Masculine Confidence Framework

Category: Her Space

This section contains blog articles to help men know how to respond when their wife needs space or want separation.

What To Do If Your Marriage Isn’t Turning Around

Maybe you’ve been watching videos and trying new things but your marriage isn’t turning around. This post takes the spotlight off the marriage so you can understand who a man must become before his marriage can change for the better.

Most men I work with are brilliant, hard-working guys.

Men who are good at making money, running a business, and competent at problem-solving.

But when they first reach out to me, they’re often frantic, panicking, uncertain, and desperate to fix their marriage.

Ironically, those very feelings are what sabotage relationships.

It makes sense if you think about it.

How we act when we’re needy, reactive, and jealous isn’t attractive.

But my clients who succeed in saving their marriages? They’re the ones who find their inner confidence, allowing their presence to feel unshakable.

You can SAY all the right things.

DO all the right things.

But if your presence feels needy or unsure, your wife’s heart will close.

All my clients who saved their marriage know this to be true: You can say and do all the wrong things…But if your presence is solid, clear, and unrattled, your wife will open her heart to you.

You’re attracted to the female form…the curves…the scent… that can’t be helped.

She can’t help but be attracted to the unrattled man.

So stop trying to talk your marriage back together.

Stop trying to do more to convince her of your value.

Relax into knowing you got this and have nothing to prove.

Get on with livin’ and let your presence be undivided and unshook around her.

Your Next Step If Your Marriage Isn’t Turning Around

If your wife can pull your strings and push your buttons, her attraction and respect will fade.

Confidence isn’t found by learning how to numb yourself.

That’s just being an emotional zombie.

Inner security isn’t about avoiding negative feelings (like anger or rejection).

Mature masculine strength is about breathing through strong feelings without letting them dictate your choices.

When you breathe through negative feelings, there is always clarity, strength, and calm on the other side.

Want to learn how to be unrattled?

October 19, 2025
Why She Says, “I Can’t Keep Doing This”
When your wife says, “I can’t keep doing this,” she’s not joking.

Her commitment to the marriage revolves around how she feels.

But she’s leaving something out. Something you need to understand.

Let’s break that down.

What She REALLY Means When She Says, “I Can’t Keep Doing This”

Here’s what you need to understand: When your wife complains, pulls away, or shuts down, what she says is the problem is rarely the real issue.

You might hear things like:
- “I’m exhausted.”
- “I feel like I’m the only one making efforts in this relationship.”
- “You just don’t get me anymore.”
- “I can’t trust you with my emotions.”
- ” I can’t keep doing this”
- “You forgot my birthday… again.”
It’s tempting to take these “problems” literally and jump into fix-it mode.

To defend yourself

To apologize.

To explain why she’s wrong or how your intentions going forward will be different (which is defensiveness).

But here’s what I keep learning from coaching hundreds of men (and living this myself):

The things she says are just surface symptoms.

The real issue?

It only emerges after she voices all her complaints and is met with your grounded presence and compassion.

When a woman feels emotionally unsafe with you, her nervous system shifts into survival mode.

She’s not trying to be difficult; she’s trying to protect herself.

Protect herself from what?

Your explanations.

Your avoidance.

Your logic.

All the things that make your presence feel limp or reactive.

And when she starts to feel like she’s parenting you emotionally, like she’s the only one holding the relationship together…

Desire dies.

Respect erodes.

Trust disappears.

Attraction fades.

Most men make it worse by trying to convince her to feel different instead of learning how to be with what she feels.

The Deeper Issue Under What She’s Feeling

When attraction is strong, women let a lot slide.

It’s not about the dishes.

It’s not the missed text.

It’s not even the canceled date night.

She doesn’t complain about those things when she feels connected to you.

Because those aren’t the real problem.

It’s about the emotional weight she’s been carrying—alone.

When she says, “I can’t keep dragging you like dead weight…”

Brother, she’s serious.

She says, “I can’t keep doing this,” because she actually can’t.

She needs a break.

Space.

A reset.

So What Should You Do?

You start by dropping your need for her to be different.

This is not the time to push her to stay in the relationship.

Don’t try to change her feelings.

Accept them.

