Masculine Confidence Framework

Tag: save your marriage

  • Make Your Wife Want You Again By Fixing The Root Marriage

    Make Your Wife Want You Again By Fixing The Root Marriage

    Brother, if you’ve been watching videos on “how to make your wife want you again” or “how to save your marriage” but nothing changes, you may be avoiding the root marriage issue.

    Back in my landscaping days, we called adding quick curb appeal “Putting lipstick on the pig”

    Spray-painting dead grass green.

    Fake flowers.

    A quick hedge trim.

    Those things made a place look better fast, but it did nothing to address long-term issues the property suffered from.

    A lot of men treat their marriage the same way.

    They’re chasing quick fixes in their marriage while avoiding what needs to change.

    You Can’t Hide A Dead Rat

    If insecurity is driving the way you speak, act, and react in your relationship, you can’t hide it.

    You can say all the right things.

    Do all the right stuff.

    But your wife won’t feel safe enough to open her heart to you.

    She won’t tell you where she went last night; she doesn’t want to deal with your anxiety about it.

    She’ll avoid being soft and affectionate with you; she doesn’t want to be your emotional tampon.

    If your emotions stink, there’s a dead rat floating in the soup.

    No amount of seasoning will make it appetizing.

    You have to address the root marriage issue.

    Insecurity seeps into your tone, your energy, and your reactions.

    It makes you defensive, controlling, and judgmental.

    You’ll talk more than you’ll listen.

    Explain more than understand.

    That’s the opposite of what the feminine craves…Leadership, stability, and a man who can lean in to hear her out without losing himself.

    Labeling her as “crazy,” “a narcissist,” or saying, “You’re just like your mom” might feel powerful in the moment, but it’s a sign of feeling powerless.

    Labels communicate that you need to put others down to feel strong.

    It’s avoiding ownership instead of showing true confidence.

    It’s avoiding the root marriage issue of insecurity.

    Addressing The Root Marriage Issue Changes How You See Her

    Starting fresh begins with your mindset.

    When you change how you see the world, you change your experience of it.

    Don’t believe me?

    Think about a juicy, freshly sliced, bright yellow lemon.

    Your teeth sink into it as the juices spray onto your mouth.  

    Feel your mouth water?

    You just changed your reality.

    There is no lemon, just these words.  

    Your feelings are not very intelligent; they are easily changed.

    You can’t change your wife, but you can experience her differently.

    When you do, your energy around her changes.

    That’s when she starts to feel safe, attracted, and open again.

    And if not?

    You’ll be a man with no regrets, knowing you did exactly what men who saved their marriages do.

    If you want to give your relationship the best possible chance and become a man who leads with clarity instead of fear, reach out.

  • Why She Says, “I Can’t Keep Doing This”

    Why She Says, “I Can’t Keep Doing This”

    When your wife says, “I can’t keep doing this,” she’s not joking.

    Her commitment to the marriage revolves around how she feels.

    But she’s leaving something out. Something you need to understand.

    Let’s break that down.

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    What She REALLY Means When She Says, “I Can’t Keep Doing This”

    Here’s what you need to understand: When your wife complains, pulls away, or shuts down, what she says is the problem is rarely the real issue.

    You might hear things like:

    • “I’m exhausted.”
    • “I feel like I’m the only one making efforts in this relationship.”
    • “You just don’t get me anymore.”
    • “I can’t trust you with my emotions.”
    • ” I can’t keep doing this”
    • “You forgot my birthday… again.”

    It’s tempting to take these “problems” literally and jump into fix-it mode.

    To defend yourself

    To apologize.

    To explain why she’s wrong or how your intentions going forward will be different (which is defensiveness).

    But here’s what I keep learning from coaching hundreds of men (and living this myself):

    The things she says are just surface symptoms.

    The real issue?

    It only emerges after she voices all her complaints and is met with your grounded presence and compassion.

    When a woman feels emotionally unsafe with you, her nervous system shifts into survival mode.

    She’s not trying to be difficult; she’s trying to protect herself.

    Protect herself from what?

    Your explanations.

    Your avoidance.

    Your logic.

    All the things that make your presence feel limp or reactive.

    And when she starts to feel like she’s parenting you emotionally, like she’s the only one holding the relationship together…

    Desire dies.

    Respect erodes.

    Trust disappears.

    Attraction fades.

    Most men make it worse by trying to convince her to feel different instead of learning how to be with what she feels.

    The Deeper Issue Under What She’s Feeling

    When attraction is strong, women let a lot slide.

    It’s not about the dishes.

    It’s not the missed text.

