Masculine Confidence Framework

Tag: Marriage Advice for Men

  • 5-Minute Quickie Your Wife Secretly Wants

    5-Minute Quickie Your Wife Secretly Wants

    Brother, let’s be honest…

    If your wife gave you a five-minute quickie after lunch today, it would probably change your day, right?

    It’s pretty crazy how only 5 minutes of physical intimacy can brighten a man’s mood!

    Well, five minutes of your potent, masculine presence can change her world just as much.

    When your presence is undistracted, unhurried, and all-in, it rocks her world.

    It’s something she craves more than gifts, words, or advice.

    It’s what makes her feel seen, safe, and desired.

    And she only needs 5 minutes.

    So tonight, when you get home, try this:

    • Sit with her.
    • Face her fully.
    • Stay relaxed.
    • Be genuinely curious.
    • Don’t fix. Don’t analyze. Don’t rush.

    After five minutes, you’re done.

    Move on with your night.

    This was just one pit stop along your awesome evening you have planned for yourself.

    I’ve never seen an unhappy man save his marriage.

    Staying connected to your own happiness should be your primary focus, not the results of the 5-minute quickie you just gave her.

    What To Do If She’s Still Unhappy After

    You can’t fix another person’s unhappiness.

    You can only show them by example how to have a happy life.

    Until you can be okay right where you are, as things are, you’re not in a position to lead the relationship anywhere better.

    Feelings can be like clouds.

    They block the sun from shining.

    So much so, we can start to believe the sun will never shine again.

    But this belief doesn’t mean the sun no longer exists.

    Your inner well-being is always alive, even when your feelings cloud it over.

    A man needs FAITH (even if it’s as small as a grain of mustard seed) that his wellbeing is still alive if he is to move mountains in his life on cloudy days.

    If you’re ready to learn how to access that calm, confident center that leads naturally and magnetically, then reach out.

  • What To Do If Your Marriage Isn’t Turning Around

    What To Do If Your Marriage Isn’t Turning Around

    Maybe you’ve been watching videos and trying new things but your marriage isn’t turning around. This post takes the spotlight off the marriage so you can understand who a man must become before his marriage can change for the better.

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    Most men I work with are brilliant, hard-working guys.

    Men who are good at making money, running a business, and competent at problem-solving.

    But when they first reach out to me, they’re often frantic, panicking, uncertain, and desperate to fix their marriage.

    Ironically, those very feelings are what sabotage relationships.

    It makes sense if you think about it.

    How we act when we’re needy, reactive, and jealous isn’t attractive.

    But my clients who succeed in saving their marriages? They’re the ones who find their inner confidence, allowing their presence to feel unshakable.

    You can SAY all the right things.

    DO all the right things.

    But if your presence feels needy or unsure, your wife’s heart will close.

    All my clients who saved their marriage know this to be true: You can say and do all the wrong things…But if your presence is solid, clear, and unrattled, your wife will open her heart to you.  

    You’re attracted to the female form…the curves…the scent… that can’t be helped.

    She can’t help but be attracted to the unrattled man.

    So stop trying to talk your marriage back together.

    Stop trying to do more to convince her of your value.

    Relax into knowing you got this and have nothing to prove.

    Get on with livin’ and let your presence be undivided and unshook around her.  

    Your Next Step If Your Marriage Isn’t Turning Around

    If your wife can pull your strings and push your buttons, her attraction and respect will fade.

    Confidence isn’t found by learning how to numb yourself.

    That’s just being an emotional zombie.

    Inner security isn’t about avoiding negative feelings (like anger or rejection).

    Mature masculine strength is about breathing through strong feelings without letting them dictate your choices.

    When you breathe through negative feelings, there is always clarity, strength, and calm on the other side.

    Want to learn how to be unrattled?

  • Why She Says, “I Can’t Keep Doing This”

    Why She Says, “I Can’t Keep Doing This”

    When your wife says, “I can’t keep doing this,” she’s not joking.