Empathize with them.

Make plans that support the break she needs.

Let her feel what she feels without trying to correct the facts.

Trying to explain, defend, or “set the record straight” confirms what she already fears: That you care more about being right than being connected.

Lead with presence.

Lead with curiosity.

Hear her pain without trying to rescue her from it.

Because if you can’t stay grounded when she brings the messy stuff, she never trusts you with the deeper stuff.

The playful stuff.

The intimate stuff.

Trying to convince her to stay is often the same invalidating behavior that drives her away in the first place.

If she really wants out, let her go.

And don’t be surprised when she circles back.

How To Rewrite Your Love Story Into One She Loves

Your old love story with your wife?

It’s finished.

Done.

Over.

It can’t be brought back to life.

But a new story? That’s possible.

A story where you meet.

Where you date.

Where you fall in love again.

Moment by moment, you’re writing that new story.

But here’s the thing: If you’re not crystal clear on how you show up in that new story, you just rewrite the same one all over again.

Clarity is what prevents you from re-creating the same dynamic with someone new.

For many men, their “new wife” isn’t someone else, it’s the same woman, finally free to become a new version of herself

Funny how she starts showing up differently when YOU do.

I can help you become this kind of man.
June 21, 2025
Fear of Divorce: The Fastest Way to Lose Her
The fear of divorce is one of the fastest ways to destroy your marriage.

I see it all the time.

Men caught in limbo, walking on eggshells, doing everything they can to “fix” the relationship.

They don’t realize it’s their panic that’s pushing her further away.

The Fear of Divorce Makes You Reactive

When a marriage feels like it’s slipping, most men obsess over the worst-case scenarios:
- What if I lose my kids?
- What if she leaves me for someone else?
- What if she already has someone else?
- What if everything I built disappears overnight?
When I ran my landscaping company, I trained guys to mow stripes into a lawn, straight as an arrow.

The patterns you see on a baseball diamond!

I’d say, “Don’t look down at the mower wheel. Look straight ahead at a fence post or tree, and focus on that as you drive towards it. Perfect lines happen when you fix your eyes on the goal—not by constantly trying to steer straight in the moment.”

Your marriage is no different.

When you live from fear, you zigzag emotionally.

You try to control.

You overcorrect.

Every bump takes your energy and focus.

When you stay connected to a powerful, positive vision of your future, you’ll eventually look back and realize you created that life by refusing to live in fear right now.

Fear of Divorce Never Creates Intimacy

You can’t panic your way into a better relationship.

No one begs their way back into a woman’s heart.

Now is a time to remain deeply connected to who you really are.

Ask yourself: “What future do I want to create? How would a grounded, deliberate man behave today if he believed that future was possible?

Most relationships begin with butterflies, but warm tingles alone are not what long-term relationships are made of.

Marriages only last when two mature people align on:
- A shared vision
- Shared values
- A common path forward
She can’t share any of that with you if you don’t know where you’re going or who you are without her.

If you’re waiting for her to choose you before you can be amazing, you’re not leading—you’re looking down at the mower wheel.

The fear of divorce makes you look at her for your sense of direction.

She can’t give you that.

Masculine Leadership comes from remaining connected to who you are even when life throws a curveball.

The Work Starts With You

This is why I coach men to build emotional clarity and masculine leadership from the inside out.

You don’t need her permission to become the man you respect.

You need a clear vision of where you’re going—and the guts to act like it’s already yours.

That’s the kind of man who BEHAVES in a way women can’t manipulate or derail.

And those behaviors are what make you irresistible to her.
May 7, 2025
If I Give Her Space, Won’t We Drift Apart?
If your wife asks you to give her space, it didn’t come out of nowhere. By the time she gets to that point, she’s already been emotionally detaching for months—maybe even years. And most men don’t realize it until it’s too late.

Today, we’re going deeper into the three stages of detachment a woman goes through before she ends a relationship.

If you don’t catch it early, you’ll find yourself blindsided when she finally says, “I need space.”

I’m not talking about the kind of “space” where she’s just tired tonight, I’m talking about when she’s considering divorce.

1. Emotional Detachment

This is the first and most subtle stage—and also the easiest to miss.