    It’s not even the canceled date night.

    She doesn’t complain about those things when she feels connected to you.

    Because those aren’t the real problem.

    It’s about the emotional weight she’s been carrying—alone.

    When she says, “I can’t keep dragging you like dead weight…”

    Brother, she’s serious.

    She says, “I can’t keep doing this,” because she actually can’t.

    She needs a break.

    Space.

    A reset.

    So What Should You Do?

    You start by dropping your need for her to be different.

    This is not the time to push her to stay in the relationship.

    Don’t try to change her feelings.

    Accept them.

    Empathize with them.

    Make plans that support the break she needs.

    Let her feel what she feels without trying to correct the facts.

    Trying to explain, defend, or “set the record straight” confirms what she already fears: That you care more about being right than being connected.

    Lead with presence.

    Lead with curiosity.

    Hear her pain without trying to rescue her from it.

    Because if you can’t stay grounded when she brings the messy stuff, she never trusts you with the deeper stuff.

    The playful stuff.

    The intimate stuff.

    Trying to convince her to stay is often the same invalidating behavior that drives her away in the first place.

    If she really wants out, let her go.

    And don’t be surprised when she circles back.

    How To Rewrite Your Love Story Into One She Loves

    Your old love story with your wife?

    It’s finished.

    Done.

    Over.

    It can’t be brought back to life.

    But a new story? That’s possible.

    A story where you meet.

    Where you date.

    Where you fall in love again.

    Moment by moment, you’re writing that new story.

    But here’s the thing: If you’re not crystal clear on how you show up in that new story, you just rewrite the same one all over again.

    Clarity is what prevents you from re-creating the same dynamic with someone new.

    For many men, their “new wife” isn’t someone else, it’s the same woman, finally free to become a new version of herself

    Funny how she starts showing up differently when YOU do.

    I can help you become this kind of man.

  • Fear of Divorce: The Fastest Way to Lose Her

    Fear of Divorce: The Fastest Way to Lose Her

    The fear of divorce is one of the fastest ways to destroy your marriage.

    I see it all the time.

    Men caught in limbo, walking on eggshells, doing everything they can to “fix” the relationship.

    They don’t realize it’s their panic that’s pushing her further away.

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    The Fear of Divorce Makes You Reactive

    When a marriage feels like it’s slipping, most men obsess over the worst-case scenarios:

    • What if I lose my kids?
    • What if she leaves me for someone else?
    • What if she already has someone else?
    • What if everything I built disappears overnight?

    When I ran my landscaping company, I trained guys to mow stripes into a lawn, straight as an arrow.

    The patterns you see on a baseball diamond!

    I’d say, “Don’t look down at the mower wheel. Look straight ahead at a fence post or tree, and focus on that as you drive towards it. Perfect lines happen when you fix your eyes on the goal—not by constantly trying to steer straight in the moment.”

    Your marriage is no different.

    When you live from fear, you zigzag emotionally.

    You try to control.

    You overcorrect.

    Every bump takes your energy and focus.

    When you stay connected to a powerful, positive vision of your future, you’ll eventually look back and realize you created that life by refusing to live in fear right now.

    Fear of Divorce Never Creates Intimacy

    You can’t panic your way into a better relationship.

    No one begs their way back into a woman’s heart.

    Now is a time to remain deeply connected to who you really are.

    Ask yourself: “What future do I want to create? How would a grounded, deliberate man behave today if he believed that future was possible?

    Most relationships begin with butterflies, but warm tingles alone are not what long-term relationships are made of.

    Marriages only last when two mature people align on:

    • A shared vision
    • Shared values
    • A common path forward

    She can’t share any of that with you if you don’t know where you’re going or who you are without her.

    If you’re waiting for her to choose you before you can be amazing, you’re not leading—you’re looking down at the mower wheel.

    The fear of divorce makes you look at her for your sense of direction.

    She can’t give you that.

    Masculine Leadership comes from remaining connected to who you are even when life throws a curveball.

    The Work Starts With You

    This is why I coach men to build emotional clarity and masculine leadership from the inside out.

    You don’t need her permission to become the man you respect.

    You need a clear vision of where you’re going—and the guts to act like it’s already yours.

    That’s the kind of man who BEHAVES in a way women can’t manipulate or derail.

    And those behaviors are what make you irresistible to her.

  • If Your Marriage Is Dying, Don’t Make These 4 Mistakes

    If Your Marriage Is Dying, Don’t Make These 4 Mistakes

    If your marriage is dying, it’s easy to panic.

    You notice her pulling away.