    Her commitment to the marriage revolves around how she feels.

    But she’s leaving something out. Something you need to understand.

    Let’s break that down.

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    What She REALLY Means When She Says, “I Can’t Keep Doing This”

    Here’s what you need to understand: When your wife complains, pulls away, or shuts down, what she says is the problem is rarely the real issue.

    You might hear things like:

    • “I’m exhausted.”
    • “I feel like I’m the only one making efforts in this relationship.”
    • “You just don’t get me anymore.”
    • “I can’t trust you with my emotions.”
    • ” I can’t keep doing this”
    • “You forgot my birthday… again.”

    It’s tempting to take these “problems” literally and jump into fix-it mode.

    To defend yourself

    To apologize.

    To explain why she’s wrong or how your intentions going forward will be different (which is defensiveness).

    But here’s what I keep learning from coaching hundreds of men (and living this myself):

    The things she says are just surface symptoms.

    The real issue?

    It only emerges after she voices all her complaints and is met with your grounded presence and compassion.

    When a woman feels emotionally unsafe with you, her nervous system shifts into survival mode.

    She’s not trying to be difficult; she’s trying to protect herself.

    Protect herself from what?

    Your explanations.

    Your avoidance.

    Your logic.

    All the things that make your presence feel limp or reactive.

    And when she starts to feel like she’s parenting you emotionally, like she’s the only one holding the relationship together…

    Desire dies.

    Respect erodes.

    Trust disappears.

    Attraction fades.

    Most men make it worse by trying to convince her to feel different instead of learning how to be with what she feels.

    The Deeper Issue Under What She’s Feeling

    When attraction is strong, women let a lot slide.

    It’s not about the dishes.

    It’s not the missed text.

    It’s not even the canceled date night.

    She doesn’t complain about those things when she feels connected to you.

    Because those aren’t the real problem.

    It’s about the emotional weight she’s been carrying—alone.

    When she says, “I can’t keep dragging you like dead weight…”

    Brother, she’s serious.

    She says, “I can’t keep doing this,” because she actually can’t.

    She needs a break.

    Space.

    A reset.

    So What Should You Do?

    You start by dropping your need for her to be different.

    This is not the time to push her to stay in the relationship.

    Don’t try to change her feelings.

    Accept them.

    Empathize with them.

    Make plans that support the break she needs.

    Let her feel what she feels without trying to correct the facts.

    Trying to explain, defend, or “set the record straight” confirms what she already fears: That you care more about being right than being connected.

    Lead with presence.

    Lead with curiosity.

    Hear her pain without trying to rescue her from it.

    Because if you can’t stay grounded when she brings the messy stuff, she never trusts you with the deeper stuff.

    The playful stuff.

    The intimate stuff.

    Trying to convince her to stay is often the same invalidating behavior that drives her away in the first place.

    If she really wants out, let her go.

    And don’t be surprised when she circles back.

    How To Rewrite Your Love Story Into One She Loves

    Your old love story with your wife?

    It’s finished.

    Done.

    Over.

    It can’t be brought back to life.

    But a new story? That’s possible.

    A story where you meet.

    Where you date.

    Where you fall in love again.

    Moment by moment, you’re writing that new story.

    But here’s the thing: If you’re not crystal clear on how you show up in that new story, you just rewrite the same one all over again.

    Clarity is what prevents you from re-creating the same dynamic with someone new.

    For many men, their “new wife” isn’t someone else, it’s the same woman, finally free to become a new version of herself

    Funny how she starts showing up differently when YOU do.

    I can help you become this kind of man.

  • Fear of Divorce: The Fastest Way to Lose Her

    Fear of Divorce: The Fastest Way to Lose Her

    The fear of divorce is one of the fastest ways to destroy your marriage.

    I see it all the time.

    Men caught in limbo, walking on eggshells, doing everything they can to “fix” the relationship.