Emotional detachment begins when she stops feeling seen, heard, or valued in the relationship.

Her emotional needs aren’t being met, and over time, her heart starts to close off.

This doesn’t happen overnight.

She used to share her thoughts, feelings, and worries with you, but now? She keeps them to herself.

Bringing up the little things no longer happens because she’s already convinced herself you won’t understand.

At this stage, you might notice:
- She’s less engaged in conversations.
- She stops initiating affection or spending quality time.
- She’s quick to get irritated over small things.
- She begins focusing more on her friends, work, or hobbies—anything but you.
2. Spiritual Detachment

Once she emotionally detaches, she starts seeing a future without you.

This is when she stops believing in “us.”

Women stay in relationships when they feel a deep sense of trust and emotional safety—not just physically, but spiritually.

When that’s gone, she starts to imagine what life would be like without you.

She stops picturing you in her future and instead, envisions her life alone or with someone who actually listens when she talks about her day.

Signs of spiritual detachment include:
- She stops making long-term plans with you.
- She avoids deep conversations about the future.
- She doesn’t care to argue anymore—because she’s already mentally checking out.
- She’s indifferent to your efforts to “fix” things.
3. Physical Detachment

By the time she physically detaches, she’s already gone in her mind.

Her body follows what her heart has been feeling for months or years.

This is when she stops wanting to be touched, avoids intimacy, and might even move into another room—or out of the house entirely.

At this stage, if you try to force closeness, it only reinforces her belief that you don’t understand her.

She sees it as pressure, not love—kind of like when a salesman follows you around a store even after you’ve said, “I’m just looking.”

What physical detachment looks like:
- She stops wanting to be intimate or withdraws from sex.
- She recoils from physical touch.
- She prefers to be alone rather than spend time together.
- She starts sleeping separately—or expresses a desire to move out.
Don’t Fear Drifting Apart— Give Her Space

Most men react to their wife’s withdrawal by chasing her harder.

They try to fix things, talk it out, or prove their love through desperate gestures.

But that only makes things worse.

Instead of chasing, you need to shift your focus inward.
- Detach from needing her validation. If your happiness depends on her affection, she will feel pressured and suffocated.
- Rebuild your sense of self. Who are you without the marriage? What makes you excited about life outside of her?
- Respect the space she needs. Giving her space isn’t about losing her—it’s about creating an opportunity for her to miss you.
The Bottom Line: Give Her Space, Gain Clarity

If she’s asking for space, it’s because she feels overwhelmed by pressure—whether from the relationship or from her own emotions.

Your job isn’t to fix it right now.

Your job is to become the kind of man who is steady, secure, and capable of standing strong, even when things feel uncertain.

I go deeper into this in my book, How High-Achieving Men In Their 40s Can Restore Passionate Intimacy With Their Wife of 18 Plus Years.

You can grab a free copy HERE.

Breathe.

Trust the process.

You got this.

Garrett Prettyman
February 28, 2025
Your Wife Wants Space? Here’s How Not to Screw It Up

If your wife wants space, is sleeping in the other room, shutting down, or even asking you to leave—this is for you.

Her need for space isn’t what you think.

Before you react, take a step back and get clear on the difference between physical space and emotional space.

Stick with me, because by the end of this, you’ll have a game plan that could turn your marriage around for good. I explain more in this 4-minuted video:

What It Really Means When Your Wife Wants Space

Before a woman asks for physical space, she’s already been drowning in something else: Emotional PRESSURE.

Think about a time when someone pressed on you emotionally.

Maybe it was…

? A boss who micromanaged your every move

? A client who was impossible to please

? A friend who constantly needed reassurance that you weren’t pulling away

What happens? The more they cling, the more you want to run.

Yet when a wife wants space, what do most men instinctively do?

They push harder.

They try to talk it out, spend more time together, fix it.

More effort. More intensity. More pressure.

And it backfires.

If you’re in this spot, less is more—but not in the way most men think.

How to Give Emotional Space When Your Wife Wants Space

Most women want their marriage to work.

But when she asks for space, it means she’s exhausted every other way of telling you she’s overwhelmed.