    She’s spending more time with friends.

    She’s texting that one guy you’ve never felt great about.

    Your efforts to reconnect are met with coldness or distance.

    I’ve been there and I’ve helped hundreds of men navigate this exact stage.

    And while you can’t control her choices, you can avoid the 4 mistakes that push your wife further out the door.

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    Mistake #1 Trying to Romance Her When the Marriage Is Dying

    It’s tempting to prove your love: flowers, date nights, handwritten notes, extra help around the house.

    Sure, there was a time when she would have loved those things.

    But here’s the truth: if the marriage is dying, this only smothers what little spark is left.

    She’s not questioning your love for her.

    She’s questioning whether she still loves you.

    At this point, your romantic gestures feel more like pressure than passion.

    Mistake #2 Reigniting Old Memories

    Taking her back to the spot where you first kissed or playing your wedding song might feel like a good idea but it just reminds her of what’s been lost.

    You can’t relive the past expecting the future to be different.

    If you restore what you had, you’ll end up here again.

    You need a NEW relationship with your wife, one that starts with a NEW version of you.

    Mistake #3 Thinking One Big Talk Can Save a Dying Marriage

    Having that one “deep talk” where you pour your heart out and list all the reasons you can fix this won’t change the trajectory.

    Change takes time.

    Trust and attraction don’t come from words, they come from your energy and consistency.

    When the marriage is dying, long emotional talks often drain her energy and make her fee trapped, not more connected.

    Mistake #4 Becoming Her Idealized Version of You

    You probably know every complaint she’s ever had about you.

    And when things get rough, it’s easy to think that if you just become the man she says she wants, she’ll stay.

    But chasing that ideal reverses polarity and destroys her natural attraction.

    Real masculine energy comes from being you, grounded and confident, not an avatar built to please her.

    She can’t help being attracted to your masculine energy just as you can’t help being attracted to her feminine energy.

    What You Can Do Right Now

    Pause the panic.

    Remove all forms of pressure by giving her emotional space.

    Stop trying to save the marriage through desperate effort.

    Instead, focus on becoming the strongest, clearest version of yourself, even if your marriage is dying.

    That shift alone creates the space where organic attraction can grow.

    Not from pressure.

    Not from fear.

    But from your example of what an amazing, happy life looks like.

    Want help becoming that man?

  • ? How To Set Strong Boundaries With Your Wife

    ? How To Set Strong Boundaries With Your Wife

    Boundaries.

    It’s a buzzword.

    A go-to fix-it line from well-meaning friends.

    “Boundaries, girl! Don’t let David’s mom control you like that!” Alesha’s friend declares over coffee.

    Meanwhile, David’s mother is setting her own boundaries for Alesha… and David? He’s contemplating boundaries just to keep them both from strangling each other.

    This isn’t boundaries—it’s a mess.

    I’m going to teach you a simple, no-BS approach to boundaries.

    One that actually works.

    I give you more insight in the 15-minute video below and also invite you to join The Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.

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    What Bad Boundaries Look Like

    Most people are doing boundaries wrong.

    They think boundaries are about forcing other people to stop annoying them.

    That’s because 95% of people aren’t fully conscious.

    They think their feelings are caused by other people—so they believe setting a boundary will magically make them feel better.

    That’s like trying to drive the road down the car instead of driving the car down the road.

    Your feelings don’t come from other people.

    They come from YOU.

    YOUR triggers.

    YOUR perceptions.

    Your brain interprets the world through YOUR five senses (which, by the way, are highly unreliable).

    Think of boundaries like a fence.

    If you use boundaries to fence your bad feelings, you’re just letting those negative feelings run your life.

    And that’s a losing game.

    What Good Boundaries Look Like

    A good boundary protects something you value.

    That’s the key—it’s positive.

    Your phone dies if you never charge it, right?

    You’re no different.

    When you get crystal clear on what keeps you strong, draw a line in the sand so you don’t exhaust it.

    No more over-giving. No more over-accommodating. No more over-serving.

    That’s a good boundary.

    So what fuels you?

    • Time in nature?
    • Meaningful conversation?
    • A night with the boys?
    • Intimacy with your wife?

    Protect those things with a boundary, brother.

    Protect both how you receive it and how much you give.

    We all have behaviors that make us proud of who we are—that light us up so we feel self-respect.

    Don’t bend on them.

    A boundary around respect means nobody can push you into acting disrespectfully.

    A boundary around love means nobody can push you into acting unloving.

    If you want strong boundaries with your wife, dig your heels in and hold the line on these things.

    If you don’t like how she’s acting?