    They don’t realize it’s their panic that’s pushing her further away.

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    The Fear of Divorce Makes You Reactive

    When a marriage feels like it’s slipping, most men obsess over the worst-case scenarios:

    • What if I lose my kids?
    • What if she leaves me for someone else?
    • What if she already has someone else?
    • What if everything I built disappears overnight?

    When I ran my landscaping company, I trained guys to mow stripes into a lawn, straight as an arrow.

    The patterns you see on a baseball diamond!

    I’d say, “Don’t look down at the mower wheel. Look straight ahead at a fence post or tree, and focus on that as you drive towards it. Perfect lines happen when you fix your eyes on the goal—not by constantly trying to steer straight in the moment.”

    Your marriage is no different.

    When you live from fear, you zigzag emotionally.

    You try to control.

    You overcorrect.

    Every bump takes your energy and focus.

    When you stay connected to a powerful, positive vision of your future, you’ll eventually look back and realize you created that life by refusing to live in fear right now.

    Fear of Divorce Never Creates Intimacy

    You can’t panic your way into a better relationship.

    No one begs their way back into a woman’s heart.

    Now is a time to remain deeply connected to who you really are.

    Ask yourself: “What future do I want to create? How would a grounded, deliberate man behave today if he believed that future was possible?

    Most relationships begin with butterflies, but warm tingles alone are not what long-term relationships are made of.

    Marriages only last when two mature people align on:

    • A shared vision
    • Shared values
    • A common path forward

    She can’t share any of that with you if you don’t know where you’re going or who you are without her.

    If you’re waiting for her to choose you before you can be amazing, you’re not leading—you’re looking down at the mower wheel.

    The fear of divorce makes you look at her for your sense of direction.

    She can’t give you that.

    Masculine Leadership comes from remaining connected to who you are even when life throws a curveball.

    The Work Starts With You

    This is why I coach men to build emotional clarity and masculine leadership from the inside out.

    You don’t need her permission to become the man you respect.

    You need a clear vision of where you’re going—and the guts to act like it’s already yours.

    That’s the kind of man who BEHAVES in a way women can’t manipulate or derail.

    And those behaviors are what make you irresistible to her.

  • This Secretly Turns Her On (But She’ll Never Admit It)

    This Secretly Turns Her On (But She’ll Never Admit It)

    What secretly turns her on isn’t flowers, date nights, or compliance. It’s something deeper, something EMOTIONALLY dynamic.

    And if you’re not giving it to her? Her heart will drift.

    Most men are blindsided when their wife suddenly says, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”

    And understandably so.

    There were no screaming matches.

    No big fights.

    No obvious red flags.

    Everything seemed… fine.

    “Fine” is a red flag.

    The feminine experience is always full of emotions.

    A woman who feels connected to you will share her full range of feelings with you.

    But if you feel unsafe, she will close off.

    Her removal of emotions can feel like calm waters, but it’s the red flag to watch out for.

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    What Secretly Turns Her On: Emotional Forplay

    We men think of foreplay as sexual touch.

    For women, foreplay happens emotionally.

    She feels erotic tease from playful tension, not avoiding her emotions.

    She’s turned on by strength, not soft appeasement.

    She wants a man who can handle her without going emotionally limp.

    She tests constantly.

    Not out of cruelty, but from a deep, unconscious need to know:“Is this man grounded? Can he handle me? Can he hold me emotionally without going soft?”

    It might come out as a complaint or a mood swing, but it’s a form of emotional foreplay.

    When You’re Too Nice, It Turns Her Off

    If she senses that you adjust everything to please her…

    If your tone rises and falls based on her tone…

    If you’re constantly sacrificing your needs to avoid conflict…

    Or carefully choosing your words to not rock the boat…

    You’re making love to her with a limb emotional noodle.

    The feminine cannot fully trust or be attracted to an emotional noodle softer than hers.

    Emotional Tussle Is the Foreplay She Needs

    Men get turned on by visual and physical beauty.