She’s not asking you to disappear.

She’s asking you to give her emotional breathing room—to learn how to be in the same room with her without making it feel like pressure.

This is where most men get stuck.

You can be sitting on the couch holding her hand and still be giving her the emotional space she needs.

It’s called Emotional Detachment.

And it’s a skill every man in a long-term relationship needs to master.

What Does Detachment Look Like?

Detachment isn’t passive. It’s not “giving up.” It’s the opposite—it’s learning to stay present, strong, and unfazed while letting go of the need to control or fix.

Here’s what detachment actually means:

? Not taking her reactions personally

? Seeing things from her perspective (even if you don’t agree)

? Recognizing her unique experience and supporting her through it

? Knowing who YOU are so clearly that her emotions don’t feel like threats

? Trusting who YOU are so deeply that you don’t need to explain or justify yourself

? Not needing a specific outcome to be okay

This is what makes a man unshakeable.

When you can hold this frame that allows her to be who she is—that’s when the pressure starts to lift.

That’s when her need for physical space goes away because emotional space was provided.

Exactly What to Do Over the Next 6 Months

I’ve guided countless men through the “I need space” season of their marriage.

You don’t have to guess your way through this.

Book a free “Get Grounded Now” call, and we’ll break it down step by step.

Picture this: You leading your relationship out of frustration and into connection.

? No more walking on eggshells

? No more chasing validation

? No more emotional tug-of-war

Instead, you become the man who naturally draws her back in—by showing up in a way that makes her want to be close again.

If your wife wants space, it’s a wake-up call. Not to chase. Not to fix. But to step into a version of yourself that she actually wants to be around.

She needs you to be that guy.

And you already have it in you.

When a man trusts himself—when he gains clarity on who he is—it takes the pressure off his wife to validate him.

That’s when everything shifts. That’s when attraction returns on its own.

We’ll cover all of this on the call—including how to rebuild a positive emotional connection so you can turn this ship around.

Stay grounded, brother.

—Garrett Prettyman

February 14, 2025
How To Have Certainty When Her Commitment Is Unclear
Our wife’s love and affection is empowering, but when her commitment is unclear it can feel like the rug got pulled out. This article will help you take control when your marriage is slipping away by helping you see that nothing done out of fear can create LONG-TERM closeness in a relationship.

The Airplane Of Uncertianty

Imagine you’re on an airplane.

30 minutes into the flight, the intercom comes on.

“Hello, this is your captain speaking. The weather is stormy today! We don’t know our current location or how much fuel we have. On behalf of AAA Airlines, we would like to thank you for choosing us to reach your final destination.”

Very few passengers would remain relaxed with this sort of announcement.

If a glance out the aircraft window revealed smoke from the left engine, fear could turn into panic.

When our wife’s commitment to the marriage becomes uncertain, we can become paralyzed with fear….And panic!

Fear is a deceptive thing.

Reactions from fear FEEL logical in the moment, but fear-based responses RARELY help a critical situation.

“Plane Crash Adverted By Passenger Panic”…Said no newspaper title ever!

Here’s the twist.

You’re not a passenger on the “airplane of uncertianty”, you are the captain.

As captain, you can land the plane even if your wife has pulled the eject button.

Many guys I’ve coached found after he “landed the plane”, his wife’s parachute dropped her back into his love life.

“Landing the plane” means no longer:
- Demanding her love and loyalty
- Thinking the “other guy” is a threat to getting what you want
- Trying to convince her why you are the better choice
- Wallowing in your agony
- Chasing her for affection and time
- Forcing her to be decisive and know what she wants
The list above is what I call “guy drama”.

“Guy drama” comes from our inner little boy, not the mature man.

Little boys fall on the ground at the grocery store and cry for candy when their mommy won’t give it to them.

Little boys also wine, complain, and let their FEELINGS guide their actions.

Trust me, your wife craves a MAN, not a boy.

What To Do When Her Commitment Is Unclear

In the 25-minute video below, I cover 3 areas that will give you more clarity about how to show up as the MAN when your wife is uncertain of her love for you.

You can also check out my eBook, “The Sexless Husband’s Guide To Intimacy Through Attraction” to better understand what’s really happening when love and attraction are low in a marriage.