    Don’t join her—step back.

    That’s your boundary because you know what you value.

    That’s you drawing a line in the sand for anything less than that.

    Boundaries Are for BIG Things

    Moods? Petty frustrations? Minor annoyances?

    They don’t need to have boundaries enforced on them.

    Boundaries are for the BIG things.

    DEALBREAKERS.

    The experiences that would make you step out of someone’s life.

    Your wife is always going to have feelings, pushback, and moods—it’s part of her nature.

    You must be the rock.

    • When she’s stormy, you stay grounded.
    • When she’s emotional, you stand firm.
    • When she tests you, you don’t react.

    That’s having a masculine frame for her feminine behaviors. 

    But the moment she crosses the line of what you deeply value…

    BOOM.

    That’s when your boundary comes out for the kinds of people you keep in your life.

    The first time your boundary gets crossed warrants a verbal affirmation of what you value and won’t tolerate.

    The 2nd time requires a more severe consequence.

    By the third offense, you remove yourself from that person’s life.

    That’s how serious boundaries are.

    Gaining Clarity on Who You Are

    This is the work I do with men.

    We dig deep into your core values and get rock-solid on how to stand firm in them.

    You become a man who is strong, not reactive.

    A man who fills the space that’s his to fill—and lets her do the same.

    1:1 coaching with me isn’t for guys who dabble.

    It’s for men who want the maximum return on their investment.

    Men who don’t pussyfoot around—they go big or go home.

    But if you’re not ready for coaching yet, my book is a great place to start.

    It’s for High-Achieving Men who want to restore intimacy in their marriage.

    ? You’ll learn why doing everything she’s been asking for isn’t working.

    ? Why being her “dream husband” is backfiring.

    ? Why she no longer craves your touch—and how to turn that around.

    ? Download your FREE copy HERE.

    Much love, brother.

    – Garrett Prettyman

  • How to Lead with Presence and Strength When Your Marriage Feels Off ???

    How to Lead with Presence and Strength When Your Marriage Feels Off ???

    Lead with presence, and you’ll become a man who is strong, grounded, and feels safe to feminine women. It’s not about controlling or fixing anyone else. It’s about you standing in your own state of wellbeing, no longer needing your wife (or anyone) to behave a certain way for you to feel solid.

    When life throws storms your way—especially emotional storms from your wife—your role isn’t to react or defend. It’s to stay present.

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    I once worked with a client who noticed that every time his wife got upset, his body would betray him—one foot would instinctively start turning toward the door.

    His foot said, “Run! Avoid conflict!”

    But he caught himself, literally grabbed his leg, and planted himself firmly in place to remain present.

    He decided, “I’m staying right here. I can handle this.”

    His body FACED the conflict, his eyes looked into hers, his ears open, his mouth closed.

    After a while, she finished her rant.

    He calmly looked at her and asked, “Honey, do you need something from me, or were you just venting”?

    That’s power.

    That’s how you lead with presence when there’s choas.

    The Jedi Mindset: Lead with Presence Over Emotion

    I recently rewatched all the Star Wars movies, and something stood out to me like never before: the clear divide between the Jedi and the Sith.

    The Sith, (the dark side) fuel their power with raw emotion—anger, hatred, passion, love, vengeance. They react.

    The Jedi? They move with intentionality. They respond rather than react. They have a frame—a set of values that don’t sway with emotion or circumstance.

    Anakin Skywalker struggled with this.

    When he lost his mother, he went on a revenge steak to avenge her, killing many.

    His love for his wife drove him down an even a darker path, terified he might lose her as he lost his mother—but the Jedi kept pulling him back, reminding him: That’s not the way.

    And that’s exactly what this work is about—No longer being controlled by fear.

    The Modern Man’s Challenge

    Most of today’s “heroes” we see in movies don’t follow the Jedi path.

    In modern movies, the main character is often fueled by vengeance—some injustice happens, and he lashes out in fury.

    This Hollywood version of ‘power’ has been glorified, but it’s not power at all—it’s pure reactivity, a misguided portrayal of what true strength really looks like.

    A truly initiated man doesn’t operate that way.

    He doesn’t let his emotions dictate his actions.

    His values determine his course, not his momentary feelings.

    How To Be A Hero

    How you feel about something is secondary to the fact that you’ve already decided—in advance—to act in alignment with your values.

    That’s what makes a man grounded, powerful, and magnetic.

    Lead with presence and you won’t let the storm move you—you become the anchor.

    This is the way of the Jedi.