    Women? They’re turned on by having an emotional tussle.

    When she can push up against you emotionally and feel that you’re solid, unshakable, present, and leading with clarity it sparks something deep.

    It’s a form of seduction.

    You are emotionally erect, penetrating through her feelings with calm, powerful direction.

    That’s the foreplay her nervous system is dying for.

    Not good-boy behaviors.

    Not reactive asshole moves.

    Just a man who stays in his own emotional lane.

    What Secretly Turns Her On: A Man Rooted in His Mission

    She lives in the now. Emotionally.

    You, as the man, must live from the future you’re building.

    What does that mean?

    Even if right now she’s cold, distant, or closed off, you don’t let that define you.

    You show up as the man who already lives in the amazing future you’re committed to.

    Adventure. Passion. Freedom. Stability.

    Whatever that vision is… Behave like it’s yours.

    Embody it. Speak it. Prophesy it into the relationship by selling the vision.

    This is how you create intimacy in an otherwise mundane marriage.

    Ready to Become That Man?

    This is the work I do with men every day.

    Whether you want to save your marriage or attract real connection in your dating life, it starts with you being the grounded, calm, masculine leader she can feel in your tone and vibe.

  • Why Nice Guys End Up in Sexless Marriages

    Why Nice Guys End Up in Sexless Marriages

    Nice guys end up in sexless marriages, not because they’re bad men, but because they’ve been fed some lies about what it means to be a man.

    They think being “nice,” agreeable, and emotionally accommodating will keep the peace and keep the connection alive.

    But here’s the gut punch: nice guys often kill attraction without even realizing it.

    The 22-minute video below explains more.

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    Nice Guys End Up in Sexless Marriages By Not Being Solid In Themselves

    Most men don’t realize that the very behaviors they believe will save their relationship are actually killing the spark.

    Attraction needs:

    • Polarity
    • Boundaries
    • Your spine

    …Not a man who’s constantly tiptoeing around her emotions, hoping not to rock the boat.

    I know this story because I lived it.

    I was the “good husband.”

    The peacekeeper.

    The emotional chameleon who thought avoiding conflict would make me desirable.

    It didn’t.

    And the truth is, your wife can’t choose to feel attraction.

    So stop demanding it from her.

    Stop bending over backward for it.

    Feminine desire doesn’t respond to logic or “not being like your dad”, It responds to energy.

    When your energy is soft, accommodating, and afraid to lead, the spark dies.

    That’s how nice guys end up in sexless marriages without ever seeing it coming.

    Are You Showing Up As A Man You Are Proud Of?

    When you live with purpose, hold standards, and speak from your emotional truth, your confidence grows.

    You stop chasing approval.

    You stop begging for scraps.

    And sometimes, yes…that kind of personal growth often reignites her desire.

    And if it doesn’t? You’ll have the clarity to walk away.

    Knowing you showed up as your best self gives you peace of mind and freedom.

    How To Gain Confidence In Your Relationship

    A man must thrive without feminine support before he can thrive with it.

    How about having:

    • More confidence
    • More passion
    • More success
    • More connection

    All of this is gained when I coach you privately.

  • (Part 3) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    (Part 3) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    This is part 3 of a 3-part series called “Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid” (Click HERE to read part 2). I’m about to share my personal experience. I hope you can learn from my mistakes and be all the wiser!

    Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid If You Want To Turn It Around

    1. Don’t use triggers to determine your behaviors, choices, or actions.
    2. Don’t assume sacrifices and loyalty will win a woman’s heart (know how to value your differences instead).
    3. Avoid holding out for her if she’s said, “I’m done”.

    I know all too well what it’s like to love a woman who doesn’t want to be with you.

    I also know what it’s like to love a woman who used to love you but no longer does.

    In my early days, I used logic to try to attract a girl who clearly didn’t love me.

    I believed that if I saved myself for her by not dating anyone else, she would end things with her boyfriend.