I would love for you to have MORE love, MORE attraction, and MORE intimacy in your life!

The season when those things are low can feel brutal.

You have the potential to be confident, secure, and happy RIGHT NOW.

If you’ve read this far, then YOU are the kind of man who has the fortitude to make positive changes.

Your ability to remain unperturbed in your positive, loving, happy, and fun self when your wife’s commitment is unclear is the only path to evoking her desire to join you in being those things.

If you want to have a private consultation to see if my coaching is right for you, simply fill out my “Get Grounded Now Form“.

Stay Grounded Brother,

Garrett Prettyman
December 11, 2024
Can You Make Your Wife Love You Again?
This email explains how we can easily get caught up on surface-level issues in our marriage. Asking if you can make your wife love you again is a surface-level question. We can DO all the right things but that won’t attract our wife’s loving affection if we’re not BEING the kind of man who makes her feel emotionally safe and trusting. Below are three better questions to ask ourselves. These questions will help uncover underlying issues when our wife seems to have lost interest in us.

1. What Do Women Need To Feel In Love?

A few days ago, Google directed a man to my blog because he had a heartfelt question.

His question was, “Can you make your wife love you again?”

If you’ve ever wondered if your wife can love you again, you know how he must feel.

No doubt his story is much like yours or mine.

He remembers when his wife used to respond affectionately to his touch and smile when he entered the room.

Having an intimate and supportive relationship with her probably inspired him to work hard at his job and remain committed to the relationship.

But over the years, something changed.

A small peck on her cheek seems to annoy her now.

Placing his hand on her leg makes her tense up.

He’s met with excuses when he tries to initiate sex with her.

He hoped this was just a phase but over the months, it has only got worse.

Today, he’s wondering if she will ever love him enough to engage in the intimate, respectful, nurturing relationship he craves to have with her.

Asking if our wife can fall back in love with us is a surface-level question.

A deeper question is, “What do women need to feel in love?”

You see, we can DO all the right things in our relationship but if we make her feel disconnected, pressured, or criticized we can kiss intimacy goodbye.

Without a consistent experience of emotional safety and connection, she won’t feel enough trust to expose her intimate side.

2. What Limits You From Building Connection, Trust, & Emotional Safety With Your Wife?

It’s ironic how we, as guys, tend to answer this question the same.

We tend to focus on what needs to change about HER (like her state of limbo, irrational thinking, or emotional drama).

Another usual response is getting stuck on deciding if the relationship is worth our effort or not.

These common responses send a message to her that we can’t see past our own discomfort to connect with her feelings.

This makes us feel boyish and like a powerless victim to her.

It should go without saying that being a victim or acting boyish isn’t the path to building a better connection with our wife.

Criticizing her moods, arguing, walking on eggshells, and being resentful doesn’t help either.

When we look closer at ourselves, we might find even deeper issues.

When we look closer at ourselves, we might find even deeper issues.

Issues such as…
- Feeling like a failure
- Aversion to conflict
- A knee-jerk response to people-please
These deeper personal issues are what we need to focus on to unblock a meaningful emotional connection with our wife.

This connection is critical in a long-term relationship.

Without it, she won’t be able to trust herself to be soft and affectionate towards us.

3. What Is 100% In Your Control Right Now?

There are 3 zones in life…
1. What’s out of our control
2. What’s under our influence
3. What’s in our control
Happiness, confidence, clear boundaries, and mojo only come from staying focused on things 100% in our control.

Our wife’s feelings towards us are under our influence, not under our control.

Whenever I speak to a man who is frustrated, lonely, upset, rejected, or in panic mode, it’s because he’s been focusing on things that are either out of his control or only under his influence.

When I’m coaching a man who doesn’t know what to do next in his relationship (limbo) it’s usually because he hasn’t forged an internal masculine frame that is 100% in his control.

Our masculine frame is our blueprint to follow!

Although this sounds like simple advice, many of us didn’t know HOW to build a masculine frame that is 100% in our control before our marriage called for it.

A Call To Confidence

If we have a blueprint or a “compass” to follow, we will always know how to respond to things like being rejected for sex, marriage limbo, or the uncertainty of her feelings towards us.