    And if you want to step into this kind of presence and strength in your marriage, your leadership, and your life, it starts with a decision:

    Will you lead yourself, or will you let emotions lead you?

    If you’re ready to break free from frustration, rebuild attraction, and restore the deep, passionate intimacy you once had with your wife, then it’s time to step up.

    My eBook, How High-Achieving Men In Their 40s Can Restore Passionate Intimacy With Their Wife of 18+ Years, is your guide to making it happen.

    Inside, I walk you through the exact mindset shifts, strategies, and actions you need to take to lead with presence, strength, confidence, and clarity.

    Get your copy today and start leading your marriage with presence, power, and purpose

    Stay grounded, brother.

    – Garrett Prettyman

  • Your Wife Wants Space? Here’s How Not to Screw It Up

    Your Wife Wants Space? Here’s How Not to Screw It Up

    If your wife wants space, is sleeping in the other room, shutting down, or even asking you to leave—this is for you.

    Her need for space isn’t what you think.

    Before you react, take a step back and get clear on the difference between physical space and emotional space.

    Stick with me, because by the end of this, you’ll have a game plan that could turn your marriage around for good. I explain more in this 4-minuted video:

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    What It Really Means When Your Wife Wants Space

    Before a woman asks for physical space, she’s already been drowning in something else: Emotional PRESSURE.

    Think about a time when someone pressed on you emotionally.

    Maybe it was…

    ? A boss who micromanaged your every move

    ? A client who was impossible to please

    ? A friend who constantly needed reassurance that you weren’t pulling away

    What happens? The more they cling, the more you want to run.

    Yet when a wife wants space, what do most men instinctively do?

    They push harder.

    They try to talk it out, spend more time together, fix it.

    More effort. More intensity. More pressure.

    And it backfires.

    If you’re in this spot, less is more—but not in the way most men think.

    How to Give Emotional Space When Your Wife Wants Space

    Most women want their marriage to work.

    But when she asks for space, it means she’s exhausted every other way of telling you she’s overwhelmed.

    She’s not asking you to disappear.

    She’s asking you to give her emotional breathing room—to learn how to be in the same room with her without making it feel like pressure.

    This is where most men get stuck.

    You can be sitting on the couch holding her hand and still be giving her the emotional space she needs.

    It’s called Emotional Detachment.

    And it’s a skill every man in a long-term relationship needs to master.

    What Does Detachment Look Like?

    Detachment isn’t passive. It’s not “giving up.” It’s the opposite—it’s learning to stay present, strong, and unfazed while letting go of the need to control or fix.

    Here’s what detachment actually means:

    ? Not taking her reactions personally

    ? Seeing things from her perspective (even if you don’t agree)

    ? Recognizing her unique experience and supporting her through it

    ? Knowing who YOU are so clearly that her emotions don’t feel like threats

    ? Trusting who YOU are so deeply that you don’t need to explain or justify yourself

    ? Not needing a specific outcome to be okay

    This is what makes a man unshakeable.

    When you can hold this frame that allows her to be who she is—that’s when the pressure starts to lift.


    That’s when her need for physical space goes away because emotional space was provided. 

    Exactly What to Do Over the Next 6 Months

    I’ve guided countless men through the “I need space” season of their marriage.

    You don’t have to guess your way through this.

    Book a free “Get Grounded Now” call, and we’ll break it down step by step.

    Picture this: You leading your relationship out of frustration and into connection.

    ? No more walking on eggshells

    ? No more chasing validation

    ? No more emotional tug-of-war

    Instead, you become the man who naturally draws her back in—by showing up in a way that makes her want to be close again.

    If your wife wants space, it’s a wake-up call. Not to chase. Not to fix. But to step into a version of yourself that she actually wants to be around.

    She needs you to be that guy.

    And you already have it in you.

    When a man trusts himself—when he gains clarity on who he is—it takes the pressure off his wife to validate him.

    That’s when everything shifts. That’s when attraction returns on its own.

    We’ll cover all of this on the call—including how to rebuild a positive emotional connection so you can turn this ship around.

    Stay grounded, brother.

    —Garrett Prettyman

  • (Part 3) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    (Part 3) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    This is part 3 of a 3-part series called “Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid” (Click HERE to read part 2). I’m about to share my personal experience. I hope you can learn from my mistakes and be all the wiser!

    Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid If You Want To Turn It Around

    1. Don’t use triggers to determine your behaviors, choices, or actions.
    2. Don’t assume sacrifices and loyalty will win a woman’s heart (know how to value your differences instead).
    3. Avoid holding out for her if she’s said, “I’m done”.