    In my imagined fairytale, she would become my dream wife by falling in love with my devotion and abstinence from other women.

    I demonstrated these traits to her by not dating any other girls for YEARS while she was dating other guys and seemingly not interested in me.

    Despite her full knowledge of my interest, my years of availability for her never seduced her. 

    Even after my divorce, I waited a few years to date.

    My reason was to work on my loneliness without feminine support and to grieve the loss of my marriage.

    But if I’m honest, I also hoped my wife would come running back and I would still be available for her.

    Over the last few years of doing men’s work, I’ve come to terms with a startling reality.

    Women rarely are reattracted to men who hold out for her after she’s said, “I’m done”. 

    I’ve seen more of my clients save their marriage by divorcing her and moving on than by waiting around like a loyal puppy.

    I’ve even seen this in my dating life.

    Once you have a girlfriend, two more women almost always start chasing you.

    When you’re solo with no girlfriend, you tend to go unnoticed by the ladies.

    Being The Kind Of Man Women Chase 

    When we see women pursue a man who appears to be solo, it’s usually because he’s confidently leading a life of FREEDOM.

    He’s doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants.

    He doesn’t hold back because of fear.

    He pushes the limits of what he can create in this life where other people would hesitate.

    These are the guys we see solo sail the Pacific, get in a position of leadership or stand for a cause while everyone else plays it safe.

    The lesson is clear.

    Sitting at home waiting for our runaway wife to come back NEVER works.

    Waiting is like getting our boat stuck on a sand bar.

    She wants to be on a boat that’s going somewhere. 

    Being a martyr by enduring years without sex, weeks without meaningful conversation, or a job we hate is like sinking our boat in the sand

    Being The Man Your Wife Would Cheat With

    It goes without saying.

    When a woman does have an affair, it’s never the man paying her bills or sharing her bed who she cheats with.

    Yet what do we men tend to do when she pulls back and we want intimacy?

    We try to spend MORE time with her, share MORE experiences with her, and talk about the relationship MORE with her.

    Less is more.

    Being the kind of man she would cheat with means we are living our own life.

    In order to be this kind of man, we must STOP seeing her moods or affection as having any meaning about our value, integrity, or purpose.

    Thinking we need her permission to live our life puts our balls in her purse and makes it hard for her to respect us. 

    We need to formulate our own script we operate by that makes us want to get out of bed every day and enjoy living.

    Avoiding her emotions or stonewalling doesn’t count as getting out and living our own life.

    I will help you clarify a new meaning for your purpose as a man in my masculine confidence framework.

    Being a MAN is your inherent role on this earth.

    Yet what that means has become hazy in our modern times.

    In the course, we will help you get back to the primal roots of what it means to be masculine and what it means to be feminine.

    The magic of attraction between masculine and feminine has existed for all of eternity.

    You can tap into this magic by learning how to stay in your own pole (and let her be in hers).

    Book a “Get Grounded Now“ consultation to learn more!

    Your marriage could very well depend on it.

    Much love brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • (Part 1) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    (Part 1) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid

    This is part 1 in a 3-part series. Fair warning. This might be triggering to read. Trust me when I say triggers need to be faced for relationships to improve. Keep reading to see how a man named Luke learned the hard way that triggers are not a guide for recovering a failing marriage. Also, notice how often Luke changes his mind as he’s met with new advice or his wife’s reactions. If you want to stop the downward spiral towards divorce, don’t be a “Luke”  

    Luke’s Wife Could Sense His Indecisiveness

    3 Days ago.

    That’s when Luke’s wife, Hailey, said the dreaded words, “I want a divorce”.

    Luke’s world was turned upside down.

    He knew their marriage had issues but he was shocked she would go so far as to divorce him.

    Luke’s emotions overwhelmed him and he couldn’t keep the tears back.

    He cried, begged, and pleaded for her to change her mind.