Hint: Her timing or clarity of feelings is not a compass.

Last year, a man we’ll call John, joined one of my group courses where I teach my masculine confidence framework.

John was down in the dumps.

He and his wife hadn’t had sex in many months.

His wife was unsure if she could continue in their marriage of 25+ years.

6 weeks into the course, everything changed for John!

He learned how to have his own compass to follow even when his wife was withdrawn or emotional.

He learned how to give her emotional space without walking on eggshells around her.

Her passion for him returned and to this day, they are both loving a brand new version of their marriage!

When I take you through my masculine confidence framework, I train you to forge an internal locus of control.

This means you learn how to respond from the inside out instead of the outside in.

Being this kind of non-reactive man who can be comfortable in his own skin is the only version of yourself your wife can fall back in love with.

Would you like help identifying the underlining issues that are keeping your marriage stuck?

If so, then fill out my “Get Grounded Now” form for a free consultation.

Much Love Brother,

Garrett Prettyman
July 30, 2024
(Part 3) Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid
This is part 3 of a 3-part series called “Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid” (Click HERE to read part 2). I’m about to share my personal experience. I hope you can learn from my mistakes and be all the wiser!

Failing Marriage: 3 Things To Avoid If You Want To Turn It Around
1. Don’t use triggers to determine your behaviors, choices, or actions.
2. Don’t assume sacrifices and loyalty will win a woman’s heart (know how to value your differences instead).
3. Avoid holding out for her if she’s said, “I’m done”.
I know all too well what it’s like to love a woman who doesn’t want to be with you.

I also know what it’s like to love a woman who used to love you but no longer does.

In my early days, I used logic to try to attract a girl who clearly didn’t love me.

I believed that if I saved myself for her by not dating anyone else, she would end things with her boyfriend.

In my imagined fairytale, she would become my dream wife by falling in love with my devotion and abstinence from other women.

I demonstrated these traits to her by not dating any other girls for YEARS while she was dating other guys and seemingly not interested in me.

Despite her full knowledge of my interest, my years of availability for her never seduced her.

Even after my divorce, I waited a few years to date.

My reason was to work on my loneliness without feminine support and to grieve the loss of my marriage.

But if I’m honest, I also hoped my wife would come running back and I would still be available for her.

Over the last few years of doing men’s work, I’ve come to terms with a startling reality.

Women rarely are reattracted to men who hold out for her after she’s said, “I’m done”.

I’ve seen more of my clients save their marriage by divorcing her and moving on than by waiting around like a loyal puppy.

I’ve even seen this in my dating life.

Once you have a girlfriend, two more women almost always start chasing you.

When you’re solo with no girlfriend, you tend to go unnoticed by the ladies.

Being The Kind Of Man Women Chase

When we see women pursue a man who appears to be solo, it’s usually because he’s confidently leading a life of FREEDOM.

He’s doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants.

He doesn’t hold back because of fear.

He pushes the limits of what he can create in this life where other people would hesitate.

These are the guys we see solo sail the Pacific, get in a position of leadership or stand for a cause while everyone else plays it safe.

The lesson is clear.

Sitting at home waiting for our runaway wife to come back NEVER works.

Waiting is like getting our boat stuck on a sand bar.

She wants to be on a boat that’s going somewhere.

Being a martyr by enduring years without sex, weeks without meaningful conversation, or a job we hate is like sinking our boat in the sand

Being The Man Your Wife Would Cheat With

It goes without saying.

When a woman does have an affair, it’s never the man paying her bills or sharing her bed who she cheats with.

Yet what do we men tend to do when she pulls back and we want intimacy?

We try to spend MORE time with her, share MORE experiences with her, and talk about the relationship MORE with her.

Less is more.

Being the kind of man she would cheat with means we are living our own life.

In order to be this kind of man, we must STOP seeing her moods or affection as having any meaning about our value, integrity, or purpose.

Thinking we need her permission to live our life puts our balls in her purse and makes it hard for her to respect us.

We need to formulate our own script we operate by that makes us want to get out of bed every day and enjoy living.