    I know all too well what it’s like to love a woman who doesn’t want to be with you.

    I also know what it’s like to love a woman who used to love you but no longer does.

    In my early days, I used logic to try to attract a girl who clearly didn’t love me.

    I believed that if I saved myself for her by not dating anyone else, she would end things with her boyfriend.

    In my imagined fairytale, she would become my dream wife by falling in love with my devotion and abstinence from other women.

    I demonstrated these traits to her by not dating any other girls for YEARS while she was dating other guys and seemingly not interested in me.

    Despite her full knowledge of my interest, my years of availability for her never seduced her. 

    Even after my divorce, I waited a few years to date.

    My reason was to work on my loneliness without feminine support and to grieve the loss of my marriage.

    But if I’m honest, I also hoped my wife would come running back and I would still be available for her.

    Over the last few years of doing men’s work, I’ve come to terms with a startling reality.

    Women rarely are reattracted to men who hold out for her after she’s said, “I’m done”. 

    I’ve seen more of my clients save their marriage by divorcing her and moving on than by waiting around like a loyal puppy.

    I’ve even seen this in my dating life.

    Once you have a girlfriend, two more women almost always start chasing you.

    When you’re solo with no girlfriend, you tend to go unnoticed by the ladies.

    Being The Kind Of Man Women Chase 

    When we see women pursue a man who appears to be solo, it’s usually because he’s confidently leading a life of FREEDOM.

    He’s doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants.

    He doesn’t hold back because of fear.

    He pushes the limits of what he can create in this life where other people would hesitate.

    These are the guys we see solo sail the Pacific, get in a position of leadership or stand for a cause while everyone else plays it safe.

    The lesson is clear.

    Sitting at home waiting for our runaway wife to come back NEVER works.

    Waiting is like getting our boat stuck on a sand bar.

    She wants to be on a boat that’s going somewhere. 

    Being a martyr by enduring years without sex, weeks without meaningful conversation, or a job we hate is like sinking our boat in the sand

    Being The Man Your Wife Would Cheat With

    It goes without saying.

    When a woman does have an affair, it’s never the man paying her bills or sharing her bed who she cheats with.

    Yet what do we men tend to do when she pulls back and we want intimacy?

    We try to spend MORE time with her, share MORE experiences with her, and talk about the relationship MORE with her.

    Less is more.

    Being the kind of man she would cheat with means we are living our own life.

    In order to be this kind of man, we must STOP seeing her moods or affection as having any meaning about our value, integrity, or purpose.

    Thinking we need her permission to live our life puts our balls in her purse and makes it hard for her to respect us. 

    We need to formulate our own script we operate by that makes us want to get out of bed every day and enjoy living.

    Avoiding her emotions or stonewalling doesn’t count as getting out and living our own life.

    I will help you clarify a new meaning for your purpose as a man in my masculine confidence framework.

    Being a MAN is your inherent role on this earth.

    Yet what that means has become hazy in our modern times.

    In the course, we will help you get back to the primal roots of what it means to be masculine and what it means to be feminine.

    The magic of attraction between masculine and feminine has existed for all of eternity.

    You can tap into this magic by learning how to stay in your own pole (and let her be in hers).

    Book a “Get Grounded Now“ consultation to learn more!

    Your marriage could very well depend on it.

    Much love brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • (Part 2) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    (Part 2) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    This is part 2 of a 3-part series about things to avoid in a failing marriage. (Click HERE to read part 1). I warned in the 1st part that this might be triggering to read. I’m about to turn up the heat, so prepare to have your beliefs challenged!

    Men And Women Find Honor In Marriage Differently

    In part one of this series, I said to avoid using triggers to justify our choices.

    We learned changing our decisions every time we hear new advice or get a negative reaction from our wife accelerates the spiral to divorce. 

    Now let’s talk about the 2nd thing to avoid: Thinking sacrifices and loyalty wins a woman’s heart! 

    Ironically, disloyalty causes many divorces so it’s easy to think the opposite should be true.  

    For the most part, masculine values are not valued by others when present, BUT they are sorely missed when absent.

    Loyalty is a perfect example.

    Most women are not going to be burning with intimate passion for us just because we’ve remained sexually monogamous with her.

    Paying bills is another example.

    Paying bills on time probably won’t get us extra blow-jobs, BUT stop paying those bills and we’ll be met with her displeasure when the power gets shut off!

    For some reason, when our wife says she wants out of the relationship, we assume she must not understand the depth of our love or loyalty for her.

    We believe that by making her realize how much we care for her and how much we’ve sacrificed for her, we can win back her affection.