    Nothing Luke said could sway Hailey’s decision.

    Determined to keep the marriage together, Luke turned to Reddit for advice.

    “If she wants divorce let her figure out the divorce paperwork on her own” several men advised.

    Another man said, “If she wants to move out, let her do it herself”.

    Luke followed this advice and told Hailey she was all on her own if she wanted to leave him.

    Hearing this upset Hailey, but she resolved to move forward with divorce regardless.

    A few days later, Luke read a free E-book about how to stop divorce.

    The E-book strongly recommended showing leadership by taking charge of the divorce process.

    The E-book claimed many women reconsider their desire for divorce when they witness their partner taking on a leadership role and meeting their needs.

    Luke took this advice to heart and changed his approach towards divorce. 

    Luke told Hailey, “I’ve got moving vans and a storage unit rented, and will help you figure out the divorce paperwork”.

    Hailey let out a huge sigh of relief.

    With teary eyes, she said, “Thank you so much, Luke, that means a lot to me”.  

    Over the next few days, Luke stayed true to his word and helped Hailey pack her things and categorize their assets.

    Luke Second-Guessed Himself

    Luke could hardly sleep at night with his intense grief gnawing at his gut.

    He loved Hailey dearly and helping her with the divorce process was tearing him up.

    Luke turned to YouTube in the wee hours of the morning seeking advice on how he could save his marriage.

    A popular influencer said something that resonated with him.

    The influencer said, “A healthy relationship needs honest and vulnerable communication to grow deeper”.

    This jumped out to Luke.

    Over the years, Hailey had many times said, “I want to know what you’re feeling, why won’t you open up to me?”

    Hailey also complained regularly about his aversion to conflict.

    The next YouTube video Luke watched said, “The strength she craves is proven by your ability to stand up to her and set boundaries.”

    Luke realized he was bulldozing his own feelings by helping Hailey with the divorce.

    What do you think Luke did?

    You guessed it, he once again changed his approach.

    The very next day, he told Hailey, “I’m setting a boundary that I can’t help you with this divorce.”

    Hailey’s eyes filled with frustration and she said, “This is why I’m divorceing you! I never know where you stand because you’re always changing your position!”

    Luke replied, “No I don’t! You always make poor choices that put you in situations I don’t want any part of!”

    Luke defended himself by explaining he was trying to be open with his feelings and stand up for himself like she had always wanted him to.

    Hailey got up and said, “I’m staying at my friend’s house tonight. We’re done”.

    How Luke Should Have Responded To His Failing Marriage

    Avoid changing your mind because of a triggering, painful feeling.

    Urgency and desperation are never good reasons to make big decisions, especially in a failing marriage.

    Trust me when I say it’s better to confidently make the wrong choice and follow through than to keep changing our minds in search of the right choice.

    Luke felt uncertain about how to respond to Hailey because he was using her responses to validate if his choices were correct.

    He also didn’t know how to process grief on his own.

    Luke needed to establish a clear personal code that he could follow confidently, regardless of Hailey’s choices.

    Females are more tuned into our state of self-confidence than they are to the logic supporting our decisions.

    If our behaviors are in flux each time a new perspective emerges, we demonstrate our intentions can be manipulated.

    During separation or divorce, the need for consistency is irreplaceable.

    Resist following every new bit of advice you hear and stick to your own code of conduct!

    It’s okay to change our minds when we do it slowly and deliberately, not because we feel rushed or triggered.

    How You Can Gain Clear, Decisive Thinking In A Failing Marriage

    In my masculine confidence framework, I teach you how to sort preferences from values so you can hold yourself to a personal code no matter what.

    Many men confuse stubbornness with confidence and wonder why they frustrate their wife when they try to hold their ground.

    I will show you how to respond to your wife in a way that makes YOU feel good and opens her heart towards you.

    Fill out a Get Grounded Now application so we can talk!

    I can’t spoon-feed confidence to you, but you can show up to our call with a commitment to positive change as your first step to saving your failing marriage.

