with your empathy.
When she brings up the past, you show understanding without getting defensive.
You like who you are being.
You trust your intentions, and she can sense your secure vibe.
On days she’s drawn to your OUTSIDE game, she’s loving that you’re sexting her during the day.
You’re giving her a wink and squeeze on the shoulder, and buying her favorite coffee.
In other words, you are living your best life and she’s feeling the invitation to join.
I sucked at both INSIDE and OUTSIDE game badly.
I’ve made it my mission to learn and teach men both by mastering seduction in my own life.
In my Masculine Confidence Framework, I get raw and personal with you on how to be a masculine man in a 1:1 setting.
You already have the traits for INSIDE & OUTSIDE game hard-coded into your DNA.
All of us adopted some faulty beliefs about masculine and feminine that need to be re-written.
I will help you spot the mindsets that make you feel indecisive, unclear, wishy-washy, and unattractive towards women.
This way, you can be naturally good at the game of seduction.
Mastering Seduction Is Part Of My Masculine Confidence Framework
I pack a lot of the most potent things I’ve learned into my masculine confidence framework.
Below are 4 ways to tell if my framework will help you.
Are you a man who can…
Be willing to take constructive feedback
Be willing to laugh at your past mistakes
Be willing to follow through on reading and homework assignments
Be willing to turn down her offers for sex
That last one might sound strange, but you’ll find out why if we work together.
I’m willing to take you by the hand and lead you each step of the way.
This kind of mentorship will shave YEARS of trial and error out of your life!
If you answered “yes” to the 4 questions above, then book a “Get Grounded Now“ consultation.
If you want to know how to make your wife sweet and affectionate then listen up. There are 3 steps to take this week to turbo-boost your relationship. Keep reading or watch the video below to learn some raw truth about what your wife needs to change.
The Raw Truth About Changing Your Wife
Fact check…We can’t change other people.
Especially for us men, this is hard to swallow.
I’m the oldest of 4 brothers.
As a kid, I could make my brothers do whatever I wanted since I was bigger than them.
Our father could make us do whatever he wanted with a dominating voice or fear of punishment.
I developed a subconscious belief that others should bend to a man’s will.
I tried for 10 years to change what I didn’t like about my wife.
Then in 2018, a mentor showed me a different way.
You see, I had it backward.
I can’t make women sweet and affectionate, but I can be the kind of man women are sweet and affectionate with.
There is what women say they want and there is what they can’t help but want.
Activating what she can’t help but want is what I’m going to show you how to do.
If You Can’t Make Your Wife Sweet & Affectionate, Then What Should You Do?
If we get back to the primal roots of what it means to be masculine, 99% of marriage issues clear up on their own.
Attraction is NATURAL and will occur without our intervention if we stay in our masculine frame.
Here are 3 steps to take this week so your wife can experience your attractive masculine frame.
Stop applying negativity to things you don’t like
Celebrate your wife
Go do things you love
Do the above for the next 7 days and notice what changes.
If you like the changes, keep it up!
Being negative towards what we don’t like about our wife has about a 5% success rate.
Yet we men tend to use negativity a lot.
Do you know who else is negative towards what they dislike?
Children.
Like I always say… Women crave men, not boys.
If someone’s behavior has the power to make us negative, they are our boss.
Women are attracted to a man who can’t be bothered, not a man who makes her the boss of how he reacts.
If we take it personally whenever she does something for herself, we are once again acting like a boy, not a man.
In his article, “No, You Can’t Change A Person” Mark Manson points out how trying to change others is manipulation and a violation of personal boundaries.
Having good intentions won’t make up for the violation our wife feels when we try to coerce or change her behaviors.
To Make Your Wife Sweet & Affectionate, She Needs To Be Celebrated
To see to her core and praise her for who she is your wife’s deepest need.
When we celebrate our wife’s “wins” or fun times she has with her friends we are showing that we are happy for her and glad she had fun.
I used to keep a mental scorecard of how much attention she gave me vs others and would make a fuss if she had fun without me.
Experience has shown me women feel a draw towards those who celebrate them.
She isn’t out to maliciously hurt us, but it can feel like that if we have a scarcity mindset.
An abundance mindset knows other people having love, attention, money, intimacy, or fun won’t reduce what’s available for us to create.
The Secret To Erotic Intimacy
When we take the initiative to do things we love for our own sake, we lift a huge burden off our wife’s shoulders.
At the core of wild, fun, erotic intimacy is the exchange of energy.
The type of energy doesn’t matter really.
Feeling very upset with each other many times translates into passionate intercourse against the wall.
Or you could be teasing towards each other until you are both so ravenous you’re ripping each other’s clothes off.
But if we’ve been using the marriage bed as a place to GET energy, validation, or affirmation, our wife will feel drained by the mere thought of it.
Get out this week and do something you love.
Let it fill you down to your toes.
Swim in it.
Come home with a spark in your eye and let your wife off the hook for making you happy.
Such behaviors tend to have a happy ending.
I walk men through the steps of my masculine confidence framework so they can be comfortable in their own skin and let attraction do all the work.
You’ll enjoy being the kind of man who can make your wife sweet and affectionate again!
I would love to hear about your personal situation and get to know you.
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