    Logically, this makes sense to us.  

    For a man, the loyalty of a woman can largely influence our attraction towards her.

    Many would refer to a faithful, loyal lady as a high-value woman.

    The problem is women don’t find a sense of honor or self-respect from masculine values like men do.

    In a feminine mind, she feels like she’s violating her own code of honor by committing to a man who she doesn’t have feelings for.

    She feels as if she’s being unfaithful to her virtue by being intimate with her husband when she doesn’t feel attraction for him.

    In her mind, ending a marriage can feel like she’s choosing honor, fidelity, and virtue.

    It’s a masculine virtue to place a lot of our honor on following through on our word even if we don’t feel like it.

    In movies when the superhero makes the ultimate sacrifice to save the world, we men instantly respect him for doing the hard thing.  

    For a woman, she gets that same sense of honor by aligning with her feelings in spite of her words.

    Focus On Your Values And Let Her Have Hers

    As soon as we try to hold women to the same standards we men find honor in, we set ourselves up for massive frustration.

    I compare it to trying to shove a square peg in a round hole.

    Here are some choices we have when a peg doesn’t fit in a hole…

    1. Get mad at the peg
    2. Blame the peg for being square
    3. Only play with round pegs and avoid square ones
    4. Force the square peg into the round hole (and destroy both in the process)
    5. Accept the peg is square

    Acceptance is the only path forward if we want to be happy while sharing this planet with women.

    Acceptance is not the same as being a doormat.

    Part of being masculine is to give others the space to make choices and to allow them to experience the sting of their choices.

    If we’ve developed a people-pleasing approach, we can be tempted to smooth over the consequences of other people’s choices

    If we pay for the neighbor’s window every time our son hits a baseball through it, he may never learn to hit baseballs away from house windows.

    Our son will learn from the sting of his choice If he has to earn the money himself to pay for the window he broke!

    The Secret In Marriage Is To VALUE Our Differences

    As far as I can tell, women are here to stay so I choose to accept them how they come.

    Personally, I LOVE how a woman’s body is the opposite of mine, especially during intercourse!

    It took me a long time to accept that her inner world differs greatly from mine as well.

    Learning to VALUE our differences is the only way we can build an abundant, happy life with our wife.

    Look at what happens when we value the differences in her body.. it produces babies!

    What was only 2 people becomes a family of 3, 4, or 5, Etc!

    This same concept applies to our contrasting virtues.

    A relationship greater than we could have created as a lone ranger becomes possible when we value her opposite way of thinking and feeling.

    We can save a lot of frustration when we realize virtues that attract us to women are not the same virtues that attract women to men.

    She can value that we’re steady, we can value that she changes.

    She can value that we look ahead, we can value that she looks at the moment (and the past).

    What A Woman Values From Her Husband In Marriage

    I once watched a video about a study conducted with babies and their mothers.

    The mother was placed on one end of the room, and the small child, barely old enough to crawl, was placed on the other end.

    Between the mother and the child, a chair was placed to block the child’s path.

    When the little boys reached the chair, they could see their mom on the other side.

    The child would fuss a bit, then get busy trying to climb the chair, move the chair, or go through the chair.

    Eventually, the little boys figured out how to get past the chair and reached their moms!

    Then it was the little girl’s turn.

    When the girls reached the chair, they too could see their mom on the other side.

    However, the little girls didn’t try to move the chair, they just stood there and cried!

    The story illustrates how men are fixers and women want to communicate where they are so they can be seen.

    Our wife wants us to see her in her pain, in her confusion, in the messiness of life, and still love her for who she is.

    Men are the watchers, and she craves to be seen by us to her core!

    If we react to what emerges from her, or dismiss her feelings, she feels unloved and unvalued.

    How To Look At Your Wife With New Eyes

    Viewing our wife’s actions through the lens of our own expectations leads to frustration.

    In my masculine confidence framework, I teach you how to keep your eyes on your own gauges for self-respect and self-honor.

    I help you clarify fulfilling masculine standards you hold yourself to.

    You become like a superhero who does the right thing knowing he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t.

    Are you ready to become this kind of man in your marriage?

    Fill out my “Get Grounded Now” form for a free consultation.

    The path to being a better man starts here!

    Much Love,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • (Part 1) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    (Part 1) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    This is part 1 in a 3-part series. Fair warning. This might be triggering to read. Trust me when I say triggers need to be faced for relationships to improve. Keep reading to see how a man named Luke learned the hard way that triggers are not a guide for recovering a failing marriage. Also, notice how often Luke changes his mind as he’s met with new advice or his wife’s reactions. If you want to stop the downward spiral towards divorce, don’t be a “Luke”  

    Luke’s Wife Could Sense His Indecisiveness

    3 Days ago.

    That’s when Luke’s wife, Hailey, said the dreaded words, “I want a divorce”.