Avoiding her emotions or stonewalling doesn’t count as getting out and living our own life.

I will help you clarify a new meaning for your purpose as a man in my masculine confidence framework.

Being a MAN is your inherent role on this earth.

Yet what that means has become hazy in our modern times.

In the course, we will help you get back to the primal roots of what it means to be masculine and what it means to be feminine.

The magic of attraction between masculine and feminine has existed for all of eternity.

You can tap into this magic by learning how to stay in your own pole (and let her be in hers).

Book a “Get Grounded Now“ consultation to learn more!

Your marriage could very well depend on it.

Much love brother,

Garrett Prettyman
July 23, 2024
My Wife Wants A Divorce But I Don’t!
I tip my hat to you, brother! Saying, “My wife wants a divorce but I don’t” bears testimony of your love and care for the relationship. Trying to keep your family and marriage together is a noble act! This article will help you focus on root issues that must be addressed for your marriage to be saved. I’m including a true story about how one of my clients saved his marriage.

Do Not Do What You Feel Like Doing

Notice how paramedics behave when they show up to the scene of an accident.

They arrive calm, intentional, and focused on their role without adding to the drama.

Almost all the things you feel like saying, feel like doing, and feel should make your wife want to stay in the marriage will only push her away.

The reason for this is simple.

Right now, you are in a state of fear and desperation.

Have you ever met a desperate salesperson?

Did you want to buy from them?

I think you see my point.

To save your marriage, you’ll need to do things that will feel counterintuitive.

The proof is in the pudding, just read the true story below.

Paul looked at me and said, “My Wife Wants A Divorce But I Don’t!”

Paul came to me desperate to save his marriage of 10 years.

Over the last two years, he had tried to be the best husband possible only to learn his wife had been having an emotional affair over that time.

Paul was hurt beyond words and was ready to cut off his right arm if it would save his marriage and keep his family together.

About 20 minutes into our conversation, it became obvious what was wrong with his relationship.

Paul’s wife had become her own man.

We can identify when our wife has become her own man when she…
- Is making most of the decisions
- Is the only one addressing conflict with friends and family
- Has been in charge of the romance department for a long time
- Is being logical, punctual, and direct
- Acts from her thinking instead of her heart
- Notices what needs to be done and goes first
The magic formula for marriage to work is for the man to be masculine and for the woman to be feminine.

Men can choose to be masculine whenever they want.

However, a woman isn’t necessarily able to be feminine whenever she wants.

Like a flower that needs water, soil, and sunlight, a woman’s feminity needs a safe environment to emerge.

Women who become their own man are made, not born.

For many years, Paul had been wishy-washy in his choices.

He avoided conflict and placated to whatever would make his wife happy.

Pleasing her during intimacy was his source of personal validation.

Since he didn’t want to come off as an asshole, he would always agree with her and not set boundaries.

When we live the mantra, “Happy wife, happy life”, we are setting our wife up to feel alone and unprotected.

Her fun, flirty, soft, and affectionate side needs a knight standing at the door for her to feel safe, not a people pleaser.

If the knight becomes reactive and dangerous, she will put up her guard and be her own man.

If the knight hides in the corner afraid of upsetting her, she will put up her guard and become her own man.

How Paul Saved His Marriage

Paul and I worked together for almost nine months.

Over that time, we focused on building his masculine frame so he could have confidence in his relationship.

He learned how to respond from his own agency, and to interact with his wife from a place of empathy and curiosity.

The biggest test to his confidence came when I told him, “If you love her, you need to let her go”

Paul finally stopped resisting the divorce process his wife had been determined to pursue for so long.

He finally accepted that if she couldn’t see a future with him, then she was free to go.

This was not an easy choice and it weighed heavy on him for weeks.

Paul focused on self-care and spent time with quality men he looked up to.

Then one day when he least expected it, his wife called off the divorce.

They made love that night and to this day are still together.

Their marriage is very different now since Paul is leading the relationship with his masculine frame.

His wife is learning to relax into her feminine energy and let go of things as Paul takes the lead.

Mentorship For Men Saying, “My Wife Want’s A Divorce But I Don’t”

If you’re ready to be guided on a path of building your masculine frame, then fill out my “Get Grounded Now” consultation form.