    Much love brother,

    Garrett Prettyman

  • How I Gained REAL Confidence When My Wife Stopped Being Intimate

    How I Gained REAL Confidence When My Wife Stopped Being Intimate

    Long before a woman will get naked with us in bed she needs to feel safe to get naked with us emotionally. This article shares my own experience of losing “oblivious” confidence and then gaining REAL confidence when my wife stopped being intimate. When we’re confident from being oblivious, our wife feels emotionally unsafe which triggers her to be closed off. We can easily slip into jealousy and neediness when we feel her heart withdrawing which only pushes her further away. In the video below, masculinity coach Mark Drezga and I discuss how I was faced with a choice to mature into genuine confidence when I realized marriage is not a guarantee of intimacy. 

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    How To Gain REAL Confidence When She Stops Being Intimate

    “Oblivious” Confidence Has An Expiration Date

    When I’m coaching guys around session 2 of my masculine confidence framework, there’s a hard dose of reality to swallow: The security we thought marriage gave us never existed. 

    If we compare marriage to a pond, and lack of intimacy to an alligator, the alligator was there the whole time. 

    We think pretty highly of ourselves when obliviously basking in the sun by an alligator-filled pond. 

    We’ll issue commands, dismiss her feelings, and insist that her hesitation to be intimate near the alligator pond is completely unreasonable

    When we’re “obviously” confident, we’re not aware of the “alligators” were inviting to bite each time we lash out, “fix” or abandon our wife’s emotional world. 

    But hey, we didn’t know what we didn’t know…

    Eventually, the clock runs out, alligators crawl out of the water, and we’re faced with reality that intimacy is gone. 

    When I teach guys how I gained REAL confidence when my wife stopped being intimate, I’m teaching CONSCIOUS, confidence. 

    Conscious, REAL Confidence Is Only Born Through Suffering

    I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite (Form of Amish) church with a 0% divorce rate.  

    We were a private community completely separate from society.

    We didn’t have TVs or radios and we were only permitted to marry within the Mennonite community.

    Courtship was practiced instead of dating (think of courting akin to only dating someone you’ve already decided you will marry).

    My happy, self-assured, cocky-self crumbled when I first asked a girl for courtship and she refused my offer. 

    This was a point where I could have developed conscious confidence, but I didn’t. 

    With my mojo in the toilet, I repressed into victimhood. 

    Needless to say, I attracted zero lovers for several years. 

    Eventually, I got enough spark back that it caught my future wife’s eye.  

    Since divorce was unheard of in ultra-conservative Mennonite churches nationwide, the thought never crossed my mind that I could be divorced.

    Fast forward 10 years later. 

    My wife and I were no longer part of the Mennonite community. 

    I found myself holding divorce papers that I didn’t want to sign.

    My suffering this time was rock bottom for me.  

    It’s only from this place of deflated ego and clarity of reality that “conscious” confidence Is born.

    How I Gained REAL Confidence

    The way I developed conscious, REAL confidence was by spending time around men who already had what I wanted while continuing to FACE my pain.

    Every time I had a victim mindset or a resentful rant these men would challenge me, call me out on my BS, and show me the love and acceptance I had been chasing women for. 

    In time, I learned to face “alligators” knowing they’ve always been there. 

    I was ok when I obliviously faced them, and I’ll be more than okay when I consciously face them.

    Having this type of relaxed, trustable confidence as a leader is the secret to making a marriage work.

    At face value, the Mennonites appear to have cracked the code, but their approach brings on a whole other list of issues we’ll discuss another time. 

    My time as a Mennonite let me see firsthand how when a man leads with confidence, the right woman will follow, and the relationship thrives like it’s supposed to.

    How You Can Stop Being Oblivious

    My masculine confidence coaching program is your ticket to a better, stronger, more intimate marriage.

    The value you’ll gain is a culmination of experienced men who have been in your shoes. 