    Luke’s world was turned upside down.

    He knew their marriage had issues but he was shocked she would go so far as to divorce him.

    Luke’s emotions overwhelmed him and he couldn’t keep the tears back.

    He cried, begged, and pleaded for her to change her mind.

    Nothing Luke said could sway Hailey’s decision.

    Determined to keep the marriage together, Luke turned to Reddit for advice.

    “If she wants divorce let her figure out the divorce paperwork on her own” several men advised.

    Another man said, “If she wants to move out, let her do it herself”.

    Luke followed this advice and told Hailey she was all on her own if she wanted to leave him.

    Hearing this upset Hailey, but she resolved to move forward with divorce regardless.

    A few days later, Luke read a free E-book about how to stop divorce.

    The E-book strongly recommended showing leadership by taking charge of the divorce process.

    The E-book claimed many women reconsider their desire for divorce when they witness their partner taking on a leadership role and meeting their needs.

    Luke took this advice to heart and changed his approach towards divorce. 

    Luke told Hailey, “I’ve got moving vans and a storage unit rented, and will help you figure out the divorce paperwork”.

    Hailey let out a huge sigh of relief.

    With teary eyes, she said, “Thank you so much, Luke, that means a lot to me”.  

    Over the next few days, Luke stayed true to his word and helped Hailey pack her things and categorize their assets.

    Luke Second-Guessed Himself

    Luke could hardly sleep at night with his intense grief gnawing at his gut.

    He loved Hailey dearly and helping her with the divorce process was tearing him up.

    Luke turned to YouTube in the wee hours of the morning seeking advice on how he could save his marriage.

    A popular influencer said something that resonated with him.

    The influencer said, “A healthy relationship needs honest and vulnerable communication to grow deeper”.

    This jumped out to Luke.

    Over the years, Hailey had many times said, “I want to know what you’re feeling, why won’t you open up to me?”

    Hailey also complained regularly about his aversion to conflict.

    The next YouTube video Luke watched said, “The strength she craves is proven by your ability to stand up to her and set boundaries.”

    Luke realized he was bulldozing his own feelings by helping Hailey with the divorce.

    What do you think Luke did?

    You guessed it, he once again changed his approach.

    The very next day, he told Hailey, “I’m setting a boundary that I can’t help you with this divorce.”

    Hailey’s eyes filled with frustration and she said, “This is why I’m divorceing you! I never know where you stand because you’re always changing your position!”

    Luke replied, “No I don’t! You always make poor choices that put you in situations I don’t want any part of!”

    Luke defended himself by explaining he was trying to be open with his feelings and stand up for himself like she had always wanted him to.

    Hailey got up and said, “I’m staying at my friend’s house tonight. We’re done”.

    How Luke Should Have Responded To His Failing Marriage

    Avoid changing your mind because of a triggering, painful feeling.

    Urgency and desperation are never good reasons to make big decisions, especially in a failing marriage.

    Trust me when I say it’s better to confidently make the wrong choice and follow through than to keep changing our minds in search of the right choice.

    Luke felt uncertain about how to respond to Hailey because he was using her responses to validate if his choices were correct.

    He also didn’t know how to process grief on his own.

    Luke needed to establish a clear personal code that he could follow confidently, regardless of Hailey’s choices.

    Females are more tuned into our state of self-confidence than they are to the logic supporting our decisions.

    If our behaviors are in flux each time a new perspective emerges, we demonstrate our intentions can be manipulated.

    During separation or divorce, the need for consistency is irreplaceable.

    Resist following every new bit of advice you hear and stick to your own code of conduct!

    It’s okay to change our minds when we do it slowly and deliberately, not because we feel rushed or triggered.

    How You Can Gain Clear, Decisive Thinking In A Failing Marriage

    In my masculine confidence framework, I teach you how to sort preferences from values so you can hold yourself to a personal code no matter what.

    Many men confuse stubbornness with confidence and wonder why they frustrate their wife when they try to hold their ground.

    I will show you how to respond to your wife in a way that makes YOU feel good and opens her heart towards you.

    Fill out a Get Grounded Now application so we can talk!

    I can’t spoon-feed confidence to you, but you can show up to our call with a commitment to positive change as your first step to saving your failing marriage.

    Much love brother,

    Garrett Prettyman