The masculine confidence framework I teach men enables the kind of environment women need to relax into their affectionate, vulnerable, soft, and juicy side.

Our first call is free!

I was once that guy who called a mentor and said, “My wife wants a divorce but I don’t”.

I’m ready to share all the insights I’ve collected over the years to help your marriage!

I promise you’ll gain instant clarity about what to do differently in your relationship.

Much love brother,

Garrett Prettyman
July 16, 2024
3 Steps To Take If Your Marriage Is Failing

Years ago, I was stressing out at 3:00 AM typing “My marriage is failing and I don’t know what to do” into Google. I compare that time of my life to being on a train headed for a concrete wall without knowing how to apply the brakes. This article and video below will give you 3 steps to take when your marriage is failing. In the end, I’ll share a secret every husband should know about.

Men Who Saved Their Marriage Took These 3 Steps

It’s a lonely season when we feel Google is the only person we can turn to when our marriage is suffering.

Many men can relate.

We find ourselves completely alone while facing relationship problems we have no idea how to resolve.

Welcome to a new way brother.

I connect men into a brotherhood where they share sage old wisdom unfiltered.

Here is some of that wisdom…

When A Marriage Is Failing, Take These 3 Steps

Step 1

Don’t do what you feel like doing.

During marriage distress, doing what we feel like almost always makes matters worse and will leave us with regrets.

Do you feel like begging? Don’t.

Do you feel like getting her a dozen roses? Don’t.

Do you feel like setting an ultimatum? Don’t.

How we act when we’re desperate never ignites our wife’s affection.

There is a time to boldly and confidently declare your wants, but at this point of marriage collapse, we have way too much fear and anxiety in our blood for our actions to not wreak of desperation.

Step 2

Come to terms that the marriage cannot be worked on.

We can only work on one thing, and that is ourselves.

This means we need to grow the biggest pair of balls we’ve ever had and let the version of the relationship we’ve been feeding in our heads go.

That means dropping the idea that she’s a total bitch or that she’s your “one and only”.

It’s easy to assume if we stop fighting for the relationship, the marriage will be over, our wife will start having sex with other men, and we’ll end up alone forever.

These are all fear-based assumptions.

What we want in life can never be created from a place of fear.

If our wife smells fear on us, she will feel like she has to fend for herself (a terrifying place for a woman to be).

Things like love, affection, and a deep relationship cannot be white-knuckled into existence.

Trying to “work on the relationship” is the same as trying to fly a kite when there is no wind.

No amount of fixing or tweaking the kite will allow it to soar until there is wind.

Being a man of momentum who is unshakable in himself, has a specific purpose he’s passionate about, and fearlessly creates the experiences he loves in life is the wind your relationship needs.

Step 3

Let her come to you.

In order for her to come to us, we need to first be at a place for her to join.

Want her to be happy? Figure out how to be happy yourself.

Want her to respect you? Learn to show respect towards her.

If we want to be chosen, desired, and sought after, then we must give her choices, not chase her, and make ourselves a rarity to possess.

If we’re full of anger, resentment, expectations and gloom, it’s a low bar for her to join us at.

Invite her to a juicy, interesting, exciting way of doing life by doing it for your own sake.

If she wants to join, she will see your example as an invitation.

A Bonus Secret To Turn Your Relationship Around

Imagine thousands of men worldwide who have already been in your situation.

Think how valuable it would be if they all came together to share what has worked and what hasn’t worked in creating a great marriage.

Over the years, these men would have actively observed which practices failed and subsequently removed them

Mindsets, behaviors, and actions that proved to create lasting positive change would be clarified into basic steps.

My secret is this collective wisdom is what you gain in my private coaching.

I didn’t make this stuff up.

I’m passing on to you the accumulation of knowledge from countless mentors and real men doing life successfully.

Gain years of experience in a short amount of time by reaching out.

Fill out my “Get Grounded Now” form for a free consultation.

I promise the secret wealth of knowledge we’ve been accumulating over the years will prove invaluable to you if your marriage is failing.

Be grounded brother,

Garrett Prettyman

April 6, 2024