    We men tend to hang onto the last shred of our ego before finally reaching out for help. 

    Don’t wait until all hope is lost to turn your marriage around by taking action for your self-development NOW. 

    I’m the perfect example of stubbornly holding out to save a dollar only to save nothing.  

    fill out my “Get Grounded Now” consultation form and I’ll help you get clear on your next step to being the great man you want to be.

    Be grounded brother, 

    Garrett Prettyman  

  • 2 Areas Men Overlook In Relationships

    2 Areas Men Overlook In Relationships

    I’m going to show you why wanting your wife to “get her shit together” won’t fix your marriage. If we’re honest with ourselves, the 2 areas men overlook in relationships are no surprise.  Both of these areas involve us getting out of our heads and leaning into acceptance.

    YouTube player
    Guys: How To Spot What Needs Improvement In Your Relationship

    Areas Men Overlook In Relationships #1

    A drop in our gut… 

    A tightness in our chest…

    The hair on our neck bristling…

    The unconscious husband misses these cues to be PRESENT and stop overthinking. 

    He sees the above feelings as “annoyances” caused by his wife. 

    Because of past experiences, we feel emotional reactions to what our wife is doing.

    It’s not other people’s job to adjust to our triggers, nor us to theirs…doing so is a race to the bottom!

    If we all dance to the beat of the most triggered, insecure person in the room, THAT person is setting the bar for how people live.


    We can raise the bar for how people live by taking responsibility for our triggers and by building a new relationship with our traumas.


    This improves our marriage because it takes the pressure off our wife to be responsible for our well-being. 


    Love sets free.


    Loves accepts others for how they are.


    If we want to receive that kind of love we need to give that kind of love.

    The purpose of masculinity is to pioneer uncertainty…To create something new in the face of chaos. 

    A friend of mine categorized all his anxious feelings as his “frizzle”. 

    “Frizzle” Always Means One Thing: The Opportunity To Create Something NEW

    What did Columbus feel before sailing for the New World? Frizzle.

    Before Lewis and Clark embarked on exploring the new far West, they felt Frizzle.

    When Neal Armstrong crawled in a rocket to pioneer the moon exploration, he experienced Frizzle. 

    Your relationship has “new” areas to penetrate with your calm, brave, courageous self-confidence.

    NEW areas in your relationship are trying to evolve through Frizzle.

    Frizzle doesn’t inform us what needs to change in our wife,  it shows us where a NEW frontier in the relationship is calling for our courage.

    Areas Men Overlook In Relationships #2

    We men tend to overlook the fact that our wife is evolving, changing, and constantly going through a metamorphosis.

    We THINK we know who we married, what our wife prefers, how she will respond, and that her wedding day promises are still how she feels today.

    This version of her only lives in our heads.

    In my blog, “Menopause: What Men Need To Know (But Nobody Is Saying)” I interviewed Men’s coach Charlie McKeever.

    Charlie shared a shocking insight: No man can escape menopause, it’s coming!

    We all agree puberty changed us into an entirely different person.

    The shift of a woman changing from being reproductive to not being reproductive is just as dynamic.

    In his book, “Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants” Elliott Katz describes how our wife will go through at least 5 different versions of herself over a lifetime.

    When we react to the version of our wife we have in our head instead of seeking to understand the REAL woman standing before us, our wife feels like we don’t value her heart.

    To maintain an intimate marriage, we need to approach our wife like we’re getting to know a new person.

    What To Do Next For Your Relationship As A Man

    Not sure how to be the stable masculine energy in your relationship who doesn’t need validating by outside factors? 

    The Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence course will teach you EXACTLY how to have internal security.

    Click HERE to save your spot. Your only regret will be that you didn’t do this 30 years ago.  


    The areas men overlook in relationships or common but not that difficult to face once we understand them.


    I’ll be glad to help you find your clarity.

    Stay grounded brother,

    Garrett Prettyman